Dealing With Down Times

Everyone, welcome to today's program, Yourself Thin Podcast. Today we're talking about dealing with the downtimes. They're going to happen. You are going to have downtimes during your weight loss journey. And what I mean by downtimes is I'm talking about times when you are eating more than you should, your weight stays the same or goes up, where you feel bad emotionally, mentally. Okay. These times are going to come and visit you, and it's impossible for this not to be the case. And I think once you understand this, it sets you up to deal with this journey much more effectively because I think dieting kind of tries to convince you of the opposite. Dieting is this idea that on some magical Monday you're going to start some plan and then just stick with it until you get to your goal weight. And the subconscious implication is that it's going to be a straight line starting here and your weight's just going to go down until you get to your goal weight. Straight line, which implies there's really no downtimes, right? That you're just going to start the process, work it perfectly, get to your goal. And even though we know logically that's not the truth, we kind of believe it. That's kind of how we approach the weight loss, that that's what's going to happen. This time is going to be different. This is going to be the first time ever that I'm really going to stick to it, make it perfect, or it's going to be like the time when I was 25 and I really got serious and did it, you know. And so sometimes we have experiences of times when we were able to not have any downtimes really for, you know, a couple of months or a little while.. But ultimately, ultimately, long-term, more than 6 months, more than a year, you are going to have downtimes. That's what it is to be a human being. And I think you need to internalize this because I think dieting has conditioned us to think that we are going to have challenges and difficulties, but we're just going to be perfect anyways. And I don't really think that's possible. And that's okay because you can still succeed.. It just not may not be the exact smooth ride or perfect ride you're expecting. And I think once you start to realize that there are going to be downtimes, you can start to prepare for them. And I think that's the important piece because you're going to have them and you're not gonna be perfect. How about that? No, you can't be perfect. I don't give a shit. In your mind you say, oh, I don't care what happens. I can be perfect. No, you can't. How are you gonna be perfect when, you know, your life blows up in some way, you have to move or you lose a job or someone you love passes away? Oh, I could just still be perfect. No. Yeah, you should be, but you can't be. Can you be? In a technical sense, you can always be perfect, but in a real-world sense, you can't always be perfect. And that's okay. And that's normal. And again, you can still succeed. But I think we need to change the way we're approaching this and shift our expectations to prepare for the eventuality that at some point things are going to become difficult and hard. And the way that I like to think about this is kind of going into it having a plan A, B, and C, D, and E, maybe. Okay. But having more than one approach, more than one expectation for how this is going to go. Because if you reflect on your history and how it's gone for you, most likely what you'll notice is, you know, sometimes, you know, you kind of start and you're able to operate way up here. Perfect. Everything's going great. But undoubtedly at some point things get challenging and hard and you're not able to operate at the same level. And again, how is this not being a human? But if we make space for that to happen, if we make space for us to be able to exist with a reality where we're not being perfect, that to me is the most important phase of weight mastery. And I think it's the one that's almost never talked about because, again, dieting just assumes and expects that you're just going to be perfect no matter what. And what I have noticed from coaching actual people for over 20 years, doing over 6,000 private weight loss coaching sessions, is that the most important coaching I do happens when the shit hits the fan. It happens when you're not being perfect. How can you ride that phase out? And I find most people have a very limited ability to ride that phase out. It's very difficult to stay engaged when you're not being perfect because dieting has taught you that it's all or nothing. It's perfect or don't worry about it. Don't even show up. But I find that the real magic in terms of changing your weight long-term happens when you're able to stay at least somewhat engaged when you can't be perfect so that you're still engaged. You may not be perfect, but you're still showing up at least in some capacity. Because what happens then is that the difficult times tend to pass. And now you can go back into your, you know, more, uh, you know, active mode. But the difference is that instead of going from active mode down to nothing, you went from active mode down to something. And now you stayed in your something mode for a little while, got through it. Now you can go back to your all mode. And that is a completely different approach than going from all mode to nothing mode and then having to feel like you have to start all over again. With what I'm talking about, we stop the starting all over again, and instead we, we create and develop the ability to at least keep one foot in the game, to at least hold on somewhat. To never go back to doing nothing, to always at least be in the game, even if it's in a little way. But dieting does not leave that option for you. It's all or nothing. And if you're not doing all, then what's the point? Well, the point is that you're still engaged. The point is that you're still getting better, even if you're not getting as better as you were when you were doing 100% perfect in the beginning. So again, all or something is the name of the game, in my opinion, and the ability to manage your downtimes, whatever downtimes means to you. Again, it could be emotional, mental, physical, um, that shows up in your eating. And you're going to have them. It's guaranteed. I can guarantee you that there's no path towards your goal weight where you don't hit some downtimes. But if you really reflect on yourself, you're going to realize that you've been expecting that this Monday is going to be different. I'm not going to have any downtimes. And so most dieters are woefully unprepared for when the downtime comes Because in their mind, they're saying, I'm not gonna have any downtimes. Things will get hard and challenging, but I'm still gonna be perfect. No, you're not. You're not gonna be perfect all the time, and that's okay. As long as you get good at being able to manage the downtimes and keep going. And even if your keep going is not as productive or as effective or as dramatic as when you started, you're still in the game. And that is the difference that shows up over time. To be foundationally a completely different space to be in. Because when you start doing all or something, when you're always at least engaged at least a little bit, those results start showing up after 6 months, after a year, after 5 years in a dramatic fashion. Because what you'll notice when you reflect on what you've been doing is you do everything perfect for a little while and then you do nothing for a long while, and it always feels like you can't get out of that hole.. And so when you're always at least a little bit engaged, that hole gets a lot less deep and it's a lot easier to get out of. And I believe this is the real secret to changing your weight. So if you wanna go deeper into this way of thinking, click the link in my bio or go to programyourselfthen and go get the free hypnosis session I made for you. It's called The New Thin Me, and it's really designed to help you internalize this mindset so that it's not just about being perfect. It's about really thinking like a new version of yourself. And that new successful version of yourself is one that can handle the downtimes and keep going. And I think you're going to find that that's the real secret to the success that you're looking to achieve. So, yes, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Any weight loss questions are welcome. If you don't know, I'm here every Monday through Friday to answer your questions, to help you move you forward in terms of your weight in any way that I can. And oftentimes I can bring some insights to your weight loss process that you may have never thought of before because I don't really ascribe to dieting. I really focus on the mindset piece primarily. Now, of course, there's strategies above that of how to live and how to eat. But the primary thing that I like to focus on is the mindset piece. And I found for most people that want to lose weight, most dieters specifically, it is the mindset piece that is the weakest. And really not for any fault of your own, but simply because diet culture really doesn't teach you about how to deal with your mindset. You know, diet culture kind of just teaches you, don't worry about your mindset, just do it. I don't even know what that means. I don't know how you're going to do it. I don't know how you're just going to get yourself to do it when you're, you know, feeling like shit or when all of a sudden you got job stress or relationship stress or worries about your health or, all the different things that life, you know, visits upon you. I don't know how, you know, without understanding how to influence your mindset, you're going to be able to just do it. And I think that's the big lie of dieting, that you can just force yourself to do the right thing. That's the answer. At the end of the day, I think dieting, that's always the answer, is that whatever question you have, just do it. Just do it. And it's like, just do it doesn't work. Not all the time. Sometimes, but not always. Now, just do it works on paper, but in real life, just do it is not a sound strategy, in my opinion. So if you're struggling with anything with weight, I can almost guarantee you there is a mindset component to it that you probably are not recognizing. And even if you recognized it, you may not have a solution for it. All right. So Adrian, Adrian says, I've been in a low motivation phase. I've been working with Jim AI. It has kept me from quitting. That's great, Adrian. And I get hit it. That's what I mean, a low motivation