Ron + Hope: Unfiltered - Marriage: Can I Fall In Love Again?

Ron and Hope Carpenter (podcast/video) discuss whether spouses can 'fall in love again' after the early-romance phase. They distinguish chemical/feeling-based attraction (butterflies, dopamine, eros/phileo) from covenantal/agape love and argue that feelings can be rekindled by intentional, small daily gestures (the 'love bank', mutual submission, love languages, shared service and scheduled time). The episode combines personal anecdotes, pastoral scripture exposition (Ephesians-style household teaching), and concrete tips; it also includes a sponsor ad (Boll & Branch sheets) and a promo for their marriage conference.
Chapters
Foreign.
Hello, everybody. Ron and Hope Unfiltered.
I'm so grateful today. Why I'm grateful every day. This is the day the Lord hath made. We'll rejoice and be glad because you.
Got on your biker shirt.
Nope. This is like Larry the Cable Guy, kind of what he wears.
Oh, my God, it is. If you didn't have on that blue shirt.
But this is the thing. I bought this at Zara.
It don't matter anyway. Zara's like the main thing. I wish people. I hope people are watching this one on YouTube and if you're listening to it, listen to it. But go back and watch it on YouTube because you're doing a little alfalfa hair or something. You got.
You tried to push it down, but what happened?
It wouldn't go down. That's Alpha.
Cuz it's already got.
What's that goopy stuff?
Bed head, baby.
You got like. It's like a whole, like a stick up.
Why did you let me get on the air? Well, you got to take care of me. I trusted you.
Oh, Lord have mercy. It's not moving. How much hairspray did you put on your hair?
You ever heard of bed head? Get it anywhere. No, I'm. I am. I'm grateful today. Grateful for our people, grateful for the podcast. But right now, I'm grateful for whoever on the earth created yoga pants.
Oh, my Lord. I thought you were about to get spiritual.
I just am indebted because I have.
On yoga pants today.
And since this morning, when you put the yoga pants on, I have just had a sense of gratitude in my heart. I'm going to Google who invented them, and I'm gonna sow a seed. I'm gonna sow a seed in the.
Yoga pants have changed the world.
They changed my life. Have a debt of gratitude.
I wish everybody listening could see our technicians in here who got their head down. They won't even look at us.
They won't look us in the eye.
They're just shaking their head.
She's been walking in and out of my office all day with yoga pants on. I've gotten nothing done. Nothing. Such a distraction anyway. Every time I try to focus, it just. It breaks my focus.
Well, let me tell you, this is a really good intro to what we're talking about today.
What we're talking about.
We are talking about. Can you fall in love again in marriage? Can you? Okay, Let that sink in.
What does that mean?
Because a lot of people are in marriage.
Listen.
A lot of people are in Marriage. But they don't have the butterflies anymore. And they don't think. Okay, listen. They don't think they love the person because they don't have those butterfly feelings. But there is a difference in the feelings and what God's love is.
There is a quick fix to that because yoga pants bring back the butterflies.
Ron.
Everything ain't spiritual, baby. Some things are natural.
That's what we're going to talk about, the natural things today.
Well, that's one of them yoga pants.
So if everybody would just wear yoga pants.
Guys, we don't want to see that, okay? We don't want to see that.
Chip Wilson invented the yoga pant.
Chip Wilson, a boy.
Of course he did.
Lord, today we just want to thank you for Chip.
Of course he did.
I mean, it is a great, great thing. But you just brought it to my attention in a mighty way today. I hadn't had it brought to my attention like that. So I just wanted to let everybody know that I woke up with a grateful heart.
Okay, Praise his name. Let's keep going.
Fall in love again. Let me stop. What does that even mean?
Ron, we counsel a lot of people. We have a lot of people in our lives and in our marriage conference who come and they say, well, I just don't. I don't think I'm in love with them anymore. I hear that so much. I'm just not in love with them.
I need to flip over, Scott.
I don't like them anym. You know, they get on my nerves. I'm not in love anymore. Well, we are here to tell you today that you can get that back. You can get those butterflies back. You can get the. I like them back. It's all according to what you do for one another, how you serve and how you sow into each other's lives. There's a difference in the first Corinthians 13. Love. That's not what we're talking about today. You're looking at me really, really lovey dovey.
