You Winning Life Podcast guest/Jose Flores "Won't Stop Till I Win" hosted by Jason Wasser, LMFT

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That's fine. I'm recording on my end. So what I'll do is I'll just retransfer it to you afterwards.

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All right. I have Google Drive. You have Google Drive?

Google Drive it.

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Beautiful. All right. Awesome. Nice. Everybody, welcome back. Today we welcome an amazing person who, along with his wife Drea, has become a really good friend of mine here in South Florida over the past 2 years. Jose Flores is a CEO and founder of Indispensable Now. He's a certified Les Brown speaker, trainer, and coach, consultant, and author of the book Don't Let Your Struggle Become Your Standard. He educates, inspires, and engages individuals and businesses to strengthen their mental toughness and to develop into indispensable leaders by connecting with them, touching their hearts, and giving them a fresh perspective. Jose, thanks so much for hanging out tonight.

Hey man, thanks for having me. I've been looking forward to this for a while now, man.

Right. It's the good things that we have to keep pushing and pushing and life happens and gets in the way. We both got sick and thankfully we're both doing relatively okay and relatively better.

So yeah, yeah.

So yeah, so for people who haven't heard of you, I know that like you're making quite a buzz here in South Florida and you're traveling a little bit more, but for those listeners who are outside of South Florida, start off with who you are and where you come from.

Yeah, so, so, you know, I was born in Bronx, New York, so I'm a city boy, New Yorker all the way, home of the brave Yankees and Giants, you know what I'm saying? But, um, Yeah, you know, I had a great childhood. I grew up in the city, you know, uh, had a phenomenal family, phenomenal childhood, phenomenal upbringing. Went to private school for, you know, 8 years, and then when I went to high school, you know, went to public school. We actually moved out of the city a little bit, upstate New York, um, because obviously, you know, my parents didn't want me going to high school in the Bronx because, you know, you can become a product of your environment, right? So, but, um, yeah, I had a great childhood, but, you know, I was born with a neuromuscular condition called spinal muscular atrophy. It is in the muscular dystrophy family, just like ALS, you know, Ice Bucket Challenge, and several others. Like, I think there's like 42 or 43 different types of muscular dystrophies. Mine is called spinal muscular atrophy, and what that basically does is the older I get, the weaker my muscles get. So there's a deficiency in one of the motor neurons, and, you know, I don't usually like to get too scientific because most people aren't into that type of stuff, but there's a deficiency in one of my survival motor neurons. They call it SMN1. And because there's a deficiency, that's what causes my body to get weaker as I get older. But like I said, when I was younger, I was able to walk and run, ride bike, climb trees, do all the stuff that, you know, healthy, healthy young boys do. But then when I got into high school, that's when, you know, my body really started to, you know, this condition really started to kick in and my body started to give up on me. And it was difficult because, you know, high school, that's like, you know, that's like a big thing. You're in high school now, you're trying to figure yourself out. Identify with who you are, who you want to become, who you want to be around. And at the same time, I got this thing attacking my body, and I'm like, what the heck is going on? And so high school was fun, but it was also difficult towards the latter part of my high school years, you know, junior, senior year. That's when it really started to kick in heavy, and it started to become difficult for me to, you know, just get dressed and go up and down the stairs and sit and stand. I can still do it, but it just became more difficult. And so the funny thing about this condition is that it doesn't just kick in from one day to the next. It's like a very slow progressive condition. So I don't keep track. I couldn't keep track of when I stopped being able to lift my arms above my head or bend over or get up or just do certain things on my own. I just know that every couple of years there was a new level of decrease in mobility. And with that new level of decrease of mobility, I was— my whole life, man, I've always had to learn how to adapt and adjust, not only physically but mentally with the new level of decreased mobility that I had to, that I had to deal with and persevere through, right? And so the doctor said that by the age of 15 I would end up in a wheelchair. That didn't happen until I was 22 years old. So again, you can imagine another pivotal moment in everyone's lives is like 21, 22, you're like an official adult now, you're gonna go see what life has for you, and here I am and I lose my ability to walk from one day to the next. So that was horrible in itself. And then they weren't even expecting me to live past my teenage years, but the good news out of all of that is that I'm still here, I'm still kicking life's butt. This, uh, actually, um, I don't know when this is going to be dropping, but February of this year, 2020, I'm going to be turning, uh, on the 25th, uh, 43 years old. So happy birthday. Thank you, man. Still kicking life's butt, brother.

Yeah. So go back to this high school, right? So you're in high school and that's the time where like identity's really being formed and peer pressure is probably at its biggest and developmentally, right? You're trying to figure out where you want to go, where you want to be, and you're dealing with this medical issue. What was that like for you? Cause you said like, I had to constantly change my mindset. What was that like for you as a teenage guy, right? Where, you know, when we think at that age bracket, we're at the height of our abilities and capabilities and our swagger and, and, and right. All that stuff. Life is all ahead of us, as they say. What were those like dark moments like? And like, because I know that part of who you are, part of your brand is a mindset disruptor. So what was that like for you at that time before you really got into this self-development, personal growth, mentorship mindset in your life?

