Bouncing Back From Mistakes

There we go. Everyone. Welcome to today's program yourself Thin Podcast. Today we are talking about bouncing back from mistakes. And if you're gonna lose weight, if you're gonna live your goal weight, you're gonna have to learn how to do this because you're gonna make mistakes. Right? Right. Gotta understand that. So before we get into how to bounce back, let's just talk about bouncing back, because I think a lot of people start their weight loss journey, think like a dieter, and you're not going to make any mistakes. You're just going to be perfect, and you're going to ride that perfection out until your goal weight. And so the first step in bouncing back from mistakes is to anticipate and accept and acknowledge that you're going to make them in the first place. Right. So that when the mistake happens, you're not completely devastated. Oh, God. Right. We need to recognize mistakes are part of the process. Right? You can't. You. You can't be perfect and learn at the same time, and you can't be perfect. So we've got to learn from the mistakes we make. We have to recognize they're a natural part of the process of learning, growing, evolving, becoming a better version of ourselves. And so when the mistake happens, we're not, you know, devastated by it. We're ready for it. Okay? And so that's the first step. And I know sometimes that's a harder thing for people to swallow than others because they're impatient, you know? So again, I got to acknowledge the impatience piece and say that, you know, this isn't just about losing weight as quick as possible. It's about living at your goal weight for as long as you can. And when you start to shift that perspective, it also makes it easier to absorb the mistakes. Okay? But that being said, now you make a mistake, you got the nice mindset, you're ready for it, you're anticipating it, the mistake happens. So what do you do to get yourself back on track? I think the first thing is to recognize that a lot of times when mistakes happen, it's when we're depleted. Okay. So, you know, maybe you've dieted great for four days, you know, and now you're kind of tired, though, because dieting is hard, right? Changing your behavior is hard. And so you burn through a lot of energy, and you get four days into it. Now you're kind of tired. The cookies are there, and you. You eat some of them, okay? And so your brain says, oh, my God, I blew it. But did you? Because if you look back and we say, okay, five days, four days, I no cookies. One day I ate one cookie, you know, or some cookies. And that's four days less of not eating cookies than I've had in a long time. So that's another piece, kind of reframing it, because our brain tends to fixate and zoom in on the problem and kind of obsess on that. But if you zoom out and look at the accomplishments that you've made and the improvements you've made over the previous time period, sometimes that puts things more in perspective. And so once you realize you made a mistake and you realize a lot of times it's happened because you're kind of depleted, you're tired, you're bored, you're struggling with sticking to the plan, the next piece of the whole thing is to realize that you can make small steps back to where you were. So again, when we jump into a plan, when dieters jump into a diet, they jump in a hundred percent. Doing anything at a hundred percent starting tomorrow for the foreseeable future, is always going to be an intense experience. Okay? So we want to realize that you. Yeah, if we can be all right, because dieters are all or nothing. And so, yeah, if we can be all great. But most of the time, people can't be all, all the time for long. And so we need to have some something strategy. So program yourself in is an all or something strategy as opposed to all or nothing. And so if we get off track or we make a mistake, instead of feeling like we've fallen off a cliff, we have to jump all the way or climb all the way back up the cliff. We can realize that there's little base camps along the way. Okay, so I've been eating. Let's just go with keto. We'll say I'm doing keto and I haven't eaten any carbs in four days, Right. Fifth day I eat a bag of cookies. Right? So the first thing I remember is that maybe the next day jumping 100% back into no carbs might be hard, Right? And again, if you can do it, do it, go ahead. But if you find that you're struggling to get back to no carbs at all, have some mild points along the way. For example, well, I'm still going to go for my walk. I'm still going to make sure I drink my water. I'm still going to make sure that I'm getting the right sleep. I'm still going to eat. I'm keto. As I was going to say, I was still gonna eat some fruit. But, you know, I know some of you keto people won't do that, but. But again, what we want to do is, I'm saying is, we want to break it up. We don't want to just be all or nothing. All or nothing is a terrible strategy, especially when you get three, four, five days a week, two weeks in, and you start getting wobbly. So again, what most people think is they give themselves a black or white all or nothing strategy, that that's your choices. And they either have to be 100 in or they're not doing it at all. Please start filling in that middle area. That's the