Why You're Single!

So why is there such a heavy stigma in a sense with, with men, um, you know, asking for relationship help? What's that stigma about?

Yeah, that's such a good question. I mean, I think because men think they should already know, uh, and it's really vulnerable to say like, I don't actually know. Like a lot of— because I work with a lot of men and people are sometimes surprised about that for some reason. I don't know why. They're like, oh, you work with women, right? And I'm like, no, I work with like 50% women, 50% men actually. And a lot of men come to me and they're like, I don't know, especially lately, I don't really know how to approach a woman. I don't even— some men, I don't even know, I've never had a relationship. I don't even know how to like open that up to possibly get into a relationship with someone. And something a few years ago, um, from real life, if you want me to share some of my real life stuff, only if it's juicy.

Hey there, health and wellness fans! Welcome to episode 23 of the YCAST podcast that's revolutionizing the way men think about their health and wellness and their life, one conversation at a time. I'm Tony. In the studio today, we are privileged to have Mr. Rob Davidson.

How's it going, Tony?

You know, it's going well.

Week going well, month going well.

Yeah, yeah. I was going to ask you because we haven't had a lot of time to talk, but, um, are you watching the playoffs? No, no.

Okay, I failed. So you shouldn't ask me then.

Now we have nothing. Which playoffs?

There's the NHL and then there's—

you know what I'm talking about. You're not up to—

I'm more of a college basketball guy, you know. Yeah, well, not much.

Me too now, but yeah, yeah, the Knicks are in.

Oh yeah, I know, I see that.

2-0.

Yeah.

So it's something, uh, something to root for, right?

Yeah, it's been a long time for the Knicks to actually win a championship. Yeah, you remember one somewhere in the early '90s, I guess, was the last.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Um, it's been a while, but, uh, you know, it's nice because you see that they, they have been making progress over the past decade. Like, you see little, little movements and, you know, getting to the playoffs or very slow, having winning seasons finally.

But yeah.

You know, who knows? I'm not going to be happy until it actually happens.

They say Rome wasn't built in a day, so, you know, take some time, right? Yeah.

Well, speaking of Rome wasn't built in a day, dating lives are not built in—

that's very true—

in my case, 20 years.

Um, well, you were very, uh, selective. Yeah, that was good. Yeah.

Well, thankfully I'm out of the dating world finally.

Yeah, right.

It's been a few years. Um, but I do— I guess you could say I do have like some memories that are still there, understanding, like, you know, that's great, what men go through, what women go through. Well, you know the mission here. We're here to help men stay in tune from inside and out. Uh, we're talking about the numbers, uh, the blood work, um, you know, urology, testosterone levels, uh, your mental hurdles, all those things we talk about. So to be a man in 2026, it's— I mean, it requires a lot of, um, Resilience. Yeah, proactive. Yeah, uh, stuff. Um, we do have a really cool guest back on, Jess Hendrick.

Absolutely, right? Yeah, and one of the fan favorites. Yeah, yeah, no doubt.

And she's gonna kind of guide us through because, um, you know, her knowledge spans, um, all across the relationship spectrum.

Absolutely.

Dating is one, which is cool. So wanting, you know, hear what she has to say, how we're going to be able to um, you know, educate some guys out there and give them a better game.

Yeah, knowledge is power, right? Right. You know, absolutely.

So, uh, Jess Hendrick, well, she has a bachelor's in psychology, master's in occupational therapy, and certified Conscious Partnership And Dating Coach with additional certifications in subconscious reprogramming, trauma therapy, and nervous system healing. Here she is, guys. I'm gonna bring her on now. Yeah, all right, so it didn't do that. Okay. Hey Jess, how you doing? Welcome back.

Yeah, welcome back. It's so great to be here.

Yeah, good to have you. Yeah, absolutely.

Um, yeah, I wanted to tell you that, you know, you were such a big hit on our last show.

She was.

Yeah, we've been, you know, like I said, we've been kind of dormant for the past couple months getting everything started back up, but our first you know, reaction was we got to get Jess back on.

Yeah, without a doubt.

So we appreciate it. We did talk about relationships last time, and that's on our YouTube channel. So you guys can check that out. I think it was Healthy Relationships was the title. Yeah, that's right. So you can check that out. But I want to very quickly just give people a place where they can find you. So jesshendrick.com. That's H-E-N-D-R-I-C-K.com. Um, Instagram, you're at Coach Jess Hendrick, and Facebook, Jess Hendrick.

Actually, my Instagram's different now.

Oh, it's—

I should have sent you that, but, um, it's Jess Hendrick Coaching.

Okay, Jess Hendrick Coaching.

Yeah, everything else is correct. Yeah.

Okay, good.

Well, give us an update. Tell us a little bit, or, you know, add to your, you know, illustrious, uh, career certifications and whatever. Um, but give us an update where you are, and you know, if you want to throw some personal things in there too, it's always great to, you know, see other people fail. I mean, yeah, succeed.

No, for sure. I mean, I'd love to, and I had the best time with you guys last time, so I love that the episode resonated with people. That's awesome.

Yeah.

Um, and we were saying, you know, before, before we started recording that we just have like a natural flow, and I feel like people can, can feel that energy. So Yeah, it's like we're just chatting and inviting people in.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess since I saw you last, I'm in a relationship now with someone amazing.

Awesome.

That's awesome. Yeah, congrats.

Yeah, I'm so grateful. It was such a journey to get to this point. And yeah, but I am someone who has really had a lot, more experience than I want with the dating world. So hopefully that can be of service to anyone listening.

Yeah, absolutely. I think we learn from each other, right? So yeah, yeah, great.

Well, on the last show, I didn't— I think I was asking you, I asked a question like, well, what do you do? And you were very, like, honest and said, well, you know, I'm not perfect either, Tony, you know, these things happen. And sometimes I have to, you know, tell myself these things over to, to understand them and put them in practice, which I think is very revealing, because If anyone thinks they're perfect out there, you know.

Yeah, yeah. I don't think there is any perfect, but yeah, no perfect humans, right? Exactly.

If you're looking for one of those, you're gonna have a problem. Some may purport to be perfect, but they're not, you know, which is another problem.

Yes, exactly, exactly. You got to weed that out, I think, right?

Yeah, then we have another problem.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, it's great to hear you're doing so well, and I know your business is growing like crazy because I'm, you know, We follow each other on Instagram and the other socials, and I just see you constantly posting. Your following's growing, so congratulations on that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And you've been a great resource, um, for all of my friends who are failing in the dating world.

Well, hopefully we can turn this around in this episode and help them to win a little bit.

A little bit, right? Yeah.

Well, let's jump right in. So we're just gonna fire some questions at you, have a, uh, you know, kind of chill conversation, um, and we'll break down some of the things that, uh, you say, uh, in your practice, and then some of the things I guess like we've dealt with in the past.

Yeah, you know, what I've watched you do. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Lots of crying. So, um, we focus on, uh, physical health blood work, you know, as guys. But how do you define, um, dating health? Um, what, what is a vital sign for a man's overall well-being in the dating spectrum?

Such a good question, because yeah, I think it's all connected, you know, and it starts with how you are within your own self. So if something's off, you know, hormonally or health-wise, or if you're under a lot of stress or pressure, then someone's gonna feel that when you're dating them. So, you know, it goes back to the old— like, we think we have to go out there to try to find an answer, find a girlfriend or whatever, but it's like, it starts here. And then when we're taking care of ourselves— mind, body, spirit— then you're just naturally more attractive, right?

Yeah, I think that's true. I think you could feel that energy, you could see that energy, no question about it. Yeah.

Yeah, well, especially women. Women have this 7th sense. 7th sense.

Yeah, 8th sense. Yeah, yeah, absolutely they do.

Yeah, I think with the one big thing is like when women say like have confidence, and we're gonna talk about this later, but yeah, that's, that's a main thing because they can tell. Yeah, as soon as a man walks in a room, they could tell.

We're all just having fun and enjoying and dancing, and way, way later on in the, in the day, one of the guys came up to me and he was like, oh, I noticed you right away, but, and I, I had no idea And I was like, I had no idea, like, why wouldn't you just like come say hi? And he said, oh, because I didn't want to be creepy.

Oh yeah.

And so this is what I hear sometimes, is like, oh, I don't, I don't want to be creepy. So I think there's a lot of mixed messages too now. And so it's like, well, what, what do we even do? Like, what do men even do? They don't know because there's all these mixed messages. So it's—

society's created that.

Yeah, no question.

Yeah, society's created that with like I hate to say it, but like the feminist movement, like, wasn't really helpful actually for this.

No, no, that's true.

And if you think about it, if there are 10 women in a room that say okay, 9 of them say no, it's not creepy, and that one woman says it's creepy—

yeah, it's creepy.

It's creepy in a sense. Yeah, you know, any man with a sense, sensible, you know, outlook would say, yeah, that's creepy, I better turn that down.

Yeah.

Kind of scary then, huh?

Yeah, it totally— because you don't want to be the creepy guy, right?

Right.

So rather not approach the woman than be the creepy guy.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. How did you deal with that, Tony, being the creepy guy?

Well, I'll tell you what, I, I had a good self-awareness. I've always had good self-awareness about myself. Yeah. I always look in and really the details of what guys do and what they say on social media and how they interact with women, and I always say to myself, don't do that.

Do the opposite.