phase. So thank you for saying that because that's a specific context. And so you all tell me, dieters, when you hit a low motivation phase, how good is your ability to just do it when you're not motivated, when you don't feel motivated? You know, so I know like it's easy to say, I'll just, I'll just do it, I'll just do it. It's, it rolls off the tongue. It's so easy to say, but to actually do it and live it is another story. That's why in Program Yourself Then One of the components of how the program is structured is that there's, there's multiple tools. It's a holistic, comprehensive approach, and Jim AI is one of the core components of it. So basically it's an AI, it's built on me, it's a clone of me in essence, and it's cloned down over 10 million words that I've spoken, you know, so it literally is like talking to me. But again, when you feel low motivation, this is exactly what I'm talking about, that when you get into a low motivation state, What if dieting is a one-trick pony, right? So every single diet you know about is always built around one thing, right? So you're either counting your points, not eating carbs, not eating sugar, whatever, tracking calories, whatever it is. And so you get into a low motivation phase and it's difficult to do that one thing, but you got nothing else you can do, right? When you, when you all diet, you've got one thing you can do. And again, it depends on the philosophy, right? It depends on the diet, what your one thing is going to be. When you hit a low motivation phase, typically you get tired of doing that one thing and you can't get yourself to continue doing the one thing, but you got nothing else to work on your weight with. It's either count my points or nothing. It's not eat carbs or nothing. And so there's no plan B, C, D, E when it comes to diets. There's one plan, all or nothing, do or die. But when you hit a low motivation phase, good luck with that. And that's what sabotaged a lot of you. So again, with Jim, Jim AI is just one more tool in the program that's there. I'm certainly, you can use it when you're motivated too, but it's an easy thing. So, oh, I ate like shit today. So most of you just have to opt out. What are you gonna do? You didn't eat well today. Now you feel guilty and ashamed. You can't get yourself to eat well tomorrow. Now you're just trapped and you have nowhere to turn to think about it, to focus on it, to fix it. In Program Yourself Thin, we know these times are going to happen. So there's a multitude of support mechanisms in there, and one of them is Gym AI. Um, so that's great, Adrian. I'm really proud of you, um, for using Gym AI. And one thing I would refer you back to, and I think this is a great time— in Program Yourself Thin, one of the things we do— let me flip this around so it's not mirrored, so if I show you all anything, you can read it. Um, but, but a big part of the program is the Goal Weight Blueprint.. Okay? And this is basically a blueprint that takes you through the goal weight pyramid— mindset, lifestyle, eating. But it starts with mindset and it starts with motivation. Okay? So here is Adrienne. She's in the program and she's in a low motivation phase. But this is an important phase because I know Adrienne's been in the program and has probably thus far been in a high motivation phase. Pretty normal, right? We start a new program, we're really motivated and excited about it., but inevitably at some point our motivation starts to lower. That's normal though. By programming yourself, then we're prepared for this because we know this is what happens. Okay. So what I would suggest to you, Adrian, as well, um, in addition to working with Jim AI, is to go back to the Goal Weight Blueprint, specifically go back to your motivation section. Okay. So you go back to the, It's again, it's the very beginning because it's the most important part, your motivation, right? Powering your goal weight journey. And so now, Adrian, now you get to go back to that and you get to look at the answers you wrote when you first started and you were really motivated. And now one of two things is going to happen. Number one, you're going to read what was really motivating to you then, and you're going to remember it because you forgot some of those things and you're going to find that you're re-motivated at a higher level. Or you're going to realize the things you wrote down aren't really that motivating to you. And now you learn that you— the things you thought were motivating actually aren't motivating me now. So they're not really the main motivators. Now you can go deeper. And so, Adrian, this is again, you've graduated to a higher level now, okay? Because when you first start the program, you're all fired up. Oh, you fill my blueprint out. Oh, cool. But the real work starts the first time you hit a low motivation phase, because now you can go back to the motivation section And again, validate. Did I just forget things that truly motivate me? Now I feel good again. And/or do I need to go deeper into my motivation and find something that's deeper and more motivating to me? And when you go back to that blueprint and do that and use Gym AI, you're going to end up at a higher level because you're going to find a deeper motivation that's stronger and that lasts longer. So I hope that helps you out, Adrian. And again, You're in the program. So one of the things I was thinking about this today, I'm really going to go to work on this. I'm actually going to write myself a, a big note for this one because it's so important, is for the Tuesday live Q&As I do, I'm going to make it easier that if you can't make it to the call, uh, that you can ask questions. All right, so let me just write this down. Um, and so yeah, so if you have questions, Adrian, you can, you can add— you'll be able to get on the Tuesday call if you can get on it. Um, and if not, I'm going to work on making it so that you have questions, you can put them in somewhere, and I will talk about them on that call. Okay, but, but great job staying engaged and, um, using the program, right? Because I think I come out the other side better off. Yes, Christina. Yes. Love my downtime. Um, learned so much about myself. And that, you know, again, that, that, that call we had yesterday, we had a coaching call yesterday, but that conversation really inspired today's topic of dealing with downtimes. Because, you know, I, I would say a lot of people in the coaching group have been in downtimes and it's, oh, well, the program doesn't work. Cause, cause you, in your mind, you think a program that works, you never have downtimes. But of course you're going to have— no matter what program you do, there's no program on the planet you can do long term where you're not going to have downtime sometimes. So again, it's really, really important that you learn how to manage those because they're unavoidable on a long enough timeline. So yes, Christina is again an example of that mindset that we develop in the program, that we start to love our downtimes because that's the flip side. And And a lot of you almost have no experience with this because again, with dieting, it's all or nothing. And so you do everything perfect and then you do nothing and you do nothing for a while and then you do everything perfect. But every— you just keep repeating the same cycle. So there's really no forward movement. There's no new ground. You just keep repeating the exact same process. With program yourself thin, we stay aware during the downtimes, which is not easy to do. I will be the first to admit that, but we stay present during the downtimes. And if you can do that, what happens is downtimes end up being probably the most fertile ground for learning about yourself, um, things that you've been missing your whole life. So agreed, Christina. I feel that way about downtimes too. I don't even mind having them because I found that I learn the most about myself, um, when I have those downtimes. Um, Ken says your all-or-something mindset has also helped my daily exercise become more consistent. That's awesome. Yeah, again, Ken's in the program and doing really well with it. So It's, um, the all-or-something is just the key. There's something very psychologically damaging about all-or-nothing thinking, because when we go into nothing mode, it's not just that on a surface level we're not doing the behavior anymore. I think the more insidious part is that mentally, when we stop doing the thing, we start redefining ourselves. Oh my God, I was doing so good and now I've lost it all. Oh, I was doing this all the time and I was doing this and I was doing great and I was feeling good, but now I don't do it at all and I've lost it all and it's all gone.. And I think that's the worst part of the all-or-nothing mindset is, is really this, this identity piece that you start to redefine yourself as a failure. Oh, I was doing great. Now I'm back to being a failure. And that identity is so impactful. And so that's why I say when you're all-or-something, you know, again, it makes space for high and low performance. And when you're at a lower performance level, you know, it's like an athlete. I think athletes recognize that sometimes they perform at a high level and sometimes they perform at a lower level. But they're always athletes. They're always doing this thing. And I think dieters though, they perform at a high level. And then when they're not performing at a high level, they quit and they're no longer even— they don't define themselves as someone who's trying to lose weight anymore. And so in Program Yourself, then we make it a point that yes, sometimes you're operating up here and sometimes you're operating down here, but you're still in the game. And the way that you're able to stay in the game is that it's not just about how you're eating. There's more to the program than just what you're eating. So, you know, in Program Yourself Thin, you can be eating like shit. You can be eating like shit, but you can still engage with your mindset, mindset pieces. You can engage with the lifestyle pieces. And to be honest, you can still learn, you know, about the eating as well. And I think that's the biggest difference, that with Program Yourself Thin, it really does teach you and support you in being able to engage with your weight even when you're doing shitty. And I know in your mind, I know your mind's breaking right now because doing shitty— well, if I'm doing shitty, I'm not going to do it, right? Because if it's a diet, I'm either winning or