She Spent $15K on Bariatric Surgery and Still Couldn't Stop the Food Noise (Until This)

Struggling with, with weight and relationship with food my whole life. I would see something, I can just eat the whole thing right now, like in one sitting, like a box of Oreos, or like at least a sleeve. Why did I just do that? I was ambivalent, lackadaisical in my own health journey.

Did you trust yourself around food before?

Definitely not. See that in the store at the checkout aisle I'm going to buy it. Not even taking a moment to think, am I hungry? Do I want this? I thought, all right, like, this is me and all right, I'm just going to struggle for, or like, this is going to be hard for like all of my life. I did not understand really the, the mental work also involved in, in the process. I knew what to eat, but like not what my mental dilemma with, with the food or with the decisions were. So much of my food decision-making, feeling like I need to grab for something, was so much deeper than, than a hunger.

Who are you now?

I am somebody who is way more in control. I can look at them and be able to walk away, and that is like— I really never thought I would ever be able to do that. I just feel so much more at ease than I ever thought I was going to be.

Finish this sentence: 6 months ago, I never thought I'd be able to blank.

Walk away from a donut.

Mm.

Really and truly, that is something huge. Every cent of your investment is worth it. This was so life-changing. If you go to work with Jessica Lawson, she's super legit and the real deal.

Hi everyone, I'm Jessica Lawson and I'm here with Hannah who just graduated from coaching, which is very exciting. And wanna start by kind of talking about where Hannah started off too. So Hannah and I worked together for 6 months. On her intake form, when she said what she was most worried about when it came to working together was she wrote letting herself down, investing financially, and then not following through. And honestly, that's the fear that a lot of people watching this right now probably also have. So Hannah had her bariatric surgery, she'd worked with nutritionists and others, and she was scared to do something else that she was worried wasn't going to work. So today we're going to talk all about Hannah and learn a bit more about what was actually different for her this time. So first off, Hannah, thank you for being here on this lovely Zoom afternoon.

Thank you for, for having me, Jessica. It's great to be here.

Awesome.

So let's start at the beginning.

Who are you?

All right, so my name's Hannah, uh, as you aforementioned. And yes, I had bariatric surgery or gastric sleeve surgery, uh, in June of 2023, uh, and I had been, you know, kind of struggling with with weight and relationship with food my whole life. I think we had been maybe since, well, about middle school age. And, you know, it's always been something that's been in the back of my mind. And I think having had bariatric surgery, it really came to the forefront after about a year post-op in terms of trying to really figure out the whys behind the, you know, just insecurities with food and, you know, that decision-making. I'm really trying to understand, you know, my body and my mind and how they work together. And so I thankfully came across your, you know, some of your calls like this with other, you know, previous patients or clients, excuse me. And that, you know, started me off on the journey.

Awesome.

So you had surgery June 27th, 2023. And my question for you is, why did you have surgery?

Why did I have surgery? It's a great question. I was looking for a, you know, a change in my life and my body. I was tired of living in the body that I was in. And I knew for my health I needed to get weight off. And I guess I also knew deep down that I needed to fix the root of the cause of my eating and food, you know, I guess food attachments in sort. And I needed to take some drastic measures.

When you had surgery, did you think it was going to solve everything? Did you think like it was going to solve all your problems with food? Did you even know that like— right, did you even know that what the, what the reason why you gained the weight and needed the surgery in the first place was?

No, you know, it's a good question. I initially, yes, I thought for sure like, okay, having surgery everything's going to be fine now. And it's going to be a one-size-fits-all process. And boy, was I wrong. But it's been an amazing journey. But certainly, I had no clue what was to come after surgery. And I did not understand really the mental work also involved in, in the process.

Hmm.

When do you think it became apparent that mental work was needed in the process?

Well, I would say early, early on, I started to realize like, oh, you know, maybe, oh, 6 months to a year post-surgery that it was like, oh wait, I like, yes, I have this restriction on my, uh, my body. Like, it's— it was, you know, cut up, and— but now I'm still— there's still things that are like recurring that there— that were before surgery. And if I don't get a handle on this or even understand what's going on, like, I'm gonna be in trouble again. Um, and I think so, probably about— yeah, I'd say about 6 months in, in 6 months post-op, I realized like, oh, something's— I gotta, I gotta work on this.

Okay, so it sounded like old habits started to come back.

Yes, yes.

What were the old habits that came back first?

