Are You Humble To A Fault?

Foreign.

Welcome to our Brothers in Conversation podcast, powered by Jesse and Shondell. Shondell, you are from Bed Stuy do or Die Brooklyn.

That little town.

That's a little town that's nothing like Hawthorne, Nevada. Population 5,000 cats and dogs. This is podcast number 12, and today is September 19, 2019. And we're going to be talking about being humble to a fault.

Yeah.

And then we're going to get into some of these other areas about the books and so forth. Yeah, let's, let's just, let's just explore that. Humble to a fault. When you hear that, what does that mean to you? What is that? What is that expressing to you? Are you humble to a fault?

Yes. You know, I think when you say humble to a fault, are you not sharing information or giving the attitude because you're trying to not offend people? I think that's humble to a fault. And I'll give you an example. Like Tiara, my daughter, she said that you can't go around and act like you have done nothing. You know, you can't do that. You can't, because other people need to know, even if it helps them out, even if it helps them to understand that this is the journey that I've taken, and you can take that journey. You might be helping somebody, is what she said. You may be inspiring somebody because. But your humbleness is depriving someone out there that at a chance at life. Maybe somebody's about to give up on life. Maybe somebody's about to quit. Yeah. But you're, you're humble to a fault.

Yeah. That's good.

You're trying so hard not to look egotistical.

It's a good point. She, she's absolutely spot on with what she said. I, I, I'm glad that she shared that with you. And then I want to talk to you about how you've made an adjustment or not with that. But first, let's, let's stay with that for a second. You and I only speak for myself, and then you speak for yourself, because I likely can't speak for you, but I don't need you because you're right here. Yeah. But to that point that she says, the one thing that I refuse to be is egotistical, like you said.

Right.

And braggadocious, because I live from a concept and a theory that says that those that do don't talk, and those that talk don't do.

Right.

Those that have, don't talk.

Right.

Those that talk don't have.

Right.

A lot of people talk a Big game and talk about this, that and the other. I'd rather show it in my evidence of what I've done or what I'm doing.

Right.

Rather than just merely my words. So I tend to pull back and be. And I find myself being more humble, not because I don't want you to know that I've done this, that, and the other, because I'd rather show it.

Right.

And let it be relevant to that conversation, that situation than go around, talk about I've done this, I've done that, I've done that. That's. I never wanted to be that person. And so, I mean, I believe what the problem with that is. If we're humble to a fault, not only to Tiara's point, that we may be hurting someone that could use that story or that incentive or that motivation or being inspired by something you've done.

Right.

We are also likely hurting potential opportunities for us to do it and serve our livelihood. Let me just say this to you. Do you know the. Let me ask you, do you. Are you familiar with the name Tony Robbins?

Yes, yes.

Who is Tony Robbins?

So Tony Robbins, I mean, for, from my perspective, is a motivational speaker, very confident person, just based on what I've heard. I haven't really listened to him that much. Right, right.

But, but you. So Tony Robbins is the James Brown and the Michael Jackson of the self help world?

Sure, sure.

Yeah. He, he, he is that person he.

Elevated to that space.

His net worth is over $400 million.

Right, right.

You know, we do a lot of the exact same stuff that Tony Robbins does.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

And Tony Robbins will tell you how great he is and how great his programs are.

Well, I'll tell you the other thing that, that slows me down with that is Christianity. Right.

Okay.

I'm a devoted Christian. Obviously I'm not perfect. So.

No, no, don't get it twisted. Work under construction.

That's right. All the time.

Yeah.

Especially this dude.

Hard work.

But, you know, and we're humble. And this is what I told Tiara many times, is that I didn't know any different. But to be a great dad, I wasn't, I wasn't looking at it as.

You made that choice.

I made that choice.

And you lived into that choice.

Yes, yes.

It wasn't an option for you.

Right, Exactly.

Many, many people, they choose it as an option. Yeah.

They say, hey, you know what? And I remember even being criticized. Right.

Oh, for sure.

And I think one of the things that I've been, I've been more Comfortable of it is being criticized for decisions that are made because of the information that I have. So my father, you know, when I was a teenage father and my ex wife back then, my girlfriend in high school was pregnant, my father said this, hey, you know, it's not the end of the world. You just have to be a great dad. Right? So let's. We walked around the block a few times. He's like, look, you're gonna be scared. You're gonna be nervous, but guess what? We're here for you. That changes everything. Right? Because like I said, if 80% of the black households are without fathers, I can imagine how that goes the other way.

Oh, yeah, for sure. And I heard it for sure.

That girl trapped my baby.

Right?

Right. What's she doing? Trying. What's she doing? Getting you prep. Getting pregnant.

Right.

What's she doing but trap you in what? You're a teenager. What can you offer?

Right?

Right.

It's just very little. You're still learning. You're still learning. You got your whole life.

But I never thought it was a big deal that I took care of my children in high school. I never thought it was a big deal. I took care of them when their mom left when I was 22 years old.

Because you knew that was your role. You accepted that as your role. You accepted responsibility.

So no sex. Yeah. So why brag, right? Yeah. And then. But she's saying, you're not bragging, dad. You might be helping another in the.

Same situation that doesn't know how to do that. That doesn't know how to make that choice.

Right.

So I like that. That's really good. We're gonna go tag team back and forth with this. So going back to the Tony Robbins thing. So Tony Robbins, he takes the stage. He speaks from the stage. Right? We take the stage. We speak from the stage. He speaks for his own organization, and all people come to him. We typically speak for other organizations. We're doing some organization on our own now too, but we speak for another organization. He coaches executives and entrepreneurs and celebrities and so forth and so on. We have coached celebrities.

Right.

We coach entrepreneurs. We coach leaders.

Right?

Okay.

Right.

He reads a lot of books and he writes books. He reads a lot of books and we write books. What is the difference, do you think, between and his style? I'll tell you, Tony Robbins has a unique style. He's verbose. He's big, big, big boy. His voice is almost hoarse all the time because he screams all the time.

Right, right, right.

He doesn't realize, but at some point his voice is going to say, sure, I'm out.

Right.

Because he thrashes his voice.

Yeah.

I take care of my voice because I had a situation half where I lost my voice.

Yeah.

I booked three speaking engagements too close to one another. They were all day engagements. After the third day, my voice says.

We'Re out, we're done.

Right. And I lost it for 18 weeks. Yeah.

It's like any other monster.