Yeah. You know, you know, at the time I was going through that, brother, it was horrible, man. It was horrible, but I definitely believe that going through that is what made me who I am today. It's what made me who I am today. But in high school, man, like you said, you know, you're trying to figure out who you are, what you want to do with your life when you graduate. And, you know, most people are thinking about college and careers. And to be honest with you, man, I was just thinking about staying alive. The doctor said they weren't even expecting me to live past my teenage years. So in my head, I'm in survival mode. I'm like, man, I just gotta be— I just gotta survive to live. I wasn't thinking about college. I wasn't thinking about a career because to me, none of that was going to be attainable for me. So I didn't put too much thought on it. I was just trying to say like, just live one day to the next, you know. But, um, you know, like I said, it was very, very difficult because There were times, man, I was so afraid to even leave my house because this condition, as it started to progress, my leg would just give out and I would fall on the floor at random moments, brother. At random moments, at random times, unexpectedly. And because it was weakening my body, you know, I couldn't break the fall. Like, you know how like when you trip, you can kind of catch yourself and whoa, whoa, whoa. But for me, if I trip, I'm going down, bro, like a sack of potatoes. And I can't even begin to tell you, man, how many bones I've broken and scars I have on my head and on my body from the falls, from banging into stuff and hitting my head on the corner of a shelf and busting my head open. But, you know, I would just drop like a sack of potatoes. And I was scared to go outside, man, because I would hate to be— and it's happened to me— I'd hate to go to the mall, to the movies, to the pool, to the beach, and my leg give out and I fall. Because, you know, when you're a teenager, man, that's People can be really cruel at that age, you know, and they're laughing. They don't know that I'm dealing with a situation, but they're just laughing because somebody fell and they think it's funny. And so that type of environment and those type of scenarios and situations, I would dread them, brother. I would like— and when I would go out, I would be praying the whole time like, God, please don't let my leg give out. Please don't let my leg give out. And that's how I lived my teenage years. Like I said, I did have fun, but I lived a lot in fear, bro. I lived a lot of years in fear because of of what could happen to me if I would go out in public and how people's reactions would be towards me. And so I kind of like, I felt like I missed out on a lot of things that I could have done because of this condition and, you know, worrying about what people think, thought about me or worrying about what people would say about me. And so sometimes I would even lie and be like, oh, I don't feel well or my legs hurt. And I would just stay home. I'd make up excuses not to be out and about, you know? And, um, You know, that's one thing I regret doing. But again, you're a teenager, you don't really know what's going on, you're trying to deal with this condition, you don't even know what the heck, you know, why you have the condition, how'd you get it. And as a teenager, I wasn't really researching too much of it. I just knew I had this condition and I knew it was going to take its course, but I really didn't— I was like a little in denial too. I didn't want to pay too much attention to it or give it too much energy because again, I was in survival mode and I'm just trying to get from one day to the next, one day to the next, and live and stay alive.

How many times do you find, like, because now we're gonna flash, you know, fast forward a little bit and then we're gonna come back, but how much do you find that people out there, and I see this all the time in my practice as a therapist, is that they're doing that same mindset? They're just going through day to day to survive. There's no strategic planning. There's no long-term perspective. And I know that when our fight or flight, our reptilian brain kicks in, right, that base survival instinct kicks in, it's very hard to think rationally. It's very hard to think purposefully. How did you start to get control over that aspect of your thought process?

Well, you know, when I was going through those years, I always felt like I would never be able to do anything great in life. I thought that I would never be able to do anything of significance. You know, I thought I was just going to be an average or below average Joe Schmo, you know, from around the block. And It really kicked in for me, man. You know, I was on disability checks for a little while. Actually, I was on survivor benefits because my dad was a Marine who passed away, so I got survivor benefits from that. But then when I turned 18, it turned into disability because I was disabled. And so, man, I just got to the point where I was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired and just living off of a measly $800 and some change a month. I'm like, man, I can't do anything with this. Like, that really was an eye-opener for me because I was really thinking about other people who are disabled or who are on Social Security and they're getting like that fixed income. Like, I don't know how those people survive like that, brother. Like, you talk about survival mode. I don't know how those type of people who are getting those type of checks can survive off of that type of government assistance. So for me, I was like, man, I can't like live a good life living like this. I couldn't see myself living the rest of my life on disability. So I went out and tried to get a job, and obviously I just thought that I would be good at a desk job, like some type of customer service or something, and just have a key, you know, a keyboard, a phone, a headset, and, and a mouse, and I'd be, I'd be okay. So I started working in corporate America for a company, a timeshare company, who I was actually with them for like 10 years. And I moved up. I started like in the trenches and I worked my way up all the way up to manager position, which I always felt pretty accomplished because of that. You know, being in a wheelchair and being able to like get the positions that normal people, you know, would normally get, you know, and I would get those positions. So I have like, I don't have a college degree because again, college wasn't even on my mind, but I have a ton of experience and I have a lot of common sense, right? Which I'm thankful for because common sense isn't so common nowadays.