Well, I'm not sure what direction you want me to go because I was going to back up and say, what does that even mean, to fall in love?
Let me start. Let me say this. Listen. Why did you get married? Why did we get married? Why does anybody get. Think about it.
If you're listening to us, you guys don't want to hear me. Because I'm a different breed. I'm a. I'm a different kind of person.
Most people do not say, oh, I'm going to get married, because this person Compliments my business skills. And we're going to start this business.
Unless you're watching Love is Blind.
Oh, my gosh. Have you ever. That is ridiculous. Love is Blind. Where they get in these pods and.
Connection and vibe and we have the potential to get emotionally. I'm like, who does that?
Okay. But anyway, I just. No. How did we get married, Ron? We got married because we were in love.
I got married because I didn't want to spend my life another day without you.
Right. Without me. You loved me.
I wanted to be with you every day for restaurant.
Without you. I. I had those feelings about you. We broke up one time. Do you remember when we broke up? And I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to die because I just could not imagine my life without you.
And I came and sat back with you in the cafeteria the next day, and you didn't know what to say.
Nope. I told you I was going to pack my stuff up and go home and go to another college because I didn't want to be at that college if we were not going to be together. Because I loved you, so I couldn't. You were irresistible.
And it wasn't cognitive. It wasn't. We had to work our way through it. It wasn't. You know the stuff about compatibility that comes later. But there was.
But romantic love, it was amazing. Creates feelings. Romantic love creates feelings. Agape. Love has nothing to do with feelings.
Let me say this. Love is not a feeling, but love. True love creates feelings.
Yes.
I think that's a good way to put it. Talk about the four kinds of love. Do you have that written down? I think I can do it off the top of my head. Number one. Yeah. Let me. Let me. For those of y' all who don't know, the New Testament was translated from Greek. And we. We have some deficiencies in when we read our language, because when the Bible says, like, the word love, the Greeks had four or five words for the word love. We have one. So we take one word to say we love our cat, we love our husband. French fries, we love ice cream. We love pizza. And that's very deficient because that does not define my relationship with pizza. And my relationship with pizza is much different than my relationship with my wife.
I would hope so.
There's no definition there. The Greeks had definition. So when you read your Bible and you see the word love in the New Testament, it was one of four different Greek words. You have eros, which is what we get our derivative in the English word erotic, which has to do with sexual love. It is what it is. You know, Christians, you don't need to cover your eyes and ears right now. God invented sexual love, not Hugh Hefner, not anybody else. God did. So this erotic love basically had to do with family type love, blood kin, phileo, had to do with brotherly love, friendship. And then agape was the love of God, which is unconditional and has no strings attached. And that's what everybody has to be touched by, hope to be healed. When you say, you know you need to get your healing, you know you need to get healed from these issues. What that you're basically talking about is experiences with God where his unconditional love touches every hurt, touches every deficiency, every hole on the inside of you, every longing that you have.
It loves you because of who you are, regardless of what you do or don't do.
Because perfect love casts out all fear. God's love is perfect.
Yes.
So when he comes, all those anxieties of life, of value, Am I good enough? Yeah, all that stuff, Am I worthy? It dissipates, right? Because I've been touched by something eternal, unchanging, no matter what, on your best day and on your good day. So those are the four types of love. So whenever you read the word love, one of them is in there. Now, agape love is what you're entering into. I got a cough drop again in marriage, but Eros and Phileo and Stracheo should be a part of it.
Yes.
You're now family. You are now my very best friend. And I desire you sexually, physically and every other way. Because this is all a part of, of the feelings that agape has produced. But here's the way I like to talk about it. Agape is a covenant that produces feelings. When you lose the feelings, hang on to the covenant.
Yeah, but you can get the feelings back if you do the proper things.
You hang on to the covenant until the feeling returns.
But there are things you can do, you can follow. You don't just sit and wait for the feelings to return.
But here's the thing you don't fall out of. You can fall out of feelings, but you're not supposed to fall out of covenant.