It was, it was scary. I didn't. Anyway, with all that being said, Tony's a more verbose in your face kind of guy. Even in his style.

That's his style. Yeah.

I prefer a style of finesse.

Sure.

That's just my preference. I mean, it fits me better to finesse it on you. But other than our actual character differences in style, we're doing exactly the same, exact same thing. What do you think the biggest difference between Tony Robin and Jesse Farrell or just off?

You know, honestly, I don't see much difference. And I'm going to tell you why I don't see much difference. I think that your, your substance and style is one of the reasons why we became friends.

If I was Tony Robbins, if I was Tony Robbins style, we wouldn't be friends, right? No, no, exactly. Because I would be all up in your face all the time. You'd be like, who's this guy? I don't know you. Right. Yeah.

And even before I got to really know you. Right. And many people don't know this, but I'll give this audience in podcast world and everything, this is that. I read your book. I watched you speak. I saw it was coming from a place of being genuine. It was all integrity.

Yeah.

It's all integrity with me.

Yeah.

I'm a people watcher.

I was that kid that was attractive. Yeah. You were attracted. Wait a minute.

Yeah.

He didn't just write that book. He lives that. Yeah, yeah.

And I'll tell you, it's interesting. As a kid, you know, we, we as kids in New York, we ride the subway, right. And we have nothing to do but either read a book or, or watch.

People or shenanigans, right?

Well, yeah, I wasn't much in the shenanigans. I was that person that watch people. Right. I watched people. I watched a guy who came on begging for change.

Guess what? That's what I have always done as well.

Yeah.

I've always watched people. But can you imagine as a little.

Person, but can you imagine being on a one hour train ride and people are coming and people are going and you're seeing all different type of cultures. You're seeing white, you're seeing Italian.

Oh, you're seeing. It's the rainbow coalition.

So what I did is. But what I noticed is. And this is why. This is why I have a hard time with most people. What I noticed is a family comes onto the subway. There's a mom, a dad, kids. Another family comes on, mom and dad, kids. Aside from their color and their culture, they are typically the same.

I agree.

You know what I mean?

I 100% agree. Let me tag on to what you're saying. I've said this before, and I get some objection when I say this. At the end of the day, we're all one people and we're all actually living the same lives.

Right.

Right to the point you just said. And here's what I say to that. Chandel. And it's on a pendulum. Yeah. And we're all at different places on that pendulum. And by the way. And I call it the pendulum, life is not all forward, forward, forward, right? Backwards, backwards, backwards. For everybody, life is typically a roller coaster ride. And forwards and backwards. So that's why I call it a pendulum.

Right.

So at the end of the day, we're all on that pendulum, living the same color. So at the end of the day, we're all one people. And we're all seeking to do the same thing. You know why? Because it's in the hardware, it's in the biology. We're all seeking to, at the base level, survive. And what does that take? That takes food to survive. Everyone that takes domicile that you can call your safe place, your sanctuary, your home, your apartment, your space. You need that to feel protected from the predators because they're out there. And sex, procreation, that's hardwired into all of us. The only people that. That's not healthy. And are the people that are mentally unhealthy in some way. Some. Some of that may be disturbed, but. So that's the only exception. Other than that we're all living the same lives, which is at different points on the pendulum. Yeah. Yes or no? Yeah. Yeah.

And based on your experience and based on your limitations. Right. And that's.

Well, they affect. You say based on. I say that affects what that pendulum swing looks like. But at the end of the day, we're all seeking to do the same. Same things.

Yeah, we're all seeking. But the. The thing that limits us is our perspective.

100. Our perspectives, our thoughts.

Right.

Which is connected to perspective, our actions. Yeah. So.

So when You. And when you talk about, like what I was talking about before we came on air was like, okay, first of all, being. Your humility to me is impacted by what your attitude is. Right.

100%.

So me going and working in gaming, you're not going in the military. The military. To me, the things we were doing was not a big deal because I was doing my job.

Because you were following orders.

I was following orders.

It was bigger than doing your job.

And here's the crazy thing when I shared this with you before, is that we were playing war games with video games. That was the new technology. Whether it was drone or stealth or whatever, we were playing games.

We were.

We couldn't talk about what we were doing anyway because it was all top secret stuff. Right. So it was, it was no big deal. But even when I went to stations because we were working on new technology with the boarding pass program, ticket in, ticket out, penny games, whatever, it wasn't. It was one of those things where we were just doing something. But it wasn't as big a deal to wait till you reflect. Right. So my humility was not necessarily intentional. Sometimes it was just that until I reflected, I didn't know the impact. I didn't know the impact of the boarding pass program until one day I walked into Green Valley Ranch with my wife and said, oh, shoot, she was asking some questions of a tech, a slot tech. Sure. And I said, dang, I could answer those questions. Right. Because I was part of the team that created the tech.

So you said your humility was not intentional. What I believe you're saying, Let me just check my understanding that you're saying that as a natural or native, early in the game, native sense, humility was inside of you. Right. And so at this advanced level.

Yeah.

You didn't purposefully say, I'm going to move with humility. It was already part of the character who you are.

Yeah. It was part of the upbringing in the Christian world and saying, hey, be humble, but do good God's work, work hard. It was just part of what we. Part of what I did.

Okay. And part of who you were becoming as well. So I like that. So that's a good point. So as I flip back, I'm going to close on the Tony Robbins, and the question was, what is the difference between Jesse Farrell and Jess Talk, Lisa Farrell, what they do? What's the difference between what we do, what Tony does? If you look at, if you look at his materials, if you look at our materials, there's a lot of crossover there's a lot of stuff. Same language, same motivation and inspiration. There's a lot of that, but there's one single difference.

What's that?

400 million net worth.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, 400 million net worth. That's the difference between Tony Robbins and Jesse Farrow. He's got it. We don't. You know why? Because he's blown through this thing called humility. He doesn't. He's brash, over the top, speaks what he thinks in his face, tells you how great he is on and on and on. He's built systems and processing tools. We must. I must learn to realize that my humility, being humble to a fault is costing not just us.

Right.

You know why? You know what? You know what the biggest cost is? You have faith and I have faith. I believe that in my faith that I, as part of my expression of who I am becoming, is a custodian of wealth.

Okay.

I can't get what I don't have.

Right. Right.

