Ron + Hope: Unfiltered: My Advice To Me

Foreign. Hello, everybody. It's Ron and Hope. Unfiltered.

You got coffee in yours?

No water. Real raw. Relevant, Ron. I was in Cincinnati this past weekend.

Preaching, and I'm chewing the cough drop.

Y' all here, all these girls, young girls came up to me and just loving this podcast. And you know what they said? They loved what they're like. I love how you call Pastor Ron out on all his words. He can't say I said, but he swears he said it right.

Have you not told them the depth of my vocabulary?

Quit chewing that.

I'm trying to get rid of it real quick because before the guy said slapsticks, I wasn't able to get downtown. Now I'm about done.

Okay? Jeez.

I've been talking all day. I just needed a cough drop.

You just took a shower.

I needed that shower. I needed all y' all to get out of my place.

I've been working all day. You just took a shower.

I working so hard. I didn't get too much shower.

Oh, my gosh, here we go.

That's the way it is. And we got some people right here on the set that are newlyweds.

I know.

You know what?

And that's what we're going to talk about today, kind of.

Let me tell you guys something, okay? There's something me and Hope do on purpose. This is totally unscripted, because I know sometimes I bet they probably typed in some notes. There's been some times where Hope had a topic, and I'm like, oh, and I might pop in two or three bullet points that I want to talk about. But then we come in here. These things are unscripted sometime, right down to the moment where we get ready to talk. So. And we want it that way. We've designed it that way. Because we don't want a canned conversation. You tend to get more of our heart than our head when you get us like this. So here's what we talked about. We were in here congratulating one of the members of a couple, Morgan and Kevin, both of them on staff, who just recently been married, just got back to honeymoon. And then I looked at Hope. I said, at Vaish, the 54 year old. She's 54, right? No, I'm not 55 in January.

I'm 55 now.

I was trying to help you by a year.

No, but I thought you were just not knowing my age.

I was trying to help you by a year, but you blew that. So we're rolling on. She's the same age as me. She's 55. So what? The 55 year old hope would go back and tell the 18, 19, 20 year old hope who's about to get married.

Ooh.

What would you go back and tell her? I would say, this is one of the ones. Probably wish we had a little bit of time to think.

Be very afraid.

That was so good to you. First of all, we need to let people know how much you wanted to rush it.

Oh, my gosh, I did. I begged you to marry me when we were in Bible school. I was like, let's just run. Let's just run over to.

You want to tell them how it really worked? You would. You would ask me that when you were kissing me.

Yeah.

So you'd always want to go out. We met at 10 o' clock at night because I had to study. Hope didn't have much studying to do.

Because I was smart.

Hope didn't have much study. She was a voice major and she sung a lot, so she didn't have to go to library and all that. I was in divinity.

Right now, for some reason, I just.

Want to punch you right in the throat. Yes, like this.

No, I just want to like.

No, you need to like that. Right into Adam's apple.

I don't know, it's just. I just want to like they said.

On stepbrothers, that guy told him, said, I don't know. Right now I just want to hit you in your face. Anyway, you made me lose my.

You were in divinity.

We were in divinity school. Really? I had to study a lot. Hope, this world is different. The music world is different. Mine, those guys, those theology classes and Greek classes were awful. So 10 o' clock at night was our time. We did go to a Christian school that did have a curfew during the week. Weekends were pretty loose week, time to head.

So we had about 45 minutes to make out.

So hope at 10 o', clock, she'd get in my car. She always wanted a push up. Do y' all know what a push up is? Do y' all know what a push up is?

It's those orange sickles.

Okay. I had to go by the gas station at 10 o' clock at night. I had to get her a push up. And then there was a river down there and Hope always wanted to go in there. And we sit by the river and we would. I would try to talk and have meaningful conversation.

That's right. That's what you did.

Okay. But no makeout queen here wanted to just kiss all the time right up until the time we would go to curfew. Then I would walk her to the door of her dorm. And the lady who was over the dorm, Hope would try to sneak in one more kiss. And it would always get me in trouble. She would let Hope go in the door and then she would stand there and make me stand there. And she would fuss at me for kissing right in front of her when she didn't want that to happen. So this is what we were dealing with as we were dating. And we dated three and somewhat years.

Okay, four schools.

There were several. Let's be serious for a minute. There were several occasions where you pressed to get married. It wasn't like every night, but I.

Said I didn't understand why we couldn't.

Three or four still don't. Probably three or four times. Were you really pushed for it? I mean, it was a major. Wasn't a point of contention, but it was a major conversation.

