Staying Calm In Stressful Situations | Jack Canfield

Hi there. I'm Jack Canfield, co creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and the co author of the Success Principles. And if you've been watching the news lately, it can seem sometimes as if the entire world has gone nuts. There's a lot of anger, fear and frustration out there, which is totally understandable. It's been a tough couple of years that have affected all of us in different ways. But when there's such a high level of tension and strife and it's all that people seem to want to talk about, the question becomes, how do you manage to stay sane and positive and optimistic about your life and your future in the midst of all that? And that's what I'd like to talk about today. And here's the first and most important thing I'd like you to realize. The only thing you are in control of in your life is your response to everything else that's happening. And that response includes your thoughts, the pictures and images you create in your mind, in your actions, what you say and what you do. And you need to remember that you can't control what is happening in the world around you. All you can control are your responses to it. And that's the basis of the E plus R equals O equation that I teach to all of my students. It's that secret formula to success, to happiness, and to inner peace. As many of you have been following me and my work. E plus R equals O. As you know, stands for an E, which is an event plus your R, your responses to it equals O. The outcomes that you experience. And it asserts that your outcomes that you experience, your level of health or sickness, happiness or unhappiness, stress or inner peace, are not the result of the events that are occurring in the world and in your life, but rather the result of the response or responses you have to them. Now, the truth is that the only thing you can control is your response. You can't control the events, but you can control your responses. And by learning how to respond in a more positive and more effective way, you can ensure a more successful outcome, both internally how you feel and externally to what you produce and experience, whatever the event might be that you're responding to. So, for example, let's say that following a certain story in the news is really upsetting you. Perhaps it's making you feel a lot of anger and disappointment and disillusionment. And all of the scrolling and video watching you have been doing to stay on top of the latest developments is not only making you even angrier, it's taking time and energy away from things that would provide a much more satisfying payoff in your life, such as working on your business or personal projects, or spending quality time with your family, or acquiring new skills and knowledge that would actually enrich your life and make you happier and more fulfilled. So there are two things to consider here. The first is that the news can't make you angry or unhappy. It's your belief that what you're witnessing in the news shouldn't be happening. That person shouldn't be doing or saying what they're doing or saying. That congressperson shouldn't be voting the way they are. That school shooting should never have happened. It's not the event that's affecting you, it's how you're thinking about it. And the solution is to release the belief and release your demand that the world live up to your expectations. Now. Yes, that requires working on yourself and releasing some beliefs. That's some work. And learning to be at peace with the way the world is as it is. There are many contemporary teachers that provide useful techniques for doing this work. Let's look at a few of them. Byron Katie has developed what she calls the work. You can learn more about that and her approach by reading her book Loving what Is and by watching her videos on YouTube. I have found her work to be incredibly helpful in my own life and with my students. Now you can also check out the Sedona Method. It's taught by my friend Hill Dwoskin and he's written a book by that title, the Sedona Method, and he's produced many audio programs. You can get to learn how to use his method. Now you can also check out the Abraham Hipps work that teaches you to always be thinking what they call a better feeling thought. So if your thoughts are making you feel bad, it's the result of the thought that, not the event that you're thinking about. And you can learn to focus on reaching for a thought that makes you feel better. One thought that has always helped me is that person or that group is doing the best they can with the current awareness, knowledge, skills and tools they have to meet some basic humanity that they have. Now. I choose not to believe that they're evil, but that they're just unaware and unskilled. Now the second option in life you have is to stop interacting with those people and things that are triggering you. Stop watching or listening to the news or endlessly scrolling through your social media sites. Take a digital detox break. Remember that news outlets are designed to upset you the emotional stimulation keeps you glued to the channel or to the site. There are logarithms that are designed to capture your attention so that you stick around longer and you end up seeing more advertisements, which is where they make their money. Now. Meanwhile, your feeling good has been hijacked. So choose to spend more time watching and listening to people and things that inspire you and bring you joy. Spend time doing the things you love and that you're good at. Turn off the tv, stop listening to the gossips and to the doomsayers in your life, and spend more time listening to music with uplifting lyrics, reading books and listening to podcasts and watching videos and movies that uplift you and that inspire you. You see, for every problem in the world, there are people and organizations that are successfully addressing and solving those problems. And when the world is full of stress and strife, research shows us that getting physical, dancing, exercising, working out, doing Tai chi, or going to a yoga class or a Pilates class, going for a hike or bike riding, or going for a relaxing walk in nature, either by yourself or with a friend, are all ways to relieve stress