Yeah. And it's very— I've always been very conscious about what I say and how I act because I know women don't want to hear. And if I'm unsure, don't do it.

Yeah, right. That, that's the other kind of quagmire in trying to date these days where people aren't socializing the way they used to. It's all lots of social media, right? Yeah. So I mean, the point that you were talking about being on the beach, that doesn't happen as much anymore, maybe because people are afraid to do that. I don't know, right?

Yes.

It's very interesting.

Well, I think the social media is a shortcut. It's like, why do I have to go out, spend money, you know, worry about my body, take my shirt off on the beach, when I could just like hit them up on social media?

AI your body, you know.

Yeah, that's all my secrets.

No, that's real. That's real, right? Yeah, because if you're already nervous, right, if you're already nervous, then even, you know, on online feels like a stretch.

So yeah, without a doubt.

Yeah, there's a bit of a crisis. Yeah, masculinity.

That's why it's a crisis in masculinity, no question about it. Absolutely.

And, and yeah, and it's— so there's more and more women that are just choosing to be single. Like, I, I deeply wanted partnership, but also I, I couldn't date a guy that's not in his healthy masculine.

Right, right.

And it was kind of tough to find.

Yeah.

So, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's— well, that's a lot.

Yeah, I may press you on that later because—

yeah, go ahead. Yeah, yeah, I'm here to help.

Okay, uh, what's the biggest mistake you see when men— what's the biggest mistake you see men making when they first realize their romantic life is out of tune?

Not getting support. And keep doing the same things over and over again. Like trying, oh, maybe if I get on different apps or I swipe more or I, you know, follow like people that tell me this is how you get a girl or this is what you do or this is what you say. Like kind of manipulation tactics, honestly. Yeah, that's what I would say is the biggest mistake. And not being in a men's group, like a men's circle doing men's work. Yeah, with other men.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, so, so many people are isolated these days too, so they don't reach out to groups, right? They're just basically in front of the computer. Yeah, yeah. And they're not really socializing with other men. Yeah. And that, that, you know, that's a, that's a big difference from growing up. At least when I was younger, um, guys hung out with guys a lot, right? And we did sports and we did other things, whatever it was. But we, you know, we were always hang out together, working together, groups, you know? Well, I think that makes a difference. Yeah, I really do. I think that makes a difference.

And I think it also breaks down to like some of the, um, some of the things guys do to, you know, I guess enhance them. So I'll give you an example. Like when I got out of my first long-term relationship and I got into the dating world, I would go out with, you know, some guys, and, and I noticed like every guy I was with, like there's 3, 4 guys, and they, they all smell really, really intensely with with cologne, right? What is this? You know, like little things guys do to think like, oh, if I put more cologne on, right, or something, that's going to attract a woman. And I would just be like, you know, I don't know if this is the winning ingredient, right?

You know, right? Yeah.

Um, or, you know, buy it alone.

You didn't think that? Yeah.

Or like, you know, buying an expensive car or doing something rather than realizing it's either something internal or something that Are you— who are you looking for?

Yeah, yeah. You know, well, riding up in your 10-speed to the club, I mean, I probably should have done that, but you know.

Well, that's because I lost my license.

Well, then that makes sense.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Um, okay. So I mean, you know, for Project Y, uh, and you know this, Jess, we, you know, we've always looked at— which is why you're here— we have always looked like at women as a gold standard for self-care. Yeah, um, so in your experience, what is one thing women do inside and out that men should start emulating today as far as, you know, the whole dating world goes?

Great question.

Thanks, buddy.

Yeah, let me write that down.

Well, it was already on the list, but I know you don't read it.

I don't know, I come in here, you know, not knowing what's going on.

Anyway, um, I think women are more open to actually doing the work on themselves. Internally.

That's right. Yeah.

And so in doing that, then they grow and expand in consciousness, and often men are trying to catch up to that.

Yeah.

So the best thing you can do is work on yourself, do the inner work, like look at what's been showing up, what are the patterns, where are you running into the same wall over and over again, and get some support from someone who can help you so that you can have a different experience. Because our subconscious mind is so powerful. If we believe something to be true, like the guy that was worried about being creepy, right? If he has this belief, maybe something happened or maybe another friend said something about his feedback from a woman and then now he's scared of being creepy, he'll find evidence of that actually. Right?

Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah.

Same thing with just doing the work on ourselves and the patterns that we have. We will stay the same unless we're in enough discomfort to change. And women are more likely to say, okay, I need to take some action. I need to make this commitment. I need to invest in my wellbeing. And men are less likely to do that.

Right.

Yeah.

So you're saying guys are lazy. Okay.

So we're not self-aware. I think it's more—

I'm saying I think it's just more socially acceptable for women than it is for men, which I wish it wasn't the case. And I do think it's changing, but it's our society, right? But men are— there is a real crisis. Like, men are feeling super alone. There's an issue with like porn. There's an issue with the dating apps and social media. Like, all of that is creating so much isolation. And it's perpetuating itself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's toxic in a lot of ways.

Yeah.

Well, my, my next question was, how does a woman's higher level of emotional awareness give her the advantage in the current dating market? But I think you just kind of answered it, is they're willing to do the work, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we can sense things, right? Like, even if a guy presents, you know, well, like externally with like the car or whatever, we can feel what's going on before. Like you said, you know, the seventh sense. We know what's up, right?

So yeah, that's, that's true.

Yeah, yeah, we, we can feel your energy. We can feel what's not being said. And so you working on your own self and getting grounded and connected and making sure that you have community and making sure that you have other men. Like, even when I work with men, I, I say to them, I'm going to help you with all this stuff, but I also need you to be in a men's group or men's circle because men need men.

Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think that's— yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Um, well, I think you probably answered all the 3Ds, um, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask it anyway. Why is a man who is proactive about his mental and physical state more attractive than the one who just lets life happen to him? But I, I think you answered it by saying women, they have that 7th sense. They, they know, they can smell success, and success doesn't just mean, you know, wealth or, you know, success at a job or anything like that.

Yeah, that's right. They can tell the guy's grounded or not. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, if we can feel it. And then if, if the guy's not grounded, we aren't going to feel safe, right?

Right, absolutely. Because that's, that's what you're looking for. You're looking for that security, that safety.

And because we're calibrating off of your energy, right?

Right.

Yeah, so we can feel if there's frenetic energy, or we can feel And so it's not, it's not really, you know, fair, but it's just how it is.

Yeah, how it is.

Yeah, yeah, we're used to it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It probably wasn't— I mean, if you look 30 years ago, 40 years ago, whatever, I don't think it was like that because I wasn't born, Rob.

Sorry.

Yeah, sorry to say you were. But, um, you know, men had that, I think, more of that core group back then, and yeah, basically disassociated with it. Right, through pretty much technology and social media and all this. So I think, I think it's pretty, you know, within the last 10 years have been worse, right? I would think.

Yeah. Oh, it's getting— it's, it's— yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's, it's definitely getting worse. And, you know, I really feel for men because I know there's like a level of isolation and loneliness and it just perpetuates itself and it can be they don't know which way to go or what to do or where to turn.

Yeah, right, true, absolutely true.

Yeah.

So from a psychological standpoint, what would you— what would one thing be, uh, you would tell men, um, that are failing to make a connection in this, this time of, you know, this era?

That's one thing you would say is that there's probably something going on underneath the surface that is contributing to that, right? So there's all of these societal factors that that are happening, but also there's people that are coming together and meeting each other and creating relationships every day. Right? So we don't want to get too into that energy because again, then we're going to find more evidence of it. Right? But the other thing is a lot of times there's two desires that are conflicting. So I met with a guy the other day on a consult call and he hasn't been able— he's in college and he hasn't been able to meet a girl and actually have it develop into a relationship. So he was on the consult with me saying, like, what can I do differently? And we explored it a little bit. And we realized that he has a belief that if he does get into a relationship, that he's gonna not be able to have peace.

Oh, that's interesting.

So these conflicting beliefs of like, oh, if— and he just realized it on the call, right? I said, well, there might be something, some sort of protection that's keeping you safe, but it's also keeping you from what you want. And he was like, oh my gosh, because I hear my friends telling me all of their drama with their girlfriends, and I think, oh, I don't want that. So he's kind of blocking himself, but he didn't even realize it. So these are the things that are really important because all of us have these protection patterns from going through life and going through challenges or trauma, potential parents having issues, right? Exactly.

So yeah, yes, it all trickles down. Habitué.

Exactly. Yeah. And whatever we experienced as children becomes our blueprint for our adult relationships, right?

Right.

Whether we like it or not.

Wow. Right.

Because it's programmed into our brains.

Yeah, I imagine it is. Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess you can reprogram, right, if you're— yes, on yourself. And that's probably the key.

That's what I help people do.

Right, right.

You absolutely can. There's neuroplasticity. You can rewire your brain. You can have whole different experience. But if you don't know what's going on, you're just going to be at the effect of the programming, right?

Right. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Um, well, you know, all these we talked about a little bit in the beginning, but all of these social rules, yeah, that are being applied through social media and stuff. I mean, it's a lot of pressure, um, for men to, to do the wrong thing.

Yes. Yeah, there's a lot of pressure in general for men.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely, definitely. I'm good. Yeah, being in a dating game as a young male right now, I mean, you know, if you are— I'm not young, so— but if you're a young male being in the dating game, that, that's got to be difficult. It really does. College and past, right? I mean, that's just, that's not, that's not easy.

