Ep. 15-Josh Brazier: How Humanitarian Therapy, Mentorship and Non-Profits Can Heal The World

This is the You Winning Life podcast, your number one source for mastering a positive existence.

Each episode, we'll be interviewing exceptional people, giving you empowering insights and guiding you to extraordinary outcomes.

Learn from specialists in the worlds of integrative and natural wellness, spirituality, psychology, and entrepreneurship so you too can be winning life. Now here's your host, licensed marriage and family therapist, certified neuro-emotional technique practitioner, trainer and certified entrepreneur coach, Jason Wasser.

Welcome back to the You Winning Life podcast. I'm Jason Wasser. Today's guest is Josh Brazier, who's a Los Angeles native who enjoys the ocean, travel, and mentoring. His mentoring practice keeps him on his toes. His nonprofit keeps him focused on what's important, and his startups keep him stressed and creative. Josh has been traveling the world alongside friends, families, and those he mentors for over a decade. During this time, he's been creating unique and effective programs that help the world's most vulnerable children, orphans. At the same time, he's been providing humanitarian therapy to those he connects with to support that population. From that, he created a nonprofit, Kaizen Foundation, that has creatively taught and mentored thousands of young volunteers in the art of serving, has helped those volunteers better the lives of hundreds of children that this organization serves in various countries around the world. These efforts continue to expand both for the orphans and those in need, as well as the volunteers that he connects with them. He created an industry first, a humanitarian therapy program at the Telus Residential Treatment Center. With residential programs, serves youth with depression, anxiety, opposition, and a myriad of other issues. And he mentors hundreds of boys in this program while traveling and serving alongside them. He helps the boys in the program gain a broader perspective, learn to relate with others, and expand their compassion through humanitarian efforts. Many times these boys will report back to Josh that these experiences have had the most profound effect on them. Josh, it's really, really, really an incredible honor to welcome you to the show.

Thanks for having me.

My pleasure to have you. Thank you so much. So, so let's start with your backstory and what's influenced you along the way to become who you are today.

It's, it's a good question. I think growing up in Southern California has its own influence, right? Spent every summer and waking moment pretty much at the beach and had a kind of a laid-back upbringing where I didn't have a lot of stress. So I definitely could say that I guess the best way to describe it is it gave me opportunity to think about different things. I wasn't really worried about a lot of other things. But in terms of my background and the things that really influenced me is I got to serve in a refugee camp when I was 19 years old in Morocco, dealing with like Western Africans that were coming up from places like Nigeria, Ghana, places like that. And I was just, like I said, a 19-year-old kind of spoiled California kid, and all of a sudden I'm placed in this Moroccan refugee camp and trying to help some people and trying to give them advice and trying to help their lives move forward. And I just kind of had to grow up really fast, right? Dealing with a lot of issues that maybe you only heard about on the news or maybe you only kind of like thought were, could be real, but hearing stories of people crossing deserts, seeing friends die, having to drink their own urine to survive, women being raped, abuse in order to kind of, or, you know, having to make some really big life choices or, you know, kind of compromises in order to be safe. And, you know, all these different things, a 19-year-old just kind of really woke me up really, really quickly. So that was a really heavy experience that I had pretty early on in my life. And then I guess the only other thing that I would say that I thought about that I had two amazing grandmas, like I actually had three, the one that I didn't know too well passed away when I was pretty young. But I had two grandmas that were world travelers, big thinkers, and expected a lot from me. And I think that kind of took me under their wing in terms of just kind of showing me what's most important in life, and that's helping other people and also finding your passion, dedicating yourself to it, and just going all for it. And so I just kind of had— I grew up around that, I guess. I had parents that were very entrepreneurial. I had friends and family that just kind of expected a lot from me. And we'll get into that, how that turned into a negative and, you know, turned into a positive, things like that. But, um, those are some pretty big influences on me.

That's amazing. So family, being young, and being exposed to this world experience that the average person, especially an average American, doesn't have, really started to shape this, this, this mission for you?

Absolutely. Yeah. No, it really, it really brought some focus in, right? Like, so when I was in Africa, I was there for over 8 months and I had to deal with a lot of issues and think through some things where like, okay, how am I being effective? How am I helping actually? How am I, yeah, how am I like kind of being, how am I showing up with these people? Am I just being like, hey, I'm gonna try to help you? Am I only gonna be here for a short-term period? Like how do I make it so I'm actually helping you out? Like not just kind of writing home and saying I'm doing great things and taking great pictures and things like that. So it was a, there were a lot issues really quickly that came up that I had to really think through quickly and see what I thought about them and see if I wanted to continue on. So, yeah. I can't hear you now, Jason. Sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. Gotcha.

Can you hear me?

Okay. I can hear you now. Sorry about that. Okay.

No worries.

Yeah.

So, as you got older, you realized that mentoring and volunteering was an important theme for you personally and also to inspire others. How did that come out for you, uh, as your passion and your purpose?

Yeah, so interestingly enough, like, I, I had some experiences at that, at that refugee camp where we worked super hard with these people for like 6 months. I created friendships I didn't know I could actually create, like, with people that were older than me. And, you know, I was there delivering a baby, like, doing all these different things I didn't think I'd ever be doing when I was 19 years old. All those people, there was rumors around the camp that they were going to close it down, that the EU, there wasn't really the runway anymore in the EU to be able to accept refugees and things like that. So there was always these rumors. Then one day when I was getting on a boat, I saw all my friends just in handcuffs basically on my luggage in the luggage compartments, and I convinced the police to let me go and talk with them. I had 5 minutes with them to express to them my love and things like that, and everything that I'd worked hard for. Just went away. I got escorted after 5 minutes up to my first-class seat where they give you your little orange juice and your ocean view as you're crossing the Strait of Gibraltar, things like that. I just had to say, "Okay, this thing that I just loved and worked for super hard just got ripped away from me. What do I do?" So I just made a small, simple promise to myself that I would do something in their honor one day. I didn't know what that was, but when I was up in school, after the tsunami in 2004, I just kind of— me and my friends just kind of heard over and over again, "Hey, like, we'd love to do something. What could we do? What could we do?" And we finally just said, "Hey, like, why don't we do something?" And so we just started some benefit concerts. Lots of people showed up to that and said, "Hey, like, what else are you guys doing?" That was kind of a sign to us that there is some momentum behind this. And so a couple of friends and I jumped in the car and went down to a place where I'd surf and Baja as a kid, knew that there was a safe beach to camp on. We checked out some orphanages in the area, had a chance to just— went to one orphanage out of the 5 on the list, the first one, fell in love with the kids, stayed there for 5 or 6 hours, and came back to Utah where I was going to school at the time and just sent out a small text message. Granted, this is 2005 when there wasn't really— the technology isn't what we have right now, but just literally had 63 people show up at my little 700-square-foot apartment. And then our first trip in May of 2005, we had those same— everybody who came to that meeting came on the trip. And so we just knew that we had something there. And then the next trip came and the next trip came and those were filling. And then we added other orphanages and then all of a sudden we wanted more countries and it just kind of snowballed from there. But what we really tapped into is that we didn't feel that volunteering was something you had to do when you were retired, when you were older, you had money or anything like that, but youth and creativity and that energy could make a huge difference now. It was just something that we really felt that we just saw the door opening. It was just wide open and clear that this is— Volunteering was something that people really wanted to get involved in and that they just needed some help organizing it.