No, never. But if you don't have the feelings, this is the bottom line and it will happen because most of those are chemical related endorphins being released. It's been proven that when you meet somebody for the first time, whether it's a men or somebody you are falling in love with, you get these dopamine Pleasure sensors.
Pleasure sensors.
But they wear out. But you can strike them and fire them again. There are things. For instance, when we started dating. Ron Carpenter is the craziest Gamecock fan I know, and he loves to go to the Gamecock games. I was. I'm a girl. I didn't like to go to football games. I had. I still. There's nothing enjoyable really, for. I go for him, but that's the whole point. He wanted to go. I didn't want to go, but on purpose. I said yes because I wanted to sow into him. I wanted to do the things he wanted to do. There are things that Rodney did for me.
Opera.
Yes. He's not an operatic music major.
She's a music major.
He doesn't like the arts. That kind of stuff.
Oh, I'm very artsy. You can tell by my shirt. Oh, God, my shirt is giving away my artsy.
You are not artsy. But he would go for me. We did things on purpose to show the other person how much we did.
I wanted to, because it wasn't about the opera. And I'm. You know, we're not trying to be super mushy, because this is the way we're talking, is the way we live. I did it because I want to be with you.
Yes.
So if you were there, what we were doing didn't really matter.
But when people get married, they stop.
Doing those things because life happens.
That is the key. They stop doing those things. They're like, I'm tired. I worked all week. I've been up with the kid all night. We don't have enough money.
And all that's legit.
It is legit.
Legit.
But you have to be intentional to continue to do those things.
I think when you're dating, it happens more naturally.
Yes.
And then when life happens in marriage and you have all these demands on you, it has to be intentional. And people think when it's intentional, it don't feel natural. Does that make sense?
Yeah.
In other words, I got to do this to keep it. Whereas when we were dating, it just happened. But when you start getting two and three kids like we did, when you're the senior pastor of trying to start up a ministry, when you got all these dynamic, we're trying to pay bills, we're trying to build a life. The fact is, what me and you could do after our classes were over at 2 o' clock in college, that's just not reality anymore. So we had to intentionalize it. For instance, we've never been more busy in our life.
Never.
Really not close. And we've always been busy. People have always looked at our life and shook their head and we're busier than we've ever been. What did we do this morning? We sat for a solid hour, hour and a half.
We talked and I put my feet in your lap and you rubbed my feet.
We sat there on a little love couch that we have at the end of our bed. Non sexual nothing. We just talked, drank. I played with your hair. I rubbed your feet. You made me a pot of coffee. When you finished yours, I went and got you another cup. It wasn't like got. I gotta go freaking get her some coffee. It wasn't like that. It's almost like this for me. If I get her another cup of coffee, I get to talk to her. Ten more minutes. Oh, do you see what I'm talking about? And that took work. We've been to hell and back.
Yeah. We've learned what it takes.
We've learned what it takes to keep.
A marriage for us.
And we had a time where feelings went bankrupt. Yeah, you had a time where, you know, your feelings for me struggled and. And then I had a time once everything fell out where I just, like, you know what? And we had to believe that feelings could return. And when we worked at it, we found out they did. And so everybody who says, I've fallen out of love.
No, you stopped doing what you were supposed to do to stay in love.
If you move with those emotions. I'm not downing anybody. I mean, I know many people that are very happily married in a second or third marriage. Praise the Lord for that. But if you are moved in your marriage strictly by the way you feel, you're going to get married a hundred times.
Right?
There's just. No. There is no marriage that can keep you in a consistent high.
We're going to come back to this, but we got to say thank you to our sponsor, one of our newest.
These are some of our newest ones. Yeah, we're excited about them.
Love, love, love them so much. Bowl and branch. The best night's sleep. Eber, are you enjoying our new sheets?
I hate bad sheets.
I hate bad sheets.
I'm not bougie either, but I'm gonna tell you, if you've ever slept on good sheets, bad ones are miserable.
They just come up on the edge.
I hate that. But these guys right here are amazing. Now, I'm gonna get out of the way and let you talk about that. Yes.