Well. And. Right. Yeah. No. If I'm a custodian of wealth, I need to figure out how to switch up my game and add fastest to my game and step above that humility. Because the fault is. I will give it away. When we earn it, we will find the right places of people that don't have the avenues or don't have the mindset and doesn't have the structure or don't have the tools. And we're going to find a way to fund those circumstances. Not putting my name on it. That's not what it's about. It's about being a custodian of wealth.

Right.

I'm not saying Tony Robbins is. Or is it. But I'm saying the difference between Tony Robbins, other than personality. Yes. $400 million. Yeah.

So.

So.

And I'll say for. So from my perspective is you can get there. You can be there.

Right.

But I don't think you have to necessarily alter or change who you are. Are. I just think that you have to get more people out there to attach to that same spirit the same way I did.

I agree. I agree.

Right.

So.

So I learned from one of my mentors. Let's say you get a million people.

Okay.

Who are Jesse Farrell's fans.

Sure.

Right. And they get. Once they get to know Jesse Farrell.

Sure.

And they each give you a dollar.

Sure.

And then you get. You get 400 of those people, you're there. Right. I think, I think with people, sometimes even Tony Robbins, he's brash, he's doing. But. But he's He's. He's. He's having those people who are looking for some sort of a savior. They're looking somebody to. They're looking for somebody to inspire them. I think we inspire organically in a different fashion. Right?

Yeah.

So here's where. Here's where our mistake is. It's not necessarily changing who we are. It's what Lisa's been telling us a long time. Right. We.

We don't.

We don't share, you and I. We go on about our business. We're coaching, we're mentoring, we're doing that, but we're not sharing. And up until this point, with brothers in conversation, we weren't sharing it.

None of that.

Right? None of that. The difference is, I think he has shared that. He has really, really shared that to multitudes of people. Where you and I had to be forced.

Yes. Still not. Not still.

My tiara.

No, no, no.

Not Lisa.

Stop it. Oh, yeah. Still. It ain't had to be. Is have to be had and have. And I want to bring Lisa in. Two things. Lisa's giving me something to share. But also before I share that, we. We just had an incredible event at Southern Sierra Nevada Corporation, and there were 18 of their top. Their executive admins, and we did a. We call it reach leadership program reaches macroname standing for responsibility, engagement, accountability, connection, and our how you leave them feeling concept.

Gotcha.

We tie that together, and then we bring in color code, which is a personality science, and we color code that crew, and we bring those two together.

Right?

Incredible program. And on the first break, one of the executive admins comes up, and she is so exuberant. She's so excited. I want Lisa to step in. Lisa, step in. Tell us what that lady said. This is so cool about. About what she was receiving and how she felt before she got there. Okay.

She said, why doesn't the world know about Jesse? Why isn't he Tony Robbins? The world needs more of Jesse.

And say what? She said about how she felt before she came to that event, she did.

Not want to come to the event. She goes, oh, it's another training. It's another day that I could be doing, getting so much more accomplished. She said at the end of the event, she said it was a wow. And it went like. She said, I could do another two or three days with this man like that.

A person that did not want to come to the event. Right. So thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for this.

But see, that's what I'm saying. I think.

But that's See, that stuff is, that's what you and I strive for, that we're focused on affecting people. We're focused on being a difference maker. We're focused on having an impact and inspiring and that sort of stuff. We're not focused on, look how great I am.

Right. No, no, it's that. And the thing is though, is we're so focused on that. And I would say this, we are so focused on that that we're not sharing. That we're not sharing with what Lisa just shared. Right. That's what Tiara was saying. Tiara saying, dad, I got people who are sending emails calling you, begging to meet. Listen, the issue is, is that we're thinking. I, we're happy with that response.

Right, Right off. Gratify.

We're, we're not looking to capitalize monetarily on this person's pain and suffering.

If it wasn't for this program, I would have never even mentioned it.

That's my point. That's my point.

We have countless, we have countless case studies like that. Sure. You know, Lisa says she's got a comment on humility and I want to hear what that is. What's that comment? Someone on Facebook is commenting on humility.

So, Lisa, Dillard Allen Scott.

Oh, yeah, I know Dillard.

Humility often can keep us in a neutral state of mind, leaving us unable to shift to where we need to be. We can't become complacent with progressing without exposing ourselves to the elements of life.

Can I hear you, Lisa?

Do bring that over and take my space and say it into the mic because that's big. We're going to spin off that. This is Dylan Allen Scott, somebody you know.

Yeah, I know Dylan.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, he actually said, hi, Jesse.

Oh, hey there, Dylan.

Okay, so humility often. Okay, hang on. Humility often can keep us in a neutral state of mind, leaving us unable to shift to where we need to be. We can't become complacent with progressing without exposing ourselves to the, the elements of life.

Yeah. Would you, would you join me in a standing round of applause for Great job Dillard? Yeah.

Yeah.

And he's spot on with that. Cuz he's saying if you and I don't shift, we're hurting ourselves.

Yeah.

We're hurting our progress and we're hurting others.

Jesse, listen, again, that is not uncommon, though. I want, I want, I want everybody.

Say I'm coming with us or Common is aware.

Oprah, from what I understood when we were at this conference or whatever, somebody, one of Oprah's I guess, manager or something, said that she was happy with having a show.

Of course.

Right. I came from here in Chicago to having a talk show that rivaled with Johnny Carson, with Dave, you know, with Donahue, all those. Yeah, she was on the big stage.

Yeah. Big time.

For all intents purposes. She made it.

And she was actually told before she was on that big stage that she didn't have the right look.

Right.

And that she. She didn't. She. She wasn't never gonna be worthy to be on the screen.

She was.

She was told you were not worthy of it.

Exactly. So we have that natural ability to converse and talk to. But we don't think it's a big deal.

We. No, because we're focused on the practice and the continued elevation.

So we need other people, like always. And it's funny because, like Dillard. Like Dillard. Right, right.

Or.

Or like Alexis, like until Alexis came to some new marketing, I was sitting back, no, Tiara was like, dad, we gotta get you this.

Okay.

But Alexis, Alexis, an intern from UNLV came in.

I just met her. And I dig that little woman too.

She came in and she said, oh, my God. She read through all of this material for forever. She said, oh, my God, do you.

Know what you have here?

Right? And guess what happened, Jesse? Same thing she said that day when I went to speak at unlv. She was like, ah, hold home another day. And then I spoke and then she immediately emailed me and said, could she come Intern? Can I be it? Didn't ask for a paycheck. Didn't ask for a paycheck.

Yeah, we.

