Relationship coach Jess Hendrick explains why you can't move on from an ex: they're a mirror for your unresolved childhood wounds and limiting beliefs formed before age 7. Your brain tagged early painful emotions as survival threats and stored them to protect you. Healing means recognizing these patterns, not obsessing over them.
It's not just about them. Let's talk about why you're not over them yet and the real reason why. I'm Jess Hendrick and I'm a relationship coach. I support individuals and couples, and what I've been hearing from my clients a lot lately is, I don't know why I'm not over them yet. I feel like I should be over them by now. And here's the thing, it's not just about them. It's really challenging to understand this sometimes when you first start looking at this work a little deeper. But what this person is, is actually just a representation of your inner pain, of your past hurts, of your subconscious limiting beliefs, of your past trauma. Let me explain. Between the ages of 0 and 7, we decide our beliefs about the world based on our experiences with our caregivers, with our family, with siblings. When we experience a high state of negative emotion, the brain perceives a threat. And so the brain remembers the state that we experienced in that moment because it wants to keep us safe. It doesn't want us to have to go through that again. It's a survival mechanism. It's actually really brilliant. And a lot of these beliefs serve us, but some of these beliefs that were formed when we were really little actually do not and actually create more challenges than good at this point, which is just showing us that it's an opportunity to heal.
