Practicing Losing Weight

It. There we go. Hey, everyone. Welcome to today's program yourself Thin Podcast Day. We're talking about practicing losing weight. This is one of my favorite things to talk about, because very few people associate practice with losing weight. Now think about this for a second, because this is one of those. I think one of those big things that we just don't see. And once you see it, it can change everything. Because how most people approach weight loss and what I hear all the time is I know what I need to do. I just need to get myself to do it. And the way that sounds and the way that makes you feel is that you already know how to do it, right? And you know what to do. You just need to use willpower to make yourself do those things. And that's not really a good description of how human beings learn and change behavior simply because you're not primarily a conscious creature, you're primarily a subconscious creature. And technically, being able to explain what you do versus being able to do it are two totally different things. And I'll give you the best example I can give you is if you think about writing with your hand, chances are you can write with one hand. You can write words, sentences, letters, everything. So you know everything there is to know about writing with your hand, but you can only do it with one hand. So there's two kinds of knowledge, right? There's literal logical knowledge, and there's behavioral knowledge. And so logical, literal knowledge, you know everything there is to know about writing. You could teach someone how to do it, you could explain it, you know exactly how to do it, but behaviorally, you only know how to do it with one hand. Okay? So this is really important because when it comes to weight loss, the only information you've ever gotten, the only knowledge you have, is the literal logical knowledge of what to do. So most likely you have some philosophy or idea what you should do. Maybe you're a keto person, Weight Watchers person, doesn't matter. But you have some idea that in order for me to lose weight, what I need to do is, is I need to follow this plan. I need to stop eating carbs. I need to count my points, whatever, okay? But the gap between knowing what to do and being able to do it on near autopilot smoothly is the real process. So it's not enough to just know how to do it, because technically, we go back to handwriting. You could write with your other hand, technically, right? You could. You could get the letters out, you could get the words out, you could do it. But think about how that feels. Think about how it would feel to write with your other hand. Right? You could do it. It would be messier, and it would take lots and lots of focus, concentration, and energy to do that, you see? So you could write with the other hand, but it's going to take a ton of energy to make yourself do that. You got to think about every little letter, you got to pay attention to a little thing, and what you're going to find is that you get depleted, and then you get annoyed, frustrated, impatient doing that. And you will go back to using your smooth hand that just does it. On. Oh, okay. This. This is the heart of why weight loss is hard for most people. Because you're getting knowledge all the time, literal knowledge about what to do. Every diet is telling you what to do, and no one is showing you how to get yourself to do it. No one's talking about practicing that in a way that it becomes automatic. That's the difference between kind of conscious oriented change approach and a subconscious oriented change approach, which is really what hypnosis is all about, and nlp. So what we're looking to do is to go from knowing what to do to being able to do it comfortably. Just like you did writing when you first learned how to do it. You learned both at the same time. You learned the literal knowledge of how to write the letters, and you practiced it with one hand over and over and over again until it became smooth. And now you can do it automatically. That is the secret phase you got to focus on in order to get to the place you want to be. And accumulating more logical knowledge is not going to do it. You have got to focus more on turning that knowledge into behavioral knowledge so that you do it smoothly. And in order to do that, you need to practice it. And it's a completely different mindset, isn't it? It's a different mindset to know that I need to practice being the person I want to be, thinking, living, eating like the person I want to be. I know what I got to do. I just need to get myself to do. Really minimizes the whole thing. Oh, I know how to write with my other hand. I just have to do it. Yeah, you have to do it. And in order to get yourself to do it, it takes tons and tons of energy, which means you're not going to do it very often. So, again, the human brain is so funny because before it gets into the situation, it's extremely confident, overconfident, I'd say. And once you're actually in the situation, then the reality