How to Ask for What You Need Right Now | Jack Canfield

If you're like most people, you might find it difficult to ask for what you want. Our culture has popularized the idea that it's better to be strong and independent and that needing and asking for help is a sign of weakness. But the truth is everyone needs help and assistance in achieving their goals and their dreams. And if you talk to any successful person, they will tell you that it's only by asking that you're able to get the information, the resources, the guidance.

And the support that you need to.

To make your dreams a reality. In 1994, just two years before Steve Jobs returned to Apple, the company he co founded, Jobs was interviewed by the Santa Clara Valley Historical Association. In the video from his interview, he talks about the remarkable power of asking for what you want. What he said was, quote, now I've actually always found something to be very true, which is most people don't get those experiences they want because they never ask. Now, I've never found anybody who didn't want to help me when I've asked them for help. Now, Jobs went on to tell about the time when he was 12 years old that he decided to call Bill Hewlett, the co founder of Hewlett Packard, get this, at 12 years old, to ask for some spare parts to build a frequency counter. Hewlett's home phone number was in the Palo Alto phone book at the time, and he just looked it up. Not only did Hewlett readily agree to young Steve's request, but he offered him a summer job at his company assembling frequency counters. And Jobs went on to say, I've never found anyone who said no or hung up with the phone when I called and just asked. And when people ask me, I try to be as responsive to pay the debt of gratitude back. Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask. And that's what separates sometimes the people that do things from the people that just dream about them. You gotta act and you've gotta be willing to fail. You gotta be ready to crash and burn with people on the phone, with starting a company with whatever. If you're afraid of failing, you won't get very far. And during this whole pandemic crisis, this is especially true now more than ever, especially when there are so many people who are struggling. Maybe you're struggling with your finances or with taking care of your children while trying to work from home, or maybe you're isolating by yourself and are struggling with loneliness. Now is the time to reach out and ask for what you need and want. So today I would like to share seven questions that will help you learn how to ask for what you want in a way that is sure to help you get. But first, let me tell you a story about how the power of asking helped a young 20 year old Achieve something phenomenal. When Chad Bagracki was just 21 years old, he set out on a one man mission to clean up the banks of the Mississippi River. He lived on the banks of the Mississippi in Iowa and he noticed how much garbage, old tires, plastic bottles, even an abandoned refrigerator became lodged on the bank of his property. Now he started by basically taking an 18 foot boat that he had and he would go out in the water and he would pick up stuff on this outboard motorboat and he would take it to the dump. But eventually when he ran into more things like refrigerators and old car parts and things that were really heavy people, abandoned boats and all kinds of things running up on the shore, he realized he needed a crane and he needed a barge. And so what he did was he started asking people if they would lend him the money to buy a crane in a barge. First he started by asking local and state officials to help and. But they said no. But Chad refused to give up. He grabbed a phone book and he turned to the business listings. He said, what businesses have money? And he started working his way through the A's, asking local businesses if they would be willing to donate money or resources to his cause. He called Alcoa, the great aluminum company and he asked to speak to the top guy. And the secretary who answered said, you mean a CEO? He said, what's a CEO? Well, he ended up convincing the company to give him $8,400. Then he went to the next company in Anheuser Busch, the beer company. He got a hold of the director of environmental outreach and straight out asked her, will you give me some money? And she was like, who is this guy? He explained that he wanted to get rid of the garbage in the Mississippi river. And then she asked if he could show her a proposal. Now he didn't even know what that meant. What's the proposal? He asked her. But he was so genuine in his desire and so innocent perhaps that she said, I'll help you. And she managed to put together a proposal with him and they got it. Through sheer force and passion and determination, they were able to convince Anheuser Busch to give him $25,000. And he got his barge and he got his crane. Now the foundation that he started now has 12 full time staff members. And tens of thousands of volunteers every year. And they've raised millions of dollars in donations and they've removed more than 7 million pounds of trash from the Mississippi river shoreline. And in 2013, Chad was named Hero of the Year by CNN. And that's the power of knowing what you want and what you need and then asking for it. But I want to teach you how to use that same power for yourself. So here's a seven question activity from my new book, the Success Principles Workbook, that will help you overcome your reluctance to ask for support and learn how to frame your ask in a way that actually gets results. So first, answer this question. What do you need to ask for? What are you looking for? Maybe you need financial advice, maybe you need a loan, or maybe you need someone to do zoom or house party calls with your kids for an hour every day so you can focus on your work. Second, ask yourself the question, who do I need to ask? This has to be someone who's in a position to actually give you what you're looking for. Third, determine what exactly do you want to receive and you've got to be as specific as possible. How much of something and by when do you need it? Question four is how do you stop yourself from asking for it? You're usually scaring yourself by imagining they're saying no or having some other negative reaction. And then ask yourself, what's the cost of not asking for it? How will not asking for it negatively impact your life? And in question six is what's the benefit of asking for it? How will getting what you ask for positively impact your life? And question seven is what talking points do you need to keep in mind when you're asking what is most likely to make the person you ask say yes? What is your why? What's your reason for asking for it? What will make them want to support you? You know, I'll share two quick stories with you about this.

