Ep. 110-Beate Chelette is The Future Of Leadership

This is the You Winning Life podcast, your number one source for mastering a positive existence. Each episode we'll be interviewing exceptional people, giving you empowering insights, and guiding you to extraordinary outcomes. Learn from specialists in the worlds of integrative and natural wellness, spirituality, psychology, and entrepreneurship so you too can be winning life. Now here's your host, licensed LMFT 🎗️, marriage and family therapist, certified neuro-emotional technique practitioner, and certified entrepreneur coach Jason Wasser.

Hey everybody, it has been a number of weeks since a new episode was recorded. And I wanted to make sure that the person I was spending some time with, that you are going to spend some time with, is going to give you some really good information, some excitement, some passion. All the things that you've been hearing me talk about with my guests and hearing me talk about specifically around fulfillment, around passion and purpose. We have an author, business owner, business developer, consultant, coach. She is the growth architect and founder of The Women's Code and provides strategies, blueprints, and results to help people unify teams, give you clear steps to improve your business, strengthen your leadership skills. We're gonna get into all the other stuff of her bio. In fact, I'm going to have her share more about it because it's going to be so cool to hear. But Piață Căuleț is all the way from— where you wanted to announce where you're calling in from and hanging out with us from?

I'm calling in from Los Angeles, which I lovingly call the city of misfits. If you don't fit anywhere else, you come here and magically you fit in.

Exactly, exactly. Welcome. I know that we actually met on online, Instagram. And I, a mutual host had you and I saw that because they were a guest on my podcast and I reached out to you after hearing the interview and I'm like, I absolutely want to talk to you and spend some time with you. So I'm honored to have you here today. So I know as I just shared like your awesome bio, there's so many little cool things that I did not share, but I want to give you the opportunity to share it with everybody here. You know, the excitement of what's gone on in your life. And if you wanna start off with where you're coming from and those little cool, little awesome cliffhangers that we're leaving, 'cause I'm, it's pretty cool. And I usually will throw some stuff in that introductory bio, but I want, I want, I want it to come from you so people can kind of, all right, all right, hear it.

Very good. Well, we'll, we'll keep a couple cliffhangers then. So my name is Beate Scholette. I am known as the Growth Architect and I'm originally from Germany, so most of you will hear still a little bit of an accent, or maybe it's a big accent and I just don't hear it anymore.

Sounds like a Los Angeles accent.

Well, I, you know, I've been here for so long, I think I qualify as a California blonde now. And my passion is really around devising strategies to help visionaries and leaders to make an impact. And for me, this goes in a variety of different categories. So on whether you are an entrepreneur, who is kind of stuck at the half million to million and you just can't get over it, on whether you're just starting out as an entrepreneur and you can't figure out what makes you unique, on whether you are working in an organization as a leader in some capacity and you want to be a better leader, you want to advance more, you're not quite sure how to talk about yourself. Because for me, I have this idea, Jason, about denitchezizing. And yeah, so Jason Wasser makes a puzzled face.

I make a very puzzled face because the whole thing is the more you niche, the more clear who you're attracting will be. So you're saying the opposite.

But wait, not so fast. Ah. So I believe that what's happening and what is compounded right now with hybrid teams and the new way we work is there were already silos before everyone. And now that people are in their own bubble, in their own homes, in their own world, the silos are even bigger. So now if you have experts in niches, they're talking to other experts in niches, whoever is going to see the big picture anymore and devise an overall strategy. So I actually took that last year and changed my business model around to say, well, if you all want to go and work in your silos, I'm gonna do, as always, the opposite of everything. I'm gonna go and say, let me help you to take the 30,000-foot view. So I compare this like sometimes when you fly into an interesting area, there's lots of big and, there's a couple big and some small airports. So why don't we just fly over the territory and assess the terrain and then decide where we're gonna land first? And so that's kind of the approach of the denaturalizing.

So strategic thinking in a different way, because I know, and again, like I said before, like, this is the thing, right? The cleaner you get, the more niche down, and then even within that really does help a lot of people, especially like in the wellness world, right? I'm coming from that perspective. And I'm a licensed therapist. But then people think like, oh, mental health. And yes, in the generic category, because all these terms you have to ask, What does that mean to that person, to the provider who's offering the service, to the client, all those things. So like when you use the word entrepreneur, there are so many different definitions of that. So I would wanna start there and then let's either niche down and niche up, you know, from this conversation. What is your personal definition of an entrepreneur?

Yeah. So my personal definition of an entrepreneur is somebody who really is in business for themselves, who has a unique idea, who is putting this idea out in the world, finds clients, and then sells lots of stuff. And then with a proper growth strategy and good alignment of all the different categories that a business needs to be aligned with to grow it, then grows, builds, and scales the business to ultimately hopefully selling it and cashing in, and then maybe having Mai Tais on beaches with umbrellas in Jason Wasser.

Sounds awesome. So a few facts that you just shared, I want to break down because I find when I'm working with my entrepreneurial clients, that a lot of times they'll create these side hustles, they'll create maybe a business, they'll, they'll do their day job, they'll be entrepreneurial on the side. But I always ask them the question, how do you know it's a hobby versus a business? How do you know that you're not just creating a self-employed scenario versus creating a business. And one of the other things that you said, which I want people to clearly hear, is that there should be a goal, whether or not you choose to do that, but there should be a goal of selling it.

Yes. And the reason— let's start with the reverse engineering. Let's start with the end goal. So let's say we're selling our business. The reason that matters is because the way you set up your business, is completely different when you set it up for sale. So a lot of people don't want to pay taxes, they don't want to, you know, they're cooking their books in a little, you know, in whatever small ways. Well, when you want to sell your business, you can't do that because transparency in a transaction is everything, and that can cost you the transaction ultimately. So when you are wanting to set up a business for sale, then you have to follow that. So the difference, to answer your question, what's the difference between running a business and a hobby? It's very simple. Are you making money? Because if you're not making any money, then it's a hobby. And if you— if it's costing you to do it, it's a charity. So a business is when you are making money at some point, right? Somewhere between, let's say, if you're lucky, you start making money right away. If You are, on average, it takes you a couple months to put it all together, to put yourself out there, to find clients, and to start selling. A hobby is if you are making a little bit of money, but you're not really doing it to replace your permanent job. You're doing it because you love it. And the third piece is it's a charity when it actually costs you more to do it than you're bringing in.

And that might be because you're passionate about it on all 3 levels for any one of those options.

Yes.

