Have We Got A Match For You Podcast Season 2 Ep. 1- Emotional Infidelity Part 1

Well, everybody, welcome back to season 2 of the Have We Got a Match for You podcast. I'm Jason Wasser, licensed marriage and family therapist, and I am hanging out with my, my bestie, my buddy, matchmaker extraordinaire, Who are you, in case people don't know you?

Well, now I'm Kober. Hi, Hillel. He's in the other room. Hi, honey. My name is Chava Shehulav Kober. I am a matchmaker, shadchan, dating relationship coach for the last almost decade. And I'm so happy that we are starting season 2 of Have We Got a Match for You podcast. Hi, Jason Wasser. It's so nice to meet you.

Hello. I know, it's insane. I mean, there's been like crazy changes in your life since we last did this. So in case anybody's wondering why the heck we have taken so long since the end of season 1, do you want to just kind of drop the—

I take the full responsibility of procrastinating season 2 because I got remarried. To Hillel Kober, the love of my life. He's in the next room actually commenting on this video, so hi honey. Um, and I procrastinated, so it's my fault. So if you guys were anxiously waiting, I sincerely apologize, but I have— we have tons of new episodes in store for you, tons of exciting topics, heated discussions, and starts tonight. We're excited. So good to be back.

I know, this is so fun. I know how much fun we had and how much you and I talk, you know, when life isn't crazy for both of us. But I think like, what's even greater about all of this is that I feel like I want to sing the song from The Jeffersons because you've moved on up. So not only did you get married, but you moved, right? So—

Where the grass is green.

Where the grass is green, right? Where there's actually grass. Not Florida, but—

No, we moved to Long Island, out of the city.

Those are two words, right? It's not Long Island. It's two separate words.

I'm working on my Brooklyn accent, so it's kind of like moving away from me. It's like Long Island, I'm from Long Island. It's getting there. It's not coffee anymore, it's like coffee. I'm working on it. It takes time.

It's a slight nuance of Eastern, moving further east in New York. So, moving on. Right, right, right, right. So since tonight's, you know, since you moved to Long Island, you're cheating on your hood of where you're from.

That's infidelity.

Right.

Ah, here we go. Okay.

So even though this is a really serious topic.

It is.

So as we were doing research and as I was doing research for this and as we were talking about it, I happened to go through my plethora of too many books that I've gathered over the years. And I have this really interesting book called Emotional Infidelity, which is right the theme of tonight. I'm like, ah, well, that's perfect. Let me grab this off the shelf. It happens to be written by a therapist in Miami. His name is Gary Neumann. And there's some really interesting stuff in this book. And we're going to use it as the basis of just starting our conversation. The caveat is, as you and I discussed previously, is doesn't mean we agree with everything that's being said. We're just using this as a platform to start our conversation and see where it goes with it. Because this is his opinion. He wrote the book, he's the author. I didn't write any books on this. But I think it's a good starting place. And one of the things that I found when I started reading this years and years ago, I'm like, wow, this is really cool. Because his perspective is of writing this For the Masses is a secularized— I can never say that word fast— secularized version of many of the traditional laws of, uh, relationships when it comes to, uh, the dynamics between, um, dating and marriage in the traditional Jewish world, in the traditional Jewish laws. But it became For the Masses, so it's kind of cool that perspective. And again, caveat, we'll see where we go with that. We may or may not agree with everything this person says, but definitely getting it open to conversation. We love to hear people's comments and commentary and what they love, what they don't like, what they agree with, what they don't disagree with. And obviously, Chava has your expertise to throw in.

My opinions and my suggestions and no sugarcoating.

And no sugarcoating. Yeah, sure.

Yes.

So let's start it off. And we're not going to get through everything tonight, but at least we can start the conversation where he talks about 11 great secrets to a marriage. And number 1, he starts off with the idea that commitment is the glue and that you should insulate and protect your marriage against emotional infidelity by avoiding friendships with the members of the opposite sex.

