Where Leaders Focus During Times of Disruption

Welcome to our Brothers in Conversation podcast, powered by Jesse and Shondell. Shondell, you are from Bed Stuy do or Die Brooklyn.

That little town.

That's a little town that's nothing like Hawthorne, Nevada. Population 5,000 cats and dogs. April 16, 2020, episode number 25. And I'm just. I'm going to let him say a quick hello, and then I'm going to run a quick few words of his bio by everyone. This everybody probably already knows him, but if you don't, you're gonna know a little bit more about him. So our special guest is Ken Evans, president of the Urban Chamber. Say hello, if you will, Ken, please.

Hello, hello, hello out there. I'd like to say hello to both my Urban Chamber family as well as just in general, people that are checking out brothers in Conversations this morning.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. So you got a little bit of a following for us, right, Ken?

I hope so. Although, as some people say right now, these days, I have a face for radio.

Oh, you took that away from me. Don't you ever do that again.

That's my life. I knew you were gonna get him chandel soon as he finished, but he didn't let you. He jumped in first.

That's right.

I think he knows you well, is why that is, Shondell.

I do. I'm learning to be crafty in my old age.

Yeah, you crafted. Because this dude, this Shondel, he'll get you when you least expect. He's telling me about I look intelligent because I put all those books behind me. I said, the problem is they're not my books. So let's read a quick bio. So, Ken, I'm going to read your bio just to brief, so people get to know who you are. Ken Evans was recognized by the Small Business administration as the 2015 Minority Small Business Champion of the Year. That is awesome. I love that. And this is for his work with the Urban Chamber of Commerce, where he serves as president. He is a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel who served in both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. And thank you for your service, Ken. That is. That's pretty powerful stuff. I love. Before we get into the program, I love hearing things about people that have done military service. Can you give us a brief on what you came out of? First off, how long did you serve in the military and what you walked away with in terms of value from having gone through such a major experience?

Well, in total, I did 25 years of service. A little over six and a half years active duty, about another 18 plus years in the Air Force Reserve in different capacities.

Wow.

However, I started my Air Force career in undergrad because I actually attended the Air Force Academy, received a degree in civil engineering, and then I started my active duty assignments after that. So total of 25 years. And I'd have to say what that experience taught me is how to inspire, lead, motivate people in all different types of environments. And then in addition to that, it also taught me how to lead all different types of people. So when people talk about inclusion, I lived it and definitely led in a lot of different environments. That made me appreciate it.

Okay, check, check.

Let me tell you, Jess, why this is important for people to understand. Because we hired Ken close to seven, eight years ago.

Ken, was that going on seven years ago?

Correct. Seven years ago.

So.

And Jesse was interesting as you guys crossed paths, because Jesse was. I think Kim was on the job maybe a few weeks when Jesse. Maybe. And Jesse was our guest speaker at a. At a conference that we had at a Texas station. And we took a lot of flack, Jesse, just. Just to give the whole audience the whole understanding of where this came from. We, as a board never had. The Urban Chamber, never had a paid president. It was always a volunteer position.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

And when they were talking about the future of the chamber and I came on board, you know, I said, if I am going to lead this organization ever, I am not going to be the president. I will never be the president of the chamber if I have to work. Just what Ken just told you about prior to us getting on about all the work he has to put in for this grant.

Right, right. Serious.

Right. So going back to some of the things that you talk to people about, there was. There's a structure that was failing. And I'm not saying again that we weren't, that the Urban Chamber was not effective. But when we talk about good to great, that. That. That's where people get frustrated because I say, hey, yeah, we're doing good. Aren't we doing good? Sure, we're doing good. But do you wanna live in goodness or you wanna live in greatness?

Right, right.

And so when we went to hire Ken, other people called us. You cannot imagine the political environment that we get. People called us, you better hire this person or the community's not gonna like you. You better hire this person or you're gonna get backlash from the community. You better hire. You know, it was that kind of thing when. And I give it to, you know, it was me, Napoleon. Jerry Merritt. Napoleon McAllen from stands. Jerry Merritt. And Jackie Ingram, who was with Wells Fargo, we were the panel, if you will. And everybody else that came in talked about themselves, talked about how great they were, how they could do all of these things. What we were impressed with, Ken, was what he just told you.

Yes.

He was able to lead in tough environments. He was able to lead in diversity. The other thing that we take Flack about and everybody that's listening and everybody that's looking on now, I see a lot of people tuning in. The other thing that we took Flack about was the fact that we were talking about the Chamber diversifying our membership and growing our membership and changing the face of the Chamber, which you came in and you did a marvelous job about how people feel and how you leave them feeling.

Right.

And that how you leave them feeling takes you away from the emotional piece where you get caught up in yourself and you start focusing on somebody else. So bringing in Ken was a key to keeping us mission focused. Mission focused on what we had to do. And then today, fast forward seven years later, we're in one of the toughest business environments ever. And he's leading in that space. So that's important.

I love that, Love what you just said. That's huge, Shondel, about the timing of all that and the synergy and what Ken brings to the table. He didn't even know. Like, this is an organic conversation, this podcast between the three of us. And that was one of the main things I'm going to focus on, is the diversity of leadership, even though that's not our title. And I laid these out. I'm going to show these, I'm going to sample these when we get to it. The different leaderships I pull from my bookshelves, as you say.

