Jess Hendrick explains why you're drawn to certain partners: you're recreating unmet needs from childhood. She argues this pattern-repetition isn't a flaw but a chance to heal, because your partner brings unresolved issues into the open. Self-compassion matters when you spot these patterns.
Hi, I'm Jess Hendrick, Conscious Relationship Coach, and today we're going to talk about why are we attracted to certain people. This is really interesting, and I've spent years in therapy and working with coaches and reading books about these dynamics, and it's really fascinating. What we tend to do subconsciously is is seek out whatever feels familiar to us or whatever feels like home. And so for many of us who didn't get what we needed when we were growing up in whatever way, shape, or form, we will then recreate that dynamic with a romantic partner. Why do we do that? Because innately as human beings, we want to expand, we want to grow, and we want to heal. So what is the perfect way to do that? By being attracted to someone who's going to bring up our stuff that we have yet to heal so that it can come to the light and create awareness around it. So this can be an opportunity. So if you're in a situation like this, have compassion for yourself. Don't judge yourself. Know that this is really natural and happens. All the time, and we can use it as a tool to really get to know the patterns from which you're operating from in your subconscious mind. And once we create awareness around those patterns, we bring them to the light and we have the power to shift them and then choose differently. So once I brought my patterns to the light, recognizing that it doesn't serve me as an adult to be in relationships that bring up certain beliefs that I had as a child, then I was able to move through it and release the power underneath my beliefs and choose differently and choose a different kind of connection and a different kind of relationship. So I'm here to guide you through that process. If you have any questions, I would love to hop on a call with you and we can talk about it more. Sending you lots of love.
