Soul Ties with guest Denise Boggs

Foreign.

Hello, everybody. It's Ron and Hope Unfiltered, but technically, it's just Hope Unfiltered today. Real, raw, relevant. I'm so glad that you're here. It's not just Hope, actually. Backed by Popular Demand, Pastor Denise Boggs is here with us. And I am so excited to have her. I know that you guys are, too. You've been asking for. You've been asking for these questions to be answered. And so guess what? We're going to answer them today, and we're going to talk about a really tough, tough, tough topic. When I say the word, you may not know that it's so tough because you may have never heard this topic before, but once we get into it, you're going to say, oh, my goodness, I need to put my cup down. I need to pull over on the side of the road, because God's gonna do some deep, deep work today. But first, we gotta get knowledge. We gotta get revelation. We gotta get understanding. We gotta understand why we are the way we are. We gotta understand why we do what we do. Your husband would probably say amen, and then your wife would probably say amen. For those who are listening in a room with other people, you know, sometimes we just don't know why we do what we do. I remember being in that state, Pastor Denise, when I ended up at your place in 20. October 2013. And I knew I was wrong. I knew I'd been in sin. I knew that I had hurt many people. But I could not answer the why. No, couldn't answer the why. And so many people. I know you've sat in your parlor and you've sat on a couch with thousands and thousands of people who literally cannot answer why. And the people around them don't understand that. They don't understand why, that they can't. They want answers. They want to know why you did what you did. Why have you been doing what you've been doing. Yes. But the person who is sitting in your parlor, the person may be listening today, going down the road, the person sitting at their desk with earbuds on. They hate where they are, but they don't know how they ended up there. And we're going to talk about a subject today called Soul Ties.

Yes.

Just take a breath. Everybody take a breath. It's a big one. It's a big one. But I really believe Pastor Denise and God put it on my heart to do this podcast because it's so important. It's such a huge motivator.

Yes, it is.

In our Life and we don't even know it's there. It's the push on the inside, the anxiousness, the unfulfilledness, the wandering I ness that we don't understand why we have it. So we're going to tackle it today. So, yes, first of all, I really feel like we need to pray and ask the Lord to anoint us today. So, God, we just come into your presence, Father, and I just know that you are a healer because you've done it in my life. You've done it in so many people's lives that I know, that I love. Same with Pastor Denise. She's helped thousands and thousands and countless people. But we've got to get revelation.

Yes.

We cannot crush the head of a devil we don't know that's operating in our life. And today I pray that you anoint me and Pastor Denise to bring wisdom and revelation to people's lives so that freedom can come. In Jesus name. Amen.

In Jesus name.

Jesus name. Amen. So, soul ties, Pastor Denise, what is a soul tie?

Well, a soul tie, Pastor Hope, as you know, it's hidden, but it's a connection you make, an emotional connection that you make to someone that's outside of the will of God for your life. Okay. And because it's an emotional connection, you think it's right. It may feel right at the moment. Because, you know, in Psalms 107, verse 9, it says that we all have a longing in our soul.

Yeah.

And only. Yeah. It's a longing. It's like there's this deep longing for something or someone. And the minute you connect to someone, someone that may meet an emotional need that you have, you think that that is what you need and that the longing is now feel so good and it's field. No, you will be restless continuing trying to figure out what is. I'm still. I'm longing for something. But this person or this, you know, this relationship, this is it. But yet no, because you know, you know, it's. You know, the restlessness is telling you, but your longing is being fulfilled. It's interesting, isn't it?

Yeah. Momentarily.

Momentarily.

Yeah.

And then you leave that person. So you're connect. It's an emotional connection. Yeah.

So it doesn't have to be sex. I think a lot of people have preached and taught that, you know, that's. That is the soul ties. When the sexual act happens, it can be part of it, but it doesn't have to be. It could be a friend.

It can. It can be a friend. And it really Is a. It creates a codependent relationship that you feel like you have to have that person. When there's a soul tie, then you feel like you are not. You have to have them. You have to have them. You have to get on the phone. You have to have them. And because your soul connection to them is. It's like you are. It's really such a draw that you feel like you can't even get free. I have to have them.

