Taking Inventory & Making Ammends Wherever Needed to Clear Energy

Hi guys, so I'm back and it's just me today. Heather wasn't able to join us, so welcome to Love Soul Sessions. And just wanted to remind everybody, or for those of you that are new, the intention of this program is to be a safe space for people to come and just receive the support they need to have healthy, loving, conscious relationships. And whether that's the relationship with yourself or with family members, co-workers, romantic partners, it's all the same. All the principles are the same and they apply to every relationship. So Dr. Aaron created this program and I'm lucky enough to be able to share it with you and facilitate the information. And today our lesson is making amends and taking responsibility so that we can clear the energy, any energy that we have from past relationships. And the reason why that's important is because a lot of times if we didn't heal from something in the past, we will unconsciously project it onto whoever's in front of us and then end up playing out the same dynamic. So it's really, really important that we are aware enough to recognize patterns within ourselves that exist maybe from past situations so that we can heal them and, and release them. And I know that sounds like it probably makes sense logically, but you might be saying like, how, how on earth? Like, if it's a pattern that we've had for X amount of years, how do we shift it? And that's where it's, it's important to have a coach support and create healthy habits so that we can actually train our brains to engage in the new thinking pattern and new behaviors. So it's, it's kind of twofold. One, we want to do our subconscious work, which, I mean, it's helpful to have a coach. You can do it yourself. There are specific questions that you can ask yourself to kind of hear what's going on in your subconscious mind. And some of the things in our subconscious really help us, like the ability to ride a bike, drive a car, anything like that that we can perform basically without thinking. But there are other things that exist in our subconscious that don't really help us, like beliefs such as like, I'm not good enough, or I don't deserve love, or my all-time favorite is that I have to be perfect in order to deserve love. And that's been mine for a long time, and I was lucky enough to be led to Dr. Erin, and we delved into my subconscious, and that was one of my main beliefs. And in working with her, I learned how to neutralize the trauma surrounding my belief, and then from there I was able to choose differently. Is it 100% gone? No, not yet, but it's much, much better and the charge around it is less. And that's where we create really healthy belief patterns and habits once we decide, you know, I don't really want to live from that space anymore where I'm telling myself that I have to be perfect to deserve love. Like, is that really kind to myself? Not really, obviously. So a lot of us have these beliefs and these patterns. So the intention of this program is to recognize and understand that the ultimate relationship is within, and everything starts from within our own consciousness. And it took me a while to kind of grasp this fully, but think of it as like your thoughts, your, your, the way you're understanding the world is projected out and then reflected back. So if we have a belief, like for me, you know, I have to be perfect to receive love or deserve love, I will look for evidence to support that belief, and I will seek out people unconsciously to prove my belief true. And this is why the subconscious work is so, so, so important. And if if you have any questions about it, I'd love to answer. I'd love to chat with you a little bit more. And we're also having an event tomorrow night at the Kimpton La Peer Hotel in West Hollywood where Dr. Aaron will be speaking and beautiful Stacy is going to be doing a guided meditation. And it's just going to be a really nice event, and we're going to talk a little bit more about the subconscious work if you're curious. So if you'd like to come, send me a message and I'll send you all the information. So today the topic is making amends and really taking inventory of all of the areas in our lives, all the relationships where maybe we could have shown up a little differently. And one of the principles that we practice is never making anybody wrong. Wrong. So that includes ourselves. So we don't want to go back and think about, oh my God, like, the way I acted in that relationship was terrible. I was— and, and like beat ourselves up. That's not the point of this. The point is to go back and really look at where we could have showed up differently. And the reason is just to learn from it. It's like no judgment. We did the best we could at the time, and what, what was going on there that maybe we can address so that we can show up differently now. Hi Juliette, thank you for joining, good to see you. So we're just talking about making amends, going back over our past relationships and taking an inventory of where maybe we could have done things a little differently. And the only purpose of that is is to recognize that we can choose differently now. And it actually, it's, it's really freeing to release the energy from past relationships that, that we might be holding on to. We don't even realize it. So one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Marianne Williamson, she always says love brings up anything that's hiding, and that is absolutely true. And I'm sure if you're joining this live, like me, you, you may have found romantic relationships to be a particularly challenging area. And a lot of us do, because getting that close to another human being, there's a lot of things that are happening. Like, number one, your, your stuff comes up because you're, you're actually opening yourself up to another person, and that can be really scary. Especially if you've had