and strengthen your immune system and build up your strength and endurance. These are all healthy responses to an any seemingly insane events in the world. Now, the next thing I encourage you to remember when it seems like the world is going nuts is that whatever you see in the news or think you know about what's happening in the world, it's actually a very narrow and very skewed version of our incredibly complex reality. And that's just the nature of reality and how we perceive it. Psychologists refer to it as all you see is all there is. And each of us view reality through the lens of our own background, our experiences, and our beliefs. And that's because that's all we see. It can be really tempting to believe that that's all there is. So when you see a video of a group of people representing a certain group acting in ways you think are bad, it can be very tempting to assume that all people within that group act badly, when the truth is that the vast majority of people are actually wonderful and they all want the same things. You want to love and be loved and have the freedom to pursue their dreams and and create a life that makes them happy. So even though the news and the chatter on social media might make it seem like the world is going nuts, the truth is most people are keeping their heads down, they're doing their best, and they're living their lives just like they've always done. I think it's really important to remember that things are never as bad as the news makes it seem. It's just that we always tend to focus on the news stories that are the most dramatic or alarming. They're the ones that the media pushes out because they know they'll catch your attention. And the reason why they catch your attention is because they're unusual, they're rare, they go against the norm, and so they stick out in our minds, which makes us think that they are more prevalent than they really are. The truth is, most of the really big bad stories on the news don't have any real or lasting impact on your specific life. And I think it's important to remember that. Now, this is not to say that there are not things in the world that need solving. There are racism, sexism, government corruption, social injustice, poverty, pollution, and climate change. Those are all things that need addressing. But in order to maintain your sanity and create a fulfilling life, you need to choose what you're going to address and let the rest go. So if you want to lead a life of inner peace, you have to notice what and who you are attracted to dealing with. I remember when I was in India, a land of immense poverty, which is visible everywhere. Upon asking friends there how I could possibly help, they said, some child, some animal, some school, a specific charity or cause will capture your heart and that's the one you should give to. And that's what my wife and I have done. You can't solve everything, but you'll find something you're attracted to. Focus on that. Let everything else go. Now, finally, my last piece of advice for you is when it seems like the whole world is going crazy, it's time to spend more time with the people you love and with people who focus on the positive and inspire you to be your best. One of the best antidotes for seeming chaos is connection. When you spend quality time with people you love and care about, even if it's just going out for a beer or meeting up for a walk, you're reminded of how wonderful most people actually are. So I want to encourage you to cultivate relationships with positive people who aren't interested in sitting around complaining about the state of the world, but who are compassionate and are loving individuals who are dedicated to doing their best and making a positive impact in their families and on the world around them, even if that impact is simply raising two healthy, happy kids or simply smiling at strangers in the street. And when I say positive people, I don't mean people who focus only on the positive and refuse to acknowledge that there are real problems in the world. Focusing on the positive doesn't mean pretending the negative doesn't exist. It means seeing the world as it is and understanding that what you focus on grows. So if you focus your energy on growing what is positive in the world, your life will be better, your mindset and your mood will be better, and you will literally be able to make a more positive impact on the world. Okay, now those are some of my thoughts on what to do when the world seems like it's going insane. Remember E R equals O and that the only thing you can control is your response to the events that happen in your life. So if you want to change your experience, learn how to change your response wants, your thoughts and your actions so that you get a better outcome. Stop doing the things that don't serve you and start doing the things that bring you more joy, more peace, and more hope. And also remember that all of the anger and division and strife you might be seeing in the news is just a very small fraction of what's going on in the world and that most people, no matter what community they belong to, are good hearted individuals that want the same things you do. And finally, remember that one of the strongest antidotes to chaos is connection. And do what you can to cultivate relationships with people you love and people who inspire you or make you feel good about your fellow humans. And by surrounding yourself with positive, solution focused people, you're going to find it much easier to stay inspired and motivated for working on your goals and creating life that you want. Okay, that's it for today. And before you leave, I'd love for you to identify one action that you'll take today or tomorrow at the latest to bring more joy and positivity into your life. And then share that action in the comments below. And remember that by stating your intention publicly in this way, it increases your chances of actually doing it. And for some additional tools and videos on how to be happier and get more of the results you want in life, be sure to check out the resource page on my website@jackcampfield.com you'll find there's a ton of great free stuff there that will help you. Thanks again for watching and have an amazing rest of the day. Sam.