Oh, right on.

Yeah. To make the point. And Ken starts out with that. And he didn't even know we were going to go there. Because I don't want people to think that leadership is one style in one entity, in one place, at one level. It's not the President of the United States. It's not Senior vp. It's not just someone that's on a track, on progression, on a professional track. There's leaders in the home, there's this school. There's leaders in the world. There's leaders that don't even have titles.

Yeah.

So Ken's on. I love that. And I also want to do one other switchback. Shondale. Did you. Did you spend time in the services as well, or.

No, I spent 10 years in the United States Air Force.

Oh, nice so we got two Air Force boys, and I didn't spend time in the Air Force, but my father was in the Air Force as well. So that makes three aid.

And your family.

Yeah, I'm family.

I'm family.

And I got to get Ken's opinion on this. Ken, check this out. I'm not going to test you because I don't want. I don't want to do that. I'm just going to say most people, when I meet most people, they almost always, always think that I was in the military or I'm still in the military. And I think the reason is because I was raised on the military base. So all that foundation, everything you said, I lived that. I grew up with that. I smelled that, I breathed that. And so even though I didn't serve in the unfortunate. I'm sure there is a difference from actually service versus living on a base. But a lot of that stuff furloughed over into me. And so a lot of my personality and character was shaped by those structures that you find in the military. I want to hear your thoughts about that, Ken.

Yeah, I'll definitely agree with that. If you have a certain demeanor about you that implies steadiness and structure, that's part of the corporate culture of the Air Force or just the military in general. In fact, what I'll say is I was fortunate enough, and I do say fortunate, because I considered it to be a personal and a professional growth experience. I was fortunate enough to be a commander and a leader and not one of two different combat zones. And that's unique because as a general rule, most officers might, in my position, might get one, maybe two commands. So for me to get not one, not two, but three squadron commands, and two of them being two different theaters, one in Iraq, one in Afghanistan.

Right.

Believe me, the corporate culture of being steady, using structure in order to get through an austere environment or a challenged environment, definitely, that's part of the benefit that you get in any military environment. And I would also offer it translates very well to an environment like the one we're in right now.

All right? Right, right.

So I gotta tell you. Funny. I'm gonna tell you a funny Ken. Ken Evans story, right?

Because everybody.

Everybody's heard this probably, but you just. Maybe our, Our. Our watch party is blowing up. By the way, it's pretty good. And I just want to.

So.

So Ken Evans walks into one of our meetings maybe five years ago, and he comes in and he's, you know, as demonstrative as he can be. Right. Because you know, he's like, we are going global. And every board members looked at him like, what is up with this dude? Right? And afterwards, I told him this. I said, ken, you know, you reach somewhere where sometimes people are not there yet because of all the experience he has. He's there. And see. I know, because again, you know, in my 10 years in the Air Force, I'm working on future technology. So remember, this is late 80s, early 90s, working on drone technology, stealth technology, and what we call smart bombs and things like that. Things that we used that people are now hearing about, you know, years later. But I was telling them they're not. They haven't gone on that journey yet, so. But he was right.

We were going global. We had to help them get there. No, that's good. I love that. Like you said, many people are listening already heard this story, but that feeds into something else. Shondal. I was doing a little research last night. I want to bring some additional value to this session today. And I discovered when you talk about people have already heard, although I'm glad to hear because I hadn't heard it, but many people listening right now likely have already heard. You share that. And that's okay. You know, when I first started this professional and public speaking sort of run, when I decided, okay, this is it, I never wanted to really repeat myself for people that already heard me, but that was the wrong attitude. I went to a professional speaking conference for professional speakers, and there was one speaker that said, there's nothing wrong with sharing things over and over again. The key thing is when you share it like a story, like you just shared, the goal is to keep improving how well you tell that story.

Exactly.

And get to the point where people say, tell the Ken Evans story like they heard it already, but they. You tell the Ken Evans because you tell it so well. Right. So I had to get over that. And last night I discovered this is called. It's called the 10 times 10 times 10 rule. It says something like, say something 10 times in 10 different ways for people to retain 10%.

Yes. Yes.

So just because you say it and you and I and Ken have such conviction, we think they're gonna. I think they're gonna remember. No, they're not.

Say it.

Saying something 10 times in 10 different ways for people to retain 10%. It says this. Communicating well includes not being a victim of panic or hype and laying out a clear action for what to do. And when the 10 times 10 times 10 rule applies here, say something 10 times in 10 different ways for people to retain 10%. You're probably not communicating enough unless you feel like you're going blue in the face repeating the priorities and areas of focus, the things you want them to focus on and. And things you want them to morph and change 10 times 10 times 10. What do you think of that concept there, Ken, when you hear that, what Shawndell rolled out and led me into.

That piece, I think that's an excellent concept. In fact, that's one of the things I learned as a leader. I can tell you that. Four different commands, every single command. The phrase that I often repeat it is I wanted people to remember to be positive, proactive, and productive. Nice chamber. Although we're not in a military environment, there are times when.

Yeah, we are. Don't say that we're in a military environment. You know, I'll interrupt him.

You do that out of respect. That was an interruption. Out of respect, Ken.

No, I'm used to it. And actually, I know why he's teasing me. Because if you talk to my staff from time to time, they remind me they're not in the military. But I'm. But again, getting back to your point, anybody that knows me knows that those are some. Those are three key words that I use over and over again, Especially the word proactive.

