Ep. 118-"Failure Is Success In Progress" with Erik Cabral

This is the You Winning Life Podcast, your number one source for mastering a positive existence. Each episode we'll be interviewing exceptional people, giving you empowering insights, and guiding you to extraordinary outcomes. Learn from specialists in the worlds of integrative and natural wellness, spirituality, psychology, and entrepreneurship so you too can be winning life. Now here's your host, licensed LMFT 🎗️, marriage and family therapist, certified neuro-emotional technique practitioner, and certified entrepreneur coach Jason Wasser. Oh man, guys, if you were here and listening to our last hour of conversation— that was our podcast episode was supposed to start an hour ago— all the real deal stuff of personal development, of life struggles, of business struggles, of teammates, of strategy, of partnership, of healing, of emotions, handling your stuff as you evolve as a business owner, as an entrepreneur. My next guest and I have been just going really deep, and we're going to continue the conversation for the next little bit because we want you to hear so much of what's going on in each of our worlds and the behind-the-scenes story of what it takes to become a healthy entrepreneur. Everybody talks about being a successful entrepreneur, but let's focus today on a healthy entrepreneur. And I got Eric Cabral, who I was supposed to be hanging out with over a year and change ago, and if not more, but we finally connected today. And he's a real estate and capital business investor. He's a media branding expert. He's a serial entrepreneur, founder of the media agency On Air Brands, the creator of the Podmax networking and podcasting event, co-host and producer of numerous shows. And he sits on the board of a real estate investor group. And he's a proud member of GoBundance, which is supporting a tribe of millionaires to further reach their goals. All the way from the northeast of Jersey. Eric, thanks for hanging out, man.

Yeah, brother, it's, uh, it's an honor to be here, and I'm glad we had a podcast that wasn't recorded. This is part 2, folks. You're witnessing part 2. So yeah, it's, it's good. It's, it's funny. You never know what's gonna happen in the— not just the podcast world, but just in life. And I appreciate your time and, and everything we, you know, already uncovered and discovered together. So I'm looking forward to this now, now officially recording.

I'm beyond honored because I know that you and I talked about this already, but just like like-minded people showing up at the right time in your life. And we both talked a little bit about our entrepreneur behind the scenes journey that, you know, we'll probably get into at some level, whether or not today, but definitely in the future to share a little bit more. But, you know, there's so much going on. So I want to start with this serial entrepreneur title and being gluten-free, I avoid cereal as much as possible. But I know that, like, I remember hearing, like, you know, as you and I just talked about, like, you know, how I got from being a therapist into the entrepreneurial world that, like, this word entrepreneur kind of was like this, like, dirty, you know, biased thing that I had against. And we just talked about your belief of what an entrepreneur is. So first, I want to start there with that awesome definition that as you were saying it to me, I started cracking up. I'm like, that's my definition too. So, you know, share with us, you know, your, your approach. What is entrepreneurship according to you?

Yeah. I, the quote that you're referencing that I said, and you know, I didn't come up with this and I'm sure, you know, it's, it's being said around the interwebs. Uh, but when I left corporate America after 20 plus years and, and, and joined the entrepreneur club and, um, being a proud business owner, trying to figure all that out, really just to replace my salary was the ultimate goal. Nobody told me that entrepreneurship is personal growth and self-development in disguise. I only heard that recently, brother. And I'm like, what? Yeah, I know this now, but I didn't know it then. And I'm glad I didn't because maybe I wouldn't have done it, you know, because everyone knows how painful it is. To grow and to peel layers back and to open the doors and unlock your mind and your spirit and your heart to discover your issues, your baggage, your crap. Like, you need to eat that and you need to digest it and you need to look at it and you need to figure it all out, or you're not going to grow. You're not going to get to the next level. Your business is not going to get to the next. It's all interwoven and connected. No idea until I until I committed to being an entrepreneur.

Yeah. And I think it's so interesting because as a therapist who avoided that title because of it's salesy and I didn't want to go into my family business and, right, we're talking about me being the black sheep or at least the way I— and now I'm working with family businesses and entrepreneurs and it was like this whole big thing. Like I had to reaccept unclaimed or unowned parts of myself that I originally had issues with. In order to heal that, in order to come to a place that actually was part of my purpose and my potential. And that 100% realizing that in my own journey over the last 4, 5, 6 years in this entrepreneurship space is— it is personal potential possibilities. And it's unlimited personal potential possibilities, because the things that are happening for me now, I never thought 4 years ago, 5 years ago, that I have a podcast and I'm talking to people that are just people that I admire and look up to and like only have seen on social media. And they're saying yes to hanging out with me. Like I would never fathom that. And when you were in corporate America, right? So you weren't working inside companies or a company. What was that space? What were you doing? And how did you end up there in the first place going into corporate America? What led you there?

Yeah, so, you know, the programming, I'd say, you know, my, you know, my upbringing, you know, my family are immigrants from the Philippines, um, understood that, you know, in America, to, to, to achieve the American dream, we need to, uh, you know, get our high school diploma and go to college, a good college, um, and then use that as a way to get in the door of a great company. And then when you get hired, you stay there. You are corporate through and through, and you stay there for 40 years and you collect your gold watch and your steak knives at the end, and then you go off into the sunset, right? That was the goal. And I did it for over 20 years and realized, Jason, that I wasn't happy. Why was I so unhappy? Why am I not feeling satisfaction even though I'm making a good salary? I've got it all. I've got the house, I've got the cars, I've got the wives, got the kids, the American dream accomplished it, right? And here I am having a conversation with my father on the deck and he's saying, what's next? I'm like, dude, this is what? Like, this house is 5 times bigger than the house we grew up in. Is this not enough for you? I kind of thank him now when in hindsight, like, it pushed me to like do what I'm doing now. But at the time I was like, I've, I've made it, right? I think I've made it. But it wasn't— I still didn't get Daddy's approval, right? That's a whole onion to peel there. But anyway, I'll leave it at that. So glad to be here with you. It's like, can I just lay down on the couch?

Exactly. The metaphorical therapeutic couch that I no longer have since I closed my office. Pandemic.

So it looks comfy from what I see behind you. Exactly.