I'm not doing it. Program Yourself Thin, we're winning or learning. Dieters, they're winning or quitting. So yes, in Program Yourself Thin, even the people that are the most successful have times where they're doing shitty. I put on 10 pounds last year. So again, my eating is not to stay— I'm not eating exactly the same way every single day, every single month, every single year. Sometimes my eating's better, sometimes it's a little worse, but I'm always engaged. Think about that because I know that's, that's making your brain say, huh, huh, doing shitty on a program and sticking with it, huh? It doesn't even make sense to you, but this is the bullshit you've been fed with dieting, that it's all or nothing. That's what all or nothing presents itself as. The idea of sticking with a plan when you're not doing well with it doesn't even register in your mind. But my question to you is, how do you succeed in life if you can't keep moving forward when you're not doing great? What can you get good at in life if you don't continue doing it even when you're not doing great? Then there's the paradox of dieting, and it's one of the core reasons why you are struggling to lose weight, because you can't even in your mind comprehend the idea that you would stick with a plan when you weren't doing well. Because the second you're not doing well, I was doing so good and now I'm done. I'm done. Tell me that's not what you don't think, right? It's just everyone thinks that too, because you've been conditioned to be like a dieter. And dieting is not your friend. Dieting is a psychological operation to get you to overeat and be overweight. If you want to know why, I'll tell you. Adrian says you're a flipping genius. Well, thank you, Adrian. Again, that's what I'm here for. But again, now Adrian is— it's fortunate because again, Program Yourself Thin is built to be a lifelong process. It's a lifelong program because you're creating a one-size-fits-one person. Yeah, you're fitting a one-size-fits-one person, you, uh, system to manage your weight. And so how you do it's going to be different than how I do it or other people do it. But again, we learn more in Program Yourself Then from the times we screw up than we do when we even succeed most of the time. And if you look at your life and things that you've stuck with for a long time, your work, maybe you have a long-term hobby, you'll probably find that you have learned the most when you make mistakes. That's the nature of reality. But dieting doesn't leave you that option because when you make a mistake in dieting, you quit. Yeah, you're welcome, Adrian. You're welcome. I'm glad you asked that question. And that's just reinforcement, folks, that for those of you that are in the program, please use this. Someone said it yesterday, they, they, they think of like the, um, these, these lives as almost like a mini coaching session. And I want you to do that. If you're in the program, show up for these and ask questions. I, I give you kind of extra, um, attention and I can, I can refer you back to the program. The program's complete. I promise you, you're struggling with anything, I can aim you at something. And if I can't, I'll create a training on it. Okay. I'm here for you. And I want you to use these calls if you choose to, as basically a mini form of coaching. I'm happy to move you forward with your specific situation during these calls. Right. I would love to do that. What's up, Karen? How's it going? Adrian says, how can I buy the spiral book? Oh my God. I know this is one of those things I have not done it because I don't know why. I just haven't. But if you go into the Circle app, um, and go to Program Yourself, then System Discussion. Scroll down there, you'll see there's a link for it. Um, I keep saying I'm going to send an email out, I just haven't done it. But, uh, yeah, you can get it there. And again, I, I pretty much sell it at cost of printing and shipping, so it's a relative good deal. I mean, it's still stupid, everything's expensive nowadays, you know, this is so crazy. Price of things is just nuts, isn't it? But anyways, yeah, and again, you know, you obviously, you have the PDF version of it in the program that that's included. But if you want the physical version, um, you can go order from that link. And if you can't find it, you can just, um, send a ticket into the support desk and, uh, we'll get the link as well. What's up, Jane? Jane says, yesterday after hearing you talk about sourdough bread, I bought a loaf and then ate half of it. Oh my God, that was just the beginning because I carried on to eat a whole package of chocolate pudding. So annoyed with myself, uh, and I know that this is not the way to do this. What I did do right was to stop eating early in the evening and also get in 2 hours of dance. Hey, Jane, right? That was a, that was a roller coaster ride. I'm really, I'm proud of you, Jane, because I don't give a shit about that half a loaf of bread. Um, what I care about more importantly for you is the recognizing what you did right, appreciating that. And then again, we go back with the sourdough bread. Um, that's why I, I find, I've always thought this, you know, for a lot of my life, for years I worked in the restaurant industry and, um, at one point was considering, you know, going down that direction. And it was so funny because I was still doing this work. Even at one point I was doing both of them at the same time. And I was like, what a, you know, what a duality of person, you know, at one hand I'm, you know, selling people food and on the other hand I'm teaching them how to manage it better. Um, so it's funny with the sourdough bread, it's, I find myself in the same situation. Uh, so I don't like to talk about it too much because I don't want to trigger you all. Uh, so that can happen. So that's probably what happened, Jane. So again, I appreciate that that happened to you. Uh, you know, I think there's a couple things you can learn from that though. But the first thing is that you ended it on recognizing what you did right. So I really— that's a great job. The other thing though is you go back and say, oh my God, how did I get into eating a whole half a bread? And then the whole thing that went on. And so I think One thing you experienced, again, what triggers it? I was talking about it. You got it. Okay. There you go. Um, but the, the more important thing I think to recognize here is the what the hell effect. The what the hell effect I think is really important to understand. This is something that affects all of us and especially dieters. And it's basically this idea that, you know, we either do everything right. And as soon as we make a mistake, we say, what the hell? And then we just go, we go wild with it. And they've done some interesting studies on this where dieters are more than a non-dieter. Dieters, as soon as they make a mistake, tend to go way the other direction. So it's not unusual, Jane, that once you kind of get carried away with the sourdough, that it would continue into other foods. That's a common thing. And so I think the answer is you do the redo technique on that. And how could you have dealt with the sourdough bread more effectively? I've done the same thing. I mean, I've been baking sourdough bread now for, for 3, 4 months. And, um, yeah, when I first started making, I was overeating it, you know, but I kept working. Okay, how do I want to deal with— how I deal with— how I deal with this? And, um, now I, you know, I, I bake a loaf of sourdough bread probably every day. I, I do a lot. It's— I, I just— I'm loving it right now and whatever. I do it a lot. So, and I mean, it's good-ass sourdough bread. I gotta admit, I'm really good at it. I should show you some pictures of it. I mean, I'm really good, but I haven't even gained any weight, you know, because I very intentionally, I keep saying, okay, what can I do? And my success with eating sourdough bread moderately is built on the back of overeating it. So again, this is what I mean, that we, we have to stop quitting when we make a mistake, and instead we have to learn from the mistake. And that's, that to me is the central core of Program Yourself Then. Because the whole program, in my opinion, is built around the program yourself, then technique, which is really the redo rehearsal technique. And it's literally— it assumes you're going to make lots of mistakes. Dieting assumes you're going to make no mistakes. Well, I don't believe that. I think you're gonna make lots of fucking mistakes. How about that? I think you're gonna overeat a lot. You're gonna make lots of wrong food choices. How about that? But we acknowledge that and we start from that point. So you can move forward. Dieting doesn't. Dieting is built around the idea that you make lots of mistakes all the time, but starting tomorrow, you're never going to make a mistake. That's it. Mistakes are over. It's Monday. Monday's here. No more mistakes. Huh? How's that work? Is that how life works? You can just decide not to make mistakes anymore? Well, eating's not a mistake, Jim. You're in control of it. Huh? Huh? What's that mean? I don't know. So again, in Program Yourself Thin, we literally start with the acknowledgment that you're gonna make mistakes, and that's okay as long as you learn from them. And if you start learning from your mistakes— holy shit, because I make lots of mistakes— great thing, you have lots of learnings. So good job, Jane. Again, I know it can be annoying. We can still be annoyed with ourselves and then end on a positive. So I, I love what you did with that, Jane. Good job. What's up, Darlene? How's it going over there? Hey, Jackie. What's up, Sherry? Sherry says, I love how we talked yesterday about remembering what had worked for me when I was doing well. Big light bulb moment for me and something I've never had before. Thank you, Jim. That's so awesome, Sherry. I'm super glad to hear that. Um, what Sherry's referring to is the, the pattern a lot of us have that when we're doing well, we're doing well and everything's great. But the second we get off track and make a mistake, especially you dieters, tell me if you can relate to this. I was doing so good. Oh, and now I'm going to put all the weight back on. Instead of saying, okay, I've gone off track here. What was I doing when I was— so I'm going to use something. So say You know, one of your big habits you changed to lose weight was, I stopped snacking at night. Oh, I stopped snacking. That's how I lost all the weight. Look at me, I