But I do see this consistently. Often I'll have that conversation with clients like, oh, I'm thinking about starting this thing. I'm like, okay, what are the numbers? That sounds great. And then we'll, I'll force them to put to, to like, again, like reverse engineer what's gonna be your marketing costs, what's gonna be your labor costs, what's gonna be your time costs. And I always go back to the hour per, you know, like, what are you making now? And what— how much more per hour is this going to make you at how much more effort? And I remember one of my clients last year came up with this amazing idea. I'm like, that's incredible. It sounds like it's so much fun. It sounds like you'll enjoy it so much. That's the most amazing sounding hobby I think you can do. And her face just like— and I felt so bad. I've been working with this client for a while. So I have permission to be a little bit more blunt with them. And what do you mean? I'm like, Where's your profit margin? How many hours of time is this going to take you? Who else is your competition in this local area in South Florida on that? Like, no, it's gonna be great. Do the numbers. Come up with a spreadsheet. Show me all these things, right? And most business people don't ever do this. Like, I want to do this and I'm going to business and they don't reverse engineer it. And I'm not a math person. I barely graduated high school. That's why I joke like I became a therapist and not an accountant, especially. So, right, but, but I didn't learn this stuff until the last couple years where it was like, I'm a therapist. And I actually ran away from seeing myself as an entrepreneur until I got forced positively to be put into an environment that taught me that I was. And then once my client and I figured that out, and we sat down with this, and she brought the paperwork, you know, this idea, and with all the numbers, and she's like, oh, there's no, there's no profit margin. I guess it's something I just want to do for fun for my girlfriends for their birthday.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that.

If you have the realization and it fulfills you and you're passionate about it, we have no problem with that. But I think the point here is that don't talk yourself into believing something that's not a reality. And you kind of need the data to tell you what's real.

Right. And I know again, personally, like I ran away from that because it was a fear of numbers, a fear of whatever. And I know that the data doesn't lie. And I know a lot of people's personality predispositions will be to not look at that. What's your market segment? Who is your major competition? Who's not your major competition? How many other people— are you doing keyword searches? Are you doing ad— right? All of the different things from all of those different perspectives that most people won't look at. Like, I'm in South Florida, and there's, I don't know how many graduate schools in the area in the mental health field. And someone reached out to me, I'm thinking about moving to South Florida to become— I'm a therapist in New Jersey. What's the, what's the industry like there? What do you, what are you specialized in? What are you, what's your, what's your marketing budget? Usually they have no marketing budget. They have no idea of like, like, you know, that niche or idea. They're just like, I just want to move here and I hope I'll make some money. So I really want to have people who are listening, especially to today's episode, as we're gonna get more into your story and how you evolved going through this from the struggle point to the entrepreneurial point. Although there is struggles being an entrepreneur, that when we look at solutions, when we look at reverse engineering the process, it's going to take away a lot of the pain points.

Always, yes. I, you know, and that, that, that to me is the, the essence of, of life basically is I always ask myself, what's my objective? Why am I here? What am I, what am I trying to achieve? Every meeting I make, every, every strategy session, every work with my client, every plan I map out, the question is always, what do you want? What are we trying to achieve here? And so it puts the burden of clarity in the center of the decision-making. And so in mindset work, which I know Jason Wasser, you are huge on, in mindset work, sometimes you don't have the clarity, of what it is that you want, but you're pretty clear about what you don't want.

Yeah.

Well, that's a start. For sure. Because by elimination or the opposite, you can construct a scenario that gets much closer to where you wanna be.

But if we keep getting stuck, and I know that's gonna lead us into our solutions conversation, which is when clients come in, I don't want this, I don't want this to happen, I got screwed by an old partner, right? Business partner or romantic partner, whatever it is, right? And they keep telling you what they don't want. And then I'll ask them, okay, so what do you want? But I want you to tell me what you want the outcome to be without using the negative version of those examples. Well, I don't want to be screwed over again. No, no, no, no, no.

Let me guess. Let me guess. A lot of people have a really big problem with it because they're so in the story of the negativity and they're not even aware of what's coming out of their mouth is just a complete vomit of negativity.

Right, right. And it's a saturated story, as we would say. And our brain is 4 times as likely to focus on negative than it is to focus on positive because of our fight or flight survival instinct.

100%.

It's always looking out, but if that informs our narrative, if that informs our worldview, then it's gonna be very difficult to ask with certainty what we do want instead. So I use this metaphor of like going into the pizza place, for example, of going into the pizza place and they ask you what you want. They're like, well, I don't want mushrooms. I don't want olives. Okay, okay, but what do you want? I just told you I don't want mushrooms and I don't want olives on it. Okay, but what do you— that's how we go through life, a lot of people, and why they're so stuck is because they're ordering life that same way.

I love that. I'm going to totally steal that pizza analogy because that's going to drive the point home so quickly that, you know, I have a client who has issues with hiring and all he ever says is I don't want bad people. I don't want this, you know, people suck. They're so difficult to find. I'm like, well, if you keep telling yourself that, who's there to convince you of the opposite?

Exactly.

And so he keeps ordering a pizza with nothing on it.

Yeah. Or the pizza he doesn't want. And then he's like, I can't believe this showed up in front of me, but you ordered it.

Right, right.

I remember hearing Esther Hicks from the Law of Attraction world around the time of about 4 or 5 years ago, but around the election time. And she said, when it comes to dominant thought attraction, right, what you're putting your attention to does change your neurology, right? This is all— though, anybody out there who's thinking that like the law of attraction is like woo-woo LA hippie dippy?

Yes.

And yes.

And, and, and there is also a lot of, you know, that came out of functional neurology and how your brain patterning works and neuroplasticity and all those other things. But it's dominant focus, which marketing does, right? It hits the three brain theory, your rational brain, your limbic system, your fight or flight brain, right, to get you to want to have an impulse to buy something because you might be with or without something, you don't want to be left out. So the idea of like a bunch of years ago when she said, like, without putting any spin on it, she goes, you know, the people who voted for her, what do they end up talking about the most?

About, about the other person.

About not her. They talked about him. And so instead of putting more dominant attention into what they wanted, they put a lot more energy and intention and intensity into what they didn't want.

That's absolutely correct. And I think this is sort of a lot of times what we see in internet marketing and in mass manipulation. And we're seeing a lot of this right now.

Yeah.

And it is fueled by artificial intelligence that measures engagement, not truth. And so one of the things that I talk to my clients about is, because they always say, well, we want people to bring their full self in. And I say, no, you really don't. Because you don't know what narrative they're telling themselves. You don't know if they're an abuser, if they're rapists, if they're chain smokers, alcoholics, have an anger issue. You don't want anybody to bring themselves fully in. You want to define the narrative of what bringing yourself fully into your company or working together, what that really looks like, and whether that's a relationship, a business relationship, or even family is, I don't want to listen to your negative self-talk, period. So don't talk. If you want to tear yourself down, go somewhere else. Or like a great example that I always see, and, and, you know, this is not business related, but when people have issues with food and their weight, and so people try to help them by constantly commenting on how good they look when they lost these 5 pounds. All they do is reiterating the narrative they're already believing, that if they're thin, they're being loved more and they get more attention. So it's our discipline as people, individual and business owners, with our awareness to make sure that— I call this clean thinking, Jason Wasser. So, you know, we have a family member who struggles with food, and I said to everyone, you need to stop it. I said, we are not commenting on it. We are not noticing it. We are going to challenge the narrative of, look how good you look. How much weight have you lost? Because we keep reinforcing that if she gains a pound, she's gonna feel crappy again. She's gonna go right back in her loop. So in business, it's the same way. And in business, that self-talk about, what you can and cannot do. And it's interesting because you said something a moment ago where you said, um, where we calculate the hourly, right? So when we start, we need to determine value, but the business where really happens is in a quantum leap. And a quantum leap can only happen when something unexpected occurs. Because there's a sudden burst of energy that is inexplicable. But because nature has shown that a quantum leap is possible, we know quantum leaps are possible. If it's possible, there must be a way to do it. If it's possible to do it, it must be possible for you to do it. So then we go back to, in our entrepreneurial thinking and our idea passion, purpose, and say, wait, how can I, how can I make that happen for myself? And where does it start? It starts in your head.

