Imagining Yourself Thin & Healthy

Everyone, welcome to today's program, Yourself Thin podcast. I want to start this one off by having you Imagine that tomorrow morning you wake up at your goal weight before you even open your eyes. You're lying in bed and you are at your goal weight. Once you take a second and think about how that would feel to be lying in bed at your goal weight as the person you want to be, notice how you breathe. Notice that sense of relief of being where you've wanted to be for so long. Internalize that, that calm, that grounded. That feeling good about yourself. Now I want you to imagine hopping out of bed and moving through your morning. Imagine yourself, maybe go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, come back and slow down as you imagine yourself getting dressed in the exact outfit that you would like to wear. Imagine yourself getting dressed in the exact clothes you want to wear and them fitting exactly the way that you want to. So I want you to notice the peacefulness of it, the calm of putting clothes on that you know fit you right and that feel good once they're on. Notice how that feels. Notice how you breathe. Now I want you to imagine moving through the rest of tomorrow as you imagine it to go. So you have some idea how tomorrow's going to go, but imagine going through tomorrow however you expect it to go at your goal weight, as the person who's living at your goal weight. The little things you do, like getting in and out of the car, um, how it'd feel to walk to the store, how it feels to carry things, how it feels to climb stairs, how it feels to get up and down, uh, out of chairs. All the little things that you expect to happen tomorrow, go into them and imagine them from the perspective of being at your goal weight, exactly as the person you want to be. How would that feel? Use your power of imagination to step into the reality that you'd like to experience and contextualize it with the reality that you typically live. So don't just think of yourself being thin. Think about yourself being thin and healthy in your life and the scenarios that you typically find yourself in. Notice how you communicate with people. Imagine the people you expect to run into, the people that you know and the people that you don't. Notice how you interact with them. At your goal weight? How do you speak? How do you hold yourself? How do you breathe? Notice how your voice sounds. Notice how you speak, the rhythm, the tone, the softness of it, the fullness of it. And notice how it feels to run into people that you know that you may not have seen in a while. Notice how it feels to run into strangers. Maybe you're ordering a sandwich or getting something from people you don't even know. How does it feel to exist in your world at your goal weight as the person who you want to be. Internalize that. Step into that reality within your mind and in your body. Experience it firsthand through your imagination. And now continue to move through the day doing whatever it is that you expect to do tomorrow at your goal weight as that version of you. And imagine moving for dinner. Imagine moving through your evening, whatever you expect to do as that version of you. How do you behave? What do you do? What do you think? What do you feel? The more details you can tap into, the more powerful this becomes. And now imagine yourself going to bed, lying in bed at your goal weight, reflecting on the day and anticipating another great day tomorrow. Now, this little exercise we just did is so simple but so powerful because one of the big mistakes dieters make is that they entrench themselves in thinking of themselves as an overweight person. And they kind of make the assumption that I need to beat myself with a stick to get myself to do the right thing so that I become thin, so that I can then think of myself as a thin, healthy person. And I think most people got it exactly backwards. In Program Yourself Thin, we start the whole process of weight loss by imagining and thinking of ourselves as the thin, healthy person that we want to be. Another way to put it is that this is an inside-out approach where we start to clarify who exactly do we want to be. What is the goal? The goal is not just a number on a scale. The goal is to be a certain version of ourselves. And the weight is one piece of that, but there's so much more to it. It's all the things we just talked about. It's the little things. It's the getting dressed and how you feel while you do that. It's the comfort of walking up and down stairs and just moving throughout your day. It's the sense of confidence of walking into situations and feeling good about yourself. It's hearing your voice when you are confident, grounded, and calm. And the more you step into that— and notice you can step into it instantly. Sure, we can make this. We know that we can imagine something inside that's not necessarily true on the outside yet. We know that. But if we start to imagine who we want to be regularly, what ends up happening is you start becoming familiar with it. You start creating the neural connections and the associations, the feelings, the thoughts, the behavior patterns that make it a reality, as opposed to entrenching ourselves and being the overweight, out-of-control person who has to change everything in order to lose weight. We let that process go, and we gently and comfortably step into who we want to be right away, first thing, first thing you do. And you instantly notice that by imagining that, you start to feel more relaxed, more calm, more grounded. You start to think differently, you start to see things differently. You start to imagine yourself behaving differently, and next thing you know, you find yourself in these actual situations. And now you start to feel like you have a choice— not the choice of doing the right thing or the wrong thing, but the choice of being the overweight person who makes that decision, or being the thin, healthy, happy person who makes this decision. And once you start to think that way, you start to naturally choose that because it feels better in the moment. It allows us to feel good about ourselves right there and then. But the cool thing is that that good feeling right now leads to more good feelings in the future. And so this is the way, this is the alternate path to trying to force yourself and beat yourself to make the right choices, is to, in your mind, through your imagination, step into the person you want to be. Bring that person into your day-to-day reality. Learn from that person through your imagination. How to be the person you want to be. And this way feels like you're being gently led in the direction you want to go, and rather than pushed with heels dug in and trying to force yourself to do something that you keep resisting. And I think you're going to find that that approach is much more effective and much more enjoyable. And if you want to go deeper into this process, click the link in my bio because I've got a free hypnosis session for you. It's a complete session, it's called The New Thin Me, and it goes in depth with this where it clarifies and connects you to the exact person who you want to be and and helps you step into that reality in your own life. It's completely free. Go check it out. Um, all you do is click the link in my bio, click the picture of me up there, um, or go to this link I'm gonna put in the chat window over on Facebook, YouTube, and the like. And yes, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. That was kind of nice, right? I never do any sort of really, uh, hypnosis or, uh, visualization exercise on the podcast. It's funny because in the podcast I'm always talking kind of in teacher coach teacher mode. I would say this isn't really my coach mode. Coach mode is a little gentler, but, uh, this is my podcast mode, I suppose, um, which is kind of funny. