Learning Lessons From Overeating

Hey, everyone. Welcome to today's program. Yourself then podcast. They were talking about learning lessons from overeating. You're gonna overeat. You're gonna overeat for the rest of your life. At times. There's never going to be a year in your life where you don't ever overeat or make a bad food choice, right? So once you accept that, the next conversation becomes about how you recover from it, right? How do you recover from it quickly and get back on track? One of the most, if not the most, number one important skill that you need to master is the ability to get back on track quickly. Because the option that you never get off track is not possible. It doesn't exist. I know I keep harping on this, but dieting has trained your brain to think. First of all, it gets you out of the beating yourself up mindset, which, again, I'm not. Well, I think I am a nice person, but I'm not saying this because I'm a nice person. I'm not saying don't beat yourself up to be nice to yourself. I'm not even saying that. I'm saying stop beating yourself up because it doesn't work. It's not effective. If beating yourself up helped you manage your reading and control your weight and your health, I'd say keep doing it. But it doesn't work. Okay? And it doesn't work because you never learn anything from it. When you're beating yourself up, you're just existing in the exact same headspace that got you into the trouble in the first place. So again, what I want to do is I want to go back to that moment knowing what I know now. And I want to ask myself, what would I do now? I know a lot of you say, well, I just eat the same. I do the same thing. Would you? I'll give you an example. This Sunday, I went to. I took my mom to a special meal that she wanted. She wanted to get fried clams out on the the coast. And so I took her there and I got a bunch of fried food and ate it and felt like shit, really, for probably a day, a total of a day afterwards. So what I learned from it, well, I went back and I learned that a. I don't need to eat that much fried food to enjoy myself. I actually would have enjoyed myself a lot more if I'd gotten the smaller portion. That's number one. Now think about that learning, though, right? Because I'm not beating myself up for doing it. Of course I'm going to do It. It was a special case with my mom. That's what she wants to do. I want to go there. I want to be part of it. I'm going to do the same thing. The real secret is that I could have ordered something smaller. Now, when I first think ordering something smaller, typically I'm thinking like a dieter. So I'm thinking about what I'm going to order. I'm saying, okay, I need to get less. But initially my mind's saying I need to get the full order in order to really enjoy myself. That's what I thought in that moment when I went and ordered that food. I'm saying I need to get all of it. I need to get the full order to really enjoy myself. What I know now that I didn't know then or wasn't thinking about then is that that smaller order would have been way better. Because halfway through that order, I was like, oh, this is getting to be a quite a bit much. I'm not even enjoying this anymore. Okay. I did not think that when I was ordering the clams. I didn't think it would be enough. I was wrong. So when you start to look at things this way, you allow yourself to evolve, to grow, to learn, to become the person you want to be. And it's not just this forcing yourself to not do what you want to do, right? Because that's what all dieting is. It's basically you using your willpower to fight against yourself so that you don't do the thing you want to do. What I'm talking about is completely different. What I'm talking about is going back to that moment with the knowledge that you have now and saying, I didn't need that much. Actually, I would have enjoyed myself more with the smaller thing. And a lot of times, when you look back at your overeating, you're going to learn a lesson very similar to this, that you did not need as much as you thought you did in the moment. And this is the core point I want to point out to you, is that a lot of times when you're making your overeating decisions, your unhealthy food decisions, it's because in that moment, you're in a mindset that sets says, this is what I need to do to feel better. You hear that? Like, this is what I need to do to feel better now. Feel better could be feel happier, feel relaxed, feel rewarded, feel, you know, celebrate whatever the feel better may be, your brain is saying, I need to eat all of that food. I need to get all of that I need to eat that, do that to feel better. And then you eat all that. And 10 minutes after you finish eating, you, you don't feel better. You feel like this is very common. And as you start paying attention to the consequence phase of the food, right? Because as soon as six seconds after you finish eating, you officially enter the consequence phase. And in that phase, if you go and did like I didn't eat a whole plate of fried food, the consequence phase, usually you're going to feel shitty. So instead of beating yourself up for doing the wrong thing, remind yourself that I don't need this much food to feel good. Actually, I would have felt better with some less food. Now, when you start thinking that way, that's when you start truly, genuinely making shifts and changes in your reading. So I hope you really hear what I'm saying here. Because when you start to learn from your mistakes instead of beating yourself up about them, that's how you start to truly, genuinely change in ways that you probably cannot even imagine. And so I hope you play around with this. Go make some mistakes or reflect on some mistakes that you've made. Ask yourself, if I could go back in time knowing what I know now, in that moment, what decision would I have made? The magic question. And you will start to feel the benefits of that question and the answers that you get from it. All right? So I hope this helps you out. If you want to go deeper into this process, make sure you click the link in my bio or go to program yourself then dot com. Go get the free hypnosis session I made for you. I made you a training go check all that stuff out and it'll help you along your path. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. I know I've been. Geez, last, last two weeks have been crazy. I. As, I. I apologize. I've been missing. Missing you all, missing my lives. And it's good to be back.

