Ron + Hope: Unfiltered - Why Am I So Angry?

Foreign.

Hello, everybody. This is Running Hope. Unfiltered, Real, raw. What?

And relevant. I'm not drinking water this time.

I know you didn't do it, and that's too far. It's too. Here, honey. How can I serve you here?

That's the way it is all the time.

I know. I always serve you.

Before the podcast started, her microphone was right here, and she said, I need somebody to come and pull my mic. And I just had to apologize to all the help. I'm like, guys, she's not used to have to moving things.

Used to. Have to.

She's not used to that, to having to move things. So I'm sorry.

She thinks she's at home, and there was a weight on it to hold it in place, and I couldn't reach it. Run. Anyway. Goodness gracious. This episode is brought to you by Better Help. And I think we're going to need some counseling later. So, you know, we're not above it.

I've had so much counseling. What are they going to tell me?

We're not above it, Ryan.

We had so much. We're going to talk about Better Help later. We are?

Yeah.

Let's sit back. You got these new chairs.

You like them?

And I usually am doing like this, but if I can just talk from right here. I really like this. This is cool.

You can talk from anywhere.

Tell them what we're talking about.

Where?

Because we got a big one and Hope picks 90% of topics. And so when I said, what are we talking about? She told me, ooh, that's a good one.

Well, I think it's because I've been doing a lot of counseling with people.

And it has been rough few weeks. We've had a lot of people bring us into marital problems, certainly.

Which is okay. Which is.

I mean, it's part of life, what.

We do, and marital problems is part of life. Why not? Because you are bad people or it's a bad marriage. It's. It's just what the way it is. Because you're dealing with humans. You're dealing with a whole other human who has their own set of issues, and you're trying to blend life together, and you're trying to make it work and you're trying to make it good. So there's always going to be things that pop up. So. So today we're going to talk about relationship killers. Relation. What are some relationship killers and how can you fix them?

The second one's tough. I can talk about the first one.

Let's go.

Hours.

All right. Here we go.

How to fix them is that we, you know, we'd have the largest podcast.

In the world, Relationship Killers.

Let me tell you what, what are.

Some things that hurt our relationship?

Let, let me, let me play into that. Going to do biblically, then I'm going to do naturally. So, guys, hang on here, because this is going to be enlightening, I think. Number one, everybody has three things that they're bringing with them into the relationship. Three things. Number one, generational sin. So when I meet you, you have ancestral sin. I have ancestral sin that I am bringing with me that I didn't ask for. I don't ask for. Don't like it, don't want it. Maybe oblivious to it. Maybe oblivious to it. Like people with a temper sometimes don't know they have a temper. People with an attitude.

How do you not know you have an attitude?

But I mean, people with an attitude don't know they have an attitude. People full of pride don't know they're full of pride.

Everybody else does.

Yeah. And that's the thing. So a lot of times it's a blind spot. They're oblivious to it. Number two, that's nature. Then I talked about this in one of my series a while back, nurture. Then we have things that have happened to us. So I've got generational sins. When I say I do, then I've got everything that's happened to me. And the older you are, the more that's happened to you. Okay, then the last thing is strongholds, which are mindsets. So when you married Ron Carpenter, you married everybody in his ancestry.

That's true.

When you married Ron Carpenter, you married every experience he's ever had, positive and negatively. And thirdly, when you married Ron Carpenter, you married the mindset.

I hit the jackpot.

Well, thank you for that. That will pay you great dividends. But you married a small town boy.

Yes.

Raised in the country, limited exposure. And so my mind, my thinking was like that. In fact, some of our earliest conversations, me and you talked all the time when we were dating. We didn't just kiss all the time. We twisted. We kissed a lot. We had great conversation, though.

Yeah, but we kissed a lot.

We did. I'd go buy you a push up. And if I bought you a push up, you'd always wanted to kiss after that.

That's right.

But we did sit a long time. We'd just sit and we would just talk. I'm amazing at how we was watching this Love Is Blind thing the other night, and they don't they haven't even talked about.