Yeah. Well, I think it, you know, it goes both ways though. I will say that the— I don't, I don't want to come down too hard on social media me because it is useful. And let's say all types of media, because there's people who meet each other, um, going live on Xbox playing games, you know, you can meet someone.

Sure, it's a form of socialization. Yeah, no question.

Um, but it goes back and forth, you know, it could be something that, um, you can get eliminated really quickly, or you can have the opportunity for someone to know you for, you know, who you are rather than what you look like, right? That whole initial meeting that you had to do 30 years ago.

Yeah, I wonder though how many people get complacent with just having those online relationships rather than having real—

that's a problem.

I mean, it is a problem, you know.

I think I know, I know guys who can't get out of that, right? Just get stuck in, just get stuck into that.

Yeah, that makes sense.

You mean they meet someone online and then they, they're just pen pals?

Yeah, kind of like that. Well, look, I think they don't want to take that next step. Yeah, I think there are some men that um, you know, are content with the discussion.

Yeah.

Um, and you know, they're, they're probably trading images back and forth, whatever.

Yeah.

Um, and they're satisfying whomever. They could have multiple women that they're speaking with.

Yeah.

And the pressure's off. You really don't have to perform in, in certain areas, right, um, that you would normally fail. And you know, if we're gonna dig down on that, yeah.

Are you projecting? Right.

Um, but then it leads to, you know, that passive approach of, you know, waiting for a woman to choose you, right? Becomes, becomes a trap, right?

Yeah. Well, well, a woman who's emotionally healthy is not going to be connecting with someone online that she met and like trading images back and forth.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

So that's a good screening tool already. Yep, yeah, it's— yeah, I mean, a woman who's emotionally healthy is going to want to connect with you and then get off the app as quickly as possible and meet you in person.

Yeah, I would think so too. Yeah, but men don't have that 7th sense to detect that, so yeah, they're gonna think, hey, you know, this is great, right?

Well, the other thing, the other thing is, um, can you rule out that though the woman isn't looking for that as well. I mean, you can't rule that out because some— there are some women out there that, you know, are content with that as well.

Yeah, it's not just men are bad, but maybe that's— no, no, not emotionally, you know.

But it's— but that's a— that's a tell. Like, that's a tell with how— how healthy you are, really.

Right, right.

That's, you know, so you're— you screening as a man.

Yeah.

Can see like, okay, because You shouldn't really be connecting. You really should not even be building connection through texting. Like, you know, if you're connecting on the app, sure, hi, nice to meet you, have a little back and forth, switch to text, switch to a phone call, and meet as soon as possible.

Right, right, right.

Like, that's, that's the best way to do it. And online is kind of— online is a crapshoot in my opinion.

But like, I think so too.

Yeah, what I started doing is FaceTiming with people before too, because I'm like, I'm not gonna waste my precious time. And it might be a little weird. It might sound a little weird, but just to feel into the energy and see, because then you don't have to take all this time and getting ready and you don't have to spend a lot of money. I had another client and he was matching with women and then driving an hour from where he lived to pick them up and taking them to these really expensive restaurants. And the whole time he didn't even enjoy their company.

Yeah.

Right, right.

And I'm like, dude, You gotta screen them a little better.

Yeah, screen. Yeah, that's a good point, actually.

You guys have to screen out too.

Yeah, especially today's day and age, right? It's easy to screen, so why not?

You gotta screen out. Yeah, and, and also know what you want, right? Like, if you're cool with that, if you're cool with that level of connection, okay, but you have to kind of know what it is.

Yes, you want to make sure they are who they say they are, right?

You know, well, that's the other thing.

That's the other thing, right?

Again, I'm, I'm fairly fresh, you know, 3 or 4 years now out of it. But I can tell you, like, I feel for those stories because, yeah, I understand that, um, the littlest thing can throw it off. And sometimes you hold on to hope, like, okay, well, I don't want to screen too much because I don't want to find out if she does have kids or something. You hope so much that, like, okay, if this meeting goes well, there's huge chemistry, then nothing else matters, right?

Right, that's danger.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. When they bring their husband on the date, you could really be— exactly.

Well, hey there, guys. I want to take a minute and talk about our sponsor, uh, Flip My Life. Rob, why don't you tell everybody about a couple of the products, uh, what's inside them.

Yeah.

And what it does for you, the benefits.

Absolutely, I can do that since I'm taking it, right? Um, we all think we eat healthy all the time, but, uh, We don't, right? I mean, so we eat to survive rather than thrive. So I think, you know, eating, getting some supplements that are, you know, made for getting maximum nutrients is important. So I take— I don't have it with me, but I take Flip7, which is a protein drink, and that actually has micronutrients, macronutrients, proteins, amino acids, and it ensures that you're getting all the nutrients needed for proper muscle growth, you know, lean muscle mass, weight loss, all complements pretty much across the spectrum, right, for health and nutrition. And then another product I'm taking— they have several products, so you can take a look, but Flip8 is one of my favorites. It's an amino acid creatine HMB. I don't know if you can see that, but it's a pretty cool product. It actually has— for muscle loss and muscle wasting, it actually helps support muscle mass if you're on a diet, you're trying to lose weight. And then I take this one that's really important for gut health It's called Flip 6. Uh, but definitely go on the website, uh, flipmylifenow.com. Uh, but, uh, Flip 6 is great. It actually, uh, supports, uh, good probiotics in the gut, or in prebiotics, uh, gut health. Obviously the gut is important because it does speak to the brain. It's ensuring that your gut health is in check and that your natural flora, um, for immune support is, um, in check as well. Right.

So this is like a product, this is like a system. This is a system.

It is a system. Yeah, there's several products you can take. And basically, you don't have to take everything, right? You take where you feel you're missing, right, where you're missing out. Uh, gut health is a big deal for most people. Uh, protein— enough protein. As you've seen, the, uh, the guidelines for protein has increased. A lot of us don't get enough protein, especially when we're busy working, uh, and, and moving around so much. We don't sit down and eat a ton of protein. So this gives you a supplemental, uh, you know, uh, component of protein that actually has the right nutrients and a right amino acid profile for overall muscle health and growth.

Very good. Thank you. Anyway, well, let's talk about the— we're talking about apps and, you know, the Tinders and the Bumbles of the world, I guess you could say. So statistics show that nearly 70% of singles are burnt out on apps, which makes sense.

Okay.

Yeah, totally makes sense.

Yeah.

So what is that data telling us about long-term success rates of digital dating for men?

Well, to your point, I think the apps add this— like, if you meet someone in the world, right, it organically unfolds and you just learn about them. And you don't even know, are we interested in each other romantically or not? It's just like human to human. You're just meeting another human. But I think the online adds that element of like almost like hypervigilance where it's like not helpful, you know, where if there's a tiny little, like you said, a tiny little thing that we think, oh, I don't want that. Like, I'll tell you a story of my friend. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I tell you this. She had all of these guidelines. She wanted a guy that was over 6 feet, who didn't have kids, who was Latin because she's Latin, and didn't have pets. So that was her kind of her thing.

And then she got married. Pretty narrowed down.

Yeah.

Wow. But the guy that she ended up with, she went on, and he's lovely and they're engaged now. He's none of those things. Yeah, like none of them.

But it's always like that.

Yeah, I mean, and so you want to get clear on what you want, right? But you also want to leave space for what the universe has in store for you, right? Because there is no perfect person.

Yeah.

And when she went on a date with him, she was like, this is someone that I could build with. Like, this is someone that I could build a life with, you know? And it's just funny because now she's posting all these videos of his cat, and it's just hilarious.

Does he have a cat? I was gonna ask.

He has a cat. He had two guys.

I think he has 12 cats, and he's 5'2".

Yeah, I can relate to this, this, um, so much because I know that I've never been that guy that like walks in a room and everyone's like, oh my God, I always knew that, you know, my personality, my charisma, my charm— let me see what else— and my humor always landed that date.

Yeah.

So that's where I think like the social media thing comes in well, because you could always put those things forward, right?

Yeah.

You know, you got a face shot, you know, okay, I look okay from the neck up, right? But it's that— it's those other things like, can I make her laugh? And everything, that opens the door So I think, wow, when you walk in the first time, like, if you're not 6 feet, if you're not this, you're not that, they're more open to change, right?

For sure. And it's, and it's how we feel in your presence, right?

Right.

Like, if we, if we feel safe, if you can make us laugh, that's the best. If you're leading, if you're taking charge and leading, yep, but not being pushy. Like, pushy is not good.

Balance, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Well, we're gonna get—

you're having that steak rare. I ordered it, damn it! That's the way you eat it.

We're gonna get into some of these demands. But, um, first thing that leads into this is, okay, from your experience, you know, what is the first thing women swipe— what is it, swipe, swipe right or swipe left? That they deny.

Right, yeah, left is deny.

Okay, left is not yet. What, so what is the, what is that, um, the first thing women swipe left for? What would you say? One thing, just initial aesthetics.

You're just looking at a picture, it has to be just aesthetics.

Well, yeah, but there's, there's a bio under, right? So you're like gonna say height, weight.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's, it's gonna It's gonna be such a— it's gonna be such a woman answer, but it's like not just one thing. Like, it's like we look at the profile and we get a sense for the person. Yeah, and sometimes that's attractive, which is a problem, right?