And even though I'm late here today, I'm hour, hour later than normal, but am here. So yes, my goal is to help you all and to help as many people as possible with their goal weight. So if you're struggling anyway with weight either eating mindset, feel free to ask questions. I'm happy to help you out. I see the narrative says I love your content. You've helped me a lot. Well, thank you. I appreciate you saying that. Little screenshot of that always like the, the kind words. And that is my goal to help you all a lot. Because when you know how to think about and approach this all in a different way.

You'Re going to get much better results. You know, that's always kind of my main message that I believe the core reason you struggle with your weight is because you do not know how to think like a thin, healthy person. Most people struggling with their weight only know how to think like dieters. And if you think like a dieter, you're pretty much going to struggle with your weight. Right? That's kind of the definition in my opinion. There aren't a whole lot of thin and healthy dieters. Right. So right at the core of the problem is your mindset and how you're thinking about this whole thing. So it is my goal to get on here every day. And I'm usually every Monday through Friday. Usually things have been a little crazy in my life, so I've missed a little bit here and there. But.

It is my goal to be here every day to help you all in any ways that I can. So, yes, any, any questions you may have, feel free to ask them. I know, it's funny, too. I don't know, I feel like I'm smack dab in the middle of summer. I don't know if anyone else feels that way. Probably I'm going on vacation next week too, but it just feels. And where I'm at, that means it's 10,000 degrees and it is dry as a bone.

Part of my lawn just has literally turned to dust. So.

I don't know, I may be shifting over to a rock lawn. I don't know. But anyways, I hope everyone's having a nice summer. There's Vicki. How's it going, Vicki? Because I love when you say make some mistakes. Not a problem. Yeah, right. I know. Making the mistakes is the easy part. Right? Gonna make mistakes. But, you know, it's just so funny. It's. And again, you know, my clientele, the people I work with are very. They're, they're overthinkers, type A perfectionist type people. And so making mistakes for them is the kiss of death. Because it's like then they just beat themselves up, you know, and just, just pile on top of themselves. So the more you manage that, the better, you know, and that's been. I've been doing this, I've been doing this over 20 years. I've almost 6, 000 private weight loss sessions. And they're always with overthinkers, perfectionists who are just beating themselves up about stuff. So again, I know it's. I'm not saying it's an easy Thing, you know, you've got a pattern of beating yourself up. But what I'm saying is, the more you work on that, the more you stop beating yourself and start supporting yourself, start learning from mistakes, start learning, using your mistakes as an opportunity to grow and evolve into a better version of you. It. I think it's the most powerful piece of the program because you're going to make mistakes.

Right? There's just no question about that. But again, think about this and question your own beliefs and ideas here. If you're like most dieters, really, the idea you're kind of married to in your mind, that you never really focus on and recognize is that in the back of your mind, you're kind of saying, well, there's going to be some Monday that's going to come down the pike, and this Monday is going to happen, and I'm going to start my diet and I'm going to be 100 perfect, right? Because all dieters start their plan on Monday, 100 perfect. And you're going to be 100 perfect until you get to your goal weight. And that's the way you think about it.

And it's setting you up for failure because you can't be perfect. You know, you certainly just can't be perfect with your eating. Are you kidding me? You know, I'm not saying you can't be a lot better, and I'm not saying you can't lose the weight. I'm saying you can't be perfect with your eating. Not for long. And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, the more you accept that, I think the better. What's up, Kim? Kim says good afternoon. I need to cut back on cheese. I am not ready to completely give it up, but I know I eat way too much. A little mouse emoji. Kim's a little mouse. All right, first thing I would suggest to you is change your words. You do not need to do anything. You do not need to cut back on cheese. So the language we use is extremely important because we. Our subconscious mind is very literal. And when we say the word need, it implies that we don't want to, but we need to. Why do you need to? Maybe it's because you think it's health reasons, right? Maybe you think it's weight reasons. Whatever. You've got some reason why you need to. But I would want to rephrase that, and I'd want to focus on those reasons. Okay? Listen, whenever you say, I need to give up cheese, I need to stop eating ice cream. I have to anytime you feel like you're being forced by some outside force and use that language, what's happening is you're developing. You're giving energy to this rebellious part of you. Autonomy. And your ability to choose what you want to do is such a powerful force. And when you frame things in terms of what you have to do or need to do, and you don't want to, but you have to do it, you make it harder, I think. So the alternative, I would suggest is that you phrase it like this. I want to cut back on cheese. Because right now you put your reasons in. So you say, I'm going to work on cutting back on cheese. Because I just read that there's a ton of saturated fat in it and it's not good for your arteries. And I'm really serious about my cardiovascular health. And so I want to. I want to cut back on the cheese. You see what I mean? Now, this may sound just like semantics, but semantics are really important.