Yeah. Jason Wasser: One of my favorite teachings is from one of my mentors, Dr. Scott Walker, who created Neuro Emotional Technique, which you've seen demonstrate live. And one of his teachings is the universe rewards the action step.

Yeah.

And I know with everything going on in the world, whenever there's some type of crisis or something negative, people are all about, you know, prayers, hopes and prayers and wishes.

Yeah, right.

But the action step, which sometimes sounds like a very extreme to demonstrate, you know, to protest against something, is not necessarily going all the way in on something, you're just working against something. But you decided that you wanted to organize and then do something in a very positive way. Talk to me a little bit about your mindset of what's it like to try to reach out to people, especially when you're talking about pre-technology. Now, as we advance into the technological era and you using that, but at that time, right, 2004-ish, to just try to get people together and the mindset of doing an action step, not just getting them to your apartment, but then getting them on a plane to go to a foreign country, right? What was that like?

Well, you know, it was, it was interesting. Like, uh, uh, it was a lot of making flyers, right, and putting them on cars and knocking on apartment doors and putting flyers in apartment doors. We'd throw benefit concerts, like we were saying. My friend Josh, he was one of my co-founders, and, um, and with Kaizen, uh, you know, he had a great knack of finding bands and getting them to kind of agree to play for free. And so we'd have these things and we'd gather these email lists, and this was before MailChimp and all these great things. And so we'd like have to send out these I think I was still sending it from my Hotmail account or Gmail was just coming out. There was a real lack of technology. We didn't fly, right? So we road tripped from Utah. Our first trip probably had a caravan of 17 or 18 cars just road tripping down the 800 miles. My van broke down on the first trip. I mean, the first trip was really literally like hell in terms of we had a blast, but everything that could go wrong went wrong on that trip. Surfboards got ran over by a volunteer. My van broke down and my friend ran over a fire hydrant with my van. And you know, it was just like, I mean, like anything, but it was like, it was like refiner's fire, right? It was just like, kind of like, okay, like if you're going to want to do this, then like, I'm going to need to teach you. And that's what I really felt like in that first trip. I really like saw everything that could go wrong. And so then it really helped me like, okay, for the next trip, I need to put these contingencies in place and I need to have this plan in place. I need to know these, you know, X, Y, and Z. And I have to think through these things. And as a 24-year-old at the time, I've never done anything like this before. And so it was just really kind of like having a yellow legal pad. I mean, this is the time before iPads and many laptops, you know, like I just on my parents' yellow legal pad, just like, okay, this is what I got to do here. That's what I got to do here. And, you know, just kind of just going through it. So you just found your way through. So, yeah.

So using all these, these step-by-step refining experience, did you also find something as you were going through your own self-development right outside of, or in addition to doing what you wanted to do to help make the world a better place, what was that process like for you going on inside of you?

You know, the first trip, the first trip, the pre-trip that we took, um, you know, I, I, me and my friends, we camped out on the beach, we were having a bonfire, we just had brought some food and just were chilling after we had this experience with these kids. And it was like the first time at nighttime where I'm just like curled up in my sleeping bag in the, in the tent and just like, you know, having some shedding, some tears because I didn't I never really interacted with kids that didn't have what I had growing up. I grew up Mormon, and so I had a pretty big, strong family dynamic, and there's family reunions and cousins getting together all the time, and aunts and uncles that cared about me, and parents and grand— all this stuff. And I was like, oh wow, their worldview and my worldview is so different. And that really shaped how I created my, the programs with Kaizen and with these kids that we were working with is I realized really quickly that if I have these kids' trust, which we do, then I need to provide them with a baseline of kind of necessary experiences to have while growing up so that they could have like the best chance when they left the orphanage. And we'll get into that later on, I'm sure. But it's just like this idea that like, yeah, like what was going on inside of me at the time was like, Can I handle this? How am I going to deal with the trust and the relationship? Because we didn't want to be one of those nonprofits who just did like a one-touch and leave, like, "Hey, well, thanks for the Facebook photos," even though Facebook really wasn't even a thing back then in terms of what we were working on. But yeah, a lot of interesting things like, if I'm going to do this, how am I going to do this right? And how am I going to do this in a way that's going to be effective? And that was going on a lot with me.

So from that point forward, You created a nonprofit and you started coaching through this process, right?