Yeah. So, right. So that journey, and I do agree with you, right? This journey of unfinished business, this journey of our family legacy, um, embedded in culture, embedded in all of these layers of like, I just want to call politics at a simple level, um, approval, acceptance, having proved yourself. At some level. So when you started getting that unhappiness, that lack of satisfaction, what was the deciding factor that's like, all right, that's it, I'm done. I know what I want to do. I'm just, maybe I'm starting to build what I want to do on the side. What did that process look like? You know, that side, was it a side hustle? Was it a, what was that first step into shifting out of working for someone else, being that person that was an employee to going and creating something for yourself?

Yeah, it, you know, I dabbled. I started companies and failed in those companies over time while I was working full-time. And a lot of that had to do with my lack of commitment, lack of confidence, falling into the safety net of that weekly salary. You know, I'm like, why am I doing this? Why am I killing myself? It's not going anywhere. It won't go anywhere. Just all that limiting beliefs and the self-talk. And, you know, I was just caught up in what most people are caught up in. You know, that, that's a challenge. And I work at it every single day. And I mentioned The Untethered Soul. That helped me and gave me permission to say shut up to that voice that's always chattering. It's not always— if you look at the odds, statistically, it has not been giving you the best advice throughout your life.

Correct.

So I'm like, why am I listening to this as if it's the voice of God or the universe? Like, you're wrong sometimes. Shut up. So anyway, Untethered Soul. Highly recommend that book. Michael A. Singer. So I forgot your question. Keep going, keep going.

So when did you like, yeah, the side, like building it up, right?

My hand was sort of forced, but it was going to happen eventually anyway. The universe was going to, it wasn't going to allow me to collect that gold watch after 40. Whatever years. It was really the second time I was being laid off, I evaluated my situation. And I love the Tony Robbins saying, and I'm sure I'll butcher this one, but he says, you know, people won't make a change until the state that they're in is more painful than the act of changing, becoming something else. Like you have to come to the realization like this. I don't want to continue being this way and in this situation. I'm going to take the effort. As much as it's going to be painful and scary and hard, I'd rather do that than stay the same. And that's the first, right?

That's that forcing. And in the recovery world, that's the rock bottom for a lot of people.

Yes.

Right. And then some people still don't, and it takes multiple rock bottoms. Or in our world, it could be like, well, I'm moving from company to company, job to job, and nothing's different. And I see that all the time. In fact, one of my, you know, coaching clients that I'm working with is, they're like, I think I want to leave South Florida. I'm like, great, where you got— where you want to think about going? And they said, and I'm like, okay, so you want to sell everything and just pick up and go? I'm like, do me a favor, go for a week. Go for a week, get an Airbnb, Here's the places in that area that are all the young professional cool places to go and then come back and then tell me what— comes back a few weeks later, actually did it. Dude, it sucked. I have no desire to live there. I'm like, oh, you mean so the setup you have right now is actually not so bad, huh? And you're just leveraging it, right? Grass is greener. But, but it wasn't— but the pain point sometimes is going and seeing and realizing that, you know what, maybe I'm not putting everything in presently to what I could be doing where I'm at. And sometimes like yours, it just wasn't satisfactory. You weren't getting that, that satisfaction. Yeah, something was missing from your purpose.

100%. Yeah, 100%. And I've noticed that when I do occasionally talk to someone from that world that's still in it, that's a recurring theme. It's lack of purpose. Because oftentimes in big, big, big, big, big companies and corporations, their core values, their mission isn't often indoctrinated. I hate— it's not, it's not a great word, but indoctrinated is the first thing I can think of. And it's not pushed enough. And they— inside corporate America, we call it drinking the Kool-Aid, right? And if you don't have enough people that understand why they're getting up in the morning and why they're turning on that computer and why they're pushing out these emails and doing whatever it is— I used to— I didn't coin this, but a co-worker of mine said, I feel like a pixel monkey at sometimes, you know, because we're graphic designers and we're creatives and we just do what they say. You want fries with that? There was so much bitterness and anger and resentment towards getting orders from your boss to do your job. Basically, we should be grateful that we're here and we're getting paid and you're more probably just on Facebook all day, right? Everybody would complain. It's like, I wish I had the attitude now.

You need us more than we need you.

Right, exactly. And it, it was that realization that I was stuck in that rut and I was angry. The people around me were angry and I needed to change. I need to be around a different environment. And I just, just was yearning for something, a light at the end of the tunnel that would— and it was this. It was, it was, it was getting into business, you know, owning a business and creating a business. What was always showing up in my life and teasing, you know, like, like, hey, I'm here for you if you ever want to really explore that idea you have, you know. And if you really want to get uncomfortable, yeah, if you want to really get uncomfortable. But like I said earlier, I wish it was— I knew it's 2, 3 jobs because working on yourself is a full-time job, correct? Every single day it's work, it's work. And, and I appreciate it for what it's done for me.

It's so interesting because as you're telling that story, I'm reflecting back on my job that I had in a nonprofit while I was in graduate school. And there were so many things I loved about working there. And then there was the challenge of that they still tried to run this nonprofit like a business, but they weren't running it as a business. They were still running it like, well, we got to get our dues and we got to get our things and we got to charge for every little thing that we're doing. But I'm like, well, it's a nonprofit. It. Like, and we can't milk them if they already don't have it. And, and I remember having a conversation with one of the, the board members, it was actually the president of the board, um, about the activities and events that I was, you know, the department that I was running. And I remember having the realization in that conversation that the janitor of the building walked by out of my office, walked by past my office. And I realized that he and I were exactly the same. Hmm. We're both hired help and everybody's interchangeable. And if you're not gonna do this for us, even though this is our agenda or you don't align or we don't buy into, even though, right, there was a buying into the purpose and the mission of it, but it's just swappable parts. And I feel a lot of ways in that corporate, like you were describing, If people— there's people who work for a company and there's people who buy into the company and the mission, right? Apple's really good at that. They have their, you know, it's their, their, the cult of Apple and you see it and that's, you know, it was much bigger, you know, obviously a couple of years ago, but it's still that thing. Starbucks, really good with that, right? There's a company culture and it's culture-driven versus a company that you do your job, you go home at the end of the day, but you're, I, you're, but you're not invested in the values or the company doesn't even have clear values or doesn't have values at all. It's just, We're here to make money and you'll get a paycheck. And I think that's where a lot of people now, like, you know, our generation and a lot of people older than us struggle with this. Like, what do you mean? Just go, you do your job, you get your money, you take care of what you got to take care of and you go home. And our generation, and this is what that generation is complaining about, about our generation is, what do you mean you need a purpose? What do you mean? What do you mean you need to have, you need to feel good at the end of the day about what you do? You have responsibilities. That's what you should feel good about.