Now, that's ridiculous.

And they ain't even talked about whether or not they want to have kids. And I'm like, you know something? You really need to have thought about that. You look like you're praising him right here in the corner.

I'm not praising him, but there is a bug right here.

But anyway, we saw the things that they were surprised about each other, and I'm like, and you didn't talk about this. I don't care if you have been together two or three weeks. All the time you spent together, you hadn't talked about this. So, anyway, we had tons of conversation. But even in the midst of that, there's stuff I'm bringing to the table. Stuff you're bringing to the table. So when you bring all of that together in one house, it can be a time for ministry if you understand one another, or it can be cataclysmic.

Depending on, well, it's a time for ministry. If you're full of the love of Jesus, and if you're not full of.

The love of Jesus, you go to war.

You cannot give what you don't have.

If you don't have love of Jesus. You take those things and you go to war over them. And then, you know, you're just like your daddy. And then all hell breaks.

I can't take you anymore.

Yeah, you sound like your mama every time you say that. I'm tired of your family. And you always do this when this, that, well, something's happened. I don't refer to Oprah in a biblical sense, but I remember Oprah's show one time where she said, I no longer ask what you did. I asked, what happened to you?

What happened to you?

What happened to you?

So good.

That's basically what everybody brings to the table. So right off the bat, hope those can be marriage busters.

Relationships.

Just what you brought to the table when you said I do before you ever had any experiences in marriage. And so we advocate an extended time of dating.

Yes, we do.

We advocate that. I don't think you got to date as long as we did. Ours was brutally long, over three years. But I do. I've always taught you need to see people in different seasons and see how they respond. And another thing is we try to take people to places where we can. What we call clean the pipes out. Deal with all that before you get married. We just had one couple very, very dear to us, Engage came to our marriage conference, and he said, I can see where my marriage would have been doomed from the gate had I not come to that marriage conference.

Wow. Wow.

Because it was so eye opening.

Yeah. Information.

Right.

And it forced them to talk.

It forced them to talk. And they told me it was very tense. Yeah.

Life sometimes doesn't force you to talk.

And I talked about generational curses and I talked about the fatherlessness. And I looked over at the marriage conference and this person was on the floor weeping. Now we're in a room with 800 adults and this person is on the floor weeping. Why? Because I took and confronted him with pain and scratched scabs he didn't even know he had. But he was able to start getting it out and dealing with him. And he said, man, I would not have wanted to have gotten married had that not happened.

So talking, getting it out, counseling, all of that. And like I said when we first started, this episode is brought to you by Better Help. I think everyone listening wants to live their best life. I know I do. I want to live my best life. And sometimes bad decisions. Procrastination. Lots of things keep you from living your true best self. Working with a counselor or therapist will help you get closer to the best version of you. And I found the years that I didn't use a counselor or therapist, I struggled with self esteem, completing goals, actually talking and being truthful with you. I started counseling in 2013 and my life has taken off. If you're thinking about giving counseling a try, better help is a great option. It's convenient, flexible, affordable, and entirely online. Complete a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist today. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can help get you there. Visit better. Betterhelp.com RonAndHope today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E-L-P.com Ron and Hope.

What was the. The ones that you had listed that you want to talk about and cover? Because one or two of them really caught my attention.

Okie dokie.

Because I can go on. I mean, I could go for hours about unforgiveness. Okay, what was the other ones?

Familiarity.

Let's do that.

Selfishness.

Let's start with familiarity.

Okay.

Marriage killer.

Marriage killer. Familiarity. Explain that. What does that mean?

Familiarity is when you no longer have any. I am assuming I have explored everything there is about you. You have nothing new to bring to me. All discovery is gone.

It's kind of. You take them for granted.

Yes. Now you.

It's just casual.