Even when we offer her, hey, you know, we got a program that can. No worries. I just want to be here.

Wow.

I just want to soak this up.

Lisa's right. We need that.

And then when she read it, you tell. Oh, yeah. She was just like, oh, my God.

Yeah.

And so I'm. I'm saying, oh, my God.

What? So. So. So to your point, we need others.

Yeah.

So let's. Let's go backwards a little bit. I'm going to take you a Canadian. Okay. Anthony Ciccone. When I was in corporate America and I was struggling, I never told him I was struggling, but he could see it. Very intuitive guy, highly intelligent, great family by way of Rome. They live. They've lived in Canada all their lives. The kids, second generation, you know, in Canada.

I just talked to a guy from Toronto and Canada is probably one of the most diverse places. Oh, I have no idea.

Let me just Tell you, let me just say this to you. If it wasn't for the Ceccone family first, Vittorio Ciccone was the father, was my casino marketing client.

Okay.

He introduced me to his sons, which were Sal, Rob and Anthony.

Okay.

Okay. And then Anthony and Rob and Sal introduced me to their son. I'm third generation of the Ciccone, serving the Ciccones now. Wow. And. But let's go back to Anthony. So Anthony's.

Are you Jesse Jacone?

Yeah, Jesse Jacone. I'm speaking with my hands, aren't I?

Gotcha.

So check it out really, really fast story short. Anthony comes to the Rio and he sees me in a lot of trouble. And he says, jess, I've been watching you. He says, you're better with people than you think you are. Okay? He said, I watch you handle my father. Nobody handles my father like you.

Okay.

I watch you handle other people. He says, nobody handles people like you. He says, I know. I can see something's going on with you, and if you're. And I believe you're struggling. He says, you need to consider shifting your field of reference in terms of what you do, where you're closer, connected with being a difference maker in people's lives, because you made a difference in my life and in my family's life. I thought he was full of it. I didn't believe it because no one had ever told me that. To your point, we need other people. Then I pick up another Canadian, Ryan Tracy. His book, Action Strategies for Personal Achievement.

Right.

And Brian says, if you do not know your best gifts and talents, ask 15 people that know you well because they know them even if you don't.

Right.

So I took Anthony's one and I added 14 more. And they all said the same thing that Anthony was saying. I never knew that.

Right.

So sometimes we do need other people to help. To your point, this happens all the time, Right. John Bradley. John Bradley out of Oregon, amazing guy, Just a great businessman, entrepreneur, super family man, great father, dedicated, a wonderful friend. This guy, he's the full package, Right. When I was writing the book, John Bradley says he knew I was writing. He says, yes. So he said, how are you going to get that published? I go, you know, I'm really not sure. And he asked me three times. On the fourth time, he suggests, do me a favor on Wednesday, clear your calendar. He said, I'm going to fly the Learjet down and I'm taking you to dinner.

Okay.

And we're going to have a conversation about how you're Going to publish. So I go, okay. So he flies down. I meet him at mgm, and before we sit down, he gives me a check. He hands a check to me for $10,000. He said, I'm giving you this check to help you publish the book. How you leave them feeling, because the world needs that message and you're the best person to give it. He says, and here's why I'm doing it.

Sure.

I'm giving this to you. He says, it'd be great if the book. If the book makes millions, that's great. But if it only makes a dollar, I don't really care.

Right.

I'm giving this to you because of what you've done, helped me and my family over the years. Yeah. Four people did the same thing that I never asked.

Yeah.

I never asked them. They came to me and said, so how do you Leave the Feeling got published. I use the $40,000. Actually, 44,000, because one gave me 14 to publish it. And I paid all of them back within that first year from the book sales. Yeah. Tell me your thoughts. Tell me your thoughts about that. When you're talking about humility.

Well, you know, again, it goes back to the fact that we are horrible at promoting ourselves. Right. Because we don't.

That's gotta change.

Well, yeah, that's the.

But.

But see, the issue is more than that's gotta change. We gotta have other people promote us, just like you just said.

Absolutely.

Unfortunately for us, you know, we are ingrained in that humility. Funny, we don't see it as a big deal.

Funny, you're spot on. At least I had a conversation. We got a brilliant client out of San Jose, California, that he so believes in the power of what we can do, that we're serving his account. He has accounting from his partner. It's Scott and Bob. They're the partners. They have clients that. That they want to feel the power of what we do because we're doing it for them.

Yeah.

Yesterday we had a phone call and he was saying, jess, let me champion this cause. Let me cut this deal. Let me work this out. He's asking me, can I do what you're telling me we need to let people do.

This is why. This is why what Alexis was telling you guys yesterday is that's why Tiara created the sum of the solutions.

Okay.

Because she wants to galvanize all of these people. Right.

So.

So because we have these one offs.

Tell us about that.

You have these. We have these one off conversations. Like you just said, you're talking to this person, that person. What if. What if in a LinkedIn or Facebook scenario, you have all of these people experiencing the same thing at the same time.

Right.

Imagine if a million people are experiencing that same thing at the same time. Imagine if 10 million people are experiencing that same thing at the same time. So what Tiara created was the. Some new solution zone. So this way everybody can experience the same thing. Because what used to happen for me is I have a classroom that can only hold 28 people. Right, Jess? We always sell out. You saw it. Next level, right? Full boots to business. Full whatever. These classes, they're full, but that's only 30 people. Right. So imagine if a million people are tuning in at the same time, getting the same message, and then they have a dialogue back and forth saying exactly what you just said. The problem is, the difference is the Tony Robbins and those guys may have more people. Sure. Engage in talking about them.

Yeah.

Oprah had a television show, Right. Where it blossomed in a network, Right. And now Weight Watchers and now blah, blah, blah. Right. But they have a platform, Right. Jay Z has his record label or. And he has his. His own streaming service, whatever. So he has all of these ways to show people, connect with people. Be not saying release. You know, people have those. With Jess and Shondell, the humility piece. And probably, you know, what Dillard is talking about is we have not tapped into those resources.

Not at all. Yeah. We're literally on the outside looking through the window.

So that's something Lisa Farrell's been asking me to start.

I came up in this since I've known her. Yeah. She told us.

Everybody has to hear us, right?

That's right. She's the one that. She's the. She's the godmother of all of us.

Yeah. Yeah. And so what in Tiara has been telling me for years. So she said, hey, Dad, I want to create an online portal where people can come in and experience you on a regular basis. Because you can't meet with all those people. Right. You can't do the old school. Call Frankie.

