Having Fun Losing Weight

There we go. Sound now. Do we have sound now, everyone? We should.

Well, I know we do on Tick Tock. Tick Tock has sound, but yeah, the.

We should have sound. No sound here still, huh? You know what? I always screw up the whole.

Oh, okay, now we got it now, Judy, you saying you got it now? All right, I had the meat button on. Okay, back to fun. Back to fun. So for me, things that are fun, like, well, I love running my business, but it's like, I love playing basketball, I love taking my dogs for walks, I love playing guitar, I love reading and learning. I love doing yoga and, and I, I, I love these things, you know, because they make life interesting to me. And it's not just the how good I am at it or not, okay? It's the fact that I keep have something to look forward to, you know? And so for me personally, it's how I've replaced the dopamine I used to get from food with just natural things, okay? And so for me, I'm not a professional guitar player by any stretch of the imagination, but it's like I can practice a song and learn to play and I get good at it. It's fun, right? It's just fun to learn stuff. Now, again, I say everyone's different. You might like to draw, you might like to sew, you might like to, I don't know, I mean, do gymnastics, whatever. But it's like whatever you like to do in your life, you want to have some sense that you're going to keep improving and getting better at it, right? Because that makes it feel better and so you can look at weight loss the same way, right? So right off the bat, my big macro goal for weight loss is to improve my personal development. But then we go into lower levels, more granular levels of what I love about it. How I have fun with weight loss is I love learning new strategies. I love finding new foods. I just got a star fruit. You know, I can't wait to try it. I've never tried star fruit. You know, when I start, I've started like crouching down when I brush my teeth. I know. I said, why does that do with weight loss? For me, it's all, it's all similar, you know, weight loss, feeling better health, all the rest of it. So I crouch down when I'm brushing my teeth. That feels good to me. I'm proud of myself. I'm excited to see what I'm gonna be like next year. And so I've tapped into all the fun and the pleasure of being the person I want to be. And I think this really speaks to a bigger point because I think in this culture, we're never really. We never really learn how to genuinely have fun and enjoy ourselves unless it's like using a product. You know, that's. I would say that's one of the downsides of living in capitalistic societies. Society, right, is that everything is kind of brought down to the only way you can have fun and enjoy things is to pay for something and buy something. And obviously that's not true, and I know you know that on some level, but are you living it? Right? Living it is when you're doing things consistently that are basically free. Right. Again, doesn't cost me a lot to go for a walk or play basketball or at this point, play guitar. I got the guitar. So it's like, you know, these things don't cost me much except for time and effort, but the more I kind of do them, the more fun it becomes. And so for me, weight is the same way. Like, I look at weight loss and ultimately weight maintenance as a. Like a game, you know, and that's another frame you can put around it to make it more fun. I look at managing my weight as a game, and I've been doing that for over 30 years. And I asked the question, not just how can I lose weight, but how can I live in my goal weight, and. And how can I do it as easy and natural as possible? And that is what's led me to have this whole system and this whole life I live. And it's so rich and varied, and I love it. Like, I love it. So you're not going to find me struggling to eat well or maintain my weight, because I love all the things I do to maintain my weight. And so again, what I guess I'm trying to say here specifically is that when it comes to turning weight loss, making weight loss fun, part of it is strategy and part of it is mindset, you know, so the mindset is just even recognizing that it could be fun. Looking at it as a personal development process, looking at it as a game, that's a mindset shift, right? And then the specific strategies are the things you find. So for me, it's the. It's my breakfast strategy. It's how I deal with hunger. If I'm hungry during the day and I want to eat well, it's how I manage my hunger. It's how I nourish myself. It's how I manage my lifestyle so that it supports my eating. It's how I manage my mindset that supports all of it. And so all of these things are things that I'm improving at constantly. And year after year, I just keep getting better and better and better at them, keep moving into a place I never would have imagined. And so it's exciting, it's interesting, it's enjoyable to me. And the best part is, though, this is the part that I really want you to get, is that for me, I anticipate that the rest of my life, however long I'll be alive, I anticipate that I'll still be doing this. So when I'm 90 years old, I will still be looking to optimize and improve what I'm doing. I'll still be looking at how can I feel better? Is it obsessive? You know what I mean? It's fun because it's fun, though. I've said this before, and I know some people respond negatively, but I'm going to say it because I think this way that I think of, like, approaching how I approach my weight and my health and my happiness. I think of it as like, addictive health. Like, I feel addicted to it. Like, all the things that are healthy in my life. The water, the sleeping, the stretching, the nourishing myself, the meditation, the. The. The walking, all this different stuff I do.