I no longer see the value. Now we work Good Together, we're good roommates, all that stuff. But to keep the passion, familiarity has to be fought intentionally. And the way to fight familiarity intentionally is acts of honor. Acts of honor. Now, I'll tell you what I do. There are a lot of great marriages. I can't speak what everybody else does, but let me tell you what I do. And baby, you know this. There are things we intentionally do for each other, whether we feel like it or not, that just shows value. I got up this morning, you had made my coffee and set out my.

Coffee cup because I left early.

You left early. And you let me sleep in. Because last night I went to bed about two, right? And you let me sleep in. My favorite thing in the world is to be kissed. That's not your favorite thing in the world? In the morning? My favorite thing in the world is to be kissed. You came over with your beautiful self, woke me up. I opened my eyes, I loved what I saw. And then you kissed me. And then I went in there and my coffee is made and my cup is setting up. 33 and a half years, you could have said, ron's a big boy. He can get his own coffee. Okay? Familiarity is, Ron's a big boy and he can get his own coffee.

Familiarity is, I'm going to take care of myself. He can do it.

He can do it. I'm in a hurry, and I ain't got time to fool with making Ron no coffee. Okay? Honor is I'm going to do a little thing that sends him the message when he wakes up, he's still the one. I got up and this is what I said. I walked in there, I said, man, she left my coffee cup out. Okay? I texted you and said, thank you for the coffee, okay?

And you didn't have to do that.

Most people, you expect coffee after 30 years. No, thank you for my coffee. Last night, putting up our plate. You had pork chops in the crock pot, barbecue. You had mashed potatoes. You worked all day yesterday.

Came home and cooked. Because I'm superwoman.

You worked all day yesterday. I know. Especially with us being empty nesters, you're not really fond of cooking anymore. And I came home and you probably had one of my favorite meals in the world waiting on me. Yeah, that was good. And ain't nobody can cook it like you. I ate about four plates.

Corn on the cob, brussels sprouts.

Brussels sprouts. Creamed potatoes. Potatoes come on side, pork chops falling off the bone. I mean, it was amazing. And then I turned around and I Said, you know what? I'm taking you out tonight. And you said, I'll let you. I mean, you know, like, we're not the model. No, we get it wrong, but we've got this thing.

We understand the principles and we try.

I know what blesses you. I know it blesses you.

I know what blesses you.

I know you know you very much. You're very good at what blesses me. I know what blesses you. I know it blesses me.

It's just one or two things.

And it's even sometime maybe if we're in a disagreement together, it's one act like that that can turn it. It's like, you know what? I'm mad right now, but if I do this because a kind word turns away wrath, a kind deed turns away wrath. So familiarity. Let me just, Let me give a biblical side. Jesus went home and had miracles everywhere. But home. He went home because they didn't expect him. He's not the son of God.

They didn't set the bar high.

He's not a messiah. Where did he get this stuff? We know this guy. There's nothing special about him. He's marrying Joseph's boy. He builds benches. What is all the fuss about? And he could do no mighty work there. And he marveled at their unbelief or their lack of honor. And if there's anywhere he wanted to thrive, it was at home. He went home. I know when we played at home, I want to score a touchdown, I want to knock a home run. But he went home. Nothing happened. It wasn't because he was low on power that day. It was because familiarity had set in. Why did the woman. Why did the very good. Why did the woman with the alabaster box come in the room? Everybody talks about what she did. Nobody talks about. Why would she enter that boy's locker room? There was no woman in that room. There was Jesus. The house of the person he was at and all the 12 disciples. Jesus went there. He didn't get greeted with a kiss. He didn't get his feet washed. He didn't get offered anything to eat.

Because they were used to him. They were used to him.

The common honor of every Hebrew house, the son of God got none of it. He did not get the welcoming of a commoner. And so what happens? His presence. You can't do that. And so when the guys were. Were familiar with him, in comes a woman and took her life savings.

She said, because it's special to me.

Exactly right.

You know what's in Him.

She went in there and changed the room. And I'm going to tell you what she did. She shamed.

She did.