Because the soul itself is your mind, your emotions. That's why you said at the beginning, a soul tie is an emotional. It is connection. It's the feels, it's the feelings. Oh, they make me feel so good. They make me happy. That's a big one.

That's the big one. It makes you happy because, listen. And it is. It's all just emotions. It's just emotional. It's all it is. And so the high you get then keeps you going back for more.

Yes. It's just like the high you would get going shopping if somebody gave you $1,000 and you had a shopping spree. And that feeling you get, those emotions, those. Oh, this is amazing. Oh, if I could just do this every weekend. Oh, I think I'll go gambling to get some more money so I can go do this every weekend. And then it just goes.

Exactly. And you spiral down.

Yeah. And it makes me so nervous because I was in that position of saying, and I wrote this in my book, one of the red flags is wanting to be happy.

Exactly.

That's a huge red flag. And when I hear people say it, like, you know, don't I deserve to be happy? You know, and in the natural way, you know, that's a legitimate question to ask. I don't think God wants us to walk around miserable, but I do believe in his will. There is a cross to bear. There is a dying to self that most people just don't want at all. None of us want to die. You know, nobody does. But, you know, when we learn to die daily, our flesh stops that crying out. And we want what God wants more than we want what we want.

Exactly.

I think that's the basis of the Christian relationship anyway.

It is. It is. And there's no other place of peace and rest and deep joy than being connected in what God's will is for you. It's so satisfying. That satisfies your soul.

It does.

All this other does not. Yeah.

And, you know, it's kind of tricky because, you know, we. We're in ministry, and so most of the people that we are in relationship with is ministry people. So I just think about the people who, who don't even know the Lord, who, who are so bound by these emotional ties and soul ties and that they're just in a never ending cycle of codependent relationships, codependent marriages that never work. That's right. But what's even harder is what we see in ministry when we should know better, you know, when we got the truth. And you hear pastors, you hear leaders saying, I'm just going to get a divorce. I just want to be, I deserve to be happy. I've been miserable in this marriage for 10 years.

Yes, yes. And I. Yeah, what about that pastor?

Talk to that.

Goodness. I've been miserable. Yeah. For 10 years. And now I found somebody that's gonna make me happy. Okay?

And you want to scream for just a minute. They only go, make you happy just a minute till that. It's just like, you know, when we.

Eat, the high is gone. I mean, yeah, it's that high. Just a second surge of adrenaline, you.

Know, it's just like our natural body. We wake up really, really hungry. We go eat, then we get satisfied, but that body's gonna get hungry again.

Again.

It's just like the soul, the soul, when it's not satisfied by the proper source.

Exactly.

Stays longing all the time.

It's a longing and it just goes on and on. One thing that I, pastor, hope that I am seeing so much and pastors and leaders, and that it's like, okay, they realize, they realize that, okay, I have got to pull myself in. I know I'm getting out there a little bit, but I deserve that. Don't I deserve this? Don't I deserve to just have a little fun sometime? A little thing here, fling there? No, because if you, if you do that, if you give in to it, you make this emotional connection and all of a sudden you are satisfying your soul with something that is not of God. Okay, Then you are. Now it's like you can't, you feel like you can't get free. I gotta have more, I gotta have more. I gotta have more, I gotta have more. And there's an. And I just want to say that there's an addictive component here.

Yeah.

With a soul tie. And it's because it's not going to satisfy you. The need to have more and more is. You think, well, if I have a little more, if we spend a little more time on the phone, maybe we go to lunch and oh, let's have a longer lunch. You're just trying.

Vacation.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's go on vacation together.

Let's just go on vacation together and all that. Yeah, but the thing is, you're trying to make this thing work. That will not ever work. No soul tie will not ever satisfy you. And so it's just going to lead you to destruction. And what about the lies?

Let's talk about the lies, Pastor Denise. Like, once you start feeling that, that, oh, this feels good, that makes me happy. That's an open door for the enemy to come in and start telling you this is what you need.

Exactly.

Your husband is xyz. That's why you don't feel like this with him. And look at all his faults and look at all his issues, and this person doesn't have any of those. And so it's the lies. You. And then they become what?

That's right.

A stronghold in your life. Talk about that.