starts to dawn on you. This is what happens with diets every time. And every time you go into the diet, okay, this time I'm going to do it. This time I'm going to sprint the whole marathon. Well, you can't. And so you're not really ready for the reality of the situation. So what you truly have to do in order to change your weight long term is you need to practice. You need to practice losing weight. You need to practice eating differently in the morning. You need to practice changing how you eat dinner. You need to practice all the food choices that you make. To be honest, you need to practice new ones. Not all of them, you keep some of them, but a lot of new ones. You need to practice them. So it's not enough to just know what to do, you need to practice it again. You could take up golf and you could go and read a book on golf, Go work with a coach and they'll tell you all the steps you need to do. But again, there's a big gap between being taught those steps and knowing those steps and being able to smoothly execute them. Same with your weight. It's a behavioral issue. And so as you start to look at his practice, I think you reframe the whole process and more accurately and helpfully. Because now it's about making the small mindset lifestyle and eating choices and changes feel comfortable, natural, automatic, smooth. That's when you start to really, really create the transformation that you're looking for. It's not enough to just have the knowledge and force yourself to do it. That's not how your brain works. So I hope this helps you out. And if you want some deeper support with this approach, click the link in my bio, go get the hypnosis session I give you, watch the video I made for you and read the emails I send you. I got a bunch of stuff there to help you. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Sirius saying the audio is really distorted today. I hope it's not distorted for everyone. If anyone hears me, is it distorted? Is it screwy? Is it just her connection? I don't know, I have no idea. So let me know, folks. But yeah, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. What do we have? Monday, Wednesday, Today, I don't know what day it is. Wednesday, I'm in kind of half summertime mode. Kids out of school. It's so beautiful out. It is so beautiful out. Organizing the old garage. Got some kayaks. Been kayaking lately. That's been Fun. The challenge has been where we're gonna put them, so. Been setting that whole thing up. But. But yeah, anyway, I know it's funny. I know sometimes people talking weight loss is funny. It's so cyclical and seasonal. It's such a funny thing. I mean, you can really. I've been doing this for so long, you can see the patterns of weight loss that happen. And I don't know, right now, a lot of times people are kind of the mode where they wish they had taken better care of themselves before the summer. Oh, it sounds good here. Good, good. Timeless places. Just got here. Have to deep dive your page. Yeah, well, and, but what I would suggest, Timeless place, I think like my TikToks and Instagram, all these things are great. You know, I love making those short videos. That's kind of my specialty at the moment. Although I am, you know, going to transition to long form YouTube videos eventually. I've been saying that for a little while. That's why I'm laughing. But I am going to do it and that'll be good. But if you don't want to deep dive, what I would suggest is make sure, make sure that you click the link in my bio and go get the hypnosis session and watch the video I made. That's the best deep dive. And then you're on my email list. I have the new Circle Community app. So it's a whole program yourself in community where I give you a bunch of free stuff right in there and there's a whole community. So there's gonna be a whole free section that is not available yet, but it will be available soon. So if you're on my email list, you'll get information for that. I'm kind of. It's ready to go. I got, I am working on my gym AI at the moment and I've been really focusing in on that, getting that to work properly. And I'm going to give you all access to that. You know, I got at least a trial, you know, my clients. You'll get full access to it. You have access to it now, by the way. So if you're in the program, if you go to the Circle app and you go right now, it says it kind of shows that they are support coaches. But if you scroll to the bottom that there's Jim AI click that, go talk to him and he will say he. That AI will help you out. It's programmed to kind of meet you where you're at and you know, you can use it for a lot of Things you can use it to kind of guide you through the program. So it helps you use the different pieces of the program. If you have any issues or challenges you're working against, you can talk to Jim AI with that. You over eight last night, you want to talk it through. You want to be led through the rehearsal technique. So it's really something that's going to become fundamental in the program. I am kind