Ron + Hope: Unfiltered - Our Love Story

Foreign.

Hello, everybody. Here we are again, Ron and Hope. Unfiltered, real, raw.

This is your part.

Relevant. Running up and filtered.

You do ads. You do the entrance. Relevant. You do the exit.

You do the exit and listen. And this episode is brought to you today by BetterHelp. Amazing sponsor. Love them.

We're going to talk about them now.

We just wanted to let them know this episode was brought back to them today.

Thank you. But we appreciate so much you sponsoring this podcast and what we're doing. You want to get fun today? Because you said I preached a little bit too much last time. She wanted to get fun. There's a story that I've told over the years that is. It's the story movies are made of. It's about our engagement. And people been begging me to talk about it. And I'm like, no, I got to find the right forum. I got to find the right place. I'll tell it in church again. But it's probably been eight or 10 years before I've told this story. It is a funny one, but it's one of them ones. People are going to think I'm making it up. They won't believe how bad it was. But anyway, before I jump into the story.

Talk about when we met.

Memorable moments while we were dating. Tell me what.

Let's talk about when we met.

I think we've told them that.

Let's talk about it. You were so cute.

I met you. You didn't meet me.

Had that long mullet, Ron. You had a mullet? Long blonde.

No, no.

Permed mullet.

I had a perm in my mullet. I was next level, so I would keep it wet and pick it.

Oh, my gosh.

That thing would just have spirals down my neck. So when. So whenever, like I was at the beach or something, I get it wet. That all I had to do was just like that.

That was a plan, right?

Yeah, it was a plan.

Did you carry a pick in your pocket?

I probably have one somewhere.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, you can't comb it. You have to pick it. We're dating ourselves. They don't even know what we're talking about. Perms and mullets. They don't even know what we're talking about.

But you were so cute.

But I had it cut back here.

Yeah. Like it is now in a mullet.

And I had a mullet in the back.

Our grandson has a mullet.

He does.

Chandler's little boy, Roland, has a mullet.

He does.

So cute.

I was cute.

Yeah.

So I Had a mullet. Saw you at a concert. Christian concert. Saw you on the floor. The building was packed. You was the only one I saw.

Because my hair was so high.

You had a bleach. Bleach. Cotton candy blonde hair. And you had on a light blue sweater dress with a little bit of cream or beige color striping in it. You had on white hose and you had on heels.

Yeah, I did. Good job.

I remember it very well. I told my roommate, who was sitting beside me in the bleachers. You had a seat somewhere down on the floor. I was sitting up in the bleachers. It was a basketball arena we were sitting in. And I pointed him out. I said, I'm going to go roam around and I'm going to find out who that girl is. I'm going to meet her. And I did. As soon as it was over, I started just walking around from different dorm rooms to different dorm rooms, and I found you and told me a lie. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You can't go to that. You got to go to. You know, I came around.

Oh, got to tell all that when you got down on one knee.

So. I can't.

He was Rico Suave. You hear me? Rico Suave. Got down on one knee.

Very good.

And said, hey, I'm Ron Carpenter. Aren't you Hope healing Now you're laying.

Down on a couch, not feeling good? Actually, no.

I had a fever. And I said, I am. And. And he said, are you coming to Emmanuel next year? And I said, I am now.

And then I said, well, we were running to get some fries and a burger.

You said, would you like me to bring you back? It don't matter. You said, would you like me to bring you back any.

This was a Christian school, and we had a curfew, and the curfew caught me.

Yes.

And I couldn't get back in time.

And I said, just bring me some fries.

And I didn't want her to see me get thrown out.

And so I waited. And he never came.

Lie number one now, the next day.

Yes.

All right. I had a ball game.

Yes.

You came watch me play my basketball game.

Little red cheeks.

Yeah. Because I played basketball my freshman year.

Your cheeks would get red when you'd run.

And I had boxers coming out the bottom of my shirt.

Yeah, we talked about that.

Remember that? I was a trendsetter.

Okay.

Light blue. Like, blue boxers coming out the bottom of my shorts playing basketball. Yes.

So.

And somehow I don't know that somehow that day you found out I had a sports Car. And you asked me, could you drive it? Which.