It'S addictive. Like, I love it. I keep feeling better and better and better. I keep refining it. And that's fun, too. And I keep reaping the benefits of that. So why can't you do that? You know, it's a totally different mindset, though. I'm not struggling, I'm not hating it. I'm not miserable, I'm not. Can't wait till it's over. I'm not depriving myself. I live a normal life. You know, it's just moderated differently. So anyways, I hope this helps you out because again, the point of it is just to get you to think differently. And again, I'm sure things that I find fun are different than things that you find fun. But if you start to ask the question, how can I make losing weight fun? It can be very interesting because you've probably never asked that question in your life, and you might be surprised at some of the answers you come up with. You might come up with some answers of how to do exactly that, how to lose weight in a fun way. And if you do find those answers, it's going to make your whole weight loss process completely different. It's going to change the whole thing Just like it has for me, just like it has for my clients. We're not struggling. We're not white knuckling it. We're not miserable. We're not depriving ourselves. We're happier than we've ever been. We enjoy the life we're living as much as we ever have. We're happier than we've ever been. This is what I'm trying to say to you because most likely you associate weight loss with misery, pain, struggle, frustration.

That's always there to some. Some degree or another. But when all of a sudden you associate weight loss with fun, with enjoyment, with ease, with excitement, with happiness, it's a game changer. And that's one of the most important things you can do. And it's not hard to do because it's very easy to feel all those things when you do it the right way. So I hope this helps you out if you want to go deeper into this way of thinking, certainly in order to change your mindset, make sure you click the link in my bio or go to program yourself in.com, go get the free hypnosis session that I've made and go listen to it. It's 10 minutes long. It's called the New Thing Me. It's a kickstart session designed to get you all fired up and motivated to lose weight and see where it goes from there. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Any weight loss questions are welcomed. I hope you had a nice weekend. Mario. Mario's here. What's up, Mario? Mario says I'm listening on Spotify, but lives always feel even better. Well, that's awesome. I'm doing great. I'm doing great. Great. Yes. And yeah. How are you doing, Mario? Someone was just asking about you last week. That's funny. Musta. Did you hear that? Is that why you got on the live? Yeah. Someone asked how you were doing, so that's great. Yeah, I am doing super duper.

Shelly Yip says great. I'll try living that way. Self improvement is something I haven't linked with eating well. Oh, that's great. That's great. Then I'm super glad again. Yeah. Taking the weight loss rapid and personal development. I think that's one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself. I really think that is at the ground floor of making this whole process different and not only more enjoyable, but more effective. That's another key point here. Again, I'm not out here shoveling happy horseshit at you. I want you to get Control of your weight. That's my main goal for being here. Please understand. So at least at this moment in time, my main goal is to help you manage your weight. I love personal development. At some point in my life, my main goal may be to help people, just straight up personal development. But for right now, at this moment in my life, my obsession and my focus is to help people master their weight. I have just found the best way to do it is to do it through the lens and the framing of personal development. So yeah, when you start looking at it that way, it changes a lot for a lot of reasons. But again, one of the main reasons is that you find happier, more healthy ways to do it, you know, to manage it.

What's up melancholy? Seen you in a little while. Either always live the punishment by diet and exercise method. Which makes sense that I would quit. Yes, exactly. That's what. What most people do. Not your fault. Again, the diet industry is not there to help you. The diet industry is a branch of the food industry, right? Literally. Weight Watchers was owned by Heinz. Jenny Craig was owned by Nestle Atkins Food Products owned by the same company as onions, pretzels and Cinnabon Slim Fast owned by the same company, owns Ben and Jerry's ice cream. These companies do not want you to lose weight long term and eat healthy and all that. That's not their goal. Their goal is to get you addicted to food and to get you to eat as much as possible. And they influence you through their food marketing and their products. And they influence you through their diet bullshit. And so most people associate pain, just pain as a catch all, let's just say pain, pain, stress, deprivation, frustration, difficulty, hard to weight loss, negative. You associate negative stuff to weight loss, most of you. And it doesn't have to be that way. And if it is that way, it's forever going to feel like a struggle, as you can imagine. So yes, not a surprise that you would quit when you hate it. So.

