Ep. 119- "Are You Trustworthy" with Ari Galper

In this episode of the You Winning Life podcast, host Jason Wasser interviews Ari Galper, the world’s leading authority on trust‑based selling and creator of Unlock the Game and Trusted Authority. Ari shares his personal backstory, including moving from the U.S. to Australia and raising his son Toby, who has Down syndrome—a experience that taught him about transparency, love, and the power of trust. The conversation then shifts to Ari’s core business concepts: the Trust Box (a pre‑call package that transfers trust before any conversation), trust‑based languaging (replacing traditional sales scripts with diagnostic, client‑centered questions), and the “doctor metaphor” that frames the seller as a diagnostician rather than a promoter. Ari explains how these ideas compress a multi‑step sales cycle into a single “One Call Sale,” eliminating resistance from the initial hello. He also discusses how trust‑based principles apply beyond business—to parenting, relationships, and everyday negotiations—illustrating with a story about helping a father communicate with his teenage son. Throughout, Ari critiques post‑COVID skepticism, the futility of traditional free‑consulting tactics, and the limits of market nurturing, emphasizing the need for authentic, instant trust transfer. The episode closes with mentions of Ari’s upcoming book, resources, and ways to connect via LinkedIn and his website.
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This is the You Winning Life podcast, your number one source for mastering a positive existence. Each episode we'll be interviewing exceptional people, giving you empowering insights, and guiding you to extraordinary outcomes. Learn from specialists in the worlds of integrative and natural wellness, spirituality, psychology, and entrepreneurship so you too can be winning life. Now here's your host, licensed LMFT 🎗️, marriage and family therapist, certified neuro-emotional technique practitioner, and certified entrepreneur coach, Jason Wasser.
So welcome back to the You Winning Life podcast. I am Jason Wasser, but you heard all that in the introduction. I am super, super stoked for this, uh, guest today. His name is Ari Galper. He is the world's number one authority on trust-based selling. He's the creator of Unlock the Game and Trusted Authority, which are revolutionary sales approaches That overturn the notion of selling as we know it. He's an author, he's a coach, he's a consultant. He's got really cool show where you can, uh, call in and be part, uh, connected to him through LinkedIn where you can ask him a business question and he'll answer it. Super cool stuff. We're going to talk a little bit about the psychology of sales, why sales and selling is virtually part of every single thing we do, whether it's in business, whether it's in relationships, whether it's in parenting, whether it's even to ourself.. And I really hope you guys get a lot out of it. And like always, please follow us on Instagram, @youwinninglife. Subscribe to the show. We're available on all platforms. Share any of the episodes out to anybody you think would benefit from it. And of course, send me a hey, like, I'd love to connect with you. Love to know who you are out there that's listening to this show, and I'd love to connect with you personally. All right, everybody. So Today's episode is going to be super cool because I'm a big fan of the psychology behind things. And our expert guest today is Ari Galper, and he is the world's number one authority on trust-based selling. He is the CEO of Unlock the Game and Trusted Authority. You're going to hear much more about all of those wonderful things. But Ari, all the way from Australia, very far place from San Diego. How the heck did you end up there, first of all?
Thank you for asking. And I know I still have the accent. Americans don't lose their accent for some reason. I've been here for 18 years now. And my wife on a dating site back then, she's from Sydney, working in Los Angeles. We actually met in California, started dating. And she said, why don't you come visit my family in Australia? I was like, wow, it's pretty far, you know? And I said, okay, I'll give it a try. So came out here and just, we fell more in love. We had, we got engaged here and it was just an amazing place. And then We got married and then our plan was to basically live in LA, in Los Angeles, just kind of start my business there. And then we kind of, after we got married, we moved back there. Then we had a gift came into our life 6 months later, which is our son Toby. And after he was born, a couple of days, we were told that he had Down syndrome. And at first we didn't know what that meant to our lives. We realized we had a gift on our hands. And if you know anybody who has Down syndrome, you know, they're very, they're so beautiful. They're full of love. They have no hidden agenda. They're so transparent. They're just, they're who we all should become one day, you know, as a role model. And I took so much from him and I wrote a book about him called Lessons from Pelé, as you know, in the pack there. And so I decided that, we decided together that to give him more support, we move over here. My wife has 3, 2 sisters, lots of cousins within 5 miles of where we live, more of a family environment. I have a small home across the whole country, just more support. Packed up, moved over here, and been here now for 18 years.