secret. Because sometimes you are genuinely depleted. You're just tired, you're exhausted. It's hard to be perfect, be all, everything right when you're exhausted. So we've got to acknowledge that, you know, and stop pretending that we can just, you know, be perfect no matter what the situation. I always use the example that dieters are like, they're like running a marathon, but they're running it like a sprint. They're sprinters in a marathon, meaning that they just, you know, imagine you're running a marathon and the gun goes off and you just sprint it, right? And you're out, way out front for the first eighth of a mile, and you're convinced yourself, look, I'm winning, I'm winning, I'm winning the next eighth of a mile. You completely, you know, pass out and don't finish the race. But you're just so fixed on the first part. So as you zoom out and look at the weight loss process, you'll start to notice that you go through the same pattern all the time, where you jump into something 100% do it perfectly. And the second a mistake makes, you're completely done with it now. So you need to change that and you need to have little things you can do again. You got yourself right back on track, great. But if you can't get yourself right back on track, stay in the game by having some other little things. And I just mentioned some ideas, but you can make up your own. Okay, what are some little things you can do? At least feel on track. You don't have to be black or white, live in the gray area. That's the fastest and easiest and most successful way to bounce back from mistakes, is to have some options that fit the situation. Right? So again, it's most. These accidents are happening when we're depleted and tired and exhausted. And so if you're not going to acknowledge the state you're in, you're gonna have a real hard time succeeding. And this is what dieters do all the time. Because they'll say, well, if I'm, if I'm really serious, I'll just be doing, I'm all or nothing, baby. You know, I'm either doing it or I'm not. And most people aren't doing anything most of the time, which is why you get the results they're getting. Okay, so start to see the gray area and start to realize that it doesn't have to just be perfect, you know, you don't have to be perfect to lose weight. You just need to be better. And so it's a lot easier to be better than it is to be perfect, especially when you are depleted. And if you start to acknowledge this and accept this, you'll start to realize that, yes, you can still jump in your plan 100%, but when you start to feel wobbly, when you get off track, you have other alternative points of kind of entry as opposed to just the back the top of the mountain again. Sometimes you don't have the energy to get back to the top of the mountain right away. So we want to have some alternatives there that we can still at least feel like we're on track. Very important. So if you want more kind of this way of thinking, this mindset, click the link in my bio, go to program yourself, then go get the free hypnosis session I made for you, watch the training video I made for you, read the emails I send. I got the circle community coming. You're to have access to Jim AI I, I got so much free stuff coming for you. Make sure you get on my list because I will sending you information about that. And yeah, but once you're on the list, you're, you're in the game. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Any weight loss questions, welcome. Doesn't have to be about mindset, doesn't have to be about program yourself. Then it can be about anything you're dealing with, with weight. I'm happy to help you and I usually can help you because I come at this stuff from a totally different angle. So a lot of times my take on the weight is different than what you normally hear and could be valuable. Michelle says, what's up, Michelle? Michelle says, how do I get rid of feeling vulnerable so I can lose all the weight? Well, that's a great question, I'll tell you that. And I like that question so much because it implies that you have some awareness of the deeper aspects of weight loss. Right? And so a feeling of vulnerability and using weight to protect yourself from the world is extremely common. There's almost. Let me reef. I'm going to back it up a little more that most people weigh what they want because subconsciously they want to be overweight. There's a good percentage of people that literally want to be overweight. I cannot tell you the number of women I have worked with where they have some level of assault trauma in their past. And after that they made the decision that I'm going to be heavier to protect myself from those situations. I mean, it's literally countless for me. So this is a very common thing and I feel like it's very rarely talked about. And this is kind of a good example of what I mean when I talk about the mindset aspect of weight loss, which I think is just so important. This is a perfect example of it. If you feel vulnerable, you know, if you had some negative experience when you were lighter back in the day, you may now feel like being thinner is going to make me more vulnerable and less secure. And it could happen in a mult a number of ways, right? But you really, when you want to lose weight, you want to look at these.