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't— I probably scare some people off because sometimes they get a little aggressive. But, uh, yes, my normal coach Obviously hypnotist mode is a lot softer and gentler, and that was a little bit of an experience of it. So yes, if you go get the hypnosis session, you'll get a full-on experience of that. And, uh, that's really more of how I actually speak to my clients to help them, uh, create the changes they're looking for. But yes, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. We are here on a beautiful Tuesday. I'm telling you, it was so funny. I was just talking about this with someone today that it It's right. It's like the last couple of days have reminded me, I remember when I was a kid, I remember we went to Florida and we got on the plane and it was literally like snow, ice storm. And then, you know, 2 hours later we get off the plane and it's 80 degrees in the sun. And metaphorically, it's kind of felt like that the last 2 days, you know, because all of a sudden there's a time change and instantly the next 2 days has been like 65 degrees.. And so it's just, it's such a dramatic shift in reality. Um, but I'm here for it. I like it. And all that snow's melting. I'm good. If I don't see any snow for a couple months, 9 months, I'm great. But yeah, any questions, feel free to ask them. What's up, Jane? Jane says, thoughts on binging? Um, yeah, I got lots of thoughts on binging. Uh, my first thought is that you got to get more specific than that. Don't, don't just, don't make it vague. That's like saying, um, you got thoughts on eating? Well, yeah, I got a million thoughts on eating. Which specific thoughts are you asking about? And so when you say thoughts on binging, your mind generalizes binging and all forms of it into just one big category, and that instantly leads you away from the solution. So again, anytime you have a challenge in your life, certainly with weight, it's really important right off the bat that you start to drill down into it. Get specific. What specific types of binging? Because I could sit here, Jane, and talk about, you know, binging on Halloween candy. That's probably not what you mean. I could talk about bingeing when you go to an Indian buffet for lunch. I'm pulling off my own memories, obviously, but that's probably not what you're thinking about, you know. And so I could give you answers to that specific scenario and it would be practically useless to you. So again, make sure that you get specific because you're probably talking about, you know, oh, here we go. When I start to want candy, I will go and buy not one but two or three chocolate bars and eat them all. Okay, great. So I think Now we can get specific. So thank you. Thank you for making that specific, because I'm not saying I got the perfect answer for you now that you've been more specific, but I think my, my suggestion is going to be way more accurate now. Okay. So right off the bat, again, I want to reinforce this idea that a lot of times where the problem shows up is not where it was created. So I believe this scenario that Jane's talking about, when I start to want candy, I will go and buy not one, but two or three. Is a perfect example of what I'm talking about, because Jane's looking at the buying the candy as the main problem. I go and I'm, I'm going to go buy chocolate now, right? I started to want it. And then I go, not buy one, but I buy three. What the hell's wrong with me? Right? And it starts to look at that little moment of time and says, there's something wrong with you. You went to buy one, but instead you're buying three. What's wrong with you? But I want to know what's going on before that, because I think that's where all the interesting stuff's happening. And so right off the bat, the first thing I'm going to— because again, I'm not saying this is guaranteed, but I found a pretty common pattern when it comes to bingeing is that right before that, there's restricting. I feel like bingeing is a response to restricting. Over-restrict, binge. Over-restrict, overeat. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. And I'm not saying there aren't other triggers for it. There certainly are. But I would say the number one trigger of bingeing is over-restricting, you know, certainly emotional things and habits. And there's other stuff as well. But that's the first one I'd pretty much start with, you know, and see if it's there. So notice, though, Jane's question isn't about the restricting part, not even focusing on that. We're just going right to where the problem presents itself. I'm not buying one, I'm buying 3, and then I'm eating them all. What's wrong with me? And so again, I give you the— whatever you'd call it, the quote that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I don't want to focus on the buying part and the eating part of you not eating all 3 and just eating 1 or just buying 1. I want to go a little bit before and see if we can find an easier way to prevent this whole thing. And I think if we look at that and if Jane's honest with herself, I am going to guess that what happens before the buying 1, 2, 3 candy bars is that she's saying, I want candy, but you can't have candy. No, no, I want candy. No, nope. Nope, I can't have it. I can't have it. You can't have candy. And then it's like we blast through and buy 3 of them, right? So, Jen, give us some more details. Thank you. Um, it often happens after I eat a normal meal with a small dessert, and then I am drawn to wanting more sugar. Okay, well, that's an interesting one. Um, so I'm gonna still say that, okay, I eat a meal, a normal, healthy, good meal. I have a normal, healthy dessert, and then I start to crave sugar. Common, right? We can all relate to that. But this is where I'm gonna almost guarantee that you say, no, you can't have more sugar, you just had a dessert, you just had it. You want to lose weight, right? You want to lose weight, right? No, you can't have more chocolate. No, you can't have more chocolate. So Jane follows it up, maybe a sugar addiction. I don't think so. I, I'm not saying you don't have a sugar addiction, please understand. I don't think the sugar addiction— addiction's a, uh, you know, that's another one, be careful of that word. There's a lot of— I think addiction can be thrown around too quick. And the big issue I have with addiction, not that it doesn't exist, um, but that sometimes it becomes the definition when it's not really the accurate definition. Could be the thing here, but I'd rather explore other stuff first. After you have the dessert and you start craving sugar, what do you say to yourself, Jane? That, that's what I want to know. Do you say, okay, you can have a little bit more dessert, you can have some more chocolate, or do you say, no, we can't have any more, we're done for the day? That's the first thing I want to know. And I can almost guarantee it's— now we're done. We're done. That's it. You had your dessert, you had your sugar, now you're done. That's what I'm going to guess. And I'll wait to see if Jane answers this, but even if she doesn't, and even if that's not what she says, a lot of you, that's what you say because you live in this all-or-nothing world. And the all-or-nothing world can even exist— well, I just gave myself dessert, so I'm not all or nothing. I gave myself dessert. Yeah, but then you want more. And if you look at your history, there's probably been months or years or decades of binge eating lots of chocolate at night. So you might go from a, a regular night at the alley, 2, 3 chocolate bars, and now all of a sudden you say no chocolate bars. If you do that, that's a, that's a path. But I think a lot of people get stuck in that path where the solution is not to eat any chocolate bars. That's, that's the right answer. That's the all. But then the craving gets so intense, but you've been saying no. And so now you just burst out of the gate with all this energy. Now you eat 3 chocolate bars. And what's interesting is that when people start to look at this, they say, oh my God, yeah, I've been doing that for 10 years. 