Okay.

Oh, convicted felon?

Yes, please.

Okay, let's go.

Yeah, then you gotta call me if that's your pattern. Like, let's work that one out, right?

Yeah, definitely work that out.

Yeah. Um, but yeah, it's just like a feel, like what's the overall feel, right? So, but I went through it with my client the other day because he was, he was off the apps for a while. He just wanted to really do the work. So he, he did the work with me for about a year, and now he's open to dating again. And we went through his pro— his profile, and I was like, okay, I just kind of went through and I'm like, you swipe left. All right, yeah, I was like, that's gonna be a left No, that's gonna be left. That's a left profile. But, but, you know, just general things like, like he had glasses on in a bunch of pics, like sunglasses, right? So if we can't see your eyes, like, we need to be able to see your eyes and we need to have like a picture of your face, right? Like, that's important.

That's helpful.

Yeah. And it sounds obvious, but like a lot of them are like far away pictures with sunglasses on and like we can't Who are you? Like, what do you even look like? We can't tell. We can't read your energy.

True.

So yeah, well, especially with the technology today, like, you know, the camera— there's no excuses anymore.

Yeah.

You know, 20 years ago, I remember when Instagram first came out and stuff, and you're taking these photos with these really low pixel cameras, right?

Yeah.

So okay, some blurriness there, it makes sense. But now, right now, like 3D.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

Can you use cartoon characters?

You can.

Is that all right? Yeah.

Yeah, I always use AI, you.

So yeah, there you go.

I mean, you can do all kinds of crazy stuff with AI, right? Yeah, my friend just posted a headshot and she was like, I didn't have a headshot, no problem, AI just made one for me.

Oh wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but yeah, it's— that is part of the thing. Like I told him, I was like, next time I see you, you know, I can snap a couple pictures of you if you want, you know, right?

Yeah.

Um, But then he, you can, he can even like set your camera up and just like do it, you know.

It's pretty easy, right?

But if you have, I would say if you have a friend that's a girl, ask a friend that's a girl to take a few pictures of you.

That's a, that's very good advice, I think. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, well, I'm not taking pictures of you anymore, or your bestie for 30 years if you're a guy.

There you go.

Yeah, well, you first have to know how to use a camera.

That's true. I'll get you a good side, just turn around. All right, stop.

All right, so let's talk about some of these demands because I added this stuff in here. So we'll talk about demands and we're gonna talk about the photos because I've got a little bone to pick with you.

Um, oh boy.

All right, a bone to pick.

Oh, now you're in trouble.

So the demands, let's get them out of the way because guys are at a severe disadvantage, um, on dating, on the dating apps in particular, because like you said Girls have all these things, physical demands and expectations. You know, you got the height, you got the weight, you got the, you know, the hair. You know, um, this is unfair. I mean, you know, trying to navigate this, yeah, uh, it was, was horrible. Yeah, because you never know. You hear all the time, well, women want this and they want this, and it's like you're always trying to fit in to that mold. And all I could say from my experience, guys out there in the audience, if you're listening, don't lie! Whatever you do!

Of course!

You want to throw a half an inch on yourself, you know, you want to wear a hat but have other photos, fine! But they sense that stuff out! Like, you know, they're like these drug sniffing dogs!

We may want to edit that!

I like that. I think that's true.

Yeah, it is true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, and then the other thing is, well, did you want to respond to that, Jess, or—

Yeah, I mean, I think this is where, this is where people get lost, right? With like, well, what do women want? And it's like, just be your authentic self. Like, if you can just be your authentic self and be the best version of you, and of course that's always going to be evolving and you're still going to be a human, But then you're going to naturally weed out people that aren't aligned versus like, oh, do women like this or they like that? Should I do this or should I do that? Because even that is kind of scattered energy versus like, this is a person who knows who he is. He's grounded in himself. Like my boyfriend now, when I went out with him on a date, I was like, this feels different. Like this energy feels different. I just felt held, like energetically held. And, and it was like, I was like, oh my gosh, this really feels different than what I've been experiencing.

Yeah, yeah, makes sense.

Well, you say, you know, authentic. Yeah, well, you say what women want, and that, that is a big thing because no matter how much you try and say, oh, you know, I don't care, I'm just going to be myself and they'll come to me, that's a problem because you'll, your profile will never get looked that. You'll never go on a date.

I don't, I don't agree with that, actually.

Right. And look, I'm coming from my experience, but I can say that when you talk to other men, or even talk to, you know, your women friends, and, you know, like we said earlier, like, you know, you need to be confident, and you need to do this, and don't wear all this cologne, and try, you know, get a pair of nice shoes or whatever. Yeah, you constantly go through this cycle of, you know, change. And then you meet women who say, Well, something you heard prior, like, okay, women want this, and then, or like, women want the bad boy, and like, you're a good guy, so you got to figure all that out, right? Then you talk to another woman who's a friend, and they're like, no, no, women don't care about that. You're like, can you guys make up your mind? Yeah, you'll see women say, no, no woman wants this, or no woman wants you to be like this, and then you got that in your head, like, okay, I have to change completely. And then you meet someone that'd be like, oh, that's not a big deal, you know, just be yourself.

Well, I think because the generalization of like all women want this or all women want that, like, isn't— can't be accurate for all women. Yeah, you know, it just depends on the woman, right? Like, yeah, yeah, like with the cologne thing, like some people might not mind that, but for me, I'm like, if you're dousing yourself in cologne, that's literally disrupting your hormones. And that's like, yeah, that's a whole other problem.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, you know, for sure.

Um, but I hear you, I hear what you're saying around like, you know, women, women want this and you've heard this and that, but it's like at the end of the day you can only be your own self. And yeah, if it, it helps to look at how you present, right? Like I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend Bree who she does styling for men and she helps them. She'll like decorate, like style their homes and style their wardrobes and that, that can change a man's energy because it's like, no doubt, confidence, right? Yeah, confidence and just the way you present. And so there are definitely things that generally speaking are helpful for sure.

Yeah, without a doubt.

Yeah.

And then I, I did mention the whole good guy versus bad guy thing. Yeah, that's a huge thing.

Yeah, this is the big thing.

Yeah, so I definitely want to touch on that. I, I found that It's good to have a little mix of both, right? And you might have to like navigate that a little bit as a guy, but you have to figure it out. You know, it doesn't mean like go buy a motorcycle and go knock off a grocery store.

And then, you know, good.

That's good to hear.

But you do have to learn how to navigate that because women do want that. I mean, and I think guys want that too. Guys just don't express it. Themselves of what they're looking for. There's no like, you know, tall, dark, and handsome. Like you grew up, we grew up, and all you hear is tall, dark, and handsome. Yeah, guys don't have a 3-word description of a woman, you know, and right, I think that's a disadvantage. But I think if you understand a little bit about what women want, and you know how to transform your life in a way that fits, you can be a good guy and and have that bad boy.

Yeah, mainly you're talking about being a little edgy.

Yeah, right, right. So how do you do that without, you know, going to prison?

Right, exactly.

That's true, because that's what, you know, most guys think.

It's true though, it's true. Like, yeah, and so there's a different— this is a bit of a, like, it's simple but it's, it's simple but it's maybe not super easy to understand, but once you get it, you get it. But we don't want a nice guy, which is different than a good guy. So a nice guy is a people pleaser, right, who is not being fully honest, right? And maybe kind of a pushover. So that we do not want that.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

But we want a good guy. A good guy is a guy who is in his groundedness. He has his center. He won't let you push him around. You know, he can hold it. He can hold it all. He can hold himself. He can hold you. But for many, many years, I was into the bad boy guys. And eventually, I had to do a lot of work on my end to stop finding that attractive.

Truly.

Because I was like, oh yeah, convicted felon? Let's go. And I wish I was kidding. Yeah, but, but now, you know, now that I've done a lot of work on it, it's unattractive to me. Like, when someone's— like, before, when I was single, someone's inconsistent, someone's kind of like messing with your emotions, someone's connecting with you and then pulling away. I'm like, this is like a little boy now. Yeah, like, this isn't a, a healthy guy. But I had to get to the point where I was secure and healthy within myself so that I wasn't trying to seek— because what that actually is is a mechanism where we're trying to correct our childhood with the bad boy, right?

Okay, yeah.

And like, if we can make sense, right? And so if we do the work, then it's no longer attractive, right?

Right, right.

So that's on the women's end, but same thing with men, right? Like, if you're into like the, the dark, like, mysterious girl that like doesn't return your text or like leaves you hanging or whatever, then there's probably some work to do there. And you can have, you can have a mix like you said. So you don't have to go swing the pendulum all the way over here, right? Because it also creates polarity and attraction, right? So, right, you can still have the attraction and it be healthy, right?

So I think there's a few things you said on the, uh, which I think brings a lot of clarity to good versus nice. So, but, but I think women also, you know, and I understand the difference when you say nice, like it doesn't mean be a jerk to everybody, you know, because women also do appreciate like how you treat other people, how you treat your mom, how you treat other people. Yeah, it's important, but don't be a pushover, right? Right.

That's the key.