That's incredible. And I don't know if you can pick it up through the microphone as you're talking, of course, about your son. There's an ice cream truck driving by, so I don't know if it's even coming through, through the microphone. So the perfect timing for like, who doesn't want ice cream? Especially if you're growing up on a beach town, right?
Either way.
But as far as me, I can only imagine. So you were how old when you made this decision to pick up first to go to Australia to start dating?
45. I'm 55 now. 45 years ago.
So you already had this—
30, 35, 20 years ago, almost 35 years old. Yeah. Okay.
And your life was established. So to make this move, and I know a lot of people, especially now, we're hopefully at the beginning of coming out of this pandemic, depending on where we are. Yeah. People are making a lot of life transition choices. Do I want to stay in the field I'm in? Do I want to get a new job? Do I even— do I even want to work for some people? Right. But whatever it is, there's a lot of psychological transitioning happening right now. What was it like for you to pick up and move your entire life across the ocean?
Well, for me, I did have a portable business. It was coaching, consulting around what I do, and it was online. So that was— that I could probably handle how to deal with that back then. Uh, you know, I had a small family, so not a lot of, a lot of deep ties there in terms of big system of family. And she had a bigger family here. Everything was leaning towards this. So it felt like a good decision. It wasn't like I had to debate it back and forth. I could always fly back and visit, family can come visit me. And it was exciting. And if you've been to Sydney, it's a beautiful city. Like, there's so many positive things that not to do it didn't make sense. So I took the shot. And so far, so good.
Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about Toby, right? This— I had the I traveled this weekend to do a conference and I brought the books with me knowing that, you know, I needed some time to prepare. And I'm— it's, it's so simple and so practical and so deep at the same time, right? It's 52 Life Lessons, Weekly Reminders to Keep Your Center— to Keep You Centered in Your Personal and Business Life. So number one, like, as these evolved, like, were you writing them down? I know you sent out a massive email. Walk us through, because a lot of times people have these brilliant ideas and have no clue that can actually be so profound. When they're going through the experience versus just sharing it with the world. So what was that process like for you?
Sure.
Packaging that, sharing it with the world, and then being like, oh, this is great, I want to make this into a book.
Yeah. So I had a small database back then of maybe 500 or 400 people following my work at the time. And I wrote the article on my blog that was a couple pages long about him and his 4th birthday party, I think it was, observing him with the other kids, how quote, normal. He was with them, he's blending in with them, and they were— he was having a great time. They're all playing together. And that's— I was sitting there saying, taking some notes, saying, what have I learned from him so far about the way he views the world and the way he is? I took some notes about being centered, being present, um, not having hidden agenda with people, how to be okay with yourself but also let go of your own goal and communication. And so then I sent this blog article on email to my small list, and within a couple days I got tons of responses back of people saying, wow, that really made a difference for me today, and here are my thoughts about this. And I basically printed out all their comments, and I took their comments, rewrote them into a little quote, one per day for the whole year, that all my clients have next to their bed now. Every morning, review one quote. That is a way to center yourself and ground yourself in a world of chaos right now, you know, in a way where you can be centered and authentic to yourself, because that's the way he is all the time. Here we are, have to help, we have to help each other get there. He's already there. So how can we get there quicker? So I wrote this book, and that's made a big difference for people.
Well, it's one of the common other conversations I had with your buddy David Meltzer, where mindfulness has worked its way into the entrepreneur world and coaching. And we actually talked about therapy and why it's so important, right? Everybody's doing coaching. But what about therapy? What about the deeper stuff? And one of the things I always talk about with my clients is who's the model? They don't have to be an expert proclaimed out into the world, but who's modeling exactly what you want so you can mirror it just by being— whether it's watching them on YouTube, listening to their podcast, or someone you actually know. And it's so cool that this is what's come out from your, from your own child. When most people need to search for it, it's right there.