Right. It was, you know, and it makes sense. Right. And to defend that generation, it was an industrial revolution. You know, they were products of that and they're still churning and producing and creating people that are going to the industry. But there's a movement, and this is the one positive about social, is that, um, it's created awareness around the positive benefits of being an entrepreneur and a business owner. And like you said, when I was growing up, there wasn't a stigma attached in my mind to the word entrepreneur because I was not in it. So, I came at a time and we referenced Gary Vee before the mics turned on where that was sexy, right? We're all using that term. I even named my show Entrepreneur Circle out of, you know, eh, it's cool, it's sexy. People don't know how to spell it, but yeah, you'll find it. Um, but it's, here's the thing for anyone out there who's wondering, man, they're not really, you know, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to create my own business. I have a side hustle or I want to create one. It isn't easy. It's very, very, very hard. And there's a reason why after 10 years, there are no, I think it's less than 1% of businesses you could fact-check this, I could be wrong, survive after 10 years. Like, that's basically— you have 99% chance to fail, right? Right.

Meaning especially in specific industries, right? The food restaurant industry, within 5 years it's 50% failure.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's— the odds are so weighed against— it's insane how we do this. But there's a driving— there's something in our DNA, there's something in human nature where we like, we need to create, we need to build, like you said, we need to have purpose. And that's the question that people don't ask themselves. What is my purpose? If you ask that question, oh man, that's the unlock. Look out. Because if you find— and people also call it their why. But to me, purpose is more powerful. And when I say that, and I literally was talking to a friend about this the other day, I said, what's your purpose? He started crying on the phone. So, I mean, that's how strong it is, could be for us.

So what's your purpose, dude?

I don't, I don't want to get emotional, but so I'll spit it out so I don't get emotional. But my purpose came to me while I was meditating in divine, you know, entity, whatever it is poured into my brain at 5 in the morning. And I literally cried, dude. Like I started pouring emotions and tears when this came to me, but the purpose was for me and now has become my company's purpose because they've adopted it. They've drank the Kool-Aid, right? They get it. And that is, we make the world better, or at the time it was, I make the world better, but the company now makes the world better one mic at a time. And dude, that, if I don't want to think about it, I want to keep moving and talking fast so I don't start crying. But it like, that is how powerful it was for me because I understood the, I didn't understand at the time, bro, the layers that that meant. It wasn't just your mic, my mic currently. It's when I introduce someone to you and they make an impact and connect with one listener on your podcast because of that introduction. And I do that all the time. And then I also speak on stages. I also introduce people to speak on stages. There's microphones on that stage. So all of this just started to like, you know, branch out. And I was like, I'm like, whoa, this is so big. That one phrase is so big. I didn't realize it when it came to me, but that's why my body, my spirit, my emotions took hold because, uh, yeah, it's powerful.

So how did it, right? Because you went from corporate into the next step, but how did that Podmax and the media company, how did that evolve? Because this is part of what, this is pretty much you know, what's going on now. And this is the world that we're living in where leveraging social media is so easy and such a— there's a lot of steps to do it behind the scenes of like putting it together and production and stuff like that. But everything can be leveraged out. And thank God for, you know, places like Fiverr and, you know, all those other wonderful places. But there's multiple layers to this question. Number 1, how did you know that doing this specifically—podcasting, social media, media branding, media marketing—that was the place to go? And 2, when you're, when you're talking about that purpose under the purpose, right, the place where you feel spiritually connected the most, when did that start showing up? And you started feeling it once you started committing to this process?

That, that part didn't happen right away. That happened after years of doing what we do and what I do in podcasting. And, you know, I call being a super connector and just trying to be as valuable and offer the most value in people's lives without asking for anything in return. That really started to become part of my DNA, my core values, part of my core values. And, but that didn't happen right away. When I started the podcast, truly was just, it was a solution to a problem I was having whenever I had conversations with people. You know, what do you do again? You're creative, you know, you're in corporate, or are you doing real estate investing? I'm confused. Like, I see your content, but I don't know exactly what you do. So I wanted to create one house, one place that they can visit where I point them to the door and say, hey, go listen to my podcast and you'll get answers. You'll hear everything I'm doing. Right within the first 30 seconds, there's my introduction and it says, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, here's my story. So that was really the goal. But Jason, I had no idea it was gonna open the doors to a million opportunities and people that, that I love now and consider family. Like, I had no idea that it was going to build OnAir Brands, um, and, and do all the things that it's doing for me. And then now for others, like, I was like, this is so powerful what it's done for me. I need to give this to others. I need to empower others. And then like, now, you know, we've got, you know, so many clients, you know, dozens of clients where it's like, What happens when we have hundreds of clients? Like, what is the impact we're going to make? It's just insane. Like, what you're also creating community and you're right.

The connections is step one to community and finding where people who are like-minded fit in. And we talked about this, you know, previous to this, to our recording of the connection of the fitting in, of finding your alignment, finding people that have the like-minded shared values. And, and I, and it's interesting to see that the people I've met through this community, more often than not, we're reading the same books, we're talking about the same people, we're overlapping at some level. It's like the Kevin Bacon 7 degrees, right? Yeah. Like a game. And we, you and I have multiple 1 degrees of separation of people that we're both connected to and close with. And it's so cool to see how small and connected the world can be. Through this, where it— like you said, like, we would never get in front of these people. I would never get in front of the people I've gotten in front of had it not been for this platform and allowing people to share their wisdom with the people that I want to share that with. And it's like, you know, #LifeHack101 is that. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, a human, a human desire just inherently baked in most of us, not everyone, but I think even, even the most introverted of introverted people still need human contact at some point. This allows us and gives us an excuse to have more and more an abundance of this human connection, which builds so, so, so many things First of all, it starts the conversation to open the door to a relationship, potentially a transaction for people who want to leverage their podcast as a business. But I always recommend that you do not lead with that. Like, your conversation is to get to know each other and to get to potentially— it's going to sound corny— love each other to a degree where you just want to help. You just want to help. How can I help you? How can I get you to your mission? I'm going to get you to your goals. Like, if that's true and genuine, people will feel, sense it, and they'll feel it, and they'll get behind you. All of a sudden, you have an army of people, which could be called a community, that love and support you, will take bullets for you. And that's powerful. Whenever I host an event and I'm on stage and I'm talking to people, I get emotional because I'm like, this is power. And there is so much that I can do to help people. It scares me sometimes, Jason, honestly. I'm like, there are people that have this ability and they don't use it for good. Correct. And that's my mission is to do good with it. And as we grow and as I grow and have more and more and more conversations, I just want to affect change, man, like positive change in the world and align with the journey that humanity is on.