I totally agree.

Why?

Why? First of all, I always speak about this, and I always post it on Facebook and Instagram and social media, that the division of genders is real, and we do this for a reason. Why? Because when you— first of all, forget about the whole dating, courting process and putting your female friends in the friend zone and vice versa. Eliminating potential suitors because you're too afraid to approach them in a romantic setting, so you're just going to friend zone them and then self-sabotage and eliminate potential matches for yourself. Forget about that. But if you're friends with the opposite sex or gender, right, someone is going to fall in love, someone's feelings will get hurt, somebody will invest much more, someone will get jealous if you're dating. It just, it's natural. Biology is, you know, obviously male and female connection, and obviously to procreate. And if you are friends with the opposite sex, it can cause a landfill of disasters. People get emotional, people fall in love behind closed doors, people want that connection, people want that spark. And if someone's attracted to you and you don't feel the same, it can get disruptive. It can, for sure it can. And I always believe to separate the genders. Yeah.

Yeah. And I— and it's interesting because attention We only have a certain amount of bandwidth a day, and we only have a certain amount of energy a day. And this can apply— let's even if we took this away from relationships and we put it into working out, or your job, or parenting if you have kids, or your family, or your health, that there's only a certain amount of attention and energy and bandwidth you have each day. And if our theme in this topic is about how to have healthy relationships overall, to know where you're putting your time, effort, attention, and energy is incredibly, incredibly important. So I would— I don't know if I would say to go as far as cutting out everybody that you can potentially be attracted to, to that extreme of making it a 1 or a 0, because we do live in a modern society. We do go to work. We do, you know, if you're— and if you're not working, but you decide to stay home to parent a kid, you are going to be go to the gym, you've gone to the grocery store, you're going to see other friends and families. So we're not in an isolationist paradigm. But what I think maybe we can look at it, the perspective is to be honest with yourself, which is really our conversations that you and I always have is self-awareness, self-awareness, self-awareness, self-awareness, right? Someone has to be truly honest with knowing their predisposition, with knowing their personality, with knowing how they in an unhealthy way get their needs met. And if it happens to come from someone when you're in a relationship, from someone that you're not in a relationship with, be it whatever gender, could be even same-sex gender, right? Then you're not putting the right time, effort, and energy into the growth of your relationship. Now, it doesn't mean that your partner should be the end-all be-all, and you should expect everything and anything from them in order to resolve or rectify your own stuff.

That's codependency.

That's codependency, which we're going to get back into in a minute, right? Which is part of the things that he lists. But I think for a second to take a real, true, honest, emotional, intellectual accounting of Do I, in any way, shape, or form, have my ego needs met by spending time with people, talking to people, even casually, for the attention, for the even non-physical affection, for the feeling good about myself in a way that does not benefit the boundaries, sanctity, health of the agreement of that relationship that I'm in, right?

And that also incorporates the whole topic of— on the concept of setting boundaries, right? If you happen to be lonely one night and you're texting your female companion, hey, how you doing, it can be misleading, you know, and then feelings get hurt. So you have to focus on where you want to emotionally invest into and not create these type of false relationship hopes, if I can use that term.

Yeah. So how much of clarity, right, when someone is getting to know someone, or they meet each other at one of your events, right?

Right.

And they show up and they become friendly, and they reach out to each other and they connect. But one might have the intention of, I've already friend-zoned them, and the other person might have the perspective of, oh, I'm really interested.

Yes.

How do, how do both sides, from your perspective, I mean, I already know the answer of what I would say, but I'm curious, like, How do both sides navigate that with clarity?

