The Difference Between Perfect and Happy | Jack Canfield

Hi there, I'm Jack Canfield, and today I want to talk to you about the difference between perfect and happy and how to create a life that truly brings you joy and fulfillment. You know, these days it seems like there is more pressure than ever for us to live the perfect life. Every time we go online, we see pictures of our friends on social media, traveling around the world, enjoying magical moments with their friends and family in beautiful locations and humble bragging about their latest accomplishments in their business or their career. And when you compare your life to theirs, it can feel like you're failing to measure up. And then there's the pressure to live up to other people's expectations of you and do what you're, quote, unquote, supposed to do in order to be successful in life. Move up the corporate ladder, get married by a certain age, have a perfect house and be perfect parents to your perfect children, make lots of money and drive a fancy car. But there's a huge difference between perfect and happy. Now it's time for you to get clear on what will really give you the joy and the fulfillment you desire. The fact is, people who spend all their time and energy trying to make sure their lives are perfect are usually the unhappiest people I know. That's because perfect isn't possible. Perfect implies 100% success every single time. And life just doesn't work that way. You see, you're going to make mistakes and you're going to suffer setbacks. You're going to find yourself falling down or sometimes having to make sacrifices in certain areas of your life. Maybe you're not able to keep your house as clean as you'd like it to be because you're always busy working and taking care of the kids. Maybe your business isn't growing as fast as you thought it would because getting the word out and building relationships with potential customers or clients are taking more time and effort than you predicted. Maybe you're not able to take your family on expensive and exotic vacations every year. Maybe your house isn't as big as you'd like, or maybe you're not where you thought you would be at this point in your life. But just because your life doesn't conform to some preconceived notion of perfection, that doesn't mean it's not ideal for you. You are exactly where you need to be in your life right now. And whether you're aware of them or not, there are opportunities around you all the time to learn and grow and get more of what you really want in your life. All you have to do is open yourself to receive them. And today I'd like to give you five powerful tips on how to do just that. By aiming for happiness instead of perfection. Now, my first tip is to get clear on what you really, really want, not what you think you should want. What are the things that truly make you happy? Is it really the big house, the fancy car, or the high pressure career that has you working overtime every week? Or is it the time you spend with your family, the joy you feel when you're out in nature? Or the time you spend working one on one with others to help them improve their lives? Now, whatever it is that gives you joy is a powerful sign showing you what you need to have more of in your life in order to be truly happy and fulfilled. So get clear on what experiences give you joy and look for ways to add more of that into your personal and professional life. And I promise you, you'll be a lot happier. Now, when I was recently in Atlanta for the super bowl weekend, I met a young man who told me that right out of college he landed a very lucrative career on Wall Street. But he wasn't happy. He was making a salary plus bonuses of as much as a million dollars a year. This guy was young, but he still wasn't feeling happy or fulfilled. He said his boss was exactly like the lead character in the movie the Wolf of Wall Street. He went on to say that after he watched our breakthrough to success, online training, he decided to follow his heart and quit Wall street, which included forfeiting major bonus money he was owed and started a career as a life coach focusing on professional athletes. He told me he's so much happier, more fulfilled, and still makes a very good living. And that leads into my next tip for you, which is to stop caring about what other people want you to do with your life and focus on what you want to do. Because no one else can see inside your heart and and know what truly fulfills you and makes you happy. You should always live your life according to your own dreams and aspirations, not someone else's. Not your parents, not your partner, and not your friends. You are the one that gets to decide what's perfect for you. Your main job in life is to please yourself, not to please others. Now my next tip for you is to have reasonable expectations for yourself. So much of the disappointment we experience in life has to do with us not living up to our own expectations. But sometimes the expectations we have are impossibly high and set us up for failure before we Even get started. For example, let's say you want to quit your job and start your own business. So to motivate yourself, you set the goal of making $100,000 in your first year. But you've never worked in an industry before, you've never owned your own business, and you don't know the first thing about marketing. Well, that means you have a huge learning curve ahead of you and it's going to take you time to acquire the skills and the expertise you need to grow a thriving business. So the chances of you being able to learn all those things and make $100,000 in less than 12 months are probably pretty slim. But that's not to say that starting your own six figure business isn't 100% achievable. For you it is. And if that's your dream, you should absolutely go for it. But just understand that there's usually more to learn than you first imagined and it's probably going to take you a little bit longer than you think to get your business up and running and build your customer or your client base. Now my next tip for you is to recognize that failure is a part of life. Failure is how you grow by taking risks and making mistakes and learning from them. So never let your mistakes impact your moment to moment happiness. You know, I see so many people living in guilt induced misery because of the things they've done in the past. Or people who refuse to take action to improve their life because they're so paralyzed by the fear of failure that they simply don't want to risk it. But your happiness and self worth shouldn't be based on whether you do everything right the first time. It's not about whether you get it perfect. It's about what you learn and who you become in the process that matters the most. Now finally, my last tip is to adopt a happiness centered mindset. What I mean by that is to focus on what makes you happy and you will attract more of it into your life. One easy way to do that is with a regular gratitude practice. So make sure to take a few moments every day to appreciate everything you have to be grateful for in your life. Now you can either write it down as a list or you can say it out loud. Sometimes I just walk through my home or office and simply say all the things I'm looking at as I walk through. I appreciate my computer. I appreciate my television. I appreciate the carpeting. I appreciate that I have filtered running water. I appreciate my shower. I appreciate my wife. I appreciate my dog, Joe. I appreciate the food in the refrigerator. I appreciate the people who grew it, who harvested and delivered it to the grocery store, and so on. This practice will cultivate a deeper joy and appreciation within yourself right away. And it will keep you motivated and on track as you work to make your dream life, not your perfect life, a reality. You know, one of the richest men in Japan claimed his success was due to silently repeating the word arigato, which is Japanese for thank you all day long, every day. This guy was a billionaire. Arigato. Thank you. What if you just said thank you? Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything in your life? Thank you. That level of appreciation and gratitude will take you to a whole new level, because appreciation and gratitude is one of the most powerful mindsets you can cultivate to create more happiness and more joy in your life. So now I have a question for you. Is there anywhere in your life where you've been more focused on being perfect than being happy? And what steps can you take to change that and shift your efforts toward cultivating greater joy and fulfillment in your life? I'd love to hear your answer to that question. Just put it below. I'd love to read it. And other people would love to read it as well. So thank you for watching. Or as they say in Japan, arigato. And remember, nothing will change for the better until you do. Now, if you found this video helpful, make sure you like it, share it with a friend who may need it, and subscribe to my channel. For more videos like this one, and for some additional resources on happiness and positive self talk, visit my website at jackcampfield. Com. Thanks again for watching.