10 years I say no chocolate bars at night, then I go to the store and buy 3 chocolate bars. What's going on? Well, again, what I would suggest doing— and again, please understand that this is in the context of— I believe what's going to move you forward most with your weight and your eating is that you start to experiment with different ideas. You don't know what to do. Biggest, biggest bullshit that dieting conditions into us is that there's one solution for everyone and that the answers are black and white and you just have to follow them. And I think that's bullshit. I think a lot of us have to kind of get to know ourselves better, try some different things, see what works, see what doesn't, and adjust accordingly moving forward one step at a time. So instead of saying no chocolate bars, I might say, okay, I'm going to eat half a chocolate bar tonight. Or if I typically eat 3 chocolate bars, I'll eat 1 chocolate bar tonight. Now notice when you're in a calm, relaxed state, it's the afternoon. You're so used to, oh, well, in 5 hours I'm going to say no chocolate bars. But when the reality hits, you can't stop yourself. So in the afternoon we say, okay, I'll have 1 chocolate bar. It feels like absolute— oh, well, that's not going to work. But the reality is you're usually eating 3. So that's a 66% reduction. That's a great first step if you could do it, you know. But notice the difference between no chocolate bars afterwards and 3 chocolate bars. There's a big difference. So Jane follows it up and says, I've already had a glass of wine and a nice meal, and then it sort of caps it off with dessert. So it is like, I— if I have more, I will feel even better. Yeah, Jane, listen to what I'm saying though. I get that, but before dinner, when you're thinking about what you're going to do that night, because it's on your mind, right? You, you do this all the time. I don't know how often you, you talk as if you do it every night. I'm sure it's probably not every night, by the way. That's a, that's a different story. But most nights, or regularly, it's— let's say it's, it's 2 in the afternoon and you're thinking about what you're going to do, um, that night. And you're thinking, okay, I'm gonna have a nice dinner, I'm gonna have a glass of wine, I'm gonna have a dessert, and then I'm done, right? That's probably what you think. It is almost every night. Okay, Jane, so this is every night. So what I'm curious about is what you think is going to happen at 2 in the afternoon. At 2 in the afternoon, Jane, what are you saying to yourself? What are your expectations you're setting for yourself for dinner that night? I'm going to guess that it's I'm going to have some dinner, I'm going to have a glass of wine, I'm going to have dessert, and then I'm done. I'm on my plan now. That's it. I'm done. After dinner and dessert, I'm done. Is that what you expect? Or at 2:00 in the afternoon, you're saying, you know what, I'm going to have dinner, I'm going to have some wine, I'm going to have dessert, and then I'm going to eat 3 candy bars. Which one is it? Because that's going to start to reveal a lot about what ends up happening ultimately. Because I think, Jane, what you're going to notice, and this is kind of a pattern for you, If this pattern's happening every single night, and this happens for almost all of you, this is a common one where you have this— we'll call it binging, overeating, whatever, you know, we'll blur the words up a little bit, whatever, we get the idea. I'm eating too much, let's just say at night. And it can happen that you do this every night or most nights. And so you're repeating the same process, but you're not actually looking at the real process that's happening. You're living in this dual reality. Where during the day you're saying, I'm not going to have anything after dessert every day, but then every night you're going and binging and eating 3 chocolate bars and never in between do the two meet. And so you live in this dual reality where during the day, yeah, I'm not going to— I'm not eating after dessert tonight. I'm on my plan. I'm not eating after dessert. And then the actual 8:00 comes and now you're like, let's just keep it going. Let's keep the train rolling. Then you wake up, you say, god damn it, why did I do that? I'm not tonight. No way tonight, I'm not doing that. And you do that until about 5 or 6 o'clock, and then you say, you know what, let's keep this rolling. You wake up, um, that's it, tonight I'm not doing this. Uh, 5 o'clock, right? And it's like we all do this to some degree where it's almost a split reality. And it is a split reality. We're all multiple personalities and we have going to different trance states that are literally like different personalities. And I think this is what tortures dieters more than anything. All right, here we go. So Jane says, I usually have a good dinner and don't regularly drink wine. That is usually on weekends, but the sugar craving starts. Um, now notice Jane is— I've asked this question a couple times, but, but it's like her brain is avoiding it. I'm asking you, Jane, at 2 in the afternoon right now, let's know right now, what do you expect is going to happen tonight? Or more specifically, because I don't want to get into tonight, Yesterday at noontime, what did you expect you were going to do that night? Did you expect that you were going to have dinner, have dessert, and then stop? No chocolate bar. Was that the expectation you had, or did you expect that you were going to have dinner, have dessert, and then eat 3 chocolate bars? Which one did you expect during the day? That's my question. That's the only question I'm asking. I don't want to know about wine, um, all the rest of it. I just want to know that. You're eating chocolate, 3 chocolate bars most nights. And my question to you is, you sitting here right now, and I want you to reflect on yesterday, what did you expect you were going to do at night? Did you expect you were going to stop after dessert, or were you expecting that you were going to eat 3 chocolate bars? That's the question. And I think a lot of people can learn from this because we all do it. And I think we have to recognize it because it's a counterintuitive, illogical thought and idea. It's weird. That during the day, most of our lives, we can say, that's it, I'm not gonna eat sugar tonight. And then the night comes and we go and eat sugar. It's very disorienting and very strange. So we have to gain some understanding and peace with that if we're going to be able to move forward, I think. So I'll wait, wait to see what Jane says here. Oh, here we go. Um, Jane says, I planned yesterday to go to the gym, play pickleball, and then eat well, no dessert, and I was able to do that. Okay, well, now we're getting two different things, but that's all right. You said you had a small dessert. Um, oh, okay, you planned to have no dessert. I see what you're saying. Okay, I planned yesterday to go to the gym, play pickleball, and then eat well, no dessert, and I was able to do that. One good day and then a bad day. Um, so, oh, and I was able to do that. So, Jane, did you, did you have dessert yesterday or not? That's kind of important. Not really, but I think it is because I think And this isn't a pick to pick on you, Jane. This is— most people aren't really good with their awareness. They're not really good with remembering what