Jim Ebbelaar argues that forced discipline backfires, especially for people with ADHD. Instead of willpower, he found that hyperfocus on something you're genuinely obsessed with turns work into automatic, addictive flow. Once you see early results, the activity sustains itself.
All right, so I can honestly say that I am extremely productive, but it has nothing to do with discipline. In this video, I will share you the number one thing that have helped me to finally get things done. My name is Jim Ebbelaar, I run 3 successful companies, and one of them is ADHD Harmony, which is the number one free school community. Now, for years I was procrastinating. I struggled with follow-through on everything from workouts to diets to business to being productive in general. I just failed at it. Now, what have actually helped me? And again, it has nothing to do with discipline. You know, the funny thing is actually that trying to be more disciplined actually resulted into the opposite. And the reason why— what is the reason why? Well, first of all, what is discipline? So discipline is basically self-control. It is the ability to follow through when you don't feel like it. When you basically— it's forcing. Now, what I have I learned is that what really works is finding something that you are so obsessed about that it actually pulls you. And that is what I did with my life. And now I am able to follow through. I'm able to get things done. But of course, it isn't that simple. So first, let me tell a little bit about why discipline fails you, especially if you're wired differently, especially if you have some of the ADHD traits. So first of all, back to maybe school, back to your first jobs, back to maybe your family dynamics. If you're someone with ADHD, or just wired differently, you probably have a lot of limiting beliefs around being lazy, around not being able to follow through, around not being able to be disciplined. So as soon as you hear that word, you already start, oh wait, well, that is not me. And this is something that you might even be aware of. So for me, this was at an unconscious level, but I really find out that I just— my self-image basically was so broken that I just didn't believe in myself. So as soon as I had to force things, I was able to keep up for a couple of days. And maybe that is something you recognize. Whenever you start something new, there's like a lot of novelty, excitement, which brings you the dopamine, and then you want to go all in. And then after a couple of days, the dopamine fades and you start to doubt that new thing that you're doing, whether that's a workout routine, whether that's a diet, whether that's starting a new company. It can literally be anything. And then after a couple of weeks, you basically just forget about the entire thing and you're just completely abandoned it. So what have actually helped me to step out of this cycle? So first of all, I want you to know that yes, whenever you do something new and it requires a little bit of effort, it can be challenging. But what you really should realize that in the long term, honestly, it doesn't require any form of discipline. And I can honestly say that I work out every single day now. I basically get anxious if I'm not able to work on my business because I am obsessed with the stuff that I'm doing. I basically enter flow state and it pulls me towards it so it all goes automatically. So instead of having myself to force to sit down and do the work, no, I get pulled towards it because it became that obsession. So instead of focusing on discipline, I want you to find that thing that actually gives you the excitement, that lights you up and it brings you the obsession. Because if you're someone higher up on the ADHD spectrum, you have the ability to hyperfocus. You can— let me know if this goes for you. So there are moments in life where you were sitting there and you forgot to eat, you forgot to go to the toilet because you were so sucked into something that actually kept your attention throughout the entire day. Isn't that true? Haven't you got that thing? So that actually on itself already proves that you are able to follow through, that you are able to focus. So it is just about finding the thing that you can do on a daily basis that lights you up in that way. And of course this is challenging, so I'm not saying this is easy. And yes, whenever you start something new, there still will be moments of doubt, there still will be moments of, okay, maybe this isn't right for me. And then it's a little bit about still following through. But also realizing that if you take a little bit of pain up front, if you just sit with that, as soon as you get in those rewards, you get those first results, you see your body transforming when you're working out, or you get in those first clients, that is when you actually transform that thing that maybe requires a little bit of discipline, but then it starts to become this obsession and you almost get addicted to it and it starts to flow naturally. But unfortunately, so many of us never get to experience that point because we just go to school and then we get a normal job. And if this is not aligned, it will always feel like you have to work extremely hard to get what you want. But honestly, I don't feel like I'm doing any kind of work. Like, I can honestly say that I, again, I go to the gym every day, I run those businesses, and it's— yes, there are days where it's not easy. I'm not going to pretend that it's all just coming natural to me, no, I still have to put in some work. But it really doesn't require any form of self-control, which is the definition of like discipline. So that is what I want you to know and what I want you to take away from this. Now, how can you actually learn to find your obsession and get maybe your work or your thing that actually lights you up in this way so that you can also start to follow up, follow through naturally? Now, if you want to find your obsession and learn to follow through, check out the link in the bio to School ADHD Harmony and join the free challenge. I would love to see you there. Now, if you like this video, please like the video, subscribe to the channel, and I would love to see you in the next video. Bye!