She shamed everybody in there because everybody who now felt a little entitled to Jesus, she came in there and said, you feel like you're entitled. I'm grateful to be around him. And so there are acts, kindness, knowing how to bless your spouse and be intentional about it. That always keeps the.

Yes.

You know. You know that's one of my favorite hairstyles. Now, you like it because it's a day where you don't have to wash your hair.

Because I don't wash my hair.

But the fact is, I've always told you you got the face, that you can take your hair and do that. And I love it because it's very elegant on you. I don't know if it's your favorite hairstyle, but. But you know, it's one of mine. And so I do it and so you do it.

I think your hair looks good today.

I try, but I'm just grateful to have it at this stage of my life. Just stay in there. Just stay in there. These sound almost corny and elementary, baby, but that makes you want to be around me. That makes me want to. That makes me. I still can't wait to go home and eat. I'm like, man, 45 minutes I get to go see him.

You know, for another example, everybody listening and everybody who knows you knows you're a great preacher, you're a great communicator. You've been doing it a very long time. But familiarity would be for me to never tell you that you're a great preacher. That, you know, I'm just used to it. I listen to you and I never comment or I never shout when you're preaching, or I would just sit there with my arms folded.

Now, you know what makes my day? When I am preaching my guts out and I've been at church since 6 o' clock that morning, my eyeballs are popping out, my veins are out, my neck and I'm on. And I look over on the front row and my wife's. My God, Ron, you preaching good. Oh, man, what devil you want me to cast out now, right?

That's honor.

That's honor.

That's honor.

And you've been listening to me preach since my first sermon in Hartwell, Georgia. So familiarity is. They say it's not in the Bible, say it breeds contempt. The fact is, familiarity is a killer and honor is its remedy. And honor is intentional with your time, intentional with Your actions intentional with constantly being a blessing with things that are special to your spouse. I don't want to run all into our next dad, so you just have to shut me down when you're ready.

It's so good, though.

But the familiarity thing, that's big because.

It'S like you do all of these things when you're dating, and then when you get married, you feel like you don't have to deal with that.

Well, the guy who comes home and just kind of goes in his garage and starts piddling and don't even let his wife know he's home.

Yeah.

You know, well, that didn't happen when they were dating because she wouldn't have married him.

Right.

You know, or the wife who hears him when he comes in and don't even recognize he's walked in the house.

Right. Doesn't even go to him, hug him.

Okay. That's when all the familiarity fills the house. That's when the honor exits the door and that's when it just becomes a living arrangement. And you sit there and you watching shows and you're living through other people and watching Instagram and you wonder why.

You don't have the quote unquote butterflies or feel in love. The feeling of being in love is triggered by acts of service.

Tell them I aggravated the crap out of you last night. She was sitting on the other end of the couch. We got a U shaped couch, so it's this way. Coffee table and another U. And so I've got a chaise lounger on my side. I get to sit down with my feet out. And she goes way over there on the other side. And I'm like, well, I was tired. Come here, sit with daddy.

Because I had been. I had worked, I think, about 10 hours and then came home and cooked. And I was just tired, number one. And we were watching a show and you scooted all the way over to my side, my lounger. And I'm like, what are you doing? And you said, I just want to look at you. And you just stared at me while I'm trying to watch tv. And I'm like, stop.

Then I started squeezing you.

And then you started putting your arm around me and pulling me close. Aggravate the snot out of me. But then you made me laugh.

You started laughing.

Yes.

You started laughing.

Yeah. All right.

We could go all night on familiarity, familiarity.

But we gotta stop.

Honor's the remedy.

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Awesome. You do have one trigger.

Do I have a trigger? Rice, Ron. It's not rice. It's carbs in general. That is my trigger. And you know why? Because they taste so stinking good. Nothing like a buttered biscuit.

So he's walking by me a damn jeans and I start talking about rice.

Oh my God.

All right, start talking about rice.

Relationship killers.

My baby been eating some rice.