Be assertive, have confidence. And look, guys, you, you have to balance it. You have to work at It's not something you're just going to have overnight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if it wasn't modeled for you, which most men it was not, then you're not going to have any frame of reference for it, right? So this is why I say get yourself into a men's circle or a men's group. And if you need help with that, if you're listening, shoot me a message and I'm happy to send you some. Um, one of my friends does, does one on Zoom um, every Monday. And also there's some in person, but it's really, really important to be around other men who are also working on this.

Yeah, right, it makes sense. Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely.

And you do offer consultation, correct, Jess?

Oh yeah, yeah, like I work with a lot of men and I help them with this, and a lot of them find it really supportive to have a woman, like a woman's perspective, when they're navigating some of these things.

I think that's probably better. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I can, I can look at, okay, show me the conversation with her. Okay, this is what's going on and this is what you should say back. And not in a way that's not authentic, but just helping them show up to lead with that energy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, I think that's a big foundation with Project Wise. We know, we said, rely on women for a lot of this stuff to improve men. Yeah, I know in my life the times that I've relied on men to tell me how to treat other women and what to do on dates, so like I failed every single time, right? Um, it's only been, you know, women, women friends, or just, you know, research I've done through women, you know, telling you, right, right, right. Yeah, that's what's helped me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Men have no idea.

Well, it's— and it depends, right? So Because only men who have had models of healthy masculinity have an idea, right? And even then, maybe still no, right? So it's okay. You're not alone. This is what's happening in our society. There's also a lot of really messed up messages in society around all this stuff. But yeah, I have a client and he said to me, I introduced him to a men's circle And he was like, thank God, because he was asking his male friends and they were giving him advice and it was not helping at all. And if anything, it was making things worse.

Oh boy.

So you also want to look at who you're surrounding yourself with.

Without a doubt. I think that's in life in general. Yeah, absolutely.

I agree.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And look at, do they have what you want, right? Right. And whether they're in a relationship or not, because that's not always the gauge, but just like, how are they moving in the world? Do they have healthy relationships? How do they handle, you know, conflict or problem solving? Like, how are they, how are they doing overall in life? And is this someone who you think is a source that could be supportive for you? Because they're going to be giving you advice based on their own life experience too, right?

That's right. Right.

And how they are with other people, which leads me to a question I just added to this because I think I mentioned it earlier. What, in your opinion, um, what's the value behind how a man treats his mother? Let's say, like, what that relationship is, like, what's the boundaries there, and what does that tell you as a woman looking— maybe not even to date or to settle down, just like, yeah, perspective.

Yeah, I think generally speaking, how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he's going to treat you. Um, but sometimes if it's not a healthy dynamic, if it's mama's boy type dynamic, right? Like, like, I have, I have a client now who his mom is almost treating him as like a surrogate partner where she doesn't want him to have a girlfriend, she doesn't want him to get married, and that's not great.

Yeah, so that's not great.

No, like, and that's why he has not had a relationship, right? So it's like we can't speak in sweeping generalizations about it. But generally, I would say like how a guy treats his mother will be a good indicator of how he treats you.

Yeah, right.

Right.

And I think, you know, with saying that, the— I think men have to realize that too, like going into a date, you know. They have to understand, like, women are looking at this. Is that so? What do you think about when women are going on these dates? Do you, from a woman's perspective, is that something they want to know early on? Like, oh, I want to meet your mom, or I want to be in that environment in third dates. I want to see how you interact. Is that a thing, or is that just something I'm—

I think you just, like, as a woman, You're just, you're just listening, right? Like, the biggest thing I tell my female clients is just be the observer, right? Be the observer, listen, and you will get a lot of information from doing that, right? So it doesn't mean you necessarily need to meet his mother, but like, how does he speak about his mother? How does he speak about his family? How does he speak about maybe his past relationships? Like You can get a lot of information if you're just being the observer and being in reality. But where people, men and women, can miss the mark is where you mentioned before, like the attraction. Like if we're attracted, it's like, oh great, off to the races, right? But then we're not discerning enough. And then we end up in a relationship with someone or, you know, a few months down the road, a few years down the road where it's like, shoot, this was totally based on physical chemistry and there wasn't really a lot of compatibility.

Right, right. That's, that's actually a really big distinction there, I think, you know, between that attraction and compatibility, right? Yeah, because we do forget that. We, you know, especially physically attracted to something.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, just take some, jump in, right?

People jump in and that's it, and they think, yeah, yep, 5 weeks later they realize, holy smokes, you're just being—

I remember those days, you're like, you know, you're in this intense relationship, the chemistry is incredible.

Yeah.

And all you're thinking of is, God, I hope this doesn't happen, right? Or I hope she doesn't do this, right? You know? Yeah. What is that?

Fingers crossed. Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, and, and that's why we, we need to just slow down.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like really slow down, which is not going to be the natural tendency, right? But it's like, slow down get to know interesting people and just see, right? Because then you will end up setting yourself back. That's one of the reasons why it took me so long to get to where I am because I would just be like, "Oh, I'm attracted to them. Great, cool." And then I gathered a lot of material that informs my coaching, so that's helpful. But now I know what not to do.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

Yeah.

Well, speaking of what not to do, let's start talking about these, uh, photographs.

So the bone to pick, the bone to pick with you.

So I was perusing your, your Instagram and I was watching some of your reels because I was trying to learn something. And what I learned is to—

you've done everything wrong. Yeah.

Uh, so let's talk about photos because it is, you know, we're talking about the apps, we're talking about, you know, the online stuff. This is a very important information. I've heard that some of this stuff before, but I want you to clarify. So, um, I'll start with the glasses because you brought that up earlier. So no sunglasses, you said in your video, right? Yeah, but you didn't— okay, forgive me if I, if I'm wrong, but I don't remember you saying, okay, you can post one picture with your sunglasses on, but make sure the other 6 or with them off so we can see your eyes. Yeah, I think that's an important distinction because I want to make sure guys—

I would just say no sunglasses overall in those, all the photos. Yeah, because the eyes are the windows to the soul. You need to be able to see. And there's not that many pictures. It's, it's still hard to— even with the pictures, it's hard to get a sense for somebody.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's a barrier. It's like, it's like this, right?

Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's good.

Yeah, it's not a deal breaker, like, but I would just say, you know, best practices would be no sunglasses.

Yeah, of course. I mean, it makes sense, you know. Yeah. Okay, so then next one, I think it's hilarious. No fishing pics.

Yeah, I'll tell you, I gotta throw everything out now. Luckily you don't fit.

Yeah, all those, uh, worms I have.

Yeah, tackle box.

Listen, I've heard this before. Really? And I remember the first time I heard it.

What?

Like, I don't even—

who?

I don't know any guys.

Who does that fishing?

Yeah, yeah, I've never seen that.

Oh my gosh, there's so many fishing pics.

Well, you're not trying to— you're not trying to date guys.

They're like, yeah, right, right, really, right, true.

So what is it? Tell— give me the, the lowdown on no fishing pics. Is it the fish? Is it the water? Like, what is it that throws you guys off?

I don't know, it's just, it's It's just strange. Like, it's like, you can like fishing, but why do you need to post a fishing pic? And the absolute worst is like hunting pictures.

I was gonna say, how about a deer behind you, right? You know?

Okay, so it's more down the line of the whole animal thing, or—

Honestly, I don't even know. I just know every single woman I know is like, ugh, fishing pic.

Yeah, I don't think you— I mean, yeah, you're not really putting your best self forward when you show up.

It's kind of weird. Like, can you explain? Can you explain to me, as like, or is it's not something you would do, it sounds like, right?

Or it is?

No, no, I mean, I, I don't fish, but I'm thinking, I'm thinking about the guys who do fish.

Like, why would they do that?

Well, it's, it's, it's like, you know, you're, you're taking a photo of, you know, yourself maybe in the car, maybe in the gym, things you do, things you like, your hobbies. Yeah, you know, you're camping. Like, what's the difference? So you're hoping that a girl likes fishing and trying to distinguish between like, what's the, like, what's the foul? Yeah, you know, what is it? Because if you're, if you're like, I don't hear women saying don't take a picture while you're camping, right? Like, the river's 10 steps away from your tent. What's the deal? Like, if you're fishing, like, where's that distinction of good to bad? Like, I don't, I don't get it.

I think, I think it's just because so many people do the fishing pic. It's just It's so competitive.

And I didn't realize it's that big of a— like, yeah, people doing fishing pics.

Yeah, I've heard it. Yeah, well, I mean, if you were a fisherman, yeah, you know, yeah, you would take fishing pics.

And then they show the fish. They're like, hi, here's my fish that I caught.

And I'm like, you travel a lot. Yeah, you take a lot of traveling pics. It's part of your hobby. You're taking— you maybe you're posting a picture where you're traveling, or you take a picture with your dog, right, right, right.

You know, but I don't know if I was a girl. I mean, the dog's not hanging.

Maybe— no, but that's hanging. Yeah, that's what I think.

I'm telling you, it's—

that's, that's a good answer.

It's the death of an animal.

I accept that answer.

I, that's what I think.

I think that's— at least you have a response and you're not a woman.

Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah. Well, I was gonna ask you guys, like, why would someone post a fishing pic?

Yeah, but I think for those— I think for those reasons that it's maybe maybe it's a hobby. Yeah, this is my hobby. And, you know, I took a picture yesterday of me playing basketball. Yeah. And that's not offensive.

Different than a dead fish hanging out.