Yes, the lies. Okay. The lies of the enemy. You know, in Psalms, it says our anxious thoughts will actually multiply. They multiply? Yeah. So the first moment that you embrace the lie and you embrace it, like, oh, then it will continue to multiply and get stronger. That's what creates the stronghold. Okay. So that first lie, and day by day, they multiply daily. And so that's why you get in a stronghold and you feel that. You just feel entrapped by it. And you are, because you have given over. You've given in to this. This longing that you had and yet not realize. You don't realize it at first.

Yeah.

Until you're trapped.

You really don't because you're so broke. I think the reason is. Well, I think we need to go back. The reason we have a longing, anyway, we'll talk about that. Is the emotional needs. But you're so broken once you get in that. Once you're in that state, you're an adult. You know, you start 16, 18, 22, 32, these ages, and you come into adulthood and you're so broken and you're so wounded and whatever. For whatever reason, everybody's is different. And you feel that bit of relief. You're just in such a broken state. Anything. Just a drop.

A drop.

It's like you've been quenched for a minute.

You know what a drop of attention.

Yes.

Can make you feel like. Oh, they really.

They love me.

They love me. They really understand me. Do you know that's one of the biggest ones. They understand me. My husband doesn't understand me. My wife doesn't understand me. And so now, because you've got all these unmet needs, this need for acceptance, appreciation. Then if somebody gives you one drop of attention, you need it. You're needing a one little drop.

Yeah.

Then, oh, I'm understood now. Finally.

Yeah.

And it's a lie. You're not understood. No, no, no.

And.

And that one little drop, okay, that drop is. You're. You're. You're building everything, basing everything on one drop of attention from the wrong source, and it just draws you over.

But it feels so good.

It does feel.

In the moment. In the moment, in the moment. So. So the reason we even get to this state and don't know the difference between what's really real, what does God want for me, and what is the enemy setting up in my life because I am so broken is because we didn't get what we needed as kids. And it's not a slap on our parents. I mean, we are all broken. We're born into sin. Everybody's got their own issues. So we grow up and everybody has dysfunctional families. Amen. Everybody does. And even with great intentions, you know, ministers, pastors, we're raising our kids in dysfunctional homes. And we all jacked up for Jesus. That's what I say. We all jacked up. But, you know, we go into adulthood because we didn't get what we should have got. The real. The unconditional love. Real, real. God's love.

Didn't give it. Didn't get it.

We didn't get it. They couldn't give it because they were broken.

They were broken. They were empty.

Yes.

They had nothing to pour into us. And so we leave home searching for something to satisfy this emptiness, these emotional needs that should have been met daily. And that's part of it, too. I have so many people, Pastor Hope. This is. Oh, I came from a good home. And, yeah, they came from a good home. But if it wasn't daily, daily, daily, that you. That need for a affirmation of who you really are. Okay, then you're still. You still got an empty place where you're searching for somebody to affirm you. Yeah. Pour into you and affirm who you are. And then if that wrong person comes in and says, oh, you know, you're everything.

You're wonderful.

Exactly.

And attention is a big one.

Exactly.

Attention is a huge one. I just think, you know, we think we're giving our kids attention by being in the room while we put on a movie and let them watch a movie, and we're over here on the phone or we're over Here, cooking. That's not attention. I remember you telling me one time that the way it's supposed to be is actually coming into their world.

Into their world.

Not. Not making them come into mine.

No, no.

Yes.

You enter their world with them.

Yes.

Enter their world.

You play Barbie.

Exactly.

You build blocks.

Exactly. That's what they're doing.

Ride them on your back.

I know.

They just. They need us to come into their world. And I just wonder how many people are just sitting here, light bulbs going off, listening to this saying, My parents never came into my world.

I know.

I never remember one time my mama playing a board game with me, or my dad never went outside and pushed me in the swing. You know, that we were just nuisances or, you know, I just wonder how many people are listening to this and that lie.

I'm a nuisance.

Yeah.

And. But see, if you didn't get it in the home. Okay. And you began to go outside the home even as a teenager to get this need for attention met then, even in marriage, you have been structured now to go outside the home to get attention.

Pastor Denise.

Look at that.