I love it.

To your point, there's nothing wrong with reinforcing it and repeating it. In fact, I think one of the things I learned in the military, again, I told you I went to the Air Force Academy. There are several quotes that I had to memorize. For example, a quote that said, be an example to your men and your duty in your private life. Never spare yourself and let the troops see that you don't. And your endurance, fatigue and privation. Always be tactful and well mannered and teach your subordinates to be the same. Avoid excessive sharpness or harshness of voice, which usually indicates the man who has shortcomings of his own to hide. I had to repeat that over and over again. But more importantly, I internalized it. And that helped shape the corporate culture, leadership style. And so the point I'm making is it's okay to repeat concepts like that because something's going to resonate with someone depending on their frame of reference or perspective. And. And then ultimately they will internalize a kernel of wisdom, if you will, from you saying it and repeating it.

I love that. I love that. Well said. And that was a good passage. And what were the P's you said? Positive, proactive. Did you say I'm productive?

Yes, I love that. Be proactive, be productive.

People that listen to this, I started.

Every single leadership position that I had, even at the Chamber. In fact, I. I'll tell another one of those Ken Evans stories when I first started at the Chamber, but maybe about a weekend, it was a fourth Friday in September 2013, I rolled that out, and Xavier Peterson, who, by the way, is also former military, he said, okay, Colonel, I knew that was your change of command speech. I said, yes, it was.

No, that's really good. And I love what you said. Those are three powerful P's, for sure. I. I love all those, and I live all those. Here's a cool thing about that to tie in with you. A number of people that know Lisa and I, they'll say, you know, I know you guys are always busy, and I always correct them. I say, you know what? I appreciate that. But really, we're not busy. We're productive.

Yes.

Because there's a big difference between busy.

And productive, Let me tell you. My mother was the person that. And she's responsible for a lot of the things I may repeat from time to time. But my mother zapped me with that one while I was in college and definitely when I initially was on active duty. You know, I call and talk about being busy. And to your point, she course adjusted me one day. She said, hey, you don't want to be busy. You want to be productive. And so, to your point, I incorporated that, in fact, on Facebook recently, I put busy is good, productive is better. And then since we're all in the business, especially small business mode, I said, profitable is best. So I'll repeat that. Busy is good, productive is better. Profitable is best.

I like it. That's solid. Well, that's really good. That's a good share. Shondal, you want to weigh in on that? Then I want to put a leadership piece out there because I want to narrow our focus on some great leadership perspectives. Perspectives. And get your thoughts.

I want to touch on that. I do want to touch on that because that's a perfect phrase to put us in the right mindset as business owners. But I do want to touch on something that Ken said. And you know how we do, Jess? We pivot and we look at. We want people to know Ken Evans, the person, and you heard him say his mother. Now, I talk to Ken probably every day, maybe three times a day, because we, you know, we dialogue a lot about the Chamber. We both vent to one another. We both have conversations. But one of the things is, you know, I talk A lot about my dad and him being an inspiration in my life and what he's. What he shaped me to be.

That's right.

My mom was really the spiritual side of me is. That's where I get that from. Evangelist Helen Newsom, Brooklyn, New York. You know, but Ken will tell you that he and I have deep conversations. And those of you that are listening, I want you to understand where we're coming from, because Ken also believes that we do need more male leadership. Male leadership in the homes. We need men to be leaders. We need men. Especially in these times, we need men to be leaders in their household. Just like you are, Jesse. Just like I am. And Ken said his mom told him something that was profound. And I'm giving this reference because a lot of single moms that I've known and I've heard this over and over again have said, well, I did it. I was a single mom, so why can't the other girls do it? Which actually keeps the cycle going where these young women feel like they don't need men, and it really is a bad thing for our community and for our world. So, Ken, I want you to just touch on that a little bit, because you gave me some things that your mom told you and said to your brother that was very important.

And do me a favor, Shondale. Ken, I want you to honor Shaundell's request, but I want to slide in on something on this timing wise to tag team with you guys, because I love what both of you are saying about your mothers. A lot of people, when they see strong, powerful, successful men, they always, always think that our leadership was pivoted from another man. And both of you brought women in. So I want to bring this in. I want to say that my first four role models in life were all women. My aunt Helen, my aunt Viola, my grandmother. And I didn't realize until the last four years of my mother's life. She, too, was one of my first role models, although I didn't know it growing up. And so actually, when I look at my role models, what helped shape my leadership, it came from them. My grandmother in Mississippi was a seamstress in Mississippi in the 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s. My grandmother. My father had eight kids. My grandmother saved money as a seamstress. I'm talking less than a dollar an hour she's making. And she put aside money for a kid to go to college. And I happen to be the only person. Well, back up. The first person in my family on my mother's side, and My father's side to graduate with a college degree. My grandmother in Mississippi saved money so that I would go to college. How did she pick me as a baby out of eight kids? She only did it for one.

According to Lawrence Weekly, you were the same way as a baby. You probably came out.