Yeah. And the coach— oh, sorry, go ahead. Yeah. Well, the coaching was very informal. Like what started to happen was we started to get more and more people on our trips and younger people, high schoolers, middle schoolers starting to attend. And then I would get a random phone call from a mom who had our numbers and said like, hey, like my son really connected with you on this trip. He's struggling a lot. I'll pay for you guys to go to dinner, but could you just kind of figure out what's going on with them? And so for a long time I was running Kaizen and then at the same time, just kind of doing this informal mentoring where people who were coming on the trips would be inspired by my story and the story of our co-founders or whatever. And then they would kind of approach us and say, "Hey, I'm kind of struggling here and there. What advice do you have for me?" So a lot of grabbing a Jamba Juice and walking around campus or just grabbing some dinner and informally mentoring some people, but it wasn't until I started to associate myself with treatment centers in Utah that I started to understand more like the principles of mentoring and all those different things where I could then create like a kind of a more formalized program of like, okay, I can use what I'm doing with Kaizen, which was then traveling upwards of a dozen times a year to different countries and take kids that are struggling and give them an opportunity to get away from what they're struggling with, see some cool things, work alongside some amazing kids, and then I would have them in this vulnerable place to then be able to let them know what I felt was important about life and what this experience should mean to them. And then also give them a space, like I was saying, to open up and sort through some of the things that they were dealing with at the time. So that was the basis of it. It was very informal, very informal.

So when you talk about these specific things that you wanted to give them to create a platform, for their personal success, for that baseline that you said, like, right, you grew up around a really powerful family that supported you and nurtured you, which is, you know, one of the most beautiful things about your background. What are the things that you wanted to give them? Like, where would you say, like, if I can give them these 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 foundations, I know that they'll have a successful life. What were some of those things?

I think the basis, like the formula that I was working with at the time was just deliberate practice creates a sense of accomplishment, which just creates hope, right? That was my formula at the time, right? And so for a lot of it that I was working with was just like, hey, I'm noticing that kids are listless and they're not kind of, they're getting disinvolved because they just need meaning in their life. Like we all, like, you know, from every book that's out there, whether it's Viktor Frankl or whatever, like we just need We need something that gives meaning to their lives. And so that's the biggest thing is for them to kind of find, even though that will change many times in anybody's lifetime, to say, okay, like at this point in time, what does bring meaning to your life? What does excite you? Can we deliberately practice that for enough time to actually let the sense of accomplishment sink in and validate you and kind of bring you to a place where more opportunities, more ideas, more mentors and people will come along. And then that just gives a life of hope. I mean, it was that simple. I don't know if I have like 6 or 7 things, but that's kind of like what I was working with at the time was just like, that's what worked for me. I knew what I wanted. I practiced it super hard. It validated me in a way that showed me that there was other opportunities, other ways for me to develop as a person or meeting people or having these experiences. And that just made me wake up in the morning and have purpose, but I also went to bed feeling incredibly good every single night. And that became my benchmark for saying, did I do something good today? That's my thing. When I put my head on my pillow every night, that's the question I ask, did I do something good today? And that's what we work with people. And so just then helping them sort through, because we all get stuck with our cognitive distortions and all these different things are going on our head of like, hey, you aren't your thoughts right now, but you can create a better life by changing your by changing your thoughts and by changing, realizing that you're not your thoughts and your emotions, but you can deal with what's going on in your head and actually be in charge of that. And that will create opportunity in life, opportunities in life for you. And then like you were saying earlier, once you make that decision, I'm just so impressed with the universe in terms of just doors opening up and random things happening where it's just like, hey, the world wants you to live your best life. And if you can just see it and you can have that attitude, you'll see there's a lot going on around you that kind of like comes up and says, "Yeah, please keep going, keep going." So yeah.

It's really interesting as you're talking about these kids, these teenagers, reflecting back on my own origin story of going through what I went through when I was younger, even though I grew up here in South Florida and I had a lot of good things that were happening, I also went through a lot of family conflict. And the one thing that I always was looking for, especially in a mentor or a guide was, do you get me?

Right?

And I think knowing, having gotten to know you over the last couple years and vice versa is that we both believe that if we allow the people that we're working with to know that we get them as a starting point, that they're not necessarily the problem. They might be brought there by a family member, right? As the identified client or patient. But when we can cut through that and say, listen, We want to understand you. We want to get what you want to get out of this life. And a lot of times, like, I'll join with one of the kids and say like, yeah, school does suck, right? Sometimes your parents do suck. They're not perfect either, right? What is it that you want? What is it, you know, when I started asking these to my clients, like even 12, 13 years old, what do you think your purpose is? And not what job do you want to do? What do you think your purpose is? And their eyes start lighting up because no one's really asking them that. They're like, well, what do you want to go to school for? And where do you want to go to school?

Exactly.

And I think when you are doing that specifically in your programs and in your coaching and mentoring, we're getting to see them as a whole person, not just as a product.

Yeah, exactly. And I think, like you said, it lights a kid up to know that they're being— I mean, I had people from a very early age take me under their wing, whether it was like my grandmas and my grandpas from from that time. But I think my parents were really cool in the sense that they realized that they were going to be able to influence me to a degree, but my teenage years were going to be tumultuous. They're going to be hellacious. They allowed other people, which is really hard for a parent to do because if you're personalizing things and all these different things that could happen, that my parents let other people have influence on me. I think that was really, really important. I had businessmen who were CFOs and CEOs of big companies in LA who, through connections, would invite me to their house and have breakfast in the morning and put me to work during the summers and just different things like that. They just said, "Josh, I'm not going to let you live a mediocre life." I think even though I do have some fun with mediocrity, I think sometimes it's a really great way to live life in terms of just like, okay, I just want to live mediocre so I can always just I can always do a little bit better anyway, but that's, that's a whole side subject. But, but for me, it's just like, yeah, people just wouldn't let me not live. And like you were saying, like live well. And like what you were just saying is that when you, when you say that to a kid, when you create that space with the kid and say, okay, like let's forget all the problems. What are the— you're doing drugs, you're doing, you're getting horrible grades, you're fighting with parents, but like, what is it that you want? Like just create that space for them to say, okay, like what, what, what, what would you do if you had a blank sheet of paper? And how would you change the situation? And I'll help you get there. And when they hear and they really trust that that's going to happen, then I see a lot of success. Sometimes it takes years, but at the same time, like sometimes it happens really quickly.

I think that asking the question in a way that no one else has asked them before really is a profound shift. And one of the questions I started asking all my clients, especially if I'm doing any of the coaching with them, whether it's professionally, business, or personal, is if I were to write you a $200,000 $200,000 check right now, and your personal life stuff was taken care of, right? Whatever that level of living you're at is not going to change. But we can use that money directly to you creating something, not that you're going to buy a lottery ticket and you'll, you know, you buy $200,000 worth of lottery tickets, right? Put it towards creating something. What would that be?