Being open and transparent with your feelings and true intent. You know, let's say, for example, a couple meets at my events, for example, right? And the guy isn't interested or isn't attracted to her, and she feels the opposite. My first of all, feelings do get hurt, right? But at the same time, I mean, you have to be very gentle with this whole process with your intent. I, you know, I am not interested, you know, in you. I don't feel like you're a suitable match for me. And it's okay, it's okay that you don't find another person to be your source of happiness. And no one should feel upset or hurt, especially knowing if you're going to be going through this process of friend-zoning each other, casually texting each other during the middle of the night, or going out for drinks at the bar and, you know, not having that type of connection, this type of not relationship but more of a committed connection, and just going out nonchalantly. Somebody will fall fall in love, somebody will get hurt most of the time. Not every single time, but most of the time. And that's why we try to, try to implement this whole concept of not misleading each other. If you're not interested, be upfront with your intentions. Set those boundaries for yourself, man or woman, doesn't, doesn't matter. Like, you have to set your boundaries and your intent, what you like to pursue, what you don't want to pursue, in the very beginning of the connection, not 2, 3, 4 months, 5 months later, misleading the other person. Yeah.

And I'm hearing this often from people that they're going up, they're going to events and like, I'm going to a singles event, I'm going to meet people, but they're not going in with the clear intention or sharing their clear intention of what they're looking for that night if they meet somebody. And I think that leads to a lot of confusion where if you're going to a singles event, then A, if you're already dating someone, don't go to the event because that happens all of the time.

And it blows up, blows up in their face because we find out. Right, right.

Well, you're much more involved than other possible potential events because not everybody really cares. But I know as part of the community that you've created, that's conscious, uh, yeah, to be right, to be mindful of that. But a lot of people are like, well, I went on 3 or 4 dates with someone, but I'm still going to go to the singles event.

Nope. And I think setting that standard— let's say you go on a date with someone Okay, romantic date. Now I'm not talking about friend casual, let's go to the coffee bar. But if you're connected with someone, you're dating someone, right? After the second or third date, what's, what's happening here? Are we exclusive? Are you still open to other suggestions? Don't assume that the other party feels the same way. After a couple of dates, 2, 3 dates in, okay, where is this going? Do you feel the same way? Do you want to pursue? Is there potential? Do we match? Is there chemistry? Is there, you know, physical attraction? If you don't speak up and set that boundary for yourself, you're essentially allowing someone else to lead your life without controlling the future. Like, you can't— you can't allow it to happen. And again, if you're dating someone more than 4 dates, I don't suggest going to a singles party or singles event. Please don't do that. It's not nice. Even if you haven't discussed exclusivity, please be open and say, look, you know, we are seeing each other for a few weeks. Is it okay if I go to this party? Out of respect, be a mensch about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I see that again, like, all the time of people like, oh yeah, I went on this date. And I'm like, well, what date was it? They're like, I don't know, date 5, date 7. Oh, we went out like 8 times, whatever. I'm like, well, why are you here? And like, well, it's not so serious. Well, does that other person know that? And I'm not sure if we discussed this last season, but I know you and I might have talked about this where there The question that I think people need to ask once it gets past date 2, date 3, date 4, and they're like, okay, this might be a person I do want to spend more concerted time with and more, you know, navigate a possibility of relationship, is asking the following question. Not only are you dating other people, but does anybody else exist that thinks that they might be in a relationship with you? Is there anybody out there that you have talked to, that you might have talked to up until the time of tonight, that might think that you guys are in a relationship?

That kind of sums it all. It happens quite often, more than we think it does. It happens quite often. Why? Because when you— so I tell my clients, and many of them are actually in the group on JDS, I tell all my clients, before you date, first of all, make sure you're emotionally stable and healthy. Before you commit to dating. That's step number 1, right? And that's with a licensed therapist and a counselor, so on and so forth, right? Not a dating coach. We're not therapists here. But when you are ready to date, when you are emotionally aware of, you know, in a healthy mindset, pen and paper homework. You write down your, your, your, your hashkafa list, your spiritual list, core values list, exactly what you need and what you want as a woman, as a man. And then when you are ready to date, you look for this in the partner, right? But When you aren't focused and you're dating multiple people, speaking to multiple people, there's no way you are dedicated to that one person. You're all over the place. First of all, how do you keep track of speaking to multiple people? It's very confusing. It's, it's confusing, and you're dating without intent, and it's just, it's destructive behavior.