Right, exactly. And that actually makes the biggest difference in the world. You can have the best college degree in the world, Harvard, whatever it is, but common sense at the— I see people come in all the time and they may be well-educated in the traditional sense, but their ability to just interact with people is so lacking, or knowing how to connect or knowing how to bring value to others. And I think that's one of the things that since I've met you, I know that you're so good at, like you said, customer service. Is really at the end of the day what you're doing, right, when you're speaking and you're engaging with people and all those different things. But it doesn't matter what someone's background is. That's right, right. We're going to connect based on whatever that pure level of being curious and wanting to have interest in that person's life. So at that point, who came first, your wife or Les Brown?

My wife.

Okay, how'd that happen?

Yeah, actually I met my wife at the timeshare company that I was just telling you about. She worked there as well, and she worked there before me actually. So when I worked there, she was already there. And, uh, you know, we met— excuse me— we met and, uh, we had a group of friends that we used to hang out with. And we would, uh, at our job they have this thing called VTO, which is voluntary time off. So like when the timeshare business, there's like high season and low season. So during the low season where it wasn't so busy, they would let you you know, leave work early depending on the call volume and things like that. And you can voluntarily leave. You don't have to use vacation time or anything like that. You would just take it unpaid. So sometimes we would use our vacation time and sometimes we wouldn't. It just depends on where we were at, right? So we had a group of friends about, I would say about maybe 7 or 8 of us that we would do the VTO and we would go to the beach, downtown Fort Lauderdale, or we'd go to MovieCo and watch some movies. Or we'd go to somebody's house and just kind of hang out and play games. And it was a really cool group. We're actually still friends with a lot of them today. And that's how we met. You know, we were just really good friends at first. And one thing that really attracted me to her was that the first time she offered to lift me up, because at that time I used to use a little scooter, not a wheelchair. And that was the— and so when we would travel, like, my friends would have to lift me up like a bear hug, put me in their car, and then kind of put my— take my scooter apart and put it in their trunk. Then wherever we would go, they would reassemble the scooter, you know, lift me out and put me back into the scooter. So I remember the first time she offered to pick me up out of the scooter and put me in the car, and I was like, wow, this girl is amazing. And so, you know, I didn't think anything of it, but I started feeling like, you know, something could be there. I don't— I wasn't really sure, but, you know, so she lifted me up, no problem, like just picked me up. I'm 150 pounds dead weight. She just lifted me up, threw me in the van. I was like, whoa, this chick is pretty strong. And then when we got to the movie theaters, she offered to put me, you know, pick me up again and put me from my scooter into the— that's when the recliners first came out, you know, for those of you who remember the reclining chairs first came out at MovieCo. So she was like, hey man, if you want to hang out and relax with us, you know, I can pick you up and put you in. I was like, nah, nah. She was like, yeah, yeah. So She went ahead and put me in the chair, we sat together, and we were watching a scary movie. And I remember one time she grabbed my leg and I was like, "Ah, okay, okay." So, you know, that's where— that was the beginning of our, you know, of our relationship. And that was almost 20 years ago, you know. And actually this year in July, we got married on 7/7/7. And this year, July 7th, we'll be celebrating 13 years of marriage.

Amazing, amazing. So this journey, right, that has happened. So as you guys got to know each other more and then you guys decided to be in a relationship, what were some of the conversations that you had to have about what life might bring for you? Like you said, right, the doctors were already saying at 15 years old, right, it could have gone either way. And here you were starting this really beautiful relationship with an incredibly beautiful person who is awesome and also hysterical as I've gotten to know her. What were some of those like heavy conversations that you guys had to have due to the circumstances of what was going on in your life?

Yeah, you know, in the very beginning we actually didn't have a lot of conversations about my condition because to her, she didn't see me with the problem or with the condition. She just saw me for who I was, which is one of the things that really gravitate, which would which made me gravitate towards her, and which I really admire and appreciate about her. Because, you know, this type of life, man, you know, being in an intimate relationship like this, you don't find that a lot. You know, it's not common. And so to find somebody who sees past, you know, the issue, right, and they see the person's heart, that's a huge thing for me, man. And again, that was one of my dreams. Like, I was wondering, like, is a woman ever going to love me like this? You know, and man, I'm just so grateful that she just saw past the wheelchair and she saw me for the person that I was— funny, personable, social, you know, good looking as well. Thank God I'm good looking, you know.

You can't forget that.

Yeah, right? And, but you know, when we did start to have those conversations, when things started to get more serious and we were really starting to spend more time with each other, you know, I would constantly ask my wife, man, you know, are you still going to be with me when things get worse?

Right?