It's when you point out my fatness that's a relationship killer. All right, what about unforgiveness? That right there will destroy you because it breeds and it grows and you become bitter and you become resentful. There is no way you can fully love somebody when you've not forgiven them.

Bottom line, Unforgiveness, I think has a 24 hour clock on it. A lot of people read the Bible and they don't know what to take literally. And they don't know what is allegorical and what's symbolism and there's all of that in the Bible. But the Bible makes it clear. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. The Bible talks In Ecclesiastes about, there's a time to plant, but there's also a time to uproot what's been planted. I think offenses are easiest to pluck out of somebody's soul, out of their heart. The quicker you get to them, immediately when they're done, like we used to talk about with spanking our kids.

And that's hard.

Yeah. You have to give yourself a little bit of time to blow off steam so you don't spank them out of anger. But in other words, you can't spank a kid a long time. There can't be a lot of distance between the action that you're trying to correct and the discipline. It's got to be right there so they can associate it same way with you. Say, baby doll, that bothered me. That hurt my feelings. I need to immediately. Have always done it. No, I need to immediately. Sweetheart, I am so sorry. That was never my intention to hurt your feelings. I've had a long day. I was frustrated and I should not have said that.

And, you know, but right then. But, Ron, you can forgive somebody if they never come to you and repent if they never ask him.

My thunder. I was going to. I ain't got there yet. Well, I'm talking about the way to handle it relationally.

Right.

Okay. Now, why is that? Because when an acorn goes in the soil and it has a little sprout, you can take two fingers and pull it out. You let that thing stay in there 10 years, you got to deal with an oak tree, and you better bring a bulldozer with you. That's what unforgiveness grows into. I think your first statement about unforgiveness is it does not stay in one place. It grows. It grows, it grows and it turns into a fence. And a brother offended is worse than a walled city.

But it's impossible for offenses not to come. You're going to be offended, somebody's going to tick you off, they're going to hurt you. But you. They're going to violate you. And you know what? It just so frustrates me. I could say it pisses me off. And it does. Because when I hear people say, well, I'm just sick of her, or, I'm just sick of him, and I don't want to deal with them anymore. And you know what I want to say? I want to say. But that says nothing about them. It says everything about you. It says everything about your heart. Yeah, they might have done. ABC, 1, 2, 3. All of these things but your response as a Christian is 100%. We have to operate in a heart of forgiveness.

I have to take responsibility to forgive you, not wait on you to apologize or to change. Right. It's, it's not.

Now, trust is different.

But we're talking about.

We're talking about forgiveness. Forgiveness.

I'm talking about forgiveness. I have to. I love the way Denise Boggs put it, who you did a couple of podcasts back with her. She said, forgiveness is, I accept the blood of Jesus as payment for what you did. Now, when she said that I've been preaching the Bible my whole life, that revolutionized my thinking because I saw the blood of Jesus as God accepting that payment for my sins. But I didn't see it where I could for everybody else's, for everybody's sin against me. And so I gotta understand that Jesus did not only spill blood for me, but for anything that would be done against me. And so through the blood of Jesus, I'm able to release you from that offense because Jesus paid for it already.

Right.

And so.

But you know how we deal with people and the harboring of bitterness, that's don't let the sun go down unforgiveness. It says everything about how much Jesus I have on the inside of me. I think it's just a mirror.

I think it's the root of depression. I'm not qualified to speak, but I have an opinion. I think most depression is unforgiveness and anger from it. Internalized, internalized, internalized. And what it has done, it has sucked the fuel of life, your joy, out of you.

Your joy.

And then hopelessness sets in and nothing can ever change. And it really has nothing to do with what's around you. It has to do with what you've never gotten out of yourself.

Because what is our strength? How do we overcome it's joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength. And so we have no strength to get through the day. We have no strength to fight for this relationship. We have no strength to keep trying when we are sapped of joy.

Somebody out there is frustrated right now, listening to us. They're not laughing anymore. And I can hear it. Well, you don't know. Let me tell you something.

We know a little bit.