I didn't understand why you didn't want to marry.

I did want to marry you. I wanted to marry you terribly. And the Bible says it's better to marry than to burn. And I was burning up. So, I mean, that was awful. Because you want to be holy, you want to be true. You want to be true to your calling and all that stuff. You just carry it.

So there comes a point where you got to be true to your calling.

No, I was trying to be true to everything. But it was tough during them times. I was really in love. You were really in love too. But we were in Bible school and we both knew that we were going into the ministry. So can we just be honest? I mean, that was borderline torture.

Yep.

Cause we were trying to, you know, physically keep ourselves chaste but pure. But at the same time, you know. You know, you're 20 years old, you're 21 years old, you're 19 years old.

You're attracted to one another.

You're extremely attracted. You're head over heels in love. And I'm just tell you it was tough. You know, think all about me and tell me how disappointed you are in me and all this and that and other. But it was just tough.

It's tough for everybody. It's a natural.

There were times we looked back and we probably crossed lines, but we didn't ever. We didn't ever have sex. And that's one thing. I'm proud that somehow or another for three years we were able to cross that line. Having said that, when we got married, were you maybe you were 21. I keep thinking about 21.

You were about to be 22.

I was about to be 22. So we got married in June 23rd. I'm gonna be 22 on July 8th. So I was just about to be. So we were both 21 at the time. On the west coast, we've noticed people get married much later in life, much later. They usually come and start their career, and once they feel like they've got their career at least somewhat moving in the direction they want, they tend to circle back and look at developing relationships and a family and then on. But back in the Southeast, when you found the one, you got married.

Yeah, we were groomed to get married.

I mean, you got married and so you probably did not, at least in the rural parts of where we were born. Mean, you both were raised very rural people, weren't career minded. They were get married, family minded, get married family minded. And so, you know, I'm just, I'm building some context before we just start throwing out what we're going to say about what we would tell our younger unmarried self. I. When I met you, I got to college a year before you, and I got saved a few months before you got there. And I remember I wanted to date some Christian girls because I had never really dated a Christian girl. Dated some good girls, but I never, like, went to church with a girl or anything like that. And had some.

That wasn't the foundation of your relationship.

Yes. And so I went through, you know, just some real short dating experiences. One or two of them were very unpleasant. That was a little bit disillusioning when you find out some of them were no different than the other. And so because I had this thing in my head, this is going to be a lot different. The fact is, I had just about said, you know what? I need to grow with God. I'm good, I can be alone. I was usually the kind of guy that had a girlfriend, but I had. I was. You remember me? I was really serious about my relationship with God. I was extremely serious. And so I said, you know what? Just. And then I met you. And it's amazing, a lot of times when people say, okay, I'm just going to chase God, that's when the other one will come. And that's where I was. And then I met you. I've told people this, they could probably quote it. I was real scared of you. I'd never been scared of any girl. I was real scared of you because I knew you were different. I knew that if I started dating you, I had this real feeling that you'd probably be the last person I ever dated. And at 19. Ish. That was scary. That was scary. But I knew. Now, I don't put words in your mouth because we cut up about this all the time. You said you knew pretty quick.

You know I did.

Yeah. Tell them what you said. You went back to school. This is before.

No, this is before we date. We started school before we started dating. I was a senior. I went to Emmanuel for a visitation weekend in February of 1987. And you were there. You were a freshman. And I saw you playing basketball and we met and talked and I drove your car. That's when I met you. Your ex girlfriend coming across the road, blah, blah, blah. You were supposed to call me. You didn't. All that.

Me and that girl broke up immediately.

So I went home that weekend and told my mom. I said, mama, I think I found.

You'Re still a senior in high school. Yeah.

I said, I think I found a guy that I think I could marry. And she said, what? I mean, like, you know, you're crazy, but it was something that, like, came alive on the inside of me. When I met you, it was like everything that I ever wanted. I checked all my life.

A thousand talks. Okay. I'm okay. Your older self talking to your younger self. What made you know that? I don't want. You know. Just don't say Holy Ghost.

No, it wasn't. It was.

What? What was it that checked the box? What were the boxes?

It was like everything inside of me came alive. It's like, yes. I love how he looks. I love his personality. I love where he's going in life. It was like, you love my. No, you didn't have any.

I was working three jobs.

We were teenage. We were 18 years old. We didn't have any money. We didn't care about money.

Money was never a topic.

But see, isn't that cool, though?