But guess what? Christmas is right around the corner. And I'M so excited about it because I love Christmas. But listen, do you ever have those people on your Christmas list that you just cannot figure out what to buy? Well, we have the perfect, perfect gift for you. Who doesn't want a great night's sleep?
Nobody wants.
Bull and Branch makes the softest, highest quality bedding that is 100% organic cotton. It is the gift that you can never go wrong with. You know, we travel so much, we're on the go all the time and sleep is so important to us. We even take our pillow where we go.
Don't tell nobody at my sister.
I know we're getting old, but these sheets are the softest sheets. They even get softer over time. The more you use them, the more you wash them. I'm telling you, I love my crisp white sheets. But they also have so many other colors to choose from. And you can get a 30 night worry free guarantee. Guys, these sheets come wrapped, they're in a box. They have a beautiful bow. So get your friends some sheets for Christmas. This Black Friday, give the gift of a better night's sleep. With bowl and branch. Get 25% off your first set of sheets.
Okay, promo code.
That's huge. And free shipping when you use the promo code. Ronandho free shipping bolandbranch.com. that's Boland Branch. B O L L a n d branch.com. promo code ronandhope. Come on. The offer ends November 2027.
Do they make yoga pants, Ron? Just sheets.
Just soft sheets. That's about as good as yoga pants.
You know what? We've talked a lot longer than I thought. I thought we were kind of in the front of it.
I don't know, baby. We just talking.
I got some. I got. You know what we've been talking. Naturally. I wanted to let people into the window. A little bit of our marriage though, and how we do. It's not, you know, I'm going to read. I know you got some things jotted down you want to say and I got a scripture that I want to go to that I want you to hang around because I think I'm going to bring some meaning out of it that maybe you haven't heard. But it's the little things.
It is.
It's never big stuff. I had a message I used to preach in the 90s called small things. When you're faithful and little, God will make you ruler over much. And I went through the thing and the Bible says it's the little foxes that spoil the vines. And Bible says it's the flies that destroy the ointment. It's little things. I've never had anybody, hope ever walk in my office and say, well, I'm divorcing him. Why? You know? Cause he won't take me to the Virgin Islands.
He won't buy me diamonds.
Look.
He won't buy me anything else.
I've been doing this 31 and a half years. Never has that happened. No, it's never been about stuff.
No, it's always. He doesn't talk to me.
He don't hold my hand anymore. Yeah, he don't talk. We don't spend time.
We don't spend time. Yep. He doesn't listen.
It's that stuff. And people think that marriage is all these outer things, but it's attention and it's a gesture and it's simple service to one another. It's an open door. It's a reach over and grab a hand. It's the littlest things.
It's compliment. The yoga pants.
It is. When they've gotten the yoga pants on.
You got to notice, and they've gained 25 pounds, you just tell them much better.
That makes yoga pants.
That's why they were created.
Yes, yes.
For the bogs.
Yes, that's right.
What is a bog? It's a big old woman of God.
Well, we need. We need. We need yoga pants for them, too.
Yes.
And so I'm just going to tell you. It's, it's.
But not everybody should wear yoga pants. Let's just keep trying to be spiritual.
And you keep going back to the okay to attire.
Okay, go ahead. It's the small things. It's the little things, the daily things. It really is, you know, we talk about in our marriage conference, Ron, and especially one session that I do about a love bank. It keeps records. It's just like a bank.
I mean, it's an atm.
Yeah, it is.
You.
You cannot keep taking, taking, taking, Never put anything in. And it's the same way in marriage. You cannot expect the other one to always have the house clean and have you dinner on the table and. And be beautiful and smell good all the time. But then, husband, you never do anything for her. You never help her. You never pick up your underwear and you never put the seat down on the toilet, and you don't take her out and you don't compliment her.
You.
It's a love bank, and it has to be mutually deposited for the tank to be full. That's what we're talking about. That your. Your love and your emotions are Full for the other person. And if you are willing to keep depositing on a regular basis, you will keep their love tank full.
Wives, submit to your husbands. That's the first scripture men learn. They don't even know John 3:16 and they know that one. Okay, the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church and he's savior of the body. Therefore, just as Christ is subject, this church is subject to Christ. Let wives be to their own husbands. It didn't say let women be subject to men.