That's too fun. That's pretty good. You're right. If Lawrence is listening to this, he's laughing his butt off at that. Because he does. That is his conviction. But I want to bring back to this. The female leadership is a powerful leadership, too. It's not just. I think males get dominance in terms of leadership if you're not watching closely. But I love the fact that you brought up your mother and her influence. I love that kids have already shared more about the influence of his mother. I love that people listening to this. My mother in law listening to this in Salt Lake City, Utah. Porter, I never told her. She doesn't realize that my first four role models were women. And that's why I have such a great rhythm and touch in connecting with women, because I understand them very well. I grew up with them from a kid and stayed close. So, Ken, go ahead and share your story that Shondale passed off to you about the influence of your mother.

Yeah, my mother definitely was a major role model for me and she did get some support by my grandmother. You understand why in a few minutes. Those that have not heard grew up originally from Los Angeles, California. So my mom was raising. I have a twin brother and a younger brother, four years younger. My mom was raising three boys in the middle of Los Angeles. No father. In fact, my father was never in the picture.

Wow.

So I come from one of those traditional social economics challenging environments where we were supposed to be statistics. But my mother said early on I knew when I had three black boys in America that I was going to have to prepare them to compete and succeed and achieve. So that demanded a certain approach on her part. So to that end, she stressed education and excellence. She said, in America, education is the great equalizer. So she pushed that got us to stay focused on excellence, regardless of what's going on. And then I've already shared with you, going to the Air Force Academy, getting a civil engineering degree. In fact, I was one of 60 graduates, I think in my class, one of two African American males to graduate with a civil engineering degree in my class.

Wow, that's big.

And so I've had to go through life being comfortable, being uncomfortable. Whether I was uncomfortable because I was in an environment where there weren't too many other people that look like me or came from my background or whether I was uncomfortable because I was going through similar challenges that anyone may face. So, again, my mother prepared us for that. But the point that Shondale always likes me to bring out is once I got older and as an adult, my mother became my best friend.

Nice.

We fought like cats and dogs when we were under the same roof. But over the course of time, we became best friends. One thing she shared with me is from time to time, she would tell us and tell me in particular, if she had it all to do over again, she would have definitely appreciated having a partner there or someone to share the load with. So I really appreciate the fact that she never denigrated my father. She just let us draw our own opinion. And needless to say, I can tell you we drew our own opinions of him not being there. It's the reason why I'm so hard about men fulfilling their obligations. Regardless of how you feel about your significant other or the other individual, take care of your children. I'm uncompromising about that because of my own experience. But again, the point I want to make is that something she shared with me is that as African Americans, we need to make sure that as men, we're there. I mean, for example, my younger brother went down the path where he had a boy his freshman year in college, and it kind of after his first semester, kind of messed things up, his timetable up. So he goes home to Sacramento. He was going to Baton Rouge Southern University goes home. And my mom made it very clear to him. She gave him a couple of weeks to kind of clear his head, think through things. And she basically told him, look, you don't live here anymore. Your obligations are down there. So she made it very clear that he needed to get his stuff together and take his butt back down to Baton Rouge and fulfill his obligations. So that's definitely something that is important to me. And Shondell and I have discussed it. And then the other leadership thing that I want to touch on very quickly is I think one of the reasons why I interact very well and I'm not threatened like some men are by strong woman leaders, is because my mom was a strong leader.

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. And so, so, too, so, too was my grandmother in Mississippi, J.D.B. smith. In fact, same thing with my grandmother and Reno Manell Huddleston, and. And same thing with the women that I told you about as well. So I totally agree with that. And I. This is. This again, this conversation about. Is where leaders focus during times of disruption. That's the name of this. So we're talking about that. And these stories that we're sharing are germane to that point. And Lisa just walked in. I was gonna make another point, but Lisa just walked in, so she's gonna share something with us.

Brandon Ward, what struggles did Ken not have? Did Ken have not having his father in his life? And where did he seek the male influence?

Okay, so. Okay, good.

First of all, in terms of some of the struggles I mentioned, my father was never there. So the first struggle I had to work through was a sense of abandonment. And that sense of abandonment led to hate on my part. I mean, I'll tell you right now, when I was in elementary school, imagine being 10, 11 years old and having nightmares about killing your father.

Wow.

You can probably hear the passion in my voice even now. I used to have nightmares about killing my father because of that abandonment. And I can tell you the reason why I'm so big on mental health and shouts out to Denise Domingo. Not sure if she's watching or not, but I'm a big proponent of counseling and mental health. And I know sometimes in the African American community, historically, that's been something that we shied away from, but 100%.

Well, not only shied away from it, Kim, we don't even talk about it, let alone go to some professional. I won't even talk about it amongst ourselves. And by the way, the same thing you experienced, Chris Brown, that. The amazing performer and singer, he had visions of killing his father, too, which. Which is how he erupted with. What was her name? Rihanna, which is why he got so crazy with her, because he was mimicking what he'd seen, and he wanted to. He felt like he wanted to kill his father as a kid. He used to envision that. I just recently saw that. So you bring that up as huge. People need to understand that when you have those kind of visions inside of you, it eats at you and that hate and just. It's destroying you more than it's destroying the person that you're hating.

Yeah. And that's why. And that's why I always say, Jess, that's why I appreciate what my mom. My mom. So my father served in Vietnam. So my first five years of my life was my father was over in Thailand or in different parts of the country of the world fighting that war. So the first five years. But the rest of my life, my father was there, and. And he immediately made an impact. So To Ken's point, you know, we always talk about this because when people keep saying, where's the lack of leadership? Or where. Where are we missing leadership? Especially when they're coming to us. And they always come to us with, where's the black leadership? And we say it's the male in the household. And that's. That, that's, that's factual. Because a third of the households in the United States are fatherless. And the African American community goes to 78%. That is a tragedy in itself.

