Embrace Your Inner Child | Jack Canfield

Hi, I'm Jack Canfield and today I want to talk to you about your inner child and how it impacts your life. And I'm going to give you some tips on how to make peace with your inner child so you can begin to overcome your deepest blocks and finally show up as your best self. Your inner child is the part of you that was formed by the experiences you had in your childhood. And it has a powerful influence on how you show up in the world as an adult. If you find yourself engaging in self destructive behavior, or sabotaging yourself with negative self talk, or reacting too impulsively to situations with anger, frustration, jealousy or fear, that is almost certainly a function of your wounded inner child acting out in anger or pain. And that's why it's so important to make peace with your inner child and heal whatever wounds you experienced as a child so you can overcome the blocks that have been holding you back from unlocking your full potential and become the person you're truly meant to be. First, let's talk about what your inner child is. Basically, it's your original state of innocence. The playful, inquisitive, sensitive child you once were. It's not about being childish and immature. It's about being childlike and experiencing the world in a state of wonder and a state of curiosity. However, because your inner child is so sensitive, he or she can be easily wounded, especially when exposed to pain and trauma. And we all know how painful and traumatic growing up can be. Even the people who love us most can say and do things that hurt us and impact our self esteem. But the wounds that were inflicted on your inner child won't go away unless you acknowledge them and put in the time and effort to heal them. But most of us don't want to do that. Most of us are afraid to go back and revisit those experiences that hurt us deeply as children. So we tell ourselves to simply grow up and hide away our pain and pretend it never happened. And as a result, our inner child remains wounded, scared and miserable inside of us and causes us to act out in ways that prevent us from experiencing more happiness and more fulfillment in life. So today I'd like to teach you some ways to give your inner child what he or she needs to thrive. So you can overcome your deepest blocks, unlock your ability to show up as your best self and create the life you want. So the first step is to let your inner child know how much you love him or her. Because all children need love. Now think back to who you were when you were 5, 6, or 8 years old? What did you love to do back then? What did you dream of? What did you hope for? What kind of person did you want to grow up to be? What experiences did you want to have? Well, that child is still a part of you and he or she deserves all the unconditional love in the world. So make sure your inner child knows that One simple way to do that is to simply look into a mirror every night before you go to bed and say three things I love about you today are and then fill in the blank. Or you can close your eyes, imagine what your inner child looks like, the four, five, six or seven year old self, and imagine saying it to them. Now these are both simple but powerful practices. Something else all children need from the people around them is patience. Children are in a constant state of learning, and learning involves mistakes. Mistakes, you see, are a natural part of the learning process. So if you're ever angry or frustrated with yourself for the mistakes you've made in the far or recent past, or if you're upset with yourself for not being further along in your life or your career, practice being more patient with yourself. You see, achieving your goals often takes longer than you want because most people set deadlines for their goals without really knowing about everything that will will be required to achieve them. Now, as I've stated several times in these videos, I usually set 21 goals every year and I usually achieve 75 to 80% of them in that time frame. But there are always several that I don't complete until the following one or two years. So if you're giving it your best efforts, be patient with yourself. You may have to learn more information and develop more new skills and more new relationships than you originally imagined would be needed. A couple of years ago, Patty, Aubrey and I became aware that our online Train the Trainer program would be extremely valuable for people transitioning out of collegiate, professional and Olympic sports careers because a large number of them want to be motivational speakers, trainers and success coaches. Now, we've been working on that initiative for almost two years, and only just recently were we able, after a long learning curve and a lot of networking, to to finally get in front of a large group of active and retired NFL players two days before the super bowl at the NFL Alumni Players association meeting in Atlanta. So it took a long time to get from our original idea to where we are now, and we thought we'd get there faster, but we didn't. Sometimes things just take as long as they take now. Years ago, when I used to lead 10 day workshops, I would teach everyone to juggle three tennis balls. And the reason I did that is that most people would get upset at themselves and every time they drop the ball, which is a lot when you're just first learning. Now, we would practice it for 15 to 20 minutes a day, every day of the workshop. And in the first few days, people would say, I can't do this. It's too hard. I'm not good at sports. I'm not good at physical things. I'll never learn to do this. What's the point of this anyway? What does this have to do with being more successful in life? Every time they would drop a ball, they would say, dammit or even worse, words. Now, on the third day, I replaced the tennis balls with cubically shaped bean bags that wouldn't bounce out of their hands so easily and wouldn't roll away when they dropped them on the floor, demonstrating the principle of, when you start something new, do it in baby steps and make it as easy as possible to be successful. Over time, everyone in that workshop learned to juggle. Now, little successes breed confidence, and that new confidence then leads to more success. Now, I also taught them to say, oh, what fun every time they drop the ball instead of saying, damn it or I can't do this, which is what most people were doing, replacing their negative self talk with positive self talk. Now, we also repeated the affirmation, every day, every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better. You know, it's interesting when I recently spoke with Mike Tyson, the former heavyweight champion of the world, who had won four 42 fights in his career with 40 of them knockouts. He said that was the same affirmation he used every day as he was training for his boxing matches. Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. Now, These are universal principles and practices that work. Now, I've also practiced using the phrase, oh, what fun throughout my life whenever I make a mistake. When I was coming home from Thailand, where I spoke with Mike Tyson, I missed my tight connection in Tokyo because my jet lag was so strong that. That it led me to read my flight number 33 as the gate number on my ticket. I didn't beat myself up about it. I just said, oh, what fun. Went to the nearest United service counter and was rebooked on a later flight to Chicago and then on to Los Angeles. Sure, I lost 12 hours due to that mistake, but so what? What good would it have done to beat myself up? None. Just like you, I'm human. And I also make mistakes. Now, usually, people that beat themselves up for not being perfect had parents who expected perfection from their children. And as adults, they've internalized those same expectations. I remember a participant in one of my seminars who graduated number two in her class from Caltech, which is an amazing accomplishment. But you know what her father said to her at graduation? In fact, it was the only thing he said the entire day. He said, why weren't you number one? Now, when you internalize those kind of standards and expectations, you end up living in constant stress and constant anxiety. And seldom is anything you do ever good enough. And that can lead to a kind of obsessive perfectionism that no one wants to be around. And it can lead to not engaging in the kind of manageable risks that are required for success for fear of failing and not measuring up. Either result is not healthy or productive. Now it's important to heal these internalized childhood beliefs about what is enough. Right now I'm writing a book with Dr. Lis Janell from Montreal, Quebec and Canada, tentatively titled Unstuck. It's a book on the Heart Freedom Method, which Lis developed. That is a powerful way to identify these internal beliefs and the childhood experiences that caused you to take them on. And I used the same method in my Breakthrough to Success seminars and my Train the Trainer programs. So. So you can learn how to use the method there. But also keep an eye out for the book when it comes out. If you're on my mailing list@jackcampfield.com, you'll be notified when it's published. Now, the next thing I encourage you to do is to give your inner child forgiveness. All of us at some point have felt shame, anger, or sadness over something we did or did not do in our lives. But the past is the past, and making mistakes is how you learn. So whatever horrible thing you think you did or failed to do, I want you to forgive yourself for doing it or not doing it. You were doing the best you could with the tools and knowledge you had at the time. It's okay to simply let that go now. Something else children need to do in order to thrive in life is to experience encouragement. Children need to know that someone believes in them and thinks they have what it takes to achieve their goals. So let your inner child know that he or she has the ability to accomplish anything he or she can imagine, because it's true. If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it. You just have to go through the steps to make it happen and not give up along the way. That's why encouragement is so important now. Finally, the thing that all children need to thrive is the opportunity to play. Because that's how children learn through play, by having fun and using their imagination and being curious about the world. So make sure your inner child has lots of opportunities to have fun in life. Pay attention to the things that fill you with delight and do more of them more often. Let joy be your GPS system that guides you and leads you in the direction of creating a life you love. Because when you do what you love, you'll never feel like you're working because you'll be having so much fun. So those are my tips on how to make peace with your inner child so you can enjoy showing up fully as your best self and make all your dreams come true. If you ever feel like you need help with healing your inner childhood wounds, I encourage you to take one of our trainings. Read our book on the Heart Freedom Method when it comes out, and also check out eft, or tapping as it's more commonly called. It's a powerful mind body technique that allows you to connect with your inner child and heal the emotional wounds that have been holding you back. So just Google EFT or Tapping therapy or search for information about it on my website where I have a book. I've written about it called Tapping into Ultimate Success and and you'll find lots of good stuff to get you started. Now I'd like to hear your thoughts after watching this video. Have you been providing your inner child with the love, the patience, the forgiveness, the encouragement, and the opportunities for joy that it deserves? And if not, what steps will you now take to make that happen? And if you feel so inspired, please leave a comment below with your answer. I'd love to read what you have to say, so thanks for watching. And remember, nothing in your life will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on how your inner child impacts your life, visit my website@jackcampfield.com and thanks again for watching.