Yeah. Say it again. As a teenage. She said, as a teenager, if you didn't get it so you wanted to run outside the home to your friends, to a party, you already set the structure in your brain.

It's set.

As an adult, I gotta leave home.

Even my marriage, to get this attention. It's just. It's set. And that's why it doesn't even feel like there's anything wrong when you do it, because you. It's Jesus. Yeah. You see how that works? And so we have to recognize these unmet needs and what we're doing, this extreme stuff we're doing, trying to get them met outside.

That right there. I really believe that. Right there. Just set somebody free.

Yes.

I'm already free. And I got set free again on that one. That was so good.

Yeah. Yeah.

Just something that small, you know, the structures we set up, our coping, what we do to cope, to get our needs met.

Exactly. Exactly.

If it worked when I was a teenager and I didn't feel loved or accepted in my home, and I got it when I went to the party.

Then it must work.

When I don't feel it in my home, when I'm 35, married for 10 years with two kids.

Right, exactly. And so it's just like, well, we'll go outside the home. So it's. It's a structure that has been set. And I want to tell you something. That mindset Is like a stronghold that tells you you're not going to get it here. You're going to have to go out there. And it's a way of thinking. Okay? It's a way of thinking. And look, and. And it's not just that you're the only one thinking that way. You go on. I mean, everybody thinks that way. Yeah.

Yeah.

So many.

Yeah. And if you.

If you call a girlfriend, say, hey, you know, I. I just. I'm not. My husband's just. He just.

He don't understand me.

Understand me. Let's go. Okay. Yeah, let's go. Mine doesn't either. So. So it's like.

So that is the codependent relationship.

Codependent relationship.

When you build a relationship, the same unmet need. I'm gonna give you what you need, and you gonna give me what I need. So you become enmeshed together with unholy.

Ties and unhealthy people.

Yeah.

And. Yeah. Oh, goodness. I can feel people pulling off the side.

I can, too. I can do. This is life giving right here. This is. This is life giving and it's life changing. You get a hold of this. You get a hold of this. This will change your life if you let it. I mean, if you let the. If you let the scales of your eyes open up and say, wow, that's me. Oh, man. Instead of being defensive and saying, but you don't understand. But you don't understand what I live with. You don't understand what I've been through. If we could just stop and just let it sink in and just let. Let us look at ourselves.

Exactly.

That's where real healing comes, is not looking at somebody else. It's looking at ourselves, looking at herself.

And look, you've got to own your own feelings, okay? And not let someone else dictate how you're listen. Because you've got to say, okay, I did grow up that way. I felt, you know, I felt all alone. I felt misunderstood. I felt. Own your feelings, okay? But don't let them dictate the rest of your life.

Right.

You gotta own it. Say, okay, so what have I been doing because of that? You know, you've got to own it and recognize it so you can. You can shepherd your soul and bring yourself back in. Because, look, we like sheep, go astray. The soul, he warned us.

Scripture warned us.

That's the sheep part of you. Yeah. Thinks the grass is greener on the other side. That's the sheep part of you that just strays away and goes over here. No, pull Yourself back in. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm doing this because of an emptiness in my soul from when I was 10 years old.

But we think we're doing it because of the person we're living with.

No, it's not it at all. No. We're just putting the blame on that.

Yes.

Instead of owning what's going on in you, you gotta own it. You gotta see it. This is an emptiness in my own soul. And it. And. Yeah. Because the longer you're blaming, see. No.

Yeah.

So you gotta own it yourself and. But recognize where the emptiness is coming from.

Right. And we all have it. We all have it. There's nothing wrong with you. If you're listening and you say, well, I do have all this emptiness. I do have all this. These cups in my life that were never filled.

There's never filled.

You're not isolated. You're not on an is, and you're not a part of the broken people of the church. And then there's the whole people that. We're all just. Let's just. We all have issues.

That's right.

And we all got to pursue wholeness.

So we have to pursue wholeness. And then. And then. And you know what? To be healthy, you're going to have to surround yourself with other healthy people that can help you and pull you back around. Because you know, if you are just, you know, if you form these codependent relationships, you've got these soul ties, it.

