How to Get More of What You Want | Ask Jack Canfield 2023

Well, just welcome, for starters, and I want to congratulate you for being here. And just like many of you, I know how taking time out of your day to have real conversations in a group like this can easily be put on the back burner. So I wanted to just congratulate you and encourage you to pat yourself on the back for showing up and being willing to ask for our advice. We're going to start with a few questions that got sent in earlier and comment or two before that, and then we'll open it up to all of you guys who are here live. One of the things that we want to talk about is transparency and vulnerability and acknowledging where you are. It's the first step to getting from where you are to where you want to be and you know where you are. So if you do have a question, you know, be. Feel free to just be honest about what, what you're challenged with and what you're looking at and where you want to go. I'm here, as you already know, with Patty. Aubrey, my business partner, has been by my side for almost 35 years. And together we've been on an amazing journey, talking to and working with people just like you. And believe it or not, we met because Patty answered an ad I placed in the LA Times about 35 years ago to said secretary wanted. And I'm really glad she did respond to that ad all those years ago. Patty, you want to say anything before we get started?

Well, for starters, I'm glad I answered the ad, too. As much as I didn't really want the title of secretary, I did. You know, I really followed my intuition when I answered that ad 35 years ago and had no idea why I was doing it, but I just thought, this is something I should do. And being able to hang out in what I call possibility land with you and Mark completely changed my life. And if you'd asked me all those years ago, do you think you'll be here in 35 years doing a zoom call or going to breakthrough success or being on stage for Train the Trainer with what are you talking about? So it completely opened up my life for sure. And anyway, so that's. That's my. I think most of you already know that story, but it's not about me. We're really here to talk about you. So what I'd like to do in the beginning is just, first of all, just type in the chat where you're from. I'd love to see where you're from.

And while they're doing that, I just Want to say that your story about answering that ad because something felt right about it is that, you know, one of the things that we're doing a lot of work lately with encouraging people on is like, trusting that inner. That inner guidance that. That feeling of like, something needs to happen. I need to do this. It doesn't make logical sense, but I. I'm feeling the call to, you know, take that course or watch that YouTube video or move to another city or get married or, you know, talk about our relationship in a deeper way with my husband, whatever it might be. That's when the real shift begins to occur. Because we're always getting inner messages and most of us, unfortunately don't follow them. This is great. We got people from Canada and Oregon and Beirut and Lebanon, Washington, England. Thousand Oaks, Virginia, California. Johannesburg, South Africa. All right. Very good.

Yeah, I think that that's. You know, as you mentioned that Jack, when I answered that ad, I had only I. I didn't know what a goal was. I'd never been to a self help workshop. Nothing. And I had gone To1 probably two months before I met you. And I set a goal and I was like, I want to make 25,000 a year. And I was making 14,800. And so when I saw that ad, as much as I didn't want to be a secretary, I saw. Oh my gosh. And it was in bold. I don't know if you remember. I wish I saw a copy of that ad was totally in bold. I thought, there's a sign here and I'm going to check it out. And had I not done that one thing, that. And learned how to set a goal, I might be still working at a car dealership or something. I don't know. Not that that's a bad thing, but that was one of my options. And it was a lot more money. But I thought, I don't know, there's something here. And. And I didn't know anything about you. And frankly, when you were trying to explain what you were doing, I didn't quite understand it because it was all about self esteem. And I'm like, what is this self esteem stuff? You know? So I don't know. I think life is perfect and everything happens for a reason. So I'm. I think you're all here for a reason. And I'm glad you're here. The next thing. Thanks, Karen. It was meant to be. My dad didn't think so at the time. My whole family thought I was nuts. Why are you going to that weird thing? So the next thing is, I want to know how many trainings have you been to with us? Have you been to breakthrough to success or train the trainer or one day to greatness? Just want to get a feel for who's in the room. You just want to type in BTS or TTT or one day just to see how many of you have been to those. And even by a show of hands, you can raise your hand if you haven't been to anything. Welcome, Jacqueline. All right, first time here. Okay, Anybody else? First time. Good. First time. Welcome. All right. We got a lot of first time, which is so cool. Welcome, welcome. I'm a newbie, but I love Jack's books. Good, Donna, good to have you. No training whatsoever, but watch Jack's one.

Day life on Fire. But James Monster. Yeah, that was good. I think that also. And you know, we'd like to know what drew you here today. What are you looking for? In other words, you got this little message that we're going to do Q and A, which we are in about a couple minutes, but you decided to come on this call because you had something you wanted, something you're not getting, something you want to get rid of, like pain and frustration, overwhelm, etc. What are you looking for? Well, why'd you come? What do you hope would happen today? What question when you might get answered?

Yeah, and I'll give you some hints, too, like, are you looking for next steps in your own journey? Are you feeling stuck? Are you looking for clarity around a specific issue? Maybe you just want to get some inspiration. Just anything at all. Feel free to and be specific as you can. So if you say breakthrough, like what. What does a breakthrough look like for you? The more info you give us, the better we can answer your questions. Lack of consistency in my work, even through my why, is huge. All right, I love.

I told my husband I wanted to ask Jack a question about marketing two days ago. And then I saw your email yesterday.

Meant to be.

Attract more financial abundance without worrying about the how inspiration build a business and vision for my life. Okay, good, good, good, good.

My last question for all of you. How many of you can believe it's already April? That's kind of a joke. But I think this. This quarter went by so quickly. We've been doing so many different things. Okay, all right. I'm still reading some of these. Bear with us, everyone. You can read the chat, too. Positive guidance, finding and more details of my purpose. All right, cool. Stuck. Clarity, next steps with how transition my current business to Online type of business. All right, well I have a lot of, I have a lot on that one.

