The Hidden Truth About Finding Your Dream Relationship!

A lot of people have a list of qualities that they would like to attract in a partner, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's good to be really clear and know exactly what we want because then we can align with it. It's good to know what our non-negotiables are, what our deal breakers are, as well as what we'd like to attract, the qualities that we'd like to attract in a partner. And we can't go out there in the world and say that we want someone with all of these amazing qualities if we don't also have those qualities already going on within ourselves. It just doesn't make sense. We can't go out there and say that we want somebody who is a good listener if we're interrupting everybody that we talk to. We need to attract what we want by being what we want. Because we don't attract what we want, we actually attract what we are. Meaning that we attract the energy that we are emanating out in the world back to us. Whatever is showing up is a mirror for us to see ourselves through. The truth is that we attract what we are, not what we say that we want. We attract what feels familiar, or we will draw in what feels familiar, or we will tolerate what feels familiar because we're used to it. Our subconscious is used to it. So in order to start shifting what we're attracted to and what we're bringing in, we need to do the work within our own selves. The truth is that we will actually attract people at the same level of self-worth and self-awareness that we already embody. So you have to ask yourself, if you have this list of qualities that you want in a partner, am I showing up as that first? Am I embodied in these very qualities that I'm asking for in a partner? Because the quickest way to align with what you want to attract is by becoming what you want to attract, embodying these qualities that you'd like in a partner yourself. So for example, if you want a partner that's consistent and grounded and loving, are you showing up in that way with others in your life and to yourself? Are you being consistent with yourself? Are you showing up for your own self? Because if you want someone to show up for you, you have to show up for yourself first. It's just how the energy works. And this isn't something that we do perfectly. It is absolutely a process. Showing up in that way now before waiting for someone to come into your life to activate it is super, super important and actually really vital to attracting in that very energy in another person. One of the most powerful lessons that I learned actually from A Course in Miracles which is a book that I love, and many of you know that I love that book, is only what we are not giving can be lacking in any situation. So think about that. If there's something that you are needing, if there's something that you're desiring in a certain dynamic and you're not getting it, are you giving it? If you're desiring understanding, are you showing up from a place of seeking to understand, for example? So only what we are not giving can be lacking in any situation. Every time I felt like my needs were not being met in a situation, every time I was hoping somebody would understand me or be a safe space or validate me, a lot of times it's the very thing that I needed to do for my own self. And when we're relying on someone out there to do it for us, it's a really slippery slope because we cannot control people, places, or things. This is about taking an honest inventory of yourself with love, with compassion, and asking, am I showing up in this way? Am I embodied in this way myself? And if not, how can I start to practice this day to day? How can I show up as a loving person? How can I show up being a safe space? How can I show up being someone who is understanding? Or a good listener. This isn't about blaming ourselves, saying, oh my God, I'm not where I wanna be. This is why my life isn't looking the way I want it to look. No, no, no, no, no. But taking feedback from life and understanding that all of this is a journey for our own evolution and our own expansion. And so how can we look at what's in front of us and see what's working for me and what isn't and start to get really honest and start to become that energetic match to what you're seeking, because that is the key. That's the path. You'll attract people on that same frequency, on that same vibration, on that same energy. So the quickest way to aligning with that is to become it yourself. This isn't about blaming yourself for anything. That doesn't get us anywhere. It's about empowering you. It's about empowering you to look at the only person that you can change, which is yourself, right? You're the common denominator in every single one of your relationships. And we're not just talking about romantic, we're talking about friendships, we're talking about professional relationships, we're talking about your relationship to your health, your relationship to money, your relationship to relationships, right? We're talking about all of it because how we do one thing is how we do everything. Here are some good questions to ask yourself: What are the qualities that I really desire to experience in relationship? What part of me believes that I don't deserve these qualities? How can I start to embody these qualities within myself first? What are some things that I can do day to day to embody these qualities in myself first? Because here's the thing, When we shift how we show up in the world, we shift our energy, we shift our inner experience, our outer world then shifts. It has no choice but to shift because what's going on in here is getting projected outward and then we are reacting to the projection. Okay, so we have to handle this first. We have to start shifting our perception first. And A Course in Miracles, which apparently I love quoting today, He says a miracle is a shift in perception. A miracle is a shift in perception. We think that our perceptions are facts. We think that our perceptions are the ultimate truth. They are not. So the miracles are when we shift and start to expand the way that we're looking at things and start to show up for ourselves in that way. Then our outer world shifts. We'll either be more discerning of who we allow into our outer world, or Or people might just fall away, and then new people, new experiences, new opportunities will come in to line up with this new level of consciousness that we are embodied in. This is how we attract what we want. This is how we call in the partner that we want. This is how we call in the friendships that we want. This is how we call in the opportunities that we want. We need to be that person who is aligned with these things that we desire. So how does that person move in the world? If you had everything that you wanted right here, right now, how would you move? What would you say? How would you spend your time? And can you practice that vibration? Can you practice that energy right here, right now? Maybe go for a walk as your future self, imagining that you already have everything that you could ever desire, and just walk around in that energy. Play with that energy because the mind doesn't know the difference between something that's real and something that's imagined. So this is why our mind can be a really powerful tool in creating what we desire with the divine. So the best tip I could ever give you if you want to bring in that beautiful aligned partnership is you have to embody what it is that you are seeking yourself, and then it will be drawn to you like a magnet.