Uh, grazing, I would say. Just the non— uh, certainly the, uh, how do you— what do I say, uh, the, the room resistance to like, uh, planning, pre-planning for anything, and just like thinking that, okay, because I have this restriction, I'm still gonna be able to like, you know, stop myself for this or that. That, that— I think that was the— not I think, it definitely was the impetus for like, oh, okay, I could really go down a spiral here, and I need to like plan, or like, this is going to be a disaster.

But what does spiral look like? Like, I'm curious. I think that's different to everyone too.

Of course. Uh, I think that, well, thinking back to, you know, prior, prior surgery life, that, uh, like, uh, I would see something and it would just, it would be like, oh, I'm gonna, I can just eat the whole thing right now, like in one sitting, like a box of Oreos, or like at a sleeve, uh, and, and just be fine with that. Or even, you know, or just like, okay, I'm gonna run through the drive-through and it's whatever because no one's watching me do this. And okay, I'm, you know, like, that's, that's fine because, oh, you don't see it, it doesn't count. And so that kind of— it's like, and that would just, uh, you know, start the process off.

How'd you feel when you did that?

Uh, in, in the moment, like, oh, was satisfied, or I thought, okay, this is, this is what I wanted, and great, and now I feel good. But after, it was like, oh, I feel disgusting, or, you know, like, this is, like, why did I just do that? So not like in the long run it made me feel any better than before I I binged or before I spiraled, no doubt. And I, and I would have never po— like, even, uh, like, we, you know, you— we talk a lot about the STOP method and really just being mindful in your program, and that was not a part of my even repertoire, uh, prior to, to, uh, doing any kind of work mentally. Okay.

By the time we first talked in November of last year, so November 2025, you were then 2 and a half years post-op. Take me into your day-to-day at that point.

Sure. So we, we definitely talked a lot about, you know, what does the current like eating habits look like. And I, you know, would certainly— I would start off my day with like a proffee, like a protein coffee, and just like power through the morning on that. And, you know, have a substantial lunch, you know, maybe a snack in between. Like after work leading into dinner, and then, you know, maybe then dinner and then some grazing after dinner because whatever the kitchen— it was just like everything was out and available. Uh, and so there wasn't so much, uh, like kind of just knowing how the meals fit into my day and how to really provide myself with that, uh that structure to really set myself up for, for success.

Okay.

What was food noise like in your head?

Food noise in my head? That's a good question. I always struggled with— oh, not even thinking something through, that it was like, okay, the, you know, the thought would be in my head like, ooh, I want a candy bar because that just sounds good. Or like, oh, I see that in the store at the checkout aisle, I'm gonna buy it. And like, not even taking a moment to think, am I hungry? Do I want this? Um, you know, what, like, why right now? Uh, did I eat before? You know, just there was no, um, not repercussion, but no processing of like the why. Uh, and I think that that was, that was totally, uh, triggering for me of like, okay, uh, you know, I'm just doing just because I've always done it.

Okay.

When you came to me You had already worked with a nutritionist and a health coach, right?

Yes.

Okay. What was your experience like with those?

Yeah, with prior, uh, um, coaches, I had definitely gotten, uh, a stronghold on, on, uh, given, given option, like many options for, for meal planning and, and various you know, ideas. And that was, you know, helpful in terms of like knowing what to eat. And, you know, but never I could say it— nobody that I had worked with ever had— we hadn't really delved into like, okay, where is the— where are these food, you know, insecurities or addictions kind of coming from, where is it stemming from, uh, you know, what are the different patterns. So that was, you know, just kind of hard. It's like, okay, I knew, I knew what to eat and why it was good to eat it, but like not what my mental, you know, dilemma with, with the food or with the decisions were.

Yeah, it sounds like you know, you know what's healthy, and that's, that's not hard to figure out either, right? Like, you can Google it, you can— there's a variety of ways to figure that out. Sure. But you never really knew why you ate what you ate.

Yeah, exactly. And right, what was, you know, why were certain patterns either helping or hurting my, you know, current status, for sure. Uh, and really, yeah, and just digging into the root of like, all right, well, why you know, where did this even, you know, start from and how do we, you know, shift some of it? And also not even realizing that it could be shifted or at least worked on.

Yeah, a lot of people think that they're just this way and this is the only way they're ever going to be for the rest of their life. Yes. And that is that. And the surgery didn't fix it. Why would some random woman on the internet be able to fix it?

A million percent.

Yeah, yeah, seriously, that's exactly what they think.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I was, I was in that same, the same, same boat for sure.

That's my next question is like, how'd you find me? Like, how did I come across your world?

Yeah, uh, it's a great question. I, I think that I had told you sort of in the beginning that, uh, oh, I would— before having surgery, I would kind of just peruse the internet, whether it was Instagram, TikTok, of like just different people in the bariatric community. And your, you know, your content just started to pop up in my, you know, the For You pages or whatever it is, you know, it was like, okay, I would, you know, I had seen it even before getting the surgery. And I think I always—

Really?