relationships like we all have that haven't exactly worked out, you know. And I say it like worked out because I believe we're always being guided to whatever the best thing is for us. But, you know, sometimes— I mean, I've had experiences where I've thought, you know, I really wanted it to work with a certain person, and, and even though I was being guided to seperate from that person. I held on like a, like a mother, like until the last second where the universe was like, Jess, this is just honestly not working. I needed that brick. Like, you know, sometimes you get a little whisper intuitively, then you get a little bit louder, and then maybe a shout. I needed like a brick in the face for me. So, hi Heather! Heather's, Heather's just waving. She's usually here with me. So I want to welcome all of you to really ask any questions you might have about this topic. What does making amends look like? Or, you know, what kind of tools could we use to make amends, to clear the energy? One of my favorites that I actually just did last weekend is writing a letter to the person. Could be— it could be anyone. Again, it's it's any relationship. So family, exes, um, coworkers, and, and you can just write a letter and express everything you need to in the letter, anything you're still holding onto. So I did this this past weekend because I felt I was holding onto some things, and it's really, really important to me that I address whatever's going on in my psyche so that I can show up the way that I want to show up, like as the person that I want to be in the world, rather than being at the effect of triggers, um, from past relationships. Because that sucks, you know, getting triggered is not fun. And if you're not familiar with the, the term getting triggered, basically what I'm talking about is like those moments where you feel taken over by your emotions like taken over. It's a trigger. It's like hitting something in your, in your memory, and you feel like it's happening in this moment. So this is some of the work that I do with my clients. Hi, Lizzy! Yes, Lizzy and I talked about this today, and I'm going to talk about it because I think it's important. And if you feel that, you know, you're maybe holding on to energy from past situations, past relationships, this is a good topic for you. So yeah, held hostage, Heather says. Yeah, I mean, so triggers— I never even understood this, this term until a couple years ago, but when you feel like you're basically being put back in the memory and it's scary because it's a traumatic event So I have to really remind myself when I feel triggered by something that's happening, I'm like, okay, is this actually happening in the present or am I replaying an old memory or an old trauma? And sometimes I have to ask the person I'm with, like, if it's a person that I feel safe enough, like with my boyfriend, I can, I can just say to him, okay, this feels like this is what's happening. Is it what's happening? And like 99% of the time, it's not. It's an old memory. When we're getting triggered, when you feel like your heart pounding, or you feel anxiety, or you feel whatever it is— it's different for everybody, but they're not fun. And making amends and taking inventory can help us to release some of the charge around those old memories. So like I was saying, this past weekend I wrote a letter and I expressed everything I wanted to express, like with no censoring, just like, I'm angry, I'm hurt, it's like, it's your fault, or whatever. Like basically the inner child in me just like going nuts, expressing everything and just getting it all off my chest. And then once I got that written down, I I was able to center myself enough to come into like, okay, but actually I'm grateful that that was the outcome, even though that was a painful situation, because I was led to X, Y, and Z. And I recognize that, that we're always being guided, and I recognize that, you know, the universe, God, source energy, whatever you— whatever term you use— always has a better man, always. And it's just, we feel like as human beings that maybe we know what's best for us, and a lot of times we don't in that moment, or we're being guided by like a need that's coming more from our ego versus like our, our higher self. So like, I don't know, you know, I maybe I wanted to hold on to a relationship in the past because they didn't want to feel the rejection of the— of it not working out, or like yet another relationship not working out. And that's okay, you know, we don't want to make ourselves wrong. So that's one of the principles: we never make ourselves wrong. And another one is taking 100% responsibility. Hi Janet, thank you for joining. So yeah, that's basically— that's basically it. So there's different tools tools you can use. You can actually talk to the person if you want to clear the energy and you feel okay about doing that. I know Dr. Erin has actually— she's met with, with ex-boyfriends and like talked with them and made amends for her part in whatever happened in the relationship. And she said some of them were kind of like, what are you doing? But it's not about them, it's just about clearing the energy within ourselves. So for me, writing this letter, I wanted to release everything that I've been holding on to the last few months so that I can be a clean slate. And you know, we might have to do it again and again. It's not like we write, we write one letter and then we're good. Maybe, maybe not. You can also do it in meditation. I know a lot of people do like cord cutting. For me, cord cutting feels a little bit like abrasive, like cutting. Just, I don't like that. But I picture more like just releasing any cords that don't serve. So for me, sometimes in a meditation, like, I'll picture myself and the other person, and whatever cords are between us that are not for the highest good aren't loving, I will just envision them just dissolving and being released. And