No, to their own husband.
Said let women be subject to their husbands. Okay, husbands, love your wives. Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her by the washing of the water, by the Word to present her to himself glorious, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she should be holy and without blemish. That's powerful. And I'm going to tell you how that happened in our life. This is the submission chapter. He goes on down, talk about parents and children, employee, employer. He goes all the way down. Husband, wife, everything. And submission is there for function. Everything has to have a function and for functionality in the home. God has made the man the priest of the family. And it should be the vision caster and execution and help mate. And everything should come from that dynamic. He who does not provide for his household is worse than an infidel. That does not mean he who does not have a job. It means he who does not vied. That word vied is the root of vision. He who does not have a vision for his household is worse than an infidel. The word infidel means one ruled by the senses. So one who does not have, doesn't see a picture of a future is dominated by right now and his family will never get out of it. Okay, now having gone, that says, wives, submit to your husbands. Now, husbands learned that first, but let's keep reading. Husbands, love your wives. So this scripture, hope somewhat assumes. I know modern day feminism don't like this, but the Bible says to love her as the weaker, honor her as the weaker vessel. Understanding that there's fragility to a woman. And what this chapter assumes is that it's very possible that a woman enter your life with broken places. And God has put the burden on me, on me to not despise you, leave you or run from you when those broken places are revealed, but to take responsibility, to take the word and put you back together, build you back up, turn you around Remove the shame, remove the guilt, remove the condemnation.
That's head shit.
And let your true self shine who you are in Christ Jesus as the man. It's not the churches, it's not a counselor's. That was my responsibility when your life fell apart and came to your worst day. And that was when our restoration turned around, is when God gave me a revelation of this scripture. Because you remember that time God spoke to me and said, she's broken. And I thought I could trust you. And when God told me that, I started weeping because I felt so convicted because I had attacked you instead of healed you. A man that will take a woman and all of her realness, all of her broken places, all of her experiences that may have harmed her up until that time, and word her back to life and present her to himself. Spotless, beautiful, holy, without blemish. That man is easy to submit to.
Yes, he is. And that is the man who has a vision for his house.
Exactly right.
He's not ruled by his senses. He doesn't get swayed by what's going on. He has a vision. And no matter what's going on in the house, he puts points the family toward the vision.
God's name is Abba. The word Abba means source, sustainer. Adam was called Ab, which also means source and sustainer. We're sitting in a building now that seats about 4,000 people. There are beams all over this building holding up crawl spaces in the top.
And you can't see it.
I mean, speakers hanging everywhere. And nobody ever has come into this building and said, man, them are some beautiful beams because you can't see them. But they sustain the weight of this building.
They carry the weight.
And men, you've got to understand, God has called you sometimes to thanklessness, jobs where it's not going to be. It's not going to be thanked. It's not going to be realized. But in other words, when you have, you're the source of which the family and the kids and everything has come out of. But at the same time, you turn around and sustain what you created. Okay? Sustain means the stuff in a building that nobody sees and nobody thinks is pretty.
Now, Lord, I'm about to send you an offering.
But that. Let me tell you what those beams say, Ron Carpenter. Nobody's going to hurt you today. And nothing's going to fall on you today because I got you.
Ooh.
And whether you thank me or whether you thank me or not, I've got you. And so that's I'm to the family in the marriage conference. I'm hard on the men because the fact is, whatever's happening, I think God holds the man responsible. When my kids started falling off, I didn't say, you need to go get him, Hope. I was there 2:15 in the morning when his car flipped over on its side. I showed up. Not because I'm a great dad, because I looked at it as.
Because you had a vision for our house.
God is holding me responsible for this household and above all things. I did not want my house to fall apart. And I just feel like I need to encourage somebody right now. Men, it's going to be thankless. It's going to be tough. But I'm going to tell you something. God wouldn't have put you there if you couldn't hold the weight. Those beams were put there because they can hold the weight. And if you're there with that family, I don't care what's happening to it. I feel the Holy Ghost. You can hold the weight of what's going on.
Yes.
But I wanted to say something.