Because the condition, it makes my body get weaker as I get older. So I was always asking her that question. And she would get to the point where she would be like, stop asking me that already. I already told you I love you for who you are. No matter what happens, I'm going to be with you. I'm going to be by your side. And, you know, for me, again, that's like a scary position to be in because You know, it's one thing to talk the talk, but it's another thing to walk the walk, right? And so in the beginning, I was very like leery about the whole relationship because I'm like, man, you know, once the next level kicks in, she can just be like, hey, you know, I didn't sign up for this, you know, and get the heck out of Dodge. But, you know, here we are, man, 20 years later, you know, and we're happily married, man. We're not just surviving, we're thriving. We're actually writing a book together now that's going to launch this year. And it's going to be amazing, brother. And we spoke about that briefly, you know, when we were hanging out for Christmas. And so we're writing that book now together because we feel like we have experience and we've overcome a lot of the odds, right? Like people saying like— actually, you know, it's funny, my wife and I joke around all the time that there were people that came to our wedding that were married that now are not married anymore. You know, like about 5 different couples that were at our wedding were married and they're no longer married. And here we are. You know, dealing with the same things that every other marriage deals with, but on top of that, you throw the wheelchair into the mix and that's like a whole nother ballgame now. And we're still here thriving, happy, and moving forward, man.

So what do you think that key difference is, right? Because I would say a good 50% of my practice is couples. What do you think the key difference is that allowed you guys to not only succeed but thrive and not only thrive, but be playful and joyful and crack up and have so many great jokes, right? And I know every time I've seen you guys together or seen the videos or whatever, like, I just know to be able to honor, like, what you guys have is so special. What do you think it is that made it so different for you guys versus those other couples or the couples out there that are just getting waved over by, you know, my way, my life.

Yeah, you know, we're actually writing about that now, and one of the things that, that we feel has helped us in our relationship is that we were really truly good friends before we even got into any type of relationship. We were very, very good friends, and I think that that's foundational to any relationship, any marriage actually, is, is, you know, it's, it's good to be friends first because You know, you can— like, I still have friends from when I was in kindergarten, actually, you know, and I have friends that I went to high school with still, and they're like lifelong friends, right? Because when you build a friendship and you have that sense of honesty and loyalty and respect for one another, that's like one of the pillars of a relationship, any relationship, right? And so we were friends at first, and then, you know, we spoke a lot about this type of stuff in the beginning of our relationship when we were just dating. We talked about being friends first and communicating through the good, the bad, and the ugly, right? Because I had to be real with myself and know that there's certain things that we're going to have to go through that normal able-bodied people don't go through, right? And so we had to have those type of conversations. And are you going to be willing to deal with that? Are you going to be willing to endure and persevere through that? And so those are some of the questions I would ask her. For me, I had no choice. Like, I have to live with this, so I have no other choice but to deal with it, persevere, and endure through it, right? But she has a choice to make, right? She's either gonna be in it with me all the way in, all the way in, and we're gonna ride out together, or when the kitchen gets hot, she gets out the kitchen, right? But like I said, man, the test of time will tell what somebody is and who somebody is, and I'm pretty sure that there's people that, that we were just friends with or just acquaintances, you know, actually, you know, it's funny, we saw somebody that we used to work with together at that timeshare company 20 years ago. We saw them recently at the mall and they were like, wow, you guys are still together? Like, I was like, what do you mean? Were you expecting us to get divorced? You know, but that's kind of like the mentality that a lot of people have, you know, and just for people to see us and see us happy and playful and joyful and content and And with even with our situation, that in itself is an inspiration for single people, you know, married people, newlyweds, people who've been married for a long time that may be going through a dry season, you know, or struggling. You know, it's an inspiration to see a young couple such as ourselves be happy, be content, be joyful, and still have to live a very, very different and unique lifestyle.

Well, as you were talking, I was thinking about all the people out there in the young professional circles who are struggling to find someone, and how much pressure there is in certain communities, certain spiritual groups, that you're really not considered a complete person until you found your match, right? And I know that in different, right, sometimes in some church communities, I know that certain Jewish communities is like that, right? But the idea of building your own identity, forming your identity, is so important. And then finding someone who's a match to that. As the expression goes, there's a lid for every pot, but you got to know what type of, you know, container you want to be to who you want into your life. So when you started talking about her values, when you started talking about how she treated you, when she started— when you started talking about how she looked at you as a whole person, not because of a disability, that's what I want people out there to hear is on the deeper level, when people, especially today with so much of this like throwaway culture, right, in the swipe left, swipe right culture. What are the deeper things that we need to look for? And I always talk about this in a lot of my podcasts, but a lot of my teaching is the core values aspect, that if the person doesn't align with your core values, then it should be a no.

That's right.

How are you going to create things down the road? You're going to avoid so many arguments, you're going to avoid so many fights, you're going to avoid so many disagreements. Now, there's still going to be stuff that comes up in any relationship, as it should. And arguing, disagreeing is not a bad thing. It's how you resolve that. But at the end of the day, you got to find that perfect balance and match for that.