I think that self-selecting community is showing up over the last 5, 10 years, especially in this space where there's so many conferences and masterminds and, you know, someone organizing something and bringing all these speakers and then they're selling stuff from the stage or— right? Like there's so much of that sales aspect that kind of turns a lot of people off from the entrepreneurship space. And then there's the, you know, not that they're not of integrity, but it's not always transparent. Yeah. And right. As a therapist, right? My job is to make as much on the table, put as much on the table, as much transparency between people and their stuff. Whatever it may be, as possible. So everything is discussed, everything is negotiable, everything is on the table. Everything is, what can we do and how can we do this and how can we make it achievable and uplift both or all sides? So it's a win-win-win for everybody. When you are collaborating, when you started collaborating, when you started learning how to collaborate with other people, what were some of those steps that you had to take? Because you were getting— you were coming from corporate. You were an employee, and I'm sure there was teams around you and people you had to collaborate with at that level. But when you started having to lead the collaboration, what were some of the things that you learned? What were some of the challenges that you faced and what were some of the successes?

Some of the early challenges, you know, especially from corporate America, cuz that's where I first experienced, you know, leading and, and, and building and growing teams and companies within companies. Um, is I guess I got a taste of personal growth and self-development, but I didn't know that's what it was. It was, it was really me putting my ego aside and recognizing that if someone's giving me feedback, I need to take it and process it, keep some of it and throw some of it away because I know that the source may also be injecting their own baggage into their communication to me. And I had to be able to identify what's good and what's bad. That was during my corporate time. During that time, and it was a short period before I left, honestly, Jason, maybe like a few years before I left. So I didn't experience a lot of that, but that level of awareness was starting to happen. And I started to take my one-on-ones seriously. So one-on-ones, for anyone who's not familiar, that is the opportunity for you to talk to your manager and get feedback. And oftentimes I say, I gotta do this. I'm just gonna do this. Talking, and I had managers that were terrible at it and they didn't want to give negative feedback. And they, you're the best, you're the best, I love you, I love you, bye, you're one of the most great. And then I had others that were super negative, right? And they only focus on the negative, never ever celebrated a win, you know. And then I had those— this, this was rare, but I had them. I was blessed to have managers where they were very, very growth-oriented and gave me really good productive feedback. And because those people were very self-aware and were grounded and had balance in their life, and I appreciate— big shout out, his name's Angelo. I've never mentioned him on a podcast. Angelo Rotacco was one of the best managers I ever had because he had that, that quality to him. And I always remember when I become a manager, or when I did become a manager, wasn't really— I was kind of forced to do it. He was that example that I leaned in on. Like, I want to be whatever he did during our relationship. I want to be that for others. And it really helped. It really helps because I'm like, whoa, I am creating an army of people that are like, they literally followed me when I left corporate America and came with me to my company. You Jerry Maguire'd it. Yeah, Jerry Maguire'd it. And, you know, I wasn't ready for it because I couldn't pay them the $100,000 salaries they were accustomed to. But that just showed like I was, I had that ability and it gave me the confidence that I could inspire troops, you know, to run into battle. And I'm like, what do I do with this ability?

And I think that's the most powerful part of this space, whether you're working in a company, like you said, you were building teams and businesses within a company. And one of my buddies calls that being an intrapreneur. Yes. Right. Right. And that's a word that we don't use enough in that, like, you know, we're like, well, you're either on this side of the world or you're this side of the world. And, and yet you You can be entrepreneurial within a company. You could be an intrapreneur and you can help them build and grow and have more involvement and ask for that and dare to ask for that. And I say, I have an— I want to make an investment in this company. I have, you know, I believe, you know, ideas and thoughts. And are you open to hearing these things? And obviously it takes good managers and good owners and good, you know, development teams to be receptive to that. And obviously, you know, if you're not able to get there with those people, then it might be time to look elsewhere. People who are thinking like, ah, it's gonna be great somewhere else. Try it first. Do this therapeutic process of bringing that awareness to where you are first. But of course it has to start with you, like you're saying. And then going into this whole thing you and I were talking about, like, you know, my process of as a therapist and running away from being this, like, being a business owner, like being a therapist didn't mean being a business owner. I had a business. Definitely didn't mean being an entrepreneur or being entrepreneurial. And it— but I'm a therapist and I have self-awareness. So it shouldn't be innate, but I was working on my self-awareness, right, and evolving and going through my own healing. And then it really wasn't exponential until I started stepping into this space and learning, oh wait, they talked about that in graduate school. Oh wait, this book talks about this in the therapy speak, but this is how it shows up. I didn't know that the business world, the entrepreneur world, the sales world, or the idea of sales was a curse word, right, in my mind.

Yeah. One thing that you— because you brought it up a few times, um, the sales aspect. Yeah. Well, let's, let's flop roles here for a second. I've, I've realized only recently the exponential growth that we're experiencing is because I leaned into sales. And I, like you, always associate that's a dirty word. I don't like doing it, you know, but I was, I guess, never selling a product that I truly, truly, truly believed in and that truly believed that it could help someone. And I wasn't always talking to the right people that needed it. So I'm trying to sell something to anyone and I don't believe it could really help them because I'm desperate. So I started to do like, there was all this negative association. That's just one thing to the word sales and doing the process. But I've, what I've discovered recently through our success is once I lean into it and realize it's not dirty and it's necessary in order to grow business and to help more people, and it's okay for people to say no. I think I was afraid of the rejection. I was afraid of no. And I was afraid of all these things. There were so many layers and facets to why I dislike sales and why many, many, many, many people don't like sales, right? But there's something very empowering about it when you get good at it and you do it with, with authenticity and belief in what it is you're trying to give to someone, because you're really giving them an opportunity to participate in whatever it is you're doing, or to unlock the solution they've been looking for, this is a gift that you're giving to them. And once we understand and you embrace that, then sales gets easier. Yeah, yeah.