of testing out if it can check in with you every day if you choose to do that. So that's gonna be really cool. And literally, literally, let's call it. I call it the Pocket Coach, but it's literally like having a version of me in your pocket 24 7. And that's really valuable if you'd like to change your weight. So anyways. But you'll get access to that even in the free section. You get to try that out and kind of see how that works. And it's really cool because again, if you. If. And I say if. Don't get mad at me. I'm gonna say it, though. But if you are remotely serious about your weight, remotely, and I say that, of course I'm serious about my weight. And I mean, you know, like, are you serious enough to actually take some action? Don't get mad at me, but I do this shit every day, and everyone tells me how much they want to lose weight. And I will tell you a small fraction. This is a fact. I just know this, okay, A small fraction. Actually take any steps or effort to make it happen. And so the vast majority of people don't really care about losing weight. Don't get me wrong. Don't get mad at me. You know, some people do, but. But most people just think about it all day, you know, and listen to podcasts, you know. You know, most people just don't think about it at all, Just ignore it. And then there's the people that just kind of, you know, listen to all the time, read stuff, you know, think about it constantly, just never do anything, though, you know, and so, you know, it's that way right now. Again, everyone's main issue is motivation, but, you know, it's just. Which brings me to the point, the reason I bring that up is that for most people, it's not that they can't lose weight, it's that they don't want to lose weight. You know, I think that's a more accurate description for the vast majority of people. And that's not a judgment. It's just saying once you recognize that that is probably your Truth. Like if you're, if you're not losing weight right now, if you're not actively doing things to lose weight, it's literally, literally because you don't really want to lose weight. Which doesn't mean you don't want to lose weight. It means that you want to lose weight, but you want to keep doing, doing more. So again, you may want to lose weight, but you want to keep eating and living the way you're living more. Right. And I define that as not really wanting to lose weight. It's called ambivalence. Okay. Yeah, I'd like to lose some weight. Oh, but I don't want to, I don't want to make changes and focus on this and you see what I mean? So that's why motivation is typically the first thing. You know, people gotta kind of sort out before they're ever going to get any results. And most people are walking around unmotivated like, like they literally, again, their motivation doesn't rise to the level of action. So before you can say, oh, I can't lose weight no matter what I do, that I've never seen that. I've literally never seen that. I've never seen someone who I've worked with has gotten really motivated and started taking. I've never seen them not lose weight. Just, just to be honest. So I hear constantly, I hear people tell me no matter what I do, I can't lose weight. I don't believe that though. I, I, I pretty much never believe that. So anyways, don't know how to get on that one. But timeless places, 45 years of up and down. I'm willing to give you a try. Yeah. Yeah. Because what makes this different is this is all about living at your goal weight, not just getting there. And everything you've tried. 45 years of up or down is exactly the diet model. Because dieting is coded in our mind as a temporary thing. It's something you're going to do until you lose the weight. And so it's literally a temporary thing in your mind. Right. I'm going to diet until I lose the weight. So you don't really have a long term plan. Program yourself then is about living at your goal weight for the rest of your life on your autopilot. All the diets are about just getting to your goal weight. So there's the first problem and the second problem is that once you see and think about your weight as a temporary thing, it brings you right to the, right to the step we're trying to do that as fast as possible. If you think it's temporary, well, let's just get it over with. I just want to get to the good part. And so that causes you to approach your weight loss like it's a sprint. And that's where you run into your biggest problems is, again, that's the main metaphor I've been using lately, and I love it so much, is that basically with dieting, you're sprinting a marathon. You know what I mean? You're in the marathon. It's a marathon. How long is a marathon? 