Ep. 73-From $2 A Day to Bootstrapping Your Dreams with Manuj Aggarwal

This is the You Winning Life podcast, your number one source for mastering a positive existence. Each episode, we'll be interviewing exceptional people, giving you empowering insights and guiding you to extraordinary outcomes. Learn from specialists in the worlds of integrative and natural wellness, spirituality, psychology, and entrepreneurship so you too can be winning life. Now here's your host, licensed marriage and family therapist, certified neuro-emotional technique practitioner, trainer and certified entrepreneur coach, Jason Wasser.

Everybody, welcome back. Today's guest is an entrepreneur, investor, and CTO of the company TetraNoodle, which is a software consulting company that helps startup founders with tech projects. He started his career at the age of 15, had no contracts, no resources, was determined to improve his life and realized that education and the right training was the only way to help him achieve his goals. He required— he achieved this really awesome but modest education and went on to become the technical leader and CTO in multiple startups. He's really passionate about education and training because without it, these achievements would not have been possible. And while building his career, Manoj fought decades of anxiety, depression, and pessimism by indulging in and beat it by going through meditation and mindfulness. He's deeply spiritual and focuses on accessing and training his subconscious mind to create the life of his dreams actively. Manoj, thank you so much for joining.

Well, thanks a lot for having me and such a nice introduction. Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here.

No, thank you. Thank you. So before we get into the mindfulness and the psychology of being an entrepreneur, I'm very curious, and I'm sure other people are curious about your story about how you decided to enter into this world of technology, where you're from, and what life was like for you before all this became so fruitful and so successful.

Well, I grew up in India. It was a very small town, and India was very much a growing country back then, third world country. Now things have changed quite a bit. But even now, like the town I belong to, there's not a lot of opportunities there in terms of higher educational opportunities, a premier education. And back then there was not like, you know, there was maybe one or two colleges which were not like, you know, specialized colleges for engineering or higher sort of higher level of studies. So for me it was basically, you know, just figuring out what to do. And so I enrolled in a bachelor's degree program for business commerce, accounting, and economics and stuff like that. And then I started working in a factory for at about 15 years of age. And so I was working there like 6 days a week, continuing my studies. And so it was kind of a tough, tough life, you know, working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. And it was not making, you know, earning— it was not earning a lot of money, $2 a day. And from there, you know, basically I I fell into, like, I discovered my love for computers and technology and programming. It was just basically, you know, as you say, like, it's not planned. You, you have an overall direction of where you want to go, but it's, you know, the next step is not planned, but things start to show up and you just need to, you know, take some chances. So in this case, Computer Programming Institute opened up in my, in my small town. And so the first year I couldn't really enroll because of the cost and everything. The second year I was able to enroll, um, and then, you know, I just fell in love. I mean, this was before we had internet. I mean, the first computer I used there was, uh, I think 386. I don't even know people will remember that, when what, 1 megabyte of RAM, and there was no hard disk, and we used to put in a floppy disk to load the program and another floppy disk to run the program. Um, most people won't remember all this stuff But yeah, I mean, that's where I started and enjoyed it so much. I used to try and steal the limited time we used to have in computer labs. I used to sort of barter with others and, you know, just get them to give me their time so that I can have more time on the computers. And one thing led to another and sort of, you know, I've actually found my wife there. We met there as well in the computer lab. In the same program. And then eventually came over to North America and started working in the tech industry and had lots of challenges, ups and downs there as well, as everybody does. And so yeah, that's sort of a high-level story of how I got started.

So I wanna go back to this $2 a day income and put it into perspective of the, possibilities that people have today.

Yeah, ho ho.

Especially with, right, technology is everywhere, right? What, and I graduated high school in 1996, and I remember having dial-up internet. I didn't even have AOL yet at my house. I dial-up internet in the library at our school through the library email thing, and it was a tree, it was an internet tree. I don't know if you remember that, the early— and that was it, right? And then AOL, and we were able to start connecting with other people and keep in touch with other people. But no one thought about programming or apps. I mean, web design wasn't even a thing then at that point, but just monetizing some possibility in some type of tech field, unless you were an engineer, was pretty much the only way of doing it, right? And you're— so when you started this college program, you were how old?

I think 17, 18. Something like that.

Yeah, at 17, 18 years old. Okay, right. And but $2 a day, what would be the average family income if you stayed in your community back then?