Yes, definitely. That was a gift that I can't— my love, and I had to capture and document that for generations to come.
Yeah. What's his thoughts on the power of this?
His thoughts? So he's 18. He'll be 18 already in December, which is hard to believe. He's a basketball player. He's mainstream. He's doing great. And yeah, he's proud of it. He says, I'm famous. I'm famous. Yeah, you are famous. It's cute.
Powerful influence on people's lives on a day-to-day basis, which is super cool. So when I scheduled this time for you, within about a week or two, I got this beautiful package and I get like, you know, a book or someone will send me like a PDF download. I got a beautiful box of stuff. So I opened that up. I'm like, all right, this is, first of all, where's this coming from? And second of all, like, what's going on here? And it was loaded with just like this beautifully printed, colorful, you have this video thing that you plug in. Like, so walk us through, like, This is part of the whole relationship that you're trying to create, right? So describe, you know, to those who have no clue, because a lot of them are going to be listening to this on audio and I have it sitting next to me. But these 3 books were sitting here. There was a whole bunch of other flyers. Walk me through the idea behind creating it and what someone who's partnering with you is going to get and how this could be a model for what other people need to be doing in their business.
Exactly. So we— that's called our Trust Box. And we teach trust, especially trust in business and how to generate clients with trust. This doesn't mean you being trustworthy. This is about transferring trust consciously so they— the other person can lower their guard. And when they begin to engage with you, the focus isn't you anymore. It's about them. And that's the switch that I realized that I can basically, when I meet people who wanna work with me or talk with me, if I can send them my box in advance of our conversation, it really sets the tone about what we're gonna talk about. 'Cause without that box, the way the conversation go are kind of like this, "Oh, how's it going? Nice to meet you. So what do you do? Well, what do you do?" And you're like, "Do you have the next couple of weeks?" Yeah, rather than have that taken care of in the box. So when we get in the phone call together, it's not about me anymore. Now this is different to the interview, but it's in a sales process, it's about them and about their problem. Like, you're the doctor, they're the patient. Doctors don't say, hey, how's it going? How's the weather? They don't work on relationship building, doctors. They focus on the problem and say, where does it hurt? So by doing the Trust Box process, that allows me and my clients when they have a potential client prospect and their first call with them to reframe the conversation. So isn't a relationship building call anymore. It's a diagnostic conversation about the problem. Yeah.
And I think that's one of the things that they don't teach. And I'm going to come just from my vantage point as having gone to graduate school. There was no entrepreneurship. I graduated in 2005. There was no talk about building a private practice, uh, beyond having a full caseload. That's what a success meant. Like, they didn't talk about setting fees, they didn't talk about boundaries and contracts. I mean, they had the basic ethical stuff and everything you have to do for your CEUs. And I remember sitting on a panel, uh, for one of our local association organizations, and it was on a private practice panel. And I remember how everybody was talking about the six-figure private practice. That meant, oh my God, I'm making $100,000 as a therapist. And I'm like, this was right after I started my entrepreneurship journey and started bringing coaches into my life and all those other things. And I'm like, but if your practice is making $100,000, that means on your taxes you're probably showing $30,000, $40,000, $50,000 after your write-offs. That's gross, right? Right, right. It is gross. So, yeah, right.
How—
right now in today's economy, you can't live with that in a healthy, you can't have healthy food, you can't have the right practitioners in your life to help you get unstuck. You can't, right? You can't take care of yourself while you're trying to take care of other people at a higher level than what you're doing for yourself. So I started debunking this, and that's what's led me further into this whole other process of like, I grew up in a family furniture business, third generation, that my grandfather started after the Holocaust. And I'm the only child not in it, because I got turned off by this salesy, money, right? The outcome is just get a Lambo and a Ferrari. I live in Miami, right? And glitz and glamour, but no relationship, no value, no all those things. And when I started developing this journey with the right people, it started changing that around. So let's unpack a little bit of that psychology for you of mastering this, right? It's, it's trust-based. You said it's like, let's find the problem, let's find within the communication of that. Yeah.