You're anointed for it.
Well, let me get back to what you talking about. The little things.
Yes.
So 5:22 is where this starts. And you can see this page is all marked up in my Bible, but 21 is not in the heading because the translators have taken chapters and verses and put them in topical form. But if you go back to verse 21 says, submitting to one another in the fear of God. That's the ticket.
Yes, it is. Mutual submission.
He goes down. Wives, husband, husbands, wives. But before he says that, Submitting to one another. To one another. Now.
Preferring one another.
Okay, let me tell you what submitting to one another is. Me and my wife are almost. Almost empty nesters. Our son went to college for a while. He's back living with us, but he's got his career going now. He does have a girlfriend I know at some time or another. And he's hardly ever even there, so it's almost like empty nest. You came home from a very long, tiring trip. You were at one conference for four days. We don't hardly do that anymore. The night you came home, I said, baby, where do you want me to go? You said, I don't. I'm cooking for you. Did you feel like cooking for me?
No. But I knew I'd been gone for seven days.
You've been gone for seven days? And whose food do I love more than anybody's right now? I'm gonna tell you something. She's an amazing Southern cook, but she don't like to cook. She cooked two, three squares a day for our kids and our family for years. She entertained guests. And now winter season in our life, you know, she don't feel like cooking, so I don't really ask her to, but she knows I love it. She came right. That was mutual. That was a submission. It wasn't I want to cook. It was, I want to bless my husband.
Yeah. Because I knew you'd been going out to eat for seven days.
So when I'm sitting there and I'm going, oh, I love my wife's cooking. When I'm doing that, I'm hearing in my ear, I love you, Ron. I love you, Ron. Because you didn't complain. No, baby, I'm going to cook for you. And I got home and that stuff was cooked. Where do you hear, I love you? When I step into your world, you'll.
Say, I'm going to go run you a bath. I want you to go take you a long bath and got your pajamas. And you'll say, I got your pajamas laid out by the bed. Put on the pajamas. Yeah. And you'll say, go on to bed. That I hear. I love you. Because you know, I love that. I love to take a long bath and go to bed early. Yeah. I love that. It's simple.
I cut the lights off and I close the door. And that ain't what I want to do. Because I want.
You want me to sit up with you and talk.
I want to watch a movie with me, watch some TV with me. So when I do that, it's not really what I want, but I know it's what you want, right? Okay. That's submitting one to another. We're both kind of touchy. We both enjoy touch, but I mean, it's riding down the road and the hand comes over and just grabs my hand. You don't say nothing. It's not just a touch. I'm right here.
You know, I remember when we had kids in the house and we had three of them going to three different schools. You remember that? And it took like an hour and a half, almost two hours to get them all to school. And you know that I like to sleep more than you like to sleep. So Ron would say, I'm just gonna get up and take care of the kids today. You stay in the bed. Didn't happen every day.
No. There were days where you're supposed to do it. And sometime I would do it for you.
That was huge for me that you would just Say you stay in the bed. I'm going to take the kids to school today.
That's mutual submission. That's submitting one to another. When men. When you go out and come home and desire to be served, you come.
Home and say, my job's over.
Yeah. And, you know, you get into recliner and she's doing homework. She's worked all day. She hadn't even had a chance to change her clothes, put on her bedroom shoes yet. She's getting dinner on the table.
Homework's going okay.
She's already cleaned up two messes that they've spilled. She had to run the kids from the other house back home and tell them it's time to leave. So she cooks. Then you go back, sit in your chair, and she does the dishes. And then she gets the kids bathed. And then she finally, about 9:30, quarter 10, ends up in the bathtub. And you've been sitting in that chair ever since you got home, but you smell Dove soap.
Oh, Lord.
And when you smell that Dove soap, you just wake up and you start following that Dove soap to wherever it.
Leads you like a dog.
And. And you come back in there and you find that she has Dove soaked up, had her bath. She's already gone to bed.
You think it's your turn again.
You jump into bed and start rubbing in strategic places. And, you know, and then she looks over and says, you touch me again, I'm gonna. I'll gut you like a pig.
I'm gonna kill you. You know, you might die tonight.