We never talked about money one time.

And a lot of married people, till.

They get all their money straight.

Yeah, they won't get married till their money's right. And we were like, living a life.

I don't remember us ever mentioning money.

No. We said yes to each other because we knew that's what God wanted for our life.

We said yes to each other and we said yes to God. And money was never the equation. No, we never.

We had no money. We started out in faith, in our ministry, in our marriage, all of it.

Okay, now, all right. I've heard you say this. I've heard you say this. I think in your book, I've heard you say this when you were being interviewed. So I'm going to do. I'll ask you the first question. You ask me your first question. You said you thought you had some traumatizing events that you didn't disclose because, you know, you were scared and ashamed that that might mean rejection, I might run away. And so you said, I thought if I could marry him, all that stuff would go away. And it didn't. So what would you tell your younger self?

Advice giving my younger self. Well, I have to back up to you have to give context to this because I don't know how I would advise my younger self because my younger self had no concept to understand what the inner healing and the depth that trauma, early age trauma, the lasting effects of it in your life. So I guess my advice to my younger self would be, hey, Hope, you've been through a lot. There's been a lot of traumatic things that have happened in your life. This is going to affect your future. You need to go seek out how to get help. You need to get counseling. You need to delve into your pain, your hurt, your trauma so that you're not taking that into your relationships in your future.

So were you somehow, did you ever, in your mind, you know, you said you had these hurts, you said you had this anxiety, you had this quake on the inside of you in your time with me, would it kind of go away? And then you thought, well, if I get married, it'll always go away. Because when you were with me there was a peace.

Yes, there was.

So in your mind, you're 18, 19 year old mind. And when I'm with him, those ugly things seem to go away. So if I were to marry him, I won't have to deal with them anymore. Am I close?

I don't think it's. If I marry him, those things, when I marry him, all of that will be taken care of. Because I just thought, and I've said this before by changing my address and my last name, everything would be fine. Had no idea that I was bringing this. You know, it was in my DNA, it was in my brain structure, it was in the chemicals, it was the way my adrenal glands fired. It was how I responded to stress, how I responded to confrontation. I had no idea. Now looking back now I have these glimpses. Like when we were in the cafeteria and you were poking fun at me, at some just being funny. I'm joking and. But it embarrassed me and my reaction to you was very angry and so that was a glimpse. But you took me off and talked to me and told me it could never happen again.

I loved you.

But you told me.

It sounds like really rough. It wasn't like that.

No. You told me, you said, hope I love you.

I reached across, grabbed your hands. I told you I was in love with you.

You said, but to go further in this relationship, that can't happen anymore. Well, so that's called behavior. That's called behavior modification. I just tried to stop doing those things, but those feelings were still on the inside.

So your advice to your younger self would, before you join, try to have some level of wholeness.

Yes.

And I think we say that to singles a lot.

And I mean that's a lifelong process.

Yeah. Try to get as much of yourself together as you can before you look across and say, I give myself to you.

Yeah. And of course that's not a one and done thing. That's a lifelong process.

It's a journey. Okay.

Your turn of uncovering. Okay, Ron, what would you say, by the way?

Do we need to stop?

What would you say to your 21 year old self, knowing what you know today, before getting, getting married.

Now baby, me and you're a little bit different. You had some real hurts coming out of the family and raising and deficiencies on the inside of you that caused you major, major breakdowns. I was so happy.

So I guess you would say have five jobs instead of three.

No, I, I just was so happy. I was so in love with you. I know that makes people want to gag with a spoon, but that just overrides. It overrode all the stuff we didn't have. And I look back on it, we were pitiful. We really were. We were pitiful. The church we were trying to start was pitiful. Where we lived was pitiful. What we drove was pitiful. Praying for somebody to ask us out to eat, that was pitiful. And I don't know how much that bothered you. You seem to roll with it. I would probably have put more emphasis on making sure that there's more structure for you in my life because I've realized now the importance of security inside a woman. And although you rolled with me and I think you are deeply in love with me, the lack of stability in our life had to affect you. It had to have affected you. So I would probably say I need to build a little more before I bring her into something. The second thing I would do is I would go back and tell my younger Ron, don't expect her to keep pace with You, I think there was a time, I think especially in our late 20s to early 30s, where I was a ministry holic and there was a great amount of stress that I almost think I enjoyed. I thrived on it. Almost like a drug. Yeah, I thrived on it a little bit. And I didn't know how it was damaging you because if I may reveal this, that was the way your home was and that's what you didn't want no more of. You wanted peace. I was always fighting with denominations, I was fighting tradition, with ideas, fighting racism. I was fighting. I was just a fighter. I was a lone ranger fighter and I needed peace. Yes. And the stress of that and how understanding that what I was graced for you might not necessarily be graced for and sometimes protecting you from it instead of inviting you into it. I think I would go back and Those would be two major conversations I would have with the 20 year old version of Ron.

