Jack Canfield draws on the Santa Barbara fires and mudslides to offer five ways to cope with disasters: breathe and remember this too shall pass, be patient with yourself and others, forgive yourself using EFT tapping for survivor's guilt, and practice daily gratitude.
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Hi, I'm Jack Canfield. Today I want to talk to you about how to deal with tough times, disasters and other traumatic world events. And how to maintain a positive mindset no matter what is happening in the world around you. If you watch the news, it can seem like the whole world is in pain. Every day there's a new tragedy in which lives have been needlessly lost. Or a natural disaster that has destroyed a community. Or another disturbing story of corruption and wrongdoing. Now, when you find yourself affected or directly impacted by traumatic events like these. It can be difficult to know how to react or what to do. Now, I recently experienced this firsthand when my community of Santa Barbara and Montecito, California, was devastated by fires and mudslides. Many people lost their homes, including several friends of mine. Others lost their lives or their loved ones. It was a very challenging and difficult time here. But the beautiful part is that the entire community pulled together in a beautiful way. And we're on the road to recovery. And based on this recent experience. And on my many decades of studying psychology and human behavior today, I'd like to offer some other suggestions to you. On how to successfully live through a tragedy or a trauma. And maintain a positive, forward, focused mindset no matter what the world throws at you. Because even though we can't control the events that happen to us. We can always control how we choose to respond to them. First off, it's important to remember that people are resilient and strong. We have shown time and time again that we can survive pretty much anything. Especially when we pull together and help each other. I have to say that despite all the tragedy and suffering our community here experienced, there were moments of beauty as well. People loving each other and supporting each other. And doing the most extraordinary things to help each other. It was so incredible to see. So. So remember that you can survive anything. And take time to look for the moments of beauty to sustain you. And remember this, too. If you're watching and listening to me right now, it means that you've already survived every single thing that ever happened to you. I also want you to remember that you're not alone. The best place to find the physical, emotional and spiritual support you need. Is in the strength and comfort of other people. It can be tough to heal from trauma on your own without any help. But together, we can all survive anything. It's also important to realize that in times of disaster, you are not powerless. One of the best ways to deal with a tragedy is to do what you can to help the victims and Take action to ensure that it never happens again. You can donate money, donate your time, donate your expertise, raise awareness, join a volunteer organization, write to your government officials, things like that. Now look at what the kids in Parkland, Florida have been able to do since the tragic shooting incident at their school. So please don't ever feel like you're powerless to help people in the present moment or to work toward preventing similar events in the future. There are so many ways you can make a difference. Having said all that, when you are overcoming tragedy in your life, there may be times when you feel debilitated by the experience, as if you can't go on. So let me give you five suggestions on how to deal with those overwhelming emotions. You may want to write these down. Now, the first thing I want you to do is to take a deep breath and remember that whatever you're experiencing, that too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever, not even pain. No matter how bad things are right now, they will get better. The second thing I want you to do is be patient with yourself. People don't heal from trauma in a day. It can take a lot of time and energy to process. So don't expect yourself to go back to performing at normal levels right away. You may find yourself physically and mentally exhausted all the time, or numb for a while, or unable to hold a thought in your head for more than a few minutes. And that's okay. Just be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time to heal. The third thing I want you to do is be patient with other people as well. Whether you're the one who experienced the trauma or you're dealing with someone who has, Please be patient. People are often going to say things that are the wrong thing. They may seem insensitive or self absorbed, or they may be raw and emotional or withdrawn or in shock. People deal with loss in many different ways and at different speeds. And for some, it can be a long time before they come to terms with what they have lost. So remember to be patient and to be kind. Now, the fourth thing I want you to do is forgive yourself. Maybe you're experiencing survivor's guilt. Maybe you feel like there's something you could have done differently to prevent the tragedy. I want you to stop blaming yourself and simply let it go. There's nothing you could have done differently about it, but there's something you can do now, and that's move forward and survive. Now remember this. You as well as everyone else, is always doing the best they can with the knowledge, the tools, the skills, and the awareness they have. At the time to deal with whatever they're dealing with. Everyone given who you were, the knowledge you had, the level of, the skills you had, the awareness you had, the needs you had, you couldn't have done anything different than you did. So drop the belief that you or they should have done something different and choose to forgive them and to love yourself. If you find it difficult to do that, you can use EFT tapping to release the guilt or the resentment that you may have. If you're not familiar with EFT, you can go to YouTube and watch any number of videos that will introduce you to this simple process that can literally release any negative feeling in a matter of minutes. I'm also going to put on the screen a video that I've done about tapping as well, and you can access that now. The last thing I would ask you to do is practice gratitude. When you've gone through a tragedy, it's all too easy to focus on what you've lost. I would encourage you as much as possible to to start focusing instead on what you still have. Be grateful for the people that you have in your life, the health and the strength you still have in your body, your mind and your spirit. The resources that are being made available and offered to you, the willpower that you have that can pull you out of bed each day, the sun for shining, the flowers for blooming, the grass for growing. I encourage you to even be grateful for the lessons you've learned from the experience, no matter how painful they may seem. So look for all the things that are positive in the world and be grateful for them. No matter how impossible it seems right now. I guarantee your heart will heal and you will find more and more things to be thankful for each and every day. So here's your homework to complete after watching this video, take a moment to write down a list of all the many things you have to be grateful for and then revisit this list every day and keep adding to it every day. If you an extremely powerful way to remain positive in tough times. So thanks for watching today and if you have anything you'd like to share, please post it as a comment below and I'll be sure to read it. And remember, nothing in your life will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on how to deal with trauma and loss, be sure to visit my website@jackcampfield.com and thanks again for watching.