any love that exists in between us, I, I want to keep those cords because I feel like you can't lose by loving. So I just say, you know, I ask for support in dissolving any cords that don't serve me and then strengthening the cords that do. And Lizzie said so great. I've always heard about not making someone else wrong, but not making myself wrong is a new concept. Yeah, exactly. So all of these concepts come back to— we can apply them to our relationship with ourselves and with others. So, hi Jeanette, good to see you. So yeah, I mean, and a lot of us have for a lot of years been in the habit of listening to that voice in in our head that's not so kind. And mine's been kind of making an appearance lately because I'm in a relatively new relationship, and that's a perfect time for, for this, the mean voice to come in and kind of bring in some old, old stuff that maybe isn't gonna help. So I'm learning along with, with all of you, and that's the purpose of this group, is just to be a support for, all of us. We're all doing the best we can, and just being kind and loving to ourselves is the key. And is it easy? Not always. But the more we get in the habit of doing it, the more it becomes like a muscle. And this is what Lizzy and I were talking about today, where it's like, it's like a muscle. It's like anything. The more you do it, you create neurons in your brain to support the habit of being kind to yourself, being loving to yourself. So Love Soul Sessions, we always remember the ultimate relationship is within. The reason this is important is because all other relationships in our lives are just a projection of our inner relationship with ourself. And so as, as crappy as it might be, as hard as it might be to kind of digest— hi Sarah— anybody that we attract into our experience, we wouldn't have attracted them if we weren't a match to them on some level. So something in our psyche is matched with something in their psyche. The law of attraction. You can't, you can't really attract anything that doesn't exist within you. And again, this is where we need to practice not making ourselves wrong, because anybody that we attract into our experience can be used for our own growth and our own evolution. So yeah, I mean, it's a mirror. Everyone's a mirror. It's a tough one. This work is not— is not for— hi Scott, thank you for joining. Good to see you guys. I'm happy to have you all here. And yeah, Heather and I, Heather and I have these conversations a lot where, you know, we need to be reminded all the time because the world will reflect back to us our beliefs intensified also. So if we're thinking like, like for me, my good old 'I have to be perfect in order to deserve love,' if I'm thinking that, I'm gonna see that everywhere in the world. I'm gonna see it when I read a magazine with all the models or whatever it is, you know. And that's another thing, another reason why I'm in Soul Society is because I'm really surrounded by a group of people who are focused on lifting each other up and loving each other. And who we surround ourselves with is so, so important. And there was a time time in my life where I was surrounding myself, and obviously I was kind of at that same, same level, for lack of a better word. I was surrounding myself with people who didn't really know themselves and weren't really focused on doing the inner work. And so of course I was the same. I didn't know myself either, and I wasn't happy. And also I just, I didn't really know why. And, you know, by the grace of God or the universe or source or whatever you want to call it, I was given the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. And that's a really, really good book for, for people who are just starting out on the spiritual path, or just if you want to be brought back to really the basic concepts of this work. But that is where I learned that there's a different way of thinking and a different way of being in the world. And that is the only place that I was able to heal from. And I'm so grateful for my friend Liza who gave me that book, and I'm so grateful for the journey that I've experienced as a result of, of, you know, looking inward rather than looking outward for my peace and for love and for validation. Yeah, a lot of people— Sarah said, my favorite, this book started my journey in 2009. It's, it's such a good book. I love Louise Hay. I feel like she's just this loving, nurturing, like a grandma, and I just love her. She passed away, but I think she's still— I know she— her energy is still supporting all of us, and she left so much work here for us all of like such a gift. Sarah, that's funny because I think I might have read— oh no, it was a little after 2009. I think I read it maybe in like 2013 or so. That seems about right. Anyway, so the purpose of this group is to recognize the ultimate relationship is within, to provide a support for people who want to foster the relationship with their self. And really create a foundation of love and peace. Because I read this amazing quote, and I might butcher it, but the gist of it is that loving ourselves is really the key to experiencing love in all forms. Because when we love ourselves, we don't have to look to the external world for love. And only from that place can we have a healthy, loving connection with somebody, because then we don't need anything from them. We can appreciate them for the beauty that they are, appreciate them for the miracle that they are, and, and that's it. And that's one of the other concepts, is just accepting people, places, and things exactly as they are, because the The second that we want people, places, and things to be different, we create a gap, and it is the gap of suffering. I'm sure most of us have experienced this, where you're here and this is things exactly as they are, and then you want things to be this way, and there's a gap in between. And this gap— I've been in that gap for