Well, and I think that breaks down the terminology of how people are going into dating. The, all the different levels or terminologies that are out there. I went on a date, we're dating, we're seeing each other, right? Whatever variation or variables that we can call it, but it's, but it's still, it doesn't matter what terminology, but to seek clarity, to seek consistency. What is this? So if we're seeing each other, What does seeing each other mean to both people? What is that, right? Make sure that you're on the same page of what that definition means, because you can create whatever rules you want, as long as you're in agreement on both sides of the table. So for some people, seeing each other might mean we're dating, and some people might say dating is different than being in a relationship. And as long as we're just dating, we both can see. Well, do both of you know that? And have both of you agreed to that? And what's one of the biggest factors I see, and I see this more commonly with females than males, is that they're afraid to ask for that data because they don't want to scare off the guy by being way more serious and way more eager, or, you know, I'm putting it all out on the table and I don't want to be rejected, so I'm going to back up a little bit and I'm going to be sitting in my own uncomfortability so I don't risk screwing this up, even though they're confused and they're not sure where they're standing, right?

But then that comes from a lack of self-respect, lack of self-value. Your time is important to you, right? Every minute of your life needs to be accounted for, right? So where you apply your energy is what gets reciprocated back into your life, into your world, into, into your you know, frequency. So if you are too shy, too timid to ask the person that you're investing yourself into, essentially you're losing it for yourself, right? You're not investing into yourself. If you have self-respect, if you're confident, you shouldn't be concerned about how the other person reacts. Be more concerned about wasting your time, right? For instance, I mean, I've dated last several years After date number 2, 3, okay, where the heck is this going? Are you wasting my time? And chances are, usually, you know, the person that you're dating is upfront. Oh my God, this is too scary for me. Is he ready? Is she ready? You know, but you have to understand, you know, your value and knowing what you're worth, and every single second of your life needs to be accounted for. You can't expect someone to take control of that.

So it's interesting, on my You Winning Life podcast, I interviewed these, um, husband and wife that were chiropractors, and then they went into the coaching world and working with other businesses. And they said the number one success factor for people to have exponential success and expedited, expedited success is decisiveness in their decision-making and knowing when to move forward or knowing when to cut their losses. And they see that time and time again in the professional world of when they have that decisiveness of asking for what they want, of negotiating, of putting it out there. This will either work. This is how we need to like, right? Let's navigate what needs to happen in order for that to move to the next level, right? Whether it's hiring, whether it's partnering with business, whether it's buying product, whatever it may be, it's decisiveness. And I really do see that as a commonality in relationships that we may say that we know what we want. But like you said, if with core values, but putting that out there and being absolutely completely decisive with, do they meet the core values? Do they meet the philosophical lifestyle? Do they meet the attraction level that has to be there? And are we talking more about what we both want versus hopefully we're going to go another 5 feet and then, you know, the, the lamp, the headlight is going to shine the next 5 feet and then we're going to move there and then it's going to shine, as opposed to being more decisive and more discerning with, yes, you should enjoy the relationship. Yes, you should enjoy the time together. But there also should be that the duality of being concise and being decisive. What is the outcome that I want? And a lot of people are just saying, 'Well, I'll know when I get there. I'll know if it's the right one if I want to get more serious.' You're wasting your time.

Then what are you looking for? Time? Days? Months? Years? So essentially, so you're just going to put it out there, they can date somebody for no timestamp. I mean, if you're dating without intent, you can date the other person for months maybe even years. And then what? And then 2, 3, 4 years later, like, wait, he's not committing to me, she's not interested in me. You've wasted years of your life, months of your life. So why not, you know, clear your losses, learn from your experiences, gain some knowledge, gain some self-respect, and say, look, what's the story between you and I? I'm, you know, as we say in Hebrew, we're takhlis. I'm serious. I have a purpose. Like, This is what I want. Yeah, this is what I'm looking for. Like, you know, you're a serious type of candidate, like yes or no. But essentially, it's all about creating this circle of energy of self-respect, knowing what you're looking for, demanding answers for your time. Otherwise, you know, you're just allowing someone to control your existence. Like, who wants that really? Right.