26 miles. I should know more about this. When you use this. Let's look up that. How long? Marathon. How long? Marathon, yeah. 26 miles. So, yeah, you're at the starting line for the marathon, 26 miles ahead of you, right? And you say, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna sprint this thing. I'm gonna sprint it. I'll just run as fast as I can the whole time. I'll win, you know, and the gun goes off and you just start sprinting. And for the first eighth of a mile, you're way out ahead of everyone. You're like, oh, shit, this is great plan's working. The next eighth of a mile, you completely run out of gas, pass out and don't finish the race. You know, so that's literally, you're, you know, if you're a dieter, you're a sprinter in a marathon, and, yeah, that's obviously never going to get you the results. Now, again, the problem with the conditioning, the diet industry and the human brain is that you just keep thinking you just need to sprint more. That's the crazy part, is that when you're not actually dieting, your mind's like, yeah, we can sprint the marathon. We can do it. Come on. If we really want it enough, David Goggins could do it. I can do it. I just gotta want it more, you know? And so what you do with your weight loss and your dieting is you're always blaming yourself instead of the strategy, right? So imagine I'm like, I'm the marathon coach you hired, right? I'm unique. I'm different than all the marathon coaches. Those schmoes are just going to teach you to build up endurance. And not me, I going to teach you to sprint right out the gate as fast as you can, you know? And we go to the first marathon and you do it, and the first eight mile, you're way ahead, and then you pass out and don't finish the race. And you go, oh, God, I lost. No. No way. Look how far ahead you were. Look how much. Look how far ahead you were there in that time. You just need to do that longer. And you say, oh, I don't know if I can. I was real. I just collapsed. I didn't have anything left. No, no, nonsense. Let's keep practicing sprinting next time, you know, we meet the next marathon, you do it again and you get the same shit, you know? Yeah, but you want an extra foot. Come on. All right, good job. Now we just. You got to want it more. You know what I mean? Like. Like. No, no. The problem isn't you. The problem isn't your motivation in that case. It's that you're. You literally can't. That's a bad strategy. You can't. That strategy doesn't work for that situation. And dieting doesn't work to help you keep your weight off, literally. There's not a single diet over the last hundred years that's proven to be the best one. Don't you think that's crazy? There's not a single diet proven to be this one. As a matter of fact, they're all proven to not work. How about that? How's about that? There's not a single diet proven to work better than the rest. And they're all proven to work just as shitty over the. Over a long term. Now, I'm not going to argue with which one. You'll lose weight. The most weight this month. Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit how much weight you lose this month if you put it all back on in three to three months. Who gives a shit? That's. Again, that's that fucking clown who ran the Marinol. But I was saying, go run a sprint. That's not what we're doing here. So, again, just. It's crazy to me. I mean, like, there's not a single diet, Not a single diet that rises to the top of the list. That's a crazy stat, don't you think? Not a single one. That's why GLP1s just are blowing up, you know, because there's like, again, it's been there the whole time. The diets don't work. But again, you're not at a reference point. I always say this. I was saying this yesterday again, just that, you know, diets are get rich quick schemes. And again, get rich quick schemes, though you have a. You have a relative comparison, right? We have get rich quick schemes. And then we have, like, you go and you go to school or you go to Training, you get some skills under you, you're able to offer some value and you're compensated for it, right? That's the traditional way to make money. And then there's get rich quick schemes. And when they're side by side, one's obviously superior to the other. Okay? But when it comes to weight loss, you don't have a comparison point. You only have diets, surgery, and injections. You have no concept of shifting your mindset, lifestyle and eating to that of a thin, healthy person. You have no concept of transforming into the person you want to be. Strategically, systematically. You have no concept for that. And so dieting seems like the only thing, even though it does not even work, you know? So I'm glad you're here. Timeless. Because you'll learn a lot of stuff, I'm sure about that. Because again, when you lose a lot of weight and you put it back on, at the very least you're an action taker. And that's the people that end up usually working with me are overthinkers, type A, perfectionist, action taker type people. You know, those are my peeps thoughts on traumatic overeating. Comfort eating. Yeah, I'll talk about comfort eating because trauma overeating is a little more in depth, but I'll talk about comfort eating or just emotional eating in general because I think at the end of the day all, I think pretty much all weight issues ultimately come down to emotional eating, right? And