That's right, absolutely. I 100% agree with that. And, you know, those, those signs and those red flags, they're there from the beginning. Sometimes we ignore them, sometimes we just don't want to, you know, recognize them, but they're there. So you definitely have to find somebody who you connect with on a higher level, you know, with the core values, with the morals, with principles, you know. And, uh, And, you know, because I think a lot of times sometimes people just find like a sexual attraction and they think that that's going to last. But man, sometimes in life, you know, especially when you get older, the sex goes, you know, the intimacy goes. But if you have that foundation of friendship and communication, then, then, I mean, we speak to people all the time, man. We meet couples that are mad. Like, actually, just this week we were, um, with a, with a couple that were married for 54 years. 54. And I was like, wow, 54 years. So when I meet people like that that are married like 35+ years, I'm always like, I always ask them, I'm like, well, what's the glue that sticks, that stuck you together for so long? And, you know, we get so many different answers, you know, but the common theme behind that question is always, we love each other and we communicate about everything. That's the two most common themes that we hear, you know, and we compromise.

Right.

And so, um, we just love meeting people like that because it helps us out, you know, in our relationship. But it also helps us like, like for like when we're writing our book now, we have so much information that we're going to be putting out there. Um, we're super excited about that, by the way. We're making a curriculum. There's going to be a journal and a calendar that goes along with it because we have this really cool, um, concept that we incorporated in our marriage. And I can't, you know, put this You know, let the cat out the bag just yet, but just stay tuned for that. It's going to be amazing.

Incredible. And speaking of incredible communication, let's go into the whole Les Brown story, because probably a lot of people have never heard the name Les Brown. And but I would love to hear for you to share one, how you got connected and two, how you built this lifelong personal relationship with him and what that's done for you and how that brought you to becoming a speaker.

Yeah, absolutely. So, man, meeting Les, that changed my life, man. Changed my life completely. So, like I said, I was in corporate America for almost 20 years, and again, I got just sick and tired of just, you know, reaching my lid, so to speak, right? Where like we were talking about. So, I felt like I kept reaching my lid because I didn't have a college degree. I couldn't get to certain promotions or positions because of that, and I think that was hindering me a little bit, even though I had a ton of experience. But I was like, all right, cool, it's whatever. So, I was like, well, what else can I do? You know, I've been doing this desk thing, and, you know, I did sales, customer service, retention. All different type of positions and departments within the organizations. And again, I just kind of got sick and tired of this being at that place. And I said, well, you know, I can't use my arms, I can't use my legs, I can't do this, I can't do that. And it was a mindset shifting that said, okay, well, you can't do all those things, all right, we already know that. Well, what can you do, Jose? And I said, what do you have that you can use? And I said, well, I still have my voice, you know, and I have my mind, I have a sound mind, I have a voice. And I said, well, you know, I've always been a motivator, I've always been an encourager, I've always inspired people. And so I said, you know, let me look into this. So I Googled, I YouTubed motivational speaking and speakers, and a bunch of them came up, but the one that resonated with me the most was Les Brown. So he was my mentor before I even actually met him in person. And I followed everything he did, watched all his videos, followed his social media, his website, everything. So I finally I found out that he was coming down here to Fort Lauderdale and it was an event he was going to be speaking at. He was on tour, so I was like, man, we got to go. I told my wife, we got to go, we got to go see this guy. So we went, you know, and it's a funny story and it's in my current book that's out right now. It's called Don't Let Your Struggle Become Your Standard. I really talk about it in detail because it's really a powerful story on how that whole thing happened. But, you know, to make a long story short, you know, I saw him the first time speak I couldn't catch up with him then. Saw him a second time and actually spoke on the same stage with him that second time, and that was actually the largest group of people that I've— 3,500 people that I spoke in front of. And I shared the stage with him and I saw him, but I didn't get to— by the time I got backstage to meet him, he already left the building. So, you know, then the third time, you know, three times is a charm, third time is a charm. So I finally caught up with him in Miami So first we started out in Broward, then we went to West Palm Beach, then we went to Miami. So I went through 3 different counties chasing this guy, trying to meet him and catch up to him. So it was finally in Miami, he was speaking at the— in the Dolphin Stadium, and that's where I met him. And I finally saw him, we locked eyes, he saw me, and we— it was almost like we couldn't stop looking at each other. And so as he got closer to me, there was people around him wanting to take pictures and shake his hand and everything, and as we got closer We kind of did one of these to each other, right? And a little head nod. And so he came up to me and I was like, hey man, I just want to shake— can I shake your hand? Can I take a picture with you? He was like, yeah man, absolutely. So we took pictures, I shook his hand, we had a couple few moments to talk, and I said, hey man, you don't know, but I just spoke where you just spoke at previously, and I tried to catch up with you, but you left. And he was like, oh, you're a speaker? I was like, yeah man, I'd love to give you my speaker kit if I can. And he was like, yeah, absolutely. So I gave him my speaker kit and he was like 'Is there, is your information in there for me to get in contact with you?' I was like, 'Yeah, man, absolutely. Everything you need is there, you know, please reach out to me if you, if you see that there's something that we can, you know, connect on.' So that was on a Wednesday, December of 2015. I think it was December 17th or 18th, that was a Wednesday. That following Thursday, I go back to work, business as usual, and I get a phone call And I'm thinking it's somebody that I had, you know, networked with. I gave my business card to, and they're calling me to follow up or whatever. And as soon as I pick up the phone, I hear the voice, man. You know, Les has that very distinctive voice. And I heard his voice and he asked, he's like, hey, can I speak to Jose? And I already knew who it was, but I was like, yeah, this is him. Who's this? And he was like, this, this is Les Brown. Jose, how are you? And I was like, I'm doing great. Can you hold on one second? I put him on mute. I was like, yo, it's Les Brown. And so I was like, hey, what's up, Les? How you doing? Thanks for holding. And he was like, yeah, man. He was like, you know, I saw your information. He was like, you know, and I felt compelled to call you because I really think that there's something that we can do together. And he asked me if I was a pilot. And I was like, pilot? I kind of thought that was a little interesting. But the reason he asked me if I was a pilot was because on my Speaker One sheet, I actually did my photo shoot in a hangar at a private airport. And I was like right in front of an airplane, like one of those private jet planes. I was right in front of that, looked like I just came off of it. And so he asked me if I was a pilot and I was like, no, I'm not. But you know, that's funny how, you know, perception is somewhat reality, what people think, you know, when they see stuff. And so, you know, that was in December 2015, man. So here we are in 2020, man. And, uh, I went on tour with him 2 years ago. Uh, he did the foreword to my book that I just, my current book that's out now. And, uh, we just have a special relationship, man. We have a special relationship. You know, I've been with him at the hospital praying for him when he's fighting cancer. And I've been to his house and it's just been amazing, man. And just being able to use his name as credibility, you know, borrowed credibility when I'm, you know, out, you know, selling myself and pitching people. Um, it makes a difference, man. And that's been able to open up a lot of doors for me. It's been able to put me into, you know, circles and influencers that I normally probably wouldn't have been able to get into. So quickly. And just, man, just being around greatness, man, and, you know, opening my eyes to a whole nother lifestyle, because that was the first time I've ever been around multi-millionaires and now even billionaires recently. And so it's just a whole nother ball game, man, when you get to that next level. And, you know, you don't know what you don't know, right? And then you don't even know that you don't know it until somebody reveals it to you or you get around that type of space. So it's just been an amazing journey, man, just meeting him. Yesterday was his birthday actually, on the 17th of February, so we were like a week apart in birthdays. And so that's like one of our little connections also, that we share the same birthday month. And he's just a special dude, man. Like he has just such a generous, giving individual. And if you're listening, Les, I love you, man. Happy birthday. I already texted yesterday. But yeah, just a phenomenal individual, bro. He's like a global influencer, global impactor, you know, world shaker, man.