Well, one of the persons One of my old friends, Joe, just commented, it's like trading stocks. And I get that concept. It's like someone buys, they want to do a quick trade, buy in, buy out of a stock. And then if they don't sell it by a certain point, they're like, they go from instead of like day trading, all of a sudden it becomes a long-term investment. If they miss the moment where like they buy it, they're waiting a few hours and they don't miss them and they miss the mark to sell it, right, to day trade or short-term trade, then all of a sudden they're flat. Well, I guess it's a long-term hold. I guess I'm investing, right? And in relationships, we make that mistake. That goes back to the episode on my other podcast of sliding versus skiding, where you entrench yourself in each other's lives so much that it becomes so difficult to differentiate and decompartmentalize. Well, your lease is up, and we've been together, so we might as well move in. But they're still like, well, let's see how it goes. And oh, like, You want to get a new cell phone contract? Well, if we bundle it onto mine, you'll save some money, right? And all of a sudden you start building this, this, you know, fake obligations without the long-term decisive commitment of— right? The commitment becomes we have obligated ourselves on all of these paperwork and rent and car payments and AT&T bills and internet and Netflix accounts that we're all sharing anyway with each other. But like, uh, Chava, what's your Netflix account? We can share it with everybody. There you go. So someone can, someone reach out to Chava.

No, for the past 2 years, but we haven't had a Netflix account.

Can someone give Chava your Netflix password, please?

If freelance producers— right.

Right. So that, so that whole sliding versus deciding is that doubling down where, well, it's, it's, it's too late to pull the plug. We're already so invested. We're already so far. It would be a waste of, right? But yet, you know, that this isn't working. And one of those things that happens is that if the relationship is not on that solid ground, that's when people start letting cracks into the armor. That's when people start like, well, like, can I, like, I can't really directly, like, I don't want to like ruin it. But, you know, I'm not going to be so careful with where I'm putting my time, effort, and energy. And then there is a possibility that we're this type of vibe can show up. And all of a sudden, you're hanging out at work with someone, like, at a specific time. And like, I hope they, you know, I know they go for a snack at 2:30, and, you know, to the machine, and let's bump into each other. And then you start talking, and then you start getting comfortable, and then you start sharing stuff, and then you're talking more to— I mean, I'm not catastrophizing here. This is exactly what happens. This is every Lifetime movie. So The Bachelor. So, right, or in real life, it's right, that overfamiliarity. And I think that's what, you know, in this book they're talking about is, is emotional infidelity is not just about an action, but it's really about your mindset. If you don't know what you want, you're not putting time, effort, energy into that outcome. You're, you're, you're, you're slowly creating a vacuum of space for other stuff to creep in.

Wow, blown away by that. Yeah, remark. Exactly, exactly. And, and, and you're not happy with yourself when that happens. When you're trying to fill that void within you, you're actually dragging somebody else's emotions through the mud as well. So when you're trying to fill that void, first of all, when there's no commitment, when there's a lack of intent and lack of, okay, you know what, there's no commitment here, there, and I'm not so sure. You're not fully invested into the other person, and it's not fair, it's not right, it's not fair. And it's, it's essentially, you're just— I mean, and again, infidelity is trauma. It's not, it's not even emotional infidelity. Again, we can discuss what infidelity means. I mean, what is infidelity? What is, you know, considered infidelity? But any type of infidelity, whether it's emotional affairs or physical affairs or or even just the imagination of sleeping with someone else who is not your partner, all of this can create trauma within the relationship. And this is not something that you can just put a Band-Aid on and move forward. This is, you know, this is forever.