I define that as, you know, if you never emotionally ate, right? If you only ate to fuel your body, you ate enough to fuel your body and you stopped, you'd beat your natural weight. That's kind of how I think of it. And so when we talk about emotional eating, what's usually going on is what most people want to stop. The emotional eating, you want to stop the comfort eating, right? That's what your solution is. You've done that a couple times in the past to lose the weight, right? That's it. No more comfort eating. And you stop it. Okay, but this is a big mistake. When you have an emotional eating issue, you don't want to just stop the behavior. You don't want to stop comfort eating, stress eating, loneliness eating, boredom eating. You don't want to stop those things because they're serving a purpose. So when you're comfort eating, it's creating comfort in you, it's giving you comfort. So what most people do is they get rid of comfort eating, but they're simultaneously get rid of the comfort. I ain't gonna stick with that. Long. So we gotta look at all emotional eating as a symptom of a deeper issue, okay? And the deeper issue is that you don't have any better ways to comfort yourself than eating most of the time. Don't feel bad about that. In this culture, we've been conditioned to use food as our main emotional management strategy, okay? That's what we've been conditioned to do. You don't feel good, you're feeling pain in any sort of way, go to the food, right? Feeling happy, celebrating, go to the food, okay? So, so food has been conditioned for us to be our main emotional management strategy. We don'. Most people don't know how to deal with their emotions on a genuine level, okay? But let's just say, you know, you comfort eat probably when you're uncomfortable. Whatever form that discomfort takes, you know, you can fill in the blanks, but you feel uncomfortable, you don't know how to deal with it genuinely. So you turn to the food. Now the interesting thing is the food's not actually making you more comfortable in that situation. It is a little bit because it's distracting you and it's hitting some pleasure centers. But mostly what it's doing is the distracting you. It's distracting you, whatever is making you uncomfortable in the moment. I'm lonely, I'm bored, I'm stressed out about work, I'm whatever, whatever you're focused on to feel uncomfortable. Now I'm going to think about food, okay? So my psychological focus shifts. That gives me some relief and comfort. And then physiologically it triggers some things that make me feel more comfortable. But then the second you stop eating, boop. Right back to the problem. And on top of it now you piled on top of it right? Now you're mad and upset and frustrated. You ate too. You see? So that situation has actually made things worse if you kind of zoom out a little bit. Alright, so what's the solution? The solution, that's why I said solutions, not to stop comfort eating. The solution is to find ways to feel comfortable that don't involve food. Okay? So as an example, and I'm just using this example, I'm not saying you can just necessarily do this, but we'll say comfort. Let's just say, for example, I give you, you know, if you like massages, okay, Just pretend you do. And I give you a coupon for 100 free massages at the greatest massage masseuse in town. And all of a sudden, you know, you get stressed and you're like, oh, I remember, I got my massage. Well, now you got, you can have a massage or you can have food, one or the other, you know. Now again, I don't know which one you'd pick. I'm just picking massage. But you may not like massages, okay, but think of something that's genuinely comforting you. But you could go to your favorite beach, you could go to your favorite, you know, peaceful relaxing place. You could, you know, take a nap and sleep in more, right? I'm just giving you. So take a hot shower to go to a hot tub. Think of things like that, right? Now, if you did that, if you got a massage, let's say like massage, you go get a massage. Now that's a genuine feeling of comfort, right? Because you get that massage, if you like them, you're going to relax, you're going to breathe more, you're going to loosen up, you're going to feel a lot better and you're going to leave that massage. And when the massage is over, you still feel better. You see what I mean? So that dealt with the core issue. It goes right to the heart a lot more. Now, again, there's other ways to do this, but that's just an example of dealing with the real issue, not the symptom, right? Because again, what most people will do is, oh, I'm a boredom eater, comfort eater, stress eater, let me get rid of that. And first of all, they start getting so stressed, so uncomfortable, whatever they can't manage, they go back to the food because they don't know how to manage the discomfort, you know, and, or what can happen is when you use the food and you don't really deal with. The thing is that I just lost the train of thought, man. I can't remember. But