That's right.

Call Frankie, meet with him. Because then everybody sits in there for 30 minutes.

But you can't touch him in volume. Yes. You can't touch him in that.

What she's talking about.

Yeah. And she's spot on, Sierra. Spot on. And Lisa again. Okay. I'm gonna talk about Lisa in a second. And Tiara hold me to bring me back to the stock. So. No. But someone depart. All right. Luther Bandro said it best. Everyone needs Someone else to help champion there, man.

I did. I did. Teddy. Fun.

Come on, do me some.

That was good.

That was good. That was good. That was a lighter moment in the program. Oh, yeah, yeah. We. We. We like temperature gauges. We have some fun with it. But Luther said it. Yeah. Luther said, everybody needs someone else to help champion their cause. When he said that, I rewound it.

That's true.

And he was on the. He was on the BET program, and they were interviewing and. And super short. But this is so important where that came from. That was good. The interviewer was going to tell Luke Luther about the times he'd been booed off the stage at the Apollo. And Luther says, before you get into that, let's get this straight. I was not booed off the Apollo stage four times, right? He says, four times I competed and four times I did not win.

Right?

Because there was a. There was a group before me that performed, and they were imitating the temptation. And every time, that one singer with that little note, like Melvin.

Yeah.

Do you know the Melvin? Oh, yeah.

When Melvin.

When Melvin does. Yeah, yeah. Every time you hit that, there he goes. Right? Yeah, right. Right on the Shondel. Doing what Luther had to face.

But, you know, the part was this. And mama, some folks going around town.

Talking.

Why, that ain't right. That's it.

And the beat goes, right.

That's it.

So losing that guy would hit that note, and then he said the crowd would go nuts. Yeah, see, you couldn't beat it.

No.

And he said, but what that taught him was careers like this was nothing more than a series of rejections. And this was a test to his conviction. Am I going to keep practicing my gift even amongst all this rejection?

Rejection, right.

He says, no matter who you are.

Yeah.

Everybody needs someone else to help champion their cause.

And who was his champion?

Luther. Luther's champion was Dion Warwick. Roberta Flack.

Yeah.

And David Bowie. Those are the people that champion him. Roberta Black, they were on. They were on tour. Roberta, Flex and Luther, because she. He was doing backups in it.

Right, right.

Said luca, luther, I want you to warm up the mic. Get everything else set. I got to go do interviews.

Yeah.

She. So when she left, the room was dark. Luther said he started crooning every one of Roberta Flack's top hits. And he said he was just doing it, and there was nobody. It was a dark room. He said the lights came on, and she was sitting in the front row, right? And she said, luther, I am lovingly firing you. You were getting way Too good to be behind me singing oohs and odds.

Exactly.

That's what happened. Oh, yeah, yeah. So she took him to get his first record deal. When he got there, the guy said, what? Where'd you find him? Yeah. And. And Luther had mentioned that he had been there before. Well, who'd you speak to that didn't sign? He said, no, I'm not getting anybody in any trouble. And David Boy, he was. He was at his friend's. Was at the studio, and his friend was a guitarist for David Boyd, and he was playing and. And Luther said that that's good, but it's missing a hook. He says, what do you mean? And Luther did what? What? Give me another Luther. Do a Luther.

Let's see. A chair is still a chair.

There we go. Even when there's no wall sitting there. Luther did his thing. Luther did his thing. And David boy was three flights up, dropped down and said, you have got an angelic voice. Yeah, do that again. Luther did it again. He says, how would you like to sing background on my. On the snoo on this track? He says, if you put my name on the album, I'll do it.

Right.

See, back then, the background singers didn't get credit.

Exactly.

So they. That's who championed his comedy.

I'll tell you a funny, even similar story if you ever listen to Bubba Knight. And I told Craig that he has to do Bubba's interviews on KCP again. Bubba Knight, the pit from Gladys Knight. Right. So he's Gladys older brother and Craig's dad. And I listened to his interview, and he said it was them that first heard the Jacksons sing. They heard Michael sing, and they were like, whoa.

Right.

But because Gladys was new to the label, they didn't feel like they had the clout to say, hey, y' all ought to sign this boy right here.

Right.

They did, you know, eventually say, you know, wow, this kid is good.

Right?

The family is good. They're great. But to imagine that people had to champion the Jackson.

Absolutely. Everybody needs to know to champion. So Tiara is champion your cause. What's this call again? Some new solutions, some new solution zone. Tiara is championing your cause. Yeah. Lisa is. Championed our cause in the breakthrough success plan. Yeah. Lisa says, you've got all this knowledge. What do we. How do we get this out to the world? So Lisa Farrell connected with Lisa Al Shafer, who is another master coach, speaker and author.

Right.

And who was just at the. Just at a pivotal point in her space, in her life and her professionalism.

Yeah.

Lisa Farrell was aware. That brought us to lunch. We now have a first class breakthrough success plan, which is like, it's an online course that offers people the intelligence that we've gained all over. And we lock this into three distinct pillars. Signature branding, leadership development and opportunity creation. And this is designed to help people break through to success. And I'm telling you, this program is on hit sheet. This is our one to many program because now we get to serve more people. Now here's the thing. There's a monthly. Sorry, a weekly strategy call. Like your Solution zone stuff.

Yeah.

And so that's where I learned from a guy by the name of Mark this term. I shared with you yesterday through that solution zone, the breakthrough success plan strategy sessions. People are going to gain community iq. Yeah. Well.

And you know why it's great?

Because it's beyond you.

Yes. And the community IQ also is, is. Is enhanced by our intervention. Right. So. So when you think about this is like what Tiara built the basis on everything that I've written, every, every blog that I've done, every time that I'm challenging the. The world of marketing because, because marketing has become so watered down, it's not what it's supposed to be. And when I was teaching a workshop yesterday, that was what Alexis captured. She said, you talk about Internet marketing in its totality, where people go to where they are comfortable. They'll talk about building a website because they're comfortable in that space. They'll talk about SEO because they're comfortable in that space. They'll talk about email marketing. But they, but they will never talk about how all of that works together. Because shrimp over here is shrimp. Okra over here is okra. Rice over here is rice. Crab over here is crab. But when you put it all together, it's gumbo and it tastes different. That's what people don't understand about marketing. My brain works where it's like, I always say, it's like baking a perfect marketing cake.

Sure.