Don'T work to go back to them. And you can't balance both. You can't. I remember. I want us to transition now, Pastor, into how do I get free? They're all listening, saying, okay, I got it, I got it, I got it. I'm owning it. But how do I get free? And I remember when I was there with you, and I remember early on day. Day three, four, five, early. I was there nine months, and I remember you saying, this person's gotta go in your life. This person' got to go in your life. And I was like, but they love me.

No. They love what they can get from you. No.

And I had to. Yeah. I had to cut every relationship, didn't I? I had to cut out. I had nobody. I had no friends. I didn't even have a husband at that point. I. I did. I didn't see my kids but once a month, it was just me and God and you and. And the alpacas and the horses and. And your grandbabies. I got to love on your grandbabies, but I did I had to. I had to make a really tough decision, but I'm forever grateful for it now that. That I had to just cut every relationship from my life. That was not healthy. That was not God ordained. That was pulling me away from my call, from what God had planned for me. That was enabling my bad behavior. I had to cut away every relationship. So that's step one. You got to recognize who's making you feel good. You gotta be willing to cut it from your life. And then I remember you said this. This was so powerful. And I've told so many people this since they were like, well, how do I get free? And then talk about this. But then I said, well, what have they given you? What's your attack? What's your physical attachments to it? Talk about that.

Yes, yes. Because. See you. Okay, so any of us, when we develop these soul ties, we are connecting them because we're needing something from them, okay? But it's costing us way too much. It's costing us everything to get that little drop from them, okay? So you've got to recognize you've got a. Psalms 131 says you've got to wean yourself from it because you're attaching to get something, but you gotta identify. What was I trying to. What was I getting from that? Yeah, what was it? Just a little tiny drop of something. And. But when you cut that and you set that internal boundary for yourself, then you can receive the fullness from God that he has for you. Because that drop was not worth you losing your life.

No, no, no, no.

You're losing so much just to get that little drop. So I always say, look at the 10 emotional needs. What is it that you're. What you're getting from that person? Well, they make me laugh. That person makes me laugh. Okay, but. Or that person is. They're always telling me my hair looks good, you know, so you say you're. You're willing to give up everything just to stay connected to this very unhealthy person because they always give you a compliment. No, wean yourself from that. You don't need that. And. But the thing is, you've got to identify what you're getting from them.

And.

But then also, what are they taking from you? What are they taking from you? They're taking something that they're taking. Your integrity. Yeah, they're taking. Okay, if it's a codependent relationship, there's something that they are taking from you, and you're giving it up. Yeah, you've got to take Back what you've lost because of them. Okay. So you give them, say, I'm not. I'm not gonna. I don't need this attention from you anymore. I don't need this from this one anymore. No, I don't need this anymore. So you. You have to wean yourself from it. You have to even say it out loud. Yeah. I'm no longer gonna look to them, call their name. Yeah.

Yeah. And even look around the things in your house. I remember I had to go back to, like, clothes or pictures from a trip or, you know, things like that. Like little trinkets they had given me or whatever. A necklace at best friend. You know, bf. And they carry BF and they carry the F. You know, best friends forever. Throw it away.

Throw it away. Because that keeps the soul tie connection. Because every time you see the necklace, you're like.

You think, and then you feel.

You feel it.

Then when you see it, you feel.

It, and then you'll feel it. So. No, this. Yeah. You have to remove anything that brings that emotional connection feeling back. No. Get rid of that. And so. And so there's a. It's a purging, really. It is a purging.

It's painful. It's so painful, though. It is so pain. I need to let you know when you're listening. It is very painful. And it's not just something you can just say, okay, I'm gonna go get rid of these. No, you're not. It's not gonna be that easy because it does make you feel loved. It does make you feel appreciated. They do make you feel like you're important. They do make you feel like you're of worth or value or that your words matter. You know, that you maybe have never felt that before, but the Bible tells us we don't. We're not supp. Get our worth from people. You're not even supposed to get your worth from a healthy tie. From a person, from a great person, from a good mom and dad, from a husband who loves you unconditionally. That is not where we get our worth or our value. Listen, if everybody was stripped from your life, what could you lose? And not lose who you really are.

Exactly.

In Christ. Everything we are, the Bible says, is in Christ.

That's right.

It's in Christ.

Yeah. I am complete in him.

Yes.