But that's what I'm saying. If that's, if that's the—

in the end, when you're fishing, most of the people are going to either kill the fish and eat the fish or throw back. So it's just—

I get that. That's why I asked you about the animals.

It's a bit weird.

Yeah. I mean, well, let's move on from the dead.

No fishing. No fishing pics.

The fish's head.

Just trust me on this one.

Just trust me.

The horse's head was—

yeah, it definitely—

not that. Yeah, no, no, no hunting pics either.

Yeah, so this next one is a little befuddling too. The, uh, pics with multiple friends. Again, I get it, all the pics are, you know, with your buddies and you're drinking.

Is this the one that most bothers you? No. Okay, no, we gotta get that right. Okay, the fishing one.

Oh, not so bad.

I think it's I think it's the most peculiar. Like, I don't— I'm trying to understand what the motivation is. That's why I asked, is the animals there, right? So let's— can we move on? We can move on. You're obsessed with the fish.

I'm obsessed.

But you earlier—

I'm posting one tomorrow. All right, I have a goldfish.

All right, that's creepy. Um, earlier you mentioned community, so I think there's some value in, okay, I'm showing one photo with some of my friends just to, just to say, okay, he's got friends, if, you know, if I, you know, as emergency contact or something like that. Like, is it just all pics? No, no friends.

I mean, I think it's fine to have a pic maybe, but here's the thing, and this is not really— it's not really fair, but like, if you're posting a pic, like, I've seen this where guys post a picture of a friend that's like way better looking and way taller, and it's like, why would you put yourself beside that person. Yeah, that's not—

that's, that's actually smart, right? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

And also, if there's multiple pics with multiple people, then we don't even know which one you are, right?

Right. So that's the more highlight around the head then.

Oh, and that— no, okay, thank you for bringing that up, because the other thing is people will post a pic with multiple people, right? Like emojis over the faces of everyone.

Yes, except them.

Weird. Yeah, yeah, except that.

Okay, like, why not just crop it?

Yeah, right.

Yeah, it's, it's strange, you know.

That sounds strange.

Yeah, it's strange.

See, Tony, you've done this, haven't you?

No, actually. Okay, um, maybe one. Yeah, I can't even remember.

With the emojis on the face? No, no, I just want to make sure. That is—

yeah, that's—

don't put emojis on faces.

No, but I have posted a picture of me and a couple, right, guy friends, right?

Yeah, I think it's fine. Like, it's not None of this stuff is a deal breaker, right? But if you have a profile with all of these things where it's like sunglasses, fish, million people, it's like, okay, what are you doing?

Yeah, well, no, look, the reason why I'm bringing this up is it is— guys need this information. Help. Yeah, they need help.

Totally.

Because it's the easiest stuff to remedy.

Yeah.

And it's, it's so hard for them to just like, don't post a picture with a fish. It's simple.

It's very simple, right?

Yeah, but this one, this is another one that's weird. Here we go, the mirror selfies. Like, who— oh yeah, I know, women to tell guys not to take women's selfies. That's all I used to see.

Take what?

No, no mirror selfies.

Like shooting in the mirror?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, so you can see them in the mirror, right? You can see the guy holding the phone up, taking a picture of himself in the picture.

Oh, okay.

Women do this all the time. Time. So I'm thoroughly confused by this.

Well, for both people, you shouldn't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, this is not—

it's a full part for both.

Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's just strange.

Like, it's like, all right guys, listen, we gave you 4 really good—

yeah—

tactics.

What not to do.

What not to do. What not to do to fix your profile. Yeah, as soon as possible.

Definitely.

All right. No fishing pics, no sunglasses, no multiple friends, and no mirrors.

And also, no, don't shoot from a distance. Really get, you know, get your picture in. Yeah, let people see who you are. I like that. The eyes are the windows to the soul. And that's—

yeah, you know, like I was saying earlier, there's no excuse today. Technology is incredible. You can zoom in. Just if you're not zooming in, you're hiding something, right? You said that.

Yeah, well, that's true.

That's true.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Uh, which leads us into self-image part of this. Yeah, unbelievable conversation.

Yeah.

Uh, if a man doesn't have a positive internal self-image, how does that manifest in his body language and vibe before even saying the first word?

We'll feel it.

Yeah, I think that's what Jess—

yeah, yeah, because nonverbal communication, I mean most communication is nonverbal, right? So even for women, like how we hold ourselves, how we speak, our mannerisms. That's why the online thing, you're not really gonna know until you meet in person if there's any kind of a vibe, because you still can't read that until you meet in person.

Yeah.

So, but yeah, we can, we can feel it, we can sense it. So that's why, again, doing the work within yourself you'll just carry yourself differently. You'll sit up taller, your shoulders will be back, you'll have that energy of exuding confidence, and we can feel all that. Yeah, even in the— even on the app, even on the profile.

Yeah, you were saying that on the pictures, right?

Yeah, I can read it.

I'm like, what if somebody's standing up straight with the fish? I'm sorry, maybe not.

The poor fish.

That poor fish, I'll tell you. Yeah.

Yeah, you're gonna get a call from Peter.

I'm gonna get a call soon. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're a guy listening to this and you need help with your profile, like, I help people with this.

Yeah, show me.

We can go through it. We can go through the pictures. We can go through what you wrote and also what you're looking for, because you want your profile to basically magnetize in what you're looking for. So you want to think about the woman that you want to attract. What is she looking for?

Right, right.

Look, I think it's the best money spent, right, to get this kind of information. Because guys, I know myself, I always paid for everything, right? Every date, right, right. Most guys, I would say most guys I know do that, right? The money you're spending on dinners, right? Yeah, put that money towards some good consultation. Reach out to Jess Conscious Relationship And Dating Coach, fix your profile. And you'll probably save on the next 3 dates.

Yeah, well, you'll find the right— and you'll find the right—

and you'll find them.

That's the key. Yes, find the right date.

Yes.

So qualityoflife.com. Yeah, immediately.

Yeah, immediately.

Immediately.

I was promoting. Yes, sir.

Yeah, thank you, thank you. Yeah, I'm happy to help. Yeah, if you're resonating as you're listening and you need some support, let's connect. Book a call. I do free connection calls and we can talk and see what's coming up for you and what's keeping you stuck.

Right. Um, so continuing with the whole failure that is man, um, so what would your advice be to a guy who kind of loses that, uh, you know, spark? Um, what, what steps could he take to go about, you know, kind of like, yeah, himself again? And yeah, that's— well, let me, let me preface, outside of any go to the gym and, you know, take your body physically. We know that, that, that works. What would you say outside of that?

Well, actually, I think that's a really, really important part, is like the whole 360-degree approach, right? So your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Without a doubt, we need to work on every one of those areas, right? Because like I was saying, I really feel for men Like some of the men that have come into my world have— they're amazing humans and they just don't know how to navigate because they were never taught, right? So it's like, it's about them feeling safe enough, secure enough within themselves that they're anchored within themselves. Like they're rooted into the ground, right? So whether or not a woman says or does something, you know, to make them feel a certain way, they don't get taken out by it.

Right, right, right.

Versus like a tree that's not really rooted in the ground and something happens and it just kind of falls over or gets really taken out. So yeah, I mean, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. So how are each of those areas of your life? And, you know, you need to think about each one of them because that's the well-rounded person, not even just man.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, absolutely.

And I think I agree with that, with that men have to accept and embrace that, you know, there's some things they have to work on and overcome.

Without doubt.

Yeah, yeah. And every person, like, not just every, every human.

Yeah.

And dating and relationships are going to bring up your stuff, so nothing is wrong if that's what's happening. It's just really pointing us in the direction of where you need some support, where you need some healing. That's it. And, and the wall to get to your next level is sometimes high, and you have to scale it, and there's spikes in it, and it's uncomfortable.

Yeah, yeah.

But then it's worth it because you get to the next level, right? So even if you're in a moment where you're just feeling so uncomfortable, you're not sure which way to go or which way to turn, that is direction in itself. It means something is not working. So hitting that rock bottom is actually a blessing, even though it feels horrible, because then you have nowhere to go but up. You have to do something differently, right? Right. Like whether you decide you want to get some support, you want to work with me, you want to work with someone else, but you have to do something differently because if you keep doing the same thing, you're going to keep having the same results, right?

Yeah. Yeah, uh, let's talk a little bit about emotional intelligence because this is a phrase I hear all the time. You know, when I was dating, it's like, oh, you're not emotionally intelligent enough.

They told you that a lot?

Yeah, I'm surprised by that.

No, I'm, I'm very emotionally intelligent.

Yeah, I don't think you got that feedback.

Yeah, just, just saying you hear it a lot. Yeah, yeah, even, um you watch a lot of these dating shows, which I have in the past, and they, they say this phrase a lot, you know. So it is something that's there. So, um, how often is that misunderstood by men, um, as being soft?

And great question. I mean, we— emotional intelligence is attractive, right? But also There's a—

Jess, can I cut you off one second? Yeah, define that the best you can because you say emotional intelligence.

What does that mean?

What is that?

Because guys are going to be like, okay, yeah, great, what are you talking about? Yeah, so I mean, I would say self-awareness, like being willing to look at yourself, being willing to use any obstacle in your life as an opportunity to expand and evolve. And being able to speak from that place, right? So we can feel it. And the thing that's interesting is a lot of women, this is where women have a leg up on men because women, it's a little bit more socially acceptable for us to have emotions, for us to get support, for us to talk with each other about these things. So we've been able to develop that muscle a little bit more than men. But what happens is then we elevate here and then there's not a lot of men that can hang. Up here with us.