Good point. Good point.

Chris Brown is brilliant. The kid is brilliant. He's a great singer, great dancer, looks like a great kid. But that single moment, and I saw the same thing with Terrell Owens and a lot of other people. That could derail you.

What do you mean could derail you? It did really. It put him in jail for the very first time. And he explained what that experience was like. And that was a wake up call for him. It was huge. Huge for that. Probably tragic. As difficult, as hard as that is, that was probably the best thing to give him a wake up call so he snap out of that behavior and start getting like Ken is saying, the counseling and the support and the psychologist to help him get his mind back in a good place. Lisa, is there something else you want to have so we can. You want to share? So before I jump on the leadership.

Piece, the second part to that question is how did he overcome it and where does he still lack not having that role? Did it cross over into fatherhood and influence?

So that's like 40 questions Brandon's given us. So Brandon's cool that way. But that's 40. Let's back up down to the first. Give us the first one.

How did he overcome this?

How did you overcome it, Ken? Oh, did we lose him? We did. We lost Ken. He went away.

Oh, boy.

You know what, Brandon?

You.

You pissed Ken off. Let me see if I can get him back. Hold on, let's see. Hold on. No offense, Brandon, but let's see. Can I bring him back in? He is not there. Okay. He's gonna probably pop back on shortly. Something may probably happen with this Internet. Not sure. But while he's away, I want to switch over. At least remind us to come back to that because I don't see Ken is no longer with us. I want to come back and hopefully he can hear us because if he doesn't, it's not going to work so well. But I wanted to say this. Shawnda talking about leadership. Let's talk about the Pure points of leadership. John C. Maxwell, I'm going to read this, defines leadership as a leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way, which is basically what you said. That's the same thing you say. You just said it differently. Irrespective of how you define a leader, he or she can prove to be a difference maker between success and failure. A good leader has a futuristic vision and knows how to turn his ideas into real world success stories. That's what John C. Maxwell talked about as a leadership. Just share any, just share your thoughts about anything I just said about what his definition of a leadership is.

Well, I think leadership is like they say, showing the way, knowing the way. And here, here's the thing that in order for you to know the way, you have to pay attention and listen and gain wisdom. Right. So you, you, you can't, you can't think. You know it all. So going back to that point that Ken said, I myself went through counseling, as you know, for six months when, when, when I was thrust upon being a single father.

Right.

That point, even though I was in the Air Force and I took a lot of leadership classes that gave me the practical application of leadership. I had to take care of those kids, do what I had to do, but I had to listen to others on parental. How to be a great parent. Shonda, how to organize everything so that you can be good for these, for these young people. How do you deal with other people? How do you know? Leadership is really, to me, paying attention to people who are smarter than you and applying those lessons and wisdom to whatever situation you're in.

Yes. And don't let, I'm sorry, Shawndillon. Don't let your challenges and your losses paint you. Let. When you lose in life going along the way, everybody has ups and downs, everyone has peaks and valleys. And that does happen. And so. Hold on one second, let me. Looks like Ken is back in. Let me see if I can let him back in. And I'm going to make a point about what you just said. I'll just pivot off your point and he'll come back in in a second. Talking about, you know, people that lose. People see leaders like celebrities and famous people and politicians and so forth, and they think that they have no problems and no challenges. I watched a piece on Miles Davis, the jazz musician, and it was, it was really amazing. Here's a guy with this hugely amazing talent and he goes to France and he goes to France for a few years and he, and he loves it there. Because he, there's. He said they loved him, they embraced him. He loved the food, he loved the people. He fell in love with a woman and blah, blah, blah, blah, and all this kind of stuff. Well, something happened. They didn't talk about that in the documentary, but then he came back home. He came back home because he came back home to an oppressive society. Follow. His father was a second wealthiest person in Illinois at the time. He was a dentist and also owned a farm. And so he came back home and the oppression and how people were treated, that looked like him. He felt horrible about that. So he went into depression, he got into drugs, then he became a heroin addict. Wow. His father, after a number of years, came to one of the joints he was playing in, snatched him off the stage, left his horn right there, said, you're coming home with me. He promised his father he's gonna get off drugs. He didn't.

He.

After nine days, he popped back on, went through another spell of that, and all of a sudden he found a way to just rid himself of all that. But a lot of people think that when you, when you think of a Michael Jackson or Diana Ross or any famous superstar, Robert De Niro, you know, Ben Affleck, any famous superstar, people think that they've had it all great. They don't. They have, they have the same life challenges that we do. They're just on the celebrity stage.

Yeah.

So we have to get over those. We have to get over those quickly, right?

Yes. In a fishbowl. It's in to some extent. So. And one of my greatest leaders, if you will, would be, you know, in addition to my father, would be my father in law. And I'll tell you, he didn't, he wasn't, he wasn't a celebrity. He wasn't elected official. He just basically raised his nine children. He ran two businesses. He, he had a lot. Landscaping business, a lawn service and he had a. Any clean pawn shops. So to me, that's the leader. That's a guy who says, I am going to take care of this family, I am going to raise. And all of her siblings, most of her siblings, they're all emulating those behaviors. And that's my whole point. Leadership is not necessarily. You're in the public eye. Has to happen when nobody's watching too.

