What Are You Thankful For?

Welcome to our Brothers in Conversation podcast, powered by Jesse and Shondell. Shondell, you are from Bed Stuy do or Die Brooklyn.

That little town?

That's a little town that's nothing like Hawthorne, Nevada. Population 5,000 cats and dogs. Okay? So we are live, and we're gonna make this happen right now. And it is Shondell Newsom in the house. This is our podcast, Brothers in Conversation. We have been on a bit of a break there. We'll call that a sabbatical in Shondaland. Shondaland. Is that called a sabbatical?

That's what I call it, man. I just sat, though, and I took a couple weeks. Just, like, blow it out.

Absolutely. And you needed that. You needed that. And you know what, Pete? People need that. We need to. Even if it's not a couple weeks, even if it's a couple days, even if it's a couple weeks, even if it's a couple hours, there are times in our lives that we're going so hard, so much and doing so much that we have to just decompress, pull back, and just be. And that's what you did.

Yes, I did. And you know what? It made me appreciate a lot of things. Even in the midst of everything that's going on, it made me have a little bit of appreciation. I show a little. A lot of love to, of course, you know, my family, my beautiful wife, my kids, and really just kind of just, you know, think. It gives you time to think.

That's exactly right. And also there was you and Lisa fostering what this program is about, which. Which this one is about. What are you thankful for?

Right?

And it's very simple. What are you thankful for? Which goes into gratitude. So let's just. We got a half hour power. This is going to go by super, super fast. And when you think about that concept, let's. Let's first off, think about it from your perspective, Shondell. Then. Then let's switch over and think about maybe from Arlene's perspective or your. Or your kids perspective or your business partners or whatever, starting from you. When you think about what are you thankful for? What are you thankful for right now?

You know, I'm really. Well, first and foremost, you know, you know who I am. I. You know, I'm thankful to God for many reasons, because I get to. I've had this journey in life that has been challenging, but it's been rewarding. It's been educational, and it's been filled with a lot of love. It's been filled with some tragedy. But through the tragedy, it made me stronger. So I feel one that when I talk about my faith, I feel great about the fact that everything that I was taught as a child really came to fruition as an adult. There's a First Corinthians 13:11 that says, When I was a child, I thought like a child, I acted like a child. But when I became a man, I put away all childish things. And I'm grateful to that. I'm grateful for that. I've done several eulogies this year, and, you know, I'm grateful for the honor of having the opportunity to talk about people who I love and be the last person really on earth to talk about them, because that I didn't realize that that was such an honor. That was a great honor, even though it was in sorrowful situations. And I'm grateful for during the pandemic, and you and I both have kind of shared this, is that I've had a great opportunity to spend quality time with my wife as we stay in. Right.

Yes.

Be with each other. And we have, you know, it's not like we're forced, but it actually gives me. I'm not on planes flying here. We're not in the office doing work together. We're not with the kids, doing kids. It's me and her just sitting there having a conversation. I'm really, really grateful for that.

That's amazing. That's a load of gratitude. Those people that are listening to that, I trust that that's resonating with whether you're a mother, a father, a son, a brother. I'll bet that's resonated with a lot of people. So I appreciate that sharing. And I. And a lot of that is echoing right over in to where I am grateful and thankful for as well. No surprise. You and I typically line up with so many different things in life, both past and present, and also where we're going in the future. So that's so huge. And the first one where I want to relate to you on is the the thankfulness that I have and the gratitude I have for Lisa. Lisa is exceptional and has been from day one an exceptional influence in my life. She actually helps me continue to want to be better. She helps sharpen the saw. She helps whenever we're working on, whether it's a project for a client or something personal, she always brings her very best to the table. And she's got so many gifts and talents and so forth. And she's someone that I'm grateful for for a lot of reasons I could probably have a whole half an hour, an hour or a day just talking about that gratitude. So that's huge. But another thing that I'm really grateful for is I'm grateful for what comes to mind for me is, oddly enough, I'm also grateful for the most difficult moments I've had in my life. I've learned more shondell from the most difficult moments of my life. Whether it's a broken relationship, a broken heart, whether it's termination from a job, even those things I'm grateful for. I don't want to live in that space and I don't want to stay in that. But if I just take a broken heart, when my heart was broken for the reasons that it was broken by the person that was doing the breaking, I decided, without telling a long story, that I am going to elevate my ability to communicate to such a level that the reason why this person is saying that they do not want me in their life will go away. That will never be an option for people because I want to communicate so effectively with others that it allows me to be where I want, when I want, for however long I want. And I don't know if I would communicate it, communicate with the efficiency that I currently can. And I'm still looking to raise that if it wasn't for that tragedy. Share your thoughts. Love to hear your thoughts.