My grandmother used to say. I said, grandma, how did you make that cake that tastes so good?

Right.

Everybody else's is crunchy or it's flat or has no flavor. How did you make it? Well, baby, I took a cup of this, a pinch of this, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that.

Right, right, right.

And when she put it together, just. You would be like, omg, no frosting, no icing, no sprinkles.

Just the cake.

It was the most delicious cake you ever tasted. See, what people don't realize is that. That's how I view marketing. Right. If your marketing is flat, it doesn't taste the same. Right.

You're not going to another level. Right. You're stuck.

Right. But you're satisfied because that's your limitation.

And that's what you know.

And that's what you know. So you're satisfied. You're like, oh, this is cool.

Which is why you're not satisfied, because you're always seeking for other natural ingredients to keep. Keep spicing up your marketing cake. Yeah.

Your marketing cake has to be. It has to be the most delicious thing that somebody tastes, because that's what.

Keeps them coming, and that's what they remember. Exactly.

And that's how you leave them feel.

That is how you.

Food is a feeling thing.

It is very much so.

It is not a.

It is taste, but it's a feel.

It.

It can even cause an addiction.

Ex.

Even if you don't like lay's potato chip, right? If you eat one. Have you ever tried to stop eating one after you take a bite?

Man, I'm through the bag and I'm like, what.

What the heck?

You got all this junk around.

You got stuff all over your face. You don't. You don't.

But.

But that's.

That's our point, right? Yeah. Is that you and I have been so humble, right? And. And we've been told, like, Lisa kept saying, oh, well, you guys gotta get together. You gotta do this podcast. You gotta do. You gotta.

Okay, yeah. Y.

Like, bye. All right.

Little cute girl. But we gotta do it. Actually. Listen. But we didn't hear, like, finally she got both of our attention. Like, listen. You're right. Sit down and listen. Even cause an addiction. Exactly. Even if you don't like lay's potato chip, right. If you eat one. Have you ever tried to stop eating one after you take.

Man, I'm through the bag, and I'm like, what.

What the heck?

You got all this junk around.

Stuff all over your face. You don't. You don't.

But.

But that's.

That's our point, right? Is that you and I have been.

She had to raise her board. Yeah.

She had to get like, Big mom. Right?

And she did. In fact, we were. We were at.

Hence Lisa, Listen.

Right, right. Yeah, that's right. We were over in the mid side of town, close to the airport. We were having a meeting. That's when she had to raise her voice. But I want to segue into this. You brought these books. Save these titles really quickly.

Humble.

Right?

And. And we've Been told, like Lisa kept saying, oh, well, you guys gotta get together. You gotta do this podcast. You gotta do. You gotta.

But we didn't. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. All right, bye. All right. Little cute girl.

But we're going. We gotta do actually, actually listen. But we didn't hear. Finally she got both of our attention. Like, listen, sit down and listen. Let's have this conversation about. Because this, this is a tie in. This is an additional tie. So.

So, you know, one of the things is throughout my life I've seen. I've read many books. These are just a few.

Okay.

Post traumatic slave syndrome helps me to understand the conditions that create some of the barriers.

Okay.

Of not only she had the raise of.

Yeah.

She had to get like big mom. Right.

And she did. In fact, we were, we were at.

Hence Lisa listen.

Right, right. Yeah, that's right. We were over in the mid side of town, close to the airport. We're having a meeting. That's when she had to raise her voice. But I want to segue into this. You brought these books, say these titles really quickly.

Not me, but the African American community and myself. Whatever. I'll give you one quick example.

Let's have this conversation about. Because this, this is a tie in. This is an additional tie in. So.

So, you know, one of the things is. Is throughout my life I've seen. I've read many books. These are just a few.

Okay.

Post traumatic slave syndrome helps me to understand the conditions that create some of the barriers.

Okay.

Of not only my grandmother. Very, very light skinned like Alina Horne, okay. She said she was too white to be black, by the way.

So was my grandmother on my mother's side.

Oh, wow.

Same thing on my mother's side.

See how we are Hartwell and too black. Me. But the African American community. Community and myself. Whatever. I'll give you one quick example.

Okay.

My grandmother, very, very light skinned like Alina Horne.

Okay.

She said she was too white to be black, by the way.

So was my grandmother on my mother's side.

Oh, wow.

Same thing on my mother's side.

See how we are Hartwell and. And too black to be white. White men wanted to see her in secrecy, of course. Black men wanted to exploit her because of her light color. Right? So let's start interesting. Slave syndrome talks about those. Those light and dark skin things. So to be white. White men wanted to see her in secrecy, of course. Black men wanted to exploit her because of her like color. Right? So interesting slave syndrome talks about those. Those light and dark skin things. So one Thing I'll just tell you before you say this is that when I was born, one thing that my mother said that my grandmother made sure that happened because I'm dark. She said, I want you to understand one thing. You are so special because of that dark beautiful complexion. It made other people think I was conceited. But that was because my grandmother told me one thing I'll just tell you before you say this is that when I was born, one thing that my mother said, that my grandmother made sure that happened because I'm dark, she said, I want you to understand one thing. You are so special because of that dark beautiful complexion. It made other people think I was conceited. But that was because my grandmother told.

Me she knew the alternative.

She knew what was going to happen.

So let me sneak in there with you on this so that she knew the alternative.

She knew what was gonna happen.

So let's let me sneak in there with you on this so that for people that listen, that may not understand in depth of what shondal saying in our culture, people that are listening, that may not understand in depth of what Shondal saying in our culture. Just like in our world, our culture does things that they don't, they don't speak a lot to it. But there is a. They do make a difference between light skinned black people and dark skinned black people.

Right.

I don't know if it's still around. I don't even care for still around. But they used to have a club called the Brown Paper Bag Club and the Brown Paper Bag Club, if your skin was lighter than a brown paper bag, you were allowed in the club. Yeah. Yeah. And if it wasn't, then you weren't allowed in. And black people will say that light skinned people, light skinned black people are better than dark skinned black people.

Exactly.

It's in our culture and you get stigmatized if you're one of a dark skinned person. In my family, my brothers and sisters, they're four. Dark skinned like me and more lighter skin like your grandmother.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

We don't, we don't draw lines. We. I shouldn't say that. We do tease one another, which is a business, which is a way of exploiting that as well.

Sure.

But in our own society and culture we make a delineation difference between light skinned black people and dark skinned black people. Need to know that. They may not know that.