Look, what, what, what, what has changed since COVID and everything else last couple years is the skepticism and the distrust of other people, right? And you have to recognize that in your business, if you are conditioned to sell a certain way in terms of you doing what I call free consulting, free education, Giving stuff away, relationship building, rubbing shoulders, that old— all that, all that stuff.
Network.
No longer connects anymore because one, they don't want information. Two, they don't want to become your friend. We know it's fake anyways.
Yeah.
So you got to strip everything out of your process right now that feels like it's selling. And you have to say, what can I do instead to build a roadmap here and to allow them to trust me instantly without me having to chase them afterwards. Because that's the problem, is that we, we give our best to a potential client and they always say at the end, this has been great, let me think about this, right? Talk to my husband about this first. Oh, this has been so enlightening for me, thank you so much. No, let me digest this if you wouldn't mind, because it's been really insightful, thank you. And then we end up going, what just happened, right? Am I a nonprofit? Maybe you are, which is okay. But see, in a professional practice or a business, your job is to solve their— is for them to pay to solve their problem. So you have to engineer— I'll use that word— a process where they trust you authentically from the beginning, that you're someone they can, they can trust, that you'll take care of them, and they're willing to pay for it. It's almost like, think about the doctor model, and I use that metaphor a lot. Right, to see a doctor, what do you have to do? First, you have to schedule an appointment, and you, on your calendar, you set an extra half an hour in case traffic, or maybe he's late. Now, you don't bill him for his time, do you? You would know this. You don't know. You just, you just go and you wait in the office and they're late and you don't invoice them. You're just waiting. You're like, what the— and you show up and he says, where does it hurt? Right, and then he analyzes the problem. There's an x-ray and say, here's the issue, and he prescribes a solution. And you walk out the door. Before you go to your car, you go to one more place. You pay, you pay the bill. But is that your problem's not solved yet? Only the clarity of the problem has been completed. So this is very much the metaphor we teach people is how to architect and build trust with someone in a way where they just feel all out. Yeah, they'll pay you to solve your problem.
Well, in therapy, we would call that the treatment plan, right? It's here's the roadmap, which I know is the word that you use to say, here's over these next number of weeks, here's what we're going to identify. Here's what we're going to work on. Here's what I expect of you.
Yes.
And I've changed my whole paradigm and it's right on my homepage of my website. Um, uh, cause I see, right, people call around, they're shopping around for prices. I know you have that famous story of when you did that sales call and you were on mute and you heard what they said, like, we're not going to use this guy. And right. And right. And it's kind of like, you can't, we can't necessarily always think What they're thinking. So we have to figure out how can we handle their objections, which is also that classic sales training in a way before that even comes up, but also building, like you said, that trust and that rapport. And I, I feel like there's developmental stages and I'm wondering if what you're really trying to do is to skip a few of those developmental stages that can actually harm you, even though you know that those are, like you said, the classical '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s the greatest hits of our sales tactics, you know, of the Zig Ziglar stuff and all the other stuff of handling the objections and creating the story and the narrative, which I feel was like level 1 for me to learn all those things. But my fear was always, how do I still come across as I'm caring and compassionate? How do people out there not just look like they're going for the sale? And now that I'm unpackaging it, and seems like I'm very much in line with what you're sharing, which is I want to hear about your problem first before we even talk about the price, because I may not be the right person. And if I'm not the right person, correct, I want to be damn sure I give you the best referrals possible.
Yeah.
So you can get to the right person, because it doesn't matter whether I take your insurance or not, which I don't. And it doesn't matter whether my fee is X, Y, and Z, because if you've already tried this with 14 other therapists and I'm an expert in this, then my price maybe doesn't matter.
Right. Yeah. The, the What, what we have done is figure out a unique way to eliminate resistance from hello.
From hello, because the next question would be, let me tell you about why I'm calling usually, or it's immediately goes into sales mode.