And I think along that same line. And you've gotten better over the last few years. It's the sleep aspect. You wanted me no matter what. If you were awake, you wanted me to be awake and be with you. It was like you didn't understand why. You were like.

I took it personal. I took it personal. I'm like, dude, if I worked all day and you were still going to school and doing piano lessons and. Yeah, and so I worked all day and you worked all day too. You had your stuff you were doing and my thing was like, you know, I ain't been home but an hour. I want to be with you. It wasn't that I was trying to harm your piece of life, take away your sleep or make you sick. That wasn't my desire. I wanted to be with you.

So that was selfish.

Selfish. I wanted to be with you and that was the only time was at night I had to do it. But you know, you staying up till 1 and 2 o', clock, that just ain't Hope.

No, I mean, never has been. My parents always said as a little girl, they said no matter where we were, if we were in a car Sunday night, church Sunday, sitting in the den watching TV, 8 o', clock, 8:15, they'd look over and they'd said Hope was asleep, slumped over in a chair or in somebody's arms or whatever.

I have the healthiest sleep has been a battle I've had to win. People I've been hospitalized over. No sleep in the hospital. That came from my dad. That was a generational curse from my dad. There was a big joke about my dad, that if he'd call you 2:15 in the morning because to my daddy it was supper time.

Yeah. He had no consciousness of time.

No, no. And he had the most horrible sleep habits. And I think when my dad got sick, I think one of the reasons he left us so quickly is I don't think he had the strength to fight because his sleep habits were horrible. And I saw those same things. I could sit in a chair till three o' clock in the morning and drowsiness would never hit me. It would never come. You know, most people sitting there and they can't hold. I got to go to bed. I can't hardly hold my. That I wanted to feel that feeling. I wouldn't feel it. And I'm at the best place now maybe I've ever been in my life with sleep habits because there's probably some.

But that was a huge point of contrast. Something so simple as sleep, that something's supposed to be so natural. It was a huge point of contention for us being all you wanted to.

Do was go to sleep. I was, why don't she want to be with me? So you know, here a point of contention that little bit more wisdom and a little bit more maturity, we would understood this. Here's one. All right, what would 55 year old hope go back to 20 year old hope and say, you think it's going to be like this, but it's really going to be like this.

Hmm. You really want me to go here.

Don'T hurt me too bad. I don't want this to be about me.

20 year old hope getting married thinks the sex is going to be so spontaneous and just so ravenous and ooey gooey and we're just going to want to have sex all the time. And it's just not like that.

Baby, now you got to tell these people that two minutes on our honeymoon night was amazing.

Stop.

And the three minutes the next morning. And the three minutes the next morning. Yeah, I was ready to go out.

And get me a T shirt with.

An S on it that night because you.

Because we had waited to have sex. And so I'm thinking, you know, we've waited in all this time and then life sets in. I mean, life sets in.

You have to plan for sex.

Yes. You really. I tell young couples this and I was doing marriage counseling with my assistant and her fiance and we were talking about this whole issue of sex. I said, I'm going to tell you the most unromantic thing, but you're going to Find out that it's true. I said, me and Ron sometimes will sit down and say, this is going to be a crazy week. I'm going to be traveling here. You're traveling here. We cannot not have time together. Where can we schedule our sex?

Where can we make love?

Yeah. What night are we going to both say? Okay, this is dedicated for this and we're going to plan on it. So neither one of us are frustrated.

We call it a party. What night are we going to party?

Isn't that funny?

That's the way we laugh. I say, all right, what night are we going now? You're leaving Saturday and I'm not going to see you till Wednesday. And then when you get back Wednesday. I leave Thursday morning. So when are we going to party?

Yeah.

And we'll laugh, but then we will sit down.

Yeah.

And put it on the calendar that night. Let's go to this restaurant.

So we already have a set of expectations in our mind and the other person's not let down. We both are on the same page, and that took many years to get to.