All right, so excuse me, as we jump in answering a question today, one last thing I want you to be asking yourself this. Ask yourself the question, if I could create anything, if anything were possible and anything is possible, what would it look like? In other words, what's this outcome I want like a lot of you talking about marketing and more financial breakthroughs, etc. Well, if you got to the other side of that beholding in your mind, what would it look like? What would you be experiencing? Where would you be maybe talking about financial, how much money or debt free or whatever. You know, if you're wanting more success in relationship, in what way? So really get really clear about that. And I want you to hold the possibility that whatever you want you can actually make happen. But the first step to anything manifesting is knowing what it is you want. And then it has to do with getting clear about your purpose in relation to that, your vision of what it would look like if you got there, turning that into specific goals, choosing to believe it's possible. And then what are the actions you want to take? And some of you, that's what you're looking for is some of the actions that you need to take. Okay, good. So great. So Patti and I are expertise actually is helping anyone get what they want. And so that's what we're here to do today. And we know that we literally have been doing these trainings now we have coaches in 107 countries teaching this work that we've trained. I've spoken in 50 countries live to different groups. And we know that what we're going to share with you today is scientifically proven. These are principles that work and you need the principles, you need the skills, you need the tools. We're going to share as much of that is with you as we can. All right?

Right. So, and again, as we're going through this, you might have typed in what you want. I want you to really challenge yourself if it's something that you think you can get or if it's something that you're dreaming about that you haven't said out loud yet. Can anybody relate to that? Like there's just something and they're just like, I'm too, I, I'm embarrassed. What will people think? So as we go through, if you decide to get more bold or you have an awareness, I would love for you to type in the chat like oh, awareness. And add that in as we go through so we can cover as much as we can. So we're going to jump right into these questions. And again, if you have any specific questions, put them in the chat. And there were some questions that were sent in. So, Jack, I'm going to. I'm going to ask you the questions. How about that?

Okay, you can chime in as well.

I will me chime in. Nah, I never have anything to say.

Right.

Okay. Question one. How can I achieve success at my age?

Well, obviously we don't know what your age is because you didn't tell us. But here, imagine a lot of people think like, you know, well, I'm 50, I'm 60, I'm 70, whatever, and, you know, maybe I missed the boat. I often tell stories about people that are 55 years old and set their first major goal, and by the time they're 60, they're making a million dollars a year or they just ran a marathon for the first time and they hadn't run anything for like, you know, they're out of weight and so forth. And they went on this one woman who I met when she was 83 and just completed the Ironman Triathlon, you know, so. And she didn't start until she was older. And a lot of times you'll see people that retire from their normal job, and then all of a sudden they start doing what they want to do as opposed to what they thought they should do. And all of a sudden their. Their side business takes off, their hobby turns into a great success, or they take an art class and become a successful artist or whatever. So there's no age that you can be successful or not, since age is not. It's not about that. Now, obviously somebody. There are people that might not hire you because you're older, you're not going to be there that long, etc. But really, you want to think of yourself as an entrepreneur more than an employee. Although you can always be an employee as well. We talk about entrepreneurs where you're in a company, but you're starting to show the company how you can do things with them and actually get paid a bonus for doing things like that as well. But, you know, often people, as they get older, they get burned out. You know, you haven't worked for yourself maybe ever. You may be questioning, you know, if you have what it takes to go after the next big dream, but my guess is many of you have something you still want to achieve no matter how old you are. Or possibly you're searching for a deeper sense of purpose. Many of you have been in jobs in corporations and maybe nonprofits, education, whatever, where you didn't feel like you were actually making the difference you wanted to make. You know, it's one thing to be successful. It's another thing to feel fulfilled, to have meaning, to feel like you're doing something that feeds your soul as well as your pocketbook. And so I think it's really important to choose to do things that are going to provide you that sense of fulfillment. We have a lot of people that leave corporate work and join our Train the Trainer program, where we teach people how to teach the success principles. And all of a sudden they're going into schools and they're doing it. They're doing it going back into the industries they were in. With one woman who was a mortgage broker, and now she came to her workshop, she wanted to be a better mortgage broker, and she fell in love with this work and said, wow, this is more important. I want to do this. And now she's running these $25,000 mastermind groups and getting enough people in that she's making over $1 million a year. And I believe she was in her 50s when she joined us with that. So the idea being that I would just say the same principles we teach, which are in my book, the success principles, which are what we teach in our Breakthrough to Success program and all of our coaching program, whether you're 15 years old. I think the only person we ever had in one of our trainings was 12, and she's now in medical school up in Canada. And the reality is that you can choose whatever age you're at to go for a goal. The same principles apply. The same principles are universal. It doesn't matter what area of your life, doesn't matter what age you are. So the main thing is, learn the principles, get clear about your purpose, know what your why is, be committed to that, believe it's possible no matter what. It's not about age, not about money, not about connections. You can start anywhere, anytime, and you can achieve success. And then we teach things like visualization and affirmation, which a lot of people don't understand really how to use. But there is a system of success we teach. There's about 15 principles. When they're done in the right order, in the right way, at the right time, and what happens, like unlocking a combination lock, your life can work, but you're missing a number or you have them in the wrong order, not going to work. So our job is to teach you the right combination to achieve any success.