Cause I knew if I got inside your car, then we could talk and hang out. And I asked you, could I drive it? And you were like, uh, uh, um, no, no. You probably don't know how to drive a stick shift. I'm like, oh, yeah, I do. My car's a stick shift. So he couldn't get out of it. So we get in the car.

But I was nervous about that because I really didn't let nobody drive that car.

So I got in the car. You're in the passenger seat of your car, which I'm sure that felt so awkward to a stranger. And then we're going down the road, laughing, cutting up. This girl.

I don't even know you. I don't even know you.

This girl comes across, this car is coming toward us and is waving. And so of course I'm waving back. Come to find out it was Ron's girlfriend who? Lie number two. He told me he didn't have a girlfriend, but after that episode, he didn't have a girlfriend. Then I left and he said, give me your phone number.

Use in high school.

Yeah, I was a senior. And he said, give me your phone number. I'm going to be home in two weeks and I'll call you and we'll go out. I sat home all weekend, all weekend, waiting on him to call me. Did he ever call me? Lie number three.

I knew that long distance relationships, oh, my goodness, struggle. And I didn't want us to enter anything where we might get hurt.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Okay, well, you should have told me that to start with.

Well, tell them what happened when you came back that year.

Well, because I'd had three lies in a row.

No, nothing about lying.

I moved on.

Nothing about lying.

And so I started dating somebody else. Yes, I did.

No, you didn't.

You didn't move on.

You didn't move on. You didn't move on. You were trying to move on. Mullet got inside of you. Yeah, it did.

It did. So I started dating somebody else that summer. Pretty serious.

So she comes back, she decides to come there. So I'm now going into my sophomore year. She's moving in as a freshman, and I'm an RA that year. So one of my jobs, I have to help people move in. So again, I told my roommate, I said, the girl that came to the visitation weekend, I'm gonna go and see if she's here because I didn't know if you were coming or not. We had not communicated.

Yeah, we haven't.

So I went over there and found you. And I think it was Jackson Hall.

But I remember, listen, telling my mama before I left to go to school, I said, I hope that Ron Carpenter is dating somebody. I said, because if he's not, I'm gonna have to ditch this boy because he's gonna be mine.

Because you had moved on.

I had moved on.

But if you were available, sounds like you had moved on.

You were gonna be mine.

I hope he's dating you. Did not hope I was dating somebody.

I hoped you weren't.

If you'd have got there and I'd.

Have been engaged, oh, I'd have cried.

Well, anyway, I go around the campus looking for her, and I get in there. Now, listen, she ain't even unpacked her clothes.

I'm in the process.

There is a wall, a shrine where she has built a shrine that is due. Where she's got pictures of him and her all over this wall. And I mean, she's sitting there decorating that wall when I walk in. So I don't say a whole lot. I walk in, I see the wall, and I'm like, well, I guess, you know that ain't happening. So anyway.

But I ran after him, and we started talking, and he said, is that your boyfriend? I said, I lied then. I said it was. I said, it's who I dated this summer.

Maybe I wasn't stupid. His pictures were going up all over the wall. So evidently, you must not have any plans with me.

Oh, my goodness.

Ron must not have any plans.

Okay. You didn't have any with me to start with.

I didn't have any pictures of girls.

But you were dating one too, Ryan. Yes, you were.

Quit saying we were friends. We were friends.

Okay. Anyway. Anyway, let's stop and talk about our wonderful. Sounds like we're gonna need some counseling.

A minute. Wait a minute.

Yes.

Wait a minute. I'm not finished.

Oh, okay.

Okay. So you see that? So then the. The flirting starts. I'm thinking, you got this steady. I don't really know what you're thinking, but you do what you said, you start popping up everywhere. So if it's. That's time, I'm scheduled to eat lunch. You would be in the lunch room if I was working out. You would be in the weight room. Wherever I was, you would stop popping up.

Start. Not stop.

You would start popping up. So long and short of it, I said, what meaneth this?

What meaneth this?

What meaneth this?

Is this you? Lord?

So finally I hear again, I Can't remember all the details. It's quite a while back now.

It's a long time ago.

I absolutely lit you up with a first kiss.

Oh, my word.

I lit you up. I mean, I heard you went back to the dorm and fell in the floor.

I did. I did. I was like.