they did, to be honest, because a lot of people build up a wall of denial in order to protect their emotional state. And so you started this by saying you had a small dessert. Okay, you had no dessert. So you had— you had a glass of wine, a meal, and then you went and ate 3 chocolate bars. Right. But the plan was that you were not going to eat chocolate bars. That's what I'm trying to say. So the plan was that you were going to go do healthy stuff and then you were not going to eat chocolate bars at night. And next thing you know, you're eating 3 chocolate bars. And so what I think happens is that you're now in this pattern of consciously saying, no, I'm not going to eat dessert tonight. Subconsciously, you're imagining and planning on eating dessert, right? Because things don't just spontaneously happen. There's a pattern. Okay. And I think what's going on is you live the day thinking you're going to be perfect at night. The night comes and you way overrespond to that and then eat a lot more. So what I'm saying is shoot in the middle, maybe where you start to institute having a chocolate bar every night. All day long you plan on eating a chocolate bar, and it's weird. I know it feels weird, but if you did that, according to you, that would be 2 less chocolate bars a night on average, and that would be a tremendous difference. But what happens is most of the excitement we get in life and the pleasure we get from food actually happens ahead of time. We have more wiring in our brain for the anticipation of pleasure than the experience of it. And so if you're going all day long by not letting yourself imagine and plan on eating a chocolate bar, a lot of times what happens is we build up this pressure until we finally burst through and then we overeat the chocolate bars. But we don't even get a lot of enjoyment out of it because we eat them real quick and kind of in denial thing, and then we feel bad about it. And we never really got to look forward to it either. So to all of a sudden say, you know what, I'm going to start eating a chocolate bar every night, that's part of my plan. At the very least, it just disrupts things and throws things into a different space, and that's helpful. So I would test that out, Jane. See if that helps, you know, see if you plan to eat one chocolate bar, if you actually eat one chocolate bar, get good at eating one chocolate bar, eat it slowly, enjoy the shit out of it, plan it. Look forward to it all day long. See if that works. See if that gets you to eat 1 chocolate bar instead of 3. And if it works, congratulations, you just cut 30— 66% of your chocolate consumption down. Now, again, that's not how most dieters think, because most dieters are stuck in the all-or-nothing framework. Either get rid of the chocolate completely or I eat all of it, you know? Yeah. Jane says, when I'm active, I eat better, but I'm not active, I have a tougher time. I think, Jane, I think you're missing what I'm saying. I'm going to say you kind of just keep I feel like you're like my little magnetic balls here. It's like, it's funny, you can, you can this way here, they attract, and then it's like if you flip them around, they repel each other. And I feel I'm trying to tell you something, Jane, and it's kind of going like that. I'm talking about the looking forward to the night thing. So yes, I know there's active stuff. I know there's other factors, but your brain's kind of circling around. I think the biggest one that you're consistently, because you're coming in here and you tell me you regularly are You regularly have bad days. You regularly are binge eating every night almost. Okay. And so I know if you're doing something every night, I know it's a well-worn pattern and you're not recognizing that pattern. You're looking for obscure— well, this night I had wine and that night I didn't. Oh, I've been active and this night I wasn't active. And this thing here that— and you're looking at the outlier differences. But I want to look at the core thing. And the core thing that's always there every day is I think all day long you're saying, I'm okay, no chocolate tonight. You wake up, no chocolate tonight, no chocolate tonight. And then at night you eat 3 bars of chocolate. That, that's the more specific thing that I think showing up every single day. I think you're waking up saying, no chocolate. Listen, as soon as you finish the 3 bars of chocolate, I think you flip back and you say, oh my God, what did I do? No chocolate tomorrow. And then you wake up, no chocolate today. And all day long, no chocolate today. And then dinner, no chocolate. And then dinner ends, oh, 3 bars of chocolate. That's what I think's happening. And I think that's where you're going to get more Um, thank you, Jane. Yes, Jane says you're right. I do think that every day. Yes, I know. And that's a great thing to become aware of because that internal dialogue, that program you're running is what's leading— it's setting you up to eat 3 bars of chocolate. We don't just randomly eat 3 bars of chocolate every night, folks. You don't just randomly binge on a schedule and your binging is on a schedule, but your brain has convinced you that it's completely sporadic. It's because, oh, that day I drank wine and this day I didn't. That day I played pickleball, that day I didn't. That day I went for a walk and this day I didn't. Those are factors. I'm not saying they're not, but they're not the core factor. When you're doing something consistently, like daily or multiple times a week, there is a subconscious program running that's creating that. And what I'm trying to say is it's basically— think about it this way— the mindset, the thoughts you have are kind of like the recipe you're following to get the plate you're looking to make. Okay, so, so the, the eating 3 bars of chocolate is the ultimate consequence. It's the outcome, the output of the mental program you're running. And it's a 24-hour-a-day program. It looks different at different hours though. You know, like I said, the second you're done with the chocolate, eating the 3 bars, you flip back into, oh my God, Jesus, I can't do that again. No more chocolate tomorrow. And you dieters can all relate to this. You all do it. The second you finish the bingeing, the overeating, the wrong food choice, that's it. I'm never doing that again., and then, then you kind of reset the starter, right? You reset, you hit the countdown, and everyone's got a different countdown clock. For some people it might be 24 hours, for some people it might be 2, 3 days, for some people it might be 2, 3 weeks. So it's different on that level, but it's consistently, it's the same process, right? Um, so great change. So start noticing that. And again, what I would suggest to you, and I know you're going to resist it, that's the funny part, and that's fine, resist it, but at least become aware of it. Um, again, what I think you're going to resist is eat— plan to eat a bar of chocolate all day and night. Yeah, do the reset every day for sure. Again, every dieter does. Every dieter does the reset, but it's not a reset. The reset's part of the exact same pattern you're running. Does that make sense? I hope it does, because the reset will make you insane. It keeps you— you know what the reset is? You're— are y'all seeing Groundhog Day? Y'all seen Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? It's basically Groundhog Day without the awareness that you keep waking up in the same day. Okay, that's basically what the reset does. It's an illusion. And it's part of the program, though. It's not— the reset is not an actual reset. It's just, it's just the beginning of a program. It's the start of a program that runs every day. And for some people, it's every day. Some people, every week, whatever. The timeframes change, but