Jack Canfield presents a short guidance talk on coping with the loss of a loved one, offering seven practical tips to process grief healthily. He explains that grief varies by person, reviews Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages, urges honoring feelings and self-care, recommends social support and grief groups, reassures viewers they will survive, and encourages trying Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping); he also references Dr. John Demartini and links additional resources on his website.
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Hi there. I'm Jack Canfield, and today I want to talk to you about how to deal with and overcome the loss of a loved one. You know, loss is an inevitable part of life. It's something every single one of us will have to deal with at some time, from the loss of a job or the loss of personal property to the loss of a family pet or the loss of close family members and friends, that the experience can be overwhelming and have a devastating impact on your ability to function. But no matter how painful the loss, the one thing I know for sure is you will survive it. And if you allow yourself, you may even gain new insights that will help you become a better person in the process. So I want to give you seven tips on how to approach grief in a way that allows you to transform even the most heartbreaking loss into something transformational. The first one is to understand that grief manifests itself in many ways and is different for everybody. There is no right way to grieve. How you experience and how you express your loss might be very different from the way another person processes their grief. And that's perfectly normal. So don't let anyone tell you that you're supposed to feel or act a certain way. You have to allow yourself to process your feelings in the way that feels right for you. Now, my second suggestion is to understand that wherever you are in the grieving process, that's where you need to be at that moment in time. I'm sure you've heard of the five stages of grief as outlined by Elisabeth Kubler Ross. The first stage is disbelief and denial. Then anger at the situation or the doctor or the driver of the other car. Sometimes even anger at the person who died, or even at God. And then the next step is bargaining. Usually with God. You'll say things and think things like, I'll do this if you'll just bring him back. Or, what if I devote the rest of my life to helping others? Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream? And then the next stage is one in which you experience deep feelings of emptiness and depression and then finally, acceptance, Reconnecting with the world, moving on and evolving. Now, everybody goes through these stages of grief at their own pace and in their own way. So if you feel like you're stuck in a particular stage, just be patient and be gentle with yourself. It just means that you haven't fully experienced and processed all the emotions associated with that stage yet. Which brings me to tip number three. When you're grieving, your feelings are real and they deserve to be acknowledged and honored. You have just experienced a devastating heartbreak. You can't just bury that or ignore it or pretend it isn't happening. You ultimately have to let yourself feel those emotions so that you can process them and release them. Too often I see people try to squash or ignore their anger or their sorrow and pretend that they're feeling better than they really are. But those overwhelming emotions are still there below the surface, preventing you from fully healing. It's better to acknowledge, experience and release your feelings than to try to bury them and let them fester inside you. Now, my fourth tip is that you have got to take care of yourself. No matter how bad you're feeling, you still need to ensure that your basic needs are being met. You have to take care of your health and pay the bills and make sure to eat and drink enough water and get enough sleep. Even if it just feels like you're going through the motions. It will make your grieving process so much easier if you're not creating more challenges in other areas of your life at the same time. But it's not enough to just make sure your basic needs are met. When it's time, after the initial shock has worn off, I want to encourage you to make the effort to do something nice for yourself. It could be redecorating your bedroom or going on a vacation with a close friend, or take a trip to the spa or treat yourself to a nice lunch. And when you notice yourself feeling lonely, remember to reach out to friends and go out for lunch or dinner or coffee. Plan and schedule opportunities to add more comfort and brightness to your life. Which brings me to my fifth tip. Remember that you are not alone. There will be times when you want to withdraw from the world and mourn in private, and that's okay, but only up to a point. There will be days when you don't have the energy to deal with other people and you need to focus on nurturing yourself. But there will also be times when you need to reach out to others and and let in their love and support. So make sure to schedule time with friends, family, loved ones, even if you don't think you're up to it. Also, consider joining a grief support group in your area. You'll be surprised at how much comfort you'll get simply by spending time with others who understand what you're going through and are happy to give you their love and support as you heal. Because you will heal. And that's my sixth tip. Remember that you will survive this. Now I know it may seem impossible at times. The grief may be so overwhelming you feel like you can't even breathe. But you will survive it. The pain will diminish over time. It will never go away completely, but you will learn to live with it and you will learn again how to laugh, how to love, and how to feel joy. And to help you with that, my seventh and final tip is is to explore tapping as a way to process and accelerate the release of your grief. Tapping therapy, or eft, which stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, is a great way to manage overwhelming emotion, and it can be very helpful when dealing with loss. Now, tapping is something similar to acupuncture or acupressure, and it's based on the idea that you store your emotions in your body and that by performing a series of rhythmic taps on nine specific scientifically documented acupuncture points on your face and your body, you can quickly release emotional and physical pain. Now, if you're curious to learn more about tapping, which I recommend, I've linked a video below that explains how it works. And I found tapping to be tremendously helpful in overcoming grief and processing other overwhelming emotions like guilt, shame and resentment as well. It's also a powerful tool that for setting intentions, releasing limiting beliefs, and installing new mindsets and behaviors that will serve you better in your life. So I encourage you to check it out. Finally, I'd like to leave you with one last thought. Losing someone important to you doesn't mean you'll go without this person's energy for the rest of your life. Every time you remember that person, you'll feel their energy and the impact they had on your life. And over time, that will shift your energy to the positive as well. My good friend, Dr. John Demartini has done a lot of research around human behavior and loss, and he believes, and I agree with him, that there's a spiritual energy that's available to people when they experience profound loss. If you open yourself to this energy, not only will it help you cope with and overcome the loss, it will help you grow as a person and push you to even greater heights, both personally and professionally. So even though loss is something we should never look forward to, it's comforting to know that the experience can actually help us become better people. Now, here's your homework to possibly complete after watching this video. If you've recently lost a loved one, remember that you will survive it, and tapping can help with that. I encourage you to try tapping as a way to accelerate the release of your grief, so check out the link below and remember, you will eventually grow as a person and find yourself stronger because of it. So thank you for watching. And remember, nothing in your life will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on dealing with loss, please visit my website@jackcampfield.com thanks again for watching.