What'S up Janelle? Janelle says hello. I'm new and loving your videos. Well, thank you Janelle. I appreciate you listening and yeah, welcome. Make sure that you go to my bio or go to program yourself then. Actually you know what I see on Facebook. So I'm gonna put this link in here right now. I'll just type it in. But make sure you go here and get the free hypnosis session I give you. It is.

A nice place to start to go a little bit deeper with this material.

Than just the videos, which are great too. But the hypnosis session is a really good one, and it's only 10 minutes, but you'll get to experience hypnosis, and you'll most likely get to experience what it feels like to be more motivated.

Oh, Mario, I did hear that. All right. Nice. Yeah, you did hear it. Nice. That's awesome that you're here. All right. Mario says, I'm struggling with losing the last seven pounds, but very happy with my progress. It's been months since I've lost any weight. Oh, very interesting. All right. And I'll be honest, I'm scared to gain any back. I don't want that scared feeling to last forever. I get that, Mario. But again, it all. I think where you're at, the solution begins by relaxing and calming down right now. So a lot of people do. We all do this to some degree, I think, before we learn how to run our minds, it makes sense. But a lot of us just kind of in the fear. I'm just so scared I'm gonna. I'm so scared. I'm so nervous I'm gonna put the weight back on, you know, And I get that. I. I totally understand that point. But the first thing you wanna do is you can dissipate that fear. You can dissipate that stress and anxiety quite a bit by relaxing. Relaxing your stomach, your chest, your shoulder. Ground yourself. Breathe, calm down, relax. Empower yourself. Center yourself. Ground yourself.

Now look at it. You know what I mean? And we want to turn that worry and that stress into. Let me figure out a way where I can comfortably live at my goal weight forever. Let me figure out a way I can, you know, slice off this last £7. You know what? Can I. Can I do it comfortably? How can I do it easily? How can I do it on a grounded, calm way? You see? So right off the bat, Mario, you can just. You can change like that. I'm not saying you instantly have the answers. Okay. But what I'm saying is the way you're approaching it can change instantly. All you need to do is really, again, just kind of ground and center yourself. Because if you're stressed and you're worried and you're scared, it's a different state of being. You're a different version of you, and you're less likely to come up with solutions and strategies and answers that you might otherwise be able to come up and connect to very easily or relatively easily. So great job maintaining your weight, Mario. Seven pounds. I also. I wouldn't frame it in terms of. I'm struggling with losing last seven pounds. I would frame it differently because, you know, first of all, I don't like, sometimes people get so obsessed with the weight, but I want to make everything about my goal weight, right? So I'm struggling with losing that last seven pounds. That really gets you fixated on the seven extra pounds as opposed to the goal weight you want to be at. So I would much rather say I'm working on dropping the last seven pounds and getting to my goal weight. And I want to get to my goal weight because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? So that helps kind of motivate us. And listen, we always got to work on our motivation, folks. We can't just assume we're really motivated because a lot of times we're not. We always have to nurture and cultivate our motivation. And so what I'm saying to Mario here is that even when you're seven pounds away from your goal weight, I want to frame it with the goal weight being the bullseye, the main focus of my mind. I don't want to make the main focus the seven pounds I got left. There's no pleasure in that seven pounds. There is in your goal weight. And so every time you fixate and focus on your goal weight and what that means to you, and again, if you do deeper work and that means more to you, what happens is you start to feel a sense of motivation. You say, okay, I'm working on dropping that last seven pounds to get down to my goal weight so I can live there for the rest of my life and feel calm, confident. I'm going to get off the roller coaster. I'm going to feel good about myself, my other clothes that fit me the way I want them to, I'll feel comfortable investing in more clothes because I know I'm going to be at this weight. And so I'm really looking forward to dialing down my calories that last £7 so I can get to my goal weight and stay there in the best, most effective long term way possible. So again, I'm just riffing here, but you get the idea. I keep focusing on what I want and the words I'm using are literally impacting how I feel. Again, if I just focus on the fact I got seven more pounds to lose, I'm just seven pounds away. If I can just get goddamn seven pounds, I lost this. I'm so close. I'm seven pounds away. Right? Hear me right here. I'm saying I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed, I'm irritated. You know what I mean? I'm impatient that's not the place you're going to find the best answers from. That's not the place where the most motivation comes from. I want to ground myself, get focused on. What I want to do is calm myself and find the way forward. That's going to serve me best. So the words we use have a huge impact on how we, you know, understand things, conceptualize things, and then how we feel about them. Melancholy says, started listening. Oh, started listing what I'm excited about by losing weight rather than listing what I hate and need to lose weight to change. For example, I'm excited to see collarbones again. Also looking forward to not maxing out my seatbelt and watching space grow between me and the steering wheel. Okay, Melancholy, that's a good start. I like those, and I like that idea. What I would want to do if I were you is I'd want to go past aesthetic goals.