the process is the same. And so stop the reset chain. That's what I'm trying to say. Forget the reset. Exist in a consistent mindset that says, I'm going to eat a bar of chocolate every night. That right off the bat, you're going to resist that because you're going to have a part of your brain says, no, that's not the way we do this. We can't eat a bar of chocolate and lose weight. Meanwhile, most nights you're eating 3 bars of chocolate. We've got to break through that split consciousness and we've got to connect them. And I think one of the easiest ways to do that is to say, um, yeah, I'm gonna eat a bar of chocolate every night. Yes, Jane, I think you should plan to eat a bar of chocolate every night. Not each day. I don't want you to start eating it during the day because it seems like you've got a good strategy to get through the days. Okay, so keep that. But the whole day, I want you in your mind, from the time you go to bed to the time you wake up, I want you to anticipate and expect and plan to eat a bar of chocolate after dinner. But what I want you is I want to put— I want you to put all that energy into enjoying that bar of chocolate as much as you possibly can. Eat a little bit slower. Enjoy it. Eat it mindfully. You have not been doing that. You've been eating it in denial because, you know, the second you come back to consciousness, you're going to start beating yourself up about it. So you're not getting full enjoyment out of it. That's why you're eating 3 of them, because you're not enjoying the first one, the second, or the third one. Because of that, you're, you're eating more of them to try and make up for that lack of enjoyment. But if you focus on really, how can I get the most enjoyment out of 1 bar of chocolate, and the entire, entire day you plan for that and allow yourself to do and expect it, at the very least, it's going to be something new. Is it going to be the solution? I don't know. But what you're doing right now is 100% the problem. It's 100% the problem program running through. So that's the first thing I suggest. You might come up with some other idea too, and that could be great. But I think what I would definitely suggest is planning to eat that one bar of chocolate and get the most. Here's what you haven't been doing, and this is the irony of all you dieters, is that the entire day you resist, resist, deprive, restrict. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. And then you finally do it. And when you do it, you don't even get enjoyment out of it because you've been trying to restrict this thing all day. And now you know on the other side of it, once you start eating it, um, is the guilt. And while you're eating in that state, you're not even getting the enjoyment of it. Yes, Jane follows that. You're right, I just shovel it in. Exactly. It's the shoveling it in is the bigger problem than the eating the 3 bars, because you're eating 3 bars and not really getting a lot of enjoyment out of it. It's almost like you're just doing it to get it over with. And, and you will all relate to that. I know this. So I want you to eat the bar of chocolate from the moment you wake up expecting to eat it and the entire day looking forward to it and then looking to get as much pleasure as possible out of that bar of chocolate. And at the very least, it's something different and it'll bring us in a different direction. And that's what I want for you, Jane. So yeah, just experiment with it and then come back and tell me what happens and we'll take it from there. Again, that's the attitude that really encompasses what we're talking about here is that we're just trying different things. Again, dieting doesn't teach you this. Dieting says, here's the plan, follow it to the letter, I'll see you when you get thin. Okay, I don't think that works well because we're all unique human beings with all unique lifestyles and preferences and all the rest of it. So I think, you know, we try something, we say, okay, how's this work? Oh, this part's okay, this part's not. Let me take this and discard the rest. I'll keep moving forward. But again, we don't get— I don't know, I don't know what's going on. I, every day I'm eating 3 bars of chocolate. I don't know why I'm binging. Why am I binging? You know what I mean? Again, that's so vague and so— there's nothing there. We can't figure it out. And so once we start to understand it though, we start doing different things and just noticing how it happens. You're welcome, Jade. And I really appreciate that. I do appreciate you, um, asking those questions. I really do, because I think it's helpful for a lot of people to have this conversation because a lot of people can relate to this, right? Um, Laura says, one thing you said that stuck with me is that I'm a different person in the morning than at lunch and then at nighttime. It's so true. Yeah. Yeah, exactly, Laura. And I think realizing that we're all multiple personalities, and I think that's such a— oh, you're right. You know what I mean? You're not crazy because of it. It's literally a better description of who you are because we're all different people throughout the day depending on so many different things. But certainly the time of day, you know, our energy, our eating, all these other things. And once we account for that, I think it lets us see things more accurately. And then we can deal with them. So yeah, Ezra says, how to avoid free unhealthy work food? Um, that's a great question, Ezra, and I love the way you asked that. I think that's a wonderful solution-oriented question. How to avoid free unhealthy work food? Um, I would take it a step further though, because how to avoid free unhealthy work food is pretty easy. Um, just don't ever go near it. So the avoid word is I get what you're saying. I'm kind of— I'm making a little bit of jokes here, but I don't love avoid because avoid implies that if you're anywhere near it, well, now I'm going to eat it all. So it's almost like it's a— it's setting a goal back on your heels, right? How do I avoid it? How can I never be around the work food? How can I never be around it? Because if I'm around it, right, it implies all of that. Okay. So I don't love the avoid part. I love the how, though. I love the how. So I would rather say things like, how can I be around unhealthy work food and feel indifferent to it? How can I be around unhealthy work food and look at it as if it's on the other side of a glass? And it doesn't even faze me. I'm just looking at it calm, relaxed. And oddly, when I look at the unhealthy work food, I start to think, God, I don't want that. That shit makes me feel terrible. Last time I ate that, oh, I didn't feel good. I kind of felt tired all night, and then my whole night was kind of ruined. I like feeling good. Now we start escalating. How can I be around unhealthy work food and feel genuinely that that is making me feel terrible? Because it really is. Last time I ate, I felt like shit. How can I feel better at work? What can I eat at work to feel energized and happy and healthy? And when I leave, I feel good about myself. Okay, so start playing with that question a little bit, Azra, but I think you're on the right path. And what are the answers? You know what I mean? Like, um, I'll give you a couple of just generic answers that work for pretty much everyone, but I want you to figure out the more detailed, specific answers. But being more relaxed and calm. A lot of times the unhealthy work food is not so much about the taste and the flavor of it. That's a component, but it's more about that you're stressed or you're anxious or you're tired and you're using that as a distraction or a pick-me-up or a reward. Okay. And so start genuinely, you know, instead of going eat unhealthy food, take 2 minutes, pretend you're going