In this segment of the You Winning Life Podcast, host Jason Wasser (Speaker A) asks guest Christopher Michael (Speaker B) about the tools and practices he uses for personal recalibration and how he helps others. Christopher introduces a core mindset shift: redefining the opposite of "winning" not as "losing" but as "learning." He argues that every outcome can be seen as either crushing it or extracting a lesson to improve future attempts, eliminating the notion of true loss. He explains that language shapes our experience, noting that the words we use both describe and create reality. By moving from disempowering, deficit‑oriented phrasing (e.g., "I want to make more money") to generative, creative language (e.g., "I want my relationship to be loving, deep, accepting, trusting"), we co‑create a more empowering world. Christopher also highlights that many of our default narratives stem from inherited belief‑datasets passed down by our upbringing, which we often unconsciously repeat. He emphasizes the importance of reframing these inherited scripts, acting as a "devil's advocate" or "silver‑lining" perspective to shift from a passive, disempowered stance to an active, co‑creative one. The conversation underscores the practice of conscious language reframing as a tool for personal recalibration and for guiding others toward a mindset of learning and creation rather than loss.
So what was that? Yeah, what's that nuance, right, for you? Like, where you start? Like, what's that tool or that, that trick that you've learned to lean into that, to find that recalibration for yourself and how you're helping that with others?
Oh, that's a real— that's a really intense question. It's like, and I feel— I kind of— I'll acknowledge that I feel a little bit pressured, like there's this one thing that happened.
Yeah, well, it's not, right?
It's not a one sudden transformation, but in the in the world of duality, right? I was giving— even the name of your podcast, I was giving it a lot of thought coming into this, this conversation about like, you winning life. What, what is, what does winning mean? And like, right, like, and we have this duality, the understanding of the opposite of winning is losing.
Yeah.
But what if it wasn't losing? What if the opposite of winning was learning? What if you either fucking crushed it, or you learned something from it so that you can crush it next time. So you didn't really lose. And so I think just naturally, I'm like a— I'm always devil's advocate, silver lining, whatever you want to call it. But I'm always looking for like, there's another way to see this. And so like the practice of reframing is really powerful. So when I started to understand that the way that we use language actually creates the world as we experience it, and the way, not just like how we describe what it looks like, but how we describe how we interact with it, those words that we choose to, to describe the world out there are clues to your inner world, right? Like, is the world happening to you or is it happening for you? It's like co-created, right? Co-created. Yeah. And then you bump— I bump up against people all the time who are like, I could never like create a world like that. And I'm like, but you don't understand that you have been creating your world this entire time, right? It's like the artist never knew he was an artist, right? But yet all the while creating art along the way. So when people say something to me that sounds particularly disempowering, I want to immediately reframe it so that we can think about, we can like set our mind in that context, right? We want a positive context to move this conversation forward. But if, if, if the way that you're talking about your circumstance is that you're disempowered and the world is out there somewhere and that you have no say in the matter, then we can't move forward. I could tell you what to do, but then you're going to be doing it in that mindset. So I need to shift you out of that to this.. And when I started to hear how I was referring to things, right? I want, I want to make more money implies that I'm not making enough money, or I want my life to be better implies that my life is not that great, right? And so instead of speaking in relational terms, I started speaking in creative terms. And I want my relationship to be loving, deep, accepting, trusting, and then that's creative. That's generative language. So that's when it started to really open up for me, that I had constantly been relating to my environment based on the dataset that I had inherited from the people who raised me. And not to say that they did that to me. They did the best they could.