Well, and I think to the other thing that I would just add to that because people don't realize that I'm like, you were, I think, before we hit New York Times list and actually started to get a dollar in the mail because we owed so much. You were over 50, but you. We had mapped out a really clear vision. We looked at everything. You interviewed every best selling author. What mistakes did you make? What did you do right? We mapped it all out. You enrolled me. I mean, thank God I was so young, because I would have had an opinion if I'd been 10 years older. I'd be like, what are you talking about? You're crazy. But that's always been a really good skill set of yours. Like when you have an idea, you sort of bake it out on paper and then you start to enroll other people. And one of the things that I see a lot, especially with the women I work with, it's like they hold inside what they're trying to figure out. And so the more you talk about it, the more you vocalize it, the more you embody it, the more you embody in a way that you're like, yeah, yeah, I can do this. You might have to enroll some other people to get them to help, but it's never too late, which is why I have a lot of young people that work for me, because they know a lot of stuff and how to get there further faster than I do. So, okay, let's go to number two. I know I'm my worst enemy, but I can't seem to get out of my way. How can I change my bad habits once and for all? Well, I can speak to that. Well, I just say, for starters, every bad habit is really an opportunity to replace it with a good habit. And the question is, when you get to that place where you can see your own limiting beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back from getting whatever you want, what do you do in that moment? Do you freeze and go backwards, or do you embrace that and look at consciously choosing a different way or asking for help? One of the things that I found interesting, I was working with one of my coaches the other day, and he said they did a study for Mutual of Omaha, and they did 300 people. It was around 300 people. And they said, look, you either have to change or die, because their health was really bad. It was through this insurance program they're doing. And they did a study after one year, and only 7% of the people changed. And then they brought in Dean Ornish, the doctor and they had him create a whole program for the people to coach them through, to hold them accountable, to have community where they could actually have more success. And when they went back out after three years, 77% of the people were still in the program and making massive product progress. So lots of times I think we try to do these things alone when we're trying to change a habit or change something like that. And it's very difficult to do anything alone. So in order to take, to make something, really have it be real and lasting. And I'm only saying this because I've learned it from Jack. It takes consistent action over time. And Jack, do you want to talk about that? Because you are the most consistent person I know. I mean, you just. You are. You're the tortoise. You just keep going.

Well, one of the things I learned recently, it was even valuable for me kind of new information, is that habits are usually in response to a stimulus that precedes the habit. So you get up in the morning, and for years I had the habit of literally going to the restroom, sitting on the toilet, and then playing these games, like they're the crossword puzzle type things and Wordle and spelling bees or New York Times things you can do. And it's just like it became associated. You know, see the bathroom seat, do this thing, and I was wasting about 45 minutes a day of my time. There's some value in, like, mental games and staving off Alzheimer's and things like that, but the same thing at night. You know, we see something and it stimulates, stimulates us. Eat that thing, go to the refrigerator, and we always. We see something, it stimulates. So what you want to do is start to realize that there are certain stimulus that then make you. Your. Your brain fires off, if you will, in a pattern of things that, oh, now it's time to watch this TV show, or it's time to do that. So part of what you have to do is you have to break that chain. And so literally, I had things in my bathroom mirror. So when I walked in the bathroom, it said, you know, go exercise. So instead of like sitting there playing a game, go exercise. And the other thing we know, as you said, doing it with somebody is better because they're expecting you. Like, let's say I said with Patty, I'm going to meet you, and we'll go for a walk, or we'll go for a run, or we'll work out in my home gym or whatever. I now know she's expecting me to show up on the corner or to go to her house or meet her at the beach at a certain time. And I have to kind of do that because I made that commitment. I wouldn't want to just leave them standing there. The other thing that we now know is the one you can mix something challenging with something fun, then what happens is you're more likely to do it. So I noticed in my life, whenever I exercised the most, it was when I did it with someone else. It was five years I played racquetball after work every day. So I go, I finish work, I go to the racquetball court, I play racquetball because I know my friend was waiting for me. My friend was also the owner of the health food store. So we talk about food and vitamins, and it was all very helpful for me as well. So it's important to have something that's holding you accountable. We've all proven. Well, let's put it this way. Imagine you broke your arm. What do they do? They put a cast on it. Why? Because your arm is in such a state that it's not strong enough to hold the bone in place. So we have to put a cast there. So you have habits that are like broken bones. You eat too much, you drink too much, you're drinking alcohol, you're staying up too late, you're not going to bed on time, you're wasting time binge watching tv, you know, scrolling the Internet, whatever it might be. And we have them in different areas. Financially, we spend too much or we don't save or whatever. So we need a cast on those part of our, our bones, if you will, psychological, to hold us in place. And that's called an accountability partner. A coach, a mastermind group, a friend who's going to work with you to stay, stay there. That's why, you know, our coaching programs are so successful, because we have people that are holding participants accountable every week to what they say they're going to do. You know, I'm working with a coach right now, and I know, and I haven't worked with one for about two years, but I've got the major decisions to make and I wanted some support. So literally, my coach is saying, you know, every week, did you do that? Did you do that? And I have to send him a report. I'm working with a physiological coach, a woman named J.J. virgin, who we just had on as a guest expert for our mastermind coaching program we have called Game Changer. And what happens is, you know, I started working with her Two weeks ago, let's get my blood test. I had to start wearing this thing that tell my blood glucose level. Had to get a DEXA scan that told me my bones and my muscles and how they're all working together, how much of each I have and so forth. And I have to report to her every week, my waist, my, my, my butt size. To measure myself, I have to stand on a scale that measures like your body mass index as well as just your weight. If I don't do that, I'm in trouble. And she's a tough love coach. But I'm doing it because I know I have this person that's holding me accountable. So it's very, very important to do that. And the other thing I would finally say to this is I was watching this Tony Robbins thing a couple weeks ago, and he said something very important. He said, you know, we all know what we should do. We should stop smoking, we should eat better, we should do that, we should do that. But we don't do it. And why not? Because we're in this state of mind called most of us worry, fear, depression, concern, resentment, so on, anger and so forth. And when we're in those states, we don't tend to take the behaviors, the ones we should do. We just don't do them. And what happens is if you get into a state of what we call excitation, a state of gratitude, a state of joy, a state of love, what happens is the. You get more endorphins in your brain. And so the idea. And you're more likely to do the behaviors you need to do and so controlling your state. What I mean by that, your emotional state. I'm sure a lot of you know about the law of attraction. There was even a question in the chat start starting to allude to that you want to keep your vibration high. And when your vibration is high, meaning you're in a state of gratitude, love, joy, appreciation. What happens is that you'll attract more to you that you want, because that's the stuff you want is at a higher vibration. More money, more health, more love, more, you know, all the things you want. If you, if you're, if you're, if you're depressed, you sit like this, your head's over, you're looking down. It's very difficult to motivate yourself when you're doing that. If you're sitting up straight and you're got your arms out to the side and you do some deep breathing, you do what we call priming. We talk about this Hour of power in the morning where we do deep breathing exercises and we meditate and we focus on things we're grateful for and we affirm our successes as if they've already happened. And we visualize that you get into a state that when you come out of that you are ready to go. You know, you're not going to get depressed, you're not going to get derailed. And so it's really critical to, to do what we call state management as well. And another thing we teach, but you get a better sense of it. I mean, just breathing, if I breathe like this, which the yogis call the breath of fire, if I do that for 30 inhalations, my whole energy system changes. And so we can learn things like that, that will raise our state, that will make us more likely to do the things we need to do. So a lot of different aspects of this, but you can literally get yourself to do anything if you know the right tools well.