That's exactly right. Well said. And so again, our title is where leaders focus during times of Disruption. And I want to talk about three quick tips. I think Ken is attempting to get in. I'm admitting him, but he's not it's not allowing him in for some reason. I'll keep doing that, but I want to keep going with this so the people listening don't have a loss in all of this. And if Ken can come back on, we'll love that. But talking about where leaders focus during times of disruption, and there are three key areas, there are many, but there are three that I want to share. Number one, self reflection. Okay. Tell the truth about yourself, look in the mirror. Do practice what we call mirror economics. Look into that mirror and see what you see and look at your strengths and limitations. Find ways to elevate those strengths and, and blow out those limitations.

Okay, yeah.

Point number two is prioritize, prioritize so that, so that there's a prioritization of well being amid this disruption. What needs to happen first most often and consistently, that's what you want to do. Number two. And number three, establish hope. We must establish hope during times of disruption. Yes, focus on that. Because when people lose hope, they lose desire. When they lose desire, they lose care. When they lose care, they lose energy. When they lose energy, they're flat. Tell me what you think about what I just said, Shonda.

Well, you know, it is the biggest thing and I share this with my sons and Brandon is somebody I talk to a lot too. So Brandon heard this many times. For me, self reflection is the hardest thing for men to do.

Yes, yes, I agree.

Very difficult for us to say, hey, let me take a look at myself. And I saw my friend Guy Martin chimed in. He said, real man can admit when he's wrong. And a real man can look at himself and say, this, this is where I went wrong. Let me correct it. And they can apologize. So there are some things that I've heard, you know, where men have. Is one thing that I always said, have pride, but don't be prideful.

I like it. I like it.

Okay. You have to be proud of yourself. You have to be proud of who you are. But don't be prideful where you're forgetting that you have to look at yourself first. The other thing is when you focus on the things and you got to do this quickly, you can't be sitting back and staying in this space for a long time. You got to focus, look at yourself. Then you got to look at the most immediate and immediate needs and prioritize based on whatever system you utilize. Prioritize. Then what I call, you know, focusing later on is looking at, okay, now that we've looked at what I can, who I am and what I Need to be. And then we look at our prioritization. Now we have to move quickly to hope.

Exactly. That's. That's right. So well said. I'm glad you backed into that. Ken is back. Thanks. Thanks for coming back on Ken. Did you hear any of that or did the technical difficulties cut you out on that?

The technical difficulties cut me out. So I apologize for that. And, and let me get the teasing out the way. Something about my Android. So all the iPhone users out there will be teasing me about those technical difficulties.

I won't go there. I won't go there. I'll let you off. I'll bring you in, Ken. So make your point. I'll bring you into where we're at.

Actually, what I can do is I wanted to finish up, I started the story. Brandon had asked the question, what were some of the challenges and how did I deal with it?

How did you overcome them?

Yes, well, very quickly. What I was talking about is the fact that when I was in the seventh grade, it took not one but two counselors to get me to break through that deeply rooted hatred that was very self destructive and get me to a point where I could be normal, quote, unquote, as normal as you can be considering what I had gone through up to that point. But as soon as I did get to that point where I just accepted the fact that yeah, I had some challenges but it was time to focus on my personal development and ultimately eventually my professional development, you know, things were a lot better. What I would say is what got me through it is also something that can get us all through what's going on right now. If you're focused on a mission and in this case if your mission is self improvement, whether it be personal development or professional development, if you're focused on a vision and a mission or a common focus, that will take your mind off the challenges, it will help you overcome the challenges. Because after a while, the bottom line is you're prepared to do whatever necessary to improve your situation. That's what you stay focused on.

Right. And you just dovetail right into the part when you, when you stepped off for a second. And Shonda and I talked about, we talked about three major tips that could help people. And the tip number one was self reflection and tell the truth about yourself. Focus on your strengths and raising them and getting rid of those limitations. What you just said, you know, personal development, personal professional development. Number two, prioritize your well being. So prioritize so that you can adapt amid this disruption. Essentially you said that in different words. And then finally establish hope. And that's where we're at. So really good. Thank you for that. Ken and Lisa did it. Was there one more thing that Brandon said that we can do? I want to keep us moving on this. I know that it's a little bit of a shift.

Let's see. I did have some. Something from someone else I'd like to share. Walker Smith leadership.

So hold on, Lisa. Lisa's gonna switch tracks from Brandon over to Walker.

Yes.

Leadership is a higher calling to service. And you can leave. You can't leave where you have not gone or can't go.

Leadership is a higher caller for higher service. That's what he's saying, correct? Yes, I agree. Say it, Ken.

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. In fact, there's a term that I use. It's not unique to me, but it's very important to me. I talk about servant leadership, and what that means is, yes, quote, unquote, you're in charge or you're responsible or you have authority. But at the end of the day, if you're a good leader, from my definition, you're there to serve your people, and you're there to serve them by positioning them so that they can achieve their personal development, their professional development for the greater good of the organization. What I like to do is create what I call mutually beneficial relationships. And what that means is. And this takes time to do. And I'll go back to another point you made about there's no cookie cutter to leadership or one size fits all. There's situational leadership, which says you pay attention to the individual, the organization, and govern yourself accordingly. But coming back to mutually beneficial relationships, that takes a lot of time, especially the larger organization. But what I can tell you is if as a leader, people know that you care about them, you care about their personal development plus their professional development, they will focus on the mission or the vision or where you're trying to go. And quite often, they'll take it to levels that you never could have imagined just trying to do it by yourself.