I'm not complete because of this person. No.

No.

And so. And that's part of the lie that you feel like you can't do without them. Yeah. And see, that's when that's when you know, that's when you know, oh, this is unhealthy because I'm trying to use them to complete me. No, I'm completing Christ. And so, you know, I've seen this.

Pastor when I've seen, like, healthy people lose a spouse.

Yeah, good.

I mean, godly grounded. And they are. Okay.

Yeah.

They're not in a corner. They're not shriveled up. They're not, you know, caving in. They miss their spouse. They loved their spouse, but they are completely fine because they are completely whole in him.

In him. That's right. And that's it. It's Christ in me. It's Christ in me. I am complete with him. And so. And. And, you know, we've just got to help people understand that, because that's. That's the only way you're gonna have that fullness. I know that's the only way. Yeah. And. And you're right, because otherwise, I mean, I've seen the same thing.

Yeah. I've seen people. I mean, in recent days, you know, several years. And just looking back over the years, some lady loses a husband. I mean, she can barely make it.

Yeah, I know.

And just can't get it together. And then another lady loses a husband and she's flourishing.

That's right.

And it's not an indictment on her love for her or not enough love for her husband. It just shows how healthy.

Exactly. Exactly. And do you. And I want to ask people this. Do you know what? Okay. Because I've had people that lost a spouse and said, I don't even know where I like to eat. I don't even know, because he made all those decisions. I don't even know what to wear because he would choose that. I don't even know where to go. I don't even know.

Goodness gracious.

You know, because you. If you are that codependent, then you don't. You've lost yourself.

Yeah.

You don't know. And so that's part of getting yourself back and is that you know what you like and what you don't like, and you can make those decisions.

And so it can't like what you're saying. It can happen in a. In a marriage. It can. Yeah. We're not necessarily just talking about. Outside of a marriage or a friendship. This can happen in marriage.

Exactly. And so if your husband. If you're listening right now, and your husband says, what do you want for dinner tonight? You say, what you want for dinner. Yeah. Don't say, I don't know.

Whatever you want.

You say what you want for dinner and I like. Or if he says, I want to take you to dinner, where do you want to go? Then you tell where you want to go. You. You know, don't be afraid that you have to cow down and have no opinion of your own.

Right.

You've got to know who you are. So that's another topic.

It is. That's another day, another. That's another retreat.

These soul ties broken, because that's deplete. Do you know that you'll be scattered. The more soul ties you have, it scatters you.

Yeah.

You're so scattered.

Add.

I know you can't focus. Part of you to this person, part of you, that person you pulled. Never settled.

Never settled. I remember coming home from being with you, and I remember telling you, for the first time in my life, I love being in my house. I know.

I remember. I remember.

I love just. I mean, I'm so content. Yes. Just sitting and just being here. Prior to going through healing, I remember waking up and it was like the Energizer Bunny on the inside of me. And I was like, well, what should I do? Should I go to Target? Should I jump in the car and ride to Charlotte? Should I call this person? There was no contentment.

No contentment whatsoever.

And I'm sure there's people listening right now saying, you are describing me. Let me tell you something. If you're listening, you can be free. You can be free. But you gotta make some tough choices. You gotta make some. Draw some hard lines in your life. You gotta see. First of all, you gotta go back and say and recognize and admit what you didn't get. You gotta say, I did not get. Pastor Denise. They may not have ever heard of the 10 emotional needs. Maybe we need to tell them that. And maybe we can put them right here on the screen. We'll put these on the screen for you, the 10 emotional needs. We'll do that. And so they can see and then go back. And I want you to sit down and think about your childhood and say, did my mom and dad give me security?

That's right.

Or did I hear them argue all the time and wonder, will they divorce today? Will they split up? Will they separate again? Was I secure as a child? You're going to have to evaluate your life. Remember, it's not an indictment against your parents. It's just trying to figure out why.

You do what you do today, where your empty places are. Yes, I'm empty. I don't have. I don't Feel secure. But it's. It's not. It's. It's going back to that unmet need that should have been met and it wasn't. But now that's part of why you're going in so many directions, trying to attach in these unhealthy relationships, trying to feel secure. So you have to go back and recognize what's in, you know, where the emptiness is coming from.