And I think just to double up on that too, you know, again, kind of going back to even the first question. Lots of times when it's only us and we're starting something new or we have an agreement with ourselves, nobody else knows. And so if we don't deliver, nobody else knows, but we know. And so not only do we take a self esteem hit, we start to, you know, our belief in ourself goes down. And that's a big transition from when you, when you have to report to somebody else versus when you're only reporting to yourself. And I see that so much in transition. When people decide that they want to start their own business, it's like they want to, but that's a new level of accountability. And there's like a rub there. You know, it's scary for, for some people. And I think one of the things that really worked well for us with Chicken Soup was if I was in a crabby mood, you were saying, don't touch the, you know, don't touch the computer, don't type. If you were like, went to this gig and there was nobody there, I'm like, it's okay. I got five new leads. Like we had each other to bounce things off of and we had Mark who was fake. A team, make it kids. Sky's the limit. Visualize and realize it. I mean, he was preaching the gospel of chicken soup. So having other people around you is, is really important. And I think lots of times, at least for me in my life, a lot of the people that I knew well thought, what are you doing this Is really. Woo.

Woo.

So, again, who's on your team and who's in your circle of influence and who's in your network that's there to support you? Because that's a must. And I always say we have an inside critic. We don't need outside critics. So you really need to have your own cheerleading squad to really get your game on.

All right, I would just. Yeah, you just made me think of something else, too. I want you to think about. Do this. A little homework assignment. Write down the names of the 10 people you spend the most time with. Your wife, your husband, your son, your daughter, your boss, your coworkers, your neighbor, your sister, whoever. And then go ahead when you got that list, and then put a plus next to every name that when you're around them, you feel motivated, encouraged, inspired, celebrated, when you have successes and so forth. And put a minus sign next to everyone who's critical of you, who rains on your parade, who tells you what. Are you kidding? You can never do that. You didn't go to college. You didn't. You don't have a lot of money. You can't start a business. You're not smart enough to do that. And what you want to do is eliminate the amount of time or greatly reduce the amount of time you spend with people like that. Maybe even eliminate certain people from your life if they're negative all the time. Friends of ours wrote a book called who's in your room? And these people in your life, they're in your room. Imagine they're all in one room with you. And are they positive you want to be with them or are they negative? You know, we would imagine if Robin Williams walked in the room if he was still alive. The whole room lights up. There are other people that walk in the room, and the whole room goes down. We call them psychic vampires. You kind of suck the energy out of the room. So there are people in your life who can be sucking the energy out of you and people that are empowering you. So that's a big piece of it as well. So you want to surround yourself with those people. And if you don't know who those people might meet, start thinking about, you know, is there a church you can go to where the people are more positive instead of negative and always telling you how bad you are? Is there a training you can go to where you meet people that are equally motivated to go where you want to go? Or support groups, professional associations, mastermind groups, etc. Where you get uplifted? And if you can't do it in person, then do it online, you know, watch YouTube videos, go to virtual trainings and so forth. But the idea. Idea is that you've got to surround yourself with people that are uplifting rather than negative, you know, and it's just.

In the chat just now, Vinnie said, unfortunately, some of the people I've had to eliminate, our family, well, welcome to our world. You know, I mean, it happens. You can do it gracefully, but sometimes you gotta put up those boundaries.

No, I had to do it with my mother for a number of years because she was an alcoholic. Patty had to deal with her sister because she got involved with drugs for a while. And it was like, really negative. And so it's not EAS Sometimes it's someone you're married to, you know, and it's either called get marriage counseling or work on it, or maybe consider this isn't the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Yeah. And Donna said, in here. I grew up believing that if I share a goal, hope, or dream with others, I'll jinx it.

I think, you know, here's the deal. I know some people teach that. I don't believe that's true. I know that my mentor, who is named W. Clement Stone, who was worth $600 million back in the 1970s, he'd be a billionaire if you just did the inflation part of it today. And he said, share your dreams with others, he said, because first of all, every time you talk about helps you get more clear about it. It motivates you to believe in it. And other people can actually tell you, hey, then you ought to meet my brother or you ought to read that book, or you ought to go to that seminar. You should go coach with that person or whatever you. The other thing is, there will be people who will rain on your parade. There will be. You know, when I decided I wanted to start a foundation many, many years ago where we use the money to fund education programs for teachers. My. My ex wife, we were married at the time, she said, you're crazy. You know, you don't have that kind of money. You can't start a foundation. And I said, thank you for caring enough to share that with me. And I went and started the foundation. And as a result of that, we got 800,000 people off of welfare in California with the program we created called the Goals program, which got into pretty much every welfare to work program in the state, became the standard. And so doesn't mean you have to leave them or anything like that. Just means you know, that's their. They're trying to help you. They think they're protecting you. They're not, but they don't know any better. And so they just say, thank you for your contribution, and then walk away. Don't. Don't take it seriously. But I do think sharing your goals are valuable. We teach that in our training when we talk about goal setting.