stopped snacking at night. And then at some point you start snacking at night again, and I said, oh my God, I did so good, and now I'm— no, I'm just snacking at night. I'm up now, it's screwed. I'm putting all the weight back on. It's all over. Oh well, it was okay, and now it's all gone. Instead of saying, wait a second, I'm snacking at night, how was I not snacking at night? I wasn't snacking at night for the last 4 months. How was I doing that? What was I thinking about? What was my patterns? What was my behaviors? How was I eating? But, but dieters don't do that. They don't look back at what they were successful and how they were successful. They start going into their, you know, the, the, the pit spiral. Oh God, now it's all over. And I was doing so good and now I screwed up and now it's all done. Instead of saying, wait, I just, I, I did this 3 months ago. I started eating better. How did I do it? And that's the difference between being solution-oriented and problem-oriented. But again, dieters are problem-oriented, and they really— the second they're doing well and then they make a mistake, they tend to just really pile on top of themselves and just start spiraling down. So I'm glad that helped you, Sherry. That's a huge, huge thing to recognize. So, um, what's up, Sarah? Sarah says, using the Spark program after a year absence from listening to the podcast, it's helped me to realize I needed to work on my relaxation. Because I was exhausted and dealing with grief. Back on track now. Great job, Sarah. I'm proud of you. Yeah, I mean, relaxation to me is always the foundation of success, you know, with your weight and your eating. The more stressed and tense you are, I think the harder it is to eat the way you know you should, you know. And I think this gets just to the heart of the whole program, which is that I think most people know pretty much how to eat. That's not really the core problem. The core problem is you don't know how to get yourself to do it. You don't know how to get yourself to do what you already know you should.. And I think the primary reason you struggle with that is because you're in a state of chronic stress and tension, and maybe there's grief on top of that, uh, you know, or other emotions on top of that. So super glad to hear, Sarah, that, that, that helped you out. And, um, I think that's an important lesson for you to remember, you know? So again, I was saying this yesterday. So typically when somebody wants to lose weight, they're really looking at their eating. Well, actually they're looking at their weight, right? So the top level for most dieters is their weight. They step on the scale. And they say, oh my God, my weight's gone up. Oh my God, I don't understand. My weight's gone up and I don't get it. I don't know what's happening here. Well, your weight's going up or down because of how you're eating. So what we want to do is we want to drill down to the deeper reasons. So we start with the scale. What's the scale saying? But then we go down to how you're eating because your scale is showing what you're eating is— your scale is a reflection of how your eating has been. Yes. And so we go scale to eating. But now we go even deeper and we say, okay, well, why is my eating this way? And we start to look at, well, how have I been feeling? Well, what have you been feeling? I've been feeling grief. I've been depressed. I've been sad. I just have several— what's going on here? Right? And then we go down to the thinking level. So thoughts create feelings, feelings create behaviors, behaviors create your weight. And most dieters are just on the scale level. And when you go down, you start to get to deeper solutions. And so I, Sarah, I want you to remember, because for the rest of your life, you're going to notice at least one big connection with your weight is your stress level and your exhaustion and energy level. This is true for all of you, but it'll mean more to Sarah because Sarah just experienced it firsthand. So it's more visceral and real to her. But for, for everyone, I can almost guarantee you your weight is directly being impacted by your stress levels. And your energy levels. Those are the two big ones. And so instead of just, oh yeah, I don't know what's going on my way, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what's happening my way, I don't know, my eating's out of control, my eating's out of control, I don't know what's happening here. That dieters are just stuck on this level. Go a little deeper. Oh shit, right, uh, I scroll all night until 4 in the morning, I don't sleep, I'm exhausted, I'm stressed to the gills, work's going crazy and I haven't dealt with the stress. I promise you, when you go deeper into why you're eating the way you're eating, it always, almost always comes down to your emotions and your energy level, and then your thinking is an intricate component to that, but the thinking leads to that. But if you're wondering why you can't control your eating, before you wonder about that, why don't we look at your stress levels and your energy levels? Let's talk about that first. It's a lot clearer because when you try and understand why you're eating the way you're eating without looking at your energy level and your, um, your energy levels and your emotions, I don't know what you're doing. What, you're just going to pretend that your energy levels and your emotions aren't impacting your eating? And you wonder why you're confused. But again, dieting tells you, who cares what your energy levels— who cares what your emotions are? Just eat the right stuff. Well, how are you going to get yourself to eat the right stuff? I'll just force myself to do it. Oh, so you're talking about willpower? Do you know how willpower works? Do you? Do you even know what willpower is, folks? Roy Baumeister wrote the book on willpower. If you care at all about your weight, you might want to read Mr. Roy's book. You might— if you're a dieter, the only tool you got in your tool belt is willpower. Fine, fine. That's the only tool you want. Fine. But you better become a master at willpower then. Do you even understand what willpower is? I bet you don't. I bet you don't. It's a vague concept that willpower means I'll just get myself to do the right thing all the time. Is that what willpower means to you? Because if that's your definition of willpower, then you're going to be in big trouble because willpower is like a muscle. You only have so much of it. It's not infinite. Just so you know, willpower is not infinite. It's a muscle. So this idea that you're always going to be able to show up with this much willpower is fantastical. It makes no sense. It's like saying I can just run a 1,000-mile marathon and never stop. Can you do that? Can you just run a 1,000-mile marathon with never stopping? Can you do that? No. Why? Why can't you? Because you get depleted and you run out of energy. The muscles exhaust and you need to replenish them, right? But you don't think willpower like that. You think of willpower as this non-physical, never-ending force. That is absolutely childlike thinking. It doesn't make any sense. There's no scientific reasoning for that. There's— that's not an explanation. So fine, you want to be a dieter and you just want to rely on willpower, fine. But you better understand what willpower is if that's the only tool you want. Now I'm going to let you know a little secret. Willpower is not a good only tool at all. And most you dieters believe, no, yes it is. Yes it is, Jim. Yes it is. I just need my willpower. I just need— I don't have any right now, but at some Monday, there's going to be some magical Monday coming up, Jim, where I'm going to have amazing willpower and I'll just be able to make all the right decisions. Okay, how's that work? It's, it's childlike thinking. So anyways, good job, Sarah. You realized, you realized something very important there. Yeah, Jane says definitely not quitting. Good for you, Jane. Fran says you're so good, looking forward to joining your program. Well, thank you, Fran, I appreciate that. I'm not bad. I listen, I've been doing this for a long time, you know. I guess anytime you do something for a long time, you tend to get good at it. So yeah, I don't mind patting myself on the back. I don't have a problem with that. I'm really good at this. But thank you for saying so too. I do appreciate that. Darlene says you should have challenges within the Circle app and give sourdough bread for prizes. Oh, that's a good one. I know my sourdough— I gotta, I gotta show you. I, I should, you know, I should do it. Like, I, I, I made a— I don't want to do it though because that's not what I'm here for. I'm not here to tempt you all and throw you off track. Um, You know, but it is funny, is my dual nature, because I love making it, and it's— it is funny. So much easier than helping people. I've always thought that, you know, it's like, it's just so funny. It's like, it's so much— when I thought that with the restaurant thing, I'm like, God, it'd be so much easier to make food that people get addicted to than it is to help them, you know, manage their weight. But, um, this is my mission in life, so I don't really have a choice with it. Uh, Jackie says, any tips for evening Sugar cravings, over-snacking, and all the, the all-or-none mentality. Um, yeah, for sure. I think you, you, the first tip is, right, the last part of the question you asked is we go from all-or-nothing thinking to all-or-something thinking. Program Yourself Thin is an all-or-something approach to managing your weight. And that, that to me is the, the one of the core mindset concepts of success because again, you dieters are all or nothing. So you're doing everything perfect for a little while and then you're doing nothing. And that's leading to you staying stuck because honestly, you're doing everything all for 10% of the time. You're doing nothing for 90% of the time. And what that looks like when you zoom out is it all looks the same. You're not making any changes. So all or something is really the secret. And so once we have that mindset of all or something, now we go back to evening sugar cravings and over-snacking. And now instead of saying, because I know Jackie, I've never met Jackie in my life. But I already know that the way Jackie has approached her sugar cravings and over-snacking has been to cut sugar out and to stop snacking at night. I already know this. You can let me know if I'm wrong. I'm happy to acknowledge when I'm wrong. But I would bet for most