So there's a bunch of people in there.

It was a good.

And you announced everybody.

I was like, ron, kiss me anyway before we need counseling. No, I'm not embarrassed. I'm very proud. Very proud.

I'm very proud.

Yes.

Was it not a good first kiss?

Yes, it was.

It's dung.

Dung.

It was good. You know why it was good?

Tell me.

Because I planned it. You. I had a vision.

Oh, okay.

I had a vision how I wanted to go down. I said, when I kiss this. This girl right here, it'll be sewn pretty much up.

Okay.

And was I right?

Here we are. Here we are. That was 1987.

Do whatever it is got to do because we got to Talk.

That was 1987. And it's 2023.

September of 1987.

It's a long time ago.

Yep. Bon Jovi had just come out with slippery wooden whip.

You were saved, but you were not sanctified.

I was struggling. I had gone to those revivals where I burned up all my old music. And then Bon Jovi came out, and I just wanted to. I am in a quandary, like, God, I need you. I need you. I hated going to revival because I knew God going to make me burn it again. Jesus, Talk about what we need to talk about.

Well, we said at the beginning that this episode was brought to you by Better help. What is better Help? I'm gonna explain it. I think everybody listening to me wants to live their best life and wants to have their best kiss. Right? And wants to be their very best self. Sometimes bad decisions, procrastination, lots of things that keep you from living your true best self. Working with a counselor or a therapist will help you get closer to the best version of you. Sometimes you just gotta have another voice, another set of eyes, another set of ears. So I found the years that I didn't use a counselor or therapist, I really struggled. I struggled with self esteem, completing goals. I started with counseling, really, in 2013. And my life has just taken off. And I can say that I truly am living my very, very, very best life. And if you're thinking about getting counseling, I want you to try BetterHelp. It's convenient, it's flexible, it's affordable, and it's 100% entirely online, so fill out the brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. It's convenient, flexible, affordable, and it's entirely online. Fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist today. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.comronandhope today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E-L-P.com Ron and hope we love better help.

Better help. Thought she's about to spell out better hemp.

Why would you say.

I know. I just looked at it and I was like. And then you said, we don't need that. You said, H, E, P. No, I didn't. I said, what is she spelling right? Little need, we don't need help or hemp. No, we need help.

We need help.

So anyway, grateful for our sponsors. We really are. What was I talking about?

The kiss.

The kiss that rocked the world.

No, it didn't rock the world. It rocked me.

Why did you go back to dorm, fall on the floor?

Because I wanted everybody to know.

You want to make an announcement?

Had kissed me and we were on this path. Back off, girls.

There were no girls. There were no girls.

Do we need to go here?

There were no girls. There was one girl that liked me. I made a choice, didn't I?

Oh, yeah.

Okay. So anyway, we date for a year.

Okay, let's tell them. Let's tell them about that first major argument with the jean jacket.

Okay, I'll let you tell it because I might say it wrong.

Well, we were in the cafeteria and you being your funny little argument at all. Oh, well, it was you being cracked.

A joke or something.

Yeah, you were being your funny little sarcastic self and you tried to embarrass me. And that is. This is the.

No, it was a joke and it embarrassed you.

And this is the unhealed hope. This is the hope who. Oh, I hated to be embarrassed. And he embarrassed me. And I had a blue jean jacket in my hand and I was trying to be like, funny, but I hit him with the jacket. And it had buckle, like buckle metal buttons on it. Buttons. And it smacked him in the face. The metal buttons. And immediately I was like, oh, gosh.

I had to leave.

He got so mad, he had to leave. And then that evening, you came to.

Me and said, I didn't get mad.

You did.

I did not. I didn't do a sad thing.

And then you came to me and said, we need to talk. And you took me to McDonald's. And you said, hope, I really like you.

Was that sweet?

Yep. You said, but if we're gonna. And I wasn't used to that. I wasn't used to a amicable conflict. I was not used to that. I was used to screaming and yelling and consequences. And you said. You said, hope, I really do like you, and I want to further this relationship, but if we're going to go any further, that can never happen again. And I remember I sat there and cried.

Why?