External, physical, aesthetic, aesthetic goals. And I would want to start focusing on how you're going to feel, how you're going to think of yourself, what benefits you're going to experience at that weight. So, again, those are fine things, and I think they're great. They're positive. But I'd want to say, okay, Melancholy, when you're at your goal weight.

How do you feel? What do you think about yourself? What are you looking forward to? What do you love about being at your goal weight? So I want to go beyond just what I can see and how I look. I want to go into the feelings I'm going to have, the thoughts I'm going to have, the behaviors and the things I'm going to do, adventures I might go on, the situations I'm going to experience. I really can't wait for that. That. That I think is another way to go even a little bit deeper. But nice job with that.

Joe just says, always great advice. Thank you. Appreciate that. What's up, Jen? Jen says, I hope you're well. I am well. I'm doing great. I really am feeling good. I had such a nice weekend. I gotta say, it was a very nice weekend. We had a long weekend. My daughter came home. It was just like the perfect weather for sleeping. Oh, my God. It got cool. It was fall. It was raining. Oh, so nice to sleep. Yesterday. I did nothing. I just hung out and I fell asleep when I wanted to, woke up when I wanted to. It was wonderful. I really had a great weekend. So I hope you all did too. Mine was super. I love this time of year. Love having my daughter around. That was nice. It was it's just been fun. So it was. It was a great time, doing great. Karen says that's where I'm at. Need to lose 15 more and have installed for three months. All right. I mean, again, we're going to go into the language just because language matters. Words aren't just words. Language definitely matters. First thing I would say to Karen is that you do not need to lose 15 more.

You do not need to lose 15 more. I'm picking on words, but words matter, so I have to. So you don't need to lose any more weight. You want to lose more weight. Now, why that is, I don't know. It's different for each person. But I personally would never say I need to lose a certain amount of weight, because it's not true. You never need to lose a certain amount of weight ever? Never ever. I've spoken with people that their doctors have said if you don't lose weight, you're going to have a heart attack, probably and die. And they haven't lost weight. So I. I don't believe the word need is accurate here. I believe much more that the accurate word would be, I want to lose 15 more. And I'd want to know why that is.

So I don't know how much weight you lost, Karen, but if you've lost, let's just say you've lost 30 pounds and now for three months, you've been at the same weight, you know. Three months. Yeah. I would say now I'm looking more at your motivation than I am your metabolism, because you could lose weight for three months and then you could have a month of plateau, and then your body kick starts in again and you start losing weight. But when you get to three months, typically what I see is that you lost weight and now you're hovering around the same calorie consumption as you were three months ago. So what I want to do, looking at assuming that it's more motivation, is I'm looking to motivate myself. And when you say to yourself, I need to lose the weight, you actually decrease your motivation most of the time. Because when you say I need to lose the weight, you remove your autonomy. You remove your freedom to choose. Right. Because you need to. My doctor told me I need to lose 15 pounds. You know, the second you say it that way, it's not so much about you wanting to, it's about someone else saying you have to. And typically when we feel like we have to do something, we kind of. We rebel against it a bit. So that's just the first thing. So if I was working or coaching you, Karen, I would say, why do you want to lose 15 more when you get to that weight that's 15 pounds lighter? What is life going to be like for you? And by focusing on those answers, you would feel more motivated. And now you're in a position to begin to look at what you're doing and what would be the easiest calories to slice out to start moving you towards that direction. Hope that makes sense. Thanks for sharing that. Invincible Singh says, are probiotic supplements really effective to improve gut health?