Yes.

You saw me before your surgery?

Yes. Wow. Seriously. Yeah.

Okay. That's cool.

Yeah. And I remember thinking like, okay, this lady, like, just seems to really know what she's talking about. And like, it just, it drew to me like the, you know, it's like, okay, you were a former, you know, obese person and you, you went through it, you know, you really talked about, okay, you went through all these steps and with how you navigate your program. And I thought, okay, this, this sounds like something up my alley. And it just, it took me, you know, 2 years to whatever, to make the, or take the plunge. But I think I just always knew from the way that you you know, projected your, your voice, I guess, that it was like, okay, this, this seems like a good, a good fit.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Yes, I did not know that.

So I guess I never shared anyhow.

Yes, very. I mean, there's a lot of people that I've worked with that have followed me for a long time. And I think one of the barriers is kind of being comfortable asking for help. And feeling like it's okay to get help.

And for sure, yep.

Like, is that anything that resonates with you, or you ever felt—

so I, I, yes, a million percent. And my biggest, uh, whoa, sorry, my biggest, uh, fear for myself was like, okay, I've spent a lot of money on like a lot of people, or, you know, between surgery and, you know, then working with various people. And I'm thinking like, wait, why? What would justify in my mind spending another amount of money to work with someone who, yeah, seems to know what she's talking about and does seem really legit, but like, what, what's gonna make me follow through this time or not, you know, or not give up on myself? I was very, um, you know, apprehensive for myself just knowing my, my, you know, usual pattern that I thought, oh great, am I just gonna be— is this gonna be a waste of, you know, of my time again, or of my, of my money, really? Uh, and that's— I think that was a total, you know, fear of mine. Yeah.

Yeah.

So do you— were you worried about that before we talked because you didn't know what I— what we would do together, or like you were worried about whether or not you would actually do the work, or Uh, I get a combination of both.

I think I knew that you knew what you were talking about, or whatever, like that, you know, it was evident that you had this, you know, scientific background, then not, you know, you had done all this research, uh, and so just the way, you know, to the, the way that you spoke about the surgery prior and post, it's like, okay, you gave way more intel than you know, my surgeon ever did, who— my surgeon was incredible, but I just, I never understood the mind aspect to it all or the brain aspect and how to, you know, help with these patterns. So it was more, you know, just it was more of myself, like just a fear of, of me not putting in the proper work, uh, just because I had, I had done it countless times before and, and, you know, been on a, a go-again cycle.

So before we started working together, how much money do you think you spent, if you had to guess?

Jeez. Uh, yeah, it's like, well, surgery was— I think we had, I'd say With surgery included, surgery was like $15,000, I think, you know, with— and then, you know, I would say probably upwards of like $20,000 on, you know, yeah, between coaches, workout programs, like, yeah, yeah, in that general range.

Totally. And yeah. For sure. And it's like, what was the moment that made you feel comfortable about even reaching out to me?

Um, what was the mo— okay, I have the, the initial call. I think that you, you offer, you know, uh, I mean, I think I still even see it of like, oh hey, I I'm offering this free, you know, workshop of just understanding what I, what I do. And hearing that spiel from you that night, it was like, okay, I need to, or like, I want to do this for myself. And I was like ready to have just a shift in like reality for myself of really, okay, this is the time to like if not now, when? And like, just get, you know, get it together and let's get this done. So yeah, got it.

And so you worked with other coaches. What made you willing to trust someone else again?

I want to know a little bit more about myself here and what's, what's going on. So I think I just, it was like, all right, you said, I just felt like, okay, you were a good person. You seem like a good person to trust. And I was like, okay, here we go, we're like, I'm doing this. And, and I think, I don't know, from the just your, I guess your energy just made me feel like, okay, you know what, she's like, I got this with, with Jessica Lawson Lawson, like I'm gonna learn something, uh, and let's do it.

Okay, cool. So you joined.

When did you first realize that things might be different? Or what were your initial thoughts actually at first?

When you told me that, which I even like, I got for like Hanukkah when you first sent out to me like, here's your blueprint and like, you know, this meal plan and everything. I was like, wow, this is like, okay, that felt like a kid on the first day of school, like with like all my materials ready to go. I'm like, Mom, Dad, or, you know, and my brother, like, guys, I started this new program. Can you print this and like bind it for me, and I'm gonna learn, you know, whatever. And so honestly, that was like the, you know, like, all right, this is cool, and I'm, I'm ready to give it my all here.