to the bathroom and just close your eyes and just decompress and relax. If you could— I don't— again, everyone works in different places, but if you can go sit on a sofa in the sun somewhere for 10 minutes and take a nap, you can go for a walk. So, so again, there's— instead of saying— instead of making the question revolving around the unhealthy work food, make it about what you really want to feel at work during those times. And again, if you keep asking those questions and looking to answer them, you'll get better and better solutions as you move forward. And sorry, TikTok, if I'm missing your questions. TikTok is notoriously hard to get to the questions because it just shows you like every little thing that's happening in the chat. You have to scroll through everything. So if I missed anyone's questions, I apologize. This is a real live video. Sometimes people don't believe it. Um, Ezra says, I felt better skipping lunch and waiting until dinner instead of snacking at work. Well, great, Ezra. So there you go. Um, now again, just because you did that once and you realize that doesn't mean that your nervous system knows that. So we got to reinforce things sometimes. That, that's not unusual. Doesn't mean you're broken. That's just the path we're on. So again, as for what I do is I'd probably write that out and remember that and remember that once you realize that. So I'd write it out and put a card on my desk just so it's front and center in my mind. But I'd also go into that, understand, well, sometimes I'm still going to grab the unhealthy stuff. Sometimes I'll do the way I want to be. I'm going to learn from either of them. When I choose the unhealthy food, I'm going to validate that belief and that realization. When I don't eat at work and I go home and do that, I'm going to validate that how good I feel, you know, I mean, so use both whatever your behavior is, you use it for your benefit. Um, Therese says, helpful to me, good ideas, replace chocolate with ice cream, and that could be me. Yeah, exactly, Therese. I, I think most dieters, again, you're conditioned and trained to think in all-or-nothing ways. And so usually when you start your weight loss journey, whatever it may be, it usually involves no more of your favorite things. And, uh, that, that's a dangerous way to go about it. So again, an alternative that's there is to not consume as much of your favorite things. Again, all or nothing really is such a detrimental way to think because it's just one— it's one note, it's one solution. And, you know, because again, it's like, Jay, I remember I made a video one time, how to lose weight eating a pint of ice cream every day. Well, but, but again, there you need context. But the video is about if you usually eat 2 pints of ice cream a day and you cut it down to 1, you're going to lose weight. And I think a lot of times dieters forget that and they try and do everything absolutely perfect to the letter. But that's not a realistic way to live. And if you start thinking in terms of percentages of improvement, that is a realistic way to live and it's flexible. You can kind of meet yourself where you're at, you know. And so instead of having to get rid of the chocolate completely, you cut out 66% of it perhaps, and maybe that's way easier and sustainable. Well, that's a pretty big improvement, you know. And again, that applies to chips, cookies, ice cream, pizza, all the stuff, anything. Yeah, Laura says it allowed me to understand myself better and not be so critical of myself. Yes, Laura. Yes, exactly. So much of Program Yourself Then is really built around this idea of not being so mean to yourself. We've all been trained through the diet industry that beating yourself up is the way to go. That's the path. And I think that's completely wrong. I think the nicer you are to yourself, the more supportive you are, the better results you'll get. So I'm glad that helped you with that, Laura. Um, Vicki says, that's what I do to stay away from it, stay in my office. Seriously, that's the best advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, yeah, and avoiding it sometimes is a great strategy too, so I, I don't want to minimize that. I think that's definitely a great part of it. But, um, also the more, the more kind of granular details you can come up with, the more granular strategies you, you give to yourself, you know, and the better. So, um, yeah, I'm glad you said that, uh, Vicki. Ezra says, Jim, how do you bounce back after an unhealthy food? Well, okay, so for me, you know, I really— my foreground and background have flipped. So a lot of you look at like you're fixated on your unhealthy eating, right? Again, if you think about it, dieting really is about what you're going to stop eating. If you're really honest with yourself, the way you subconsciously internalize dieting, it's about what you're going to stop doing. That's dieting in a nutshell. That's one of the core reasons why it's really an ineffective approach subconsciously. Is the entire dieting process is about what you're not going to do. It's about what you're not going to eat. It's about who you're not going to be anymore. It's about what you're not going to look like anymore. That's what it's all about. And that creates a big problem because it doesn't give your brain a direction of where to go. And this shows up with the food, right? So it becomes, what do I do when I stop eating? Well, how do you bounce back? How do you bounce back? Well, for me, when I make an unhealthy food choice that's layered over my healthy eating, So my prime focus is structuring my healthy eating. So again, in program yourself, then when it comes to eating, there's awareness, structure, optimization. Structure is the key part. So I have a structure of eating. I got a kind of a clean and pleasure days. I have a different structure for clean days, a different structure for pleasure days, but a structure nonetheless for both days. And that really structures what my healthy eating is going to be. Do I eat outside of what I believe that structure is going to be? Absolutely. Sometimes, oh, I was going to ice cream. Oh, now I got a pizza instead. That happens. Okay, I'm a human being, but it doesn't feel like hijacking because my whole strategy is not built around what I'm not going to do. You dieters, your entire process is built around what you're not going to eat. So the second you eat the thing you weren't going to eat, it feels like everything collapses because you're not building on what you're going to do. You're really building around what you're not going to do, what you're not going to eat. And the second that falls down, it all falls down. For me, um, oh God, I just ate— oh, look at me, I just pulled over and ate an ice cream. Okay, well, the next thing in my structure is my salad. Oh shit, I just ate some cookies. Okay, next thing in my structure is my dinner that I'm gonna eat that I was planning on eating. Oh shit, I just snacked, I just ate a whole pint of ice cream after dinner. What am I gonna do? Well, tomorrow I'm gonna have my healthy breakfast. Just what I'm saying. So my background and foreground are opposite for most of you dieters. I'm not fixated on what I'm not going to eat. I know those things are going to pop in sometimes, but my main focus today, now, and forever is what I'm going to eat. Do I always eat what I plan on eating? No, but that's all my energy really is going into what I'm going to eat. And so I focus so much on what I'm going to eat that most of my eating does run on autopilot so that even when I screw something up with my eating, I'm right— I snap right back in. Hope that makes sense. Let me give you an example. It's like if you're driving, say you're driving and all of a sudden you start to veer off the road, right? You