So again, we want to frame. If we want to take something on, like cutting back on cheese or ice cream or pizza or sweets, we don't want to say, I have to, I need to, I should. We don't want any of those words. We want to start it with some version of I want to. And then why. And then focus on that why, right? You can all feel that I need. I need to cut back on cheese, right? Think about how that feels. Say it to yourself, I need to cut back and insert whatever it is you feel like you should cut back on. But say, like, I need to cut back on that thing and notice how that feels. And then say, I really want to cut back on cheese because I want to feel healthier. I want to feel lighter. I want to slim down. I want my arteries to be softer and, you know, healthier. You know what I mean? Like, so again, it focuses on the thing we're going to get from cutting back on the cheese. So psychologically, it usually feels a lot better. All right? But I know I eat way too much. Again, even that I know I eat way too much. How do you know that? Is it financially a strain? Is your cholesterol sky high? Is your weight up? What are the reasons, you know, you eat too much? I'd want to know those because we. I would craft those into my statement, and I would say, I'm just going to make something up. Just to give you an example. I would say something like, I really want to reduce the amount of cheese I eat because I find that I'm eating it Morning, noon and night. And I just feel. I feel kind of gooey. Like, I don't know, I feel like there's. I feel sluggish. I feel tired a lot. I feel like eating all this cheese. I feel like it's responsible for the extra weight I'm carrying around. And every time I eat it, I feel kind of tired afterwards, my body digesting it. So I really want to work on cutting that down in a comfortable, enjoyable way so that I can feel better and feel lighter and feel stronger and my arteries are feeling better and blah, blah, blah, blah. So I hope that makes sense. Right. Because, again, the way we describe it is gonna have a huge impact on what we do. Right. But thanks for that question. Just. Jade, how's it going? Good to see you back. Yes, thank you. It's good to be back. Yes. I. I was literally. I just got out of a meeting that went way longer than I expected, and I'm like, oh, no, I'm gonna miss another day. And I'm like, I cannot miss another day. I. I gotta hop on here and see my peeps. So I'm glad I'm on here. And yes.

Yves says, what's the best advice for a beginner? I think the best advice I would give a beginner, and I love that you describe yourself as a beginner. Okay. The. The best advice I'd give you is that you don't want to lose weight. You want to live at your goal weight. That would be the most important advice I could give you because it's a shift of a goal, so it changes everything. Right. Because if your only goal is to lose weight, your brain thinks of it as a temporary goal. I just want to get to my goal weight. And that's how your brain, that's how all you dieters think, by the way, is you think of this as a temporary goal. Like, I'm going to diet until I get to my goal weight. I said, what are you going to do then? Well, I'll figure it out, but I just want to get to my goal weight. And so for most people, their goal is to get to their goal weight. But what happens psychologically is now you think of that goal as a temporary thing. Say, okay, well, I'm just gonna do this. I'm just gonna diet until I get to my goal weight. Okay, what's the most extreme diet I can do? Because I just wanna get this over as quick as possible. And that's the mental trap most dieters are caught in. And it puts you on this hamster Wheel where what happens is you're not thinking about dieting or food or your weight at all. Then all of a sudden you get really upset about your weight and you say, that's it, I gotta change it. You dive into some really strict plan. And they're all strict folks. All of the diets are strict. Mediterranean, keto counting point, all of it strict. The way dieters do it, because they all jump into it on day one being 100% perfect. And so you jump into 100% perfect because you're so fired up. You do it 100% perfect for a couple days or a couple of weeks. You make a mistake and you completely quit. Then you get really upset eventually again, and you repeat the whole cycle. And most of you have probably done that now tens of hundreds of times. So my, my suggestion to you is that you change your goal from wanting to lose weight to wanting to live at your goal weight for the rest of your life on near autopilot. I would suggest that you make that your goal and you aim at that. Because the truth is that if you get control of your weight and you really figure out how to think, live and eat like a thin, healthy person, and you're able to do that in a way that feels relatively automated, your, your life's going to be completely different. And the other piece of that is that the process of doing that is way easier than dieting. Dieting is extremely stressful and overwhelming. Doesn't matter what diet you pick, it's all stressful and overwhelming. To completely Change your eating 100 in one day. That's always stressful. So again, I think the important thing is to say that you want to start seeing this as a long term plan. There's no rush. Approach your weight like college. You know, again, diets, I always say they're like get rich quick schemes. Stop falling for them and just commit to the plan and just really figure out how to think, live and eat like a thin, healthy person. And if you have no idea how to do that, you can click the link in my bio and go get the hypnosis session. Watch the training I made. It'll, it'll walk you through the process.