I do tell people there have to be times where you allow for the spontaneity. I gotta be honest with you. I think you're a pro at that, but that's rare, honestly, you still make room for that. But if you are, especially what most people are now, if you are a dual income house, especially a dual career house, if you just think it's, it's going to be, you know, right here in the washroom, let's go at it. That's just not realistic.

And then you throw kids, then throw kids on it.

Oh, that's a whole different level, you know, because you.

Do you think this is the way it's going to be? Because this is the way we've been while we've been dating. This is what we've been talking about, what we want. But you know, you throw life on top of that. You know, I wish I had someone to sit and tell me this at 18, 19, 20, 21, when we were about to get married. It would have saved us a lot of arguments. It really.

Another thing as I remember just sitting here while you're talking that. Let's go to the kid thing on that. You talking about how that changes things. And then our first one, it changes.

Every aspect of marriage.

Our first one marriage was a handful anyway because Chase had a motor like none other.

I wonder where he got it.

He got it. Honest.

I don't know. Sit at 3am I'm not sleepy.

He Got it. Honest, I gotta claim that he didn't get that motor from you. He got it from me. So. Hey, the most fun kid in the world.

Oh, he was awesome.

He just didn't ever quit. Yeah. And so he was a real high motor kid. And I remember times where there was, you know, when we would have any kids, it was several times a week. And then we had a kid. I mean sometimes we go, you know, these stretches of time and I remember you'd like called me tonight. I really want us to have some time together. And I remember we didn't call it.

A party back then.

No, we didn't. It's just if we can make any time together, you know, a quickie back then, the quickie.

There's a difference between a quickie and a party.

Yeah, big difference. So I remember times like this is maybe an analogy, I don't remember specific, you know, where finally we get him to bed, finally the dishes were put up, you know, you, you know, you've been up with him since 5:30 in the morning and you wanted to keep that promise to me and maybe like just let me lay down and you laugh a minute and it was like 20 minutes in your sleep. And so what I would tell 20 year old Ron is that ain't personal. Men really take, y' all get offended.

So freaky and easy.

Yes, we do.

Geez.

We take it as you don't want us. Oh my gosh, you don't want us. And I didn't say 55 year old Ron says that. I said 20 year old Ron says, right.

And 30 year old.

Well, the fact is 54, and I would tell 20 year old Ron, she's.

Tired, has nothing to do with you.

It's not personal. Yeah, she's worn out. It's not personal. Listen guys, this is marriage conference material, but I'm going to throw it out for free. In times of stress, a man's sex drive increases. In times of stress, a woman's sex drive disappears.

There's nothing. There's nothing.

And I don't know why God built it that way. I wonder if he's up there in the chair laughing, you know, and he thinks it's funny. I don't know. But the fact is that is true. A man can be highly stressed and be bringing up sex and the woman is in that same stressful environment. She's looking at him like, are you a lunatic? That is the last thing on my mind, right. And so I would go back and tell my younger self that because I would Almost turn into a hunter when I was stressed. Why? Because that act for a man is released.

Release? Yeah. A physical release.

Yeah, I remember. I'll never forget. Cheryl Brady was talking to us at dinner one night after she preached for you. She said, a woman is a man's sedative. I had never heard that. And I'm like, never have truer words been spoken. Because when I am wound tight as a rubber band, there ain't but one person can unwind that and the whole world. And that's you. And so here again, when you are not subject to those times, it's not personal.

Ron, before we end, we got a few more minutes, about five minutes.

Something will come in your mind.

No. What is the best marriage advice you can give? If someone came to you and said, ron Carpenter, if you've got one thing to tell me about marriage, what's the very best marriage advice you could give? Making you think, huh?

I've got two that come to mind.

Okay.

Now, if I thought about it for a whole day, it might be different. But you sprung it on you. I have 20 seconds. Yeah. One of them would be a scripture.

Okay.

And one of them would just be a personal philosophy that I live by.

Okay.

The scripture is. And the kingdom is like a man who found a treasure hidden in a field. And for the joy thereof. I'm going to start crying. He bought the whole. He sold everything he had. Wait a minute. Sold everything he had. Nobody talks about that part. And bought the whole field. The excavation of a lifelong marriage, discovering the good, the gold, the understanding that Jesus said, this is what heaven is like. It's understanding on a daily basis that you've got to remove dirt to find treasure.

It's part of the process.

And you never. I've always said somebody that hunts for gold, gems, precious metals, they have never gone into the mine looking for dirt.

They just knew it was part of it.