don't say, Jim, what do you do when you veer off the road? Jim, what do you do when you veer off the road? How do you get back on? How do you— how— what do you do, right? Because when you drive, you have a sense of what you're going to do, and the veering off is the outlier thing. And so it's obvious you're just gonna snap back. Your, your main point of reference is driving straight down the road. The veering off is the outlier thing. So it would sound strange for me to say to you, what do you do when you veer off the road? How do you handle that? Right? Because your point of reference is driving straight. So obviously just driving straight again. But you dieters, what do I do when I veer off? What do I do? Because you have no, you have no sense of what to do all the time. Your whole system is built around what you're not going to do. I hope you get that. It's, it is profound. I know it sounds like an asshole to be like, what I just said was profound. But it is, it is. So there's a lot of depth there. Um, Laura says, I love ice cream too, but I've been replacing it with 100-calorie Yasso yogurt bars, which are also delicious. Yeah, that's a great strategy. Again, take what you typically eat and reduce the calories. Again, program yourself. Then we have the 3 Rs of weight loss: reduce, replace, remove. But again, implicit in that idea is that there's options. You've got some fucking options, right? Because dieting is just remove. Remove it or get rid of it. Get rid of it, you know. And so what Laura did is she replaced it. She replaced it with something that has less calories in it. So you kept the— you kept a lot of the experience, the ice cream, the flavor, the coldness, the eating it when you eat it. You kept all that, but you shaved out a certain number of calories. That's a great strategy because it's not that overwhelming. It's not that uncomfortable. Again, we, we can't just look at what's going to give us the fastest weight loss. We've got to take into account how we're going to experience it. And if it's super stressful, you're not going to stick with it. So again, replacement's one of my favorite strategies. So it's a great job, Laura. That's smart thinking. Jane says, I've been planning on all morning to have cottage cheese and blueberries for lunch, but now what I really want is a grilled cheese sandwich. Um, there you go, Jane. So again, I don't know, my big question to you is, what do you— that's not unusual, probably. What do you typically eat for lunch? Do you typically cottage cheese and blueberries, or you typically eat a grilled cheese sandwich? But by the way, Jane, This comes back to the conversation we were having, because if you're constantly living in this state of, okay, oh my God, I just ate 3 bars of chocolate, tomorrow no chocolate— if you're constantly living in that place, you're constantly living a state of deprivation, and you're training yourself to be deprived, restrict, restrict, restrict, overeat, restrict, restrict, restrict, overeat. But it's the restriction that's leading to the overeating. So all of a sudden, when you start saying, I'm gonna have a bar of chocolate, I'm gonna have a bar of chocolate, I'm gonna have a bar of chocolate, it does create a more conducive environment to say, you know what, let's eat healthy today at lunch because we are gonna have that bar of chocolate tonight. We're gonna enjoy the hell out of it, and we'll actually enjoy the bar of chocolate tonight more if we have the healthier lunch than if we have the other one. So let's do that. But let's keep in mind, grilled cheese sandwich, that does sound good. Let's save that for the pleasure day. Let's have that and really enjoy it. So great awareness, Jane. Jackie says, this makes sense. Thank you. Yes, it does make sense. That, that's my main thing, and I know it makes sense. And again, I don't mean to sound like like I'm just tooting my own horn, but it makes a lot of sense 'cause everything I'm sharing with you comes from over 20 years of working with people directly. I've done over 6,000 private weight loss sessions. I've gone through this myself. And so everything I'm sharing with you, I like to believe is extremely practical in a way that dieting is not. And so I know a lot of times when people start to hear this take on things, it just feels like, oh, you know, 'cause it makes sense and it starts to articulate and define all the things you've been dealing with without being able to kind of see it clearly. And once you see it clearly, you've got a definite step forward in being able to hopefully resolve it. So I'm glad that that helps. Cherry says, this is profound. Well, thank you. Thank you, Cherry. I appreciate the validation. I do know it's profound. It's, uh, it's so funny. I, uh, and I don't mind saying it. I don't give a shit, you know. That's part of my work. I, I, uh, you know, I got a healthy ego. I'm glad you think so. Therese says, here's what I've learned. I tried to have a healthier ice cream snack. I've learned I'm not ready for that. That's fair too, Therese, you know what I mean? That's why I say reduce, replace, remove. And not everything works. You know, it's like that's the other piece too. As a diet— dieter, one of the things you kind of subconsciously installed in yourself is that there's one way to do it. And if it doesn't work that way, then it doesn't work. And there must be something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you. The challenge ahead of us, and it's not a big deal, but you just haven't been taught to think of it this way, is that really the thing about mastering your weight is really understanding how to really master your behaviors. In order to master your behaviors, you got to take into account which behaviors work best for you. And so that, that kind of implies that there needs to be some trial and error. Let me test some different things out, figure out what works for me, you know. And there's, there's no shame in trying something. I don't think I'm ready for that. That doesn't work for me. That's fine. That's, that's part of the process, you know. And maybe at some point you will be ready for it. Maybe at some point you'll never be ready for it. Okay, you know, but you're your own beautiful snowflake, Therese, and I'm really glad you say that. You know, you'll figure out what you want to do, you know. Um, Nina says, what is really helping me is that I feed my body what it needs, not what it wants, and the mantra that the body is my baby. I'm learning to take care of myself from a point of love for the first time in my life. Yes, Nina, I'm glad you said that. I love— that's one of my favorite mantras in the program. In the program, you know, at the end of the 8 weeks, you've installed over 60 weight loss mantras into your mind, and one of them is, yes, my body is my baby, I give it what it needs. I love that one. When you start thinking about your body as your baby, again, you just internalize it differently. Most of you dieters, again, are not thinking your body is your baby. You're thinking about your body as your enemy. And that right off the bat is a foundational place I wouldn't want to be. I don't know how you're going to get the results you want if subconsciously you're internalizing this war. Your body's your enemy. You're at war with it. And that's what dieting sets you up to do. You're literally— dieting is basically fighting against your body to try and make it lose weight. And so, you know, my body is my baby, I give it what it needs is a mantra designed directly to stand in contrast to that, you know, and give you a different perspective to approach this with, you know. Um, how old are you? I am 51. Um, Why is a grilled cheese sandwich barb? I'm not sure what that means. Oh, bad. Why is a grilled cheese sandwich bad? Um, it's