of you, when you deal with your sugar, when you deal with your snacking, all the rest of it, your answer is to stop sugar, stop snacking. And that's an all-or-nothing approach. And you can stop it completely for a little while, and then you go back to eating it the way you always did a couple of days later. Typically, and sometimes it's a couple of weeks, sometimes it's a couple of months, but eventually you go back to eating the way you always did. So program yourself. Then the approach is that you cut down, you start to get a sense of how much sugar you consume, how much you snack typically in the evenings. And we start by reducing it, um, 20%, 15-20%, because 15-20%, it's a lot more doable. And once you get comfortable reducing it 15-20%, guess what? You reduce it another 10, 15, 20%, but you approach it and change it in a way that's relatively comfortable. This is what dieting has taught you not to do. Dieting has taught you that the only way forward is to do the extreme, difficult, hard thing. No pain, no gain, which is bullshit. If it works for you, great. But if it doesn't work for you, it's bullshit. And the alternative is that you can approach it slower because I bet, Jackie, you've been dealing with this sugar and snacking for years or decades. Because that— I say, I say approach it slow. So that's too slow, dieters tell me. Now, Jim, what you're saying is going to take too long. Well, how long you been dealing with this? Decades. Well, isn't that a long time? And this is the trap most you dieters get in, is that the idea of taking it slow and steady is unappealing to you because you feel like it's going to take forever. But what you're missing is that you've already been dealing with this forever. And if you continue the diet mentality, you're going to continue to deal with it forever. So the real solution forward is to change your strategy, change your approach. And so what I would suggest is instead of trying to cut it out cold turkey, you start to reduce it by a percentage that's comfortable to you and that you can maintain, and then build on that. Jane says, when people screw up, they quit whatever they were doing and then start to look for another program. Yeah, exactly right. Again, this idea that some other program is going to have all the magic and the mystery. But listen, the program and what it says is rarely the issue. The issue is typically that you get to the end of your willpower, you get to the end of your ability to force yourself to do something, and you go back to what you always did. It doesn't matter what program— you've all tried a bunch of different programs. It's always the exact same experience. And you know this. It doesn't matter what diet I give you. I could give you a vegan diet, a carnivore diet, Weight Watchers, literally any diet you pick it, any single diet. What they all have in common is the diet mindset. Whatever diet you pick, you're going to start 100% on Monday, and you're going to do 100% for a little while, and then you're going to go to do 0% of it. So that's what we want to change more than the specifics of the diet, you know. What's up, Jody? Jody said, I listened to the coaching call today. It was a good one to remind ourselves awareness and traces. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Trances, right? So, um, yeah, we talked about— and that's a whole fascinating concept in my opinion, the concept of trances, because we are in trances all the time. We, we make the mistake as humans of thinking we're much more aware and awake than we are, because the truth is that we're running on autopilot in relative trances most of the time. You're very unaware of what you do. You make, it's estimated, over 200 food decisions a day. You don't realize that, right? Because most of them are happening in the background on autopilot in a trance-like behavior. So yeah, agreed, Jody. And we missed you. I missed you yesterday, Jody. Um, hey, what's up, Lindsay? Lindsay says, one of the best lives you have ever done. Thanks for your time, Jim. Thanks, Lindsay. I appreciate you saying that. Um, yeah, Jane says we've probably all done that. Yeah. And again, we can all relate to what I'm talking about, uh, because everything I'm talking about is built on experience of talking with real people trying to lose weight. And so, you know, I try to feed back the reality of what people are experiencing. And I think dieting doesn't reflect that because dieting is always telling you Just do it. Come on, just do the right thing. Well, great. What do you do when you feel like you can't do the right thing? Just do the right thing. Oh God, dieting is just like such a one-note song. I can't stand it. It's like, it's like a carpenter with one tool. It's just— God, it doesn't work. Tell me it works. Tell me dieting works. Anyways, we're gonna TikTok for a second. What's up, J-May? How's it going? Stephanie says the key to maintaining the 50 pounds I've lost is grace and not letting mistakes snowball. Stephanie, yes, the comment of the day. I love that. That, that is 100%. And, and by the way, I just want to reinforce this: Program Yourself Thin was created because I began interviewing people that had lost weight and kept it off for at least 2 years. So everything I'm sharing with you started with interviewing people that had lost weight and kept it off for at least 2 years. So I have modeled success with everything I'm sharing with you is things that I have learned or discovered myself by maintaining my success. And so when you hear someone like Stephanie saying the key to maintaining the 50 pounds I've lost, that's the person you want to listen to, the person who's lost weight 50 pounds is great, and kept it off. They're the ones that got the gold in their brains. That's who you want to listen to. And Stephanie— so that's what I mean, like, people have lost weight, kept it off. Every time they kind of pop in here or find me, they say, holy shit, what? It's like you're reading my mind. Well, I am reading your mind because success leaves clues. There's a pattern to success for people that have successfully lost weight. Most of you all have never heard their story because your entire concept of weight loss has been put there by the diet industry. And the diet industry is not your friend. The diet industry is a branch of the food processing industry. Weight Watchers was owned by Heinz. Jenny Craig was owned by Nestlé. Atkins Food Products, owned by the same company that owns Ben Jerry's, uh, Cinnabon, and Auntie Anne's pretzels. SlimFast, owned by the same company that owns Ben Jerry's ice cream. So these companies are not trying to help you have a healthy relationship with food and live at your goal weight for the rest of your life. They're trying to fill your head with rocks so you end up eating their food forever. And being stuck. And so, you know, again, when you start listening to people who have actually changed their weight and done it long term, it almost always is fixated on how do I deal with mistakes. So when Stephanie writes GRACE in all capitals and not letting mistakes snowball, that is what I agree 1,000%. And Stephanie sounds exactly like the type of person I would have modeled to put Program Yourself Thin together. And it's— I always say this, you know, growing up, the person who taught me the most about diets in my life growing up was a family friend. He was a 400-plus-pound comedian. And this guy, he was a great guy, you know, interesting, funny guy. And every month he was on a different plan, different diet. And he did— this guy, literally the most obscure, random things. He spent a fortune on them. And literally ended the last 20 years of his life in a wheelchair because he never lost the weight. And he would always talk about diets to me, what he was going to do. And it was so fascinating to me when I began speaking with people who had lost weight and kept it off. It was like being hit in the head with a hammer. I was like, I could not believe how different what they were saying was from what he had told me about diets and what other people had said about weight loss through dieting. It was night and day difference. And I'm telling you, The biggest reason you all are stuck with your weight is because you think like dieters, not like people who are living at their goal weight after having lost the weight. That's the biggest difference. And Stephanie just proves that one more time by saying the key is grace and not letting mistakes snowball. I couldn't agree more. So thank you for sharing that. And it just— again, that's a specific great technique and advice, but it reveals a bigger pattern of success, which is that You should all— if you want to live at your goal weight, if you want to lose weight and live at your goal weight long term, you ought to model people that have gotten the results that you want. And dieters are not the people to model. Dieters— when you think of a dieter in your mind, you think of someone who's living at their goal weight comfortably, enjoyably, or do you think of someone who's overweight, struggling? And that should give you all the answer you need to know. So again, I'm telling you right now, you are subconsciously following the complete wrong information. Yeah, Lisa says, I've kept it off, but it has and still is a struggle. That happens too. That can happen. Um, but I think sometimes that's be— because you haven't fully internalized it. I think that happens, and I think that gets back to the mindset piece. So some people do lose it and keep it off, and they do it in a very strict sort of diet-y way. The people I've modeled and I want to learn from are the people that have transformed their mindsets, their lifestyle, and their eating so that living at their goal weight feels natural, almost on near autopilot. And so I would suggest for Lisa T, if I had to guess, you still identify as an overeater, an overweight person. You've not internalized being a thin, healthy person. I would guess that you haven't fully gone to the mindset piece, if I had to guess. And this can happen. I almost think of— there's a term they use. I guess it's not the most pleasant term, but I'm just going to say it because I think it's relevant. But in the alcoholic world, they will talk about a dry drunk. And basically that's someone who just stops drinking. So they don't deal with the core issues that caused the problem in the first place. They just stop drinking. And I think this can happen with weight loss, too, where people are real strict with things and they