Ryan Serhant asked a friend named Alex for brutal, unfiltered feedback on how he comes across to prospects. Most salespeople don't know how they're actually perceived because people avoid confrontation. Serhant used this honest mirror to align his internal identity with his external image and close more deals.
Chapters
Like, what is your core identity? Who are you and how do people know you? One of the things that I did when I first got into sales, um, because I was confused why I was losing deals and losing business, I didn't get it. I'm the greatest guy ever. I'm the only guy I know, right? Like, I'm stuck in— you're stuck in your head. You have no idea how you come across to other people. You don't know, did I say the wrong thing? Did I not say— did I not say enough? I have no idea. So obviously you can ask for feedback, but most people never want to give confrontational feedback, right? They're not going to say, actually, 'You're really nice, but, um, you're just a young kid and you had really bad breath and your clothes are weird.' Like, no one's ever going to be that honest with you because it does them no favors, right? There's no value to somebody else in giving you brutal honesty that might actually help you. Um, and so I actually found a friend who was super honest. It wasn't my best friend, wasn't a nobody, but kind of like in that middle line of friendship, kind of like a more than an acquaintance. His name is Alex. And I remember asking him, like, can you do me a favor? Can you just be as honest as possible? Like, don't hold back. And he's like, yep, totally. Like, all right, I haven't even asked you the question yet. Can you just describe me to myself as if, without using my name, as if you were talking to somebody else? Like, who am I to you without saying Ryan and without saying Sirhan? And he was like, oh yeah,