We know a little bit. We know a little bit. And I've had people that have wronged me on a level where I have literally had to walk around the sanctuary at the church alone and declare over, I will forgive souls. I will. I mean, I'd had to just say it until my spirit received it. I mean, until everything that was rejecting it left me. I made myself say it until I could actually do it. And so we're not sitting here telling you that. Not getting familiar and releasing unforgiveness. These are not easy things, but the fact is they are the way to healthy relationships. Because there's no way you're going to live with Ron Carpenter and Ron Carpenter not tick you off.

Impossible.

And like you said, it's impossible for offenses not to come. It's impossible to work at a company and somebody not offend you. It's impossible. I get a little bit weary of church hurt. Yeah, everybody's been church hurt, right?

And it's.

Some of them quit going to church.

And it's just you happen to be inside that building when you ran into that person. I mean, that person could hurt you in Walmart. That person can hurt you in Target. Don't say church hurt.

And I'm not belittling it because it is painful, but I've been church hurt so many times. I could go to Utah, get, and get in a fetal position and soak my thumb. I mean, people that have done me wrong, I never dreamed would have done things like they've done to me.

So it's still your responsibility to deal with it.

I'm not going to hold it against the people of God, cut myself off from the body, you know, mad at God, this and that and other. Don't let anybody ever have control of your emotional health.

Right.

Don't put your emotional health in the hands of anybody. No way I'm going to sit here and wait 100 years for you to come back and apologize to me. I'm letting you go now because you are not going to retain power over me. I'm getting preachy now.

No, and I was just thinking as you were talking. Another common, very, very, very, very common relationship killer, especially when you're married or in a dating relationship, is withholding. And that the root of that is selfishness. That's just a being very.

Can I say something?

Yes.

Would you say that might be a little bit more of a go to for the female than the male? The withholding part or. I don't know.

We've seen it. Both. We've seen it. You know, I refuse to hug her. I don't want to hug her. She's gross to me. Or she turns me off and I'm not good. I know she wants to kiss, but I'm not going to kiss her. I can see that she's gross to.

Me because it's usually in the context of lovemaking.

Yeah, but I'm just talking about withholding. Like, I'm going to. I'm going to bed early. I'm not sitting with him tonight. I'm going to bed.

So. Withholding my affection, my kindness, my words, everything, my company.

And it kills. It just kills. And the root of it is selfishness. It's me, it's me, it's me, it's me. And everything to do with love is 100% selflessness.

When I'm ever counseling somebody, which is now mainly leaders, and I start hearing I and me.

Yeah, what about me? What about my hygiene?

I've always said that's the most dangerous statement in a relationship is when you get to the place. What about me?

I wrote a whole chapter in my book about that, about red flags in relationships.

What about me? When you hear what about me? You need to run every red flag up the pole you've got, because that is where selfishness and entitlement sets in. And you have the ability to justify your next action.

You do. Entitlement is the cement of. Around the stones in your heart. The stones are each event that hurt you. That's what helps you build a wall. But the entitlement of why you feel the way you feel is actually the cement that holds it together. Because the hurt, you're like, they did this to me. So I'm justified in what I do to respond. And that's wrong. That is so. So that's why we gotta take it to the foot of the cross. Every single day. We gotta say, God, show me my heart. Me, my heart every single day.

You know, baby, I've had people, had quite a few people ask me, you know, when. When are you going to write a book, Ron? We. We read Pastor Hope's book. Your journey was different. When are you going to write a book? I don't know if I'll ever write a book on it. I'm. I'm not inclined as a writer to be honest with you. But what people don't know is they hear me talking about my journey Every. I'm talking about my journey now.

Every day. Yeah. It's our life.

Not letting familiarity, not letting things stay in my heart. Learning to forgive, Understanding what unconditional love really is. Understanding the payment of the blood, all these things. These are my book. Ron, how did you make it through your journey? Everything.