Well said. That's so huge and that you just gave me a tip thinking about yourself. And Shondell and I, we were on that call, the Breakfast Club call yesterday, and when Lisa and I offered the Breakthrough success plan, we did that. Such working with you and Shondell to really chisel that down to get that as super, super, super affordable as it was. We got some great feedback from that. And that is we putting that program out there so that people can do exactly what you said use the power of the village to learn how to level up their game. Right now when things are so slow down outside of here, let's focus on you and that whole three pillar campaign, focusing on your signature, who you are and focusing on leadership development and focus on how to help them learn how to create opportunities and those three major pillars as part of that offering. That was very, very huge. Right. Shaundel, you have some great feedback. Real quickly, Shaundell, if you can, because I'm not sure if you spoke to Ken and those listening. I know we don't have a lot of time left, but just share briefly. Shaundell, metamorphosize some of those. The feedback you got as a result of that special one hour zoom virtual program we did yesterday.

Yeah. Well, overall, everybody loved the fact, number one, that we were focusing on their personal development, their professional development. They love it. They love that the focus is on them because right now the focus is on everything else.

Right, right.

And they also love the fact that the tips and the words of wisdom that was coming and the transparency.

Yes.

I think getting there was a lot of transparent discussions.

100%.

What they liked about you in particular, Jess, was that they felt like even though you've been doing this for a very, very long time, you also talk about your failures and you talk about the lessons you've learned.

That's right.

Hey, here, listen to Jesse. I'm the wizard. It's a, you know, and I got all the big books behind me. I'm the smart guy.

Ken, that was a dig. Just so you know. Ken, that was a big all the time.

I'm used to it.

But he's right, but he's right though, because look at all these books back here. Yes, I've read all these books and plenty of books you can't even read. Brian Tracy. Brian Tracy, Mr. Smarty Pants. So let me defend myself. Mr. Smarty Pants. Brian Tracy. We talk about diversity. There's many. I've got the Brian Tracy, I got Marianne Williams has been a great influence. I've got Feelings Buried Alive by Carol Truman as one of the books. Henry Lewin of the days of the hospitality days of the Hilton back in the day. And Larry Lewin, Louis Gosser Jr. The actor who also wrote the Four to Our Book how youw Leave Them Feeling. And Brian Tracy, he taught me something when I was at the lowest point of my life ever. And Brian Tracy said, if you will read an hour, Mr. Smarty Pants, this is for you. I know you do. Brian Tracy said, if you will Read an hour a day in your field of study. You will become an expert in your field in five years. And I thought, what? Are you serious? I had been through college twice and vowed I was never going to read another book in my life, right until Brian Tracy said that. I met Brian Tracy. I was at a leadership conference for 4,000 people. There I stood in the line of 500 people to meet him. When I went to shake his hand, I thought, I want to say something authentic. I want to say something real. So I shook his hand And I said, Mr. Tracy, I said, you've done more for me in your first chapter of Action Strategies for Personal Achievement than multiple college degrees.

Yeah.

And you know what he said? Know what he said to me, Ken? Guess what he said to me? He said, tell me more. He got 500 people lined up to meet him. He wants money to tell I don't have any more. It took me 300 people in front of me to think of what I was going to say to the guy. But then he sent me this book. And this is what he says. He says, jess, and this is dated August 4, 2004. It was a real pleasure meeting you. You are a great inspiration. Keep up the great work. Kind regards, Brian Tracy.

Yeah.

This. I mean, come on. So your thoughts, Ken?

Yeah. My first immediate thought is this. I'm glad you're making the point about the importance of reading, because what it goes back to is a combination of personal and professional development. And what I want to share with leaders is leadership is a craft, the same way people approach being a musician or any other profession, you know, athletics, whatever it is. Leadership is a craft, too. And for me, it's important to study leadership. So to your point, part of how I arrived at where I am now is I'm not a 25 year overnight success.

Thank you.

Harvard has been experienced, but part of it has been consciously reading and continuing to read. I'm a student of leadership, both good and not so good leaders. I really appreciate what you just said about the importance of reading an hour a day. I probably read leadership articles or watch videos about leaders or what they're doing, probably at least an hour a day, and then have conversations with other individuals. So I'm glad you brought that point up.

And let me tell you, I don't.

Want people to take leadership for granted.

No, and two things on what you said, Ken, you're spot on. Not only do we do the reading, then we seek, as Shondell does, we seek to adapt and share those powerful leadership messages that we read. We don't just read. So we're smart people, like Chandel says. So I don't have all these books behind me, try to prove how smart I am. That's not the point. The point is to get the knowledge, internalize that knowledge, live that knowledge and share that knowledge. So in fact, John, John Maxwell said it best to me. In a word, if you define leadership in a single word for me, and I love this, I got this from John Maxwell. Leadership in a word is influence. Yeah, Shonda's ability. I've seen Shondale. I see how you've influenced, I don't know, all of your family, but if the rest of your family is as influenced as Tiara is, you've done your job. And that was your strong leadership influencing them to become better people, better parents, better leaders themselves. Your thoughts?

