Are You Lying to Yourself | Jack Canfield

Hi there, I'm Jack Canfield, and today I'm going to talk to you about how to get out of denial and come to terms with the things that are holding you back from success. If you're going to be successful, you have to get out of denial and face what isn't working in your life. Do you make excuses for your lack of results in your business or your career? Do you defend or ignore how toxic your work environment is? Do you make excuses for a bad marriage? Are you in denial about your lack of energy, your excess weight, or your ill health or your level of physical fitness? Successful people face these circumstances squarely. They heed the warning signs, and they take appropriate action, no matter how uncomfortable or how challenging it might be. So what does denial look like, though? The bad situations in our lives can be uncomfortable, embarrassing, and painful, and we often live with them. Or worse, we hide them behind myths, widely accepted views and platitudes. We don't even realize we're in denial. We use phrases such as, well, it's just what guys do. You can't control teenagers these days. He's just feigning his frustrations. It's got nothing to do with me, or it's none of my business, it's not my place to say, or I don't want to rock the boat. Occasionally we'll even pretend a situation is working when it isn't, not realizing that if we would just acknowledge the bad situation sooner, it would often become less painful to resolve, it would be cheaper, the circumstances might be more beneficial, and the problems would be easier to solve. We could be more honest with everyone concerned, and we would feel better about ourselves, and we would certainly have more integrity. But in order to accomplish this, we have to get past our denial. You see, successful people, on the other hand, are more committed to finding out why things are going wrong and fixing them than they are at defending their position or maintaining their ignorance. Now, a big part of getting out of denial is to get good at recognizing bad situations and then deciding to do something about them. You see, often denial is based on the notion that something even worse will happen if we stop our denial and take corrective action. In other words, we're afraid to face the truth. Many a therapist can tell you that in spite of overwhelming clues that their spouse is having an affair, many of their patients won't confront their spouse over it. They simply don't want to face the fact that the marriage might be over. Or they don't want to deal with the emotional stress and the physical inconvenience of a divorce. They don't want to deal with the financial upheaval or the possibility they might have to move or find a job. Though many of the situations I just described may require drastic changes in how you live, work and relate to others, remember that the solution to your problems isn't always to quit your job or get a divorce or fire the employee or ground your teenager. It may be more productive to choose less extreme alternatives, such as just having a discussion with your boss or getting into marriage counseling or setting some boundaries with your teenager, your co workers, your friends and your family, or maybe scaling back your expenditures or seeking competent professional health. Now, of course, these less drastic solutions still require you to face your fears and take action. But you have to face what isn't working first. And the good news is that the more you face uncomfortable situations, the better you get at it. When you face just one thing that isn't working, the next time you have the slightest inkling, you are more likely to take action immediately. And the sooner you take action, the easier it is to handle. I promise you. Now, as usual, I want to leave you with a bit of homework to complete after you're done watching this video. So take the time right now to to make a list of what isn't working in your life. Start with the seven major areas where we would normally have you set goals. What's not working financially in your career or your business in terms of having enough free time for family, having health and fitness? What's not working in your relationships? Your personal growth or making a contribution and making a difference in your life? And then ask yourself what's not working? How can I improve it? What requests can I make? What action steps can I take to get each of these situations to work out the way I would like them to? Do you need to talk to someone? Do you need to call a repairman? You need to ask someone for help? You need to learn a new skill or find a new resource? Maybe read a book about the topic or call an expert. Just make a plan to fix it now. Just choose one action you can take and then do it. And to hold yourself accountable, I want you to leave a comment below of at least one thing that you're going to take action to start fixing right now and I'll be sure to follow up with you. So thanks for watching. And remember my friend, nothing will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, I want you to make sure you like it and share it with a friend who may need it and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one. And for some additional resources on how to elevate your success and happiness, make sure to visit my website@jackcampfield.com.