quite some time, like not anymore, thank God, at least not in relationships. But I was in a relationship for a while where I just, if he only, if he only knew, you know, what we have, or if he only really did his own inner work, that's a good one. Like if he did his own work and came to his own epiphanies, then he would see how amazing we are together and yada, yada, yada. And really it just creates suffering because guess what? This is reality and this is the fantasy. And as soon as we accept things exactly as they are— people, places, and things— and I'll tell you guys, I'm working on this with my current job. It is, it is a challenge. I'm having a challenge with it. And I keep getting the same message from Aaron, Dr. Aaron, my mentor, from Abraham Hicks when I was in the hot seat with her. It's the same message where when you can accept things exactly as they are with your current job— for me, with my current job, I'm doing coaching on the side, and then I'm doing, you know, occupational therapy also, and I can't wait to transition. And the message that I get is, as soon as you can be who you are in the current job and be at peace, then you will be bumped to be a coach full-time. And I started off my day— this is actually a good example— I started off my day this morning and I worked with a patient and his girlfriend, and they're in their 80s. And the last week that I worked with her, she— it's her boyfriend that's the patient, but she's there, she's supporting him. And she was really like on edge last week and she was telling me, you know what, I'm sick of helping him. Like you gotta whip him into shape because he is just not doing what he needs to do. And he has a neurological condition where like, okay, he's not able to, it, it, it's like his brain and his body are not cooperating with each other. So I'm trying to practice this. I'm trying to explain this to to her, like, in a way where I'm not making her wrong and I'm accepting her exactly as she is. And I'm also recognizing that she's triggered in them. So, but it's triggering me. So her being triggered and her agitation and her like, you better do this, and the way that she's acting towards him is triggering me. And this is where the challenges come, because trigger equals usually triggers the other person if you have a similar trigger. Anyway, last week I wouldn't say I handled it in the best way. I kind of said to her, you know, I can only do what I can do, and you know, this is, this is the situation, right? So this today, I saw the same, the same couple, and she was even more agitated and even more, and I was like, okay, ah, choices in this situation. I can get annoyed and be like, this is annoying and not my job, you're not even my patient. Or I can recognize that whenever somebody is triggered, they are scared, right? Because think about when you're— when you act in a way that's not your best self, when I act in a way that's not my best self, what's underneath that? For me, it's usually anxiety or fear or combination or anger from a past hurt. And so I'm thinking, okay, this is what she's experiencing. So I said to her, I think you might need a break from this because it's very exhausting to be caring for somebody all the time and have somebody— I don't even know where these words came from. But I will tell you guys that when I'm doing my best practices, before I go into a home of a patient, I say to the universe, may I be only a blessing on them and may they be only a blessing on me. And I did say that prayer before, and I believe that when we align our consciousness— praying for me is just aligning my thoughts and my consciousness with the highest good for everybody. And so I prayed that, and then I came to her with a very validating and containing approach, even though I wanted to be like, you're fucking annoying. Like, that's what I wanted to be like. But as soon as I came to her with that, she calmed, she softened, and she was like, yes, I need a break. And I was like, okay. So from there, we were able to kind of, you know, calm the situation down, and I was able to talk with the patient and, and try to create ways for him to meet his own needs to give her a bit of a break. And that is where my zone of genius is. And so this is a way where I can be okay in my current job while I'm not exactly where I want to be. So, but let me tell you guys, This is a practice, and things that help me with it are meditation and talking with, with people that, that lift me up, like Heather, like Lizzie, like friends that really I can say anything to and there's no judgment. So yeah, welcome! Thank you for joining. So I'd love to open it up for any questions. If you guys have any questions, I could, I could just keep kind of talking about it, but I want to just go over a couple things. So this group is for everybody, whether you're in a relationship, whether you just want a healthier relationship with yourself, whether you have challenges with family members, with co-workers. All of these principles will help. And it's a practice. So I'll, I'll kind of go over a few of them. So we want to always remember that the ultimate relationship is within, and every relationship, everything we experience in our lives starts with our relationship with ourselves. So we really want to foster that, and I have tools and tips for that, which There's other sessions on my YouTube channel if you want to go back and watch a few. It's the same principles over and over, but I believe that it's important to keep going over them so that we can create new beliefs, new patterns in our brains, and show up differently. So number 2, or like, there's no order. I don't know why I said number 2. Hi, welcome, welcome, welcome. Um, so another thing that we want to work on is setting boundaries with people and places and situations that don't serve us. So when I was working with Dr. Erin, doing my one-on-ones and my coaching with her and doing our