These subtle little feelings there that are almost counterintuitive, right? You almost think, well, oh, if I lose weight, I'm going to feel vulnerable, right? A lot of people won't really think that. Well, why would I do that? I'll feel confident. I'll, you know. But no, because again, you have to understand that if you've been overweight for a while, you know, you certainly think of yourself as an overweight person, but there are reasons that you probably want to be overweight from. Protecting yourself from the world, protecting yourself from men, protecting yourself from feeling vulnerable. You know, these are really common. So, okay, so how do we fix that, though? So again, it's nice that you're even aware of this because once you're aware of something, that's the hardest part is becoming aware. And once you have the awareness, it's not that hard to figure out the solution. Right. So my question to you, Michelle, would be, now again, I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess, Michelle, that you're a smart person. I bet you're an overthinker. I bet you're kind of a type A, ish, perfectionist sort of ish person. I'm going to guess. And I bet you think all the time about this question, but I bet you think about this question like what's wrong with me? How come I feel so vulnerable? Why am I scared to lose the weight? You know, stuff like that. You're trying to understand the problem. Big mistake. There's a time and a place to understand the problem, but that most people, and again, the people I work with that are again, very overthinkery type people, are constantly obsessed with figuring out the problem, but it's a trap. So for you, Michelle, what I would like to go in with is I would like to flip the question around and say, how would you like to feel at your goal weight? Right? So right now you're fixated on being overweight and feeling vulnerable if you lose the weight. But I want to flip it around and say, if you know you got to your goal weight, how do you want to feel? How do you want to feel in your life? And let's go beyond your body and your weight. Okay, let's just talk about Michelle. Who's the best Michelle that you can imagine? Who's the best version of you? So it's not just about your weight. It's not just about your size. It's not just about what you look like. It's about what's going on in the inside. So I want you to imagine a reality where you're at your goal weight, but you're doing it in a way that feels comfortable. You're happy with yourself, you're in the flow, it's natural, it's relatively easy for you to maintain it. You're living this new reality as this new version of you now, this version of you who's at your goal weight in a comfortable, relatively easy way.

How does that you feel in the world? What emotions do you feel day in and day out? What emotions do you want to feel when you're at your best? Right? And so we go the opposite of vulnerable. When you feel courageous, when you feel strong, when you feel proud, when you feel confident, when you feel successful, when you feel a sense of momentum and flow, when you feel centered, calm, at peace, when you feel good about your body, when you feel good about yourself, when you're proud of how you're living and how you're thinking and how you're eating.

That'S what I want to do. Because in program yourself, then we always take your weight loss and rapid and personal development. So I think for you, Michelle, the answer begins by thinking of yourself not at your goal weight, but thinking of yourself as the best version of you possible. And when you think of yourself as the best version you possible, you're thinking about yourself, your goal weight, anyways. Okay, so that's in there. Anyways. We're not ignoring the weight. We're just framing it differently, and we're making this other piece more important because your weight alone is rarely enough motivation for you to get the results you want, folks. You've all think about your weight 24 hours a day. You couldn't wanna lose weight any more than you possibly do, and yet it's not working, you know? And again, this is because humans can get tricked and think they're really, really motivated when they're not. All right? But if you start thinking, Michelle, who's the best version? Who's the best Michelle I can imagine. How do I want to live? What's the best version of me? How do I want to live my life? What kind of relationships do I want? What kind of work do I want to do? How productive do I want to be? Again, whatever is important to you. Start to ask the questions of who do I want to be in my life? How do I want to show up? And then let the weight kind of follow that. And I think that will help you kind of break the pattern a bit of how you're thinking of this now. Again, there's a lot of work to do with what you're saying too, by the way. I don't make it sound like what I'm saying here just cures everything. It's a starting point to start thinking this differently because it's not enough. And this gets to a real important point in my mind, is that it's not enough to just lose weight, because there's usually psychological issues that created the problem in the first place. Almost. I've never not seen that. You know, again, I don't. I don't want to compare it to substance abuse, but there is. There are some parallels. And one of the parallels, I believe, is that, you know, with alcoholism, they say they call them dry drunks and people that just stop drinking but never deal with the underlying issues that caused the. The drinking problem in the first place. Right. And so I think of that with weight loss, I think sometimes to just force yourself to act different, for most people, they're not really getting to the core pieces that caused the problem in the first place. You know, So a lot of that's why in programming yourself, then, we have the goal weight pyramid. We follow mindset lifestyle, eating, and we systematically go through those, you know, so that you start to think, live and eat like a thin, healthy person. But the mindset piece is fundamental. That's why it's at the core, at the foundation of it. And so it's not enough just to think yourself being at your goal weight, because subconsciously, Michelle's been thinking about herself, her goal weight, and then she feels scared. So we want to think about ourselves being the best version of ourselves at our goal weight. Hope that makes sense. So.