When I started understanding value over cost, yeah, you really started changing it. But that's where I feel so many people have that, like, you know, this syndrome of, like, really this imposter syndrome, or like, what I'm doing really isn't enough. And I was just Talking to another therapist the other day about this, and I'm coaching them through this stage of like increasing their fees and they know they're really good, but like, well, I can't because of this and I can't be like, there's, there was more excuses for why they can't than why they could. Yeah. Yeah. Until we, you know, and intellectually we can't convince, sometimes it's not an intellectual thing. It's all going back to what we started off, you know, our family story and our legacy and our culture and our heritage and all that stuff that we're still playing out. And that's why like this therapeutic process as part of entrepreneurship, I feel like has to be the one-two punch because it's going to show up in your leadership. It's going to show up in your communication with people. It's going to show up in your partnerships and all the other stuff. And it's going to cause chaos and it's going to cause a mess, or it can enhance it and you can become radically, radically successful. And we create our own stumbling blocks through that. And I saw as I evolved, it wasn't everybody else. The clients that I let in 5 years ago, 7 years ago, were because I let them into my door. So if they drove me crazy, God bless them, it was because I let them in. I said— and I said, I'm the right therapist for you, versus now I'm more likely to say, let me refer you out, than to take a client on unless they meet these really specific key parameters. Yeah, yeah.

And that's changed everything about my practice. Yeah. You know, and it takes a while. It doesn't happen overnight to find the courage because it's— when you're starting a company, you have to say yes to everything. Every single opportunity is an opportunity for you to grow and survive, right? We're in survival mode because this is going to feed my family, or this I have to do because I burned the boats. I'm not going back. So you get desperate and you start to take every— everything looks and feels like an opportunity and you have to say yes because the nos, which we addressed, you know, is painful and I don't want to hear the nos and whoa, I heard a yes. So you like, I love it, I love it, I love you. Let's just work together. But meanwhile, when you get to the point where you have enough success and you have enough income and you have enough where you're feeding your family and you're providing, then and only then really truly and finally getting to experience this is say no to opportunities because they're not opportunities, right? There's someone that's not aligned with your mission, your goals, and you aren't the best person to help them. And like you said, you can point them in the right direction. You can point them in the right direction. If, if I'm sitting as a, as a business owner, let's just use restaurants for an example, and it's a steakhouse and someone comes up to my door and says, I am so hungry. I'm like, hey, come on in. This is a restaurant. We'll serve you. I'm a vegan. Oh, I'm sorry, you know what, this isn't the place for you. Right down the road, my buddy has a wonderful vegan shop. So like, they have a problem and they need a solution, but you may not be that solution, and that's okay.

It's not nothing personal, right? You know, well, in crisis, they may be okay with the salad and the baked potato because that's just enough, but then they're going to go into another scenario where they're just looking for just enough. Versus actually handling the thing under the thing, the problem under the problem, the stuff that really sticks it and holds it together. And that's kind of where I'm looking at everything from, from a therapist is like, you guys come in, like whoever comes in, I'm like, you've described this challenge or problem or issue. And that's the mountain that you need to get over. But what I'm going to help you realize is that that's not a mountain, that's only like a little bit of a speed bump. But there's some other bigger mountain behind that, that's really holding it all together that you can't even see because you've conjured up this thing of your dominant focus on? And if we solve that, what would you then allow yourself to look forward to? What would you then allow yourself to take on? What would you then be able to have the energy, the time, the space, the where, the mental capacity to finally get hands on? Like, oh, well, I would finally be— oh, so why don't we just address that? And that will probably knock out that first thing that you came up to hang out with me for. But no one looks at that from that way because it's always what's right in front of us. It's the headlight syndrome. I only get 10 yards in front of me. I don't see the next 20 yards. Right. And I want to handle all of that and then reverse engineer it. And I love that these are the awarenesses because everything you're talking about in business really is personal development stuff. It's knowing your value. Knowing what you're offering, the value of that and acceptance. Will they like me? Will they not like me? Does selling something or them buying or partnering with me or doing a deal with me mean that they really like me? And then there's the other side of the rejection. Yeah. Element. So I'm wondering, and I'm putting it out there for people out there listening, like if you focus— of the many things you can focus on 2022 is your— those two dynamics. I'm really curious to hear by the end of the year what's going to happen in transition in your life of acceptance and value and handling rejection. It's—

can I share something that we've mostly— if you're— especially if you're in this game and you're consuming content like this and you listen to Jim Rohn and Tony Robbins— I went to Tony Robbins live event, his first after 2 years, and I've heard this before through his content, but it didn't drive home until I went and I heard it over and over and over, and it really sunk in, right? It embedded. And he said there are really only 4 to 6 things, but I'll mention the top 4 things that every human being needs. And you, if you can identify it right away in conversation, and you're already shaking your head yes because you know what I'm going to say, is, is, is number 1: they either want certainty Right? If they want certainty, or if it's not certainty, they want uncertainty, right? There's a lot of entrepreneurs that want to jump out of planes and do scary, risky things. They thrive on risk-taking, and that's a good trait to be an entrepreneur because we need to take big risks. So then after that, there's significance, right? They want significance in the world. And I realized that is one of the reasons I started my podcast. I wanted to be validated. I needed significance. I needed people to listen to me in order for me to value myself and to realize that I have value and to uncover unlock that value. I didn't really know truly what it was. If you go back to my early shows, what the heck I'm talking about? You know, I'm trying to— I'm figuring it out, right? And still figuring it out to this day. And then the last thing is love and connection. That's the top 4, right? So, when you're talking to someone, what bucket do they fall in? What do they need out of those 4 things? But then when you get to the next level, which is I am slowly clawing my way towards, is fifth is growth and sixth is contribution. And when you get to that level, bro, and I know there's a lot of people in my world that are in the contribution phase and in the growth phase with us. And I'm like, I look to them to lead. I look to them for inspiration. And but those top 4 things, it's everyone, anyone and everyone in your family are looking for those as certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, and connection. And then when you talk to people who talk about growth, and contribution. I, yeah, I'm there. I've arrived. And, and, and I need to be, need to be around more of this because that's going to give and provide me growth through their, through their teachings.