I mean, it's like $100, $100, $200 a month.

$100 a month as a combined family potential?

Yeah, because generally in India, uh, that especially in those days, only one person like the The husband works and, you know, in some cases the kids work as well. Some cases, not all the time.

Right.

Right.

And what sacrifices did you have to have because you had to decide of those $2 a day what you had to get versus what you couldn't get?

It was kind of tough. You know, it's like you had to make a lot of choices. You know, what do you want to spend your money on? You know, getting to a place. I mean, I've always been more focused on making sure I can add more experiences in my life. So I try to look for things which I hadn't experienced before. And so the drive was always to, you know, meet new people, go to new places, enroll in new things, and discover new things. So whatever I could do with that much money. Um, you know, I tried to incorporate, uh, new— newness in the, in the, in the experiences I was having because I knew that if I just keep repeating the same old thing, it's not ever going to lead to anything, right? The only thing— and the only way you bring about progress is to have to force yourself to have new experiences, meet new people, and, you know, somewhere something strikes, um, and then you find the next step. From there. I mean, that's how I think about life.

Well, I totally agree with you, and I think that most people out there don't realize the cost of personal investment for personal development is radically important, and that'll get them to next part of their life when it comes to their emotional health, their physical health, their spiritual health, their business and career health. So at what point did you know that that was the decision that you wanted to make? Because it really sounds like you just said to me that I knew that I had to make investments into my personal development.

So here's the thing. I had no idea where this is going to go. The only thing, and even today I try to do it this way, I look at— so this whole thing started, I remember I was talking to somebody on a similar podcast and they were like, what happened? Was there a trigger point when something changed in you or whatever? And I remember as far as the best of my ability, The key point was, you know, I picked up a few business magazines in, in the place I was working, and they were, um, obviously full of stories from rags to riches and blah blah blah. So, and then I was reading these, uh, biographies of these amazing people. I was like, you know, these, these people are no different than I am. I mean, some of them had even worse, uh, start than I did, you know. Uh, so like, what— I mean, at the end of the day, they, they are same species, same capabilities, same everything. So what can I do, um, to follow, uh, these people? And, uh, obviously it was not something that, that was even radically possible at that time. But it— I, I, you know how it is, like there is a, there is a hope, there's a pipe dream that is born, and then you just start to like, you know Just take one step at a time. Every day you have 10,000 options, 10,000 seconds in front of you. You know, if you just take a few seconds out of that and sort of apply towards that pipe dream that you have, it starts to compound. And I don't know how this happens. You know, I wish I could give you a blueprint for that, but you know, just that like little bit, like chipping away at something little by little. Is, you know, it compounds one day into something really big.

Well, as I'm looking at some of the list of your accomplishments, besides being, you know, incredibly lucky to have met your wife in the right time, in the right program, right? And becoming, right, a father of two children. But 20 years doing this so far, 500 million in value delivered, multiple patents, teaching 125,000+ students, 2 books, traveling the world, seeking adventure, having a podcast. That's a lot.

Yes. Wow. I mean, see, the thing is, um, if we take, uh, anybody's life, they have accomplished, uh, probably more, uh, than this. The only thing that that it takes is, you know, just sit down and inventory the impact that you've had so far. And, you know, if you take your example, you must have helped like thousands and thousands of people, or, you know, even, even, even whatever that number is, like, you know, 100,000, whatever that number is. If you sit down and take the inventory of kind of impact you've had, uh, and then start to dig a little deeper and, and learn about the stories of the people you've helped I mean, you can come up with so much material that, you know, I, you know, for me it was like 6 lines, but for you it could be like 6 books. You know, it's like just looking at, observing these little things and the kind of impact you can have. You know, we all have that capacity, right? That's true.

Well, it sounds to me like the challenge that I want to now reissue to everybody that's listening is that what I just read from both your bio and some of the accomplishments that you've had to date is from your one sheet. And it sounds to me that if we can challenge people to create their own one sheet, that it doesn't have to be to be a public speaker or for your podcast or for your business, but what is your one sheet to date? And it's so different than a bio, right? And I don't know if you're familiar with Jesse Itzler. He's a really incredible entrepreneur, but he has this idea of building your life resume, right? And not only what do you do when it comes to work, but what are the cool things you've done in your life? Have you run a marathon? Have you won a cooking contest? Have you traveled to this random place? And putting that on your life resume so it becomes a whole complexity of who you are, not just what you've done for other people. But taking it and enhancing it to a much bigger picture. So I like that, that, you know, the thing you put in there is you're traveling, you're seeking adventure, your father, you're— right, all these beautiful things that round you out as a whole.

Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, the thing is, like, uh, the, the realization that, uh, comes— at least came to me— is that, uh, all these aspects that you mentioned, you know, adventure and, uh, your family and your physical, mental, spiritual health they are part of the same continuum, right? Like most people, they run about one thing, which is money. And then they, you know, for the way that the society has been set up and the amount of money, that sort of forces us to ignore other aspects of the life. And the thing is, once you realize that they all need to stay at somewhat of a similar level, you cannot have like a very, uh, you know, prominent, successful career, and, um, you know, all other aspects of your life are in shambles. It generally doesn't happen that way, especially if you're coming from behind. So you really need to take care of all other aspects of life as well so that, you know, though your success and financial status also keeps up with other aspects of life. Uh, makes sense.

Yeah, for sure. And I see that especially as a therapist, right, where everything— we always joke and talk about this work-life balance. And my first question to my clients is, why do you believe it needs to be in balance? Because there's always going to be a part of your life that's going to be a little bit more advanced based on the fact that you've made it a priority or you spent more time, effort, energy, and money investing in that. So I don't know if everything's ever going to be in balance, but what I'd be afraid of is how big is the discrepancy in the gap between other aspects of your life, right? So if you're at a 9 in work and you're at a 7 in your health, that's okay, right? But if you're at a 9 in your work and you're at a 4 in your relationships, that's where you need to focus.

Yeah, exactly. And what I've noticed— sorry, go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. No, what I've noticed is that just having that intent in the back of your mind is a very, very big step. You know, just like a lot of people, and I used to think that way as well, you know, if I make X number of dollars, then I'm gonna enjoy my life, or I'm gonna spend this much time with my kids, or, you know, I'm gonna—

or I'll be happy when—

but the point here is that what I realized was you need to bring that into the now. You actually need to say, okay, you know what, I don't have all the money that I needed, but I'm gonna try and get that feeling in my life however I do it. And once you start to get those feelings in your life, you know, you need to— you may need to be scaled-down version of what that may look like. You know, instead of going to Fiji or, you know, exotic place, maybe just go to a nearby town, at least spend that time. And that having that intent, what it does is, as I said earlier, it may As soon as that opportunity, uh, opens up, a long weekend opens up or something like that happens, you can say, you know what, my intent is to, you know, balance my family life. This is my chance, let's take it. And, uh, you know, um, it won't hurt anybody, you know, it's not going to be as costly, it's not going to affect my business. Uh, let's take this chance and balance out that part of my life. It may not like It may not spark a magic light like on a weekend, but it will set you on that path to addressing that part of your life. And slowly and steadily, you know, things start to heal there.

Well, you and I are in total agreement about that. That momentum starts with that first pedal on the bike. And if you know, right, on any type of regimen, it's those first few days, it's those first few pedals that have the most resistance, right? But eventually, as that momentum goes, as long as you have the energy, You, right? And the muscle memory and all that stuff, it's gonna keep going. And I do believe, and this is what I challenge my clients over and over again, is that I'm not looking for you to have this magic game changer today. It'll be great if you do, if we can, right, have a mic drop, as they say, and life is a game changer. I'm more concerned with having what's the pivot that we can do and start slowly shifting you into the opposite direction. In a more meaningful way that gets you closer to your purpose and potential, and then continue to do that over a sustained period of time, over a long period of time. That's what I'm more concerned with. And at the end of the day, as much as it sounds psychological, it's also very spiritual, right? And I know that one of the things that you, that we talked, that I mentioned in your bio, is that you fought this anxiety, this depression, this pessimism, So what was going on with that? And then let's talk a little bit more about how mindfulness and meditation helped you solve that.