Yeah. And we can go into the debating of like, where are the thoughts when you're thinking about someone or not? And I know there's like, you know, that whole shmuli b'teich world of kosher sex and kosher adultery and all that stuff, which which, you know, people can love or hate. And again, we're not here standing by any one of these opinions. It's just, there's so many different paradigms and so many different perspectives of what's healthy, what's not healthy. But I think what I'm experiencing in my, you know, my years of practicing, especially with couples, is it has to be in mutual agreement. And it has to be discussed and has to be proactive. And it has to be, what are the boundaries? What are the circumstances? When— what's okay? What's not okay? When is something okay? When is something not okay? And being constantly checking in with each other, not out of, um, not out of unhealthiness, not out of insecurity, but because that type of conversation creates security. Those type of checking-ins add on to and enhance the intimacy of a relationship.

Absolutely. And people have this connotation of just connecting, you know, bringing up hot topics as something negative. It's not negative at all. It exemplifies a relationship. It makes each— you're allowing that space of open communication, honesty, transparency to exist within the union. When you're afraid to bring up these type of topics, then if you're walking around eggshells, I'm afraid to ask for questions, I'm afraid to see if he's— if his needs are being fulfilled, then there's a lack of security within the relationship. You should feel comfortable speaking with each other. You should feel open to speak with each other, like, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Absolutely not. Actually, you can enhance your relationship.

Well, this is what I realized also, right? It's now the end of 2021, but I've, I've had this for a while, this, this perspective, which is someone who's looking for their own needs to be met outside of a relationship, if they meet someone, they're probably really not going to care whether you in a relationship or not, if they're solely looking for their own egotistical, selfish needs to be met, especially the more chaotic their life is, especially the more unhealthy they are, the more unrealized their own stuff is, right? But it really goes back to our boundaries, our saying no, our saying, this is not part of my life. I'm sorry, I can't talk to you, hang out with you. I have a vibe of where this is going. I can kind of tell that you're overstepping boundaries. So, so the understanding of that, but I really do believe that someone who wants to find that, whether they're the person who wants that are in a relationship looking to go out of the relationship, or step around the relationship, or a person who doesn't care whether the person that they're interested in is or is not in a relationship, they're going to make that outcome happen. And it's up to the person to maintain their boundaries.

I agree with you, totally agree with you. And it all starts with self-awareness, looking out for signs within the relationship. If something is off, if you feel something is wrong, if your intuition is, is alarming you, if you feel like there's no communication between you two, if there's lack of conversations, lack of eye contact, lack of physical affection, you know, the spark is kind of, you know, what's that word I'm looking for? When the spark is withering away. I don't know what that— what the word—

yeah, withering away.

Yeah, grab it, grab it while it's there. Don't allow— when you see these type of signs, are we— are the signs usually there? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But it all starts with being aware of your relationship, aware of your boundaries, aware of the signs, aware of the, of the union. You know, you have to, you have to be aware and conscious about it. Yeah, if you guys are not talking to each other and, you know, there's a distraction elsewhere, you know, if there's physical intimacy that's missing, then most likely it's being fulfilled someplace else.

Yeah, and I want to add the trust but verify perspective is that they may say it and they may say everything is okay and they may say, "I'm not going anywhere or doing anything," or, "Of course everything's okay," But verify with interactions and engagements between the two of you as well. Because there— every person who I've ever seen retroactively, it's very rare where someone's like, I was completely blindsided by this. Because you will find people that know both of you who will be like, uh, the signs were there. How did you not see it? And if you are the person who has not seen it in previous relationships, and it's happened at least once, or if it's happened to you in a pattern of relationships, then you got to get into therapy to figure out why the heck I am completely choosing to not understand that process, the pattern, the experience, the questioning, the verification, whatever's going on in you, figure out what's going on before you move on to your next—

attract same partners. Yep. Yep. Right.