It's so awesome because I know that I'm no longer at a price point where everybody can afford me as a therapist and as a coach. And one of my clients of, I don't know, 2 months ago, uh, said to me like, I think I'm going to start coming every 2 weeks. Great. That's amazing. Like, I'm so glad we're at that point, right? Because I don't want you— right? I like, you know, eventually becoming the, you know, the oil change, come to me every 3,000 miles, you know, 3 months or 3,000 miles, you know, whichever comes first. And she said, I've been listening to your podcast so much that I literally have you in my head when a situation comes up and be like, okay, so in that episode, Jason Wasser said this about that topic. And I don't need to pay him X amount of dollars to know that I'm gonna go sit with them and we're going to talk about that. And that's probably what I'm— I'm going to come to my own awareness of that anyway. And I'm like, fantastic. Like, I'm glad I'm putting myself out of business in that scenario. And really, I joke with them. I'm like, you know, that was on episode 72, like in a session, like, or that was episode 68, right? Like, what's my homework? Go listen to that episode. And it may not even be mine. Go listen to this person or go listen to this person or watch this TED Talk or watch this YouTube video. And I'm constantly, constantly referring people to other friends or people that don't even know his podcast or this episode or that book or, you know, Untethered Soul or— right? I think that's the beauty of where that influence can be felt of like, this is some information, this is some wisdom I gathered, here's how it could be applicable to you. But we also have to challenge people to go do that. To spend 15 minutes on that video, listen to that hour podcast, or, or whatever. Like, the effort— I think that the thing that people need to realize is it takes effort, and it takes inertia, and it takes consistency. And, um, you know, as Sean and Lacey, you know, friends of yours, or whatever, on my episode a few weeks ago, on their episodes out now, like, we talked about, like, decisiveness as a, as a really important factor in success, and that the most— the people that they see in the community who are the most successful have become the most decisive. And I think that is a key factor in personal growth, is decisiveness.

Yeah, and the commitment to growth and the courage to respond to whatever comes your way as an opportunity to explore what did I do incorrectly and what can I learn from this experience so that I can do it better next time? That's difficult, man. And it's difficult to recognize those things, number one, but I also want to empower or at least give permission to the audience because I needed this. I needed to hear this. Failure is often looked at as not an option. But to me, when I discovered and I got the unlock, which I don't have tattoos, Jason Wasser, but if I ever did, failure is success in progress. Failure is success in progress, bro, was a game changer, an upgrade to the operating system that's never going away. And I was like, what? If that is a good thing, you— I should be failing, right? And then like, and then you hear all the stories, right? You know, and then Edison with the bulb and 10,000 times, and you hear all these stories. But that was the one thing that resonated with me and gave me permission to explore, to fail, to try everything. And that's where— because I go back to your earlier question, which I didn't jump into, was why serial entrepreneur. What is that label about? That's lack of focus, honestly. That's not knowing what I needed to do and just exploring, and everything was an opportunity. And I jumped into so many different categories and so many different businesses. You know, own multiple businesses. Technically, I have like, I don't even know, dude, at this point, 8 LLCs, 1 S corp, and a C corp. Seriously, like, that's crazy. And only maybe 3 of those or 2.5 of those are operational.

Right. And that's a lot of stuff to constantly, like every year to do your annual filing. It's crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm closing LLCs every year. Yeah. It's crazy. And it's like, that was lack of focus. I now finally, finally, finally have focus and it's a blessing. I'm like, man, this is good.

This is, this is nice. Well, how would I answer that if someone was asking that as a question of like, how do I focus or how do I know what's the next thing to do? How do I know what's the right field? What's the right school to go to? The right decision, the right job, the right partner. Is reverse engineering it for a very simple way. Once you tell me your core values, then everything can come from a binary yes or no. So in other words, if you know, don't tell me that like people focus on, well, I don't know what industry to go into and I'm really curious about these 5 industries. Okay, great. What are your core values about what you want to be doing in your career from a professional side, from a, that type of side? And then once you define what those core values are, 5 to 7 core values with a definition of what those mean to you, now, which one of those industries align with that? And the ones that don't, kick them out. And then, but I might have 3 choices. That's awesome. Then nothing is going to be the wrong decision as long as it aligns with your values. Your biggest challenge is which one are you going to do first? And that's where the, maybe that's where the, you know, the ADD-ness of entrepreneurship or making a decision or our commitment issues that we seem to have in this generation. But it won't be a wrong decision. They'll all be right decisions as long as it aligns. So it's a much easier, much more simplistic way of making decisions instead of like, what should I do? What's the right decision? Is, well, tell me your core values and then what aligns with that and then rule out everything that doesn't. Mm-hmm.

100%. So good. And It's funny because we're more familiar with core values for corporations, right? They've determined what moves the needle and how you get everyone on the same page. And only recently, I imagine, and only in my world, that we adopted this into life, right? In our businesses and in our life. So I came up with the core values to my company, I don't know, a few years ago. And then I only created my core values, my personal core values recently over the past 6 months to a year. And that has been the answer to whenever there's a question that arises and I don't know the answer. Should I take this opportunity? Should I work with this person? Should I take this client on? And I go to my core values. First, the company's core values. And now my team, they're amazing. They even spit it back. You know, like, is this something— this is not aligned with our core value for this one. And I'm like, oh, you're so right. I'm like, then we walk away from this one. But I love how you're saying like, you know, everything becomes binary at this point. It's yes or it's no. And it's very clear the picture when you have that. And I do want to share something that I'm doing. This is new. Rather than coming up with goals for 2022, because we're around that time, not to date the podcast. I know we want to create Evergreen content here, but it's all good. If it's any new year, anything that's coming on, whatever it is, the month, I'm creating themes. Right, so my theme for 2022 is to move towards and align with anything that speaks to freedom and mutual respect. Now, anything that is the opposite of that, I am heading for the hills. I am running from it. That's power and control. But that's business relationships, friendships, opportunities that present themselves. Does this look like something Does this look like a client? Does this look like a person that's all about power and control? Yep. Thank you, but no thank you. Are you all about freedom and mutual respect for each other? I'm all in, bro. Let's continue the conversation. So that's my 2022, and we'll see how that all shakes out. It's already shaking out. We've spoken about this before the mic's turned on a little bit, and then now it helped me to make a decision.

