How To Break Patterns | Jack Canfield

Hi there. I'm Jack Canfield, co creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books and the author of the Success Principles. I have a question for you. When was the last time you were faced with a particularly difficult challenge and you found yourself thinking, why does this always happen to me? Because the problem you were dealing with is something that seems to keep popping up in your life over and over and over again. If you're like most people, I'm guessing the answer is pretty recently. You know, all of us get stuck in recurring patterns from time to time where we find ourselves dealing with the same setbacks and the same problems over and over. And sometimes it can feel as if the universe is out to get us. So today I'd like to share with you how to recognize when this is happening in your life and the steps you can take to break that pattern and free yourself from that recurring problem once and for all. Okay, first off, let's talk about what I mean when I say recurring patterns. I'm talking about what happens when you find yourself running into the same kind of problem over and over again. For example, you keep getting into relationships with people who cheat on you. Or you keep getting laid off from work and having to find a new job. Or no matter how hard you try to keep your head above water, you find yourself sinking further and further into debt. Or every time you go on a diet and lose a bunch of weight, you end up gaining it all back and maybe then some more. Do any of these sound familiar? If so, please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. This happens to all of us, even me, in the past. And I've definitely had to deal with my share of recurring patterns over the years, for sure. So why do these patterns happen? Is it karma? Is it the universe out to get us? Or is it a matter of coincidence or bad luck? Well, the answer is none of those. The reason these patterns develop is almost always because there is some sort of important life lesson that we need to learn that we just haven't mastered yet. For example, let's say you regularly find yourself getting really annoyed because you find yourself stuck behind a slow driver and their sluggish speed is going to make you late for another appointment.

It's gotten so bad, it seems like.

It'S happening all the time. Now, is the problem in this situation the slow driver? I'm going to suggest no, it's not. It's the fact that you refuse to leave 15 minutes earlier and give yourself enough time to to make your appointment, regardless of any slow drivers you might Encounter. You haven't learned your lesson yet, so you keep finding yourself dealing with the same problem. Now, the same goes if you keep finding yourself getting together with people who cheat on you. It's not a sign that the universe is out to get you or that all people are cheaters. The problem is you keep getting together with cheaters and choosing them to be.

Your partner because you haven't learned how.

To not do that yet. Now, maybe you keep getting laid off and you really think it's through no.

Fault of your own, just bad luck.

Or maybe it's the economy's fault or the result of the government's bad decisions. But the truth is, the reason you keep getting laid off is because you keep working for companies that aren't set up to succeed over the long term or they don't value enough to keep you on as an employee. Or maybe you don't know. You don't know the things you need to know to be successful in your job. There are a number of reasons it could be. Maybe you don't work hard enough, you don't make yourself invaluable. Maybe you haven't acquired the additional skills necessary to make you really stand out as someone who's irreplaceable to the company.

Maybe it's a personality issue. Or maybe it's simply because you pick.

The first job that comes along without looking into the company to see if it's set up to succeed and grow.

Over time and support you in what you want to do, or whether the.

Company will actually be a good fit.

For you and your goals for your life. But whatever is happening, it's clear that if you want to get different results, you.

You need to do something different.

And the trick is figuring out what.

That something different is.

And the first thing you need to.

Do when you identify a recurring problem that's happening to you is to identify.

What'S the one common denominator that's present.

In every single time this situation occurs.

And that one common denominator is you. And if you want to know the reason this problem keeps happening, it's you. I don't say this to blame you.

Or to make you feel bad.

Quite the opposite. I say this to free you and give you back control over your life. Because once you realize that you and your thoughts and your actions and your images that you think about, the behavior that you do, these are the only thing you can control in any situation. And suddenly you're no longer helpless because you know that. Because you realize it's not the universe that's causing this to happen to you. It's happening because of you, and that.

Means you can change it. So the next time you find yourself.

Thinking, why does this always happen to me? The first thing I would like you to ask yourself is, how have my thoughts, my actions or inactions contributed to this situation and what can I do to change that? And then commit to changing those thoughts and taking those new actions. Maybe it's going to require doing some research and some new learning. Or maybe it involves doing some mindset work and shifting the way you think about yourself or the way you think about others. Maybe it involves seeking out people who already have what you want and then working with them. Maybe it's learning how to create a healthy relationship. Maybe it's a successful job in your chosen field that you can start looking at or for. Maybe it's asking someone who's achieved what you want, what they've done to achieve that goal so you can discover the gaps in your own approach and do whatever you need to do to show up differently and get better results in the future. Above all, I encourage you to get help if you need to. All of us need support at some point or another. I wouldn't have been able to accomplish anything close to the amount of success I've enjoyed in my career if I hadn't reached out for mentorship and support from other people. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you're smart enough to know that tapping other people's knowledge and other people's expertise will help you solve your problems and and achieve the results you're looking for faster. You probably remember my success equation of.

E plus R equals O.

The outcomes you get in life are the result of the events that happen to you combined with your response to those events. And the only thing you have any control over in your life is your responses. So if you want to change your outcome, you need to change your responses. Okay, so before I go, what I'd like you to do is to think about the common challenge you find yourself dealing with repeatedly in your life. Ask yourself, how am I contributing to creating this situation? And what can I do differently to get different results? And one last thought. Sometimes you're stuck in the same patterns. It's because of unconscious limiting beliefs and unconscious competing intentions, things that don't want you to achieve that because there's some fear that if you do that, you're going to have to deal with this. Now, to transcend these limitations, these limiting beliefs, you have to first become aware of these unconscious beliefs and intentions, and then you can replace them. That's not easy to do on your own because they're below your threshold of awareness. You usually need help in doing that. Now, several times a year, I offer a free online webinar in which I walk you through a process to help you identify one of those limiting beliefs or competing intentions and then be able to release it so it no longer keeps you stuck. So if you'd like to receive information on when those are happening, just go to my website@jackhamfield.com and just give us your email address. I'd love to help you with that.

All right.

Now, in addition to getting on my mailing list, if you're feeling so inspired, please feel free to leave a comment below. Sharing something you intend to do differently in order to produce some different results in the coming year, and we'd love to see what you have to share and remember when you commit publicly to a goal or to an action, it gives it power. Now, if you found this video helpful, please make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to this channel for more videos like this one, and for some additional tools and videos on how to form better habits and release the things that are holding you back, make sure to check out the resources page on jackcampo.com there's a ton of great material there. Thanks for watching and have a great day.