Completely. Well, that's exponential growth. Yeah, that's the way I would define what you just said. And I wanted to wrap that around with this idea that I've been playing with since I really started owning my entrepreneurial mindset on top of what I'm already doing as a therapist. And on top of being a therapist, being, being trained in integrative mind-body and alternative medicine approaches is that I truly do believe this, that if done right, if done with the right support system, if done with the right coaching and the right accountability, that entrepreneurship can be one of the most profound personal development modalities that exists.

100%, because it forces you to challenge your old programming every step of the way. So I compare this, Jason Wasser, with that when we are born, we get a USB port plugged in on one side of our brain, and then the programming runs. That's our core programming, and it runs and runs and runs and runs. It's grandma and grandpa, and it's mom You know, you got to study, you got to work hard, nothing is for free, money doesn't grow on trees, life is hard work and then you die. And all this just unbelievable nonsense that we are fed with. Then you go out in the real world and you look at a Mark Cuban and you go, wow, billions. You look at Jeff Bezos who shipped the first packages out of his garage and now he's flying into space. And you go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's not what my parents told me. That looks completely different. So now you, you, you do the work and you do that by taking a different USB port and you're plugging it on, on the other side of your brain. And now this program, this new program is trying to override the old program. And now you're in a screaming match with two clashing programs that are incompatible with each other. And every time you want to take that new port out, the old port just goes right back and tells you you're worthless. You can't do it. It's difficult. It's hard. So the mindset piece about entrepreneurship, and I think what you are referring to, which I absolutely love, is all about the idea of if I am seeing one person who's done it, and that's a good cliffhanger to take you into my story. And I did it. And I did that quantum leap. I'm going to tell you exactly how, but wait, there's more. And, and, and really just design this in such a way that it can be a strategy for you to succeed. Then you go, wait, so everything they told me is a lie. Mm, yeah, kinda. But they told you this because they never plugged in a new USB port.

Correct. Correct.

They keep running on that old port.

Yeah.

So this is the ground zero. So let's just say today's ground zero. You're listening to this, you're here for a reason. I always say when people come in my sphere, they've been activated. And only people who are activated know what that even means. But that means you're here for a reason. So let's just say today's your ground day, ground zero day. You've been now activated. Now you've got that USB port, you're plugging it in. What's the program that's going to run now?

Right. If we look— and I— it's so like, while you're talking, it's such the same language that I share with my clients. And I was, I was jotting down some notes of kind of how to make this an equation. What you're describing I call default mode. It's intergenerational themes, right? Societal stuff, religious stuff, gender stuff, sexuality, right? All those, all the stuff. And then what you're saying on the other side of the coin is that new data. And what I'm finding when people get stuck, when it gets conflicted, it's what when those of us who grew up having to, uh, when we put the floppy disks in the computers in the '80s And we'd have to type out the— write on MS-DOS to get it to run. And we would hit run.exe and we wouldn't write the right string of code in, it would come up as a syntax error. That would be the code that would flash for those, right? Those of you remember that in the '80s, those of you who like are listening to this and you're like straight black screen, yellow blinking.

And then try to find that file again because you don't remember you call it ZX47 backslash hyphen something something. And you go, I mean, that was a whole other thing.

Whole other thing, right? Typing it all in, but that's the syntax error. And I think that when we are stressed, when, when we're emotionally taxed and we're, uh, we're, we're emotionally— and we're stressed by multiple things. And just give a shout out for the Stress documentary from the NET world that you guys have heard me talk about before and interviewed a lot of the other experts in that world. But, um, that syntax error shows up because we have emotional trauma, things that have happen to us that we're not processing cleanly, things that we're exposing ourselves to, not just other people but environmental toxins, food toxins, television toxins, bad, bad, uh, bad documentaries, bad whatever, right? Just stuff that we're like willing media manipulation, all of it, all that good stuff, right? Whatever we're— whatever, that's all toxins that's causing these syntax errors that are then conflicting the new data that's going to allow you to be healthier and going against this old default mode. And I think when you're talking about like moving into a new emotional reality that where like you use the word activation, right? You're getting like, aha, wait a second, that's different now. In other words, the Jason that you're talking to now, you never would have talked to 5 years ago, maybe as a therapist had we been, right? But as far as me being in this form of being a podcaster and and meeting and connecting people that I wouldn't even have any right to reach out to in the first place because of playing small back in the day. So I had to activate something different in that paradigm. And it's a slow progression. But when you see it over the handful of years, as everybody who's listening probably will get this, you'll look back and you're like, holy crap, I can't believe that's so different. Than what it used to be. But what I also think you're suggesting, and I definitely want your thought on this, is that you have to continuously plug more new data in over and over again, overwhelmingly more than letting those old programs just run by default.

You nailed it. Because that is when then somebody goes and they've done Landmark or they've done some sort of program, and then they go and they tell you, they said, I've done the work. Oh no, honey, you haven't. You just got started. You're just getting started. Because once you go down that road of clarity and awareness, that is when you realize on how little you know. And you get more and more awareness. And I was working with a client yesterday who has for a couple years really told himself all kinds of things of not being worthy and A brilliant mind, you know, done incredibly creative projects, completely forgotten how to feel confident and then went basically into hiding. Subsequently, his finances are not very good. And so yesterday we were talking about, you know, as we putting this new language in place about what is good about him. So one of the exercises I do when I first start working with a client who has confidence issues, I make him or her talk to all their people in their address book, like literally everyone. And I make them ask, how do you perceive me? And then we write that down. And so as we're sitting here yesterday and I said, well, you need to get, you know, you need to make phone calls, you need to rebuild your network. And I could see he had a physical reaction, like a, physical reaction. He started getting really tired. He started twitching. I mean, you know, it definitely— the core wound just started to pop open. And he says, "Yeah, yeah." And he started to make excuses. So I take this piece of paper and I said, "What you experiencing is not true. What you experiencing is your old programming not wanting you to have this new information." I'm gonna tell you what's true. And I took the piece of paper and I said, people perceive you as a great guy, a great listener, a great communicator. And I took him through, and now he's having an emotional reaction. I said, this is what's true. The other story is not true. That's just what you— what your subconscious has created because your subconscious couldn't be happier than you sitting in a cave, safe, not venturing out, not talking to anyone, being completely by yourself because nothing can ever happen to you.

That's the gravitational pull to that for sure. For sure.

