Relationship coach Jess Hendrick warns that someone who's too available and intense early on is often projecting a fantasy onto you, not seeing who you actually are. Red flags include making future plans after one date and rushing emotional intimacy. Slow down and notice when you're filling in blanks about them.
So you've heard about dating unavailable people, right? Or being attracted to unavailable people. But what happens when the person is actually too available? I'm Jess Hendrick. I'm a relationship coach, and we're going to talk about this because this is actually a thing. If someone is too available and too into you too quickly, that is actually a warning sign. And the reason is this. If someone's really into you and they don't actually know you, they are projecting a fantasy onto you, putting you on a pedestal which you will inevitably fall off because they're not actually into you. They're into their idea of you. So we have to watch this, right? When we're dating and also with ourselves, like really taking time to get to know somebody, really getting clear and not rushing the connection. And noticing if you have a tendency to go into fantasy, noticing if you fall in love with someone in a day, right? Like, it's easy to happen because it's exciting when you meet someone new and there's actually alignment and there's maybe there's some chemistry, but the fantasy thinking will actually end up tripping us up over time. So someone who's too available would look like making future plans before they've even met you, or, you know, speaking into like your plans for your life together even though you've gone on one date. Like, these things are actually someone who might seem available, but it's, it's not actually healthy. So think about these things and really take your time to get to know someone. And again, if you get swept up into fantasy yourself, that's okay. It's a normal part of dating. It's exciting. You know, emotions run high sometimes, but slowing down and tuning into, okay, how much do I actually know about this person and how much am I filling in the blanks of what I want them to be based on my idea in my head? It's a good checkpoint, right? Early on when I learned this, I had to check myself and say to myself, Jess, you don't actually know this person. This is a person that you've gone on one date with. So let's reel it in. Let's reel it in and just take it one day, one moment at a time, and actually get to know them for them and not who you want them to be. So if you need some support navigating dating, navigating relationship, I'm here to help you. I'm doing a free webinar Saturday. I'm like, what day? Saturday, June 22nd at 4:00 PM Pacific time. If you would like to come, Shoot me your email and I will send you the invite. And I'm super excited because we're going to be talking about this and so much more. Looking forward to seeing you there.