You know, I tell you, I do appreciate. And I've been watching your post, Jess, and watching your Facebook post and what you've been really, really grateful for. I think I saw something with your dad for his birthday.

Yes.

I thought that was amazing. Right. And I saw all the different posts with Lisa and your friends. And you know what I see is that. And this is what I say, even with all the tragedy and everything that's going on, it makes you appreciate your friends. It makes you appreciate the things that are valuable to you. And I got the opportunity to see what was valuable to you through all of these different posts on Facebook. So I'll tell you what I. What I believe is that it's all. You guys say this a lot. It's really on how you look at things. It's how you. You say it in a certain way, but it's how you view life and how you choose to live your life.

It's true.

No, you guys probably talked about that in the Breakthrough success Breakfast or something like that. But that would. That's just amazing that when you take the perspective and you look at it, you go, wow, man. If I Look at things this way, it's gloomy. When I look at it this way, it's actually a beautiful thing. So it changes your whole mindset, your own feeling, your health and everything.

It really does. And I 100% agree with you. And let me say, because that's such a great thing to bring up when you talk about being thankful, when you talk about gratitude, that's really solid because we can talk about that and a lot of people can relate to that. But how do we get there? How do we make that happen? That's really what you're saying. And. And you just. You just kind of open up the secrets. And here it is. Lisa and I have decided this. I don't care how long you live. The longer you live, the more you have an opportunity for it all to happen to you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Right?

We will win things. We will lose things. People will leave the earth on us. Some people will come into the earth for us. We will feel sadness, we'll feel glad, we'll feel empathy, we'll feel regret, we'll feel remorse. Everything will happen to you. The longer you keep living, the more you have an opportunity for life circumstance to happen. So we decided this. We're going to respect what's happening or what has happened, but we're going to put 90% of our energy and what are we going to do about what's happening or what has happened? I'm not going to put 90% of the energy of the crap stuff that's happened to me in my life. Why put 90% of my energy in that when it's already happened? What are you going to do about it?

What are you gonna do about it? Yeah, you know, and that's a great. That's a great way to look at things. My son Thomas and I were talking about that just the other day. How many people do you talk to that says, hey, you know, this happened to me when I was a kid. This happened, you know, last week. Or this. This right here is the reason why I act this way. But like you said, what can you do about it? What can you do different that happened to you years ago? How can you change that? Change it? Right?

Yes. Shondell, when something happens to you that's upsetting, that's frustrating, that leaves you feeling horrible in the gut. That makes you go, why would they do that to me?

Right?

Why is this happening? I didn't do anything to deserve this. Shondal, you don't spend more than 15 seconds after coming to the Realization that you're in a dark, difficult, negative space. I know you. You immediately start thinking of solutions. You can't help it.

Exactly.

You immediately come with something that's changed the world. Anybody that knows, you cannot ever think of the words. Two words the same way.

Right.

I can never think of something new without thinking of some new.

Wow.

I can't do it. Every time I try to say something new, some new comes right after it.

Yeah, yeah.

And that's.

Yeah, that's by design. That's by design, exactly.

And so my point is that's. But that fits you.

Yes.

Some New fits who you are. You're always thinking of something new. You're always thinking of something. You can't stop doing it.

Exactly. And you know, and that keeps me. That keeps me moving forward when other people are stuck and quit saying. And it's funny because my. You know, I saw. I was watching some television program and somebody said, hey, you know, you can't change the past unless you get the DeLorean. Right. And you do Back to the Future and you go back in time, then you can change the events of the past. But Michael P. Keaton. Right. Not here. Or that was his name on the other show, but Fox. Right, Right. He's not here, and neither is Doc. And we're not going back in the future to make. Change the events of what happened. Make the change that you want to see today. And that's why I don't dwell on things.

