How To Deal With Emotional Triggers | Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield explains what it means to be "triggered," arguing that strong negative reactions are usually rooted in unresolved past trauma rather than the present person or event. He offers practical methods for resolving triggers—notably EFT tapping (with Pamela Bruner and the book Tapping into Ultimate Success) and Byron Katie's "The Work" (four-question process and turnarounds)—and encourages viewers to do the internal work, take a specific action, and use resources on his website.
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Hi there. I'm Jack Canfield, co creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and the author of the Success Principles. I'm curious about something. When I say the word triggered, what comes to mind for you? Do you get triggered by the word triggered, or do you immediately think of all the things that spark a strong negative reaction on your part? And today I'd like to explore the idea of being triggered, as well as some simple steps you can take to trigger proof your mindset and respond to people and events in your life in a calmer, more relaxed way. It seems like every time I go on social media these days, I see someone mocking someone else for getting triggered, or I see people complaining about other people triggering them through their thoughtless words and actions. And it seems to me as if all this triggering is causing a lot of conflict and strife, which makes me concerned because if ever there was a time where we should be coming together to find common ground, it's definitely right now. The thing about triggering, though, is that the real problem is never really the other person or the situation at hand. When someone or something causes you to feel a strong surge of negative thoughts and emotions, the cause isn't the person or the situation you're dealing with in the present. It's almost always the result of something that happened in your past. Here's an example of what I mean. There's a friend I often socialize with, and over time I've noticed that whenever I was hanging out with him and his wife, if he offered her some simple word of advice or reminded her to make sure to do something, she would immediately react in a really negative way. If she was going out to go shopping and he said something like, honey, make sure to put gas in the car, she would immediately snap back at him with, what, do you think I'm stupid? I know when I need gas. Now, the truth is, he didn't think she was stupid. He was just reminding her out of his concern and his caring for her. At first, I was a bit taken aback by her somewhat angry responses when this happened, but as I got to know his wife better and learn more of her background, I realized the reason she reacted in this way was because her family often treated her as if she was stupid when she was a child and she had internalized those childhood experiences and she had never really healed from them. And so it was a sore spot inside of her that her husband's words would reactivate, even though he didn't mean anything negative by it. So the thing about getting triggered is that it's almost always a sign of unresolved trauma from the past. You may be aware of what the trauma is, or most times you may have no idea what's causing it. All you know is that you're experiencing a serious negative, emotional and sometimes even physical reaction to something that's happening. And so the tendency is to lash out against that person or thing rather than to look inside yourself to figure out what is really causing this negative response. So if you notice that certain people or their behaviors or something you see or you hear on the news trigger you, I want to encourage you to stop and explore that further and discover what's really going on. Because when you get to the heart of what's really causing your pain and do the internal work to release it and heal it once and for all, you will find it's so much easier to feel calm and grounded, no matter what the world throws at you. And this will make it so much easier for you to make well considered decisions that help you create better outcomes in everything you do. So once you're clear on what's triggering you, how can you work to resolve it? Well, I personally have experienced quick and powerful results through something called eft tapping, and so have many of my colleagues or my students. Now, if you're not familiar with the practice of tapping, what it does is helps you release negative emotions that are stored in your subconscious by tapping points along certain meridians or energy pathways in your body. These energy pathways send electrical impulses throughout the body to keep all your internal systems working properly. Now, many medical practitioners believe that these pathways also store emotions and that an illness or chronic pain in a specific area of your body may be the result of emotional pain from the past that is stored in that energy meridian. Now, tapping works by permanently interrupting the program or sequence of events that occur in the brain between the initial thought causing you emotional pain and the physical response you experience as a result of that pain, which we call being triggered. Now, by focusing on the negative emotions as you tap on those meridian points, you can interrupt the electrical impulses and create new neural pathways that liberate you from the emotions and allow you to reclaim the energy that was caught up in them. Now, one of the most experienced tapping experts I know is Pamela Bruner. She and I co wrote the book Tapping into Ultimate Success, which teaches you how to use the technique of tapping to release your negative emotions and limiting thoughts and beliefs that you might have around the success principles so you can overcome the obstacles that are holding you back from using them. And Achieving your goals in life. Now, Pamela has spent decades tapping away all of her limiting beliefs and as a result, she is one of the most centered people I know. I don't think anything much could trigger her anymore. She seems to me to be completely unflappable and capable of remaining calm and maintaining her equanimity in the face of any person or situation that she encounters. Imagine how liberating that is. Now, another technique I encourage you to check out is called the Work, which was developed by Byron Katie, which you can read about in her groundbreaking book called Loving what Is. I won't go into all the details of her story here, but basically when she was in her 30s, she had a profound transformative experience which liberated her from suffering and allowed her to embrace life in a really beautiful and non judgmental way. And the technique that she teaches encourages you to ask four powerful questions whenever you feel yourself getting upset or triggered over a situation or another person's action or maybe their non actions. These four questions are this. First you ask yourself, is it true? For example, is it true that if Inga really loved me, she wouldn't get mad at me and express her anger in front of my staff? Now the second question is, can you absolutely know it's true? And for me the answer is always a clear no. I can never absolutely know for sure that something should or shouldn't have happened. Maybe there's a higher purpose for it that I'm unaware of. The third question is, how do you react when you believe that thought? Well, I get angry at her and I withdraw and I punish her by not giving her my attention. And the fourth question is, who would you be without the thought? Well, I'd be happy. I'd be feeling loving and connected and having fun with my wife. Now then, when you've thoroughly explored the answers to these four questions, you're encouraged to create a turnaround thought that is essentially the opposite of the initial thought causing the pain. So if the initial thought was she doesn't love me, the turnaround thought could become she does love me even when she does that or I don't love myself, which often is the case now. Then you're encouraged to explore the truth of that statement as well. Through this process of self interrogation and exploration, it quickly becomes apparent that what you thought was true really isn't true at all, and that there are many other factors that make the very opposite of that idea equally true true. Which means you no longer have to feel any attachment to the thought that was triggering your pain. You can simply let it go. Now, I've practiced this process in my own life for years, and I found it to be a very liberating experience. It's made it so much easier for me to accept people and their behaviors as they are and not get irritated or upset by their words and their actions. So if you find yourself often getting triggered, I encourage you to take action to liberate yourself from your triggers. Because when you ascend to a higher level of consciousness and are living in a place of love and joy and gratitude and curiosity, which I believe is the default setting we were all born with, you will eventually become incapable of being negatively impacted by other people's actions, and you'll be able to experience more happiness and more fulfillment in everything you do. All right, that's what we have for you today. I want to thank you for watching and now what I'd love you to do is is to identify one action you plan to take to liberate yourself from the things that you've been triggering by lately and share it in the comments below. And remember, only you can free yourself from the things that cause you your suffering. And if you found this video helpful, please make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to this channel for more videos like this one, and for some additional tools and videos on how to cultivate a positive, calm and unstoppable mindset, be sure to check out the Resources page on our website jackcampfield.com youm'll find a ton of great free stuff there. So thanks again for watching and have a great rest of your day.
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