Yeah.

So, and it's not, you know, men have strengths that, that they're there and we're here, right? But it's just, it's just a thing. So if you work on your getting to know yourself, right, like know thyself, what makes you tick, what, what have you gone through in life, and being able to kind of speak to that from a grounded place, um, not, not oversharing, not going into like too much emotion too soon because we still have to feel that you can hold yourself, right? But that you're not afraid of your emotions. Like, yeah, when men cry, I think it's so attractive.

Even on the first date?

Probably not on our first date. Yeah, probably not on our first date. A man that's in touch with his emotions is attractive.

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

But I just think this is hilarious, like this, this what you guys are talking about, what you just said is Jess says it's so attractive when men cry. Then you say it's like, okay, well, let's put that stipulation on. Yeah, it's okay to cry, don't do it on the first date. Yeah, because guys need this.

Yeah, specifics.

Specifics.

Well, because I think what Jess said earlier is you— they want— women want to know you can hold it together emotionally, right? So yeah, although they want you to be emotionally vulnerable, yeah, they don't want you to just come right out, the spigot's going.

Okay, but let me, let me be the contrarian for a second. Like, if, you know, if you're on a date and you're having an intense conversation, right, guys, you're going deep, you're there a couple hours.

Yeah.

And someone brings up, um, you know, one of your pets that died. Yeah, you get a little emotional, maybe a little time.

I'm just saying, that's probably exceptions.

That's okay.

Okay, well, yeah, guys need to know this.

Yeah, guys need specifics.

You're right.

And yeah, I mean, I went on a date with someone and he said that he was talking about how his dad passed away and he had like his eyes got a little watery and I'm like, that's what I would hope would happen.

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's a good point.

All guys are gonna like fake the dog, that dog story.

If you're oversharing too much too soon.

Well, that's the key, right?

Yeah, of course.

Like too much too soon. That's like, you know, you want to ease in. You want to make sure, as a man or a woman, that whoever you're sharing with is actually safe to hold your heart.

That's a good point.

So you don't want to just go in out the gate of like, here's all my most delicate stuff, you know. But, but a man that's in touch with his emotions is really important because we can also sense if you're kind of disconnected from that, and then that's going to impact the connection, right?

Right.

Yeah.

Well, the other thing, uh, I want to drill down on more is the, um, you mentioned earlier, we talked about it earlier too, is the self-awareness. Um, and you asked me, I felt like in, in the time I was dating, this was something I excelled at, right? So I think it's— there's— guys have to put work into this.

Yeah.

You know, you have to look at what's successful for other men. I mean, social media is the perfect platform to do this, right? Where you could see where other guys— what they're saying, and more specifically, what are women engaging with, right?

You know, how they're reacting, right?

How they're reacting, how— what they're commenting.

True. Yeah.

And, and follow that lead. I mean, we do it in business all the time. You follow success, you strive for mentors out there. But some men have this like mental block in their head.

They do it that way.

I'm just gonna do it my way. Oh, that's why you're single.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and the thing too with social media, you have to be careful because there's a lot of information. Yeah, some of it's really helpful, some of it's really going to lead you astray. Same with now we have, since the last time we talked, a lot more people are using AI and ChatGPT and Claude, and, and that's a whole other conversation because those platforms are built to affirm you. So if you're just— you're kind of an input equals output. So if you're asking, you know, ChatGPT all these questions and it's only going off of what you're asking and that information, it's not going to be helpful, right? And social media, if your algorithm is following people that have what you want— but sometimes you can't tell because there's a lot of smoke and mirrors too, right?

Yeah.

So you got to kind of tune in with yourself. Like, when someone's helping me with my social media and she's like, okay, let's look at your algorithm, like we're gonna have to change it and make sure. And so I sent her a screenshot and she's like, oh, that was what it is without changing it? And it was like relationships and like business and health and wellness and da da da. And like, so what I look at is authentic to me, right? So that means that my algorithm's okay.

Yeah, that's good.

But you can get led astray really easily if you're like, how to get the girl, do these 5 things. Or what? It's like, none of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that brings up a good point. So let's talk about some first date strategies. You know, we toyed with some ideas, but let's, let's dive in a little bit. Okay, so activity dates, right? We all hear like, you know, go hiking or, you know, do you feel like that builds more chemistry? Or like, what are your thoughts on that? Because I guess you can go either way.

Instead of going to dinner, you go hiking.

Yeah, you're sitting across from someone at a table, right? Yeah, talking about things. There's a, there's a component of that that's, you know, substantial because you're getting to know someone. Can you get to know someone in the same manner by hiking and you're walking behind the person and you're, you know, yeah, breathing heavy, you're seeing like the worst of that person?

Yeah, that's a great point, right?

Yeah, yeah. Good question. And I think men and women are probably gonna have different answers here, and maybe even women and women will have different answers. But for me, if it's on— if we're talking about online, yeah, yeah, first date should just be like coffee, honestly. Okay, because you want to just see before, and if you have fun, maybe then you go to dinner. You can always extend it, right?

Right, that's a good point.

Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with someone having a whole meal if it's not a vibe.

Yeah, yeah.

You know? And so there's that. And you want to kind of take your time. And as far as activity dates, for me, I never wanted to go on activity dates, especially not the first few dates, because I just don't feel comfortable.

Right.

I feel like it's really vulnerable to go and do an activity with someone. And then for women too, you have to think about, we need to feel safe.

Safe. I was gonna say safety, right? Hiking may not be the place.

Yeah, like going hiking, you know, yeah, with some guy on a mountain, like, where you don't, you don't know him. And true, yeah, it's just not— so we, we have to think about our safety.

Like, but maybe going to a Dodger game or a basketball or something like that.

Maybe.

But you're stuck.

Yeah, like, so on a first date, I would say no.

Yeah, okay.

I would say— and I get it though, because I've heard, I've talked to lots of men about this, where one of my friends, Andrew, he's like, I don't like sitting across the table like adversarial. It's like kind of funny. So I get that. And this is where it's like, do you— like, yeah, do what feels good for you. But you have to think about the fact that women, we don't feel safe most of the time, right? Like, we really don't.

That's fair.

That's very fair. Yeah.

Yeah. So what would make— what made me feel the safest is like let's meet and have tea or coffee for an hour, right? And also, it also prevents that getting swept up thing, right? Where, oh, if there's attraction, then you get swept up, then you're on like a 6, 7 hour date, and now you're all connected, and it's like, yeah, you gotta chill. But then eventually, yeah, activity dates for sure. Yeah, you know, and some people might say, no, I'd love an activity date, right? So if you're a guy who likes activity dates throw out an activity date and you'll see if like the girl wants to do it, and then you'll see if you guys are aligned in that way. Because I would say no, I would say I can't do it. It's already nerve-wracking enough because you're hanging out with a stranger. Yeah, right, that's what you're doing.

Okay, so crawl, walk, run, right?

So no bouncy house.

Bouncy house is fun though.

Yeah.

If that's the activity, maybe I'll make an exception.

Bouncy house, yes, yes, yes, bouncy house in a public place with other people around, right, right, exactly.

Yeah.

So what about some non-verbal cues, um, men should be looking for to see if a woman is actually enjoying herself on, on the date?

That's good. Yeah, does she seem like— well, I was gonna say, does she seem relaxed? But I feel like dates just inherently are always relaxing.

Yeah, yeah, that's tough.

If she's dialing 911, it's not good, right?

Oh, she went to the bathroom and didn't come back.

You may— yeah, you may want to know.

Yeah, um, I, I don't—

well, Tony used to make me text him in the middle of the date, an emergency.

Smart. Yeah, you gotta have an out. Well, that's the other thing.

My water heater broke in 30 minutes.

Yeah, in 30 minutes, text me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I, I don't know, I would say like, like watch her body language, you know, is— how's the conversation flowing? Is she laughing? You know, and you can create openings, right? So, and see how— like let's say you go to coffee and then it's, it's fun, you could say, oh, do you, do you want to grab dinner? Like create an opening and see if she takes the opening.

Right, right.

And if she does— and if she doesn't, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Because like, if you're like me, I had to slow down. Like, I had to chill out, you know? So I might go on a coffee date and then I have to chill and like wait a few days before I see you again, just for myself. It doesn't mean I'm not interested, right?

So, right, that's a good— yeah, that's a good—

yeah.

And, and then, so, um, moving on, the date wasn't great, right?

How—

what's the easiest, classiest way a man could, you know, uh, end it without ghosting?

Yeah, so you want to date?

No romantic connection. I, I've been there.

No romance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you— how do you, you know, don't ask her out again?

Yeah, don't ask her out again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've, I've— so I guess your question is, do you have to end it? Right. Because if you went out on one date and you just don't ask her out again, isn't that the end?

Well, because now the reason why I'm stammering with this is because, like, I've been on those dates where, like, you maybe you, you can tell, like, okay, maybe she's into me.

Right, right.

And then you have to end the date. So I've always gotten caught into that trap of saying, okay, yeah, we should do this again. You know, I think there was a movie out there where—

no, that's something like that.