anyways, so it's, it's when it comes to emotional that we want to go to the core of it, you know, and that I look at emotional eating not as a problem with the eating, but it is an absence of better alternative solutions, if that makes sense. And boredom eating, I think is the easiest one to explain this with. Boredom and stressing are probably also. But if you're a boredom eater, you don't want to just. That's what I was going to say. Even if it works, right? Even if you do, I stop boarding meeting, I stop boredom eating. Now you're going to be a board thin person, you're going to be a stressed thin person, you're going to be an uncomfortable thin person. That's not really what you want, you know. So again, we've got to deal with this core issue, I think, you know, and that's how I approach, you know, the comfort eating. Omari says audio is distorted. Yeah, sorry. Everyone in YouTube land and Facebook land, I don't know why the audio is distorted. I mean, sometimes that just happens and I just have no control over it. So I apologize. Makes great deal of sense. Good. Yeah, Timeless place says, really makes sense, actually. Yeah, I'm happy for your timeless place. Yeah. I'm here every day and this is what I do. I make sense of things. And again, this is my, my life's work, you know, this really is my mission in life and I absolutely love it because I love helping smart, action oriented, good people realize that it's not your fault that you haven't lost weight. It's. And I don't just say, I know that's like a marketing thing, you know, but it's genuinely not your fault. You've never learned how to live as a thin, healthy person. You've never learned this stuff. So you'll like this. I'll give you some of my greatest hits here. You know, your entire life, you learn how to weight, lose weight through diets, right? And you think, oh, diets, yeah, they're there to help me lose weight. No, they're not. Diet. Diets are a branch of the food industry. Okay, hear me out. Weight Watchers was owned by Heinz. Jenny Craig was owned by Nestle Atkins Food Products was owned by the same company, owns Onion's Pretzels and Cinnabon Slimfast, owned by the same company, owns Ben and Jerry's ice cream. The concept of dieting is a product created by the food industry to fuck with your head, to basically condition you and trap you into thinking like a dieter. So you don't, you never think of, you think about dieting so weird than everything else. You know, the idea of even how you diet, right? Think about it. Every single diet. And this, I always say this. It's not the nutritional philosophy of a diet that matters. I want you to stop looking at diets as if they're different because they're all the same. I don't give a shit. How is a keto diet, a vegetarian diet, a carnivore diet, a Mediterranean diet? How are they all the same? I'll tell you the mindset a person approaches them with. Because it doesn't matter which one you pick. Weight Watchers, keto, carnivore, vegetarian, veganism, doesn't matter. If you're a dieter, you're going to jump into that plan 100% on day one, usually a Monday, right? You start 100% intermittent fasting, 100%, counting points, 100%, no more carbs, 100%. And it's overwhelming to you. It's that sprinter mentality. I always use the example. It's like if you want to learn to play the piano and you think, well, in order to play the piano, I need to practice eight hours a day. That's the only thing that makes it worthwhile. You muscle through the first day and the next day you wake up and your fingers are all cramped up and gnarly. You hate the piano, your back hurts you. You can't even imagine practicing for another eight hours. And that, metaphorically, is what you're doing to yourself every time you go on a diet. So. And that, metaphorically, is what you're doing to yourself every time you go on a diet. So it's not the nutritional philosophy of the diet that's the core problem. It's the mindset of a dieter and how you approach it. This all or nothing, 100% in or out is. It absolutely doesn't work. And it doesn't work for a lot of things. It certainly doesn't work with weight. You make over 200 food decisions a day. And so what you're expecting is that starting tomorrow you're just going to make 200 decisions totally differently and correctly. Now, again, on paper, that sounds great. I mean, if we're talking about fairy tales, that's. Sign me up, that's a great fairy tale. But if we're talking about actual reality, how does a per. Who are you? Who do you know that can just completely change a fundamental part of their behavior in one day? To give it context, imagine you woke up tomorrow and you decided to say, you know what? Today I'm just going to use my other hand to brush my teeth, to use my phone and to use my computer mouse. I'm using my other hand. See how long you can do that. You'll get half an hour in and you'll be ready to kill someone because it's annoying. You have to think about it. You have to keep thinking about it. You won't stick with it. And, and that's