Dinesha, how's it going? Dinesha says, what do you think of GLP medicines after gastric bypass? What's the best GLP? Wow. GLP1 after gastric bypass. I have not heard anyone doing that. I have not even heard of that. But sure, why not? That's interesting. Now, technically, I mean, the gastric bypass is the more effective between that and the lap band. And part of that is that the, the way it bypasses creates hormonal shifts and changes as well that I had read were somewhat creating effects similar to GLP1s. And I know exactly the mechanisms that make that work or not, but that's what I've heard. Boy. Gastric bypass and then glp1.

I don't know what's the best glp1. I have no idea. I don't really pay attention to GLP1s. I mean, you gotta understand, I'm not against GLP1s and I think that they're answer for, for people that don't want to do the work that I'm talking about here. If you don't want to put the time, effort and energy into, you know, getting your mindset, lifestyle and eating patterns dialed in, then yeah, you know, GLP1s are probably your best bet. But yeah, to combine gastric bypass and GLP1.

Yeah. I, I wouldn't even have the first idea how to go about that.

So obviously talk to your doctor. I'll have to look that up. I haven't even heard of that. And that's, that's interesting.

So again, I mean, understand where I'm coming from. And again, I'm not against GLP1s but also you understand that GLP1s compared to program yourself then are way down here. I know GLP1s are better than diets. Okay, but diets don't work. So. Yeah, obviously. But again, you have to understand if program yourself within works for you and you figure out how to think, live and eat like a thin, healthy person and you're able to manage your mindset and you're able to manage your lifestyle and you're reading and you dial it all in, you're at your goal weight and it feels relatively easy and enjoyable and comfortable and you got that plan for life like, like that's superior to GLP1 that you have to inject into your body for the rest of your life. You only get 16 months of weight loss with GLP1s. You know, we don't know what the long term effects are. So in that sense, you know, so I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about GLP1s.

Yeah. And especially with gastric bypass. I wouldn't even know what the extra.

You know, things to take into account would be with that. Sunrise says every night I say I'm not going to have a snack before bed and every night I do. Yeah, well, okay, Sunrise, here's some interesting psychology for you. Your subconscious mind does not understand negatives, okay? So if I tell you and get all your willpower together, get all your willpower together and do not think about what I'm about to tell you. All right? All ready? You can all play. Don't think about a banana. Don't think about a yellow banana. Don't think about a yellow banana. All right, you done thinking about a banana or did you never think about it? What happened? You thought about a banana, right? Your brain doesn't understand negatives. So in order to make sense of the sentence, I'm saying in order to make sense of don't think about a yellow banana, you got to think about a yellow banana first. And then you try and do some shenanigans to not think about it. So, Shelley, every time you're telling yourself, you're literally programming yourself, by the way, which is you're using the same process we use in the program. It's just you don't. You don't realize it and you don't know how to use it for good. But yes, folks, we are always pre programming ourselves, right? And so this is another reason why diets don't work. Because diets are famous for focusing you on the exact thing you want to reduce or eliminate from your diet. So Shelly over here every day is saying, I'm not going to have a snack before bed. I'm not going to have a snack before bed. Now, by the way, Shelly, you're not even. It's not even you just saying, I'm not going to have a snack before bed. In your mind, you're literally imagining the specific snack you eat, what it tastes like, what it feels like to eat it. So I'm just going to pick something. But what you're really thinking in your head is, oh, I'm not gonna have that cookie tonight. I'm not gonna that chocolate chip cookie. And I'm gonna have the Chips Ahoy tonight. I'm not gonna have the Chips Ahoy tonight. I'm not gonna the Ben and Jerry's time. I have the Ben Jerry's time. I got Ben and Jerry's tonight. Right? So there's another piece of your mind that you might want to know about, too. One is you don't understand negatives. So if I tell you not to think about whatever you snack on at night, you're thinking about it right now. Okay? But number two, and this is the big one problem, is that your subconscious mind can't tell the difference between vivid imagination and Reality. So you, you know, this is why you like movies and TV shows, because you watch them for the vicarious experience. You're watching light on a screen and sound waves hit your ears, but you're having an emotional experience. If you're watching a horror movie, you're nervous. If you're watching a drama, you're sad. You're watching a comedy, you're laughing, you're watching a sporting event. You're releasing adrenaline in your body, so your mind makes imagination real. So what you're doing, Shelly, is you're constantly. Every night I say, I'm not gonna have a snack. Every night you're programming yourself to have a snack because you're thinking about eating that snack and you're doing it through your imagination. So you're literally getting some of the experience of getting that snack, and you're boosting up the desire and the cravings for it.