Usually it's, if you're talking about traditional prospecting, it goes like this. Hi, my name is, I'm with. "We are a, do you have a couple minutes? How are you today?" And the minute you hear that, it's over at hello, isn't it?
Yeah.
You're like, "Oh." Right.
Or if you see the phone number automatically.
It's over. It is over at hello. And so we have built our whole body of work around this and what we call trust-based languaging. Phraseology that replaces sales scripts altogether. It's authentic, natural, and inspires the truth. Let me give you an example.
Please.
Let's say you're having a call with somebody over the phone, a potential new client, and it's a great conversation. Could be a really good fit. Chemistry is good. Call comes to a close. Usually in sales, we're taught to move things forward after that, right? How about we schedule a time? How about we have a cup of coffee? How about we move things forward?
It's hedging. It's hedging language.
We're conditioned. We sense opportunity. To move it towards the sale. But what could happen if you attempt to move somebody forward at that stage of the game and they aren't ready yet? What do you break with them right there? You break trust. So same scenario, call comes to a close, our mindset, our languaging, rather than saying, hey, how about we— what we say instead is this, we say, where 'Where do you think we should go from here?' Right, put it back on them. And when you say to somebody, 'Where do you think we should go from here?' just like that, they're usually in a state of shock, like, 'What? He's asking me what I want to do? This is unheard of.' I know they're so used to being pulled down this sort of archaic process, which they know was happening. And they're holding back from you the entire time. And you never get to the truth.
Yeah. And they're going to give you everything you need to hear in order to solve the next—
the breadcrumbs. So they'll give you the breadcrumbs for you to— and to give you this sense of what I call hopium, this drug in our bodies where you kind of hope it's gonna work. Oh, is that— hey, it's looking good. Like the hopium drug, I call it, where we kind of excited because we can sense there's something here. And our system goes, move them forward. Oh my God. You gotta detox from hopium is what I tell my clients.
Yeah. Do you find that people are not playing the really long game? Like if I meet someone now and yes, we all need in the business world, we obviously want to prove that we can, you know, sales and closing, and we might have numbers we have to meet. But people don't look at like a year or 2 years, 3 years, 4 years out as that person having that initial contact with you, having that initial conversation with you, and then it developing over 2, 3, 4 years before they actually do invest on a deeper level.
So what, what, what are you saying?
So do you feel like people are missing out and they're being too short-sighted and they're not saying like, you know what, like, I know I want this, right? We're in the sales at some level. But what would it be okay if it happens in 4 years from now? In other words, like, you really build that longer-term relationship because I know there's someone I met at a conference a few years ago. We kept in touch and this was before my podcast, but I'm like, hey, it's like just randomly. I wasn't even thinking about them becoming a client, but would be in touch. And then at a certain point, like, hey, I fired my coach. I'm ready to start working with you.
And there is a place for nurturing long-term. That's called market nurturing and marketing. People you know, you keep in touch, and then hopefully they pop up every once in a while, right? But you can't make a living doing that, waiting for them to pop up. You can't scale, you can't grow a business, and you can't forecast that. I hope people pop up this month. That's never going to work, right? So, and it just so happens I'm working on a new book next year called The One Call Sale. How to compress your sales cycle from years and multiple steps into one single conversation where at the end it's a yes or no without pressure at all, and you disengage if it's a no. You don't keep chasing them, chasing ghosts, hoping they might call you back. Good luck with that one, right?
Right. But they know you exist, and if they do make that decision, you're there.
But I wouldn't count on it.
Right.
Because the world's become commoditized. There are plenty of other people they can go to. They can't experience your uniqueness or differentiation until when? Until after they're a client, not before. So how would they ever— why would they call you back as if like, he's so special? How would they know that until they actually use your services? Yeah.
Right, they want proof of concept actually happening.