Why? Because she hasn't heard I love you one time?
No, she hasn't heard it all day.
Not at all. Okay, because you never stepped into her world, but when night comes, you want her to speak your language. And by the way, it is their language, but it ain't their language. Like it's our language. Okay, so you want her to speak your language, but you hadn't spoken hers all day. That's what I'm talking about. Mutual submission. Because I'm going to tell you, if you said, baby dog, thank you for doing the dishes. I got the kids. I'm going to give all three of them a bath, and I'm going to do the prayers and I'm going to get them all in bed. Don't worry about it. After dishes, you just go take you a long bath. Ah, that changes everything. That changes everything. Why? Because I stepped over in what traditionally may have been something that she would do, and I did it for her.
But you got to know what says love to the other person, like Ron's, is words. He loves for me to say things to him, like how wonderful he is, and I love his lumberjack shirt and how cute his little alfalfa hair is.
I didn't say make fun of me when I said love me.
But he likes words. But he also likes physical touch. That's his love language. Mine's totally different. So he has to sow into my love tank the way I hear it. I have to sow into his love tank the way he hears it, because if you don't do that, it's still selfish.
Hope love. And I do, too. And here's the Sometimes we have commonalities. It ain't really so. Hope loves a gift, and Hope loves, like a new experience. Hope loves a new restaurant. So she cooked yesterday again, man.
I am.
Yeah, she did.
You better. You talian.
And so l I got up this morning, I said, baby, anywhere you want to go. And you started looking through your phone, and you were trying to see if new restaurants were opened up that you were looking for and everything. And that excited you. You liked that. And when this day is over, we're going to go out somewhere and eat tonight. Now, it ain't that I don't like to go out and eat, but you love that. And so you've been sowing in my world. I turn around, sowing in your world, and you looked at me and said, well, that restaurant's expensive. I want to go there. And I told you, I'm like, it don't matter.
I know. I said, I don't want to pay that much money.
And then you told me, well, Chaz and his girlfriend might be going. I'm like, well, let's go somewhere cheaper. Yes, you did.
Yes, you did. You said, I'm trying to sew into her. I'm trying to sew into them.
He told my my son his girlfriend might be going, like, let's bring it on down a little bit.
Do you have me a gift, too?
You never know.
Oh, never know.
We got to close it out. I know we've been going on top, but I intentionality for your spouse to hear I love you in their language. We talk tons about this in our marriage conference. I hate to turn it into a promo, but I'm going to tell you, our marriage conference is great.
It is the bomb diggity.
It's great. It's probably one of the most enjoyable things that we do, and we've seen so much fruit come from it.
And if you've enjoyed this today, or if you've got some deficiencies in your marriage and you say, you know, we've just hit a spot where, you know, it's not alive anymore. We are just tolerating marriage. We are not celebrating it. You need to come to the marriage conference. It's in February at the beautiful Monterey, California.
It is beautiful. It really is.
There's a link below. If you're not watching this but listening, go to Ron Carpenter. All the information is there.
Redemption, too. Can't. My redemption. My redemption.
Cc yes, it's called help. I'm married.
Any last. Any last statement you want to make?
No, I just. I just have a heart for marriages, Ron. I know what it feels like to be in a good one. I know what it feels like to be struggling, and I sure would rather be in the good one like we have now. And there are just some practical things people can do. Just some minor tweaks, some shifts, if you're willing to do it, that can make all the difference in the world it has.
You have to take on the intentionality of sustaining what makes your spouse feel special.
That's right.
Because when you don't feel valued anymore, it's not going to go anywhere good.
Nope.
It's just not. Man. We love you guys. I hope this has helped. Sometimes we just want to be funny. Sometimes we want to make you laugh. But we want to throw some information out there that's beneficial to you. Also, we really enjoy this podcast in our community. Tell somebody about it, like it, share.
It, subscribe to our YouTube channels. Got so much information for you. Till next time, it's Ron and hope. Unfiltered Blessings.
More from Hope

How Do I Balance Marriage and Kids? With guest Chaz Carpenter | Ron + Hope: Unfiltered