Incredible. So what tips would you have? So this story of like chasing him down 3 times, right? You're on the stage behind him. You missed him when he— right. What are some of the tips that you would want to share with someone who's looking for a mentor? Because it's— there are people out there who are waiting to be asked. And it's not like it has to be this huge difficult journey, or it has to be completely impossible, or you think that you might not have access. We're not gonna have access to necessarily, like, you know, the Jeff Bezos or, you know, that people at that level. But there's so many other people out there who are successful, who are leaders in their, you know, maybe in your field or in a different field. But what are some of the tips that you would give to someone to help them find their own mentor?

Yeah, you know, and a lot of times, even nowadays, you don't even have to have a physical mentor, like somebody that you can physically pick up the phone and call. Like, fortunately enough for me, I'm able to do that with Les, which is a blessing. You know, I know people would probably kill to be able to have that opportunity and that access. But, you know, like I said, before I even met him, he was my mentor. I was following everything he did, watched all his videos, studied his stage presence, his humor, his voice tonality, and I just really did my homework, man. So you can find people now on YouTube and social media, but even like with social media, there's a lot of these influencers that are very accessible and are reachable and will entertain you, you know, on social media, just slide into their DMs, right? Send them a message and, you know, how can I, you know, I want to do this, but I also want to add value. How can we make that happen? You know, and don't be afraid. I think a lot of times you're afraid to just ask, and I'm a firm believer in asking, man, because, you know, you have not because you ask not, you know? So ask more and you'll get more. I promise you, because that's how I've been able to me, get to where I am today has a lot to do with me just asking. Like, I remember when I had to ask him to do the foreword of my book, my wife was like, "No, no, don't ask him. You already asked him for enough," you know? And I was like, "No, I'm going to ask him because if, you know, you never know, right? What if he says yes?" And I'm so grateful that I did ask him because he wound up saying yes and did the foreword to my book. So, you know, that's my legacy that I'm leaving behind, you know?