Exactly. You never have, even as a kid, taking on a family when you were building your own family as a kid, when you still need to be getting. Being a kid. But now you have Papa, Daddy and a family. So you've been amazing with that. And so. And folks that are watching and listening this, when we're talking about the analogy between something New and some new. Some New is Shondell's company that he built. And the company is called Some New. Tell them real quickly about Some New about where that concept came from. And that's why Lisa and I can't say something new in our house. And if she says something new, I say some New. And if I say something and she says something new. And now. Now we got Lisa. Oh, Shafer doing it. Lisa. Al Shafer and Lisa Farrell. We did. We did a board of directors meeting at Wynn Las Vegas. Thank you. Wynn. Beautiful place to do anything there. A little shout out for Wynn Las Vegas.

Beautiful.

And we were there. And every time someone. We were in our meeting, someone said, well, we need to think of something new. Even Lisa lschafer would say something new and start laughing.

And you know what? That's what it was designed for. Because I remember my father used to, hey, you know what? If things are not working for what we're doing right now, do something new. That's our last name, Newsom. Do something new. So when we first started our company, it was Newsome Marketing Enterprises. And we were like, you know, we gotta do something new. We gotta change that name. Because, yes, everybody knows Newsome. That's fine. But we gotta do something new. And then we said something new.

And.

We switched up the spelling and we switched it up. There's actually a little tiny computer country somewhere way out there has a similar name, but other than that, we took it on.

Exactly. So we're talking about gratitude. We're talking about being thankful. You're thankful that you and your father had that conversation. You're thankful that you built the company. Now you're handing down the company to your daughter, and she's running the company, and you're thankful for her wanting to take on this charge and. And carry on the legacy.

I'm thankful for the newness of it because, you know, we were once before a family of destruction. You know, we were known in Brooklyn as the family that would, you know, steal from you, that would beat you up, that would do all. And that wasn't me. That was my father's generation. So I'm grateful to my dad for passing a whole new attitude and something new, because that led to prison and death.

Okay?

This. This leads to prosperity, growth, and. And I mean, it is so amazing to live this life.

You're striking a nerve in me, Shondell, today more than ever. I. I think probably because we know we only have 30 minutes. I want an hour with you. I think. I think that's why you're striking more of a nerve with me.

But hitting you hard, brother.

Right? Right. But when you talk about fathers, thank you for that, because I'm thanking you for many things, but for this moment. You just brought my father. When I was going through school, when I would have. When I had challenges, I go to my father. My father and I, even though he's the father, I respected him as a father. We also had, like, a brother kind of relationship as well. So I said to my father, said, listen, it typically was a girl problem, Pops, you know, such and such about the girl. My father would tell me, like, two or three stories and make me figure it out. But so I caught on to that. I go to my father, I said, pops, I got this. Such and such and such. And my father, I said, now wait a minute. I said, don't tell me any of them damn stories either. I said, just give me the answer. I just need to know what to do. And he would never tell me what to do. He would not do it. Shondal. So fast forward 40 years, I'm at Landmark Education being trained on how to get myself together. And they reveal the baggage you've been carrying around. So I've been telling stories about my father. My father, don't do this. My father, that he never came to my basketball game. He took time off to go see my brother playing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But what did my father actually do? I went to school to get two college degrees.

Yep.

To live a life and build a great life. You follow me?

Yep. Yep, I follow you. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the same love you feeling.

And here it comes. I learned at Landmark Education that my father and those damn stories did more for me then two college degrees and teaching at the university for six years.

Wow.

You know why?

Why?

What do I do for a living? Shonda.

You know, you are. I mean, you know, and I'm always. I'm always pausing because when people ask me what just does, what Jeff does, I say, you know, I'll just tell you this. I went to Jesse first when I wanted to rebuild the chain.

Right.

And what I will tell you, what you do is you make systematic change in people's lives.

Wow. Wow. I did. Wow. Oh, that's. Oh, you gave me chili bumps. I wasn't even looking for that. I want you to. I want you to fill in a little bit more on that. But let me say this to you. How do I do that? You know how I do that? Telling stories.

Yes.

My father. My father taught me how to tell stories. And I didn't even want. I didn't. I didn't know he was teaching me.