Yeah. So, you know, see, like, just last week, I took a really deep personality test. And I'm planning to offer it to some other people as well. But here's what happened. I discovered some things about myself I didn't know, even though I thought I was fairly self-aware and all that stuff. Through this test, I found that one of the core values that I have is family support. And so, you know, that explained a lot. You know, once that I realized that about myself, that explained a lot in terms of what happened with me in my life. It's because, you know, I was distant with my parents and for whatever reason, let's not go there, but there was some friction there. Then there was some friction in the marriage. Then there was some friction with the kids. So, you know, when this thing started happening over and over again, I started to notice a pattern that, you know, why do I get into these situations all the time? And obviously it's easy to blame others when you're dealing with adults and say, ah, you know, these people don't understand. And to some degree, yeah, I mean, people don't understand each other unless you communicate. And then when it happened with my kid, that was the breaking point where I was like, you know, this doesn't make sense. Whatsoever. Like, I cannot have, uh, you know, a good relationship with my kid. Like, what is going on there? Like, I cannot blame a kid for, for this behavior. So at that point, I sought out, uh, like, major help, you know. I needed to fix that, uh, before anything else. And, you know, I, I looked at, uh, and whatnot. I mean, their answer was, we'll fix it, but you'll need to come to us for the life. And I was like, you know, that's not a fix. That's, you know, that's in my opinion, that's a fix. So then when I met my spiritual mentor, like, there was a transformation, like, you know, within a few hours, right? Because you understand the reality, the real reality that is happening under the covers is like, we are not— we are creating our reality by the perceptions that we have built in our minds. Um, and so whatever was happening was me being, uh, like, whatever I was being, you know, being protective of my own hurt, my own past, projecting my own negativity on other people and expecting them to behave a certain way. And then when they behave that way, I used to get upset. Um, so it's like all this stupidity that we create in our life It's like, you know, a windshield wiper wiping off all that snow and rain off your windshield. Now you can see clearly. Now you can move ahead clearly. And that was sort of the experience that I had.

So for me in my practice, the way I work with my clients is I don't worry about a diagnosis or pathology. In fact, I don't take clients that are anything beyond what we would call the worried well. You're the average human being who are going through average life stuff. You may have some anxiety, you may have some depression, but I don't work with more severe, significant mental health concerns. And everything that I do is to help them understand the narrative or the story that they're telling is probably not organically their own, but it's just a result of experiences from their family, from their culture, from their history, from their religion, from their experiences that they've adopted willingly and unwillingly. That are keeping them away from who they authentically are, and then they're reacting to experiences or people or to things based on those beliefs, right? So when it comes to that mindset, and I know a lot of us, especially in Eastern philosophies and mystical traditions, is very similar to that, that, you know, and I had this conversation with a client this morning, I said, 'cause he went through a lot of emotional abuse as a child and is struggling. And we figured out that the whole core thing is that the one thing that will help him solve every aspect of his life is confidence in his belief of who he is. And we realized that once he found that confidence, it'll answer his career issues, it'll answer his relationship issues, it'll answer his spirituality issues. And now the trick is how does he singularly-minded focus on understanding what true healthy confidence is. Well, yeah, yeah, knowing that he deserves that, right? So I asked him the question. I said, in your spiritual background, do you believe that you're a body that has a soul or a soul that has a body? And his first thought was, well, yeah, I'm a body that has a soul. So, okay, so if you're primarily a body that has a soul, then your life will gunk you up and you'll never get access to it because your life experiences is holding you away from all these wonderful potential things. And until you dig away all of those things, you're never going to have access to your soul potential, right? But if you're the other way around, if you're a soul that has a body, then no matter what gunk gets thrown at you, your soul will always eventually find a way to shine through and will never be blemished.

For sure. Yeah, his face just like very beautifully put. Yeah, that's very well said. Yeah, for sure.

Right, so if we start from that premise, 'cause a lot of times we have to challenge, and especially I know in mindfulness and meditation, is what's the premise that we're holding on to? When I've spent about a year doing some Buddhist mindfulness meditation in a meditation group, the first thing was that they asked us to have is to have the chant while we're breathing in is clear mind, clear mind, right? And then on the out-breath, is to have the thought in our mind, don't know. And the first question is, why do you say clear mind, clear mind? Because you want your mind to be empty. And then all of a sudden you're saying don't know. What are you saying don't know to? And they said that split second between the second you stop saying clear mind, clear mind, that you clean out your— what, your white— the windshield wiper, as you said.

Yeah.

Some thought is going to creep in that you think is going to be meaningful, or you think is going to make you sad, or has some type of determination of who you and who and what you need to be. And the response to the be— don't know, doesn't matter, it's just a thought.