subconscious work, I was in a relationship where I was getting taken out of my peace over and over again. And she said to me, Jess, you know, this is a choice, and I always want for you to be able to be in relationship if you can, because it's a great place to evolve and a great place to grow. However, if you're being taken out of your peace over and over and over again, then it's time to kind of examine, is this worth it? Because when we're being taken out of our peace, we can't who we truly are. And only you know, you know, listen to your intuition. And for me, eventually I was guided to leave that relationship, and he— like, he ended it. It wasn't me that ended it. But now I can see that it was definitely the best decision for everybody, and I'm really, really grateful. So, you know, sometimes we have to put boundaries on people and places and situations that, that don't serve us. And it can be uncomfortable because people who don't have boundaries don't like when we have boundaries. And I read this quote and it's so true. It's like, the only people that get angry at you for placing a boundary are the people who benefited from you not having a boundary. And I think that's really true. And ultimately, you know, if we're, if we're focused on our relationship with ourself and there's somebody in our life that is creating discord, we can accept them exactly as they are, but we don't have to have them in our lives. And we can, you know, bless them and send them love from afar, but we don't have to have them in our experience. And, you know, it's, it's a dance because I mean, we always want to be kind, we don't want to hurt anybody, but at the same time, you know, people have their own stuff going on. Everyone's on their own journey. And I've had to have this lesson a lot lately. I feel like the universe is really teaching me how to set boundaries lately, over and over again. And I'm like, oh, it's uncomfortable. But at the same time, you know what feels better? Setting a boundary, and then I'm not betraying myself by exposing myself to people that trigger me or hurt me. And like, it's— I'm not even saying that it's them, you know, it's just at this point where I am in my life, I'm not able to engage with certain people. And maybe that will change, but right now, to keep keep myself safe, to look after little Jessica, my little inner child. I call her little Jessica. I need to make sure that she's, she's okay. And so if I need to set a boundary, I need to set a boundary. But oh my Lord, it's a practice for sure. But that's another principle that we practice, is setting boundaries on things that no longer serve our highest good. And another thing that helps me with the boundaries is remembering that, I mean, if I can't be my best self in the presence of this person, and if I'm not holding them in the highest regard, it's not serving them either. The interaction isn't serving either of us. So that helps. So there you go. Yeah, Heather said it makes us stronger to walk through the fear. It does, because, you know, a lot of us were raised with like the mentality of being a people pleaser, and, you know, it's our responsibility to make sure everyone else is okay. But that's actually not— it's not the case. It is our responsibility to be kind, and another principle that we practice is responding in a positive, loving manner. I mean, that's our responsibility. So if we're getting triggered all over the place and we're like, fuck you, like, okay, I mean, that's our responsibility. How we show up is our responsibility. Who we expose ourselves to and how they handle the boundary we set— I mean, how they handle the boundary, that's their responsibility. And we are not responsible for someone else's well-being. And really, I mean, you can actually be doing the person a disservice by feeling like, oh, they need me. Like, you're not seeing them as capable of handling their own, their own life and their own journey, right? So yeah, exactly. Heather said the negative energy turns into a whirlwind. Yeah. So whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, I'm huge proponent for, for doing that. And yeah, and, and also making amends, which is the topic for today. For those of you that are just joining us, making amends is just releasing energy from past situations, clearing the energy. You can do it by actually speaking with the person, asking them to meet with you, or you can do it through meditation. I remember I was going through a kind of a hard time and I would go sound bath meditations and just close my eyes in the meditation and just send love to the person or people that I was having challenges with and just like see them for the beauty that they are. I'm just reading it, I'm just reading. Creative NZ says, learning this, I told "people, that their emotions are theirs, not mine." Yeah, exactly. And you know, it's a practice. We're practicing. That's the point of this group. We're not— I'm not saying I'm perfect at this. I'm saying let's join together, let's practice these principles because they really, really do shift our relationship, especially with ourselves. And and when we shift the relationship with ourselves, we shift everything in our life. And I mentioned I'm having a challenge right now with my, with my day job, because coaching, speaking, Love Soul Sessions, those are my passions, and I want to do that. And the universe hasn't bumped me into that full-time yet, but I've been blessed to be mentored by an amazing human being, Dr. Aaron, and I'm trained in doing subconscious work. So I'm on my way. And sometimes we have to respect the process and the law of growth where we're learning, we're learning certain lessons, and we might need to be developed into the person— for me— who's able to to fully step into that role, right? So maybe I'm not quite there yet. And it's the same for any area of our lives. Like, for relationships, I was talking with, with