And so how do we get out of it? So we get out of it And the first step is always awareness. So you're here, you're listening to this. We already said this is ground zero. So you know, you're creating an awareness of sometimes it's anything but this. I don't know what your expression is, but I bet you have one. I always say that the pain of staying where you are has to be greater than your fear of change. Because if where you are isn't so uncomfortable and so painful or so financially stressful or so emotionally jarring, you will never change, right? If it's tolerable, you will not change. If it's intolerable, you will.

And what I'm finding collectively, and now as you and I are talking, it's now the end of July in 2021, Right. We're in the right year. Yes, we lost a year. It's 2021, right? Yeah. So one of my coaches, Rick, who I've— my— where I jumped into this entrepreneur space, he talks a lot about toleration tendencies, what we're willing to tolerate that we don't even realize we're tolerating. And then once we realize it, we're like, well, then we start telling justification stories. And I realized how stuck I was in a justification story when I first met him on the first day after a few years that my friend convinced me to go out to this conference, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not an entrepreneur. I'm not a business owner. I'm just a therapist who has a practice, right? Even the languaging that I carried at that time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it took him like 2 or 3 years for me to like to fly to Dallas to go to this conference. And by the end of the first afternoon, I like went over to Rick, who's the main speaker and the whatever. And I started asking him a question about you know, this is what I want to do. And he's like, he literally stopped me 3 times from just saying, give me a yes or no, stop giving me a story. And going back to that programming, going back to that emotional default, the justification. And all of us have these stories of what we're doing to protect ourselves from being typically perceived by something or somebody else in a certain way. That we have a longstanding story, whether it's ours or we inherit it, that we're trying to protect. And usually a lot of times those toleration tendencies are related to that. And there was something you said a few minutes ago about the work, right? Just getting it right. You don't— you just because you did a landmark or you just did a whatever self-development retreat or a 7-day silent meditation retreat doesn't mean you have it right. You're— you got to keep doing those type of things and all of those type of things, not just one of them. And there's no one size fits all. There's no one organization or group that has any And any of y'all out there listening, anybody who claims to have the right way of figuring it out, run from them.

Far. Actually, that is such a pet peeve of mine is that when I hear any kind of consultant or coach or somebody standing there and they say, that's very easy, just buy my program and everything else is magically falling into place. That is such bullshit. It's not even funny.

Yeah, there's no silver bullet.

There is no such book. The question is rather what resonates with you at this time? And is this your next step? And, you know, and for that reason in my business, I developed the Five Star Success Blueprint because that's exactly what I was up against. And that's why I'm, you know, why I came up with this idea of denature-sizing is because I felt that people oftentimes can't even figure out what the path is.. And so if you don't know where the path starts or you don't know what the next step is, or if you go, you know, camping, what should you even pack to go camping, right? What are the requirements to make it to the peak? You kind of got to go somewhere to somebody who can give you a packing list.

And there's a difference between doing a Mount Kilimanjaro or doing a SUV camping, where you're literally just pulling everything out of the back of your car.

100%. Car camping. And so, this is, I think, the piece that the awareness, the first level of awareness, where you have this epiphany, where you go, okay, I get it. This is the beginning of my journey. And then, you decide which of the pieces of that journey kind of fall into place. And so, I have a story for that. So, when I When I started, I was a photographer and I come from Germany and creativity isn't really exactly like, people in Germany are not known necessarily for their creativity. They're more known for processes, strategies, and systems. And so as I wanted to get into creativity, I was told not to. And then I did it anyway, only to find out I'm better at strategy, processes, and systems. One goes figures, which is why I can relate to I know you're laughing. It's kind of funny.

But also reminds me of a Dave Chappelle joke. You know, the comedian, right? Dave Chappelle.

Yes, I do.

I remember hearing the album. I was probably 21 when I heard his first album, his live album on CD. And yeah, that's almost as good as MS-DOS. But he exactly— that whole predisposition thing that we all have to figure out, like, hey, what we're either really good at, predisposed to, or what our programming is holding us back that we think we're predisposed to that we can't get out of. But one of the jokes was he was after a show and he was at a diner and he was looking at the menu and the waitress comes over to him and goes, "Do you know what you want?" And he's like, "I really don't know." And she looks at him and she goes, "Well, how about some fried chicken?" And he's like, "Oh my God, that is racist." And he's sitting there thinking and he's like, "You know what? I am in the mood for fried chicken. How did she know? I'm genetically predisposed to liking fried chicken." And when he was telling that joke, I'm like, Well, my Eastern European Jewish background, if someone put like, Jason, do you want some stuffed cabbage?

And a sausage.

Right.

And a sausage. Right.

For you, right? Would anybody write a sausage in German, right? Or whatever it is. Or right. If it's like, are you in the mood for some matzo ball soup? Yeah, I actually am. How did you know that? Right. So we all have these. So that's like when you were saying that story, that's the giggle one. Because I know German engineering is precision and analytical and right. It's not, but also that Dave Chappelle joke, who in his brilliance—

It is absolutely in his brilliance. And that brings us back to what we were talking about, you know, passion and purpose. So sometimes I think there's a lot of struggle around that question on, do I have to be passionate about what I do all the time? Or Do I need to have purpose in my life, or can I just make a boatload of money and not be passionate about what I do?

Well, when you were a photographer and you got started in that, you were, you were here, you were there. Where were you living at that time?

I was in Germany.

Yeah.

In Germany.

And then, and because I was better at the business, I, uh, went pretty quickly into the magazine world. So I was photo editor at Elle magazine in Germany. And then I realized that, you know, now I'm 23, I'm running the photo department at Elle Magazine, and I'm going like, well, that's kind of like at the top of the totem pole. Like, what else is there? And so I decided that I was gonna do something adventurous and immigrated to the United States. But I really was only going for the year abroad that just hasn't ended, you know, decades later. And so I go to a houseboat in Key West So Elle magazine, you know, biggest photographers, fashion, you know, biggest designers in the world, houseboat in Key West, no water, no electricity.

Oh gosh.

Yes. Dealing with your own is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty sobering. Let's put it that way.

But that's not even during a hurricane where everybody's evacuating Key West. This is on a good day.

This is on a good day by choice.

Right.

By choice.

And American dream.

American dream. Well, because I wanted to get off that, that trip. And so what happened is that my dad got fired as a CEO of a dairy company. And I realized that my father took all his self-esteem out of the work he did. All of it. And so when that was taken away from him, that was very challenging for him because, you know, he didn't have a good relationship with my mom. They were separated at the time and he was always working. And so I realized that if I was going to continue, I was going to go down the exact same road because when you're a photo editor at Elle magazine, everybody will do anything for you.

Right, right.

Anything.

So this was like a Devil Wears Prada type of scenario.

100%. Yeah, 100%. 100%.

And I do like that movie. I'm gonna admit that. Back in the day when it used to be on like USA, I'm like, oh, it's not—

I mean, don't you wish you could?

It's so weird as a straight guy.

That intense look that just says it all.

It's just something entertaining about that movie. I don't know. It's a random fact about Jason, y'all.