So, yeah, but mindset, I mean, I think everything comes down to mindset. Maybe I'm crazy like that. I find it nuts. I don't know how dieters don't think mindset matters. That. That is just shocking to me. But I guess, I don't know, I get people. That's why awareness is so important. People are just profoundly unaware. Like, really profoundly unaware. And I think people don't realize just how unaware they are, which is literally why I get on here every day, you know, because.

Just to kind of open your eyes to something, you never hear this other side of things. You know, when it comes to weight loss, you hear dieting. Dieting and exercising. That's it. So, yeah, when you start to understand the deeper levels of. Of change and transformation, I think that it. It serves the purpose of kind of making you more aware. Right. But, yeah, if anyone's any questions, ask them sometimes. Yeah. Michelle says, powerful and helpful. Thank you. I lost £100 and was afraid to be in public alone. Yeah, I don't know why. I'm very outgoing. Makes. Makes no sense. Oh, man, it makes. I can't tell you the number of times my clients, when I'm coaching, will say, you know, certain behaviors or feelings or emotions don't make any sense. And, you know, it's important to understand. This is why it drives me crazy just in life that people don't learn how their brains work. You know, as a hypnotist, you know, I just look at the mind real simple. There's a conscious mind, a subconscious mind. The conscious part of your mind is a logical, rational part of you. It's your prefrontal cortex. The very logical, rational is where your willpower is trying to. Tries to understand everything, knows what to do, knows why you should do it, tries to get you to do it. Your subconscious mind, though, is the part of your mind that's in control, Right? So prefrontal cortex is about 10% of your brain. So the rest of your brain was referred as a subconscious mind, and that runs all your habitual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. And so I'm gonna guess, Michelle, somewhere back in the day, somewhere in your past, you made the association that being at Your goal weight in public is scary. It puts your security at risk. You're not safe. Whether that was from something real or just imagined really doesn't matter. It just becomes an association. Folks, this is how your mind works. This is how phobias work, right? Phobias are created in a second. Think about that, right? You might know about spiders and know about spiders your whole life, and you're just fine with them. All of a sudden, you see a spider in a weird situation. It's a peak response to it, and all of a sudden, forever. Every time you see a spider, you freak out, you know, until you work with a hypnotist or NLP person. But so. So it's funny how our brains work. They just link stuff together. So somewhere, Michelle, probably in the past, something happened, real or imagined, where you linked up together. Being at your goal weight puts you at risk in some way. And so how you work through that specific issue, you know, I'd start questioning it because a lot of times the reactions we have, the just the automatic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we have, they're not accurate. They're not like. They're not accurate thoughts. We just think them for whatever reason. And so you have to start questioning them, you know, so if you start reflecting on where that may have come from, that could be very enlightening. But again, it still comes back to what I was saying, though. Still, what I would love for you to do, Michelle, is to really take a few minutes today and really imagine your goal weight. But imagine it first through who you want to be. Imagine yourself being the best Michelle possible, and then the weight you want to be at, and that's even more powerful. But reflecting on where that thought might have come from is also, you know, could be valuable. Maria says, you're so right. And what you're saying, every time I get to my goal weight in the past, I was sexually assaulted by men or bullied by family members telling me, who do I think I am now? Too good for them. Exactly. This is what I mean. Those are two. Those are the two most common things right there in a nutshell. Number one, if you're a woman, it. Oh, no. Okay. So. But let's talk about some solutions, okay? I think. I think women know. We know what we're talking about, right? You, you, you were someone you know has been harassed, assaulted, or worse, you know, and you might associate to being at your goal weight, and it could be true. You might get more attention. Right? Let's just, let's generalize it, right? Because that that summarized what Maria's saying, I hope I said in your name, right, is that you just get more attention. It's negative attention, right? It's attention you don't want necessarily right now, again, we all think we want attention from people until we get it. And then sometimes it can feel a little weird, and especially if it makes you feel insecure, like in danger, not emotionally insecure. And so, yeah, if you associate that subconsciously, you're subconsciously going to avoid losing weight because your subconscious mind's protecting you. You see? So how do we deal with that one? Specifically, though, women feeling threatened by men in if. If they lose the weight and get to their goal weight. I think that what one thing you have to understand that can help is if you realize that when that happened was in the past, and you're a different person now, you're smarter, you're more aware, you're going to come up with better strategies, you're going to keep yourself safe in certain situations. If you start going down that path, a lot of times, you'll realize the things you were worried about, you can avoid, and they're not really things to worry about.