Heather the other day, and I was telling her, you know, I thought, I thought I wanted a relationship for the longest time, and I do. Like, and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for my boyfriend that I have right now. And it brings stuff up, like it does. It brings up past stuff and it's an opportunity for growth. So whether you're single, whether you're wishing you had a relationship, whether— whatever your situation is, there is always growth, like, and it can be uncomfortable. It's like Ozzy and I— the women I'm mentioning are all in Soul Society, but Ozzy and I were talking about, it's like the pain of a birthing process because you're, you're birthing your new, your higher, newer version of yourself, and that's a little painful. Like, creating new habits, new patterns is out, out of the norm, and it's a little painful. And then releasing old things can also be painful because our subconscious mind wants to hold on to what keeps us safe. And I say safe because that's just like a subconscious pattern, but it's not actually the truth. Some of it— some of the subconscious mind does serve us, and some of the beliefs we're really ready to release. Yes. Oh, I know, I want to help people with mental illness too. And, and I, I don't even really like to label anybody who's going through something. Like, I, I saw this beautiful quote, and I loved it so much. It said, you know, all the diagnoses like bipolar, depression, um, anxiety, but all the diagnoses, and then it said cross them all out, and it just said unhealed trauma. And that's my personal belief. And, you know, I support anyone wherever they are on their journey. I spent a lot of years identifying as someone who's depressed, and I don't find that that serves me. And I think that we have the power. I don't want to give the power away to a diagnosis. At the same time, I do recognize that repetitive thinking patterns create certain chemicals in the brain. So that's my— that's as far as I've come with this topic. But yeah, I just want to help people to really build a foundation of peace within themselves and love within themselves so that they can feel safe, so that they can feel whatever maybe they didn't feel as a child. Because a lot of us didn't really get what we needed from our parents, and it's all perfect because that developed us into the people that we are today. And I love my parents dearly, and they have so many amazing, beautiful qualities, and I appreciate them for who they are. And, you know, there were some things that I needed as a kid that I just didn't get, and that's okay. And it is part of my mission. So I see now the perfection. So if you're going through something hard right now and you're, you're like, what the fuck, like, I've been there many, many times, right, Sarah? Isn't that beautiful? It's just unhealed trauma and labeling it. I don't like the labels. It's like, we're all human, we're all doing the best we can, the end. And we're here to support each other and let's really join together and let's walk each other through this life together and like let it be okay. Like for me, oh my God, like this weekend my boyfriend said the simplest thing and I was like so, so touched because he said something about like, if I have a beer, maybe you could drive my car. And I was like, well, I'm a little nervous to drive your car because I don't want to scratch it. And what if I scratched it? And he was like, if you scratch my car, it's okay. And then he said like a bunch of other things that were like that, and I can't— and I was like, oh my God, it's okay? Like, it's okay that I'm not perfect. It's okay if I scratch your car. Like, for me, I was like, holy shit. Like, I got tears in my eyes because I was just like, this is so healing for me to be with somebody who's like, it's cool, no problem, we're fine. You scratch the car, you scratch the car. He's like, I scratched my car. Anyway, so that's like an opportunity for for me to experience what it's like to be with somebody who is helping me to heal that, that little belief— and little, let's call it little belief in myself that like, you know, I have to be a certain way, I have to be perfect, whatever, to receive love. He was like— I heard him saying, you don't have to be perfect and we're good. And I was like, you are an angel. So learning, right? It's, it's all learning. Um, yeah, and another concept that I wanted to share with you guys— labels do suck. Exactly, they suck, and it doesn't make anybody feel good. Like, I remember actually, I was— I went to my therapist. I had a lot of therapy, I've had a lot of coaching. I'm very open about that, and I feel it takes a lot of Courage to go within yourself and really look in the mirror and like stop pointing the finger. Not— don't make anyone wrong and be like, okay, whatever's going on with me, this pattern, I— it's not healthy, it's not serving me. How can I— what can I do? And so I had— I've had tons of therapy is what I'm saying. And one of my coaches most recently, who's an amazing genius genius with relationships. If you guys want his information, his name is Ed Farrigan, and he told me, okay, in your relationship you want to create a safe container so you and your partner— or you can do this with yourself, like creating a safe container with yourself where you can express whatever you need to express. So I'm talking about it with my partner, but you do it with yourself also, where you create a space and you literally, you decide what you want it to look like. So this is a space, like an energetic space, where we can bring to the table whatever is coming up for us, and there is no judgment. We're not making each other wrong. We're taking responsibility for how we're feeling, and it's safe, right? So I talked with him about it, and he was like, yeah, don't we we do that already. And I just like love that he's open and he listens to me talk about all this because I find it so