Jack Canfield explains how to handle ego and emotional pain using the formula E + R = O: event plus response equals outcome. He recommends reinterpreting difficult situations, replacing worry with positive visualization, and taking constructive action to attract better results.
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Have you ever said something like, I've been hurt way too many times. I'm done. I'm not letting anyone get close to me again. How many times have you said this or something like this, or how many times have you felt this way but you've just never said it out loud? Well, chances are you have felt this way at least once or twice in your life. Pretty much everyone has at one time or another. And you may have even said the words to a friend or one of your family members. But what happened then? Did you get up, shake it off, and move on? Or are you still clinging to that earlier decision? Many people do indeed move on, even when life seems a little bumpier for them than others. But unfortunately, some people continue to live there, stuck in the hurt, the fear, the anxiety and the disappointment and the resignation that comes from a life that isn't going the way they thought it would or the way they wanted it to. The weird part is that your ego is actually trying to protect you from further pain, but is actually keeping you in a prison and keeping you from fully experiencing the magnificence of life and all of its joys. Now, there's no question that there is some pain in life. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Now, in an attempt to shield ourselves from life's natural pains, the death of a pet, a loved one, a job, or a dream, we also sacrifice the corresponding joy of experiencing fulfilling relationships, another pet, or another fulfilling job. Now, real life is a beautiful, messy mixture of good and bad, ups and downs, smooth paths and bumpy trails. It's important to remember that each experience we have, whether we perceive it to be positive or negative, is also an opportunity for growth. The problem is that many of us have a skewed view of what is good and what is bad. Now, when you release your perception of the good and the bad in life, you will find a freedom that will allow you to grow in the most incredible ways. People will purposely or inadvertently hurt you. It's going to happen. Life will sometimes be unfair. You can't control that. But what you can control is how you let it affect you and how you respond. Remember my formula of E R O events plus your response to that event produce the outcomes you experience. It's not what happens to you, it's what you tell yourself about it. The meaning you make up, the story you tell that determines how you feel and what you experience. Think about what are the things that worry you? How much of that worry is taking over your life? Then I want you to consider this. Those things you're worried about, the negative things that you think might happen, they aren't even real. Whatever it is, it hasn't happened yet. It isn't a reality yet. It's just you imagining something in the possible future. Say you're worried about not getting that job you applied for and then you don't get it. What then? Usually you just set off on a new set of worries. How will you pay your bills? Will you ever get a job? There are any number of new worries that you can spin into and spiral down into because worry has become a habit for most people. The truth is, worry changes nothing. It's a response to an event that produces no better outcome. All it does is feed your fear and anxiety which can paralyze you, keeping you from enjoying life and even causing you to miss out on great opportunities. That is your fear driven ego taking over. Look at worry for what it really is and do these two things instead. First, replace your negative worrying with imagining the positive outcomes you want. It's just a simple conscious choice to change your thoughts and your images from the negative to the positive. Second, come up with some constructive actions you can take to create what you want. Ask your friends, ask some mentors or coaches for advice on possible solutions. Search the Internet for answers, read a relevant book, and then take action. Worry has been described as negative goal setting. You're just sitting there visualizing what you don't want. Now you bring about what you think about. So if you worry about something, you're more likely to attract it into your life. If you simply replace the worry with positive thoughts and images, you're programming yourself to come up with solutions and and you're attracting, through the Law of attraction, more of what you want in your life. Now here's your homework to complete. After watching this video, carefully choose how you respond to events in your life, how you choose to interpret the event, how you choose to think about and talk about what's happened, and how you choose to act. If you want to achieve better outcomes, has your ego ever been in control of your life? If so, let me know in the comments. Thank you for watching. And remember, nothing will change for the better until you do. Now if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel. For more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on how to become a more positive person, visit my website@jackcampfield.com thanks again for watching.