force themselves to eat differently. But they don't really deal with the deeper issues that caused the problem in the first place. So Program Yourself Thin really is a holistic, comprehensive approach because we don't want that. We don't want to just be strict and punitive with ourselves in order to keep our weight here. We want to become a thin, healthy person. And I always say, like, Program Yourself Thin is an inside-out approach to managing your weight. So in Program Yourself Thin, we start right off the, the beginning with changing your thoughts. So you start to think like a thin, healthy person, and that starts to come out into your lifestyle. So you start to live like a thin, healthy person, and then eventually you eat like a thin, healthy person, and then you look like a thin, healthy person, are a thin, healthy person. So again, my suggestion to you, Lisa, is, you know, I don't know. Lisa says nobody should listen to how I've done it, weighing daily and still loosely calorie tracking, low carb. There you go. And this is a classic example. I think this is important because The number that haunts me is that 85 to 95% of dieters that lose weight put it back on. And I think, Lisa, I think you have a tremendous amount of self-awareness, and I hope you use that self-awareness to start doing some of that deeper work so that you can achieve the results that you've gotten in a more comfortable, intuitive way that starts to feel almost natural and automatic. I would strongly recommend, Lisa, that you click the link in my bio, go up to the little picture of me on the top left. And, um, go get my hypnosis session, watch the training I give you, because I think, you know, yes, you've lost the weight, you've learned how to force yourself to do the external things the right way. My program will show you how to internalize it. And even if you just watch the free training, I think you'll, you'll learn a lot. And I want you to realize that you can make it, you can get better, Lisa. The first phase for you perhaps was changing the behavior and losing the weight. The next phase is to start to internalize it. So that you start to believe and think of yourself as the person you want to be. So it starts to flow out of you more than it being this, this controlling thing that you're kind of doing now. You know, so you certainly have nothing to lose here, you know, if you go check that out. So I hope that helps you out. Yeah, Lisa says, yep, so on point. Yes, Lisa, I know, I know your mindset. Um, I want you, I want you to go check it out. You are exactly the person that I'm here for because you, I know you're, you're willing to do the work. And so I think if you get some of the information that I share with you, you're, you're exactly the type of person that can really utilize it more than the average bear. All right. So good job with what you've done so far, but realize just getting your weight to that scale number that you want, that's not, that's not the success. That's not the final state of success, right? We want to go deeper and you know this more than anyone. You want to feel it. You deserve to feel it now. Okay. And that requires. More work, but so what? Because it's gonna— it's gonna get you better results. Losing the weight's probably been cool. It's hard, it's a— it's kind of stressful and all the rest of it. It's still better than being overweight, but there's a whole other phase that's way better than where you're at now. And if you go watch that training I give you, it'll become a lot clearer to you. I think you'll really resonate with that training. Go check it out. All right, uh, what's up, Ezra? How's it going? Ezra says— at least it says you guessed correctly. I know, I, I've been doing this for a while. I, I— a lot of people, it's like, it's like I'm a mind reader. I'm not a mind reader. I've been doing this so long that I know. And you listen, I am a hypnotist and an NLP trainer. And so I really— when I say I interview people that have lost weight and kept it off, I'm not just interviewing them like a journalist. I'm interviewing them. I'm going into what they think. So, you know, people always tell me, it's like, you know more what I'm thinking than what I do. Yes, because I know how dieters think intimately, and I know how people that have lost weight and keep it off think intimately, like deep, deep, deep, right? Um, Ezra says, hi Jim, I do well all day and then mess up mess it all up at night. Yeah, okay. But I mean, that language, and I don't love— I don't love Azra. Now, I know Azra, so I could talk to her this way. I do well all day and then mess it up all at night. Of course, my first question is, what's do well all day? The classic dieter, you know, when they say I do well all the time during the day, what's that mean? I don't eat anything, you know. So sometimes doing well all day is not really doing well. Maybe I over-restrict during the day and then I overeat at night. Well, the over-restricting is leading to the overeating sometimes. A lot of times where the problem shows up is not where the problem was created. That's the first thing. But the first— the next step, Ezra, is that that's a very problem-oriented thought. Okay. I'm not saying that's not accurate. I'm not saying that, that yes, you're doing well during the day and then you're messing up at night. Again, first thing I would say is, are you really doing well during the day or are you over-restricting during the day and then you can't keep it up at night? That's my first question. But the second thing is, let's reframe this in a more solution-oriented way. I'm happy with how I'm eating during the day. I'm doing pretty well there. How can I do better at night? Not that I mess it all up at night. That, that just, that makes your brain feel overwhelmed and you just, oh, I screwed it all up. I messed it all up. It's too vague and it's too big and it makes you feel defeated. Get specific. What specifically are you messing up at night? And then solution-oriented. How do I want to eat at night? How can I make that happen? How can I make it easier? How can I make it more enjoyable? What can I do to make this happen for me? Be solution-oriented and your brain will guide you down the path. Okay. Yeah. Lisa said, I still feel deprived. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. That's exactly what happens to dieters is they feel deprived. And I will tell you why, Lisa. Here you go. Most dieters, what they do is they trade the excitement and the pleasure of the food for the excitement and the pleasure of the weight loss. But eventually you stop losing weight, you get to your goal weight. Now where do you get your pleasure and excitement from? Right? We need pleasure and excitement, and most dieters never figure out another way to get the pleasure and excitement. So in Program Yourself, then we take the weight loss, we wrap it in personal development, because a big part of what we're doing is looking for more and better ways to feel excitement and pleasure. That aren't based around food. But again, as a dieter, typically that scale, that weight going down, is the pleasure and excitement. But then you get to your goal weight and now you feel empty, even though you're going, what the fuck? I don't understand. I don't understand. I lost the weight. How come I'm not thrilled? How come I'm not over the moon? Because where are you getting your pleasure and excitement from? Tracking calories? Restricting carbs? Is that filling you with excitement and pleasure? No. And so again, most likely you're doing the typical dieter thing where you've micromanaged all these statistics, these numbers, and now you're left feeling kind of empty and deprived. That's why I said please watch the training, Lisa. It's very important that you watch it, okay? Because, uh, I think watching that training is going to set you up— even if you just watch the training, I think it's going to set you up to realize a lot of things that you're experiencing that you haven't even realize you're experiencing now. And I think it could potentially help you a lot. Okay. Uh, Sarah says, absolutely it is. I lost 30 pounds originally and put 10 pounds back on. It was because I was using emotional eating as a crutch at night. Stopped for 3 days now, feeling more positive. Yeah, super job, Sarah. Um, and again, great, great job realizing the emotional eating was a crutch at night. Okay. And so the question becomes not just, can I stop eating at night, Sarah, building on what I just said, The question becomes, Sarah, what can I do at night to feel more relaxed? What can I do at night to rejuvenate myself, to replenish myself from a tiring day? Um, what can I do at night to help me move through and work through this grief that I'm feeling? And that'll bring you to a whole nother level, Sarah. Okay. Jane says, I often overeat when I am bored or the weather is bad and I don't want to go out or do anything. And then I go down the social media hole for the entire day and graze everything. Well, great, Jane. I mean, again, success starts with becoming aware of what our issues and our patterns are. Okay, so great job, Jane. So now the question becomes, again, you've defined the problem and that's the first step. So good job. Now you want to start defining the solution. And so start asking solution-oriented questions. Okay, you've defined the problem. You know, the problem is I get bored and I eat. Okay, you got— you've got the problem. Now the question becomes, what can I do at night? What can I do during the day that is actually interesting to me? What can I do during the day that's actually stimulating, that's not based around food or social media? I would like to say, you know, there's— don't take this personally, folks, but there's no such thing as boredom eating. There's just boring people. And I was guilty of this myself. My life at one point revolved around eating food 6 times a day. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Everything I was thinking about, food and TV. I knew every show that was on TV. I was, oh, it's on Wednesday night, I have this, I'm gonna eat this. That's most of my thinking was wrapped up around that. I think it's no secret now and no surprise that now I've added a lot of hobbies to my life. So now at night I'm playing guitar, I might be drawing, I might be reading, I might be doing yoga. So I have a lot more things that I can do, um, that keep me entertained and interested than I used to. And I think that is a key component of being able to manage my weight. So yeah, don't— because what a lot of people do— so I'm a, I'm a boredom eater, but what they want is, what's the solution then? To not eat when you're bored. Think about it. That's what you're thinking subconsciously. The answer— I'm a boredom eater, so how do I fix my weight problem? I stop eating when I'm bored. Well, that makes you a thin, boring person. You don't want to be a thin, bored person. That's not the— that's not the answer. The answer is, how can I find better ways to entertain and stimulate myself that don't revolve around food? And again, you have to understand, in this culture we live in, our entire lives at this point, we have been conditioned to use food as our main emotional management strategy, which involves boredom. We've been— we've turned food into entertainment. And so that is kind of just installed into us. So it's very easy for us to just go right to the food and use it. So it does take a little extra work to say, okay, what are some genuine ways to entertain and stimulate myself that aren't revolving around food? What are those things? Um, and again, I'm not saying it's an easy thing to figure out, but once you figure it out, it changes the whole game fundamentally. So great job becoming aware of that, Jane, and now start focusing on the solutions. Sherry says, yes, you really are good at this. You're the best. Thank you. Thank you. I think I am the best. I don't think— I, I think this, and I I used to hesitate to say this, but now I really don't. I don't— I literally don't think there's a person on the planet. This is a big statement, but I literally do not think there's a person on the planet that knows more about how to think like a thin, healthy person than me. And not only do I know how to think like a thin, healthy person, I don't think there's a person on the planet that can help you think like a thin, healthy person as much as I can. I don't. I really don't. If they're around, they are on the sneak and doing it quietly. In, in the world of like people that we know of, I, I can't even think of one. I can't even think of one. I even— people that think, talk about mindset with weight loss and the rest of it, I find the stuff they talk about sounds like kindergarten to me. I, I don't mean to sound like an egotistical asshole. I, I— but I take the no bullshit oath when I get on here. I'm not gonna bullshit you. I'm not gonna lie to you. And that, that goes with it. I literally have never seen anyone talk about this stuff. This entire book I've created, this workbook alone this goal weight pyramid, I came out of my brain. I wish I didn't have to do this. I would have been more than happy 30 years ago to just have learned all this shit and done it. I would have been thrilled to take that path, but it didn't exist. And so I have been on a mission. I have been absolutely obsessed with this stuff for over 30 years personally and over 20 years professionally. I have been doing program yourself then for over 20 years. I've been going through my stuff. I keep looking for— I gotta find the first ad I ever did. You've got to see it. It's pretty good. You might think it's good. You might think it looks like shit. I don't know. But it's like I have literally been doing this full-time, nonstop, obsessively for over 20 years. And I'm obsessed. I read— I kind of slowed up last year, but I usually read, you know, at least 50 books a year. I'm obsessed with this. I have 6,000 private weight loss sessions. I've reiterated program yourself thin. Dozens and dozens of times. I'm obsessed with this shit. I really am. It's just a mission for me, you know? So thank you, Sherry. I appreciate you saying that, and, uh, I accept that. I accept it. Uh, Wendy says my downfall is night binging sugar and carbs. It is your downfall, but remember, that's, that's where— that's the symptom, you know? That the night binging the sugar and the carbs is the, the symptom of a deeper issue. And the deeper issue, Wendy, most likely Because if, if you think the only issue or the main issue is the night binging sugar and carbs, then your whole focus is on how do I stop night binging sugar and carbs? And my answer to you is you're never going to be able to do that if that's all you're trying to do. And so in my opinion, you always need a holistic, comprehensive approach to deal with whatever. Yeah, Wendy just followed up by saying boredom. It just clicked. I'm bored at night. There you go, Wendy. I'm happy you realize that, right? It feels good. And this is what I'm trying to say. Again, any of you that think your problem is that you're overeating at night, you're eating too much at dinner, you snack too much, you eat too much sugar— that's not the problem. That's a symptom of a deeper problem. The deeper problem is you do not know how to think like a thin, healthy person. You don't know how to live like a thin, healthy person, and you do not know how to eat like a thin, healthy person. Your problem is not that you're overeating too much at dinner. That is such a simplistic explanation of a complex problem that it's meaningless. And this is why you struggle, because dieting has taught you to just oversimplify what the problem is. And if you oversimplify the problem, then you're ripe for the picking with an oversimplified solution. And that is dieting in a nutshell. Dieting is an oversimplified solution that doesn't work. And think about it, every diet is one thing. Every single diet is built around one thing. Just stop eating carbs. Just track your calories. Just count your points. Just stop eating for 16 hours. Just eat vegetarian food. Just eat meat. It's always one thing. And I can promise you, you are not just one thing away from living at your goal weight for the rest of your life. I'm sorry to tell you if that's disappointing to you, but you need a comprehensive, holistic solution to this challenge. And if that makes you upset, then, then tough shit. I believe it 100%, and I'd rather have you be mad at me for accurate information than to live in a fantasy land and beating yourself up because you can't do something as simple as just following a diet. It ain't simple. It's not simple to completely change your eating and your behavior. That's not a simple thing. Uh, Pam gives me the 100%. Good, that's what I like to see. I like— my goal here on this podcast is to help put some light bulbs on and to give you some information so that you can stop beating yourself up. Because most dieters beat themselves up because they think, oh, it's so simple. Well, my neighbor just lost 30 pounds doing keto. Why don't I do that? Well, there's a lot more to it than that. Okay. And the truth is, you want to know why you're struggling with your weight more than anything else? I'll tell you why. It's because you have never learned how to think like a thin, healthy person. You've never learned how to do that. You've learned how to fight against yourself in a million different ways, but you have never learned how to think like a thin, healthy person, not even once. And I know this for a fact. And once you learn how to do that again, it's a different process. It's a process of learning as opposed to a process of fighting against yourself, which doesn't work. Um, Caitlin says, recovering dieter and now extremely anemic because of intermittent fasting and not eating enough. Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that, Caitlin, but again, what I would say is at least you got that knowledge now. So cut this shit with the intermittent fasting the way you were doing it and then not eating enough, right? Start eating more, start eating enough, nourishing yourself. Take that as kind of a, you know, a step along the path of success that now you've learned something. You've learned a specific way that doesn't work for you, so don't do that anymore. Adjust it so it starts to work for you better. But I get it, a lot of people have experienced that, but I'm glad you realize it now. All right. Yeah, Lisa says, I still get excited over buying clothes. Fair enough, fair enough. But that's an excitement that's not gonna last. I hate to tell you, I hate to tell you, Lisa. Please understand I'm not being negative when I say this. Please understand I'm being protective of you because you are a person I care about almost more than anyone. The people I care about almost more than anyone other than people in my program is people that have lost weight. I don't want you to put it back on. I, I, I have more emotion for you than almost anyone because I know you're willing to put the work in. I know how hard you've worked to lose the weight, Lisa. But I also know about a little thing called hedonic adaptation. Hedonic adaptation is basically experienced when you buy a new car. For the first couple months, it's like, holy shit, my new car! Look at my new car! Eventually it turns into your car. And it's just ain't exciting anymore. And this is what we got to watch out for, and this is the lingering effect. If I had to guess, Lisa, I'm going to guess you've got your goal, you've been at your goal weight for 3, 6 months. How long you been there? And so the buy and the close is still kind of exciting. They're hearing people say, holy shit, look at you running. People, you haven't seen— oh my God, you look amazing. It's cool, but it's starting to— it's not as exciting as it was. And it kind of goes down to, uh, we always need some consistent way in life to tap into pleasure and excitement. So you need to figure out a way to get that that has nothing to do with your weight in order to maintain this. Oh, very good, Lisa. I paint at night in order to avoid mindless eating. Oh yeah, Lisa, you are just the perfect person. Please go watch the training. You're gonna get a lot out of it. You're a Sharpie. You, you're already on a good path here. Stacy says, I'm such a sugar addict, give me some advice. I'm lost, oh, 150 pounds over 3 years, but I'm still struggling. Wow, Stacy, great job. Yeah, I put you in the— please, Stacy, please go get the hypnosis session that I give you. The hypnosis session is awesome, but I want you to watch the training I made for you. It's free. It takes a couple seconds to send you the hypnosis session, so I bring you to a page to watch a training. It's like 20 minutes long, but please go watch it because again, It's like being a dry drunk. I just can't state it. It's like you're able to force yourself to do the right thing, but it's always a struggle. And anything that's a struggle 3 years in doesn't have a great chance of long-term