Well, and Gail said, in here, too, has a person become completely clear about what they want to do? And I think you just touched on that. It is by sharing it out loud. It's by using your outside voice. And I personally used to get really defensive because I'd have this big idea and come to you and tell you what it was, and then you'd ask me a thousand questions, and I would get defensive. And finally when you said, hold on a second, this has nothing to do with you. I'm just processing so I can help support you. And all the time I was like, you don't think I have a good idea? So, again, if you can reframe the comments that you have to let go, let them go. But any question, just take it as a gift that maybe it's there to bring you more clarity. Maybe it's something that you just didn't think about yet, and that's also powerful. I found that out a little bit late in life. I wish I'd known earlier.

Let me add one more thing to this. There's an exercise we sometimes do. We do these executive retreats sometimes. And one of the exercises we do, we get about 24 people max in the group, and we get everybody up. And we said, okay, you're going to walk around and you're going to say, my goal is blank. Could you give me one idea that would help me achieve my goal? And so you might say, my. My goal is to, you know, add 10,000 more trainers to our trainers around the world. Can you give me one good idea how I might do that? Well, what happens is we let people mill around for about 20 minutes, and they go up to people. I say, one, Patty gives me an idea. Patty tells me what hers is. I give her an idea. And you end up with, like, 20 ideas. And this all came out of the work of someone who's an executive coach who works with, like, the CEO, Ford Motor Company, and people like that, Marshall Goldsmith. And he does this with. And what he found out was sometimes the receptionist knows something the CEO needs to know. Sometimes a doorman knows more about what's going on in the hotel than the person who's actually the manager. And so basically by asking people, telling people what you want to do, and saying, do you have one good idea for me? They might say, you need to talk to my brother. I remember Patty and I decided we wanted to sell a billion books. So we've sold close to 600 million books now. And when we announced that, which everyone said, that's incredible, no one's ever done that except maybe the Bible, the Quran, that kind of thing. And so we announced that, and within a day, this guy sends us an email, says, I can help you do that in China. China right now has sold over 300 million of our books in China. And so there's another guy came up to me and said, oh, you want more trainers? I run a school down in Texas where I train people to be EMTs, you know, emergency workers, like, you know, people driving ambulances, paramedics and so forth. And so he came up with a whole bunch of stuff. So by telling people what you want to do and then being open and asking, do you have one good idea for me? You'd be surprised how much information you can get. This one woman said she wanted to own her own nail salon once. I was getting makeup on in Texas for a TV show in the morning and I said, great, what are you doing to make that happen? She said, nothing. I said, that's a bad strategy. She said, well, what should I do? I said, go find someone who runs a nail. Not a nail salon, a hair salon, full hair salon. And I said, go find someone who runs one and ask her how she did it, how'd she get there? And she went, wow, what a great idea. So when you don't know what to do, find someone who's already done it. Ask them how they did it. You know, Patty and I have literally coached probably 10,000 authors want to be authors on how to become best selling authors. Because we did it, we know how to do it. So we can teach people how to do that and, you know, find out who's done what you want to do and ask them. You'd be surprised how many people will say yes and give you information.

So I'm going to ask another question. So how do I say focused, motivated and positive when things go wrong? Sometimes it's almost impossible to believe in myself and have the faith that my efforts will pay off. Before you answer this question, I want to encourage all of you to assume that everything is perfect and it might feel wrong in the moment, but there's probably a silver lining. And so when Jack and I were trying to publish Chicken Soup and nobody wanted it. And our publisher, our. Our agent gave us the book back. That felt like a massive failure. But if you times 15% of our royalties over 500 million books, it actually turned out to be a good thing. So again, it's like this is kind of a reframing party we're having today. But Jack, you can go into that a little bit, and then I want to get to the chat as well. So how would you respond to that?