Let me tell you something that's funny about the storytelling thing is I tell stories, of course, to ask Tierra about those drives, because my kids actually didn't get punished. Really? They didn't get punished? Like I didn't do, like the whole punishment thing, like go to timeout. I would say, let's go for a drive.

And you would tell stories.

I would tell stories.

So how can this be? I spend 10 years the first time, six, 16 years at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, only to go to one self development program in Southern California. That teaches me on the second day that my father taught me more than I ever learned at the university.

Well, let me tell you why. And you said, throw some substance to it. You transform lives because you have the ability to be a sponge and then be a fire hose. You took all that information, you absorbed it, right? You absorbed with your dad. Lawrence Weekley on a show earlier talked about you as a kid. It sounded perfect. You took all of that, everything you've absorbed through your career in gaming and hospitality, through your career as an executive. I talked to Anthony Williams the other way the other day when we were at another event, another function. He still raves about what you've done for him. Listen, the way that you do it is because your father told stories, but you had to be a sponge. Yes, fire hose. And you, you put all of that out to people. And as long as they're, they're willing to extinguish everything in them and make a change and become refreshed and renewed, they can take it, right? So I'm grateful for our relationship.

Oh wow, that's so powerful. And I appreciate that, especially coming from you because you are a truth teller. If people don't want to know the truth, they don't need to come knocking at your door.

That's true.

Because now you'll do it in a delightful way. You'll do it as smoothly as you, as you possibly can, which is typically on a 10 point scale. Your smooth level never really drops below an 8.5 to a 9 because you're typically about a 10 when it comes to smooth. Seriously. And I'm not trying to blow you up, that's just how. But you're not, but you're going to get it out there. You're not going to, you're not a bullshitter. You're going to get it out there. So to hear you say that is powerful. And I really resonate with that because it comes from a, a pulp places. My mother was very influential. My aunt Helen, my aunt Viola were very, very influential. My grandmothers in Mississippi and Reno were very, very influential. My teachers in Hawthorne, Nevada, my art teacher and my fourth grade teacher and my high school art teacher, these were all influential. I had a pool of friends that they had a lifestyle that wasn't like mine, but they let me into their home and, and they treated me like I was a brother. So I got to see how to build a life and how to build a home from other people that wasn't like my home. My Uncle George, he, he would say, now, now, boy, now when we go out Now, Now I want you to. Want you to look at the menu. I want you to read it, and I want you to order something for yourself. And don't order no damn hamburger again. Pick out something else.

That'S good. I love. I love it when you can do that.

And, you know, let me.

And I know we're going to be wrapping up here in about seven minutes. Right. But I just want to say this. I am. I am thankful and grateful to your Lisa Farrell.

Oh.

Because she brings us together.

Yep.

I know we had our little sabbatical. We had some time off. I really needed the time to kind of flush everything out.

Yes.

New and books and. And the chamber and. And all these other politics. So I appreciate her for continuing to push us to do this.

Oh, my God.

I think we, you know, this is where we can be a light to everyone else in the world.

100%. She's a catalyst for not just change, but transformation. There are people that may be listening to this. In fact, we want you to share this with. From Facebook. Share this with others while you. While you. Once you take a look at this, because you never know, one word can make a difference in someone's life. One story. People can relate to certain parts of this Sean Dale that really lets them do something different in an elevated way in their life. So Lisa is 100% responsible, one for the organic development of this and the continuation and the management. And she's done. She's done an extraordinary job with that. And so when we talk about gratitude and thank you, she's definitely at the top of the list. I want to also go backwards and say that my brother Al was. My brother Al taught me how to work. He taught me work ethic.

Right.

Because he was such a superior athlete that he never had to try. I could. I could. I would practice for literally hours and hours and hours and hours. Get on the court with him. He would blow me away with his eyes closed, and he never practiced.

Right?

Right. But I would keep doing anyway. Then on the football field, I would practice, practice, practice. He would blow in. He would catch football behind his back with one hand and run through the end. I mean, the dude was just amazing. And I always wanted to be as good as him. I was never going to be as good as him, but I never stopped working to be as good as him. But you know what that taught me? When you want something, you work for it.

Work for it.

My brother taught me that. He taught me how to work right.

