Two speakers discuss why women interrupt men and how to fix it. Wait 30 seconds for a full answer instead of jumping in, and don't rephrase what he just said. Men focus on one thing at a time, so give them space to finish.
So we have a couple open loops here. I think we started with three things women are doing wrong. We've covered two. Want to just talk about the third one? And then we'll switch back on this.
Oh, my gosh, I'm going to have to pick a third one. A third top thing that women are doing wrong. All right, I would say this ties into single focus. I would say interrupting men. Interrupting men is one of the biggest things that women are doing wrong that comes back at them in so many ways because of what they want. So to explain, women want men to communicate. Talk to me, tell me, tell me more. The problem is we don't wait long enough. We don't wait long enough. Can I give you an example? Please. So what normally happens is a woman asks a man a question, and he doesn't answer right away. So she figures he didn't understand the question. You've experienced this?
Oh, yes, yes.
So she rephrases the question, and then he doesn't answer that question right away. So then she figures, well, maybe this essay business is just too difficult. Let's try multiple choice. And she gives him possible answers, right. And doesn't understand the look of frustration on his face and how he throws up his hands and walks away. And then she complains that he's uncommunicative. So not knowing that a man is single, focused, she has no idea what's going on over there. Okay, which is she asks a question. He assumes since she asked the question, she wants to know the answer. So he's thinking about it. Right? He's committing himself to the answer to that question. Right. Say, for example, she says, where do you want to go on vacation? Right. So he's really thinking about, where do I want to go on vacation? But he doesn't just blurt something out like a woman would. So then she rephrases it. Well, you know, so where do you think we should go on vacation? Well, now he's got to let go of the first question and commit himself to a new question. That's a completely different question. Where do I think we should go? Where do I think we should go? I mean, that means how much money we should spend. How much time we should spend. Where do I think we should go? I mean, this is a really important question. So now he's thinking about that question, right? And he's just getting going to thinking. And that question is when she says, so do you want to go to France or Italy? He doesn't want to go to France or Italy. Right. He's like, I can't win here. Throws up his hands and walks away. And it's just because she doesn't know he's single, focused, he's going to commit himself, and she actually has to wait, just to wait for the answer. We teach women to count to 30. They find it excruciating, but they start getting the answers, their questions, that's great. And then we teach them to listen to the answer. And then when he pauses, don't jump in. Count to 30 again. He'll look and see if he has anything more to say about that. He might give him a chance, right? Let him speak again. Then if he pauses again, count to 30 again. How do you know when you're done? You guys are amazing. You say, that's all I have to say about that. Most women have never heard a man say that because they interrupted too many times. He's never got a chance to say everything he had to say about something. And that's really all I've been doing since 1991, is listening and waiting for the whole story. And that's how I've learned so much about men.
Very interesting. That's a great piece of advice. Great piece of information.