Yeah.

Okay, so cool.

So when you think back about the last 6 months, like, what do you feel like was different?

Different was Yes, I've had, you know, coaches you're checking in with them and you're doing, you know, constant work, you know, whether it's Zoom feedback or like in person, whatever, that whenever I checked in with you, that it was, it just always seemed so like authentic and intentional with like the questions that you asked and how to kind of, um, you know, if I ever— if it was like, oh, I'm feeling, you know, out of control today, or lost, or this just happened, like, you know, it just— it was like almost an ease of conversation from there. And never like— I think you always say it in like the group coaching calls too, it's like, okay, none of this— everything is data, right? And nothing was like a net— like, this is gonna be like you did something wrong or whatever. It's like, all right, this happened and let's like go forward with it. Uh, so I think that that was like, that set, you know, you apart from other, other coaching, uh, just because it all, it all felt like it was just teachable moments, as I, you know, say in my everyday life with, with students, you know. So it felt, uh, you know, it was just like a comfortable setting.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Data, not drama.

Data, not drama.

I like it.

Yep. Yeah. So your number one goal when we first started working together was to reduce food noise and decision fatigue.

Yes.

That's what you wrote at the intake form. I am so curious, why was that the goal that you led with?

Yeah, that's a great question. I, you know, I've all— I guess, um, it's always been hard for me. Like, we started off and I knew, or we, you know, okay, I knew what to— what was healthy and what wasn't. Like, that, okay, I've got that since I was, you know, a middle school age kid. But what was hard for me was knowing, like, All right, how do I navigate that? Yeah, there's like 10,000, you know, decisions or, uh, menu options or you name it. And like, I, I couldn't like categorize any of that or like help myself to narrow anything down to like just start some simple or, you know, go, go here because it was too much for me to like to, to take everything and, and, uh, narrow it down.

Okay.

If that makes sense.

Yeah. So we started working together. You got your blueprint. Walk me through the first few weeks. Like what were things that you were trying out? What was clicking? What was not clicking? Like what did that look like for you?

Yeah, I think, uh, you know, I really enjoyed like having an overview of what it is that we were, you know, working with, which was to, you know, identifying different patterns, see, you know, setting myself up in the morning and in the evening for like, you know, the following day or the day, uh, forward. Um, and just being intentional with everything was That really helps set things up well because it just made me realize, like, all right, if I plan or if I even think about something for like 5 minutes, not even 5 minutes, it really does help, you know, solidify everything and just put things into place. Yes, you get, you know, it's like, okay, we had the different, you know, you gave the meal ideas of that cookbook. Okay, that was super helpful. But I think more so the like idea of how to put together a day of food, like what do those times look like? Why is that important? You know, setting a time for like no more going in the kitchen minus water, like, all right, it all just made, made more sense as time went on.

Yeah.

So it sounds like you knew what was healthy, what wasn't, but you didn't really know how to actually fuel your body and also do it in a way that's easier, more efficient in helping reduce all the other things that you don't want. Does that feel right?

Totally.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

So by month 2, your toolkit started becoming yours and you know, things like STOP, the hunger scale, legs up on the wall, tea time. But— or do you want to talk about any of those?

Up to you.

Yeah, no, no, they all— it, uh, yes, all the— those things are, are valid and true. And I think I loved, um, you know, we had taught— or I was struggling with, yeah, that in-between work and, and dinner time. And I think it really was Uh, so grounding to have the, the tea time, which if, you know, for any of you listening, it's like, it's a good— that, uh, you're separate. I was separating my work day to my home day or to my home time, and so just kind of really changing like me, meaning my clothes, and then, you know, just getting myself into the, you know, the nighttime whatever, that, that was really, you know, it helped kind of just recalibrate myself, uh, and that was, that was very, um, you know, just fitting. And I, and I've, I've loved, you know, continuing that, uh, as, you know, as I move through. And the— what— oh, the legs up on the wall, I, you know, try, try to do that a few times, you know. It's just like, okay, that's definitely like in my weekly, you know, togetherness, uh, from, for myself. But just that, again, after a workout, or even not workout, it's just like, all right, you're just sitting there, you don't have any— like, I'm just staring at the wall, it's amazing. And you really do feel like a sense of, uh, you know, calm or peace. And, uh, that was, that was a nice thing to start to implement.

It works. Yeah.

And then, you know, week 8, week 9, we started to map out your triggers for really like the first time in your life you've ever done that. And what did you find?

