How to Rewrite Your Story At Any Age | Jack Canfield

What kind of stories have you been telling yourself lately? I'm talking about the kind of stories you tell yourself about who you are and what you're capable of, as well as the stories you have about how relationships work, how money works, what you're capable of, what you deserve, what is spiritual and not spiritual, and so on. Now, all these stories are critical because they define your perception of yourself and the world around you, and they have a huge impact on how you show up in the world and the kind of results you get in life. But make no mistake, these stories that you tell yourself are just that, stories. And you have the power to rewrite these stories at any time. So today I'd like to share some tips on how to flip the script and create a new story or stories for yourself that will make it a lot easier for you to show up as your best self and create a life that truly makes you happy, no matter how old you are or what stage of life you're in. Now, before we get into it, let's take a moment to dig into those stories that you've been telling yourself in recent months and consider where they may be holding you back. Now, when you think of yourself and who you are, what immediately comes up for you? Do you immediately have a positive feeling about yourself and feel like you're generally a good person who is capable of creating and worthy of having a happy, abundant, and fulfilling life for yourself? Or do you immediately experience a negative feeling about yourself and find yourself thinking things like, I'm actually not that good a person, or because I did or didn't do this thing, I don't deserve to be happy or successful. I'll tell you a story. I was down in Texas, Florida, actually. I was working at a monastery. And there was a monk there who had been in World War II. And he led a group of people up the Rhine river, and everyone in his platoon was killed except him. And he felt terribly guilty about it. And so he came back. He decided he didn't deserve to be happy anymore. So he joined the monastery, not because he wanted to feel closer to God, but because he wanted to deny himself the pleasures of being alive. And that's the kind of story that he told himself. I don't deserve to live because these people died. And just last week, I was running a train, the trainer program, before we recorded this. And the reality is that there was a woman there. And when she was very young, you know, probably younger than 10, she had seen three kids out of the water, and they were starting to flail like this. And it was clear they were going to drown if someone didn't come out and help them. So she found a board, and she swam out to them with the board so they could grab on and she could pull them back to shore. And she accidentally hit one of the kids in the head with the board, and that child drowned. And here she was in her 70s, you know, 60 years later, and she was still feeling guilty, like she didn't deserve to have a happiness, to have a full life because of something she did when she was a young child. And the truth is, when we helped her reframe all that, she didn't kill a child. She saved two children who would have drowned if she hadn't flown, if she hadn't swum out there. So when you think about other people and the world around you, think about this also. Do you find yourself focusing on the good things and feeling a general sense of optimism for society in the future? Or do you find yourself feeling constantly angry and frustrated with other people and depressingly pessimistic about what the future holds for you? Now, if you find yourself overly focusing on the negative, then the time has come for you to flip the script and write a new story for yourself and your life. Because if you're feeling bad, the stories you're currently telling yourself or the meanings you're assigning to those stories simply aren't the total truth. They're based on incomplete understanding of reality. Because the truth is, everything you are calling bad also has a positive in it, like the two sides of the same story, like the woman who saved those two kids. And when you focus on what you call the bad, and you don't pay attention to all that's good in the world, you create a very negative perspective of the world that will lead you to believe that things are much worse than they actually really are. And that negative attitude will ultimately make it a lot harder for you to stay motivated and and focused on creating the kind of life that you want and deserve to experience. So what I'd like you to do is take a few minutes to write down anything that's happened to you in the past 12 months. So I'm gonna give you a few minutes to do that in a minute. But I want you to think back over the last year and write down whatever comes into your mind that has happened to you. And be sure to include all of the fun times and the personal wins you experience, no matter how small. Let's say you reconnected with a family member. And be sure to write that down, you stood up for yourself when someone was trying to make you feel bad. Write that down too, and think about did you read any good books? Did you enjoy fun times in nature? Did you spend some quality time with your family? Did you learn how to use some helpful new online tools? I want you to write it all down, and the more you can think of, the better. And also be sure to include your hard times and the challenges you had too. Except when you go to write them down, I want you to reframe them as a positive statement. So, for example, let's say you lost your job. Write down, I lost my job and I survived. Or if you broke up with your partner, write my relationship ended and I'm still okay, or My life is better than ever now. Remember, the challenges you face in life may not be fun, but they all serve an important purpose in your life. They teach you many valuable new lessons. They may draw out from you new qualities like courage and humility and perseverance and discipline and the willingness to ask for support, things you can use to overcome similar challenges more easily and with greater mastery in the future. In other words, they make you a more capable person. So if you've been telling yourself that past 12 months have been a horrible, no good, terrible, very bad year, instead focus on the fact that you've experienced a year of powerful learning, surviving, accepting, allowing, and growing, that is most likely also included a lot of bright spots. Now, because the fact is both of those statements can be true at the same time. And when you look for and focus on the good instead of only seeing the bad, you're going to find it a lot easier to cultivate the positive mindset and the confidence you need to stay motivated and to keep working towards your goals no matter what is happening in the world around you. So let's go ahead and write for a few minutes. I'm going to pause and let you write, and then we'll come back in just a few. Just a minute or two. So go ahead and start writing, Okay? If you have more you want to write, you can certainly add to that list when this video ends. But finally, before I go, what I'd like to do is encourage you not to focus on what we call the gap. See, when people set goals for themselves, and I'm sure you did that this year, and then they end up falling short of those goals. All too often they focus on the gap between what they wanted to accomplish, which is up here, and what they actually accomplished, which is down here. Let's say for example, that your goal was to lose 75 pounds and run a marathon, but you only lost 50 pounds and you ran a 5k race. Now too many people would focus on the fact that they fell 25 pounds short of their goal in this gap and only managed to complete a short race rather than a full marathon, and they would allow the supposed failure to cause them disappointment and negatively color their opinion of themselves. But the fact is they actually lost 50 pounds from here where they started up to where they actually ended up and they ran a race. So they're both worthy accomplishments that deserve to be celebrated. So if you haven't managed to achieve all of your goals yet, or if your life isn't quite what you hoped it would be, please don't beat yourself up for that. Instead, focus on what you have accomplished and look for opportunities to remind yourself I am capable of setting and achieving great results for myself. Remember, no matter what your life currently looks like, you always have the capacity to change your experience for the better. And no matter how chaotic and how uncertain the world happens to be, there's always something good to focus on. And the more you pay attention to everything that's good in the world, the more motivated and inspired you'll be to continue striving to create positive changes in your life and your relationships and the universe that's immediately around you. Now. If you found this video helpful, please make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one. And for some additional success practices and resources. Be sure to visit my website@jackcampfield.com and check out the links in the description below and let me know what you think in the comments. So thanks again for watching.