Well, that last bit you just said about asking and taking the risk, because I always ask this to my clients if they want to challenge themselves to do something new. I'm like, well, what's the worst that could happen? 99% of the times they'll say, well, the worst that can happen is that someone will say no. And I'm like, no, no, that's completely the opposite. It's completely wrong. And that's how we've been raised, right? The worst that someone can say is no. But I think if you are expecting the no, the worst that someone can say is yes, because then you got to scale your game up to be able to be the vessel to be able to receive or to do that which you're hoping will come from that experience. And I think that's where the bigger fear factor is. It's not that they're going to say no, it's what's going to happen if someone says yes to you.

That's right.

Right. And what I want people to hear, especially from the conversation we've had today, is how do you continuously say yes to yourself? Yes, I can do this. Yes, I'm worth more. Yes, I'm capable of doing this. Yes, it doesn't matter what my education is. Yes, it doesn't matter whether I'm having this challenge or that challenge, whether, right, whatever it may be, is the yes to yourself and get away from the fear of your own no.

Yeah, you know me, even like with my kids, man, and I think that this transcends through any age bracket, is like try to say yes to everything you can and leave the nos to the serious stuff. Right? Say yes to everything you can and leave the nos to the serious stuff. Because I think that, you know, like you said, we're programmed, we're trained from, like, when you're a kid everything is, can I have this? No. Can I do this? No. Can I go here? No. Can I call? No. No, no, no, no, no. Everything is no, no, no, no, no. But, you know, I've really learned that even through parenting, that the more yeses you say, the more you empower people to believe that yes is possible. Right? And so I'm even always telling my kids, because, you know, there's been times where I told my kids no and they're like, and I'm like, Well, why didn't you ask me? And they're like, oh, because I thought you were going to say no. And I was like, but you never know what I would say if you don't ask me. So even if you think I'm going to say no, ask me anyhow, because if I say yes, then that changes the game and you would never know that unless you ask me. So that I kind of instilled that into them as well. Like ask for everything and see what you get.

I just had this conversation with a client of mine who works for, um, an internet, an international business. Um, and they're working locally in one of the stores locally here. And we were trying to figure out like what their next steps were in their career. And they're like, you know, I said like, within the next 3 to 5 years, like, what's your personal goal and hope for where you would be progression-wise within the status of the company? And they said, well, you know, 3 to 5 years, I'm hoping I can become like either a store or regional manager. And I'm like, OK, great. Who have you talked to in the leadership team about this? And the person said, nobody. OK, so, so what happens if 3 to 5 years down the road go by and no one promotes you? And they just like kind of was like there was no response, it was like this blank stare back. And I'm like, yeah, you have to ask. You have to put— this is what I'm looking for. This is what skills do I need? What trainings do I need? What workshops do I need to take? Who do I need to mentor? Who do I need to hang out with? But the assumption that things will just happen without asking for most people don't get that concept. And then once they realized that they should have that conversation, I said, well, what happens if they say there is no possibility within 3 to 5 years that this is going to happen for you? Would you stay with that company? And the person immediately said, no, I completely would quit my job in the next 2 weeks. I'm like, well, we just saved you 5 years of headache. If— and then 5 down the road, 5 years of disappointment just by asking a question now. Is this a possibility? And if so, what do I need to do to get there to increase that possibility? And if I do that, then really what's the likelihood of me getting to this next stage of my, of my professional career? And we have to do this in business. We have to do this in our relationships. All the time with my couples, it's the fear of asking, of the fear of being rejected and turned down because we have an assumption that we already know what they're going to say. But I see it with kids that I'm seeing of what they think. I had it the other day where a kid says, I can't express this to my parents because I already know what they're going to say to me.

Right.

It's crazy. So we create our own limitations. We create our own stumbling blocks. And that's why I love your phrase. Like, I won't stop till I win.

That's right. That's right. I won't stop until I win. And, you know, even when I'm going through my own struggles and my own hardships and, you know, my mind tries to, you know, get the best of me. That's one of the things that helps me get through, man, is like, I'll start, I'll just start saying, I won't stop until I win. I won't stop until I win. And just speaking that out loud, it does something. Inside of me, it changes my chemical makeup and it changes my attitude and it starts changing my perspective and my outlook and I just start getting more positive and it's just like I'm back on track, you know. So it's like me being down and negative and having my moments, yes, I'm human, I go through that, but I don't stay there for long because I know how to get out and I just start speaking, you know, saying stuff like I won't stop until I win, I won't give up, I won't give in. I got to keep going, you know, and, and, and, you know, the reality is that a lot of times I don't want to keep going, but telling myself to keep going, that, that's what helps me get through a lot of my— for me personally, that's what helps me get through a lot of my days.