not bad, you know. I mean, everything's relative, everything's contextual, you know. So I think that's another really important piece. Now again, I think in this, in this context— so let's understand this because I know there's a lot of talk about what's good and bad, and I get some of that. I understand like using the language bad and good, you know, can have deeper meanings to it. But also we have to work in the realm of language and what it means. And if you're a person who wants to lose weight and get healthier, you know, there's going to be foods and ways of eating that, that are— move you in that direction, ones that don't. And so if we want to use the shorthand of good and bad in that context, I don't have a problem with that. I don't think if you eat a grilled cheese sandwich, even when you want to lose weight, you're a bad person. I don't think that's helpful. But I do think that, you know, along the path you want to go on, there's some things that are good and bad in terms of moving you towards that. So anyways, but yeah, a grilled cheese sandwich is neither good or bad. Everything is good and bad.. It really just depends on the context. And so, um, you know, if your intention is to have a clean— like, I'm gonna have a salad in a few minutes here. If, uh, you know, all of a sudden instead I just said, ah, forget that, I'm gonna have a tuna melt and chips instead. Um, I'm not a bad person, but that's not a decision that's gonna, you know, lead me towards my goal weight necessarily. Now, it could be, you know what I mean? Again, we can go deep into context, but yeah, nothing's good or bad by itself. It really is contextual, you know. Can you explain what overeating is when you eat 3 times a day? Food and calories are confusing. Um, yeah, no, you're right, food and calories are absolutely confusing. I'm not a big fan of counting calories. Um, what is overeating? Again, another relative term. Um, eating 3 times a day is kind of another relative thing. I've seen people succeed eating once, twice, 3, 5 times a day. Um, there really is no right or wrong with that. It's really just figuring out what works for you. How often you eat is really a lot less important than the total amount of calories you consume over the day, over the week. So, you know, there's a lot of flexibility in terms of, you know, frequency of eating and all the rest of it that you really should figure out what works best for you. But yeah, overeating is kind of a vague term. And yeah, I think that's a good question. In order to answer, you really have to get more specific about the context and the situation you're in. Do you pizza? Yeah, I pizza. I had pizza last night. I make my own pizza, so it's a lot healthier. Um, but yeah, I pizza. I love pizza. Although I'm a little disappointed myself, I'm a little frustrated. I gotta get my pizza game up. I'm not happy with the pizzas I've been making. I'm happy with the bread I make. I make— I'm a killer, killer bread maker, I will tell you. I've quickly, in 3 months, I've become a very good bread maker. But, uh, yeah, my pizza, I gotta, I gotta get some, some, some attention. Um, so I'm scared to give my body any kind of food because I'm scared of food regardless of what it is. Um, yeah, I mean, that's common. And again, you don't want that, right? I mean, food is, is life, you know. So again, if you have that fear of food, that, that to me, um, implies something that probably needs to be dealt with, you know, before you even get into calorie counting. Um, Karen says, I had a great chat with Jim AI this morning. I asked about your comfortable yoga, where to find it, working into my evening habit. Amazing experience and super helpful. Felt like chatting directly with you. Crazy how authentic it is. I know, Karen, it's amazing. And it's about to get so much better. I, I was saying this Um, yeah, this week, I think maybe next week, uh, I got, um, a big upgrade coming to it. So I know it's so awesome and it's just gonna get a lot better. So that's great that it's working great now. And, um, the things I'm adding to, it's gonna be an even better, um, an even better, um, coach. Okay. Um, Dawn says, I had a dense week with my family and I finally fully understand how I use food for comfort. My cravings were intense. Great job, Dawn. Again, This path is not a path of just wins. You know, program yourself in another mantra we install is we're winning or learning, one or the other. And that's such a great mantra because, yes, sometimes we're winning, we do the right stuff and we're winning. Sometimes we do the right stuff and we lose, and then sometimes we don't do the right stuff. We feel like we're losing, but we can always learn. And I find a lot of times the most valuable learnings come out of the mistakes and the challenges. So super duper great job done. Cherry says, do you have to be in the program to talk to Jim AI? I'm gonna say yes. I did last month. I gave away PYT Spark. It was a whole free complete program I gave away for free. And as usual, and Jim AI was literally part of that, so I just gave away access to Jim AI for free. But as usual, when people are given things for free, they don't use it. And so, you know, I, that's gone for free. And Jim AI, that was just a temporary thing anyways, because Jim AI, you know, cost me money to have people use it. So Um, it's only for people in the program. Um, oh, Nina says I could not sign in this morning, it didn't work. That's weird. Yeah, Nina, when that happens, please open up a support ticket. Um, sometimes Gym AI, the back end of it, gets a little wonky. I'll be honest, some of the stuff that's going on Iran has, um, affected Amazon servers and some technology stuff. So I apologize for that. That's probably— it's probably just a temporary glitch, but if that happens, open up a support ticket so I can um, move that down the line, have that move down the line for you. Uh, all right everyone, I gotta get out of here. Thank you so much. Again, if you're not in my world, please go click the link in my bio or go to programyourselfthin.com. I'll put in the chat here. Uh, go get that free hypnosis session that I made for you. It's really good because on top of that, it's not just a hypnosis session. I also made a whole training for you. I'll give you a bunch of free stuff. Um, but get in my world. I'm here every Monday through Friday. I'm happy to help you all. This is my mission in life. Please let me help you. I'm happy to answer any questions you have as best I can and hopefully move you forward. If you're not able to get on the live, this is also a podcast called Program Yourself Thin. Go to any podcast platform, search it, you'll find it. Go check it out. And then what's the last thing? Oh yeah, I always like to talk about this book. My book is available now. So, The Tao of Living at Your Goal Weight. I know you can't read this on TikTok, but I'm not switching it around. It's The Tao of Living at Your Goal Weight. It's on Amazon, go search it up. People love this book, it's really good. I don't blame 'em, it's an awesome book. Um, Pam says, off topic, I listened to a session that had I Am Thin running in the background, loved it, but can't find it now. Um, Pam, if you're in the program, I forget which one that may be, but if you're not in the program, you're probably talking about the free hypnosis session. And, um, you can open a support ticket. You should have a link to that. Uh, if not, you can email support@programyourselfthen, and we'll get you the link to it. But that is, um, what the free hypnosis session is. So yeah, it's awesome. And, uh, yeah, just put it on, test it out. It works, it works, doesn't Who gives a shit? Don't listen to anymore. Go check it out though. All right everyone, have a super duper day and we'll talk soon. Bye.