And that. And that's what we need, man. Is like, we got to understand that, you know, Again, I'll go back to my other. One of my other favorite Bible quote bible verses, Thessalonians 3 and 10. If a man is not willing to work, you shall not eat. That's one of my favorite. I used to tell my kids that. They're like, that's not in the Bible. I said, here it is. If a man is not willing to work, he shall not eat. So that hard work is why you eat well. Right?

Right.

We, we have an incredible life, Jess. You know, I just bought a new home. Me and Arlene just bought a new home out in Green Valley. And I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying that because in the midst of everything that's going on, we were able to get an outstanding rate with the va. My realtor called me up and said, hey, this is the time that you want to really, really get something that you want. Right? Like, oh, shoot, you know what? Because we were in a smaller place than we always wanted, something that we could entertain our kids and everything like that. I'm grateful for that because when I talk about those relationship, my realtor called me because he knew me. He said, I know what you want. Yeah, I think I found it.

That's amazing.

And we moved within a month and a half quickly into getting it in place. But, Jess, we are afforded the opportunity to do that, right?

Absolutely.

Our ancestors, our parents or anybody else weren't afforded that opportunity. I am grateful for that.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. That's worth applauding. That's great. Congratulations. Well done. And I'm glad, glad you did that. You guys both deserve it. You, you've, you've worked your, your butts off for so long from raising kids to raising your lives and keeping relationship strong and building businesses and helping people that you don't even know through the chamber. You help people that you haven't even met yet, but they know you and they know of you, so, so that's huge. And I think, and I think of that and I also want to say my sister Pam was someone for me. That's been extremely. I have such gratitude for her. She's such an amazing person. She's got such joy and love and care. In fact, she is the mother of all mothers. She mothers our family. She's mothers other families. She's amazing. She's going through some life development matters right now, but she is someone that allows me to practice. I'm not going to say bad words on this because other people watching, but she she does. She allows me to practice my shit.

Right.

I practice everything on Pam. And so she's. Because. Because I like to test it to see how it is. And so she's amazing. I want to switch back to Lisa for one second when we talk about Lisa. Hit take a look at what Lisa and I are up to now. And Lisa is co authoring this right here.

What? So is that another version? Let me see.

Yep.

How you leave them feeling your found. I love it.

Your foundation for inspiring love and relationships. We're in the process of writing this book right now. It'll be ready for market first quarter of 2021.

Awesome.

Awesome. So as we bring this to a close, is there someone or something you want to speak of in the way of gratitude or thank you or appreciation?

Well, again, you know, I want to spend a lot of gratitude to you guys. I know it's always difficult. And again with Lisa, it's difficult bringing me and you together. We get so busy. We get so always in dated with different things. That's a challenge. But I think we owe it to her and to the community and to our Facebook folks and our fans or whatever you want to call them to continue our conversation.

I agree with that. I agree with that. In continuation for that gratitude. It's mutual and it is for all the reasons you just said. I will say that those of you watching or listening this start, do this for the next all the way till Saturday. Wake up in the morning, set the timer for three minutes and then this three minutes. What I want you to do is I want you to write down everything that you're grateful for. For everything that you appreciate, everything that you're thankful. Write that down in a list every day until. Until Saturday morning. Make it your last day, put it aside on Monday, go back and read each of those iterations. Even if you duplicate, it doesn't matter. You know what happens when you write down your gratitude? Do you know what happens with that, Shondell, when someone writes down what they're grateful for, what they are thankful for?

You know, I think. I think it keeps them motivated. Keeps them and it creates a memory of that.

Yes.

In fact.

In fact, Lisa and I do this thing called reflection. I know we have to close it down. We do this called reflections. And we reflect on the best things that's happening throughout our lives periodically. And we put it in this place called reflections because it is human nature to let the negative emotions and negative things rise to the top and stay even if it's only 1% negative. And 99% positive. People will focus on the 1% negative.

Yes, yes, definitely.

So. So there you go. So we like to say here on brothers in conversation.

Right on.

What is it all about, my brother?

How you leave them feeling?

Thank you for the exit. Have a great rest of the day. We'll be in touch.

All right, brother.

Love you, man. Love you. Bye now. Sa. Sam.