Well, let me just say about the book that everyone knows normally if an agent sells your book to a publisher, they get 15% of the royalties. So because he didn't do that and gave us the book back, when we finally did sell it ourselves, that's 15% of, I don't know, tens of millions of dollars that we didn't have to pay out to him. So here, here's the deal. Things are going to go wrong, and it's perfect. As Patti said, I want you to hold this belief that everything that happens is perfect. The universe is happening for you, not to you. We often think, well, this happened to me. I'm the victim. And the fact is, everything that happens is an opportunity for you to learn something, to see where you messed up, to see what mistakes you made, to correct, to develop a quality like strength or courage or perseverance that maybe you haven't spent a lot of time developing in your life, that you need to develop. So you're growing as a person. So it's a growth opportunity. So. And I heard a quote the other day, it was about this kind of work. It wasn't me that said it, but someone else that does this kind of work. I love what he said. He said there are no guarantees, but when you do this work, you increase the probability that you will win. I can't guarantee you that everyone who does this work will become a multimillionaire. But what I can guarantee you is if you do this work, you're more likely to achieve whatever you want, including becoming a multimillionaire. Many, many students do that. You know, self doubt, fear of taking action, limiting beliefs that show up. You know, I'm. I'm like, maybe it's a child. You were in school, you decided you were stupid because of something that happened in math class or whatever. And you kind of bury that belief. And then as an adult, you know, something happens and this belief kind of surfaces from when you were like 8 years old. I'm stupid. I can't do this. I'm not good at math, I can't handle money. You know, I'm not a business person. I'm not good at whatever it might be. And so that's just going to happen. You know, I don't have a lot of self doubts anymore, but would I say they never come up? I'd be a liar. They do. And what I've learned to do, though, is how to. How to process with them, how not to let them run me. I get negative feelings sometimes, but they don't stay with me more than like three or four or five minutes. I know how to move past them. So they will come. And you will fail. Sometimes you will have failures. Patty and I used to run these events for free on Wednesday nights to give people a preview of what our weekend workshops look like. We did one on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I think six people came. Normally we get 100. And my staff was all bummed out and freaked out because we worked so hard. I said, well, we learned something here. You don't do an event two days before Thanksgiving because everyone's going home to see their families. You get a choice. E plus R equals O. We teach this in our first chapter of my book on 100, responsibility for your life. There's an event, okay, you have a response to that event, and that produces an outcome. So you have an event like, you know, people didn't buy your book. No one showed up for your seminar. Your coaching client quit. Your husband said, I want a divorce, whatever it might be, or you got fired, or there's unemployment going on. There's a pandemic. These are events. Then you get a choice of what you say to yourself. You can say to yourself, this proves I'm no good. It'll never happen. I'm going to be a failure my whole life. That's one set of options. You can say, or you can say, this is a temporary setback. What is there to learn? Let me look. Maybe I need to study more, Learn more, partner up with somebody, see where I made a mistake, develop a new skill, whatever it might be. And then you're going to act on that and you're going to create a better outcome. So really, it's always your choice. Now, one of the things we've learned recently, there's this technique called eft, Emotional freedom technique. Many of you have heard about it, where you tap on these nine acupuncture points while you think about a negative belief or a feeling that's come up, like depression, anger, grief, sadness, you failed, whatever. And so literally, in about five minutes, or less. You can disappear a negative feeling, you can disappear a limiting belief. We teach that in our, in our work. You can also go online and go to YouTube, type in emotional freedom technique or EFT their books. I wrote one called Tapping into Ultimate Success. Their numbers out there. And because it's also called tapping. And so the reality is you can get past this. You don't have to let it run you. And I think one of the things we have to learn, I mentioned earlier, learn how to control your states so your failures don't become, you know, long term depressions. Joe Dispenza, who's the great teacher that I love, he says, you know, a feeling should last no longer than seven minutes. And some people say shorter than that. But if you keep dwelling on it, my sister shouldn't have done that, my boss shouldn't have said that, my kids should respect me more, whatever. Then it turns into a mood. And a mood can last for days and weeks. If you keep holding onto it like I know some people do, they're still pissed off at their parents because they didn't raise them right or they were alcoholics or they were abusive or whatever. Then it turns into your personality, you know, temperament and the personality. And then it's stuck with you. You're stuck with it. So you got to learn how to literally step and move through that. And there are a lot of ways to do that so you don't have to let it run you. And also, if you can replace fear with gratitude for what you do have, instead of focusing on what you don't have or thinking you're not going to have it in the future. Like right now, I'm sitting in front of a window looking out on nature. I've got these ring lights lighting me up. I got great equipment all around me. I got thousands of books as you can see behind me. I got plenty of stuff to read, men, a nice house, whatever. Now I can focus on some of the news that there's going to be a recession. I could worry about that. Or I can focus on what I have right now and appreciate it. And when I do that, then I'm living in a state of appreciation and gratitude. And we know we do that. Vibration goes up, we attract more, we're happier. People like to be around us more. They want to do business with us, they're going to stay with us, et cetera. Your kids will like you more, et cetera. So the other thing is to say the research recently done at Pepperdine University, successful people are willing to feel Uncomfortable. So we all live inside of a comfort zone. How much physical space we need around us. I know when I was in the the Middle east. Not the Middle east, the Eastern Europe and people that live in, I call them the stands, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, they have no sense of personal space. They come right up to you and just like they're right there in front of your face. Where in America, you know, if they get more than two feet close, we feel like, whoa. So we have a comfort zone. You have a comfort zone of how open you're willing to be with your emotions, how willing you are to share the things that you're concerned about, how much you're willing to risk financially when you invest and start a business and so forth. So we want to expand our comfort zone out in the way we do that. One of the ways is by taking small risks. And one of the things we've been teaching a lot about lately is that success by the inch is a cinch by the yard. It's hard. So we teach these things called micro actions. Take little tiny actions in the direction you want to go, build your self esteem, build your sense of integrity because you're doing what you say you want to do. And little by little you're expanding your comfort zone out. And then more and more you're able to ask for what you want. Say no to the people you need to say no to. Say yes to the things that you're excited about, even though your brain may not think it is, but your heart's telling you to do it. Start trusting that more. So, and then I would finally say, look, get it. Work with a couple of affirmations. You know, I have everything I need to do anything I want. I'm right now I'm effortlessly and easily attracting abundance into my life. You know, I'm smart enough and strong enough and connected enough and loved enough and worthwhile enough to, you know, earn and attract anything I need. Things like that are they actually work. So you can put those on your mirror in the morning and so forth and do them well.

And I just want to say one last thing because I know you've been at this for a long time. I'm just going to tell of you, I still get afraid. In fact, we're doing breakthrough success next week. And I'm like reading through everything, okay, am I going to blow this? Am I going to do it right? And I always thought if I just practiced by myself and did these things that I would get better at something. But I had to actually take the action and the more I did it and the more frequently I did it, the easier it got. And because we aren't doing live stuff every week, I still get nervous. But I set myself up for it. I say yes to go to a speaking event, or I say yes to something that I would rather not have to do on Friday night, like take grandma to the doctor or whatever it is, just to keep myself in check. I literally have little hacks that I use by committing to something that I cannot get out of. And so if I commit to that, then I have to show up and do it. Just want you to know, I'm not sitting over here. Not afraid. I'm always afraid. Not always afraid. But I get excited and afraid. You know how I am. All right, so, Jack, in lieu of time, I know we've got a few more questions here, and there's a couple more things in the chat that I wanted to go through. I know that one person has said, you know, I have this big goal, and I really want to accomplish it. What are my first steps to achieve? Achieving it. And I. I just want to say this to all of you. When you have a big goal, it's really good to write it down, get it on paper, map it out. Please, just. And. And take some time out of your life, whether it's with a friend, whether it's with a coach, whether it's with us. I know we're doing bts. That's a great spot to spend three days. Just focus on, what do you want? Because we did that, what, every quarter, almost our entire career for chicken soup. Every quarter, we went and took two or three days to focus on just us with no noise. Do you remember those days?