I think it was Friends. I think.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was so funny. It's like Chandler. Yeah, Chandler, right? At the end of every date, you're like, okay, you're gonna go on the date, you're gonna tell her that like we're not just— and every single time he'd be like, we do this again sometime.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know that's real. And you know, I mean, this is what I, what I do with this stuff. And this— I get asked this question all the time. Yeah, because every— nobody knows what to do to you in this situation. But think about like, how would you like to be treated, right? And personally, I would rather just like, if I went on a date with someone and they're not interested, I'd rather just finish out the date. It would be, it'd be better if he doesn't say, you know, we should do this again sometime, but just kind of finish it out.

Yeah.

And then like, I see if I hear from him, and if I don't, I don't. And then I know that he's not interested. Because it's also really delicate. It's like, you don't want to—

you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings.

Yeah, like, you don't— you only went on one date and you're like, you know what, I don't think this is a match for me. It's like, it's just not— to me, it's not the kindest. But, you know, again, be true to yourself.

There has to be parting words though at the end of the date.

So yeah, so like, thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you so much.

Had a nice time.

Right. And then what if one of them say, well, are you gonna call me again?

Or—

yeah, I mean, it's, you know, that's happening. That is.

Yeah. Yeah, then you might get stuck in the—

oh yeah, moving to Japan next week.

Well, so I will say this, the worst— and I understand why, like Jess, you were saying earlier, like have a couple messages and then go out.

Tony, what you said, it's like, this is why we don't want to build connection— like, yeah, we want to build connection in person, right?

Oh yeah, I was talking about the texting.

Yeah, yeah, because then you develop this like this connection, but it's not really real because it's only through texting. And what we do in that case is we project all of our idealized qualities onto the person.

Yeah.

And they do the same thing.

Yeah.

And then guess what happens? It doesn't live up to that because it's just— it can't, just by the nature of it. So that's why it's like you want to meet as soon as possible. And yes, sometimes, like, like in my current relationship, he was not going to be in LA for for a couple of weeks. So we were talking, and I was acutely aware of this because I'm like, I don't want to go into this fantasy land where I think this. So we would have these conversations, we would— we talked on FaceTime, and one of the days I was— we talked like too long in my opinion, and I was like, we gotta pull back. Like, you know, let me know when you're here and we can revisit, because I was— I didn't want to get into that.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, because I—

because it's real. What I was leading up to was, I do, uh, I've been in that situation where you're texting non-stop and you go on a date, there's no connection.

Yeah.

And all of a sudden, like, redline.

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, yes, exactly. And your time is valuable, right? So it's like, we just have to be in reality. And so much of our society promotes fantasy, like, big time, where we're like, oh, we get swept up and there's— this is our person. And it's like, we do not know this person, right? We don't know them. So can we take our time? Can we get to know them in person, build connection in person? And then, you know, and, and the thing that's hard is like putting yourself out there is really brave, and you might get hurt, and the other person might get hurt, and it's kind of the nature of the beast, you know? It's just like, and if we don't put ourselves out there, then than we just are hurt in general by not having any connection.

Yeah, well, I think you, you definitely have to have a good balance of being emotional but also having a tough skin, because if you don't have a tough skin, you're never going to survive.

True.

In dating.

True.

Uh, rejection is just part of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also don't take it personally, which is so easy to say. Yeah, but like, like, people, you know, if they swipe you left, or like, we you don't know what's going on with anyone, right? Like, so kind of trying to trust the flow of the universe. And like, if what— something's meant for you, like, it's gonna happen and it's gonna flow. And if it's not, it's not. And we can't see around the corner to see why, right? But it's like, you know, like, I had a client— I have a client right now, and he's like, oh, the apps are so hard. Like, I feel so rejected, da da da. And I'm like, but the people don't even— they don't even know you.

Yeah, exactly. So being rejected by people that don't know you, who cares, right?

Yeah, they don't— they don't know you. And it's like, it's just the nature of the dating apps in general. Like, because I screen— I screen— I'm a good screener. And like, and I can just tell right away with people. And people, they'd be like, what do you mean? I don't understand. I'm like, I can just tell it's not a fit. And they're like, why? But why?

I'm like, you know, well, the physical side of it, I think a lot harder.

Yeah.

And if someone says, well, I don't like you, you're hot. Yeah. Like, you're a 10, but you're, you know, your personality is not great. That's a lot easier to live with.

Yeah.

As a man, I think for anybody. But, you know, the swiping thing, if you're swiping me, it's because you probably don't, you know, like the way I look in a sense, right?

What, they didn't like your bio? Yeah.

Yeah.

Touché.

Yeah.

All right. Yeah, I mean, and, and also things don't translate from— what is it, like a picture is 2D, like 2D into the reality, like the 3D reality is different. So there's been times where I haven't really— I'm like, oh, I don't know if I'm really going to be attracted to this person, and I'll meet them in person and like their personality and their energy, and then they're way cuter in person. So, you know, yeah, yeah, that can happen too.

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, look, this has been an amazing conversation again, Jess.

As usual. Yeah.

So great.

So there's so much information we haven't touched upon, but we're going to close out. But before we do, I do want to give you— I'm going to give you a scenario. We're going to do like a rapid-fire round.

Oh boy.

Great.

I'm going to give you a scenario and I need like a 2-3 word answer on what to do. Okay. Yeah, first one, the bill.

You pay.

Okay, okay. Damn it.

Wait, and with the bill— oh, it's rapid fire. Go ahead, keep going.

No, you can say—

go ahead, with the bill. Yeah, the smoothest thing to do is just not even give her the option, right?

Right.

So like, call to the waiter before they even—

yes, yeah, yeah, yes. Or, or take the billfold or grab it.

Oh, of course.

Grab it and pull it over to you and keep talking to her.

Yep.

Or what's even better is go to the bathroom, find your server, yeah, the card.

Yes. Yeah.

She'd be like, what happened? Like, oh, that's right.

How come you don't do that for me?

Actually, I had them.

You actually have done that? Okay.

Rob and I fight over the bill all the time.

Yeah, we're trying to be more masculine.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, all right. Number 2, first date kiss.

I would say generally no.

No. Okay. Ghosting, I think it's self-explanatory.

Yeah, no ghosting.

No ghosting.

Yeah, yeah.

Calling versus texting.

Text briefly, then call.

Okay. Oh, well, let me, let me throw something in there. Um, things didn't work out, but you want to be a gentleman, you want to I guess break up or, you know, cease operations, what's better, a text or a call? Or I guess a call is better, but do you recommend a nice thoughtful text?

Yeah, I think it depends how far into it you are.

True.

You know, like if you've gone on a date, I mean, again, going back to like, you want to just be gentle with people in general, right? So like, yeah. Maybe they're like, if you don't ask them out again and it just kind of falls off, I feel like that's a little bit more gentle than being like, but you could also just say like, hey, it was great hanging out, like I'm not really feeling a romantic connection. That's what I would say to people. Like if I was, if I went out with someone and they would, they would want to do it again and I didn't want to, I would just say that. Yeah, but yeah, but it depends how far in you are. Like if you've been dating for a little bit, then yeah, you have to call or you need to have conversation in person.

Yeah, totally makes sense.

Yep.

Um, well, look, again, it's been great, Jess. Thank you so much for coming back.

Thank you. So fun.

I mean, guys, you, you really got to do the work here. Yeah, you know, I'm living proof because I can, uh, you know, the story— the stories that I've shared are true and real, and you could be successful. You just have to, you know, kind of embrace some things that maybe will take you out of your comfort zone.

Without a doubt. Um, but some great advice today too.

So, yeah, so, so, so, you know, go, go see Jess, um, jesshendrick.com, www.jesshendrick.com. Your IG is now Coach Jess Hendrick, is that right?

That's my old one. So the new, the new one's Jess Hendrick Coaching.

Oh, Jess Hendrick Coaching Instagram.

Shoot me, yeah, you can shoot me a DM, let me know that you heard me on this podcast. And, uh, and we can chat. Let me know if you have any questions. And then there's also an option to just book a connection call with me for 15 minutes, um, on my website, on my Instagram. So yeah, if this resonated and you want to go a little deeper, I'm here.

That's awesome. Yeah.

And then Facebook, Jess Hendrick. But if you just Google Jess Hendrick, you'll find—

yeah, there's lots of stuff. I'm on YouTube too.

Yeah.

Well, go, go do this, guys, and, and go watch some of her reels because I think you will— you'll— I, I I wanted to look at one or two. I was there for 30 minutes.

That's a good sign for me.

Yeah, that's really good.

Um, but thanks again, Jess. We'll, uh, we've got enough material. I want to definitely have you back on and amazing about some other stuff. So you're so well-rounded. I think you had a lot to offer to help guys out, us men.

Yes, thank you.

I need a lot of help.

Yeah, thank you for just being a voice and a support for men because so many men need it, and that's really your ripple effect will be huge. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

And thanks for having me.

Of course.

Thank you so much. Uh, if you enjoyed today's episode, hit the like button, subscribe, and share it with your friends and family. If you don't— and don't forget to drop your questions or experience in the comments below. Uh, special thanks to RCJ Productions. Keith and Lindsay are producers. You can reach those guys at rcjproduction.com. Uh, to find us, our YouTube channel is @thewycast. Facebook, Project Y. Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok, Project Y Now. Thanks again, guys. Check out our socials for our next show, and we'll see you on the next one. Thank you.