I'm telling you in the same way you use all of these tools to forgive somebody for spending too much Is the same way you use the tool for forgiving somebody who had an affair, for somebody who did whatever. It's the same. Just like we talk about with faith. The same faith that you have to muster up for a headache is the same faith you believe for to heal cancer. It's the same faith. It's the same substance. Well, it's a lot of work.

Yes, it is a lot of work. And I think I was telling. It was a young couple we were talking to the other night and I ended up on the phone with them. They were on the speaker phone and I think I ended up with the phone a little bit. And I told them, I said, look, even in mine and Hope's life, I said there were hard conversations. I said they were all right, I just need some space and I need to go riding. But we did what we had to do do to flush the pain.

I think it's easier for couples to, to be willing to keep going, to work at this, to say, I, I'm in the game. When you see the other one not, not with their feet in the mud, you know, when you see the other one saying, I'm doing this too. I'm going to do the same thing you're doing. I'm working on it as hard as you when. But at the end of the day, even if they're not, it's still our responsibility to do what God's called us to do. To be right in right relationship with God. When you're in right relationship with God, you'll be in right relationship with people.

That's why Easter is a cross.

Yeah.

Because you get your vertical relationship right. The horizontal ones have a tendency to begin to align themselves properly as well.

We actually have one more sponsor today that we love so much and it's bowl and branch. And here we are in the spring. We're looking forward to warmer weather in longer days. I know I am. Which all start with one thing. A great night sleep. You can wake up feeling rested and refreshed with the softest. And they truly are most luxurious sheets. From Bowland Branch, they are the bedding expert, making the highest quality sheets with incredible craftsmanship. Each sheet set is slow, made for an unmatched softness with 100% traceable organic cotton that gets softer with a every wash. You know, we're on the go all the time and sleep is so important to us. So these sheets, they're the softest. They even get softer over time. I'm telling you, I almost packed them in my suitcase because they are so wonderful. They also have 10 colors to choose from. You can get a 30 night risk free guarantee with the free shipping and returns on all U.S. orders. Make the most of bedtime with bowl and branch sheets. Sleep better at night with bowling. Branch sheets. Get 15% off your first order when you use promo code ronandhopeolenbranch.com that's Boland Branch B O L L A N D Branch.com promo code Ron and Hope exclusions apply. See site for details. Ron, this has been awesome.

We've had everybody a good bit of time now. I don't know how, how do you wrap this up? Because we might even take this into the next one. Yeah, take this into the next one. Talking about marriage killers, relationship killers, however you want to talk about it. And it's really.

And there's a lot of them. There are a lot of, you know.

In our marriage conference, back when we started, I think 98, 99, we had one session called Marriage Busters. You remember that? I still got the file. I might need to go back and talk about some of that. I don't even know what's even in that file. That thing was 20 something years ago.

And you know, we've learned a lot and it's frustrating to see young couples and they've been married six months and they want to get a divorce and, or they've been married two years or you know, they've come through heavy, heavy things and then they get on the other side of it and they're like, I'm done. I just can't do this anymore. Oh, yes, you can. You know what you're saying? You're saying that your problems are bigger than Jesus and that is not the case. My God can fix any single thing, but you have to be willing to work for it. Is it quick? No. Is it easy? No. But nothing in life that's going to have a significant change. It's going to be quick or easy.

Everything worthwhile, as John Maxwell says, is uphill.

It is. It's uphill.

Everything worthwhile is uphill. We love you guys.

We sure do. It's been awesome.

This has been, this has been one of our better ones, I think, because we got some real life information that maybe can help you, maybe turn things around, even start today.

Be sure and subscribe. Go and subscribe to the podcast. Share them, Share them with everybody. If you know a couple who you feel like could really benefit from this, go on and share it with them. Go to our YouTube pages and subscribe and follow us there so many things, so many messages. Go to the vault. Go to roncarpenter.com if you would like to hear all of ron's preaching for 33 years. It's there. It is. I mean, you have access to any. Every message that we've ever preached, but we love you guys. It's Ron and hope unfiltered. Until next time.

See you.