I have a friend named Kabir Khan, lives in Malaysia and he came to a workshop that I led and I taught him about asking and he took it to heart. And one of the things I told.

Him that you should have in your.

Life is a mastermind group. And so I said you should have people that are performing at a higher level than you are. Now here's this young 20 year old kid who basically said, I want to work with the best people possible. So he called up a billionaire and asked the secretary if he could talk to this billionaire and just get maybe 20 minutes with him in the morning so he could Make a request. And she said, if you can be here at 6:30 in the morning, he'll meet with you. And something I realized recently in writing a forward for a book that had someone who interviewed 21 billionaires. Billionaires tend to get up really early in the morning and most of them are at work by 6:30 or 7, way ahead of when many people even get up. So anyway, Kabir went and he had the meeting and he said, a mastermind group is six or more people who come together and support each other in being more effective in achieving their goals. Now here's this guy, he's a billionaire. And here's Kabir, who's pretty much accomplished nothing at that point in his life. And he said, well, why would I do that with you?

He said, well, here's the deal.

You bring together three of your billionaire friends who you're not doing masterminding with currently. And I'll bring together three of my young friends who are really creative and bright and we'll bring this, create new, fresh perspective. You bring the wisdom that you guys have. We'll all be working together, supporting each other, masterminding, coming up with creative ideas to bring our businesses to their level. And the guy said, okay. So after a few months he supported Kabir, who had this goal to become a master magician. And he actually paid for him to go to Vegas and to study with some of the top magicians in America. And eventually he went back to Malaysia, became the number one magician in Malaysia, performs all over Asia. But more importantly, recently that same billionaire said, I'm going to build a rotating restaurant on the top floor of the Petronas Tower, the tallest building in Malaysia. And I'd like you to be a partner. So think about this. Because he asked. And what he did was he knew why he was asking and he knew what to say in order to convince the person that this mastermind group was going to be as valuable for him as it was going to be for Kabir. Now another story is about this young girl named Marquita Andrews. Marquita was a girl who sold the most Girl scout cookies in one year in America. 3,000, I think was 284 boxes, something like that. Again, the power of knowing your why. See, Marquita had a goal and her goal was to win a contest. Because that year the girl who sold the most Girl Scout cookies was going to win a trip for two around the world. And she really wanted to take her.

Mom around the world because her mom.

Had said to her, marquita, I have Two dreams in life. One is to travel around the world and the other is to see you go to college. You'll be the first girl in the history of our family to go to college. I'm not sure on my salary as a waitress that I can afford both of those dreams. And so here's Marquita at the young age, she must have been about 11 or 12, who said, wow, here's my ticket out of here. I'm going to win this contest. So she would go and knock on doors and most girls would say, you know, here I am in my Girl Scout uniform. You can see we're having our anal cookie drive. You don't want to buy any cookies, do you? And they would go, well, okay, I'll buy one. Marquita would knock on door and then she'd say, you can see by my uniform I'm a Girl Scout. We're having our annual cookie drive this year. And I have a dream. My dream is to win the contest of the girl who sells the most cookies around the world. In the world. And win a trip for two for me and my mom to travel around the world. And my mom wants to go so bad, and I want to help her fulfill her dream. How many boxes will you buy? And people would go like, well, would 10 help? Would 20 help? And so she had her why really clearly in her ask. So know why you're asking, Know what's in it for them or know what's going to move them emotionally? Now, if you ask and answer the seven questions that I've just taught you, you'll find it much easier to ask for what you need in a way that gets results. Now, I also want you to remember that you're not always going to get a yes to every request you make. Some people are going to say no, and that's okay. The important thing is to keep on asking. So let go of any attachment to the outcome and just keep on asking. Because sooner or later your persistence will.

Pay off and you will get a.

Yes, probably more than one. So this week I challenge you to ask someone for something that you might have hesitated about or been unwilling to ask for in the past. It doesn't have to be something big, but it should be something that will significantly improve your life in some way. Ask yourself the seven questions I just shared with you from the New the Success Principles workbook, and then make your ask. If the person says no, ask someone else and keep asking other people until you get a yes. That's how you build up your self confidence. And I guarantee you, each time you exercise your Ask muscle, it's going to get easier, easier and easier for you and you will be much more likely to get the support you need to achieve your goals. So go out there and be what I call an Ask Whole and do that my friend. I promise you, you're going to learn a lot about the power of asking and you're going to learn a lot about success. So if you want to know more about the power of asking, check out Chapter nine of the Success Principles Workbook, which is called Ask Without Fear of Rejection. It includes some valuable teachings and activities that will help you put the power of Asking into your life right away and let me know what you think in the comments. So thanks again for watching. And remember, you can achieve anything you can imagine in life. It just takes you taking that first step. Now. If you found this video helpful, please make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one and for some additional exercises and tools for learning how to ask for what you need. But make sure to visit jackcampfield.com and.

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