Because it touched me. Number one, it touched me. I'd never been in any interpersonal relationship where you had to deal with conflict, and it was handled like that. That was huge for me. And then secondly, that it was the first realization that I was some. That I was like that. And I. And it hurt me that I came across like that to you. It was so normal and natural for me that I did not even realize how bad it was.

But love understands and it talks and it works. I didn't want to end the relationship.

Patient.

I don't want to end the relationship. And I forget exactly how I say it, but I assured you of my feelings toward you. I don't know if we were using the word love at that point. It was pretty early on.

No.

But I wanted you to know I care deeply about you, but that I'm not a fighter.

No, you're not.

I'm just not. I'm just. I tell people I'm the easiest guy because I don't hit back. I just. I'm not a fighter. Every time I was in fights from sports and stuff, people got me in them. I never looked for it. I didn't like it. I would try to get out of it sometime. I were around people who got me in them, but I just don't like fighting. I don't.

It's not even in your nature.

I don't like conflict. And then, you know, when there is a conflict, whether it's my kids, whether it's drama at a holiday, whether it's family, whether it's a vacation, whether it's you. I want to sit down and can we bring a resolution to this? And I did it calmly, and I told you that I cared deeply about.

You, but I was not used to that.

And. And I wasn't used to, you know, anybody taking me and hitting me with a coat or whatever it was that happened that day. And we worked it out and we went on. I don't. And to be honest with you, Hope, I don't remember during our dating of Three and a half years. I don't remember many times like that because I think that day, I think it opened my eyes, you know, I certainly wasn't perfect. You weren't perfect, but I don't remember. We may have had disagreements, but that was about as far as it ever got. I don't remember you ever flying off at me again. I don't remember none of those things. So I don't know if just your love for me caused you to reign that in or if it's something that God did in your heart that day, but I do remember that was a watershed moment for us. That we were able to take our first conflict and talk through it. No cussing, fussing, throwing stuff, breaking up. I hate you calling each other names. None of that stuff. Just, you know, this right here can change. And while it's changing, I love you. I care about you. So anyway, I think that's something that we did right amongst all the things I probably did wrong. And so then we got. We got this time left. Let me see if I can work it in here.

Okay?

Now, we do have another sponsor, am I correct?

Yeah.

So you stop me, okay? The engagement. We had dated one year. And I knew because a year at our little college, we were at Emanuel College was as a thousand years. We saw each other every day, all day, every three meals, last kiss, good night, last kiss before we go to bed, first cup of coffee in the morning, you know, books together, studying together. We traveled together.

Do you remember that? We ate 10:30.

We meet and eat a salad in the room. We sat in the dorm. We did everything together. We truly did everything together. And we travel and preach and you would sing on weekends. I mean, so the time there was sped up, you got to admit, the relationship there. Because there was nothing else to do in North Georgia. So if you were dating there, basically dating was all you had to do. And so after one year, I wanted to get engaged. And I am a romantic, Anna.

You are.

I'm very much a romantic. Do you like that about me?

I do.

I wanted that first kiss to tear your nerves up. And I wanted our engagement to sweep you off your feet on my level. Now, we didn't have any money, you know, there was no way I could do anything decadent. But with the resources and things I had, I wanted to do something spectacular, you know? So we asked you to go to North Carolina on vacation. This is my mom's family. My mom's family were all big time, big time farmers. And they all did well. They all did well. They all had big places at the lake, Boats, all the recreational devices. So a lot of times we would just go up there and they would let us stay at their places on the lake and we'd stay up for sometime a week at a time. And before school started back, what would have been my junior year and your sophomore, my family said, why don't you ask Hope to come on this trip with us? So I'm thinking to myself, okay, we're going to stay on the lake. Lake can be very romantic, sunset. If I do this thing right, this thing can be it. So I had been working all summer traveling with this group. They paid us $30 a week. They paid us $30 a week and took care of our laundry.

Banking.

Yep. And so the long and short, I came back with what little bit of money I had, and I was willing to blow the whole summer's money on this one night. So I had planned to go out and eat at this unbelievable restaurant. You got to understand, you're talking about a guy who made $30 a week.

So you got about 150, 20 bucks on you.