Yeah, why wouldn't you? I mean, it's a I give you a spin on this. So you have to know what people are watching because you as a therapist always have to be in the loop what the current culture is right now or what really goes on. So I always say that we have to, as consultants, coaches, strategists, have to be tied into with what's going on in the world because you know what's popular. The zeitgeist of everything. Yeah, the zeitgeist. Yeah, what that's going on.

Which I think is a German word if I'm not mistaken.

Zeitgeist, yes. It means the spirit of time.

Uh-huh. Which sounds very powerfully profound versus you got to know what's going on in social media.

I like that.

I like that because it's a profound word.

If people— the first magazine I worked as was a magazine for Zeitgeist, and then that word kind of became not Zeitgeist anymore, and then we didn't use it anymore. But that was a long time ago, so we can say it's a lost word.

It's a lost word.

Yeah, for sure.

There's another word I'm going to offer. One of my old professors— I know it's total tangent, but You're bringing up some good stuff. Um, that's like just jarring my positive memories. I have a, uh, Dr. Paul Gallant. I remember him using— he's a narrative therapist, marriage and family therapist trained in the modality of narrative therapy. And I remember once he was talking about the word tenderness, and we don't use that word, especially in relationships, even more so in the business world, right? It's like, you know, hold me tender, right? Love me tender, back in the day, right? But no one talks about tenderness anymore. No one is tender to each other. I mean, this is what we're seeing in today's society. We're not being tender. It's not even gentle. Tender is like with intentionality of, it might be rough, but we're gonna soften and cushion the blow for each other.

Oh, 100%. I just want to stand on my soapbox all day and tell everybody to calm the fuck down. I mean, you know, some of this stuff, I mean, you know, I watched this thing just blow up because somebody honked at someone and that becomes like a whole—

a whole chain reaction.

Yeah, chain reaction, cancel culture. I watch the political manipulation right now and it's all based on the same principles of attention grabbing. I watched the messaging and, well, you know, we didn't say that before, but now we're going to say that we said that, even though we know you didn't say that. But We're gonna just say that we said that because it's better to say it now than we were saying it before. And what happens without the awareness of what you allow your brain to receive? Yeah. How can the result be anything other than what we're seeing right now? Because this is the unaware mass that is so conflicted with the messaging that's coming from two sides that is so precise in achieving this confusion that they are achieving the, it is either you or it's me. There is no, let's get together. I mean, it's completely wiped out.

Well, it's the us versus them mentality that creates the chaos versus the we mentality, which on 4Right, it's we the people. But this has happened in civilizations everywhere, unfortunately, and in cycles. And the way I look at it is we're 200-something years old here. This is like, I'm likening this to a very awkward, pimply, smelly puberty stage of this democracy.

Oh, I like it. It's like an acne outbreak.

This is a bad food, best food, junk food for years.

Yes.

Prepubescent, pubescent, awkward, no filter, slimy, scaly, smelly, not showering for 2 weeks. I know everything, you know nothing.

I have that picture so clearly in my head right now.

That's what I built. That is my true belief of what our democracy in America is going through right now. It's an awkward, disgusting puberty.

And it's not a growing pain. No.

Well, it's painful. It's painful for everybody on both sides. On both sides, it's painful for everybody. It's because, because people are suffering. And, and, you know, one will say, I'm suffering more than you, and you're making me suffer. And which goes back to the victim mentality, which we can, you know, tie everything in. Because I know, like, this is the segue, like, continuing for your journey. Because this is like, these are some of the cliffhangers that I want people to— because you've been— we've been targeting some really good stuff, but I want people to know why you're a person who why they should be listening to what you and I are saying, but specifically why you're here. Right?

Yeah. And to answer that in the simplest of all ways is I'm an 8-time disaster survivor. And the disasters are not little disasters. There are fires, floods, riots, earthquake, September 11th lawsuit, a tsunami where I lost a key vendor who vanished and never to be found. Little did I know that was going to add a pandemic to all of it. So when the pandemic came, my reaction to this was just like, eh, you know, just another thing you have to deal with and overcome. So I think that in my story, you know, and to just highlight some of the things that I think that the audience, your listeners really will resonate with, you know, there was a point where I had made decisions that part of it were mine, part of it were, you know, because of these disasters where I'm finding myself $135,000 in debt. And I had, you know, was in this lawsuit because my key vendor got too close to my key employee and then they set up their own business, which was my business just without me. And invoices were paid to them. So I lost about half a million dollars in this incident. So I sued them because, you know, being German, I had to be right and I was wrong. And so I'm in this expensive, expensive lawsuit. And then I think I'm coming out of it and I have production business on the books worth about half a million. Wrangler, Levi's, Mercedes-Benz, BMW, everybody flying to America, to Los Angeles for me to produce their photo shoots. And then September 11th comes and nobody goes on a plane. Not one person. Within 24 hours it's over. And so I'm in this spiral and I have to, you know, the lawsuit settles, it comes out with zero. I paid my debt, I paid my attorney and I had nothing. I mean, I had nothing a year before when I started. I could have just saved myself that year of fight and I would have been in the same scenario. So I'm going again into debt and now I'm back $135,000 in debt. And then I fly to Germany to drum up some business. My father has a stroke. My father didn't have a stroke. My father had pancreatic cancer. And within 6 weeks, my father dies. And so I'm in Nether Bavaria, in this picturesque town where they have the geranium of all balconies. And we just buried him and my phone rings and it's my office in Los Angeles telling me that I've been served a notice. And so now I'm losing the house, which I didn't own, but I rented. But, you know, the guy waited until I was in Germany at my dad's funeral to serve a notice. That's just the kind of person he was. And so there is this defining moment where we oftentimes talk about defining moments, you know, the darkest moment. That was my darkest moment. So I fell on my knees and I raised my hand against God and I yelled at him for 2 minutes. And I said, you know, If you have a plan, this would be a really good time to fill me in right now because I have done everything by the book, worked my butt off. I'm a single mom and an immigrant. Nobody's given me anything. Nobody's helped me. I've been fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, you know. And at that point, you surrender because there really isn't anything else you can do. And what happens, and this is sort of this crazy turn of the story that people go, you did what? I had written a letter to the President of the United States. Why not?

Why not?

Why not? I only did it because my former mother-in-law wouldn't shut up about it. I mean, she'd just say, you gotta write the president, he's your president, the president, the president, the president. And she would not stop. And finally I wrote a letter to the president so just that she would stop talking about it.

And who was in office at the time?

George W. Bush.

Okay.

So I get a letter from the White House, Jason Wasser, and in the letter it says, the president sends you his best wishes. Of course, the president never saw this letter, right? But that letter was sent to the Small Business Administration here in Los Angeles, and it goes to the deputy chief director because it's coming from the White House. Not some loan officer, the second in command. And so I walk in with my business plan. I had done all the work. I written that 60-page business plan on weekends and nights. And I walk in and he looks at me and he says, I'll put in what you put in. And for the first time I have hope. 3 months later, they found me a bank that restructured my $135,000 into a 10-year fixed fixed loan. That freed up my line of credit. That got me to break even 3 months later. So the difference between, the difference between complete failure and success was 3 months. This is how close it was. 18 months later, I'm the world leader in my category. And I'm selling into 79 countries in the world. Now the Bill Gates Company comes knocking on my door and says, can you tell us how you did it? And I said, I said, like any decent woman, you want what I have, you pay for it. And then they said, well, how much do you want? And I said, millions. And they said, okay. And so I got to sell my company for millions of dollars to Bill Gates, making me a self-made multimillionaire 18 months after the worst day of my life.