Which is what we talked about in the middle of season 1. Why do you attract completely what you attract? So I think like, as we, as we kind of wrap up, you know, uh, today's conversation of boundaries, right? I think this is really one of the, the things that everybody's going to hear us constantly talking about over and over again in different variations is core values, boundaries, consistency, self-awareness, self-care, asking what you want, for making sure you are prioritizing your needs. And I'm not talking about in a selfish way. No, I'm talking about prioritizing your needs in the healthiest way possible. Because if you don't ask, you won't get.

Exactly.

And be committed to that. And if you're not committed to that, you can't have commitment in a relationship.

Nope, it starts with you. And we— I think we said this before in this— in season 1, everything starts with you, you know. Everything starts with you. It's best to work on yourself, best to understand your, your boundaries and what the boundaries are, you know. And again, reaching out to a licensed therapist, counselor, someone to help guide you along this journey of dating and relationships, and, you know, and steer you in the right direction. It's always good to have a therapist on hand. I have one. I do.

Besides me.

Besides, yes, I do. I do have a therapist. I'm very proud to say it. Um, everyone has this negative connotation, oh, I have a therapist, or keep it quiet. Not at all. It doesn't have to be negative. It could be something that's going to enhance, you know, your lifestyle, your, your, you know, self-interest. Self-introspection is important.

Right.

Yeah. Yeah.

I just had this conversation with David Meltzer, who is an incredible coach and speaker, attorney. I mean, big in the tech world. For anybody who's seen Jerry Maguire, the world famous, right, Jerry Maguire movie with Tom Cruise. So the movie was based on a real attorney who was a sports agent. And David Meltzer in real life was the CEO for that law firm, for that person's law firm. But he's— those who follow him on social media, you probably have seen him. Pop up. But I just had him on my— on the You Winning Life podcast. And he was straight up talking about like, getting, you know, as a business person, as an entrepreneur, as an adult, as a father, as a husband, he's like, coaching is one thing. But he's like, I'm— he's like, I'm in therapy. And here's the trauma. And here's what I need to— and here's how it shows up in my relationships and my life and my business. And to really commit to that process, to solve whatever you need to solve, once and for all, so you can have the life and the relationships and the success and the all the good stuff that's happening. So it's a good place for us to hold.

Yes.

Right. As we, as we turn back to season 2, and for those of you who are just joining us for the first time, we just ask a simple favor. If you've gotten any benefit from this, whatever platform that you are listening to us on, whether it's iTunes or Spotify or Amazon or whatever, all the things, hit subscribe. And if you are listening to us on iTunes, please, please, please not only just subscribe, but leave us a favorable review. And if you hated it, leave us a review that you hated it and tell us why so we can continue to improve it. What topics, right? Leave us a pos— you know, just let us know. Let us know how you're doing. And if you want to reach out to us, you can reach out to me on @youwinninglife on Instagram and Chava, for you, they can find you on Instagram?

They can find me on Instagram and Facebook under Chava Shaulov. Or they can join our dating and relationship group called Jewish Divine Soulmates on Facebook. We're about to hit 10,000 people in about a year. So it's a very happening, growing group. So you can find me on either platform.

Yeah, and here's the caveat, and there might be people out there listening that are not Jewish and not part of the Jewish community, but it doesn't mean that—

doesn't mean anything—

you and I are not available and accessible to give the resources or tools or all that stuff. So, you know, although one of the communities that we are targeting this podcast to is the Jewish community, but anybody out there, this is all good for all, good for all time zones. And obviously between Chava and I, we have amazing resources that we can put you in front of and book recommendations and podcasts and besides ours, right, of all the good stuff. That's out there for everybody. So again, if you also think that this is an episode or previous episodes that would be beneficial, send it off to a friend, and that'll help us get this out and help others in the way that we wanted to do this. So Chava, it's been too long.

Thank you, Jason. It's been too long, but we're so happy we're back. We're back in action. Season 2, Episode 2 coming soon.

All right, y'all.

Yes, good night everyone. Thank you for joining us. Thank you, Jason Wasser.