I would say that there's probably no definitive answer on that because really understanding gut health and microbiome is such a relatively new science that I would never believe probiotic bullshit messages. And personally, if I wanted to impact my gut health, I'm always going to focus first and foremost on whole natural foods that humans have been eating for billions of years before I focused on probiotics. So I focus on gut health a lot in my life.

That being said, I don't use any supplements or probiotics or prebiotics. I use greens, vegetables, fruits, whole grains. These are what I focus on eating, you know, to have the best gut health I can have. So that's my suggestion there. Don't confuse yourself. All the supplements, I think a lot of it's.

Abuzo. It says, I just dream about being able to fit into my new dress. Yep, again, that's a good one. But I always suggest you, your folks are doing yourself a disservice. And I know, I know you don't believe me. I already know that. But I know you think just thinking about yourself at your goal weight, wearing your favorite outfit is enough motivation, and it rarely is, you know, which is to say, just focusing on how you look is rarely not enough motivation for people. I wish it was. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to be here to be the Grinch and take away your. Your favorite thought about weight loss. But, you know, if. If wanting to look good was enough motivation to lose weight, then you all would be at your goal weight because you all want to look. You always want to wear your clothes and look good. That's not new. You've been thinking that for decades. Probably.

And again, have you been at your goal weight, though?

Probably not. So again, for most people, just wanting to look a certain way is not enough motivation for them. It's a motivator. Right? Again, I'm not saying it's not motivating. It is, but it's just not enough. So you Got to dig deeper for a deeper motivation. This is something most people have no idea how to do, which is to say, here I go. That you probably weigh what you want most likely, to some degree. To some degree, you weigh what you want away.

Which is to say that the first hurdle most people have to jump over in order to have any chance at really getting their weight under control is their motivation. You know, that you need to get more motivated than you currently are.

So there we go, Diane. Diane's got a good answer, though. Trying to save my knees and breathing and happening. Yeah, I think those are great motivators. Now, there's a difference, though, Diane. So you're on the right path, and you're far ahead of people that just want to look better. And you can want to look better, too, too, Diane. Okay, so I'm not saying that that's a bad goal. It's a great goal. Just not enough. So now you got trying to save my knees and breathing and happening. So I'm going to assume happening is just like being alive, imagining. Correct me if I'm wrong, but yeah, if, you know, listen, if you're. If you're struggling with weight and especially if you're moving towards the obesity category, your knees and your joints and your hips and things are probably suffering somewhat, there's a good chance of that. And so I think that that's a good goal. But how you make it even more impactful is to tap into the pain and the pleasure of your knees. Say, for example, you can do this with the breathing and the happening as well, but you can look at your knees and you can think, okay, what is the reality of living with these knees, with this weight and tap into the pain of it. Where does it show up the most? Where do your knees bother you the most? Maybe it's walking. Maybe it's taking your dog for a walk. Maybe it's getting out of the car and going to the store. Maybe it's climbing stairs.

Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah. So Diane had a little bit more actually happening. I am getting there, but want to hike. Great. Okay. So I think this is a great, great example. Okay. Say Diane starts. And I don't know Diane's story. So I'm just going to kind of make up some stuff here. Maybe I'll write, maybe I won't. Doesn't matter. Proves the point. Maybe Diane starts and her weight is causing her knees to be really uncomfortable a lot. Okay. And she's having trouble breathing, doesn't have much stamina. Okay. And so what happens Is this is usually a more powerful goal than just wanting to look better. Okay. Because again, wanting to look better is valuable in some context, but considering how much you move and your knees factor into your day to day quality of life, that's just a bigger thing. Okay. So focusing on the knees.