Amazing, amazing. Those of you who can't see me, I am grinning ear to ear. Like, I'm just so— number one, like, the, the— my feelings of the suffering that you've been through, I'm sorry. The success that you've had, may it keep coming. This is right. And, and as you and I know, what's next? What's the— right, if this can happen What then can happen next?

And that, I appreciate that because that you intuitively picked up on that because that's the decision row, right? So now a lot of times, and we talked about this when we started our podcast, is that you have this goal to sell your business so you don't ever have to work again. And then when that happens, all this stuff of proving yourself right and proving that you had what it takes suddenly falls away. And now the question is a completely different question. And I know that you do that in the way you work where you say, well, now when this is all resolved, what is the real story? And so the real story emerges. And the real story is that this was the prelude of what I'm really here to do. This just allowed me the freedom to not have to worry about money again. But my real purpose is to change the way we look at leadership because I want to bring the balance to leadership and yank it away from the perception of male leadership winning persuasion strategy and take the more female-centric, softer leadership skills— empathy, collaboration, community— which a lot of women, not all women, have innately. And many men have that, but they can't lead by that because it's not okay to lead by that.

Masculine energy versus feminine energy.

Yeah.

And one, one word I want to offer as well to really synthesize that is intuition.

Yeah, because this is exactly what the outcome is. I want leaders to understand that leadership represents like an infinity sign, where you as a leader, especially now what we've seen in these catastrophes and disasters, and I've been through many of them, this is the pattern. When you're in a disaster, you need to soften because you need to worry about the people. When you're in a fast growth, you need to focus on the numbers and the logic and the strategy. But if you forget the people, you get back into a disaster. And then the loop repeats. And then you have to take care of the people until you're taking care of the people and then the growth. And so you keep going back and forth. So every leader really needs to understand that. And that is my mission today to say, how do I, how do I help people to run their businesses so that they're really in this balanced mindset of hard charging but unifying and balancing, not just for their teams but also within themselves and how hard that is. And how do I take men and tell them that they don't have to all lead by these concepts that really don't work for them. Yeah, how do we bring that together? So that's what I'm here to solve.

I love it. And now this business that you are running now, the book that just came out specifically, Happy Woman, Happy World, a foolproof— a foolproof fix that takes you from overwhelmed to awesome in all aspects of life. And I, and I, and I discuss this a lot with my female, female clients of like Like you said before about your dad, you know, when he left and retired, he had— his identity was so wrapped up with that. And I have this conversation with my female clients outside of your, you know, and I asked about what their desires are, what roles that they play. And a lot of times, right, the first ones that come up is, you know, if they're, you know, many of them are married, well, it's wife and mother. I'm like, okay. And in addition to that, not diminishing it, how did those be— right now, ask, how do those become the most important? Important? Who's right? Your, your, your, your buy-in, family's buy-in, whose intensity on it, who made that become number one for you? Did you, did you willingly agree to that? And what else do you want to be on there? As opposed to, I have to pick and choose or give up or sacrifice or anything like that. But I see it a lot with women, and, and those that use, like, the self-aware men are coming more into that.

100%, but especially right now because Our opportunity, Jason Wasser, right now is incredible because our opportunity now shows that men know what it feels like to have a family. Men know what it feels like to help a child with homework on a much larger scale, you know, being around them 24/7, tucking them in at night, feeling their fears. And women are seeing what men have sacrificed when they didn't have the opportunity to do that because they are having to now just hustle, hustle, hustle to do the job and the full-time and what difficulties we had. So I think we are at a very unique moment and this is what I'm working on with this new idea called the New Business Code to say, how do we maximize this moment in time? And say, what have we learned that we're going to be putting into action? Because if we don't learn from this, we're going to repeat the pattern again. So why don't we take this opportunity and instead of defending that our way is good when we know our way is not working. And in my consulting, when I work with teams and organizations and help them to solve issues like engagement, low retention, punitive cultures, negativity, or conflict, I always, I always remind them, it's like, are you even having this conversation with each other? And if the conversation that you have with each other is contradictory to your belief system, why don't you ask Where are you coming from? Explain it to me instead of saying you are wrong. And this is— and I don't know what the bigger idea was in this political climate to, to see that, but it just shows you when that, when that seed of I'm better than you are and it's not my fault, how much our programming, our original programming latches on to that. And if you do not have the awareness, this is what happens. And that often then results in war until people are completely worn down and they have nothing left to give and they surrender, like I had to surrender, and then let God, Universe, Spirit kind of take care of things and bring—

sort it out.

Yeah, and sort it out.

Because sometimes very unpleasant ways to us, very unpleasant.

Ways to us.

Yeah.

So what are we learning?

Yeah, yeah. But this is, this is— it's funny that when I was saying to you before that I do believe that entrepreneurship can be an insanely ridiculous personal development platform, that it's not shocking how much in the thought leader world, the mindset world, are actually majority entrepreneurial people. Why? Right. Why the podcast community? Why the social media community? They're not majority people who are mental health professionals. There are some of us who are, but majority are because they're doing something right there. And they've realized how to get out of the imbalance, more into balance, to reprioritize, refocus.

It was great.

I was making $400 million a year, but I was a miserable person or blah, blah, blah, right? And all my marriages failed, and I was this, and I was overweight, and I was an alcoholic. And right, and I see how, you know, it does come back to, um, simplicity on the far side of complexity, which is this Oliver Wendell Holmes quote, you know, of, I wouldn't, I wouldn't give a fig for, for complexity on this side of simplicity, but I give my entire life for simplicity on the far side of complexity. Simplicity. So I think what you and I— of the many things that you and I share in common is that we're trying to find the simplest way to get there, the least chaotic, and then constantly asking that question: is there a— is there an even more simple way?

And you make— this isn't the most important point, you know. So if, if, if you're listening and if you don't take anything away but that, that is the— that really is the core of everything. Is it's really not that complicated. It's simple. It's just that you telling yourself that it is complicated is what creates the complication. So, you know, as an example with my client where we were working yesterday and I'm feeling this resistance coming up and he goes, yeah, I gotta figure out where that's coming from. And I'm going like, no, you don't. Because it's irrelevant. Yeah, because we put that marker in the ground. You put the mark in the ground when you gave me the check. That's when you decided that was your ground zero. You will not go back. I said prohibit you from going back. You don't even get to think about this anymore because it doesn't matter. I don't care why or where it's coming from or who said what. What matters is what are you telling yourself now? What are you encountering now? What is the resistance now? And how are you going to overcome that? Not where it's coming from, but how am I going to overcome that? And so that is in the work, you know, and how I do my business consulting and how I put business models and business plans and growth strategies and alignment strategies together. That's really where I look at and say, you know, very much like you, where do you want to go? And what do we need to do to get there? And then when these excuses come up, it's like, yeah, Daddy didn't love me, and Mom worked nights, and I come from, you know, a difficult childhood. I said, well, welcome to the club. Welcome to the club.