Yeah, that was very eye-opening, uh, to, you know, to realize like, wow, so much of my food, uh, decision-making or like that feeling like I need to grab for something, uh, was so much deeper than, than a hunger, you know. It was like, okay, I needed— I was looking for, right, you know, looking for connection, or, uh, you know, less, less loneliness or boredom. That, like, there was so much more than, like, was I actually hungry? Um, and I don't think I ever uh, or not. I definitely never paused enough to think about that, um, beforehand. So that was totally, you know, like, uh, enlightening.

Awesome.

And then end of January, you went on retreat for 3 days. You had no control over what was being served. How did you go?

Or how did it go?

So, right, we had talked about, yeah, that before, you know, is okay, I'm going away with people I don't, you know, I don't really know, didn't know anybody, uh, and, and it was just like, okay, I trust this process. And knowing for myself that like, okay, I can survey things before I go to, you know, eat them, and that I really felt like, okay, food did not control me during that weekend. Like, I was able to have some, you know, I could Yes, I didn't have control over what was there, but at least I was able to, like, make sound decisions before every meal and also bringing, you know, my own snacks and things. But I just— leaving the weekend having felt like, okay, I didn't feel like, oh, I just, you know, stuffed my face or overate every day, that it was like, okay, I'm leaving feeling like pretty, you know, grounded. Spiritually and, you know, and, and like health-wise, uh, and that was, that was amazing because I do not think that I would have, you know, felt that way, um, before, you know, having done this work with you.

Amazing.

Now, and I love it when people go on a trip or something like that really early on Because it's the perfect time to practice everything you're learning. For sure.

Yeah.

And so before our last call, you stayed at your niece's place and you were making breakfast for them with bananas, sprinkles, chocolate chips.

Yeah.

How did that go?

Um, yeah, I was thinking, well, that, right, that was another time, like, oi, I'm about to be with kids that like they don't— I mean, they eat well, whatever, but like, okay, they're children, they're always, you know, it's like snack city and whatever.

Sugar, sugar foods galore.

Totally. So as I was making this, they call it, uh, banana banana chip is what it was like. That's what they wanted to have for breakfast. I'm like, all right, sure. So, you know, as I'm making this, I've you know, my head too. It's like, okay, all this stuff, it's so trigger. It's like, okay, this all looks amazing. Yeah, I just want to, you know, dive into this too. But then I thought, wait a second, I, I think, okay, yeah, I took one, you know, I took a bite of what it was that they had on their plate and then thought, you know what, wait a minute, this doesn't even— it's like nothing's fueling me. I don't even feel like full at all from this, or would it? Like, let me make something you know, decent here and, like, they have food other than what the kids are eating. So to be able to, again, take a moment, reflect on the fact that I wasn't— I didn't feel good after eating, you know, even just the bite of, like, banana sprinkled chocolate chip. Like, what the hell kind of nutritional value does that add to my, you know, morning? And to be able to then pivot It was, was like, I just couldn't believe that. Or I was so happy that I was able to do something like that because normally, you know, pre-surgery or pre-working with you, like, yeah, that would have— okay, I screwed up the morning and that also means everything else is screwed up. And I've been so been able to like, yeah, deviate from that all or nothing thinking, which is beyond amazing.

And that's hard.

Yes, that's hard to do for sure.

Super. And it takes practice, no doubt, uh, and it will continue to take practice, of course. But to know that I can is huge. And that, you know, it's like, all right, you said from the get-go, okay, we— you can change patterns and you can, you know, you can create new structured habits for yourself. I didn't know that, you know. I thought— it's like, I thought, all right, like, this is me, and all right, I'm just gonna struggle for— or like, this is gonna be hard for like all of my life. Um, but you know, it's, it's clearly, you know, helped pave a good path.

So yeah.

So let's, let's talk now about the mental shifts that you've made. So first off, you know, what does your relationship with food look like now compared to November?

Yeah, so I think, uh, that I, I just, I feel such a sense of, uh, like, uh, what's the word, ownership over my choices and over what's in front of me. So even in situations where, okay, I'm going out to eat at a restaurant maybe that I've never been to, or going to someone's house that I haven't been to before, that at least, okay, I have the wherewithal to like know how to look at a spread or a menu and be able to make the best choice, like, given what I'm given. As opposed to just thinking like, okay, it's out of my realm, and so I'm just going to do whatever I want, and then, and I'll, you know, make a new— tomorrow's a new day. But no, it's like, all right, every meal is a new thing, not, not just the next day or the Monday or whatever, which I, you know, had easily done, you know, for 30 years of my life, or what, however long, you know, long, long enough time to like create these thoughts in my mind.

Yeah. So it sounds like you feel like you have control.