fascinating and so helpful. But so we're working on— we're creating this safe space, and we're actually going to have a code word for when we need to go into the safe space. So like if we start to get triggered, or if we're gonna say the code word and then we're gonna take some breaths and ground ourselves and we're going to try that. And I thought that was such a, such a good containing tip. And you can do that with yourself. Like, I do this with myself sometimes. I'll go in the mirror and I'll just like put my hand on my heart and I'm like, I got you, you're okay, you're safe. What do you need right now? And it's a way of showing up for ourselves maybe that we haven't experienced from ourselves before, if we're used to having that mean voice in our head or whatever. So this is funny because I thought, I thought that Heather wasn't joining, so I thought I wouldn't have much to talk about, but I guess I do. So I just want to share a little more. So if you're, if you're just joining, this is Love Soul Sessions, and the topic for today is taking inventory and making amends amends for anything that maybe occurred in our past relationships. And you can make amends to yourself also. So wait, maybe in the past, like, I didn't show up for myself in the past a lot. Like, I exposed myself to situations and people that weren't really great for me. And so I could apologize to myself now, like, Jess, you know what, You were doing the best you could at the time, and now you know better. And like Maya Angelou says, when you know better, you do better. And I forgive you for exposing yourself to harmful situations. So that's just an example. Hi Joe, thanks for joining. Yeah, isn't it good, Sarah? I loved it. I, I just thought it was so— because, you know, things are gonna come up in our relationship. Things are going to come up, and we need to know how to create healthy communication because we do care. All of us care about each other, and sometimes we can get, you know, triggered and come from a place of fear or come from a place of hurt, and then we can't be the best version of ourselves. So, Jess, I would love for you to be in my video, but I, I have to record record them and put them on YouTube, and when somebody joins, I can't record it. So I would love for Instagram to change that, but maybe we could do one sometime. I would love to— I would love for you to come over and we do it together. That would be amazing. Let's chat because I would love for you to be in it, and I just— I'm trying to share this content and save it and put it on YouTube after. So in the link in my bio, there's a YouTube channel with past videos, the same, the same subject matter. All right, so some things that we really want to focus on in love soul sessions. Number 1, I always say no, I don't know why I'm making numbers. There's no numbers, they're concepts. I'm very organized, I like to have numbers. Yeah, Jess, Jess had said she She's so funny. Am I the Jess? Yeah, it said Jess sent a request to be in your video, so I thought you wanted to jump on, maybe share something, or maybe you just hit the button by accident, which is cool. I'm sending you love though. Thank you for joining, beautiful. Um, oh Jess, by the way, my boyfriend lives like walking distance to you, so maybe we should get together sometime. So yeah. So we want to practice never making anybody wrong, and that includes ourselves. So when we start to think like, oh my God, start judging the person, like this person, that person, da da da, or yourself, we have to really recognize like, okay, I surrender this pattern because this pattern is not serving me. Accepting people, places, and things exactly as they are. The way it is right now, the way your relationship is right now, is it serving you? Is it a place of peace, a pace of— a place of growth, a place of love? Or is it not? Because exactly as it is is how we need to accept it. Not how it could be, not how the potential— oh my god, dating potential. If I could tell you guys how many years I spent dating the potential within somebody. Holy shit, no more. I'm just done with that. But everyone has their journey. There's no judgment. We're not making anyone wrong. So the intention of these lives is to understand the ultimate relationship is within. Everything in our consciousness we're projecting outward and it's being reflected back. Whatever beliefs we have in our subconscious mind will be proven right. And it's, it's strong, you guys. Like, like, we can think we're at— we're the victim of the world, you know? And the world will show us that. Like, oh, you believe you're a victim? Okay, so then you're going to create— unconsciously create situations that make you a victim. It's a little trippy. That's why it's helpful to have a coach, either me or someone else, whoever you resonate with, to really delve into the beliefs in your subconscious mind and learn to release the charge. This is the key, releasing the emotional charge surrounding the belief, because from there we have the power to choose differently. And that is what I do. That is, that is my coaching. That's what it's centered around. Yeah, so yeah, oh my god, Jess and I have talked about this before. Yeah, dating potential, it's a good one. And some of my girlfriends now, I'll say to them, like, you know, do whatever is best for you. And if it— if the situation stayed exactly as it is and nothing changed and, and you go— years go by, are you okay with it? And they usually say no. And so it's okay, then we have a choice. We have a choice. And no relationship is perfect, and we just have to really go within and listen to our intuition and see, okay, can I stay in my peace like most of the time? Am I, am I my high— my highest version of myself with this person? Is it contributing to my evolution? I mean, it's all whatever's important to you. So what are your must-haves for your relationship with yourself and then your relationship