So, yeah, so I would stop doing that. Now you say, well, what's with this? So what do I do? Well, what do you want to do at night? Now, I know you're saying, I don't want to have a snack. I know. Well, on the nights where you didn't have a snack, what did you do? I know this sounds so strange, right? Because now you say, well, I just sat there. Great. Then you can start saying, I just want to sit there tonight from 9 to 11, I just want to sit in the chair and watch TV and then go to bed. You see what I mean? Like, now there's no snack in your mind. So that's the first step. I'm not saying that's the only step, okay? But I'm saying that's the first step is stop obsessing and focusing and programming yourself to eat snacks every night. That would be the first step to not have snacks every night. Now, the other step, I will tell you, okay, that's just removing it, Right? So again, in program yourself, then we have the three R's. We have replace, reduce, remove. We have options. Okay, so you got three options with this snack. The first one that all dieters want to do is just remove it. That's the hardest one, but whatever. So the first step to that is I'd be like, I'm just going to sit in my chair, watch a show, drink my water, and then go to bed. That's how I'd start preparing for that. But the other two is reduce and replace. Reduce is obviously gonna eat the same thing, but you're eat less of it and start. I'd start preparing Myself for that, I'm gonna have half the snack I usually eat tonight. And I'd start imagining that. And then the third one is, I'm gonna replace it. Instead of having the ice cream, I'm gonna have an apple, whatever. And I'd start telling myself that. So again, figure out which one's kind of working best for you and then work on programming that into your mind. That's what I'd say. What's up, Shakira? How's it going?

So, yeah, all right. No more questions. Good. I'm gonna hop out of here. Quick, quick, in and out. Yeah, here we are. So I hope that helped you out again. If anyone else wants any support, make sure you click the link in my bio. Go to program yourself, then get the free hypnosis session. Watch the training video I made for you. Read the emails I send to you. I'm here to help you. And all those things are free. All right? And if you like this, I'm usually here Monday through Friday around noon Eastern. So, again, I've been a little wobbly here because I've had some other things going on in life, but that's that. I will show you this. I meant I was talking about this before. I'm going to show you this. This is a Carvel ice cream cake that's been in my office, which gets up to temperatures. It's been there. It's been in my office now for, I would say, five days. Five days. So some of those days it has been up to 100 degrees in here. Okay, that being said, here's the ice cream cake. That's what's left of it.

So I just wanted to point that out.

So.

The chocolates, ice cream, okay, we know this. The white stuff that seemed, I thought was ice cream has never melted. The stuff that I guess might be like a whipped creamish sort of thing is not melted at all. And I think the red stuff is just a dyed whipped creamish frosting sort of thing. Not melted at all. So I know, you know, if you know, you know about emulsifiers and things like that that they use in these foods, they can transport them cheaper and lower the cost. But I think sometimes it's a little jarring looking at things again. This has been in 100 degree room for days. It's been the last three days. It's probably got 100 degrees in here because I have not been in here. And the air conditioner's been off, whatever. So that's what's. That's where we end up.

I want to give you all the views. I'm not trying to talk, I'm just showing you. So, again, I'm not saying anything good or bad about it. I just wanted to show you that. Thought it was interesting. So if you do pay attention to food, that's just something to keep in mind. You know, it's always good to see what we're eating more clearly. So, anyways. All right, everyone, again, I'm here Monday through Friday, usually around noon. This is also a podcast program yourself then. So you got any podcast platform, search it and listen to them. We got over 500 of them. And yeah, have a super day, and we'll talk soon. Bye.