5 Self-Love Tips to Boost Your Self-Esteem | Jack Canfield

Hi, I'm Jack Canfield and today I want to give you some powerful tips that will boost your self esteem and give you the confidence you need to accomplish anything you want. You know, the longest, deepest, most important love affair you'll ever experience is the one you have with yourself. But for most of us, the idea of loving ourselves seems kind of selfish or egotistical. We think it's better for us to direct our love outward rather than inward. But when we don't fully love ourselves, don't fully accept ourselves, it becomes easy to slip into a negative mindset. We tell ourselves that we're not worthy, that we're not good enough or smart enough to deserve the life we want. We stop ourselves from taking chances or trying new things by telling ourselves that any effort we make will only end in failure. I'm sure you know what I mean. All of us get stuck in a negative mindset at some point in our life. Now you may start to feel like you can't do anything right or that things never go your way and it's hard to snap yourself out of it. That's why today I'd like to share five effective strategies that will pull you out of a negative, self deprecating mindset and help you remember how amazing you truly are so you can find the confidence and the courage to become the person you were always meant to be. Now the first strategy is to practice gratitude. I can't overstate how powerful this is. When you make the effort to recognize everything you have to be grateful for, you will find more and more things to be grateful for, including your own abilities and accomplishments. Now one of the things I recommend is you keep a gratitude journal. Now you can write in it at least once a day. It could be first thing in the morning, or it could be last thing at night. But what I want you to do is, is to write down, take maybe 3, 4, 5 minutes and write down as many things as you can think of that you're grateful for. And sometimes it's simply, I'm grateful that I'm alive and grateful that I have a job, that I have a car, that I have a house that is sunny out, that my cat's happy, my dog is alive, that I get to go for walks by the river. And then sometimes there are bigger things to be grateful for. You've got the love of your life, you just got a promotion, you know, those kind of things. But every day, take time to write in your gratitude journal. If you're in a big hurry, write down at least 10 things that you're grateful for if you have time. And I recommend you take that time. You know, take up to five, six, seven minutes and just make a list. And many days there's going to be repetitive of things you said before, but it brings your attention back to gratitude. I was just watching a thing with Oprah Winfrey where she was on television and she said the first thing she does when she gets up in the morning, she does not reach for her cell phone. She said, the reason I'm successful is I'm not drowning in the negativity of the news of the World. I simply take time and I notice what I'm grateful for and I get out of bed in a state of gratitude. She said that sets the tone for her whole day. It's also what I do and I recommend to you now, when you take stock of everything that's actually going right in your life, that negative voice in your head, I promise it won't be as loud. And that's why I encourage everyone to keep a gratitude journal. Now, one thing you can do is at the end of the day, take the time to write down each thing, no matter how small it seems, that you were thankful for during the day. Now this makes your good days even better. And it's also a beautiful way to remind yourself how good your life really is. And also be sure to pay your gratitude forward when you feel grateful for people in your life and the things they've done for you. Let them know about it. Tell them you see and appreciate what they do and what they've done for you and what they do for others. This allows you to pass that positive energy on to them and boost their self esteem as well. That can be done verbally, can be done in writing, can be done with email or a card, but take time to appreciate others. Now the second strategy for boosting your self esteem is to celebrate your successes. So schedule some time to write down. Now this is going to sound challenging, but it's doable. Up to 101 accomplishments you've achieved in your life. Now to get to 101, they don't all have to be big achievements. They can be as simple as graduating high school, getting your driver's license, making the soccer team or the band in high school, getting a part in the school play, learning to play the guitar or the piano, buying your first car, getting into college, getting into a fraternity or a sorority, becoming a sergeant in the military, getting your first job, getting a promotion, giving your first talk, getting your realtor's license, getting married, giving birth, successfully raising good kids, maybe running a 10k, conducting a fundraiser, singing in the church choir, getting your passport, traveling to a foreign country. Lots of things. Now here's the deal. Work to create as long a list as possible, even if you have to resort to things like past first grade, past second grade, past third grade, past fourth grade, survive Mrs. Zimmerman's biology class, and so on. The more you can see how much you've actually accomplished in your life over time and the more you'll recognize that you are capable of achieving in the future. Now my next tip is to do the mirror exercise. Now all you have to do is take a few minutes at the end of each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud what you appreciate about yourself and what you accomplish that day. Now be sure to mention everything you achieved, no matter how big or small, because it's important to give yourself credit for the small things too. You got up on time. You stuck to your diet. You took the dog for a walk after dinner. Whatever it is now, if you feel good about it, you should acknowledge it to yourself. And then once you thank yourself for everything you accomplished that day, look yourself in the eye and simply say I love you to yourself. And then hold eye contact for a second. Now that might seem awkward at first and you might feel a bit silly, but if you do it every night, I guarantee it will change the way you feel about yourself. If you you know, one of my students has done this every night for more than five years and I can tell you the difference in both her self esteem and her personality has been amazing. Now my fourth tip is to practice using daily positive affirmations. Daily affirmations are the best way to replace those negative thoughts that don't serve you with positive thoughts that build you up and give you the confidence you need to achieve your goals. Now I recommend two different kinds of affirmations when working with your self esteem. The first are affirmations that affirm positive things about yourself. These would include statements like I am competent, smart and able. I deserve to be happy and successful. I am growing and changing for the better. I love the person I am becoming. I am self reliant and persistent in whatever I do. I always do my best and that's enough. I am self reliant, creative and persistent. I am worthy of all the good things that happened in my life. Now. Also, because a big part of self esteem is feeling competent to achieve what you set out to do, you can also use affirmations as a tool to achieve the goals that you set for yourself. And these would include affirmations like I am so happy and grateful that I've lost 30 pounds and feel healthy and strong in my body. And by anchoring your affirmations in an emotion such as happiness or gratitude, you motivate yourself to want to experience that emotion for real. And by stating your goal is already achieved, you create a dynamic cognitive tension in your subconscious mind between what you're affirming, what you want, what your goal is, and what the current reality is that you don't currently have. For example, you're currently overweight, but your goal is you want to weigh 175 pounds. Now, that will actually stimulate your unconscious creative mind to resolve that tension by coming up with solutions for you and thereby moving you closer to your goal. Now, my final tip to boost your self esteem is to accept that you are 100% responsible for your life and everything in it. Now, it's easy to play the blame game and say it's other people's fault or that you're a victim of circumstances when life doesn't go your way. But the truth is you are the only one who has control over your life. Which means you're the only one who can change your life for the better. And once you recognize this, you'll find it so much easier to improve your performance, learn from your mistakes and create a life you truly love. And with every new action you take and every goal you set for yourself and achieve, you'll boost your confidence and your self esteem even more. Now here's your homework to complete. After watching this video, choose one of the self loving self esteem building tips I just shared with you and commit to doing it every day for one week and then see how you feel about yourself afterwards. And if you have any questions or comments, please post them below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. So thank you for watching. And remember, nothing in your life will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one. And for some additional resources on positive thinking and affirmations, be sure to visit my website at jackhamfield. Com. Thanks again for watching.