Exactly. No, it's beautiful. Yeah, um, I practice, uh, slightly differently, but at the end of the day, it's all about, uh, you know, how the mind works, um, the thoughts which are the raw materials for everything else. And yeah, how do you understand this whole mechanism? Uh, it's fascinating stuff. Yeah.

So what are some of the actual practices that you've been implementing? And is there a way to share some quick ways that the people listening to this can actually start applying?

I mean, it's, it's no, like, it's no magic, right? You know, one is meditation. In the morning, I, I try to make sure that I do it at least 5 days a week, no more than 15-20 minutes. I try sometimes in the evening as well. And then journaling has been helping quite a bit, journaling. And then, yeah, I mean, understanding everything that I've discovered, you know, the number one thing that I have found to be the first step is self-awareness. So anything that you can do to raise your self-awareness, understand yourself, you know, really deeply. Like, you know, we all have like really dark demons inside us, and we have very, very creative light inside us as well. So you need to not only focus on the good part but also the bad parts and the, and the, and the things which are— which make you afraid, angry, all that stuff. If you start to understand yourself much better, it actually helps understanding other people because now you become more empathetic. Towards other people, and things fall into place very nicely. You know, you're having a conversation, you can understand another person better, their perspective better. You can understand mass psychology better, you can understand marketing better, you can do more sales. It's all sort of related. It starts from there, and that's how it's all sort of interconnected. So short answer, you know, start with self-awareness, which will lead you to paths that will be individualized, personalized for you because everybody's different.

Yeah, so I know you mentioned that you took a self— like a test, a self-test. And some of the works, um, that I use with my clients, right? I'm very big on the 4, um, the— sorry, the 5 Love Languages, which is very, very important. And especially in a business community, to know your— the, the love language, the communication language of the people you're working with, um, is, is really powerful. There's one that I do with my clients on their money language, which is cool. I'm a big fan of the Myers-Briggs, and it's not the end-all be-all. Over the years, and especially more recently, I've been getting into the Enneagram testing, which very much focuses on all your positive strengths and, like you talked about, the dark side, but the shadow and how to leverage it, what stressors will trigger you when you're in certain experiences, how will you respond, how do you try to connect with people. And those are the big things that I feel. What are some of the things that you've, some of the assessments or some of the tools that you've found really helpful?

You know, when I coach people, I go through similar steps. One is, you know, I work on finding the core values of the people and understanding and helping them understand as well, understanding their why. Because I think that again, you know, this is all part of self-awareness, right? So these components— understanding your why, what is driving you— you know, we're all running after something, but we sometimes forget about the fact we are running after, or why we are running out. That's more important. So once you understand why that is important to you, um, then you can start to build a map, mental map, of what happens if you do not get this done. And what happens if you get it done, right? And so that aspect of what happens that do not get it done, um, you need to use it as a motivation. I mean, you— I mean, imagine the worst case scenario, right? Imagine the worst case scenario. I don't know what— whatever that is. Let's say, let's say you're gonna lose everything, you're gonna— you're gonna be on the street, you're gonna have to beg, you're gonna, you know, you're just gonna become a homeless person. That's the worst case scenario. Or some, you know, I talked to somebody like a couple of weeks ago and they were like, the worst case scenario is death. I'm like, that's not too bad, you know. You know, you have no idea what's gonna happen, so it's not the worst case scenario. The worst case scenario is you're gonna have to live and then you have to endure all the, all the challenges. Um, but let's say that is the worst case scenario, uh, that you need to take as motivation and say, okay, you know what, I have limited time left here. So what can I do to accomplish my goals? And the best case scenario, if I do accomplish my goals, these are all the things that I'm going to be experiencing. So get into the habit of experiencing those things little by little and taking action towards that goal. Now, just after you have done this exercise, let go. You know, this is— now you're on autopilot, meaning like, you know, you're taking micro actions. You're just focusing on what could be, what it should not be, and if it If the negative happens, be prepared for that. And so, you know, this mental map helps you, you know, sort of find your way, next step, and all that stuff. And you keep repeating it every day.

How can we help people more figure out if their why is authentically theirs versus part of the story of their unfinished business? And they're doing it maybe more from a, you know, if I do this, then maybe I'll finally get the love that I want or the relationships that I want or that, accolades that I want. So how can we strip away that final layer to make sure that it's truly, you know, in their integrity?