Yeah.

The silence I get, because no one's— we're usually like, what's with the resources I have? Right now to create something, or who's going to want to invest in me, or who's going to want to buy into something, a mission that I believe in. And I think one of the cool things that you've done is that by— great, you've created a nonprofit, which means that you have to get outside funding, right?

And I suck at that, by the way. Like, I, you know, asking for money has been the hardest thing that I've— that, you know, it requires a lot of you, but keep going. Sorry.

No, no, but I completely agree with where you're coming from, because we're not ready to ask for something means that we can't build it ourselves, or at least that's the belief that we have, versus finding like-minded people who believe like-minded things and creating a shared collective community around that. Which I think is the power of what you are doing and what works both in the nonprofit world, but what both of us are doing in our therapy and our coaching worlds is working only with like-minded people who believe like-minded things and want to create a sustainable world on those values and on that mission.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you can get really distracted really easily by a lot of other people out there, right? So everybody's got their motives and you kind of have to be able to sift through those pretty quickly. Yeah. So, yeah.

So with that, right, so if I'm asking people this new question, all of a sudden all these possibilities open up for them because they're only thinking about it. And I'm sure, right, you've experienced this with clients. They're only thinking about it from the resources that they have to date or based on the narrative and the story that they tell themselves. But once— but it's like, wait, why would you give me $200,000? Or why would anybody give me $200,000? Don't worry about that. Like, it'll, it'll come. A few days ago, I was thinking about how do I get my podcast sponsored? And there's a rule, an unspoken rule in the podcast world that you have to have a certain amount of downloads per episode to start getting a certain amount of money. And there's like, for this amount of downloads, you get this. And I'm like, who am I going to start reaching out to just for fun to say, hey, your product is completely in line with the purpose of my podcast. And I went on Instagram and I found one or two companies that are natural and organic and healthy. Jason Wasser, You want to throw some money, $50, $70, whatever it is. And I woke up this morning to an email saying, my— I'm representing a company. They don't have a lot of money, but they'd like to donate X amount of dollars, not even for you to mention them on your podcast, but to put them in your show notes. Would you be open to that?

Yeah, absolutely. Right, right. And it's just ask that—

just the asking, right? The law of attraction stuff. But just the fact that it's been on my mind, and I'm like, I'm going to take the action step, going back to the first thing, I'm going to now start reaching out to people. And this wasn't even one of the companies I reached reached out to. It was some entrepreneurial technology thing that wants to do something with spreadsheets and documents. So it aligns with my core values, right? If it'll make someone's life simpler and it's for entrepreneurs. But how have you found just promoting this mindset to the people you're working with has started to create shifts for them?

Well, in terms of doing the shifts that I've seen in most people is number one, like I've been there when you've asked that question to a mutual client, client. And I think that it's an amazing question, right? It just creates and sparks— I don't know, it wipes the slate clean and they can start to think about life a little bit differently, right? But with the formula that I've really worked with, there's a story that's similar to the question you had. We were in Zambia. I had a group of boys with me. I think this was in 2010. And there's this kid that I love that we were working with. And we were sitting under this mango tree, which we do every single night, just in the bush of Africa. The kids were going to bed. There's little fire, right? And I just said, stand up on that stool and tell me what you're going to do with your life and what are you going to practice and who you are, right? And this is in front of everybody. And we were having this deep conversation, like a side conversation. Everybody else was on the fire. I'm like, get up on that stool right now and do it. He's like, wait, are you serious? I'm like, yes. I'm like, I am serious. Stand up right now and just tell me who you are and what you're going to do, right? And it was beautiful, right? Like he He did it. He stood up. He was nervous. He's this tough guy from the East Coast and all that kind of stuff. But the point that I'm trying to make with that story is that all that formula has ever done once I've exposed that to somebody is that, okay, we practice something long enough, then you're going to start to feel so much better. That feeling is just going to create hope. I think hope is a very powerful thing, not hopes and prayers, but hope continues leads you on, right? Like hope to action. And it's going to continue just kind of that formula is just going to go in a cyclical nature. Like, you know, it's going to be circular. And so yeah, it was just a really beautiful thing for this kid to be like, okay, like this is who I am. This is what I'm going to practice. This is who I'm going to become. And this is how I'm going to do it. And just stood up and made a declaration in front of everybody. And I do that every once in a while when I'm on my humanitarian trips where I just like put somebody on the spot and tell them, like, just go for it right now. Just tell everybody who you are. So anyways, I'm not sure that really answers your question, but that's just how I've seen it happen is like it just inspires people to realize that, oh, I can follow some steps. Nobody's given me steps. And that's what mentoring is. It's just like, hey, like this is what I've done in my past that has created some success for me. So why don't you just follow alongside with me a little bit? I'm going to put you under my wing a little bit and I will just show you some steps, right? So trust these steps, trust me, and then we'll, we'll get you that validation. We'll get you that sense of hope at the end. I've just seen incredible success just with that kind of 3-step process that I go on. I mean, I don't know. Some of my clients, it takes me months and months to actually get to the point where I can even introduce that to them because I'm sorting through so much crap. But at the same time, it's just a fun moment when they realize, "Oh, there's a process to this. I can follow it and I can check in with it and I can actually go back and say, oh, did I do X, Y, and Z? And if I'm not doing Y, then okay, I know where I'm missing, and so I need to add that piece, and I got to practice that, and then go from there, right?

I think that's why, like, people love— the people who have gone to Tony Robbins events, yeah, are really in love with the Tony Robbins thing, because you're taking the average person, putting them in the same average environment, right, in a conference hall or, right, or an arena. But what he's a big fan of is the state versus trait Mindset, right? Where he does all these different exercises with you to change your physiology, to change your nervous system. But what you're describing right there is like putting somebody up, stand up, let's do this, let's pronounce something. You're allowing them to change their— by making a distinction, putting their flag right in the ground, a line in the sand, proclaiming something that they believe in, that they want to accomplish, and then changing the muscle memory and patterns around that. And I'm a huge, huge fan of doing that because we work from the place of where we're at with what we think we have that narrative as opposed to let's reverse engineer, let's think 5, 10 years out. You want to be there. What are the action steps in reverse that you need to do in order to get there? It doesn't matter whether you're overweight or you've been abused or you've used drugs or whatever the journey is. If you find the right mentors and you connect with the right people and the right resources, you can get there.

