Why Being Different Makes You a Cycle Breaker!
Relationship coach Jess Hendrick explains how the family black sheep, often highly sensitive, unconsciously breaks generational cycles by sensing unspoken family dynamics. Families project their unresolved wounds onto these members, but this painful role exposes dysfunctional patterns that can span seven generations and makes healing possible.
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Today I'd love to talk to you guys about the role of the black sheep of the family and why that person is the cycle breaker. I'm Jess Hendrick, I'm a relationship coach, and I'm here to support you in whatever it is that you're walking through, whether you're single or in relationship or dating. The focus is always your relationship with yourself, and I promise you, that is where you will find freedom. So that is always the focus of our work, and I'm going to be doing a free webinar. If you'd like to sign up, just comment below and I will send you the link. I can't wait to see you there. So the black sheep of the family. The black sheep is typically someone who is highly sensitive, meaning that they feel whatever is not being said. They feel all of the information and the energy and the things that the other family members are experiencing, but aren't fully conscious of. And the black sheep is so highly sensitive that they can't not feel it. When you were younger, you may have not really known exactly what was happening, but you might've had challenges regulating yourself, or you might have had behavioral problems, or you might've been diagnosed with, ADD. All of these things are really symptoms of someone who is actually dialed into energies that are more subtle and more nuanced than most people can really access. And so a lot of times in these families, there's a certain system, there's a certain dysfunctional system, and the black sheep is the soul that actually comes into the family to shift the cycles and break and heal the cycles from the entire family lineage. So it is a really important role. It is also a big task to come into the family because what happens is the family members will actually project onto you anything that they have not healed within themselves. So you will be the scapegoat, you will be the problem, you will be labeled as the black sheep. And one thing that I actually kind of love is the black sheep is also the rainbow sheep. The black sheep is also the cycle breaker because it sounds like, oh, the black sheep of the family is just the problem. And if they weren't there, then everything would be okay. But it's actually, if they weren't there, then everyone would just keep turning a blind eye to what's actually happening and just continue in the dysfunctional dynamic. So if you are this, I really am here for you. I was this myself in my family system, and in a lot of ways I still am. But when you're the black sheep, you're actually here to shake up and wake up the family dynamic. And it's a tough role because what actually has to happen is you need to be able to dig deep within your own self to not internalize the projections of the unhealthy family members, which is a big ask. Luckily, we don't have to do this alone. So if you were born into a family like this or you were raised in a dynamic like this, The thing that tends to happen is that we are given support, we're given people that have also walked this path. So for me, I've had a lot of people that I love so, so much that were also the black sheep of their family, and they have reached out a hand to me and walked me through it. So I'm here to do the same thing for you, and we really do not do this alone. So one of the things we can run into as the black sheep is really feeling like there is something actually wrong with us. Like, maybe we really are too much, maybe we really are too sensitive, and that's just because that's the messaging that we've heard for so long. But the truth is that actually we are really magical, magical beings, because we can tap into all of these energies that people don't usually acknowledge, or if they do, they don't even really know what they're feeling. So we're dialed into this higher frequency. And so it doesn't make us, you know, better or worse, but it's just the fact of the matter, you know? And I don't know about you guys, but I'm just so freaking sensitive. Like, I'll give you a funny example. I was driving my car today and— or last night and today, and I heard this little like rattly sound. I'm like, what is that? And it was so subtle, you guys, but I was like, where is that? What is that? What's happening? And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to take it to the dealership. They're not going to know what I'm talking about. And it's just going to be annoying. But I— today I just took a look outside of my car. And there was a leaf, like a dried leaf, stuck in, like, in where the windshield and the car meet each other, and it was rattling around. And I was like, oh, thank God I could take this out and it's not going to bother me, it's not going to be rattling around. So I use that example because that's how freaking sensitive I am, right? As a highly sensitive person, I'm sure you'll relate. By the way, I'm babysitting my friend's cats, so if you see a cat or two walk by, they're not mine. I just love cats and I'm here to support them, and, and they're also magical beings and they're also highly sensitive. So if you guys have had struggles with this role in the family, it's really challenging and it can hit really deep. It can hit deep layers of shame, layers of guilt, and like I said, feelings that something is, is really wrong with you. Like, what if they're actually right, right? So in order to heal it, we actually have to dig deep and get to the roots of what this wounding is actually touching, because for many of us, we've heard this messaging for so long that we just start to believe it. But When we can find others that have walked this path, we can see that this is actually something that our soul chose in order to come in and transmute and transcend a lot of this patterning in our lifetime, right? Because our energy and the work that we do, the inner work that we do, affects 7 generations of energies before us and 7 generations forward. A lot of black sheep people in the black sheep role spend their lives literally breaking these cycles, and that is the majority of what they do here. So for me, I'm not 100% sure how this is going to play out, right? I don't know if I'm gonna have children. I don't know what's gonna happen there, but what I do know is that I'm here— oh, okay, I'm here to do this work in the world. Okay, this is great. Okay guys, we're embracing the The Imperfectly Perfect video here. The way through is to dig deep and tune into your own heart and know that your heart and your essence is good. And also, as you do some healing, there may be some layers and some levels of responsibility to take for maybe some reactions that you wish that you didn't have, or maybe some other behaviors that you just didn't know another way to relate, right? But as we do the healing and we learn how to regulate ourselves our behavior shifts because then we feel safer in our bodies. So when we feel safer, we can actually respond to people rather than react. So I'm here to support you if this is what you're walking through. I'd be honored to. And I have a bunch of different options to work with me. I work with individuals, I work with couples, I work with children. Typically what I do is I work with people in packages, but I also have single sessions, which is a new thing that I just added in if you want to try it out before you to a longer experience. And I also have a group program, and I am going to be doing a webinar. Would love to have you there, it'd be amazing. So comment below if you'd like to receive the link. And I just want you to know that if you're in one of those moments where it's feeling like maybe you're really isolated, maybe you're feeling really alone, maybe you are really running that program that something is really wrong with you, even if that's where you are, it is all part of the journey. We have to go into the depths sometimes, into the darkness that a lot of people never actually face or experience, in order to heal and transmute that energy and those beliefs and those programs in our subconscious that were just passed down the family line unconsciously. And from there, we can actually choose a new experience. Just excited to share more about this topic because this one is really near and dear to my heart. And again, if you guys have questions, please reach out. I am on Instagram @coachjesshendrick. My website is jesshendrick.com, and you can always comment below if you'd like some more information about receiving support and working with me. And I hope you guys have a really beautiful day, and I'll be back soon with more videos.