Yeah. So $30 a week. And this is a restaurant where, you know, it's $50ameal back then. So it was a very nice restaurant. But you know what? I'm getting engaged. It don't matter. Go ahead and get reservations. I went, bought me this brand new outfit, these brand new, remember, pleated shorts. Back then, everything was pleated. I bought me these pleated shorts, these shoes. I blew the money on the outfit. And the final straw was I had the ring and I wanted a dozen roses and I wanted to put the ring stem on the roses inside. I mean, the ring on the stem of the roses inside the box. I'm doing good, ain't it? Yeah, as you hear, I'm doing good. I got a plan. And then after we have dinner that night, we're going to go back to the lake and I'm going to take you out to this island and I'm going to give you these flowers. And hopefully you would open the flowers and see this ring and just blown away, crumble away. That was what I had in my mind at least. So you got to give me, get a good plan. You got to give me a for vision. I was visionary on how I did this. So we go out to eat. Got my new outfit on. My mom and dad put the ring on the thing and put it in the side of the boat. I've got everything planned out. Hope is all done up and she's always been able to do it. And I was, too, that night. Mullet and everything. I'm ready to go. So we went to this nice restaurant, and I mean to tell you, I rung up a bill that liked to knock my eyes out. I had never in my life paid a hundred bucks. That kind of money for a meal. A guy, you know, a guy who spends a month's wage on a meal. So anyway. But you know, I'm not planning on getting engaged but one time. So this is it. I'm just blowing whatever I got.

I had an idea.

You did?

Yes, because you were spending money. I knew that something's going to happen.

I would do anything for you. But I didn't have a lot to do. I mean, I'd buy you food, I'd pay for things while we were at college, but I just didn't have a lot. So, yeah, I was blowing a lot of money that night. You probably wondering what was going on. So we get in the car and I'll never forget it. We're walking to the car and I look and these awful looking dark clouds are gathering. But here's the problem. I'm about 50 bucks in with my outfit.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm $100 in on the meal.

You can't turn around.

If I remember right, the roses were like $40. And so here I am. I'm almost $200 in this night. There is no way that some rain is going to knock me out. So we go on back. By the time we get back, it's drizzling. We go down to the boathouse.

Oh, you are pulling me. Determined.

We get into the boat and pull it out of the house. It is raining.

It's pure.

It's raining.

My hair was up out here.

Yep, it's raining. And I pull back on the boat and I head out toward this island which, to be very, very romantic, is called Goat Island.

Yes. Because goats are all over the island.

She lived all of it. But it was way off in the middle of this lake. Beautiful big lake joining North Carolina and Virginia. And we went out across there. And you got to understand, I'm in my uncle's boat. My uncle's wealthy. He's got this Mark Twain cruiser. I'm driving it with hope. And I mean, you got to see it. It's lightning. It's thunder. It's lightning. People at their houses on screen porches looking at it. Nobody gets out on a boat in a My hair thunderstorm.

Under a covering. We're in A boat in a rainstorm.

Pouring down rain.

It's pouring down my hair. Started out like this. My hair now is, like, all hanging down.

The Dracula mascara coming down her face and everything. She look, she looks horrible. She's soaking wet.

I'm cold.

She's down, and the rain's beaming on our skin, hitting her in the eyes. And she almost looks like she's crying. She looks like she's upset because, I mean, I'm sitting there and I'm begging.

Him to go back. I'm like, ryan, let's go back.

He's like, no, but I mean, the vision is in full swing. The vision is in full swing. And we plowing through that lightning storm, electrical storm. It is crazy. Pouring down rain, misery. So I pull back to an idol as we approach Goat Island. Goat Island. And all of a sudden, the boat lifts up and just stops.

This is true.

Just stops. I mean, like. And I look down, and this massive boat is lodged on the biggest stump I have ever seen God put on this earth. So you. Lightning, thunder, rain, and pouring out, and we're lodged on a stump. I'm just like, can anything else go wrong? So I jump outside the boat, try to calm her down. I'll be right back. Swoosh mud up to my waist with.

This new pleated shirt.

My new outfit, I mean. I mean, I'm walking and I mean, just pulling one leg up with mud. I finally, in exhaustion, make my way around to the front of the boat, and I'm underneath the front of it, Lightning, thundering, raining. And I'm trying to get that thing unlodged from that stump. So finally I get it to roll back in the water a little bit off the stump. I climb over the side of the boat and just fall. Mud everywhere. It's still raining, Pouring down rain. By that time, defeat has set in.