Jason Wasser: Yeah, absolutely. I get some pushback sometimes from people like, "Oh, you had it lucky. Your situation really created this thing for you or whatever, where you live, the people you had around you." But I do believe that life is formulaic in a lot of ways. So that's why I think things like the Tony Robbins things, that's why I feel like people buy the self-help books that are out there and the motivational things, watching the TED Talks, because they're just looking for formulas. They're looking for ways to rely On, okay, I can check back in and say, okay, like I said, I'm doing this well, but I'm not doing this well. So I can add this new piece. And it doesn't necessarily mean that they could be in the middle of Africa or India. And I've done that where I'm giving workshops to kids all over the world and they're just super inspired. And I just came in, flew in, gave this thing, but then I gave them tools for them to check back in with themselves and say, okay, I'm not always going to be here. You can check in with me with Messenger. And I've loved technology in the last little while because I have Everyday messages from kids all around the world saying like, hey, like, what about this? Or, hey Josh, you've always inspired me. Like, what can I do about this? And I'm like, okay, well I can mentor people through Facebook Messenger. Like, that's great. I'll do it. And then they'll be phenomenal. And so like, it's been, it's been a fun ride with technology as well, but I just really love the fact that like, there are simple formulas to life and it's not as complicated as we make it to be. And so if we just trust that, if we don't like put the little hocus pocus thing and think, oh, this is so hokey, or this is whatever, but like really it's really life. And life is pretty simple. It's just kind of our culture and our society has really made it more difficult than it needs to be. So, yeah.

So part of this journey of mentoring and being involved in a lot of these kids' life has led you to bringing somebody specific into your—

Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, a big part of my life was we would take these trips, right? I've probably had over 4,000 people travel with us all around the world, right? And our main project has always been in Baja California, Mexico. And that's been our most popular program. It's really inexpensive. We try to keep it short, fun, and inexpensive so we can get as many people on that as possible. And so I've been working with the same orphanage for the last 15 years. And I just started to notice maybe— and I'm a little bit dense, but like, you know, maybe 7 or 8 years ago, I was like, man, we're having a blast with these kids. I mean, we do programs where like for Christmas, we'd rent limos and get them tuxes and we take them down to Walmart and they like We created a bank at the orphanage where the kids went and they did all this work, and then all of a sudden they got 500 pesos, which is the most they'd ever seen in their lives at this point in time. And we took them down to Walmart where they had to buy gifts for a friend in the orphanage. I don't know, just any and all things. I have stories galore in terms of things that we were doing. And that was really based in my idea that I really wanted to create memories. I really wanted to be able to give the kids a photo album at the at the end of their time at the orphanage and be like, you have memories to share with people and momentum to build upon and just great memories, things like that. But then the kids turn 18 and they leave the orphanage and they were like, oh, it was really sad. This person left, this person left. And we wouldn't, because of technology at the time, we really didn't hear from them that often. But the story started coming back to us like, oh, this girl got pregnant. This guy got this girl pregnant or he's in this deadbeat job. They dropped out of college. They're working just this really kind of just really sad life. And then the light bulb went on for me. And I said, my work is really important with the kids here, but the most important work is getting these kids prepared for life after the orphanage and to be able to take, just to be able to take care of them while they were transitioning out, right? And so we've been working a lot around them, but then the orphanage that we were working with was starting to, the government put a bunch of different new things in place, right? Like saying like, oh, there's all these new rules and things. And so there was a real big chance this orphanage was going to close. And so there was 2 kids there. And the way that this worked out was just insane in terms of how it all came together. I couldn't have asked for it to be better because I was in Hawaii with a girlfriend and— Yeah. Oh, thank you. I was in Hawaii with a girlfriend at the time and she had left. And I just wrote out in a journal on 2 pieces of paper in my journal, just what I wanted to do with my life because I was just feeling a little bit stuck at the time. And so I just wrote, "There are kids that I can help at this orphanage right now, and I have to do it in a bigger way, in a bolder way." And I put these two names down there, which is Carlos and Yvonne, and I didn't know how it was going to work out, but I just planted it there. And then the rumors started swirling, and then I met this person who had similar ideas for one of the other girls in the orphanage, and they knew this lawyer in Ensenada, and all of a sudden, I was like, well, I've been successful in my life. I have this opportunity. I'm not married yet. I'm dating, but I'm not like— People are telling me left and right, you can't do this this way, this way, our cultural norms. And I was just like, screw this. I'm really good at mentoring young people. I've known Carlos since he was 5. I've known Ivan since he was 8. Things are just being pushed in this way where it's like, these kids are gonna need some really big help at the end of this experience. And I just don't want them to be on their own. So why not adopt them, right? And so it was just kind of like this, I don't know, I could go through step by step 'cause all these little miracles and things were happening, but it was just like, first and foremost was like, can I do this? And I had to go through that process for a little bit and make sure that I could financially do this and make sure that I was in a space. But at the same time, I wasn't in a space like I think I could afford it, but it was iffy. And then all of a sudden I made the decision and then new things started popping up and other income streams started to come up. And then I was able to really afford to do this and things like that. And then all of a sudden I kind of planted the seed with them and said, hey, like, what would it be like if I like adopted you? And like after, you know, and then just starting that type of relationship from scratch with somebody, even though there was lots of shared experiences over the last 15 years, especially with Carlos, like, okay, I mean, of course, they're gonna be like, yeah, that'd be a better opportunity than I have right now. But what's that going to look like? And how am I going to create that? And I didn't have all those answers either. And so it was just like a lot of just like, okay, hey, like, we're just gonna walk on this path together and see how it happens. And yeah, now Carlos is at school in Utah, learning to be a commercial pilot. And Yvonne, almost the paperwork's all almost done. And so we'll get him here to start studying and some things, and there's some informality to it because there's still paperwork going through and not everything's final. But I have two sons now and they're causing me headaches and they're causing me a lot of joy too, right? Like, that's the great thing is it's like, they call me dad and I call them son. And, you know, I tell these people, but like, just being able to like, have them call me out of the blue and talk for 2 hours on FaceTime is probably one of the greatest feelings in the whole entire world. You know that you've been able to create a relationship with somebody when they just want to be around you and they want to spend some time. I had the chance this summer to take Carlos all around the world on all my different projects and introduce him to my mentors and the people who are most important to me, and everybody fell in love with Carlos. Now, Carlos is just a really, really great kid. And so, yeah, like, I don't know, it just felt right that like I needed to take seriously the fact that I'm creating these relationships with these kids while they're at the orphanage, but my most important thing is what happens to them afterwards. And I'm still learning how to do that better, but that became priority number one. And these two kids are just way too important to me and really special to me to like let them just kind of fall away. So that's kind of a little bit of a backstory there. Yeah. Wow.