why dieting is so, so prone to failure, because you have to 100% focus and think about it in your life. Are you not, what do you got so much extra capacity energetically, emotionally, intellectually that you can just focus on something 100%? Or are you up to here with life? Are you, Are you at capacity already? You know what I mean? So it's like, it makes no sense, you know, Again, if you could just retire and just live, you know, comfortably and just 100, your main focus, your job, was losing weight. Then go diet, okay, then maybe it would work. But in the real world where you actually have responsibilities and a certain fixed amount of energy and attention, how are you going to completely change everything in one day? You know, and then on top of that, you never learn again and program yourself. Then we follow the goal weight blueprint and it's. It's a golden goal weight pyramid mindset lifestyle eating. Okay? And then we go through the goal weight blueprints where I take you through those, through those three levels in detail and I ask you questions. So you create your own one of a kind blueprint for how to think, live and eat like a thin, healthy person. You know, the mindset section alone has got six parts to it. Motivation, how to motivate yourself. Self image. How to think yourself as a thin, healthy person. Habits. How to deal with your habits strategically in a neuroscientifically based way. Emotions. How to deal with your emotions. Genuinely thinking, literally the nuts and bolts of how to think like a thin, healthy person. The questions asked, the words to use, and then maintenance. How do you stick with it? How do you get. And never mind. When you get to your goal weight, you know, people, oh, I'll think about maintenance. You might not even get to your goal weight. Are you so crazy? They think you're just so certain you're gonna get from week one to week two. Folks, you need maintenance strategies on day one because you need maintenance strategies to get from day one to day two. You can't just assume what then you're just gonna get right to your goal weight. Again, it's the planning fallacy. We have all these cognitive biases that are built into us. Our brains are crazy. And we can't just trust our brain and what it thinks our brain thinks dumb shit. You know what I mean? Like, you know the funniest stuff. Think of the most extreme diet you do and continue to do. Keto is probably the top of the list. Keto is a goofy diet, by the way. The goofiest of the goofy. Well, carnivore is the goofy. There's goofier shit. But keto's at the very top of the list of goofy diets. Just so you know, folks, if you're an American trying to do a keto diet, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. It's goofy anyways, so you know, the diet mindset is really where the core problem is. So I'm happy for you to be here because you probably learned stuff. This again, what I try to do is just point really obvious shit out, you know what I mean? I'm not a rocket scientist. ZNB says, can you answer? I can't answer. I don't know if I didn't see a question you asked, so, so you want to ask again. It says how to get over gaining 12kg from relationship weight. I'd lost 20kg three years ago. Relationship weight. Like you got into a relationship and then you put the weight on. That's a common one, right? So all of a sudden you find someone, you kind of vibe with them and, you know, eating is one of the main things we do with our significant other, right? How to get over gaining 12kg. What an interesting way to frame that question, though. I. That's a very interesting framing of that question, Diana. What I mean is like if, if I'm going to be literal, if I'm going to do a literal answer to that question, how to get over gaining 12 kg from relationship weight, I mean, how you get over it is you just, you raise your goal weight. Like, I don't think that's the question you're asking, right, but you say how to get over gaining 12 kg. Because think about, right, that question. And again, it may be a language thing, but if you say, how do I get over, you know, putting this weight on? Well, you just raise your goal weight up. Now you're over. This is my goal weight I want to be at, and here I am. And next, you know, now if you're asking how do I drop the 12kg I put on from the. When I got in the relationship, That's a different question, right? And what I would suggest to you is to realize that when you lost the 20 kg, you were in a different situation than the one you're in now. If I'm understanding this correctly, you weren't in a relationship, you dropped 20 kg, you got into a relationship, you put 12 kg on. That's how I'm going to understand this question. And what I would suggest as an answer is that you recognize, and this is important for all you dieters because this is one other. One more reason why diets don't work. Diets are very rigid. And what happens is if you're ever successful with a diet, it's typically when you're just. It's a moment in time when you're extra motivated, you