How to Reject Rejection | Jack Canfield

Hi, I'm Jack Canfield. Today I want to talk to you about how to reject rejection and how to use it to launch yourself even closer to your goals. All of us experience rejection at some point in our lives. From applying for a job to asking someone out on a date, we've all been told no. It's an inevitable part of life. But too many people think that rejection equals failure. They think it's a sign they should abandon whatever it is they were trying to accomplish. Now, I'm sure you know people who are rejected by someone or something and let that rejection stop them from moving forward in life. Maybe they were rejected by a romantic interest and decided to give up on love altogether. Maybe they didn't get a bank loan, so they never followed through on their plan to start their own business. Or maybe they wrote a book that was rejected by several publishers, and so they simply abandoned their dream of becoming an author. I find that so sad, because rejection is what you make of it. If you accept it as the end of the road and the death of a goal, it will be. But if you reject the idea that rejection means failure and instead approach it as a positive learning experience, simply a natural step on the path to getting where you want to go, you can harness the power of rejection and use it to propel yourself toward even higher levels of success. Because here's the deal. You are going to be rejected many, many, many times in life. But that doesn't mean you're on the wrong track or that your goals aren't worth pursuing. It doesn't mean you can't ultimately get what you want. It is just a delay in results. It may be that you've asked the wrong person, or maybe you asked the right person at the wrong time. It may also mean that you need to get better at how to make effective requests or how to give good sales pitches. It could also mean that the universe is testing your resolve, gauging how much you really want it. What's your level of commitment? Now, if getting everything we want were easy, everyone would already have everything they want, which is obviously not the case. No simply means not yet. So keep asking. A yes is out there waiting to be asked. Now, I'd like you to consider this. Rejection is a myth. Now let me say that again. Rejection is a myth at the deepest level. If you ask for something and get a no, your life didn't get worse. If I were to ask you out for dinner and you said, no, my life didn't get worse, I didn't have anyone to eat dinner with before I asked you out. And I don't have anyone to eat dinner with after I asked you out. My life stayed the same. Now it only feels worse if I start talking to myself and telling myself things like, there must be something wrong with me. I'll never get a date. We're all going to die alone. Now we tell ourselves that we've lost something when a person says no to us, but that's not true at all. If you get turned down for that date or passed over for that promotion, you're no worse off than you were before. Plus, you're now in a position to receive some valuable information that you may not have had access to before, because now you can ask that person why they said no. More importantly, you can ask them this valuable question. What would have to happen for you to say yes now? The answer could give you some valuable feedback on how to be more effective in the future. And that's incredibly powerful information to have. You know? When Mark, Victor, Hansel, and I were trying to find a publisher for the first Chicken Soup of the Soul book, we were turned down by publisher after publisher after publisher, 144 publishers. And one day I asked the question, what would have to happen for you to say yes? And one publisher said we would have to know that we could sell 20,000 copies of the book. So Mark and I spent the next year handing out a sheet of paper to every person at every talk we did that said, I promise to buy fill in the blank number of copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul when it is published. We had them sign it, put down their mailing address and their phone number. And when we had 20,000 promises to buy, we showed it to the publisher, and he was then willing to take that risk. When you simply allow rejection to stop you from keeping on asking, you give your personal power over to someone else. But you're the only person who ultimately has control over your own destiny. So don't let one person's opinion stop you from achieving your heartfelt dreams and your highest vision for your life. That said, I know that becoming comfortable with rejection is often easier said than done, especially if you're an introvert like me. But here's a simple acronym that has helped me a lot in the past. Swswswsw. It stands for the words Some will, some won't. So what? Someone's waiting. In other words, some people will definitely say yes to you, and some won't so care. And there's no point in stressing about it, because even when you do get a no. There's definitely someone out there who. Who's waiting to give you a yes. Now, this is what I've told myself over the years whenever I've received a no. And you know what? I always ended up finding the person who was waiting to give me a yes. Now here's another helpful formula for success in asking when the world says no, you say, next. Ask the next person. There are a lot of people out there in the world. 7 billion to be exact. Now, that's a lot of possibilities. You can also ask the same person at a later date. Maybe their circumstances have changed. Maybe they have more money now than they have before. Maybe they have new needs now. Maybe they have a more open mind. Now think about this. Every actor, singer or writer who's ever made it big, every single one of them has experienced rejection time and time and time again. Take George Lucas, for example. The first two movie studios he approached to make the new space movie Star wars passed on the idea. If he had given up after those two rejections, pop culture history would never have been made and Lucas wouldn't have gone on to sell the Star wars franchise to Disney for $4 billion. And speaking of Disney, Walt Disney was actually fired from the Kansas City star back in 1919 as a cartoonist. Why? They told him, the creator of Mickey Mouse, that he lacked imagination and had no good ideas. Imagine if he'd listened to them instead of trusting in himself. Or take Steve Jobs, the iconic founder of Apple. He was fired by his own board of directors, but he didn't let that stop him from pursuing his dreams. He eventually came back and reinvented the company and was responsible for making it the largest company in the world today. Or how about Chicken Soup for the Soul, the book that made me a multimillionaire. It was rejected by 144 publishing companies, and before Mark and I finally got a yes. Now, I could have given up at any point during those 144 rejections, but I didn't. And thank goodness, because the 145th company we approached said yes. And that dramatically and forever changed my life, including making me a multimillionaire. Now, here's one of my favorite quotes from author Barbara Kingsolver, who I was fortunate enough to meet one year in Hawaii at the Maui Writers Conference. She writes this. This manuscript of yours that has just come back from another editor is a precious package. Don't consider it rejected. Consider that you've addressed it to the editor who can appreciate my work, and it has simply come back stamped not at this address. Just keep looking for the right address Now Many of the world's most successful business people have experienced repeated rejection, but they never let it stop them from achieving their wildly ambitious goals. When Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks, was trying to raise money to open his first coffee stores, he spoke to 242 people and 217 of them said no. If he had given up, there would be no Starbucks today. So the next time someone tells you no, you say next and move on to the next opportunity to reach your goal. Just remember that in order to learn from your rejection, you have to be willing to explore it. Simply ask the person why they said no and what you would need to do to get a yes. Listen to their feedback and decide if it makes sense to you. If not, ask for a second opinion from someone you trust. But learn where the gaps are between where you are and where you want to be and what you need to do to fill in those gaps. So here's your homework to complete after watching this video, think about the one thing that you've been afraid to do because you've been scared of hearing a no or getting rejected, and then go do it. Remember, if they say no, you're in the exact same place as you were when you started. There's really nothing to lose. And if you feel inspired, please leave a comment below with your thoughts. I'd love to read what you have to say, so thank you for watching. And remember, nothing in your life will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on how to reject rejection, visit my website@jackcampfield.com thanks again for watching.