So without sounding to minimize, right, or to just give any short of any level of props to this. I mean, it's like you said, the mediocre life is not for you. And how many people out there, especially those that are going to listen to this in the future, whether it's going all the way in on adoption or mentoring or leadership, or even more so, like you said, the way that we're told that we have to do things in whatever order that our society our religions, our cultures, our families have deemed we have to do it, otherwise we're gonna disappoint them. You found this total alignment in living authentically with yourself.

Yeah, and I feel like the most important thing is that when you wash away all that kind of stuff, because I've gone through my own kind of, whether you want to call it a faith crisis, and figuring out where religion works for me and how this Jason Wasser, I had to— at some important time, you strike out on your own, right? And you create the life that you want to, and you can get stuck in these patterns of having a mortgage and doing this and doing that. And those things are important. Of course, you got to put a roof over our head and food on our table, things like that. But a lot of my world travels, I think, showed me the things that I thought were important are just not important at all, which then allows me to then have those cultures influence me and to be able to teach me. And that's one of my biggest mentors has been travel, is just being able to go. I've been to maybe 60+ countries in my lifetime and just sitting down and sitting with whether it's a witch doctor in Swaziland or sitting down with an elder in wherever I might be. Even just the women in these places influence. I'm very a big part of my life are just like, they're really strong women figures. And so like, they really tend to be very open to what they say, because they are very, very influential on me. I just had that from my grandmas. But anyways, yeah, that's been my biggest thing because I could just be around the fire with somebody or in a meeting with some, you know, the high-ups to try to get something, you know, done in the community. And I'm just like, okay, well, my mentality is not working here. So I've got to shut up, I've got to listen to them. I've got to let the community guide and I've got to just be able to learn that I'm not the white savior and I don't have to culturally appropriate everything that's going on and bring that back. But I have to just say to them, say to myself, like, I'm here just to help. And so how can I just be a conduit instead of just like a— Yeah, anyway, so I guess what I'm just really trying to say with that is that my mentoring has really been formulated by my travel and just the people and what they've taught me. And it's really shifted and just given me me this blank sheet that said, Josh, you don't have to do anything the way that you were taught. It's up to you to kind of pick and choose and say, okay, like what works for me and what doesn't. And if it's not healthy and if it doesn't put you in a good spot, then just let it go. Just let it go. It doesn't have to be there.

Yeah. Well, I think that's a great question that every person listening to this can ask themself. If you can do things the way that you want to do that would turn out to be the healthiest, most aligned with your soul, your purpose, your potential, whatever words you want to put in there. How would you reformulate or how would you formulate your life and your steps and who would you talk to different? Who would you talk to? Who would you hang out with differently? Who would you not hang out with? Who would you get more influence from? I think in my own journey of growing up in South Florida, living in Israel and then up and down the East Coast, I've been experiencing and have been experienced different cultures even though it hasn't been as widespread as 60 countries. But I think the people that show up in your life, like, I'm sure you believe this as well, where everybody's a teacher and everybody could be a mentor, whether they're actively doing it or not, by watching somebody do something that you don't align with and saying, I don't ever want to go there and do that. Or this is really cool. It's not necessarily my religion or spiritual practice, but the fact that they're so— what's the word I'm looking for— that they're doing it so authentically and powerfully without judgment, without having to push it upon anybody else, can also be a profound That's right, to truth without it having to be somebody else's truth.

Absolutely. And I'm a big believer, like the word, I named my foundation Kaizen after, I was reading in a Robin Sharma book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari way back in the day, like I think in 2003 or 2004. And that principle of Kaizen really stuck in my mind of doing a little bit better each day and constant improvement, things like that. And one of the things in that book though, that really always stuck with me is like when the student's ready, the teacher will appear.. Right? And I've just seen that over and over again when I didn't know what to do with the adoption with these boys, or like when I said, when they kind of put you in a situation where you're like, I'm not a dad, so I've never done this before. So like, but you know, and they put me in the situation, I've got to figure this out. Like, I've just been surprised, like the person will come to mind who I need to talk to, or, you know, that person will just kind of show up and just say, okay, here's the next step, whether it's with some of my startups or some of the different things that I'm working I'm working with right now, like people have appeared that have taken me to levels that I would never have known just because I was open, right? And it's our closed-mindedness that just shows, you know, just closes off like every— we just can't see anything. We're just so blinded, right? It's just having those blinders on that just don't allow us to see that there's goodness everywhere. Even though the world is crazy, there's goodness everywhere. And what we choose to focus on, what we deliberately practice will, you know, will provide for us. It will provide the path.

Well, the word you just used, that deliberate practice, starts with intentionality, but it also goes back to what we were saying a few minutes ago about calling out something specific. And I know in my own ADD-ness that if I don't have that intentionality, if I don't put out the action steps, if I don't calendar it, if I don't put it into rhythms and rituals, then I know I personally won't ever get there. And it'll just be another project that I never attended to or never got back around to. And I know a lot of people out there also have that. What are some of the tricks and tips that you you might share with someone in your coaching and mentorship about putting that into play and putting that into action?