So a couple of ways that I, I do it is, um, you know, first of all, once you understand why you're doing this, ask another why, you know. Ask, um, okay, so, you know, I want to make money. Why do I want to make money? I want to buy a bigger house. Why do I want to buy a bigger house? Well, I want to take care of my family. Why do you want to take care of your family, because, you know, when I was growing up, this is what happened to me, and I don't want this to happen to my kids or whatever. And, and, and once you get to a point where you cannot— like, there is no further explanation, it is what it is— and that's generally rooted in your love, your feelings for others and for yourself. And that's where— that's, that's when you know, you know, this is your true why. Another exercise could be, you know, if you really want to understand what What is your vibe? What drives you? Put yourself in those, all those situations and, and just feel, you know. Yeah, are you feeling on the top of your world? Or like, are you— let's say, you know, money is, is, um, is something you're running after. Maybe, you know, take, uh, uh, if you have a line of credit, like take out $20,000, $30,000, $50,000, whatever. Put it, put it all over your bed and, and sleep in it and see what kind of feeling you get. Is this You know, is this, uh, giving you like a feeling that, um, that you don't care about anything else in life anymore? If, if not, then that's not your value, that, that's not your why, you know. Go to the next level and see, you know, if the house is your why, you know. Just try to stay away from your house or think about something happened to your house, something broke down. How did it make you feel? Like, was that the end of the world? If not, then go deeper, deeper. And when you get to a point where you find something like, oh, you know, if something, uh, like, you know, you, you reach a point where you say, okay, you know, my, my wife, my family, my kids. And now you say, okay, you know, if I'm separated from my kids one day, how do I feel? And when I, when I enjoy, you know, one hour of, uh, a good time with my kids, how does that make me feel? And that feeling will tell you, you know, this is, this is it, you know. It's like tuning a radio, right? So you just fine-tune it, fine-tune it until you find the frequency.

So should people not expect to have this answered overnight? This can take days, this can take weeks, this can take months, this can take years.

I mean, yeah, uh, because, uh, if you think about it, uh, majority— 90— like, again, you know, uh, I've read some scientific studies on this. 90% of the people are not self-aware. They think they are self-aware, but they're not self-aware. So you can imagine, 90% of the people come onto this, uh, They live their entire life, 100 years or so, not knowing who they are. They leave the earth, um, and so much is left at the table in terms of their life enjoyment they could have had, you know, the time they could have invested in all that stuff. Um, it's a worthwhile exercise, but it doesn't mean that, you know, most people go through it. Uh, something has to trigger that. Uh, I was— and that's what I always say as well, like, you know, these challenges people talk about they are in fact the biggest gifts that you can get because these are the challenges that drive your, you know, forces you to pick your path. If you don't have these challenges, you know, I could have landed up dead, I could have landed up in a jail or whatever. But those challenges were the ones that led me to seek something. So it's all sort of, you know, connected in a way that if you take life as it comes, it actually unravels in a very beautiful way.

Yeah. Well, that's everything that you and I are doing in that similarity is, I know I have this mission of helping people minimize their stressors and maximize their potential. And when a client comes in and they say, "Well, how are you going to help me?" I said, "Well, I can't help you until I know exactly what your core values are." Because I can make, right? My job as a therapist is not to make suggestions and to do experiments. My job is to help you uncover your own truths and help you figure out that the decisions you've been making have probably been based on a false premise, right? As we were talking about before with that narrative. So I do need to know, and I send them home with a worksheet, whether it's a couple, whether it's a business, right? Whether it's a high school kid, I want to know your core values. And from there, I'm going to help you create a path that will get you to where you want to be that's in alignment with that. From there, we will go and say, okay, now once I know your core values, tell me what are your 5 highest priorities in your life? And they'll come up with a list like, oh, my family, my social life, my health, my business, whatever, making money, whatever it may be. Okay. Now tell me what your typical daily schedule looks like. And we'll find, like you said, that like 90% of people are not self-aware, even though they might say they are. I will find that 90% of a person's life is completely out of alignment with the priorities that they say that they want.

Yeah, right.

And I love it when like a couple comes in like, we want to be the best couple ever and we've done everything. I'm like, oh, okay, what books have you read on relationships?

Yeah, nothing.

