Jack Canfield shares practical ways to build confidence in yourself and others. Reframe nervousness as excitement, break goals into small steps, review past wins, and model confident behavior yourself.
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Hi, I'm Jack Canfield and today I want to give you a few tips on how to help others improve their self confidence and get better results in life. And boost your own confidence and self esteem in the process. You know, developing your self confidence is a surefire way to become a more successful person in life. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. The more confident you are, the more opportunities you will embrace and the more success you will achieve as a result of pursuing those opportunities. And of course, the more success you achieve, the more confident you'll become. But confidence isn't something that comes easily to everyone. And when somebody doesn't have it, they're less likely to take on the challenges that will help them grow as a person. Which means they remain stuck where they are instead of getting to where they really want to be. Now, when you're watching someone holding back because of their lack of confidence, it can be really tough. Especially if you're their spouse, child, parent, friend or boss. You know they're capable of doing so much more and being so much more, but their lack of self confidence is holding them back. So how do you assist someone out of that rut and help them grow their self confidence so they can take on new challenges, improve their performance and their results, and create the life they want? And how can you improve your own life in the process? Well, here's some advice. First, acknowledge how they're feeling. If they're lacking in confidence, that probably means they're nervous or afraid. Let them know it's okay to feel that way. Everyone feels nervous or afraid sometimes. It's part of being human. But the people who get the best results in life are the ones who allow themselves to feel that fear and still take action anyway. It also helps to point out that nervousness and excitement are two sides of the same coin. They affect you in almost exactly the same way physically. With the butterflies in your stomach, the tingling in your fingers and toes, and how hard it is to sit still and relax. So encourage them to tell themselves that they're nervous is really just excitement. Next, encourage them to explore their fears by asking themselves questions like this. What's the worst that can happen? Almost always the answer is that they will fail and end up back where they are now. For example, if you apply for a job and don't get hired for it, or you ask someone out on a date and they say no, you'll be right back where you were before you took those actions, you're not any worse off than you were before, but at least you Made the attempt, and chances are you now have learned something in the process. Some useful information that will help you succeed better the next time you try. So if you ask for a raise and you're denied, ask your boss to tell you what you need to do to become eligible for that raise. That's incredibly important information. Now you have a list of steps you can take to ensure your success in the future. Okay, so once the person you're helping has considered the fact that the worst that can happen isn't really that bad, encourage them to ask themselves, what's the best that can happen? Get them to focus on the best possible outcomes for their efforts because they have just as much chances of achieving the best outcome as they do of achieving the worst outcome. Ask them to imagine what their lives will look like if they take a risk and everything works out better than they ever could have expected. What does that look like? How will they feel when they experience it? Then ask them what do they need to do to make that a reality? Encourage them to chunk it down to achievable bite sized goals. And when they realize that each small step is progress toward their goal, the challenge of achieving it won't seem nearly as overwhelming. Next, encourage them to take time to review their past wins. Whenever they experience self doubt, get them to write down every single goal they've ever achieved, Every school program or certificate they completed, every job they were hired for, every relationship they've had, everywhere they've ever traveled, every skill they've developed, and so on. And all of these things involve challenge and risk. And yet they acted despite their fear and were able to accomplish great things. So remind them they're still that same person and they have the capacity to achieve anything they imagine. Also remind them it's not the goals they achieve that are important, it's who they become in the process of achieving those goals that matters. So encourage them to set goals for themselves that stretch them and require them to grow. And then support them and cheer them on as they work on developing themselves into the kind of person who is capable of achieving their goals. Finally, encourage them to always keep learning. You see, self improvement is a lifelong process and the more new skills and expertise they require, the more capable they will feel. And that will play a huge role in growing their confidence in themselves. Now one last thing. If you want to help someone become more self confident and succeed in life, remember that you should be modeling the behavior you want them to learn. If you want them to be more self confident, then you must show up in the world in a self confident way and thereby demonstrate the value of doing so. And that means walking the talk and working on developing your own self confidence. All of those esteem boosting strategies I just mentioned, they apply to you as well. So be sure to step outside your comfort zone and regularly take on new challenges so you continue to learn and to grow and to prove to yourself that you are accomplishing great things in life. And this includes helping others realize that they are capable of accomplishing great things too. You know, one of the great truths in life is that the more you help others, the more you end up helping yourself as well. Now I'd like to hear your thoughts after watching this video. Who in your personal life or business life would you like to help become more self confident? How would that improve that person's life and how would it improve yours? And if you feel so inspired, please go ahead and leave a comment below with your answers. I'd love to read what you have to say. So thanks today for watching. And remember, nothing in your life will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel. For more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on how to build self confidence, please visit my website@jackcampfield.com thanks again for watching.