Dirt is part of the process. I was naive and didn't know that because I'll be honest with you, you are an amazing wife. But when we were in the dating site, you know me, I was starry eyed and thought you hung the moon. And you pretty much, I think, thought the same. And then the excavation process starts. And I don't know that you were ready for mine. And yours were belated. I didn't know that I was ready for yours. But that is what God almost like throws the warning out there. There is more good in them than you can ever imagine.

The good is. The good is worth way more than the Value of the dirt. But there's a whole lot. Honestly, more dirt.

Oh, my gosh.

Than there is.

I always said you move a ton of dirt to get an ounce of gold.

Yes.

And precious metal hunters know that.

Yeah. It's worth it.

This is what the kingdom is like. Every relationship you have, you will be mining for treasure. And you understand that stuff you don't like is a part of the process. Yes. I would. I would say that's some of the best relationships.

They forfeit the gold because there's dirt.

And we did almost in, you know, 12 years ago, we almost let the dirt cause us to part ways. And I just think to myself, look at all we've experienced together the last 12 years. That I wouldn't take anything in the world for. And we could have never had those experiences. That leads me to my second one. And this bothers people because I've had people challenge me on this. I'm not talking about if you're getting beat. I'm not talking about if you're being a beat, abused. I'm not talking about. Excuse my language. But it's real, right? You got somebody calls you a slut and a whore all day. I'm not talking about that. Generally speaking, divorce is not an option.

You gotta be anything.

Go ahead and send your email. Go ahead and send your email. I know it.

But no, I think everybody would agree with you on that. I think everybody gets married because they want to be married and be married for life.

But it's got to come off the table. A lot of times when there's an intense disagreement, that word time, there's an intense conflict. That word starts coming out, and I don't care. It's a powerful word that puts a seed in the back of the mind of your partner that lets them feel like they're on shaky ground. And if it ever got bad enough, they're walking.

Yeah.

And so that seed can never be sown. There was only one time where those words ever came out of our mouth. And those were some bad times. Other than that, hope that word does not come up. I don't care how bad a day we're having. It's just not an option. And that leads me to some of my other just Ron Carpenter wisdom moments. I hope you know, if quitting is removed as an option, all of your decisions become easier.

Yeah, they are.

And there's people that stay confused all the time because quitting still is on the table to take that one off. I tell when I'm getting ready to do Some intense. Helping people with marriage. Okay, we're removing this one now because as long as that's on the option, I'm wasting my time and yours.

That's right.

And so I get a lot of people like, well, you have no idea what I'm living in. No, I don't.

No, we don't.

I'm just saying, generally speaking, in the ebbs and flows, ups and downs of life, yes, that has got to be removed as an option.

But punch me one time, I'm calling three men in a truck.

Total different.

We gone, adios.

You know, And I've heard some people say that, well, I'm just believing God for my marriage. Well, yeah, he just hit you in the head with a brick.

Yeah, bye.

I'm like, okay, you can believe for your marriage, but you can believe for it in Chicago.

Right?

You know, you get out of that house, you know, so I'm not talking about that because I always have people challenging me. Well, he beats me. I'm not telling you to stay there and be someone's doormat. I'm just saying life is hard. Yeah, life is hard without any extracurricular trauma. Life is hard. And there are people, when life gets hard, that will come out of their mouth. And I'm telling you, it does something in the other person that makes them say, you know what? I might better have a little account that he don't know about. I might better be putting it. Why? Because he's letting me know that's there. She's letting me know that's there. And so I tell people, you know what? For a healthy marriage, that's not an option. That is not the answer to a solution.

Yeah, well, you know, I think it's so good that we're talking about this. And I think it's so important for young couples to find older couples, people who have been married longer than them, to get up under and to ask questions and to learn from and to be mentored through. You know, because the longer you're married, you do learn some things, the more you know. And it's not that we're know it all, but we do have a lot of wisdom to give to people on this marriage journey.

If I had a critique of. If I had a critique of the generation under us, it would be. They don't do that enough. Yeah, they tend to. What I've noticed about the millennials, and we'll see about Gen X, Gen Z, what I've noticed about millennials is they seem to want information from each other.

Yeah.

They seek peer information. They don't go to the next generation who has more life under their belt and seek that generation. I wish I was asked more questions because I feel like we got a lot to say and you only mind that field when you start asking questions.

Well, there's a lot of people who love Ron and Hope Unfiltered and they're getting a lot of real rich information.

Well, it's good. I enjoyed this.

Yeah, it was. Until next time. We love you so much, Ron and Hope Unfiltered.

We'll see you guys.

Raw, relevant.