So, and they can't— that's the challenge here is that, see, we think that our value is so strong, which I'm sure it is, that we're trying to help people see that we are— I can help you, can't you see that? We get so frustrated, don't we? Like, ah, yeah. The challenge with that is they view you as a commodity. They can get someone else. They can go online, type in psychologist in Florida, and probably find 25 people they can call. What I'm trying to say is the world has become so commoditized that we think that we're unique, which you— we all are, but from their perspective, it's apples to apples. The question is for you, how do you flip the equation so they see you as what I call a trusted authority? And that's what we uniquely teach to people.
Incredible. So let's take it to more of a macro, because not everybody listening to this podcast will be in sales or in business, but to the day-to-day practicality of life. And everything we do is a sale, whether it's dating, parenting, what food we want to buy, right? You still have to negotiate all of those things. And how— let's, let's make it really macro and apply to those situations. So how can someone learn these, this new perspective and how would it play out, let's say, in a dating situation or a relationship or a parenting situation? I'm sure you've had to figure this out.
Well, I'll tell you something recently, a couple of years ago, I spoke at a large event, about 1,000 people. At the end of my talk, someone ran down the aisle, through the crowd to the stage, up on, jumped on, like, whoa. Yeah. I was like, how can I help you, sir? I said, do you have your own business? He goes, no. I said, are you in sales? He goes, no. I go, why are you interested in talking to me? He says, because I have a teenage son. I said, really? What's going on? Well, I heard your message and I think you might be able to help me. Here's the problem. He got a new car, he got his license. He comes home late now every night past curfew. We had a rule. He breaks it. He walks in the front door to the garage. He's got his ear pods on, goes right past me. He and I cannot connect at all. Two ships in the night passing each other. I'm sure if you have teenage kids, you know what I'm talking about. So, and I want to absorb everything you have, whatever you have on Abaya, because I need to learn how to build trust with my own son. Like, holy moly, wow. It's hitting me like a ton of bricks. So we took him on board, we worked with him, and he came back to us, said, "Ari, let me tell you what happened." I said, "What's that?" "One night he came home, he came past curfew and I took a deep breath." I took your mindset and language and I said this to him. I said, "Son, would you be open to the possibility of us working together to solve this problem of you coming home late every night? Would you be open to that?" He does this to his son. Yeah. And his son goes, "Are you on drugs, Dad? What are you smoking? What do you drink? What is wrong with you?" He's not used to being communicating with in this way.
Yeah.
He's just being told what to do. See? And that melted the ice and they solved the problem together. And now his son's learning from us. Learning how to communicate as an adult and to build trust with other people, to understand that you have to let go of your own agenda and think about the way to communicate with them, to connect with them on a deep level.
Yeah. I just had this conversation yesterday with one of my couples and they were just digging at each other. And I'm like, guys, like, stop being judge, jury, and executioner with every interaction. If you started coming from a place of an investigative, curious right? Like an investigative reporter. Tell me about this. What's going on? When? What did I just walk into? Is now the right time? Right? A lot of those, like, gentle hedging scenarios, you're going to get a lot more data and you're going to be received in a very different way.
Yeah. I recently had someone give me a call out of the blue after 20 years doing this business. He says to me, Ari, you saved my marriage. I go, what? Well, we're on the verge of divorce, my wife and I, and I got a hold of your stuff and did some coaching with your people, and I realized what I've been doing this whole time is putting my agenda first. And I learned to detach from that and use your languaging, and for the first time, my wife is hearing me, we're communicating, and now we're back together again. We're on the verge of ending it because we could not connect together. And a lot of what I teach, of course, is trust-based communication. But of course, it's, it's narrowed down to sales and making money and successfully doing this in an integrity-based way to understand the psychology of the world has changed. And you can no longer take your definition of what you believe selling is and plop it on top of the world right now. Doesn't work. Yeah.
Yeah, so that depth, that connection, that integrity— I love that word, and I think it gets tossed around too much these days, but it's, it's spot on with the way you're using it. It's like you really can allow yourself to shine through, but you really allow what the other person wants to shine through.
And you can be authentic and be yourself, but you cannot put your needs first.
