Ryan Serhant, a real estate mogul and self-described introvert, explains why listening matters more than talking. He uses improv classes to teach his agents to add value by responding thoughtfully rather than dominating conversations. Digital habits have eroded genuine communication, he says, but mastering this skill transforms both personal and professional life.
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You know how many people have a hard time talking to other people? And I clarify actually and say talking with people. There's a lot of people who could talk at people and can talk to people, right? Those are the people that don't shut up. And then you hear them talking and they're talking, they're talking, and they're not connecting. They're not talking with anybody. It's just noise coming at somebody. That's one end of the spectrum. The other end of the spectrum is the people who don't talk, who are quiet, right? Who are shy. That was the me. I was never the guy that would go up to anybody and just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Hopefully something sticks and be, you know, talking to Susie over here. Um, I was a guy that went into the corner, looked at my phone. I was the nervous guy. I was like, I don't have anything to say. I don't even know what do I say. I don't know. I can't literally think of anything. And so I'd rather not say anything. Um, the middle of the spectrum where you want to be is the person who always has something to say of value. And you talk with people, you listen to them, hear what they're saying in order to respond instead of just listening to them and hear what they're saying in order to reply, right? There's a big difference and it is a real skill. Like we're, we're shooting a, a new TV show here now, right? Um, here at the company and the agents that are part of it, um, I have taking improv classes, literally not to become actors, right? It's a reality show. Like we do, we don't, you know, this is no scripted dramas over here. But so that they can learn how to talk. Because you don't, you don't realize, like, you take two people who are in their 30s, you're like, all right, have an argument, and they start talking over each other immediately. Like, nope, can't do that. One person has to talk, the other person has to listen. So, um, I would— people do not know how to communicate. And, um, because we spend so much time communicating with our thumbs and our fingers, and our attention spans have gotten so minimal, it's become even worse. So number one thing I would have anyone do, if you're in sales or any, any industry, learn how to communicate, learn how to talk to people. It's, it'll open up your, your life, it'll change your life.
It's so interesting as you're relating to that. And as I have, you know, gone through my own journey where I grew up a natural introvert, and for a while, I was just, just a therapist in this small office and didn't put myself out there.