With intentionality, I mean, the big thing that I do is I don't go to bed without knowing what I'm doing the next day. I think that's just like the smallest little thing that I try to teach people, right? Like if I can't wake up in the morning and know where I'm going, my mind will just take over and other people will draw upon my energy and then I'm just like, "I'm done. I'm done," right? And so, it's the littlest thing too, right? Besides the fun things like vision boarding or creating like mind movies and just different things that you kind of can create in your mind, I believe that my biggest— some of my biggest mentors have been in the realm of like meditation and just kind of allowing myself to envision what is it that I want and taking it from the land of intentionality to, okay, well, I'm going to just sit with what that feels like, what that looks like, and where my fears are coming up and how I can counterbalance those things. And then just my meditation sometimes becomes a lot more brainstorming towards the end, but that clear space, that clear mind allows me to then create my plans. I clearly write those out on paper. I let people know what I'm going to do a lot of times. So there's a little bit of accountability. I have my own coach. I have people around me who keep my feet to the fire. And then I just make mistakes and I learn from them. Nothing that I've done has been remotely perfect. I've never had a perfect launch. I've never had a perfect anything, right? I just realized I'm going to screw up. I'm going to learn something. I'm going to apply that new lesson. That's going to give me some more, something else to teach somebody else. And if I don't take that personally, everything else will be just great. Right. You know, I'm just not going to take the fact that I'm going to mess up personally. And I did for a while, like when I was one of my latest startups, like I found myself after a while, we were working with this partnership and this merger, and I was just like, "Man, I am at their whim this whole time." It took me months and months to realize it. I am just living and waiting and hoping, and I've got to change this. Then other opportunities came up once I let go of the other things. A lot of it's just making these things like, "Okay, I'm just learning constantly." That constant improvement, the kaizen theory that I really really rely on during my life is like, you know, I am, uh, I'm checking with myself often. I'm meditating often. I'm making my plans often to know where I need to make this right turn, this left turn, so that I don't get stagnant. Right. So, yeah.

So one of my favorite meditations that I ever got introduced to was a bunch of years ago when I was going through some major crisis. I stumbled upon the Zen Buddhist meditation group here in South Florida. And even though As a person who's involved extensively in my Jewish community and Jewish prayer and meditation, from that perspective, it was allowing me to go step out of that box and do something a little bit different that enhanced my own experience to just work my way through something that was very, very challenging to me. So I remember the meditation was so simple. It was a half-hour sitting silent meditation. So for the average person, just to sit without doing anything and focusing on anything is tough enough. And then 30 minutes of Silent meditation for a therapist especially to not talk, right? And my own personality was radically tough and putting those two together exponentially. But the meditation was this, on the breath in, which people out there can practice, on the breath in, there was like a 4-count of a breath in, was saying the words in your mind, "Clear mind, clear mind," and just breathing in on that. And on the out-breath, which it's either 4 to 8, for a 4-count or an 8-count, whatever was most comfortable, as you're going through that out-breath, the only phrase that you should be saying is don't know. So what the question is, is why on the breath in is it clear mind, clear mind on the out-breath, don't know? What's the connection between the two? Is that the moment that you have that quick split-second moment, all those thoughts are gonna come racing. Right? Out of our control, as you know. And we're gonna have a billion and one thoughts in that half a second.

Exactly.

The breath in and the breath out. So the response to that is, Don't know. I don't need to know. I don't need to figure it out. I don't have to know why. It just is a thought.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think the majority of my practice, and you probably see this too, is just letting people know that they're not their thoughts, they're not their emotions. These thoughts and emotions create these chemical imprints, and that's kind of what we get addicted to. And we kind of— yeah, it's been really, really amazing to me. But I think like For most people, I just hope that they're not afraid, like you're saying, to go and sign up for something where they just have to be silent, right? Because we just are so obsessed with the familiar past and we're just trying to, you know, and we just want to stay there. And then that just creates our known future, right? And instead of just being in this unknown, and the greatest way to get into the unknown is just to be freaking quiet. Like, that's it. Like, you know, like Don't have anything on in your car for a little while. I put on a lot of podcasts, but sometimes every once in a while I just drive in silence and just try to get to know the thoughts that are in my head, the worries that I have. Then I just start to learn to trust myself more in my silence. I think that's where— Another thing that I teach when I'm teaching meditation, we're doing a little meditation thing with a lot of my clients in a couple of weeks here with one of the Buddhist monk or Buddhist nun, sorry, up in Santa Cruz. And one of the things that I know that she's going to teach them is just like, hey, like when you're in silence, you're in trust, basically. You're trusting yourself. So, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. One of my previous guests on the show, Jim Shields, who's an entrepreneur who's very much about creating family experiences over the 18 years that you're with your children, that you get 18 summers to create long-lasting memories Memories, and that's— his book is called 18 Summers. He talks about a tech fast, about creating a time in your day, in your week to have no technology around. And we are comparing it to the Sabbath, right? The Friday night to Saturday night in Jewish tradition or Sundays in Christianity where you're focusing on a specific connection to your spirituality, to your community. You're trying to separate yourself from what's flooding and what's coming in. So there's so many different ways that we can tap into this. Into ourself, into our practices, into what we need, but we have to make that action step. We have to be proactive and deliberate like you were.

Yeah, and most kids don't, I work with a lot of kids, so it's like they just don't realize that like these habits are like muscles, right? Whatever we decide to like build up, you know, pretty simple maybe for us as adults to understand that like, hey, whatever I'm practicing is like gonna be like my big muscle, right? And so if I'm practicing being on Facebook and Instagram and worrying about what other people think, like that's your, That's what's driving you, right? That's your strength. And so that's where that deliberate practice comes in. Let's wipe the slate clean, like you said. If you have the $200,000, who are you right now? Well, let's figure out from that and draw from that what you can practice, and then I'll hold you accountable to it. And I think it's just really, really— Yeah, I think it's a beautiful process. And I really love that 18 Summers thing. I haven't read the book yet and I need to, but People were thinking I was spoiling Carlos to death this summer because we went to Africa, we went all around Europe and we went to India and we just, I gave him the summer of his dreams because I felt like I needed to cram 18 summers into one summer. So I'll do the same with Ivan next year. So it's just kind of like this idea, I agree. Sorry, that was just a little random aside, but it just sparked in me like, oh yeah, that's exactly what I was doing this summer is I just really wanted to create all these experiences really concentrated for Carlos because he's going to be so dedicated to school right now that I need to make up for some lost time. So yeah.