with others? So for me, my must-haves— I must be able to stay in my peace. If I am being taken out of my peace over and over and over, then I'm maybe not ready to be in a relationship. And that's what happened in my most recent— my past relationship, and it's fine either way. It's fine. We are not more valuable if we have a romantic partner. That is fucking bullshit, and I'm here to just put a stop to that. Like, if I can reach one person and I can help change the mentality in this culture that having a romantic partner makes you valuable, then I have done what I'm here to do, because that is not cool. And I spent a lot of years feeling like, what's wrong with me? How come this person's married? How come this person has a boyfriend? Yada, yada, yada. And it's like, that's really crazy. But it's, again, it's been ingrained in our minds since the time we were tiny little kids watching Disney movies. So it's valid. Anyway, anyway, guys, I love you for joining me. And I would love if you feel this information would be helpful, if you share it with your friends. And I want to invite you to, to join us tomorrow night if you would like to come meet in person for Soul Society. We gather together and Dr. Aaron does an inspirational talk, and Stacy is going to be doing a guided meditation. It's at the Kimpton La Peer Hotel, and if you want to be surrounded by a group of really amazing conscious people who love each other and lift each other up, this is your tribe. Okay, so send me a message and I'd be happy to bring you as my guest tomorrow night. It's the last one for a few weeks and we're gonna see if we're continuing to do them every week or what we're gonna do. So if you want to come, I'd love for you to invite you tomorrow night. Love you too, Lizzy. So let's just go over our principles since it's almost been an hour of me talking to myself. I find this so hilarious. I literally thought, okay, I'll do it for half an hour, and because no one's with me, I'd probably run out of things to say. But it looks like I have more than enough things to say, so there you go. Um, so these are the principles we live by in Love Soul Sessions. Okay, so today we choose to know the truth of who we are— powerful, divine, spiritual beings. Today we choose to remember my favorite one: the ultimate relationship is within. All other relationships are the projection and reflection of our ability or inability to love ourself, really, when you get down to it. Today we choose to actively consciously do our inner work, reprogram our subconscious mind, and release limiting beliefs. So the limiting beliefs are the ones that aren't serving us anymore, the ones that tell us we aren't enough, the ones that suck. But you know, they're there and it's fine, and, and we can release them. We have the tools to do that. And today we consciously awaken to the truth that the only source of love is within. Today we choose to be empowered, taking inventory and making amends wherever needed. So that was our lesson for today, taking inventory and making amends wherever needed. And if you need some tips regarding exercises on how to, how to do that, how to make amends, how to release energy, I'm happy to share. Send me a message. Today we choose to respond in a positive and loving manner. No matter what. Today we take 100% responsibility for creating relationships that thrive. So that means taking 100% responsibility for our part, for how we show up. And it sounds like, oh God, now I can't blame anybody, yada yada, but it's actually freeing because then we have a choice. Do I want to expose myself to this? I take responsibility for my part in the dynamic, and do I want to be in this? It's, it's empowering when you have a foundation of love within yourself and you don't need another person to fill you up. So that's what we're practicing. Practice. And today we choose to focus on people's divinity and the miracle that they are. So really seeing the beauty in people, focusing on what we love about people. It's really easy to find the dirt. It's super easy. But let's be the person that when someone walks away from us, they feel like, oh, they really saw— they really saw who I really am, and they were really loving. Like, isn't that a beautiful way to be in the world? Um, and then today we choose to put boundaries— we talked about that— on people and relationships that bring us chaos and no longer serve our highest good. Today we choose to live our truth and invest in the relationships that raise us up. Today we choose to be transparent, authentic, and powerful communicators. Today we choose to embody that which we seek. That's a really good one too. I love that one. Just whatever you are seeking in the world, if you can embody that— so if you are seeking love, embody love. Picture yourself being filled with love, every cell in your body. And everywhere you go, every word you speak, you're energetically spreading love, and it will come back to you, I promise. Hi Tanya, nice to see you. And today we choose to love ourselves and make peace within our number one priority. Priority, and today we choose to follow our bliss. So follow our bliss is basically listening to our intuition and our soul and really letting it guide us to our highest good. So thank you guys so much for joining. This is so— I love, I love doing it, and I would love if you feel that it would be helpful for people to share with your friends every, every Monday, 7 PM. And we may be doing some in-person meetings. And if all of you could hold in your consciousness that this expands and reaches anybody who would be helped by it, I will be forever grateful. So thank you so much. Sending you guys so much love. And let me know how it goes this week if you feel you'd like to try to make, make some amends, clear the energy. Let me know what shifts in your life, because I promise you, you'll have shifts. So sending you guys love, and I'll see you next week.