Oh, so you're human too?

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah. And I have another story on that, you know, just to show you on how powerful these releases of these stories are. So I have a very difficult relationship with my mother, you know, one that almost drove me to suicide when I was a child. And I've been having a lot of really bad migraines for probably about, you know, now 15 years. And there was a day about 2 months ago where I finally sat down. I said, okay, I gotta let this shit go. Go. I'm sorry. I cannot talk about it anymore. I don't want to know on whether or not she was abused or not. I don't care on whether or not her mother loved her. I don't care what her childhood was like. That's hers to resolve. That's not mine to resolve. That's hers to resolve. But I'm going to release that. The day later, I get an email from this migraine— it's called Migraine Today. And I get this email. He talks about magnesium. Now, I can't tolerate magnesium because of my stomach, but I finally read this article about magnesium, and it's a magnesium that's specifically formulated for the brain. Uh-huh. So I look up the research, and the research is off the charts, and it says this stuff is known to reduce migraines and improve your brain age by 9 years. I mean, it's crazy. So I get it. Within 30 days, my migraines are down by one— by two-thirds.

Right.

Why did I pick up on that day? Why did that solution come that day, even though that solution's been around for what, like 2 or 3 years?

You dropped the resistance around it being able to show up, and that's the magic of it. It's— I think to really niche it— I don't even want to say niche it down, but to really get to—

you are allowed to niche it.

Okay, okay. I don't want to be disappointed. I have a very good colleague of mine. She's an acupuncturist. Kate, if you're listening to this, I love you. And she's also from Germany. And like, you know, it's funny because she's so loving. And so, and then there's one time like we were putting stuff together at a pre-conference, we're helping get set up. And I didn't organize something in the way that I guess, you know, whatever she thought would have been more efficient with German efficiency. And she kind of, she She didn't realize she snapped at me, and I'm like, oh my God, what did I do wrong? And I know, like, and then like 5 minutes later she was like the most loving person again. I'm like, okay, it has nothing to do with me, this is just the thing, right? And, um, so I was like, I didn't want to make sure I didn't want to, you know, say the wrong thing. Oh, and I love Kate. So Kate, if you're listening, I love this story. Yeah, I love sharing that. Um, but the idea of underneath it all This simplicity. Underneath it all is we're carrying stories. Underneath it all is dropping all the resistance around why we can't, all the things that we think that we're justifying, that we realize we're justifying, or realize that we don't even know that we're telling that story consciously and unconsciously to get the help that we need, the help that we want. And we then will like, well, I want my relationships to get better. But then you'll come up with 14 variables that it needs to be. The therapist can only see me between 2 and 2:15. They have to be within these 2 miles. They have to be this exact price point. And they have to be— and they— but they can't talk about these 4 topics.

And I have to lose 20 pounds.

Right, which has nothing to do with what you're coming to the therapist. Right, right, right. And, and oh, and you can't do telehealth. Because, you know, I decided that everything is over and I have to decide what your safety is better, more important, my safety is more, you know, what I want is more important than the person's self-determination of their safety. And we create all of those stumbling blocks to our—

and that's where the path disappears. Yes, because the— in, in, I believe in this, in, in the, in the true spiritual world, you have only a— you have influence over two things. 2 things: where you are right now, where we're starting, that's on you, and where you want to go, the end goal, that's on you because you, you get to tell the story. How you get there, I got news for you, is not up to you because that path is never the way you think the path is going. But things are going to happen because the opportunities that are going to be presented once you make the decision to change unless you're open to recognizing them, like that email, like me taking that minute to read that, finally to read that email about this particular magnesium, which obviously I wasn't willing to listen to before. And I spoke to my doctor yesterday who said to me, "I have it in my notes. I told you about this a year ago." And it didn't process.

There was the filter there was too blocked.

Yeah, because back then I'm like, God, this guy always pushes supplements on me.

And I'm looking for my phone that has a graphic of all the different types of magnesiums for the different type of— so I'm like, I gotta figure out which one this is. And I'm just— was it magnesium chelate or whatever it is? Oh yeah, Neuromag. Okay, magnesium L-threonate, right? So from Life Extension. Yeah, there's— my phone just dropped. So right, there's so— right, there's 13 probably different types of magnesium.

Yeah, right. So, so that's the point, you know, that, that, that I want to make, is that when you live in within the laws of the universe, in your giving abundance principle, in your taking responsibility principle, in the awareness of that it just is, it's not good or bad, it just is. It is only good or bad if you give it meaning. And you allow this picture of this goal where you want to go to, to form. And it doesn't have to be a Mercedes with 4 doors and blue. I mean, if you want to be that specific, that's fine. But for me, the idea is I want to speak in a football stadium in front of 50,000 people about this. I have no idea I'm going to get there. I want to do the TED Talk, not a TEDx. I want to do a TED Talk on this. A new leadership model. And I have no idea I'm going to get there. And I was almost getting a TEDx talk, and then that fell apart, and that was really weird. And then COVID came, and they couldn't even facilitate. And I mean, you know, like, and eventually you just stop judging, and you say, okay, okay, okay, okay, back to the basics. What's my idea? What do I want? What, what is it that I want to achieve? And then you let go. You surrender, as we talked about, right? And whatever happens now happens. And I have to trust that that's the path. And the last time—

way for people to find you on that specific topic is, or that would most resonate, is a TED Talk versus, or in addition to, as many podcasts that you can get on to talk about that, putting your own YouTube video version TED Talk of it out. And put it out that way, with all the right hashtags, reverse engineer it. If I were to be giving a TED Talk, this is the TED Talk I would give, right? And whatever that example— and we all do this in our own unique way. And I love the phrase, not like, especially when people are trying to figure out like what their next job is, or what's the right field or career for me. I always still go back to that idea of like, well, tell me what your core values are. And then we'll find the 34 different things that align with that. And then your biggest dilemma is picking which one you want to do first. Because they'll all be in alignment with your mission and your purpose, because they're going to be all in alignment with your core values. So none of them will be wrong.

Right. And that's why you then come to me, a strategist, and I'll help you map that out so that you then know exactly what the proper cadence is, because it does go in a particular order. But you're absolutely right. Because you're going to be called then to ask yourself, which way am I going to go? And then that depends, you know, in that direction obviously depends on how much time, energy you want to put in. And that brings us back to our passion and purpose and the mission. What's most aligned? What's your priority? What's most important? And then that's what comes first.