A very practical thing you did with me was we got the whiteboard, the old fashioned whiteboard.

Yeah, we did.

And we took the emotional needs and maybe those of you listening could do this or write it on a piece of paper, whatever. But I remember if it was acceptance, then I had to write under that. The exercise you gave me was to write who in my life now made me feel accepted.

Right. I remember.

And so that's how you identify. Okay. And then the hard place after that is going to be, okay, I have got to cut these out of my life. You say, well, how do I do that? You have to make a phone call. You have to have a hard conversation and just say, God's doing something in me. And I'm just having to isolate myself right now. And I'm just trying to let God go deep in me, you know? You don't have to say you're an unhealthy relationship and I don't need to do nothing with you anymore.

No, no, you don't have to do that. You just. Yeah, you don't have to.

You just pull away.

You just say, I am. I'm just having to pull back from relationships and just spend time getting my heart healed and whole.

And I can promise you one thing, if you're listening, they might grieve your loss, but they won't grieve it long because they'll go on to the next place they can suck blood.

Exactly. Exactly.

The next place they can suck blood, they'll find another unhealthy relationship very quickly.

Very quickly.

Yes, they will.

And just. And because you're hearing us say that, then don't. You spiral down when you see that it's predictable. They will.

They will. And God's protecting you. God's providing a way out.

Exactly.

He's providing a way out for you. So good. It's so good, Pastor Denise. This is so good. Tell people listening how they can get more of you, more information, more healing. You have retreats. You have healing the heart retreats. You have marriage retreats, Esther retreats, men retreats, women retreats. I mean livingwaters, ministry.com.

Livingwaters ministry.com. and yes, you can go online, you can check all of the retreats. And then we, we even do zoom classes now, Heal the heart classes where you can sign up and, and just really be in a group that helps you process unmet needs because. And then you're hearing somebody else that's like, oh, wow, I'm not the only one.

It really does, it really helps you.

It does, it helps you.

And then you're going to be in San Jose, California. You're gonna be in San Jose, California in July. So we'll put that information here on the screen so it's in person. It is a, we call it a weekend intensive, a healing the heart intensive weekend where you'll be in a room with other people and Pastor Denise is gonna be pouring in, she's gonna be teaching. And it really is life changing. You have to start somewhere.

You do.

You have to start somewhere. It's, it's not a one stop shop. You don't just say, okay, I'm gonna get healed today. But it is a process that you have to initiate and then it just begins to unfold in your life and you just get better and better and better and more healthy and more healthy and you more free. More free. More free. And we want this for you. We want this for you. We've experienced it. I've experienced it in my life in a radical way. Pastor Denise has experienced it in her life in a radical way. And we want it for you. Listen, I'm so glad you've been here today. Pastor Denise, we love you more than words could say, more than money could give, more than a flower could ever smell up your house. We love you and we appreciate the gift of God on your life, the anointing on your life for healing. And so today, would you just end in prayer for those listening that God would enable them, that God would give them a fresh outpouring of grace to initiate the process.

Yes, Father. I thank you. That, Father, that you are going to pour out.

Yes.

That fresh anointing of grace that they will be able to receive. And Lord, that it will awaken their spirit and they'll have hope that they can break free of these unhealthy soul ties. And Lord, that it. That as they've heard today, Lord, it's given them hope.

Yes.

And so, Father, I pray that you will lead each one either to sign up to come to San Jose to the weekend intensive retreat, Lord, or that they'll go on our website and sign up for a retreat there Lord, that they will take that step. Lord, I just pray that each one will take a step right now, right now. Take a step in the right direction. Lord, we thank you and praise you that you provided a way, Lord Jesus, for all of our freedom. You came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captive free. So thank you, Jesus.

Amen.

Amen, Amen and amen. Thank you, Lord.

If you don't fight, you don't win.

That's right.

You don't fight, you don't win. You have to start somewhere. So I pray that this podcast ignited something in you and enabled you today to say, I've got some unhealthy relationships that I need to just cut nip in the bud so that God can get my life set in order and healthy so that I could be used by him, so that I could really be helping, happy, so that I could really be free. We love you here at Ron and Hope Unfiltered. Until next time. God bless you.