So if that does not, you know, everybody who's listening, regardless of where you are in your life, and this is right where we're, we're a selfish world right now. And, and that's the debate with what's our, you know, am I responsible for you? Are you responsible to protect me? All of these things is very much wrapped up into today's culture. And there's a big debate around that. Like where, where does our responsibility begin and end and what, to what extent and to what depth and to what intensity and It's so interesting because I really do believe like this is, you know, if I were to give your title, you know, another book is like, how to not be a douchebag in sales, right? How to not come across like everybody else. And I think that was like what I grew up with. And I had a breakthrough in my own process and my own therapy of like, I don't want to turn into one of these people, but I know I want a radically successful business. And as I've learned more about this, both my personal and my professional life, has changed in radical ways. In other words, I'm getting in front of people like you and, and other people who— I wouldn't be able to do that if I didn't understand that everything is sales, even if there's no money exchange, but I'm being honored with your time.
Everything is connecting. The question is, do you do it deeply or the surface level?
Yeah. So is there one kind of thought that maybe You know, if you can kind of share your— I call it my on one foot question, that it's this one nugget of advice, one, one insight, one, one value, one teaching, that if you had 30 seconds with a person and you were never to see them again. I know it's a curveball.
I would say stop selling yourself and your services altogether and instead be the doctor diagnose their problem and get paid to prescribe the solution.
Yeah.
Yeah. All right. Stop doing free, free education or free consulting.
Right. Right. What would that look like? I mean, how would people— how can people identify and self-diagnose that for themselves? Like, because self-awareness goes a long way and a lot of people aren't as self-aware as maybe they say they are. What would be the first thing for them to catch themselves on that to say, like, am I doing that? And do I need to pivot?
They need to be aware of themselves prematurely talking about themselves and their solution before the patient owns the problem. It's like the therapist and the patient. If the patient doesn't own the problem, they're the worst patients in the world. And you know that because that's what you do. My dad was a psychologist as well. I know this. It's the same thing in business. If the prospect you're talking to does not own their problem in a deep way, you don't help them own it and amplify the impact around it. You don't ask. And here's the key question you want to ask. Here's a profound definitive question that changes everything. Here it is. I'll leave you with this. Is this a priority for you?
Mm-hmm.
Solve once and for all, or is this something you're happy to live with and deal with the consequences later? And I'm okay either way.
Yeah, yeah, takes full accountability and responsibility on their lap to invest and put that time effort.
Because the next step is, if they say it's a priority, then they're going to say, how can you help me?
Agreed, agreed.
That you must go through that process first before you talk about yourself.
Yeah, powerful, ladies and gentlemen.
Microphone, right?
Exactly. Check out Ari's website. It is unlockthegame.com. He's got some awesome books, Unlock the Sales Game, Lessons with Toby, which is the 52 life lessons. It's a journal, The Trusted Authority. He's coming out with his new book, The One Call Sale. That's coming out. There's some incredible stuff. There's a ton of YouTube videos on you out there. So if you want a little bit more or a lot more, it's there. There's some incredible stuff on his website as well. Ari, thank you so much.
It's a pleasure. And if anybody wants to reach out to me, I'm very accessible via LinkedIn. Just connect with me there, say hello. I do a show there once a month called Stump the Guru where you can jump in live and bring me your toughest sales challenges and I'll, I'll answer them for you live for free on that show as well. So just say hello to me and connect. Let us know that we met here.
Yeah, please. And I would love to hear if anybody does that and they get through, give us some feedback. I would love to hear. How that goes. I love to hear this connection because I love when I hear— I have— so one of my friends just got off a call with one of the coaches on meditation, a meditation expert, and they now started working with them through my podcast. And I'm like, well, can you give me more updates besides like the once every few months that you work with them and what's happening and how that's— because that makes me so happy that they met through a random podcast episode. So please reach out to me as well and let me know if you do do that. So Ari, again, thank you so much. And Looking forward to hopefully connecting again soon. Sounds good.
Thanks for listening to the You Winning Life podcast. If you are ready to minimize your personal and professional struggles and maximize your potential, we would love it if you subscribe so you don't miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook at You Winning Life.
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