What I would do is I like to dive into the pain and the pleasure of the knees. So again, I'm thinking to myself, in the beginning, my knees hurt. How does this affect me in life? Where does it affect me in life? And so now I'm thinking about the specific situations, the stairs that I may have to climb, like getting in and out of cars, the situations where my knees really hurt me the most. I'm thinking about those and then I'm thinking to myself that is directly made worse by the extra weight I'm carrying. Because it's extra pressure pushing down on those knees. I want to lighten up so there's less pressure pushing on my knees and my knees can feel better and stronger. Now I'm going over to the pleasure side of the knees and I want to imagine my knees feeling stronger. I want to imagine myself being lighter. I want to imagine my knees being more comfortable, more flexible. Now I want to imagine those situations. Me climbing the stairs comfortably, easily. I've got the stamina, the strength to do it. It's easy. I don't think about it anymore. I would imagine myself getting out of the car comfortably, my knees strong, supporting me, my body light and, you know, healthy to support my knees, you know, so you can go deeper into that motivation. But I think you're right on the right path. I am, and so I'm glad and great job too. Making the, the changes to move in that direction that you want to go in.

Says, and I'll be honest, I'm scared to gain any back. I don't want that scary going to last forever. Okay. Yeah, right, it said that.

Yeah. So again, it's, it's normal to be fearful of stuff, folks, and especially getting the weight back. I get the gaining the weight back piece of it. You have to understand that the fear you have about gaining weight is directly related to how you lose the weight, though. Please understand that. Right. Meaning if you do some really extreme diet.

You'Re going to be more fearful that you're going to gain the weight back because in the back of your mind, you know, you're not going to be able to keep up your crazy plan. You know what I mean? So the more extreme the plan you use to lose weight, the more anxiety and stress and fear you're going to experience about gaining weight back. Right. Because they're directly related. The more extreme it is, the less likely you're gonna keep it up for long. The less extreme, the easier it is to keep it up for long. So, again, one of the most important ways to manage that fear of gaining weight back is to focus on how you lose weight in the first place and how you expect to maintain it forever.

I'll just leave it there.

Shelley Yip says I feel very free and relaxed at goal weight. I crept up a bit, but doing the job to get back there. Oh. Recovered from bowel cancer. So health is my top priority. Two years clear. Well, congrats. I'm happy to hear that. Yeah. And so, yeah, so Chell, or Shell, if I'm saying it right, that for you is your, you know, that's the gift in a sense. I literally, I was just having this conversation today that, you know, you. You have to. You've got to craft your motivation around your own experience. Right. So for me, for example, my biggest motivator for my weight is to live to be alive. Right? You can't develop personally if you're not alive. So for me, being alive is my number one. And my father died at 54 of a heart attack. Okay. So for me, my heart is one of the main things I'm focused on. And so I use that, that, that experience and what was originally fear and stress, that I was going to die of a heart attack young, I use that and I transmute it into motivation. And so I want to take care of my eating and my health at a high level because I want to live a long time. And I've got direct evidence that if I don't take care of my health, that I may not be around long. So again, I've taken that, that painful thing, that challenge, and I've transmuted into a form of motivation. So you do the same thing, Shell. Right. Again, you got bowel cancer. Bowel cancer specifically. Right. There's a lot of cancers that are directly impact or potentially influenced by weight to begin with, but bowel cancer specifically is probably even more so going to have an impact or be impact or influenced by your eating, what you eat regularly. And so as you clean up your eating, make it healthier, more natural, it's probably going to support your. You being cancer free as well and living as long and as happily as you can. So, yeah, keep it up, Shell. Nice job. All right, everybody gotta get out of here. Again, it was nice talking to you. Thanks for the comments, the questions. I really appreciate them. If you're not in my world, please CL the link in my bio, go get the free hypnosis session. It is called the New Fit Me. It's a kickstart session. All you gotta do is click the link in my bio, go to program yourself, then you'll find it. And if you like this, I'm here every Monday through Fridays around noon Eastern answering your questions. Anything you have to ask, feel free to ask it. I'm here to help you. And if you like listening to this and can't make the live, it's also a podcast. You can search program yourself then on the podcast platforms and then you can listen to it anytime you want. So have a super day and we'll talk soon. Bye.