Well, it reminds me of last night, just to, with a final story, is I was at an event last night and a friend came over to me and they're like, I just had this amazing I had an amazing interview today. It was a school counselor job. And I don't even know how they found me, but they tracked me down and I had an interview today. And I'm like, how did it go? They're like, went really well. And they go, they go, but I don't know if I'm going to get it. And my first question was, do you even want the job? Because they found you, you didn't reach out to it. Well, it's right next to Surfside, which is where the buildings collapsed. Last week, 2 weeks ago, 2 weeks ago already at this point, 3 weeks. And, um, there's a lot of people in the local Jewish community that were affected. And you know, it's gonna be people working from the school and in the neighborhood and stuff like that. And I'm like, well, do you want that to be your primary focus for the next year or 2 of your job? That's gonna be a dominant conversation. If you're gonna be the school counselor, are you okay with handling that? Are you trauma-focused? Are you this? Are you that? It sounds like an amazing job in general if this wasn't going on, but do you— are you okay with that being your dominant conversation? Their response to me was the following: Well, it is an hour and change drive every day for me to get there, so I would have to probably move even if I got the job. Right? So I see your brain processing and you're like, what does that have to do with the question I asked? But that's what we all do. They— we couldn't even answer, right? It wasn't that she wasn't trying to avoid the question. It's just like, it just couldn't process. But it was like, what's the lowest barrier, right? Well, it's a far— like, if I don't get the job, they don't offer you— well, it's still a far job, and I don't know if I want to drive an hour and change. And it's not simplicity. So fine. So do you want to drive an hour and change? So I changed the whole tactic. Do you want to drive an hour and change every day back and forth each way? To any job, and then it becomes more of a binary. Has nothing to do with this job.

Yeah, yeah. But that, but, but, but that is, I think, the challenge that most people are having, Jason, is that if I ask you, what do you want, can you even answer that? Right. And then if I ask you what you don't want, you're going to have a list of, what, 250 things, right? But if I ask you what it actually is that you want there's always this awkward silence. I ask all my clients, what is it that you want? And then they go like, well, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to, you know, very much like you. And then we, you know, as professionals, we dive into that. We say, well, what's the opposite of that then? Right?

Without using the words, I don't want. And a lot of times the other component of that is they'll lowball what they really want because of the fear of asking for the greater thing. And then, and, and I think tying this all together as we, we finish our time, before I, I want you to give a passionate plug of all the cool things that are going on and how they can track you down and get in touch with you, is using this platform for me has allowed me to take a massive quantum leap into asking people a big ask. And for them, it may not be a big ask But for me, the perspective originally that it was to have someone who is potentially more successful than me, more evolved, more down the— you know, versus like, there will hopefully be a beautiful, meaningful, mutual exchange of ideas, and it will also bring value to the person who's a guest. And once I shifted into that perspective, and it took me Howard Behar, from Starbucks, episode 50, I believe, or somewhere in that area, 45 or whatever. And, um, he was a former international president of Starbucks, but he's the one who helped it grow from X amount of stores to whatever under Howard Schultz. Um, and when they— within like 15 minutes, I got a— when I wrote an email, like random, like, hey, like, you know, and yes, I would absolutely love to be a guest. And I'm like, wait, what?

Because you just don't know. You just don't know what people are, you know. And when you reached out to me on Instagram, you know, I said yes right away because there's just something about the way you formulated it where I was like, yeah, sure, why not, you know. Because it's, you know, again, you know, but that's because a lot of us that are doing a lot of mindset work, we are in the giving. We live in the giving principle. We understand that that if we give without an expectation of a return, the universe will deliver because it cannot not do that. It has to because that's the way. More life is a core principle of this world. So, you know, and sometimes, you know, even podcast interviews, sometimes people are like, wow, you really give a lot of value. You shouldn't give so much away. I'm like, I'm not really worried about that. I want people that listening to this walk away and say, That was a great hour spent.

One of my clients a few weeks ago goes, I have to stop listening to your podcast. I'm like, okay. Like, I wasn't insulted by that. I was just like, had this big grin on my face. I'm like, all right, what's going on? I'm like, she's like, you're in my ear 24/7, even when I'm not listening to you.

And you go like, that's the point.

That's great. Because you're here once every couple, you know, every 2 weeks, and it costs you some nice money to come here. So aren't Aren't you glad that I'm in your ear, you know, 24/7 and you don't have to pay for that? This is coming out of my pocket for you, for you to get this. And they're like, oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. But I think I still need to take a break from your podcast. I'm like, I didn't even know you were listening to it. Well, thank you for listening to it. That means a lot to me. It means that what I'm doing is on the right path. And I'm really like glad that like I'm too much, you know, you know, I'm really in your ear with that. So, so I want you to be in more people's ears. So where can they track you down? How can they find you? I know you have the website, the books, been on a bunch of other podcasts, but where should they start?

Yeah, my goal this year is to be on 100 podcasts. And so you can find me on my website, beatechelet.com. And if you are a business owner, I have a masterclass for you that you can take for free. It's, you go to airtightavatar.com. And in about 45 minutes, I'll take you through how to create an ideal customer profile, And, you know, due to German form and engineering, it'll have checklists and multiple choice and things like that. So I made it really easy, making sure that you walk away with something tangible. If you are interested in my book, it's called "Happy Woman, Happy World: Your Foolproof Fix to Get from Overwhelmed to Awesome," in which I talk a lot about women leadership. And I always I will just say that men who have read it call it the playbook of the other team. So if you're a woman listening, get it and leave it in the bathroom. The chapters are written a certain length for a reason.

That's where I do all my good reading.

That's how I designed it.

You see all these books behind me, right? But that's my real library.

That's how I designed it. And that's why there's no hardcover. There's only a softcover available or as an audiobook, an ebook also available. And you can just go ahead and reach out to me at, send me an email at bc@beatajellette.com. It's my email. I read my own email. I answer my own email. I always love to hear from people what they've learned. And if you heard something and you go, I must work with her, then go to uncoverysession.com. That is, I'll be happy to make 7 complimentary Uncovery Sessions available for your listeners. Awesome. Just make sure Make sure you put that in the notes in there somewhere that you heard it at Jason's. And then we'll talk about what, if anything, I can do to help you break through that next level barrier in your business or in your career.

Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. Guys, y'all, everybody who's listening to this, please, please, please go to all those places. If you know someone, it may not be you, but you know someone specifically who would benefit from it. I'm sure right now you can think of one person. I already know 4 people I'm getting the book for right off the bat. The rest of the top of my head, a friend of mine just yesterday, 2 days ago, decided on a franchise business that she, that she bought after a year and change of like debating and this thing and this thing and debate and finally settled on and it's been so excited. So I already know who one of those, one of those sessions will hopefully go to. But, but one of the things that helps us as entrepreneurs and people who are trying to get the word out is that when you go and you hear an interview with her or you hear an interview with me, leave that a review and leave a positive comment right on the You Winning Life podcast or any of the ones that you've been on. Um, and just, and, and specifically mention our names and that will help more people find each of us and share and share it and share it. And that's how you guys can bring us a value to, to what we're doing in return for anything that you might have gotten out from today. So I wanted to thank you again. I'm so excited. I know that you and I will definitely going to continue our conversation questions offline. And, um, I very much look forward to that as well.

I love that. Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks for hanging out.

Thanks for listening to the You Winning Life podcast. If you are ready to minimize your personal and professional struggles and maximize your potential, we would love it if you subscribed so you don't miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook at You Winning Life.