success. I'm not being negative, please understand that. I want you to deal with this now, okay? And so if you go watch the training, it'll give you a lot of information. And please understand, both of you, Stacy and Lisa, I'm here every Monday through Friday. I'm here every Monday through Friday, usually around noon Eastern. And I am literally— I will absolutely happy to help you. That— this is my mission. Just so you know, why do I do this? Why am I here? Because I'm— it's a little different motivation than the average weight loss person or fitness person. My motivation comes from my father died when I was 9 years old. He was 54, died of a heart attack. His weight and lifestyle were absolutely huge factors of that. And so for me, when I say I want to help you with your weight, I want you to understand that my motivation is way deeper than just wanting to help you look better. My motivation is that I want you to live as long as you can. And more importantly, I think, or at least as importantly, I want you to have the best quality of life possible while you're here. So I'm here every Monday through Friday to help any of you, and I'm happy to literally help you so you're not struggling. But if you go watch the training, then you'll be able to get on this call and ask more specific questions. And I will absolutely be able to help you move forward. So please go check that out. And great job with that accomplishment. Lisa says, okay, I'm down about 90 pounds, way less than I did in high school, about 1.5 years maintained. All right. I was way off on the time. Okay, Lisa, that's very interesting. 1.5 years. You know, you remind me, I talk about this a lot. I remember one guy specifically, and I remember he lived in Japan. I always remember this about him. He always sticks in my head because I interviewed him 20 years ago, I swear. But he is one that sticks in my head because he lost the weight and was maintaining it, but he was miserable. And he wore that misery like a badge of honor. He's like, I do this miserable, difficult thing. It's miserable. Every day is miserable, but I'm at my weight, but it's miserable. And he always sticks in my head. And I said, you know what I just said now, I kind of reference quality of life because for me, goal weight is not just a number on a scale. Your goal weight is the weight that gives you the best quality of life. And so to understand that, we have to take two things into account. Yes, your weight's on one side, but the other side is how you're living and eating in order to achieve that weight. And if you're feeling miserable in order to achieve a weight, is that the best quality of life? I don't know, that's up for you to decide. But for me, it's like I am obsessed with how can I I will put it in a different term. How can I flow? How can I make living at my goal weight as easy and enjoyable, as comfortable as I possibly can? So it's not just about how can I force myself to be at this number? That's not enough of a goal for me. You can, you can achieve more if you ask a bigger question. And the question I want Lisa and Stacy to start asking is, how can I maintain my success in a more enjoyable, comfortable way? I don't think you've ever even imagined what that answer could be because you've walked so far into the no pain, no gain diet mentality that you believe— I bet if you explore this, I bet deep down you have a belief that I have to be miserable if I'm going to be at this weight. And that's not true because I bet you've never even entertained the concept that you could maintain your weight loss in a way that feels enjoyable, comfortable, relatively easy. I don't think you've ever even entertained that. And so how are you going to get over to those strategies? But I think knowing what you both have achieved, which is very impressive and very unusual, is that you are outliers. And if you start asking better questions like, how can— okay, wow, look what I did. This is great. How can I do this and enjoy myself more? I know you don't have these answers right now, and I know it feels when you first ask that there's no, no way. But if you stick with that question day after day, after a week or two, you're going to start to come up with some new ideas. And now that's the magic road you truly want to be on. That's the magic road you thought you were getting on a year and a half ago, 3 years ago. You thought losing the weight was going to lead to this amazing utopia, and you realize, well, it's better, but it's still miserable. But that's because you have never considered how to do this in an enjoyable, comfortable way. Dieting doesn't bring that question into it, right? It's no pain, no gain. It's being miserable to yourself so you can get your weight down. It assumes that it's going to be miserable. It doesn't have to be. So ask those questions. I think that'll really help you all. Now he says, yep, I still want Dunkin' Donuts every day. Yep, I wake up thinking about pasta and donuts. It's miserable and funny at the same time. Yeah, I get it, I get it, Lisa, I get it. I, I get it. I always say there's no right or wrong, there's only what works for you. And I'll be honest, some people I think don't give a shit if they're happy or not. They just want to be at a certain weight too. That guy, I remember talking to him and, uh, he was not interested in what I was saying. And I appreciate that, was fine, because we all get to choose what we want to do. Um, but I believe you have a belief that you have to feel deprivation in order to be successful with your weight. I bet you have that belief. Uh, yeah. Yes. All right, Wendy says, not mad, overjoyed to finally begin to understand. Thank you. You're welcome, you're welcome, Wendy. And I appreciate you asking these things and recognizing I'm so I'm so happy for you because now, Wendy, if you make your focus— so, so Wendy started by saying, my downfall is night binging sugar and carbs. I said, no, that's not your downfall. Um, there's other things going on there. And then she followed by saying boredom. It just clicked. I'm bored at night. Think about the difference here for Wendy. Wendy starts the conversation by saying, my problem is binging at night on sugar and carbs. She leaves the conversation saying, I'm bored at night. Think about that difference, because one, at the beginning of the conversation, the answer is I have to stop myself from eating sugar and carbs at night. Now the focus is I need to find some interesting things to do at night. Which path do you think is going to be more successful? Which path do you think is going to make you happier? Which path do you think is going to improve your quality of life overall more? That's awesome. So yeah, good for you, Wendy, because if you come up with some things that make you more interested at night, you genuinely look forward to— not guaranteeing this, but, but I can almost assure you that the nighttime eating is going to improve automatically if you can find something at night that's genuinely interesting to you that has nothing to do with food. I think you'll naturally notice that you consume less sugar and carbs at night. What's up, Moira? Moira says, replying to Jackie, stand on scales, ideally naked, and look in the mirror while you eat your favorite sweet thing. This helps you realize that the sweet food is causing you to put on weight. Uh, yes, that is a, that is a, a very powerful technique, you know, if you're willing to do that. That's a powerful one. Uh, Moira says, I bought a new pair of trousers and they are a size smaller. Yippee! All right, Moira. Moira's in the program. Good job. I'm proud of you, Moira. And that's fun, right? And again, by the way, I just want to make clear, we're— hey, we're celebrating looking better too. Please understand that, that absolutely, as the scale goes down, we start to look the way we want to look, and we buy the clothes we want to buy. We celebrate every step of that path too. Okay. But we're also looking for more than just how we look benefits. You know, we want to appreciate I'm thinking clear, I'm feeling better, I'm doing better. You know what I mean? Like, we want to use everything possible to kind of power this journey forward. So great job, Moya. Proud of you. Hi, Sherry. Sherry knows Craving Crusher technique. Yes. That's awesome. All right, everyone, I got to get out of here. Thank you so much. This is a wonderful call today. I really, really appreciate everyone on the questions, comments. Super. I really appreciate it. It's— every day I just am blown away by the awesome people that get on here, and I thank you all for doing that. It's just a joy for me to be on here every day. If you are not in my world, please click the link in my bio. If you're on TikTok, click the picture of me up there. If you are on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, I will put the link in the comments. There it is. Go get it. It takes, you know, 10 seconds to sign up for it, and then you're in my world. I send a bunch of free stuff out all the time. I'll help you out with it. Go check that out. So if you like this, I'm here every Monday through Friday, usually around noon Eastern, to answer your questions, help you out as best I can. Happy to do it. If you can't make the live, it's also a podcast. You can go to any podcast platform, search Program Yourself, then it'll pop up. You can listen anytime you want. And remember, this book is available now, The Tao of Living at Your Goal Weight. This is a wonderful book in my opinion. It's got 82 5-star reviews. 81, my bad. There's one 1-star review. If you want to find out why, you can go read it. And this book is amazing, though. It's very unique. 40 chapters. Each chapter is a page or two. Each chapter is a hypnotic story designed to reprogram your mind so that you think like a naturally thin and healthy person, uh, easily and comfortably. So this book's available on Amazon. You get the Kindle version for $2.99. The physical version is $9.99. So, um, yeah, this is, this is a book and a half. People have said this is the best book on weight they've ever read in their lives, and, uh, I couldn't agree with them more. So go check that out if you're interested in Uh, have a super duper day. Um, Sarah says, thank you so much, you really helped me, love the book too. All right, yeah, Sarah's got the book. Again, I, I can't recommend the book enough, it's really good. Um, so thank you, Sarah, I appreciate you saying that. Thank you everyone, have a super day, and we'll talk soon. Bye everyone.