This is the challenging things that people listening need to know, that it's not like you said, it's not all sexy and it's not all— I love quoting Gary Vee, it's not all yay, yay, rah, rah. You know, it's sometimes in the trenches and it's emotional and it's gut-wrenching and it's real and it's raw and it's hard and it's meaningful and changeworthy and beautiful and frustrating. It's all everything wrapped up because it's real. It's real. And it's emotional. And, and, and it's funny, I was flipping pages. You know, those of you who are listening to the audio, you probably heard the paper crinkling. And I have my 2022 right here for my accountability group that I had my, my account, my business accountability team, we had them all fly in, we did a retreat 2 weekends ago. And my 3 values, my personal values and my business values, but the 3 themes/values that I'm going to enhance, that I want to enhance in 2022, are from our buddies that we just talked about: decisiveness, something that I know that I need to be more consistent on, consistency, yeah, and compassion. Even though that's what I do all day, right, is, is as a therapist, as a coach, I want to work from a place of compassion. But my focus has to be, am I giving myself the compassion that I'm giving my clients. Mm. Yeah, that's powerful. And beating myself up and giving myself crap and in the ways that I know I should not be at 43 anymore. Yeah. So that's the 3 value, the 3 themes for my 2022, that decisiveness, the consistency, and the compassion. And I wanna definitely talk about that more over the next year. Yeah. Along with my go— my goals and for each of my personal professional life and my first quarter goals. And, you know, but it's really going back to where we started as we round out our conversation is how you do one thing is how you do everything. And it's going to show up in your personal life, whether you're doing this entrepreneurial thing or you're entrepreneur and you're working as a, you know, as an employee, it's going to show up. It's going to show up in your relationships. It's going to show up in your money. It's going to show up in your food. It's going to show up in your spirituality. It's going to show up in your body. Yeah.

Absolutely. It's— I don't know the overall sort of thread throughout this that people are going to take away. And I don't— because maybe this will be a good contrast because I know a lot of podcasts out there are like, rah rah rah, shishoom bah, you know, entrepreneurship's the great and shiny and I'm a success and listen to my stories and it's going to inspire you to take the leap. And, you know, and I remember doing a lot of shows that way. Like my podcast, guesting on others. And now I step in fully vulnerable, fully transparent, truly honest, right? And now Jason and I have been sharing that it's not easy. There's a lot of, not just speed bumps, but there's a lot of spikes and there's a lot of, you know, and there's a lot of caverns and holes. Unreal. So yes, all that, but trust me, when I say it's all worth it because it drives our purpose in life. This is why we're doing it. If you don't have that strong purpose that's going to move mountains, then yes, maybe entrepreneurship is not for you. You have to find the why. My why at first was my family. I'm going to do it. And everybody's is always like, my family. You know, I got inspired, and a lot of people get inspired to make more money when they start having kids. And that's was my trigger. That was the light bulb. And I'm like, what am I going to do to provide? How do I take us to the next level? How do I create financial freedom for us? How do I do all these things? Oh, here's the answer. It's real estate investing, starting my own business. I read Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki. And I was like, I need to live in one of these four quadrants, you know, ESBI, you know? And it's like, and highly recommend go check out that book, The Four Quadrants, or for if you haven't read Rich Dad Poor Dad, read that first. But when I got that purple pill and I took it, and I committed, it's so worth it. Yes, my why was family and it's always and always forever will be. But the true purpose didn't come until what I said earlier, making the world better one mic at a time is going to move the mountains. It's not just going to provide for my family, but it's going to provide for other people, creating something that has value in this world. And when I started to embrace that, dude, That gets me up every morning and it's worth all the struggles.

And this is each, like you're saying, each one of those things is its own developmental stage. Because when I first read Rich Dad Poor Dad, so my friend gave it to me actually. Oh, his copy is still sitting here from 16 years ago. He lent it to me. So just give the book. If you happen to be listening to my, I have your Rich Dad Poor Dad. Um, uh, so hit me up. But at that point, I couldn't— I wasn't a vessel for it. I wasn't a vessel for it, right? And as I look at, you know, it's funny, I'm sure like you and I have many overlapping books on our bookshelves, right? There's sometimes like, we're just not— like The Untethered Soul, the first time I read it, I couldn't get past the first 2 chapters. And how many times I remember sitting at the pool, had to be at least 15 years ago, when I first got that book, sitting at the pool outside of my condo on a Saturday afternoon. And I literally read that first chapter, the first paragraphs of the first chapter 12 times, and it just wasn't saturating. And I'm super into spirituality and different philosophies and adding it to my Jewish background and mysticism and all that stuff like that. And I love all that stuff and using it as commentary to enhance my life. It just didn't saturate because I wasn't the vessel yet. And the keyword is yet for that. But then a few years ago, I heard the, you know, the 10x rule, which is behind you. I'm like, oh, that's— oh, so it's about the, you know, the same effort to do this is the same effort that we spend on lower frequency stuff and, and all those things. And that was able to be received. And now I can go back and read the Rich Dad Poor Dad again. Now I can go back and read Untethered Soul again. Now I'm maybe ready for the Miracle Morning. Yeah, maybe I'm going to try, you know, it's on my iPad. So I want people to also realize that there are developmental stages to this process. That's why it's important to have mentors. That's why it's important to have coaches. That's why it's important to have therapists. You and I were talking about, you know, having your, you know, even if they're in, you don't know them personally, you don't have to know Gary Vee or Tony Robbins or, or you know, Oprah or Brené Brown personally, or right, to get their wisdom, just devour, you know, commit to doing, I'm going to do 30 hours, January, or February, or March, or April, or whatever it is, pick a person that you want to devour their content for that month. And maybe that's a 12-month theme for somebody, picking 12 people, different areas of my life that I want mentorship on, I want guidance on and devour the best person that you know, in that industry, or who someone Repcom Recommends and make March Vulnerability Month with Brené Brown. How can I be more vulnerable? How can I connect more to people?