Well, that's, I think, the difference between you earning the title, a Mindset Disruptor, versus someone coming up in some really good brand marketing position. I'm like, I think I'm going to call myself that, right? You, you epitomize that, especially as long as I've known you. That, that it is the mindset. And it's not the cliché, let's go, you know, the Lululemon of mindset, right? The few where if you wear Lululemon, you're a yogi, or if you wear Nike, you're an athlete. It's the living it, the breathing it, the sharing it, the experiencing it. And you share that with people. You share that on your podcast. You share that in your book. You share that when you connect with people. So I know as we round up our time, I want people to find you. I want people to follow you. I want people to get your book. I want people listen to your podcast, um, beyond the episode that they're listening— that they're going to be listening to this on, on my podcast. So where can people find you?

Yeah, so people can find me at joseinspires.com. They can also find me, uh, they go to my website for, you know, detailed information, and they can find me on any social media platform @JoseInspires. Also, um, you see that in the background, they have the joseinspires360.com as well. That's just like all my social media access for quick and easy access But yeah, they can also check out my podcast on any podcast platform, which is called the I Won't Stop Until I Win podcast. So you see, I'm pretty branded, man, and I just, I go with the flow, man. I go with what I feel in my heart. You know, I'm not a branding expert, but I just go with what I know sounds, what sounds good and what's right for me. Even though I do, you know, I have learned a lot about branding and marketing, but I just, you know, I've always been an anomaly. I've always tried to go against the grain and against the waves because I feel like there's too many people already going with the flow and I don't want to go with the flow. You know, I did that for so many years trying to fit in and figure out, and I know I'm different. The wheelchair makes me different. I know I'm a different individual. I have a different mindset. And so I'm going to be that person everywhere I go to everyone I meet. And I've been able to develop that confidence now, you know, knowing who I am and knowing my capabilities and my abilities and my gifts and my talents. And I'm unstoppable, bro, like for real. Like I don't say that to be cocky or arrogant, but I say that with all humility and confidence. Like I know who I am, man, and no one can change who I am because I am who I am, right? And so that's a powerful thing in itself. Once you know who you are, you don't have to, you know, not like today, I don't worry about what people think about me or what they say about me because I know who I am. So whatever you have to say, is irrelevant to me. I already got my beautiful wife, I got my kids, we got our houses, and we're doing our thing, man. So what you have to say, unless it's positive and adding value to me, then you can go, you know, kick rocks somewhere. But, um, but yeah, they can follow me on social media, my website. Um, actually what I want to do too is for all your listeners out there, I do want to give everyone a free gift that's listening to this podcast. And matter of fact, I want you to do me a favor because Jason's such an awesome dude. Go to iTunes, man, specifically iTunes. Go ahead and leave him a 5-star, uh, 5 stars and leave a review. Leave a good comment if you love this podcast and all his other podcasts and his content, because, you know, at the end of the day, it helps us get, you know, those rankings and helps us get to those next levels. So go ahead and do me that favor. But as a special thank you for listening and tuning in, I want to give every single one of your listeners a free gift. So if they email me at joseinspires@gmail.com and say That they heard me on your show. I'm going to go ahead and have my team send them a free MP3 download on the power of showing up. Nice. This is one of my motivational CDs that I have on my website. It's a $10 value. You'll get it for free just by saying that you know Jason Wasser and you're cool with him and you listen to his stuff.

Guys, you heard that. This is probably— I know when we were last year, it was a year now, like literally this, uh, the next week or so when we were at the 10X in Miami. Right, with Mike. And we were walking around and like all these people— I love them— like all these people were coming up to you and wanting to take pictures with you and talk to you. And you were just rolling, you were just rolling through, right? That was a fun day. And, and then when you're saying like it's not coming from a place of cockiness, I want people out there to really know since I've gotten to know you that it is coming— it's such a true place of authenticity.

Yeah.

And I think that's where what the attraction is, right? And you're saying like it's not because of all these things. I'm like, I was going to joke with him like, well, helps that you are a good looking dude, you know? Right. That definitely helps too. But I think the level of authenticity that, that you bring in, I know Les Brown brings and the people that we look up to, the people that we're connected to in our social circles, right? Like Mike and, well, both Mikes, right? Mike, our financial planner guy, Mike, Mike Fekar, right? Although we have all these really wonderful friends that are incredibly authentic. And incredibly filled with integrity, and we all support each other. And I think that's what's the key thing, taking it all the way back to the beginning of your story with the people who you brought into your life, your wife, Les Brown, the things that you're doing for everybody, helping them feel connected to themselves. The things I'm trying to do with this podcast, with my therapy, my coaching practice, is about allowing people to feel more connected to themselves and their potential. And guys, don't just give me the 5 stars on my review, on my podcast, please go check out Jose's podcast. There's such good stuff on there. His social media is also really incredible. There's so many good videos, so much good insight, a lot of topical motivation that I've learned also so much from him. So again, Jose, thank you. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for hanging out with me and our listeners today.

Thank you for having me, brother. Keep on rocking and rolling, baby.

Sweet. Thank you, man.

Take care.