What YouTube videos have you watched? Nothing. Who have you talked to? Minister, pastor, rabbi, priest, guru, shaman? Zero. Okay, so you say you want X, but you've done absolutely nothing about it. How much of it is all talk and how much are you willing, really ready, willing and able to do? And that's where I start the conversation.

So true. I mean, I was just talking to somebody somebody yesterday, really, a well-known personality, like, you know, like, very well-known personality in Hollywood. And they were saying the same thing. A lot of people talk, but nobody takes action. And that's the key.

Yeah. Well, one of my favorite quotes from one of my mentors, Dr. Scott Walker, who's the founder of Neuro Emotional Technique, which is this incredible mind-body healing arts modality, he said, that the universe always rewards the action step. And when my clients come in, the first thing I want to do is congratulate them on showing up, right? Not flaking out, showing up for themself because it's scary. They don't know me yet. They don't know anything about me. Maybe they were referred by a friend. Maybe they just found me on the internet. Maybe they heard a podcast episode. They don't really know me. And how I'm going to relate and interact with them. So that's really scary, and they're being really vulnerable.

Yeah.

So I do believe that once they show up and they show up again and they show up again, but they have to do the work. It's not just coming for the session and then the second they walk out the door, everything is left in my office.

Yeah, implementation, integration is very key.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's a huge part of the self-awareness is how much are you taking what you say you want and now integrating it, making your life that lifestyle by design. Not a lifestyle by reactivity.

Yeah, so true. I mean, all those things you said. Yeah, I mean, if you just unpack them, apply them in your life, it has a life-changing effect.

Yeah, absolutely. So if you were to have this conversation with someone that you were meeting and you knew that you really only had 2 minutes with them and you would never see them again, but you really wanted to take all of your world experiences, all of the wisdom that you've gathered and share it with them. In a way that will hopefully be meaningful and give them some new things to walk away with and maybe even change the trajectory of their life? What would you say?

One is, you know, value yourself. You know, just make sure that you do not take on anybody else's price label and put it on yourself. You know, print out your own price labels and do not compromise on them unless you— and be flexible. You know, if the market tells you that you're not worth that much, then you need to change that price but pick your own price labels. And it doesn't mean in terms of money, in terms of everything else as well, you know, your time, your priorities. So don't let anybody else give them to you. And then the other thing is accept that everybody has faults in them. Nobody's perfect. And, you know, we tend to get bogged down by perfection, perfection of ourselves, perfection of others, and we are so all deeply flawed. And so, you know, just accepting that fact brings about a level of empathy for others that is really comforting because now you're not like constantly finding faults in others and yourself and not, you know, not constantly looking at life as such a negative experience. So I think those are the couple of things that I will say and That's where you start. And obviously self-awareness is a big part of it. And yeah, I mean, it's a journey, very, very fascinating journey. Go on that. I mean, these are first steps I can share. Awesome.

So first, I want to congratulate you on all the success you've had to date. And obviously, I'm looking forward to hearing more about that. And I know that there's some places that people can find you. You know, Instagram is under your name.

No, no. So I couldn't find— I can get the, the name handle, um, so I used, uh, another, uh, nickname one of my friends gave me in 6th grade. But you can just search for my name on LinkedIn or Facebook. Um, so yeah, the, the Twitter handle and the Instagram handle, it's Manoj Agro. Um, they, they tried to shorten my last name, but, uh, just search for me on LinkedIn and Facebook. That's where I'm more active.

And they can also check out your podcast, Bootstrapping Your Dream Show, right? And that's available on all platforms as well. Awesome. So guys, if you listen to today's episode and you found the value in understanding how much mindfulness is and how important mindfulness is, how much meditation can help you on all aspects of your life, even and especially if you're a business owner or an entrepreneur, but even more so in your day-to-day life with your relationships and just your level of self-awareness and you want to hear more, please check out Manoj's books. Please check out his podcast. Go on there, leave him a written review, which will help him get more people to check out his show, as well as if you got value out of this episode or any other episode, please go onto iTunes and leave the You Winning Life podcast a 5-star written review and share it out with your friends and family or anybody else you think would benefit from this. And again, Manoj, thank you so much today.

Thank you so much for having me. Thanks.

Thanks for listening to the You Winning Life podcast. If you are ready to minimize your personal and professional struggles and maximize your potential, we would love it if you subscribed so you don't miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook @JasonWasserLMFT.