Such good advice. Here's my question. It's a question, it's a statement at the same time, and you can peel this, I'm sure, all day, uh, going down this, this path. Um, the biggest challenge that I had, and I'm sure a lot of people who are potentially listening, is that Going down this road of personal growth, self-development, counseling, therapy, whatever you want to call it, um, is first admitting that you potentially need help. And the thing is, a lot of people, especially in our culture, can't admit that maybe there's something wrong, maybe they need fixing. That's why they're like, I'm not broken, Jason, why are you coming to me like that? And they get defensive because it's like I don't need to be fixed. I ain't broke. It's not about that. It's about unlocking something that can show you your true potential. And I know that sounds corny and very Oprah, but it's freaking true. How do you unlock your true potential if you're staying stuck in a box and you don't even know you live in a box?

It's humility. It's humility. I think at the end of the day, and, um, again, just, it's, I was joking with one of my clients that when I recommended for them to listen to a Gary Vee episode, I'm like, all right, ignore all the F-bombs. But he would have been a really good therapist if he wasn't doing what he was doing. Yeah.

And very direct though. Very direct. I don't know about his bedside manner. No, no.

But if he wasn't that right. But I think that's what makes, you know, that's what also makes, that's his shtick. Yeah. But, but right, the humility of realizing that You aren't— you want to be around people that are smarter than you. You want to be around people that are more successful than you. You never want to be the person that has it the most figured out in your room. And what was that one quote he said? Like, you know, you have to figure out who, you know, of the 5 people you spend the most time with, who's the most loserest friend. And if you can't figure it out, it's probably you.

So good. Right. And I'm like, damn, that's like—

but that, that's where the humility comes in of like taking stock and account accounting and accountability of like our attributes and our character traits. Right. So, you know, as we're— what's, what's the character trait we want to work on this year? What's the attribute we want to work on this year? Right. That's why, like, for me, like you, you both and I, you and I are very aligned with that of like, these are the 3 aspects of ourself that I want to work on in 2022. You know? So I want to challenge, you know, anybody who's listening to this, pick, pick one, forget 3, pick one element of yourself. That's a pain point. That's a sticking point and get humble. About it. Maybe it is your humility. Pick an attribute, pick a character trait that you think will, by working on this— and it's probably showing up in more places than you think— will make radical changes in your life by the time, like, this time next year.

Yeah, yeah, it's good stuff, man.

So this is a good place to hold because I know, as we, we have already decided, that's probably— our listeners can understand what you and I can hit a billion topics and we're definitely going to do this again.

I think for anyone who's listening, uh, congratulations. Uh, you're, you're getting to the end of the ride, but Jason and I have been here for like 3 hours. So you only heard half the conversation.

And I know you have a, you have a next call in 15 minutes. I'm like, I just got to go to the bathroom before my next. But, but Eric, where can everybody find you? I know you have On Air Brands. And you have your website and all the different cool stuff you're doing. But what's the, what's the easiest way for people to listen to you and find you?

And yeah, I mean, the best way to listen to me is to find my show Entrepreneur Circle, but I'm everywhere, you know, Eric Eat with a K Cabral. You can go to Eric Cabral. Yeah, ericcabral.co. I couldn't get .com. There's, I have a doppelganger somewhere on the West Coast and I'm like, I'm going to have to find an assassin and take me out.

Me too. So I just bought Jason Wasser.co because he, there's a JasonWasser.com out there. So hit him up if you guys want to get that thing.

I want to buy it from him. I emailed him. It's funny because he's a real estate agent. You know, he's not an investor, but he's an agent. He's in the space and people confuse it. They're like, hey man, I went to your website, you never responded. I'm like, that wasn't my website. He's getting all this good business.

But he's getting all this good business.

But yeah, I did email him. Not to say— somebody said you should have him on your podcast. I'm like, that would be so weird. But, but I did make an offer to buy .com and he ignored me. He didn't have anything up yet.

Have you gone on Facebook and started friending all the people with your name? No, I did that a few years ago just for fun. I'm like, I want to like, and, and do we have to, what are the Jason Wassers of the world have in common? Are we all 5 foot 2? You know, I don't know, like, you know, like I really like there's right, there's energy with our names because You know, there's— when we're given our name, there's some type of like, you know, energy with that. So I wonder, like, I'm really curious, like, you know, yeah, if you all want a creepy side project just for fun for 2022, just start liking— just started adding everybody with your name on Facebook and like say, hey, what are you doing? I'm doing an investigation.

So this aligns with, um, I'm not going to give any spoilers, just a heads up. Uh, but like a lot of the multiverse stuff that's going on in the Marvel Universe and DC, they're like Flashpoint. They want to tell that story where there's multiple universes and multiple Batmans, and they already announced that, so that's not a spoiler, but Keaton's coming back as Batman and Batfleck, you know, Ben Affleck will be there. But then they're doing it in Marvel. There's the multiverse is broken open. So there's multiple Jason Wassers, there's multiple Eric Cabral's. Find the right one, please. We beg you.

Yeah, right, right. Yeah. See, right on their brands. And yeah, the other website. And, and yeah, and Eric, it is ericcabral.co. Make sure, yeah, make sure you guys go to the right thing and check out his podcast. And Eric, oh man, this is, this is why I love, and I know you love doing what you're doing, because this is like you said, like we end up becoming friends with the people a lot of times. And, and I'm just beyond flattered and honored that one, I was able— I know we've been scheduling this, we had to change it on your end and then on my end, and we finally made it happen.

And yeah, the universe made it so.

It's always conspiring.

We just got to work with it. Exactly. And it was perfect timing for me personally to have this conversation with you. So thank you. My absolute pleasure.

So y'all, if you haven't, please, please, please subscribe. If you haven't subscribed to mine, please do it. Leave us some good feedback if you got anything out of this episode or other episodes. If you know someone who has or will benefit from any of these episodes, as well as like all the cool stuff that Eric's been talking about, there's just— his community is incredible. His events, Podmax, which is one of them that I've been invited to, and unfortunately, it just never has worked out in my schedule, as he and I were talking about beforehand. I need more advanced notice. So we're going to talk to our mutual buddy about that. But there's so much incredible resources just between the books that we recommended today and, you know, and the videos and the names. And if you haven't listened to any of their stuff, please go check their stuff out. Their stuff out as well. And Eric, my man, to be continued. Absolutely.

Thank you.

Thanks for listening to the You Winning Life podcast. If you are ready to minimize your personal and professional struggles and maximize your potential, we would love it if you subscribed so you don't miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook at You Winning Life.