Good.

Defeat has set in. And I realize we gotta go back. This is just not happening. And I'm. Now we're exalted, and it's downright dangerous. So I turn around, and in that same thunder and lightning storm, I gotta drive all the way back to the boathouse. And I am. So listen, I'm out a couple of hundred bucks. Me having a couple of hundred bucks is nothing less than miraculous. Anyway, I'm out a couple of hundred bucks. The night is a disaster. Everything, you know, that I had planned had just. My performance was an F minus that night on what I wanted to be the greatest night of her life up to that point. Okay, So I went, Got out of the boat, if I remember right, I pulled it in the boathouse, put it up on. I got out and didn't even speak to you. I just got out. I was so, so defeated. And you had the boat and you had a walkway on this side and this side and they had little cane poles. And, you know, Bob and I went and sat down looking at the rain orange man and put a worm on it and I just sat there. Moment or two later, you come over and you walk outside and you come sit down beside me. And I remember, I look at you and say, will you marry me?

True story.

The absolute disaster of a night. What have I always drawn from that? Love is never performance based. If it's true love.

So good.

And I wanted to wow my way into your life. And so when everything fell apart, you said yes anyway. Because love was never about the performance. It was about the person.

So good.

I learned a valuable, valuable lesson that night when you said yes on my worst day.

And boy, have we had to employ that concept throughout our entire love life.

Let that simmer a little bit and you talk about our next sponsor. Wow.

Oh, that's hard to go into a sponsor, isn't it?

I got a finishing thought.

Well, our last sponsor today, and I am so grateful for our sponsors, they are so good to us.

They mean so much to us.

Yes. Looking to get your financial future organized? And who's not right? We all need to do it.

Everybody.

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It is. And it's our story that we've had.

To employ over and over and over. And I think every marriage, if you really want to operate in God's kind of love, you will be put to the test to see if you really can.

Well, Jesus said, love your enemies. I always looked at that and I'm like, you know, that's really. That's a high bar. And then he said this. He said, but if you love those who love you, he said, what credit is it to you? He said, even a sinner can do that. So in other words, he said, and if you hate those who hate you, what credit is it you? Even sinners? So in other words, he says, if you operate a relationship by what's normal to everybody else, if they love me, I love them back. They hate me, I hate them back. He says, you have not separated yourself from the crowd. He said, but I tell you who hear me, love your enemies and do good to those who persecute you. I learned a lesson in love that night. I've been telling everybody this for years. I learned a lot that night. Because I didn't think you were going to say no, I'm not going to say that. I didn't think you were going to tell me no, but you thought that's.

What you had to do.

Yeah, I thought I had to do something spectacular and hope it fell apart. I don't even know if I can say it as bad as it is.

Right, it was bad.

It fell apart. And, you know, I figured by then you knew what I was doing and so I went ahead and asked anyway, and you said yes. And you know, years back, pondering that, I'm like, wow, none of that other stuff even mattered.

No, I wanted just to be with you, right?

None of the stuff even mattered.

Not the roses, not the boat ride. I just wanted to be with you.

But do you know what's a killer to people? Performance based relationships, where it's a mom and dad that you feel like you got to perform for a husband or wife, you got to perform for a group that you want to accept you, that you feel you got to perform for. Performance based relationships are all we know in the earth. And then when we meet God, we think God's the same way. And God is not.

No, he's not a man.

God is not a person.

He loves us just for who we are, not what we do.

And he loves you when you're unlovable. He can't love you anymore and he can't love you any less. And so if you don't know that love, you can know it. And it's perfect in Jesus Christ. This has been amazing. We did a lot of teaching. Kind of last week instruction. I was really burning with that word on clarity. This week we just shared our story. So you never know what you're going to get and run and hope.

Unfiltered.

Unfiltered. Real, raw and relevant.

We love you guys. Be sure and subscribe to our podcast. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Share it like all of the podcasts that you see. Lots of things going on. Join us at hopecarpenter.com, ron Carpenter MyRedemption CC GO. Follow us. We'd love to be your friend and be a voice in your life. Until next time.

Blessings.