No, they don't know that. And, and what's funny is CNN did a little test with kids. Remember they did a test with baby dolls Right. If you remember that once CNN did this. And I think I forgot what it was. It was, what's that lady's name? I can't remember her name. But anyway, they did a test with the light, with the white doll and the black doll.

Right.

And the kids who were black kids thought the white doll was the prettiest doll. Right, Right. And so this was ingrained in slavery. Right.

It was unspoken about in this post.

Traumatic slave syndrome by Joy, Dr. Joy Degrad. She is phenomenal. If you ever get a chance to listen to her speak, go to YouTube, pick her up. She is phenomenal because she breaks it down. Now, her breakdown is not to agitate.

Or annoy us, to help you understand. And there's a phenomena underneath that we don't talk about.

Yeah, she does a great job of talking about that because in the same thing, everybody thought I married or was in love with Arlene because of her skin tone.

Right.

And I said, no, I actually fell in love with Arlene before I really knew what she looked like. Right, Right. So. So that, that's where people have to understand the difference.

You know what I like about what you just said? There was a gentleman. I won't name names because I didn't get the permission to do this. But that's okay. I get to tell a story. Yeah. Just related to your story, we had this couple over our home a number of months ago and it's a light skinned black man with a Caucasian woman. And he's sitting across the bar and he looks at me and we had gone to dinner. Great, great connection between the four of us.

And he looks at me and he.

Says to me, he says, jess, how do you feel about being in an interracial relationship? How do you feel about that? How do you manage that? I said, I don't.

I knew you would say that. I knew you would say that. I could have finished your single.

I said, I don't. Yeah. He said, what? He was perplexed. He's a smart guy. Yeah. He said, what? Yeah, I said, I don't. And he wouldn't say anything. So I know his mind was like. Because he had respect for me, but he's thinking, should I maintain the respect or just gotta retard it? No. And I was. He.

I had a similar experience when I remember when Tierra was getting married and she posted her engagement photo or whatever and somebody said, how do you feel about your daughter marrying a white guy? I said, he's not white, he's Irish.

So they were like, they have the same look.

Like what?

Right. So Dick said. Right. So the guy says. And he's perplexed. Really bright, intelligent guy. He was perplexed. He was. Completely. Because he had such respect for me. And when I said that, he wanted to drop me to the bottom. Because it was a ridiculous comment. Yeah. But he couldn't because he'd have so much respect. Yeah. So he's perplexed. So. So I explained. I said, I see myself in love with and enthralled with a beautiful woman inside and out.

Yeah.

Yeah. Her inside is beautiful and her outside is beautiful. That's who I see myself with, the world. Or. Or the comment that you made people that maybe like yourself, you may see it that way. The world sees it that way. If they do, or much of the world, I should say, yeah, that's on them, not on me.

Yeah. I don't. I don't carry that burden.

I'm not tired.

I'm not buying it. Yeah.

I don't sell it as such. I don't see it as such, and I don't live it as such. So I can't answer that. You're gonna have to find someone that lives that paradigm. Because I don't.

Because.

What do you think?

Well, they think about it more than we do.

Right, Exactly. That's my point. But what do you think about how I responded this.

God, you know what? I told you I would have responded the same way. You know, and then. And that's. That's the difference, is that I think that people have, again, their limitations.

Exactly. Come back to what I said earlier. We are all one people living the same life right now. And your perspective of it is your choice, not mine.

And again, it doesn't mean that we ignore anything else.

Right?

No. And here, here's.

Here's.

Here's the thing that I want to. Everybody listening to this to understand. And it hasn't changed since the 60s. It hasn't changed since slavery. If you really, really study slavery and you study our history and you study. You study everything that's not in the history books, guess what? There are. There's. There are a group of people who are racist.

There are another.

There's another group of people who are much larger, who don't want to get involved.

That's right.

The group that does not want to get involved. Right. They're standing by and they're saying, I don't want. I don't want none of that. I don't want to talk about that. Right. But then you got another group on the other side that's saying, well, I hate the racist people, right? So the, the issue is, is that you got this group of people who are, who are controlling the narrative, who are very, very small, believe it or not. Very, very small. Even if you watch a movie like Mississippi Burning, right? And you watch that, most of the people in the town, they're hiding behind the curtain, right? They're, they're, they're closing their doors, right? As brutality is happening, they're turning their heads. Then you got a small group of people who are standing out there and watching it going, yeah, kill them.

Kill him. Kill him.

Right? But then you got a bunch of people who are standing out there and they're burning their stuff and mad because of what's going on. So you have a. A small group of people trolling the narrative and shit.

Shame on us, right?

As a human race to allow a small group of people to control the narrative.

You're spot on what you're saying. What's the name, what's the name of the lady that plays Cookie in. I can't think of her name right now in Empire. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the, what's the movie she was just in? Similar to Mississippi.

I can't remember the name of it, but I know.

No, no, no, not hidden figures. Yeah, it's.

I know what you're talking about.

I can't think of name, but there's this Caucasian guy that was leader of the Ku Klux Klan. Yeah. And when they started all that stuff, this is all based on a true story. Not only did he get to the side where you said, well, he's not just standing one. Hate kill, hate kill. Or saying, I don't want any of this. He actually got involved and helped change a lot of segregation laws and so forth. I can't even think of the name of the movie right now. I just saw not too long ago.

And that's the thing, Jess, is that we, you know, and this book just opened the door. This one gave me the permission to have conversations with black and white people and saying, watch what happened. Right. And correct. Whatever, whatever post Traumatic slave syndrome is, we can change those behaviors based on how we act.

Right.

And based on how we handle.

And that also touches humility.

Yeah, it touches humility. Doing business by the good book is really a book of intelligence, integrity. David L. Stewart. David, with Worldwide Technologies just went over $10 billion last year as a company, as a corporation. African American male talks about the trials and tribulations of being a black male in the technology field in the 1970s.

Wow.

Right. But he said his biggest opposition in this book, he said, my biggest opposer were people who look like me.

Wow.

They were. Because I did not belong.

Because they said, you don't fit there. You don't want it. And who are they to say?

And based on their limitations, again. So he gave me the permission to be an entrepreneur, have a succession plan and be okay because he rose above all that noise. And he has 52 Tierra. And I've been reading and studying. Every week we take a lesson out of his book of success and we read it together. Wow. Awesome.

You know, that's a good one. Okay, so this next one, this one.