So that's one thing that you mean, question those. Those worries and fears. And even if. If things happen in the past that actually happened, knowing what you know now, could you keep yourself out of situations like that? And sometimes you couldn't have. Okay, so I get that. But a lot of times you can. And sometimes that can be very helpful moving you forward because you realize, well, I didn't know. I'm wiser, I'm smarter, I'm more aware now, so I could avoid that situation. And so now I don't have to be scared about that situation because I'll just avoid it no matter what weight I'm at, you know, and that can start to kind of move you in that direction. And then as far as family. Yeah, it's true. I. That's just another real thing that sometimes you start, you know, and that goes beyond just the weight. By the way, this goes back to what I was saying with Michelle, is that when you start really thinking yourselves, being the best version of you possible and weighing what you want, you do become an outlier in this society. You know, let it be known, I say this all the time, that if you're going to be thin and healthy, Oops. If you're going to be thin and healthy, you're going to be kind of weird. In this society, 75% of American adults are overweight or obese at this Very moment. So for you to be a thin, healthy, happy adult makes you kind of weird. And, you know, sometimes people will get jealous and they will attack you. And so that's another reality, you know, so I'm not going to sit here and say that's not real. It is. But what's the solution? Is the solution that you just stay overweight to avoid it or to learn how to genuinely deal with that specific challenge? And I hope you pick that path, you know, and think about that. It says, why is it as soon as I get to my goal, I sabotage myself and regress 15 to 20 pounds and set myself back? Well, Maria, I mean, you just, I think you just answered your question to some degree. There's more to it than this. But like you said, every time I get to my goal weight in the past, I was sexually assaulted or bullied by my family. So it's not. That's probably part of it that you get your goal when you probably freak out. You probably don't like the negative feedback from family and you probably don't like the increased fear and anxiety you experience in the world. You know, beyond that, you also are probably a dieter and how you lost the weight is unsustainable. And you have no idea how to think like a. Think, live and eat like a thin, healthy person long term. I mean, that's a big part too. So again, it's layered problems. I hate to tell you, but there is a solution to it, you know, um, but it's not going to be a diet. A diet's not going to help you. Diet's not going to help any of you folks. I mean, I'm not here to burst your bubbles, but I mean, I cannot be telling you something new. You know, the diets just don't work and that you're, you're seeing why. I mean, when I respond to these questions, you see the depth of the answer. I'm not just when someone comes up, I'm having. I feel vulnerable and I lose the weight. Well, you got to push through that vulnerability. Just push through and just do the right thing. Just, just do it. Just do it anyways, right? That's what dieting is always telling you. And when you can't do it, there's nothing for you there, you know, So I think we gotta, you know, genuinely deal with some of the challenges that we're experiencing in order to move forward. What's up, ken? Ken says nine months on PYT, down 40 pounds. And at my goal weight now, I look in the mirror, I See, See? I see the person I've been feeling on the inside. Thank you, Jim. You're welcome, Kent. That's so awesome. Proud of you. Great job, Kent. And that's what I mean. Again, program yourself is about transforming from the inside out into the person you want to be. It's not enough to just try and change your behavior on the outside and try and force yourself, you know, to be this other person. So, Ken, that's so awesome because again, that's really the goal here is to literally program yourself. Then is an inside out transformation process. You know, we start with the thoughts, feelings, behaviors, results. You know, and so it's a holistic, comprehensive approach. So. All right, I'm gonna get out of here. Got a lot of stuff to do. If you are not in my world, make sure you click the link in my bio or go to program Yourself. Then dot com, go get the free hypnosis session. Watch the training video I made for you. Read the emails I send. Got a bunch of cool free stuff coming for you. So go check that out. I'm here every Monday through Friday, usually around noon Eastern. So if you have any questions about weight, pop on here and ask them. I'm happy to answer them, help you out. And if you like listening to this and you missed the live, it's also a podcast. You can go to Program yourself or you can go to any podcast platform and search program Yourself. Then it'll pop up. All right, so thanks very much, everyone. Have a super day, and we'll talk soon. Bye.