Yes, tremendously. Uh, you know, way more of a, of a hold than I, than I used to.

Okay. When you walk into a kitchen now, what happens in your brain?

Going to a kitchen And I— if it's a kitchen that I know, okay, I'm going towards like the area I know where whatever my, my, you know, protein is or vegetable, whatever, that I'm getting like a balanced plate. If it's someplace that I'm not, you know, used to, it's like, hey, let me like have a conversation with someone first of like, hey, what do you have? Or what's available in this realm that I, again, I know how to navigate it as opposed to just like going in, you know, willy-nilly and having no idea. So I think it's the mindset shift of like, all right, I have to, even if I haven't planned before because I don't know what's there, at least when I'm there, I can ask before I make a decision. So that it's something, uh, sound and I feel good after it. Because a lot of it is also having realized how different foods make my body feel, uh, you know, before eating it and after. Like, that, that also was a big, um, thing that I, that I kind of learned working, working this time with you.

Let's play a game. I'm trying to put this on the spot.

All right, okay.

All right, I want you to— I'm gonna give you a scenario and you tell me one word of what Hannah, you know, 7, 8 months ago would have felt and what Hannah feels now.

Okay, got it.

All right.

Walking into a buffet?

Deer in headlights.

Before?

Yeah.

Okay. How about now?

Now? Okay. Take a breath and like, let's survey. Let's, you know, let's, let's go protein first. I don't, you know, just get— make a, make a quick, like, action plan for myself. So that I'm not, you know, just going like to the dessert bar right away.

Okay, cool. How about an ice cream store?

Okay. Before, like, balls to the wall or like, "Nutherry." It's like, "All right, I'm just going for whatever the hell I want." And now, so like, Again, I know I keep going back to this, like, taking a moment, but really, like, you, you solidified that for me, of like pausing first is okay. Like, that's good. It's good to pause for your think for a moment. Um, and, and really, so like, just see what are the options, you know? Okay, I can just— I can do a scoop of ice cream. Without a cone, and it's felt like I'm— I'm getting the taste of what I want, uh, again, trying to get, you know, maybe I, I like 3 different flavors, but okay, you know what, today I'm just gonna go with one, and I can just have one scoop, and it's like, that is, you know, plenty satisfying. Um, so kind of having like a little moment with myself of like All right, what do you, what do you want versus what are you gonna do?

Hmm, that's really interesting. So it sounds like, you know, if you think about the different sides of your brain, your rational decision-making side and then more of the emotional side, it sounds like in the past the emotional side's the one that took over, but now the rational decision-making part is taking over more. Does that feel right?

Totally does. And, and, uh, even if in a, you know, so, you know, in a perfect world, okay, every time the rational brain is gonna, you know, it's gonna win. But I— and what I think that I've loved most about, uh, working with you is realizing like, wait a sec, there are going to be days or moments when, you know, the emotional Toll is going to take over, the emotional brain is going to take over, but that doesn't mean the entire day or the entire 6 months is ruined. Uh, it's just like, all right, now, you know, you make the next best decision. Uh, and that, that, um, is also like comforting for myself.

Amazing.

Did you trust yourself around food before?

Definitely not.

Okay.

Why? I wasn't thinking before, or, you know, I think I was just— I was again going with that emotional side of the brain and like not caring. Also, you know, just like, okay, well, I had surgery, so like I'm definitely not going to be eating as much as I used to. So what does it matter? And, and, you know, really just having no, you know, like no rhyme or reason, but behind the decisions.

Okay. So what's—

well, do you trust yourself now?

Yes, way more. So, I mean, some— in some situations, like, you know, okay, donuts will still always be a trigger for me in the break room. I know we talked about that so much, but Oh yeah, like I can look at them and be able to walk away. And that is like, I really never thought I would ever be able to do that. Like, prime example, even today, my, one of my bosses had walked in because they were, their kids are celebrating. I'm a teacher. Kids are celebrating, you know, summer birthdays. And so they had brought in donuts and it was like, oh yeah, do you want, anyone want? And a couple of people, I thought, no, like, I don't need it. Yeah, it looks delicious, but like, I know I'm gonna feel terrible in 5 seconds, uh, if I eat this. And like, it's fine, I'll have a, you know. And so to be able to do that is like the most empowering feeling, I gotta say. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, F the donut, you know. It's like, I could never do that. Before. I really couldn't. So, or like, okay, in real— I could, but I never did because it was just my brain was like, no, no, you have to have it. And of course it's good and it's going to taste good. But, you know, not even dreaming of the fact that what is it going to make me feel like after I take this in, especially after surgery? You know, just it's like, all right, crazy amount of sugar in your body and you feel awful.