Well, you know, it's one of those things where you plant the seed and then, you know, you put soil over it and then you keep watering. And so many people seek advice and seek wisdom. I just feel like I have, I have an obligation to pay it forward where many people have done it for me. And you probably know or don't know these folks, but you know, Reverend Jesse Scott was one of my mentors. He was very influential in the community. He talked about voting. He talked about your responsibility as a Christian.

You.

He talked about my responsibility as a black man. So he, he was one of those people. Being away from my father in New York, he was one of those people. Another person was Sam Smith. Sam Smith Native Son Bookstore. When I got to Vegas, I went to his store. I picked up two books. One was Papers in African Psychology and the other one was Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. So I got those two books from Sam Smith's store and he said, he said, and you got, Ken knows them. So he knows, boy, what you reading this book for? You know, something about this, you know, and I never forget that. The thing he was telling me was, if you stay on this path, you're going to be leading. Now I was in the Air Force, I was a two striper or maybe get putting on my third stripe. But he was, he was telling me, if you stay on this path of reading and studying, I know you're going to be influential in this community. And I'm saying, dude, I'm not even gonna stay here more than four years, right? Like, I didn't think I was gonna be in Vegas. But then later on when I was at stations, I, you know, I kept going back to Sam's store and Sam said, what did I tell you? And Ken knows this. He'll do that to you. What did I tell you, boy? What did I tell you? You so smart. What did I tell you? And then when I end up staying here and doing my business, he like news.

What did I tell you?

One of those things that you. I never just. I didn't ask for this. I didn't even want to go to the Chamber. I didn't want to leave the Chamber of Commerce. I wanted to run my business, make some money, and do what I need to do for my family.

You didn't find the Chamber. The Chamber found you.

Chamber found me. And I say, more importantly, God puts me in very uncomfortable position. Challenge the stuff that I read and the stuff that I learned, and. And he says to me, you know what? Now is where you're going to apply all that stuff you read.

I love it. I love it. Shonda, we say it like this. You're on the path. You were on the divine path. Whatever. Whatever people's belief system is. Maybe they don't believe in God. Maybe they do. Maybe they believe in the Big Bang theory, the power of the universe, whatever it is. You are on your divine path. And you do. Like we say, everything we do is on purpose because we know our purpose.

Yeah.

We are living our purpose. And everything I do is on purpose because I know my purpose.

Let me tell you what you pointed out. That I'll tell you. What's important is the most important thing to me at the Chamber. And Ken knows this is not necessarily all. It's not the luncheons, the gatherings, the things like that. It's the development of somebody like Delisa watching. Somebody like Delista.

I like it.

She doesn't even mind us telling it. Telling. This teenage parent came through, came to our Chamber as a. As a. As a. From a welfare program. Now she's leading the Chamber.

Nice.

That's where I get my. That's where I feel like we're winning.

And that's what you call influence.

Yes.

You influenced her life, and she's influenced another's life. So. So, Chandelle, tell us, where can people find you if they want to connect with you, hear more about what you're. What you're up to and so forth.

No, I'm always available on Facebook, naturally, and Instagram, Twitter, Shondell, Newsom, LinkedIn. Hit me up.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Ken, where can people find you if they want to get in touch with this wisdom and intelligence and leadership and this influence that you have?

Well, being the Steady, consistent person that I am, whether it's on Facebook, Instagram, it's Ken Evans 585. Ken Evans 585 for you people that play online chess and Words with Friends. Same username, but yes, I'm on social media, Instagram, Ken Evans585. Awesome. I welcome it.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Well, you can reach us at jestalk J-E-S-S-T a l k dot com. Find out a lot there. Lisa is profoundly awesome on social media. You can get Lisa Bybee Farrell or Lisa Farrell on, well, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, all those places. So that's where you can get in touch with us. We would love to hear from you. You can also go to Brothers and Conversations and please subscribe. If you're listening to this, you'd like to please subscribe to this. We want to grow this membership so that all of us here on this call can do powerful things and bring powerful people to people that need it. Sometimes just hearing the right word at the right time can be the difference maker. Can talk. It literally can talk the gun out of someone's mouth by hearing the right word at the right time.

Yep.

I'm serious, because that literally has happened with people that I know all of us have shared conversation with. And so this program where leaders focus during times of disruption has been very, very powerful. Ken, as we close this out, briefly tell us, what do you take away about engaging in this amazing conversation? We really appreciate having you as a special guest on here. What is your biggest aha or good feeling moment from this program today?

I would say it's the chance to share the importance of leadership, especially at critical times. And just remind people, especially those in leadership positions, don't take it for granted. And it's not about you. It's about being a servant leader and taking care of the people you're responsible for.

I love it. That's awesome. That's good. Thank you for that. What about you, Shonda? What did you like best about today's program?

Well, I like what the Colonel said, you know, that was, that's perfect, is like, hey, be a good servant and then you'll be a great leader.

Okay. Awesome, awesome, awesome. What I liked was connecting with intelligent. Two intelligent individuals that are have great big hearts and they do care. You both do care about serving others. And I'm hoping that the people listening or watching this can sense and feel that as well. That closes this broadcast. Thank you very much for tuning in.

Sa.