Is the history of Christianity in Africa. Because there's some confusion as to, you know, is Christ. Where is all this Worldwide technologies just went over $10 billion last year as a company, as a corporation. African American male, talks about the trials and tribulations of being a black Mapping. Right. If you go through the history of the Bible, mostly from things are happening on what continent.

In Africa, you think in Africa. Okay, absolutely.

And so there's another book that I've read called Papers in African Psychology. I didn't bring that one with me by Naeem Akbar. Naim Akbar was another guy that was at this conference I was telling you about with 100 black men. And what he talks about is, hey, do you realize how the media has really played on the. The mentality of African Americans? How the media will tell you that every African walks around in loincloth and can't speak any other language.

But.

This tells a lot of stories about Christians who were in Africa and even the journey that Jesus took in Africa. Right. When you look at. Because sometimes people think Jewish people all look like the Jews in New York.

Right. That's not true.

Jewish people look like me. And you too, right. And Lisa too. Right. So we. To your point, think about Malcolm X trip to Mecca.

Right.

And how he said, oh, wow, I thought all Muslims were black.

Right.

Until I went to Mecca. Right. And realized that the world is bigger than Harlem.

Exactly. Well said.

Right?

Yeah. So this opens you up a little bit.

Yeah.

In this history of Christianity in Africa, there was a book that there was a Canadian that turned me on the Bible. In the early days, in slave days, they took all the parts. Do you know what I'm saying? They took all those parts out. That was what the Bible truly was about. So that they can manifest slavery. So they didn't want the black people reading in there. The sins against this Kind of stuff. And I got that from a Canadian he turned down to that Bible. He shows your passage from that Bible that they gave to black people. That wasn't really the official Bible.

Yeah, remember Canadians would. That was the promised land for most slaves.

Yes.

Harry Tubman was going railroad. Right.

That's true.

And that's the thing that this is, this is a great discussion because people don't have that history. They don't have that.

I was blown away. I learned this maybe a month ago. Wow. Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, it was really cool. So the next one. Disciplines of a godly man.

Okay, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna give you that. I know we run out of time a little bit, but I'm gonna give you, I'm going to give you this real quick. I was sitting on the couch after my father passed away, a year after my father passed away, visiting my mom. And God spoke to me and said, hey, I need you to go to a bookstore and get a book on manhood that will help you understand what your father's been saying for all this time, right? So we were sitting on the couch and I called my brother in law, who's a pastor. I said, hey, where is there a Christian bookstore? Me and my mom drove from Brooklyn to Queens. We went into this bookstore. I said, where are your Christian books, your literature? And we went to the back and two books were this book and another book was sitting out like this. I grabbed this book, started reading it, I took a picture of it, sent it to my pastor, Pastor Fowler. Pastor Fowler is a great book. When I read this book, Jesse, I gotta tell you, this is an amazing guide. What a man is supposed to do when we say we don't know what to tell men. Discipline of marriage. Wow. So this apps, you see, I beat this one up too. You know, I'm reading these books, right? This is really, really tattered. So I try to tell my sons, I said, hey, don't listen to me. How about this? How about discipline in relationships, right? How about discipline in your soul? That's your mind. Devotion, prayer, worship. How about disciplining your character, integrity, tongue, work, perseverance. How about disciplining in your ministry, right? All of the disciplines of a godly man outlined in this book by Kent Hughes gives me who I am. It really brought all of the stories from my father. And my father was talking about race and culture and all those things.

And it could do this. I can do this for others too. Others that take up this book, I can do from you. This would serve them and the people that they know that they serve as well.

And I'm gonna tell you one quick thing about that book. It actually goes against everything we were taught. Be a man.

I'm not surprised.

Be a man. Jesse. What does that crying.

Right.

Don't you ever get in touch with your emotions?

Right.

That book says that's all wrong.

I've always believed that it's all wrong.

So that book tells me that little.

Boys do this, little girls do that. No, that's not true.

It's not true. Those are what And I'm gonna tell you one quick thing about that book. It actually goes against everything we were taught. Be a man.

I'm not surprised.

Be a man. Jesse. What does that stop crying.

Right.

Don't you ever get in touch with your emotions?

Right.

That book says that's all wrong.

I. I've always believed that it's all wrong.

So that book tells me that little.

Boy do this, little girls do that. No, that's not true.

That's not true.

Those are what I call false limiting beliefs. Yeah, you were taught that as part of your belief system. It's not true.

And your conditioning belief.

In fact, we need to do a program on false limiting beliefs.

Write it down.

False limiting beliefs.

I love that down. Look at this guy. He always comes up with some new topics. So I love my brother from Hawthorne.

Well, quite Frank Hawthorne School. But nothing like Bed Stuy. I call false limiting beliefs. Yeah, you were taught that as part of your belief system. It's not true.

And your conditioning belief.

In fact, we need to do a program on false limiting beliefs.

Write it down.

False limiting beliefs.

I love that down. Look at this guy. He always comes up with some new topics. So I love my brother from well.

Quite Frank Hollywood school. But nothing like bed stuff.

Do a die.

But no Lisa. Lisa is the one with the jewels with coming up this sort of stuff. But here's what I want to close with. I want to close with. This is short. Tell us in short how you will manifest this thing called humble to a fault. What will you do to upgrade up level your space? I'll answer two, but you answer first. What will you do to upgrade and up level your your space so others can hear that that you're doing the work too.

I am going to allow people to tell that story and allow them to use me to tell that story without being resistant. I will let it go. I will use it as a strength and not a weakness.

Fair enough. That's good. That's a plaudible thank you.

That's good.

Actually, I'm very similar to mine. I would say that I'm going to listen to Lisa Farrell's own of the world and the people that she brings into our space and get out there and allow others to champion our cause with a broader voice than I've ever had before and move away from the wall of humility. Not 100% because it is part of who I am as well. But have a time and timing game where there are times I need to step my game up. And maybe I'm not the face of a Tony Robbins, but the voice and the power that he also has as well. But I can't do that from the office.

Right.

I got to do that out there in the world. So those of you listening, that's. That's. Those are tips from both Shondell and myself and just say, this was a great, great program. And I'm gonna have Lisa speak loudly when she says this, because we know that the relationship building relationship equity with your marriages, with your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your children, your family, your best friends work. We know that one of the best ingredients to the best, most successful relationships and the best way to lead people is to consider what it's all about.

How you leave them feeling.

There it is. That's it.

You got it.