So yeah, yeah.

What surprised you most about this work? Like, what did you expect when you signed up versus what actually happened?

Uh, well, what did I— I, I, uh, I did not— what I expected was to learn something new, uh, because I thought, okay, I'm, I'm, you know, uh, investing in myself, uh, so I gotta— I— something gotta come out of it, uh, and but I just— I really didn't— I guess I didn't totally know what, you know, you were gonna teach me just because what I'd only seen you on the internet, you know, it's like, okay, what is— how am I supposed to know? But when you, you know, it's like you're the organization of it all, you're, you know, The fits like yours, you've been so, uh, yeah, just like warm and helpful and sincere and all that. And it was like, all right, I like feel like I gained a friend too, you know. I know, you know, and it's like, okay, this chick's legit. Gained a lot, you know, of, uh, yeah, it's like, all right, you're, you know, a good person beyond also knowing what the hell you're talking about in, in the, uh, you know health world.

So thanks, Anna, I appreciate that.

Okay, a pleasure.

Finish this sentence: 6 months ago, I never thought I'd be able to blank.

Walk away from a donut.

Mm-hmm.

Really and truly, it's like, I, I, yeah, yes, yes, that is something huge.

Yeah.

I want you to take me back to a moment. Are you ready?

Okay.

Take me back to June 27th, 2023. You're lying on the operating table. They're about to do the surgery. I want you to compare that Hannah to who you are right now sitting on Zoom in front of me. Like, who is Hannah now?

Oof. Uh, Like, I was terrified before this. Terrified in the sense of like, am I making the right decision for myself right now? Um, and am I gonna follow through here? Like, is this, is this really gonna be as life-changing as I keep saying it's going to be and that I keep reading about? Um, and Yeah, so just really feeling like, okay, now or never, because like my health is really in danger here. And like, I'm not— I haven't been serious about this, uh, and now, A, I was able to, to go— I don't know if I had ever shared this with you, but I, I blogged my journey for at least like for the first like year of pre-surgery to a year post-op. And now that I've done this work with you, I, like, want to re— or just kind of also vlog about, you know, the experience, this coaching experience. But it really just laid such a foundation of like, all right, I can be in control of a lot of aspects of the food that I put into my body and what I surround myself with. And it is so much, um, of a mind game, more, and, and a, like, conversation with yourself. Like, okay, I can, I can make a change, um, and, but I just have to, like, plan for that and have a, have a, uh, an intention, uh, before going into any scenario, whether it's something that, like, I know is happening or something that I had no clue and it just came out of the blue. Like, All right, you can be in control of so many parts of it, um, even if it feels out of control, uh, and so really taking kind of that, that mindset with me.

Yeah. If you had to go back to that version of yourself on the operating table and you could only say one thing, what would you say?

Oui. Uh, like, what I don't— what would I say to myself? Like, just keep your eye on, on the prize. Like, every— that this is— transformation is not going to happen in a second, or like right after the surgery, but like trust the process and just keep— every day, every day you got to show up. And I think that, okay, we're now almost 3 years later. It's like, all right, yeah, just keep showing up. And that's the most important thing, even when it's hard, because there were hard days and there will still be hard days. But like, all right, if you're there and you get up and you show up, like something's going to happen. Uh, so that's— I just keep telling myself that too.

Yeah.

Now take me back to November 2025. You're about to hop on Zoom with me. Maybe you were scared, maybe you were worried. Like, what would you tell that version of yourself?

What would I tell that per— uh, Well, like, I'm proud of you for like that, that you even had the foresight to like reach out to a new person to, to do something different because you felt like you needed to. And again, just like everybody's going to be able to teach you something in life. And I think that that was like just— I think I just innately knew like I was going to learn something from you. And so just, all right. You keep, keep trusting what you're— the decisions you're making, uh, because, you know, made a good one, but I didn't know it then.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So in one sentence, like, who were you before we started working together?

I was ambivalent and laxadaisical, you know, and just kind of just unsure of like where I wanted to go next, you know, just in my own health journey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, who are you now?

I feel like I am somebody who is way more in control and at least that I, I know how to navigate myself in, you know, in many situations, whereas before I did not feel confident at all to, to just to be able to like walk into a room and know how to, you know, stop myself from, from something or that now I feel like, okay, I've got a way more of a handle on like who I am as a, you know, as someone who has to navigate food every day of her life. I mean, everybody does, but that I just feel so much more at ease with it than I, than I ever thought I was going to be.

Hmm. Okay. Love that.