Yeah.

What are you doing over there?

I was reading the chat to see if there are any other questions.

I know, I know. I can always tell when he's up to something. But it's really. It's important to take the time for ourselves to take a time out. And I think what I hear often is, oh, I can't do that. I've got to take care of the kids or somebody else. And we tend to put ourselves on the back burner, as Jack said in the very beginning of this call. So if we don't start to put ourselves first, we get burnt out, we go into resignation, and we are not happy campers. And we're also not good examples for those. Those around us. And then it just kind of cycles out. So I want to really encourage all of you to think about if I don't do What I want to do if I don't live my dream, what is it going to cost me? Because it's really important. And I know for me, that was a big stretch because I was raising kids while I was doing this, But a lot of you that know me have heard my kids say, mom, anybody could have driven me to practice, but nobody could have showed me how to live my purpose and my passion. And so we. We want to be walking billboards for the people around us. And we can say, you should do this or come with me to that. Somebody put in the chat. I've been trying to get my friends to go to bts, but they just. There was it. Was it. I think it was Terry trying to get people to go to BTS and to do this work, but they just don't seem interested. So instead of trying to enroll somebody into something, just show up as that person. And. And that is much more energetically a vibration that works. And they'll. It's contagious, so. Or have the bum on the corner do it, because if you're the parent or their friend, they're not going to listen. All right.

I often tell that story about a friend of ours who was. Went to India and worked with the spiritual teacher over there. And she comes home and she writes him a letter. She says, you know, every time I talk about Buddhism, my parents hate me. Every time I act like the Buddha, my parents love me. So one of the things you can do is instead of trying to always enroll people into what you're doing, just be the result of it. If you're succeeding and you're happy and you're healthy and you're, you know, doing all that, people, they start to go like, what are you doing? Why are you smiling all the time? But when you try to push it down their throat, their natural response is to resist. I'll often bring people up on a stage in a live seminar. I'll just say, put your hands up, and they put them out. And I just start pushing on their hands. I immediately push back because that's our natural reaction being pushed. We just push back. It's kind of built into the system. And so basically, I would avoid that. Then someone said, how can I support and encourage a family member who has zero motivation to improve themselves? I would say, in general, you're probably not going to do that. And it's a waste of time, you know. You know, trying to remember. I can't remember the quote. It was something like, you know, if you lie down anyway, it's going to irritate the pig. Someone may remember the quote, but the point being that when you're trying to change somebody else, it rarely works. If you are living it again, the life that you want to live and you're happy, they may become interested. Some people have just given up. Some people are really happy where they are. Some people are not necessarily. This isn't their life path to go and like improve the themselves and at a high level. Or they may hit some event, like they'll have a heart attack or a car accident or almost die from, you know, cancer or whatever, and then they wake up. We all have our own situations. I like to wake up and just go through life, you know, because it's a choice to be alive and awake rather than to have to have an emergency like an automatic accident or a heart attack to do that. Someone once said, we are a cancer society with a heart attack mentality, which means in general that we're slowly dying because we eat crappy food, we don't exercise, eat too much sugar, we drink too much alcohol, we're not taking care of ourselves emotionally, not getting enough sleep, we're not getting enough exercise. And I talked to a doctor recently who said if I only had one word I could write on every prescription, it would be exercise. At least get 30 minutes of high intensity interval training, weightlifting, strength training, et cetera. And most of us are not doing that. And then all of a sudden the heart attack comes along and it wakes us up. We wake up when there was nine, 11 in America, we woke up to, gee, we're vulnerable. We better pay more attention to what we're doing out here in the world. If they do get cancer, it's often too late. But if they get it, they change their diet, they stop smoking, they exercise, they eat better, et cetera. Don't wait until you have an emergency to change your life. You want to change it on purpose so that you avoid those catastrophic events so you don't have to have them. They're just there to wake you up. If you could choose to wake up intentionally, you can avoid that kind of stuff. So you want to go ahead, Patty.

So I'm saying I know we don't have a lot of time, and I really want to respect everyone's time, but there's a lot of questions about I'm not feeling fulfilled. Have you ever experienced this where you're sort of realizing you're stuck and you want to move in a different direction? I have so many ideas, I don't know where to Start. How do I get focused? How do I overcome procrastination? So we stick to our plans. I have many goals, some long term, some short term. How do I prioritize? Those are all great questions. And what I would say is come join us. If you're. How many of you are coming to BTS next week? Anybody? I would say if you can come and join us for that week. It's not a week, it's three days. Give yourself some space, give yourself permission to put yourself first and literally walk through all these things that Jack just talked about. You know, you look at, where are you? Where do you want to be? What do you really want? Knowing that you can stand in your power with that intentional response to get a better outcome. What actions do I need to take? Visualize it, affirm it. We create ideal scenarios. We go through the whole thing. But if you don't have the time to think it through, then it'll feel half baked. And that's what gets you off track. And we want to put you on a path that will help you succeed and have more success and in less time and with less effort and less pain, because I've been there. So do you want to just talk about that a little bit about what we're doing? Because I think a lot of people here.