Good, which is really, really, really cool. So as we move it forward, so if you were only able to have one conversation with someone and you knew that you would never be able to speak to them again, you'd never see them again, what wisdom would you want them to walk away with after talking to you?

So I knew you were going to ask this question and I hope I can I can create something that's— I've had that experience before where it didn't really work out in the way that I thought. I had to give parting advice sometimes when we're in Africa and a kid's dying of AIDS or something going on, you have to tell them something, right? Or one of my friends that were on the boat in Morocco, I think love is the most powerful thing. I think that's a very important thing. And when I was on the boat, saying to these people goodbye, I just wanted to let them know that they were loved. And if I could give somebody a piece of advice, it would be that whether that comes from an external source or an internal source, that feeling, that chemical imprint that love is, whatever the brain's doing, the pineal gland and all these different things that are creating these things is like, if you know that, if you love yourself or if you love If you feel love, then you're going to love other people, and that love is going to create a whole hell of a lot of goodness in this world. And that's the basis of what I feel in life is that because I grew up in a very loved situation, it allowed my mind to create and create more goodness and more love for other people. And we can do that with kindness, and we can do that with trust, and we can do that with just whatever it might be. Good begets good. And for us to be able to just look at saying, "I should be somebody who's creating goodness and the best way that I need to do that, whether I have that love surrounding me, but if I don't, then I create it within myself so then I can go out and create more." Good begets good, love begets love, kindness begets more kindness. And I just need people to understand that they have that power. And I would love for somebody to walk away, if I would never see them again, that they have that power in their lives to beget something better than themselves. Yeah.

Awesome. So with all the projects, and most specifically the foundation, the Kaizen Foundation, for those who are out there that are listening, how can they be involved, whether it's in person or even at a distance?

So with, with Kaizen, our website's kaizen.org, and Kaizen, I added another I to it so we can trademark it and differentiate it from everybody else. So it's kaizen.org. We do have lots of trips during the year. I do have projects that are on that website that you can get involved with from afar. One of our greatest projects that we have going on right now is a male mentoring project that we helped create in Swaziland, which is now called the Kingdom of Eswatini, that's having an effect on thousands of young men's lives, and that needs resources and it needs power behind it. And let me just explain really quickly why is because there's so many nonprofits And this sounds a little bit odd in this era, focusing on the women, and they are doing all these wonderful things for women and I support them fully, but the men are causing all the problems. And so we created this nonprofit in Swaziland in 2012 that I've just seen have a meteoric rise. And it's been beautiful to see. It's country, it's nationwide now there. And I would love people to just kind of like go on the website and if something resonates with them that they can get involved financially, they can get involved by coming on a trip, or they can get involved by mentoring. If they have something to offer, then hit us up and we'll figure out. I get a lot of people who just want to help and they just want to mentor, and I will always send people towards a project that resonates with them because who knows how they can help. So yeah.

So I know a little bit ago you said the asking for the fundraising side is a little bit difficult for you, but it's not difficult for me. So if anybody who's listening to this podcast or the video of this and there's something that you heard in Josh's story and these experiences that you connect to, and there's even a little bit that you'd like to contribute to this, whether it's a one-time or on a recurring thing, I'm sure there's a way for them to do it both.

So what I'll do, if you could, I'm going to give you a— we're working on a very specific project right now. The Indian orphanage that we work with, I love dearly, and they've created an amazing culture. It got wiped out, half of it got wiped out in a landslide. We have about 90 days in order to rebuild before the government takes the kids away. And I'm just not going to let that happen. We're about a little bit over halfway on our goal on our GoFundMe. So if you want to put that link in, that's me asking, hey, if you want to throw a few dollars this way, this is a project. The thing that I love about Kaizen, it's all volunteer. Nobody takes a salary. It is my passion work and it's my outlet for what I do. And so that is can just rest assured that what we raise goes to where it goes. And, uh, yeah, that would be awesome.

What's, what's it advertised as, or as on the GoFundMe?

It is, um, help rebuild Indian or our home after landslide. But I'll put the— I can send you a link, but it's, uh, yeah, help rebuild. I can maybe look that up really quickly, but I don't know exactly. But it should be under Kaizen, and you'll see it. We're, we need to raise about $110,000, and I think we're about $60,000 in. So Got some more running. We got a big fundraiser in Malibu tomorrow and just a bunch of different things going on. So we're having fun with it. I'm learning how to ask better. I'm still learning. And so there you go. There's an ask for you. So— Cool.

Awesome. And if they want to get directly in touch with you to get more information, to perhaps get more involved outside of the website, what would be the best way for them to contact you?

I can put it— Is there a link with emails? Like they can get ahold of me by email. I can give I'll give you my general email and go from there. I've also got a coaching website, joshandholly.com, where they can get— I actually have like my female counterpart who kind of mentors all the girls and things like that. We kind of work together. We've written a book that's coming out really soon, and that's at joshandholly, and Holly spelled an I-E, not a Y, .com is another way you can kind of look and get ahold of us as well.

So. Awesome. So once again, I want to really, first of all, thank you for joining us today. Just sharing all this passion and deliberate creative, you know, deliberate and creative outlets for what's inspired you, what's inspiring others, and hopefully changing so many. And I know it's changing other people's lives since I've gotten to know you over the last couple of years. And definitely want to, you know, just want to wish you much more success. And for people out there to get involved in things like that, right? It's, if you don't have the time, you got a buck. And if you don't have a buck, you haven't the time. So in one way or another, whether it's through programs like Josh's or something else out there that you you personally connect with, that the action step is just going online and doing something and just showing up and just being present, whether it's for someone you don't even know or even more so for someone you already do know who might need you, right? Whether it's a family member, a friend, someone in your community. And I hope that this episode today really will inspire tons of more people towards that outcome. So again, thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you for the opportunity. I really appreciate the conversation. It was awesome. Cool. So yeah, thanks Jason. Appreciate what you do. Thanks for listening to the You Winning Life podcast. If you are ready to minimize your personal and professional struggles and maximize your potential, we would love it if you subscribe so you don't miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook at Jason Wasser LMFT 🎗️.