Now let's, let's assume there's someone watching this right now that maybe they were in your shoes. They had surgery a few years ago. Still fighting food in their head, worked with other people, did a bunch of things, nothing actually worked. Like, what would you tell them?

I would tell them every cent of your investment is, is worth it, uh, because you are really— not only are you getting nutrition advice, but you're really digging deep into who you are and why, you know, you've made the decisions that led you to getting surgery and also those, you know, those issues post too, that you're really just kind of unpacking so many layers. And that's you know, you can do that in therapy, yeah, but you're— but like, this is just way more, uh, structured and, and, and guided in a way that you're not going to be regretful of the, of the time or the, the, uh, dollar amount. Uh, so it just— it's like, if you're even thinking about it, like, just Yeah, do it and you will, you'll feel good.

Yeah.

So what would you say to someone who thinks the problem is willpower? They just need more willpower, need more self-control.

No. Negative thinking there. What did you tell us one time? You are born, or you can change your behaviors, you know, like that you can change up, uh, you know, you can have all the willpower in the world, but like, you know, but also like you, you have chemical differences pre and post-surgery too, that like you got to just understand it all to then know how to move forward after, after knowing like, okay, what actually happened in your body and what neuron connections were worked on during the surgery too to totally get it.

What would you say to someone who's about to have surgery and thinks that surgery is going to fix everything?

You are in for a ride. But it's gonna be worth it. And you're gonna, uh, but you, you have to know that like you're gonna have to put in work. Like it's not, and it's not just about getting rid of part of your stomach. Like yes, you're gonna lose weight. That is fail-proof or foolproof. How do you say? Yeah, foolproof.

That's losing weight's the easy part.

Exactly. And, and okay, you lose it drastically and in a fast fashion. But you have to be willing to like to dig deep, to really to keep it off and to, and to like want to make lasting changes. And it's not going to just happen from— that part is not going to happen from the surgery. And it is life-changing and it is, you know, you shouldn't regret your decision, but you're going to have to put in work. Uh, and, and that's just the bottom line.

Okay. What are your—

I'm almost done with my questions, by the way. I know this has been a long time, but no, it's okay. Um, what are your top, I don't know, 1, 2, or 3, however many you wanna share, wins from the last few months that you're most proud of?

I'm most proud of knowing how to set myself up for success. Um, I'm happy that I know like the whys behind, um, like what, where my decision-making comes from, like why, you know, I, I, that I understand my triggers. Okay, that, that really more basic, yes, understanding like the, you know, what is, what's something that's going to like, that could throw me off the rails. I'm happy to know that I know how to, you know, in a moment of food crisis that like I can walk away and that I'll be okay and I won't end up like totally spiraling and I— and to advocate for myself, I think, is also huge of just knowing what does helping myself even look like and making that happen. Because it's also hard to know when to say, like, no thank you, or that food pusher idea. And, you know, that it's, it's, it's for your own benefit, not anything on them, uh, who's ever offering. And so yeah, I think that the biggest, the, the biggest takeaway is, you know, knowing that like, that I'm, I'm in control and that it's like, that I am, and that it's, that I can make decisions that are good, good for me, uh, and feeling, feeling happy about that.

Awesome. Anything else you want anyone to know?

Uh, that, yeah, I was so apprehensive in the beginning, or not knowing, uh, whether or not this was a good, you know, financial decision for me to make, you know, going, going to work with you. But I think also having sent along like, uh, little blurbs from you to like my family when I wanted to get the thing bound and everything. It was like, oh, this lady seems awesome, Hannah, like good for you, you know. And it's like, okay, to have gone through the program, uh, anyhow, no regrets. If you're, you know, if you go to work with Jessica Lawson Lawson, you're gonna, you're, you know, it's a journey and it's a, it's a great journey. And, uh, She's, she's, she's super legit and the real deal. So have fun along the ride.

Awesome. Thanks, Hannah. Um, and you came to me already having surgery. You had already done what your doctor told you to do and you still didn't feel free from food, but now you are. You have control. And that's not because anyone handed it to you. I can tell you what to do, but you have to actually do it. Right. So you did the work, the work that nobody ever sat you down and told you you needed to do. And that's the work that actually lasts. And I just want you to know too, like, I'm very proud. I mean, on our last call, I think I was crying. Like, I am so proud of you.

I know. No, I know you are. Like, I feel it. And I'm so proud of me too. Like, I really, you know, just this was so, uh, this was so life-changing. Like, as you know, parallel to, to the surgery, I think anybody, it's like, all right, you got to start this from the get-go, or even before having surgery. Just really knowing yourself, um, is so important.

So thanks so much for sharing, Hannah.