Yeah, we're running a. It's a virtual seminar. It's online. You don't have to go anywhere. You just be where you are right now, sitting in front of your computer. And it's Thursday, Friday and Saturday of next week. And we'll be in. We live in la and Patty also that has a house in Nashville. We're going to go down in South Carolina to a studio where we'll be able to see all of you. Literally, I think there's 500 people signed up right now, 560 people from all around the world. And we'll be able to see all of you that will have like eight big screens on a wall where there's 100 faces on each screen. And we can call on you. We can walk up and say, hey, Jacqueline, or hey, Ronnie or whatever. And we can get your attention and interact with you. You can raise your hand, ask questions. We do a lot of interactive exercises that are really engaging. We're not just talking at you like we doing now. And also there's. There's. I mentioned priming earlier about how to really get your energy up for the day. We're going to do that. We'll teach you how to do that, and we'll do it in depth. One of the mornings, we're going to help you go back. We'll help you identify a limiting belief. Right now is subconscious. You don't even know you have it. But we're going to help you see what is that thing that gets in the way. You don't make that phone call. You don't reach out. You don't decide which of the many businesses you can. You know, the thing about having too many choices, not deciding, that's called safe. Can't fail if you don't choose. So what is it that's stopping you from choosing? And so that we'll, we'll literally look at that and we've got a process that then will bring up that belief into your consciousness, take you back into your childhood where you form that belief, actually recreate a new belief that's more powerful than the one you created by misinterpreting what was happening in your life, thinking the world was against you for you, and then turn it into an empowering affirmation. You'll literally feel a physiological shift in your body as you do that. And you'll have that, that ability to take that same technique and run yourself through anytime you feel stuck and you want to, you want to move forward. We're going to look at your purpose, your vision. We're going to look at three areas of your life. You'll pick one to focus on. We'll teach you the techniques for how to manifest that vision, the steps you need to take. You'll have a plan as you leave. Then you can apply those same steps to any area of your life. We'll look at seven different areas that we all have of relationships and finance and job and career and fun and recreation. Making a contribution, a difference in the world. You know, all that kind of stuff. So basically that's, that's what we'll be doing. And there'll be a chance for you to ask questions to get even better answers than you're getting now, because we won't be rushing through them at the same level we're doing right now. And part of the fun of it is I would say about 100 of those people will be people that have gone through the program before and are coming back just to kind of re. Energize themselves. So you'd be surrounded by a lot of people that are totally committed to getting to the same kind of things you want to achieve. We have people that come in from India who stay up, I know, in the middle of the night, but they do it because they see the value of that and people from 40 different countries in the last training we did. So I imagine it'll be about the same. You'll meet people that maybe you become friends with, co author books with, become accountability partners for. We're going to have you do a mastermind group process during the training so you'll know how that mastermind group model works. You may choose to continue that with the people that you do it with in a training or you can create your own where you live. That technique is so, so powerful in terms of ongoing maintenance for you in terms of keeping, you know, people say it's often easy to lose weight, but it's hard to maintain keeping it up. That's true with any goal. So again, having these built in relationships that you can come out of the training with are really important.

I want to say one more thing real quick. There's a lot of people on this call that said this is the first time they've ever been on a call. And I just want to acknowledge the people that are here for the first time because this is probably something that might feel uncomfortable. And if you were on here in the beginning when I said I went to that one workshop, I was really uncomfortable. I did not want to go, but I said yes to the guy who was my boss at the time and he was going to leave and go become a trainer. And so I felt obligated. It was a huge stretch. If I hadn't have done that, I would never have had the life that I have today. The only thing I even remember walking out of there with was one thing I wanted, which was to make more money because I was 24. It might be more sanity, it might be more peace, it might be more free time for any of you. But I really want to encourage you that if it feels uncomfortable, just go for it. I mean, it's not as uncomfortable because you get to come, you get to study from your own living room. Some people go to a hotel and they watch it from there. But I just want to acknowledge that piece because I've been in your seat and I'm just so glad that someone cared about me enough to say, come on, you have to go, you have to go to change your life. And I just want to add that because I don't take that lightly. And I know that that's probably going through some people's heads. Now that I interrupted you. Do you remember what you're going to say next?

Yeah, I'm just remembering Brian Tracy, who's a Friend of ours is also a teacher of this kind of work. He coined a word called wittits W D I D T s, which is an acronym for why didn't I do this sooner? And he said, the main thing that people say when they take a seminar like this for the first time is why didn't I do this sooner? I used to run some couples workshops, and the women would drag their men to come, and then the men would always turn to the wife on the last day and say, why didn't you make me do this sooner? This has really changed our relationship. I'm so excited. So if you're thinking about joining us, I really want to encourage you to do that. Let me tell you how to do it. You just go to jackcampfield.com forward/ and then type in the word breakthrough. So BTS stands for breakthrough to success. So just www.jackcanfield.com breakthrough. And all the information you need to get signed up is right there. This is really inexpensive training as a couple hundred bucks to be able to do it. And if you put type in the word transform, T r a n s F O R m into the where it says promo code, you can save another $50. So again, just go to Jack canfield.com forward slash, breakthrough. So again, I want to thank you for joining us today from all around the world, taking your time off. I know time is the most precious thing you have. It's the one thing you can't get more of. Once it's spent, it's gone. And so thank you for spending with us for an hour. Look forward to having some of you join us next week. I know it's short notice, but if you really want to see your life take a quantum leap, I'd really encourage you to go to jackcample.com breakthroughs, see all the details, sign up. And if you really want to go for it big time, bring a friend. I mean, obviously you're sitting in your living room watching it. You know, if you want someone else sitting there next to you listening, that's fine with us. Because what we know is that when someone else goes with it through you, whether it's your spouse, whether it's a partner, whether it's a friend. We've had teenage children do it with their parents. What happens is everybody's on the same page, knowing the same principles, the same techniques, the same concepts. It's much easier when you leave. It's all integrated. You're not trying to convince someone else or fight the culture because it's all been integrated in the training, so look forward to seeing you there. Thank you for joining us again. Jackcampfield.com forward/breakthrough.

Thanks, everyone, and have a happy Easter. If you're celebrating Easter this weekend. If you're not, just have a great weekend and hopefully we'll see you soon. Thanks for showing up.

All right. Bye, everybody.