A couple shares how Jess's coaching saved their relationship after they'd nearly split and therapy elsewhere had failed. She gave them concrete tools to step back from arguments, understand each other's triggers, and listen without defensiveness. They say it transformed their dynamic from breaking point to actually working.
Before working with Jess, things were really difficult in our relationship, especially, I mean, for both of us, not just me, but for her as well.
I was really ready to leave. Like, I was out the door mentally, almost physically. And I mean, we had tried a couple other counselors and therapists and couples counseling before, and it was just not good.
Jess ended up giving us tools to better communicate with each other, um, really helped us navigate, you know, our arguments, get outside of our own, you know, experiences, and really start, you know, seeing the other person's point of view.
I feel, I feel that we got a lot of really good tools, um, for those fights to pretty much kind of take a step back and evaluate what's really going on. Because sometimes the fight wasn't even about what the fight— what we were fighting about. It was more about trying to understand, um, our partner, you know, and, and understand why they may be upset about something, or, or just what triggered the fight that you may think, why are we fighting about this?
The tools that we got, it helped us also realize and kind of take a step back and look at ourselves a lot better and, you know, analyze, well, why do we feel this way? Why am I, you know, why am I so disturbed by what April is saying? So it just really created a safe zone for us. And a place for us to actually take the time to listen to each other.
I guess about a little over a year ago, I was ready to leave, and in less than 2 months, we're getting married. So that's it. I really believe that we wouldn't be here without Jess because, um, we've talked about marriage before, and I was like, you know, no, it's not gonna happen. Like, that's not happening. Like, and I really, really would not be— I probably wouldn't be here. We would be on our separate ways trying to co-parent our child. So it has been a huge— I mean, I can't say it enough. Jess has been such a blessing, and it was meant to be in this relationship. Um, yeah, you know, we learned a lot, and I think there's a lot— big takeaway, big takeaways for me at least.