got the time, you got the energy, and you're able to do it. But what has to happen for that diet to work is everything pretty much has to support and stay the same. The second one little thing changes again, because all diets are built on a house of cards. All diets, hear me out. Every single diet is built on a house of cards. And everything has to go perfect basically for you to get to that point. And so all of a sudden you have this big shift and again, a positive thing. I got a great relationship. Super, right. But now there's just different behaviors, different routines, different things going on in your life. And now you've got to readjust to that. Okay, so losing 20kg single versus losing 20kg in a relationship are two totally different things. So you basically have to look at this almost as a new undertaking because what you did over here is not a lot of. It's not going to be relevant over here. So you have to disconnect those. Again, our brain's always generalizing. It says, well, I lost weight over here. Why can't I do it over here? Because they're two totally different situations with two totally different challenges. And so we need to acknowledge that. Check out the challenges now in specific ones. So what's going on? It's probably more restaurant eating now is probably a bigger issue. Maybe snacking at the house. He's over, you know, they're over. Maybe snacking is a bigger issue. So again, new challenges and new situations arrive that you've got to deal and find solutions for. So hope that helps. But again, strategic thinking, I think, is probably one of the biggest differences as well with program yourself versus dieting is that I'm always seeking to help you all be strategic because again, and that's the biggest irony I find, because I work with such smart, intelligent, type A, overthinking people that are extremely strategic in a lot of other areas of their lives, extremely strategic, professionally, personally, academically, in their years, they're very, very strategic. But then when it comes to weight, dieters are not strategic at all. Dieters are the opposite of strategic. Dieters are tactical. Most dieters are going to rely on one single tactic to change their weight. They might cut carbs out, they might count their points, they might track their calories, they might try stopping eating for 16 hours. You see? So it's like most dieters have one tactic they're going to just fixate on and try and use to lose their weight. But I believe you need a holistic, comprehensive approach to really, truly live as a thin, healthy person. You know, Diana says, yep, I'm trying to lose it now. Gained it eight months and let. Let it go of myself. You didn't let go of yourself. This is what I'm trying to say. You did not let go of yourself. What happened is when you were single, you had gotten into a routine and a rhythm. Your environment, everything was supporting the weight loss. And all of a sudden there was this dramatic shift in your life. Like and, and technically it's a, it's a shift in your environment, okay? Because now you have this new person. This new person brings new restaurants, new situations where there's food. And you have to now figure out solutions for these new challenges that weren't there when you lost the 20kg. So you did not let yourself go. You didn't let yourself go. What worked over here isn't working over here. And you need to figure out new strategies and solutions over here now. So you didn't let yourself go. It's like me saying, well, I play guitar, right? And so it's like I know how to play this song. And I go and learn a new song. I'm like, I can't play this. That weren't there when you lost the 20kg. So you did not let yourself go. Song. This new song I can't play as well. I really let myself go. I'm really letting myself down by not playing this new song as well as I played the old song. Well, yeah, because the new song is the new song. I gotta practice, I gotta work on it. And when I do that, then I will get as just as good as the old song. Okay, so. So you're not letting yourself go again. This is what I mean. Dieters, what you've. Dieting is a psychological operation installed into your brain by the food companies. I know that sounds crazy and what it primarily it does a lot of things, but one of the big things dieting does to you is it causes you just like a cult. That's what I was talking about yesterday. It's literally like a cult. Dieting is. And one of the things cults do is the leaders cause you. Anytime there's an issue, you blame yourself instead of the cult. And with dieting, you never blame the diet, you never blame the specific diet, you never blame the concept of dieting. You blame yourself and you see it all the time. Even where Diana says I let go of myself. I, I bet it's less to do with you letting go of yourself and it's more to do with you didn't have the strategies and solutions for this new situation. And you got swept up in this new situation a bit completely normal and natural. And so you didn't let yourself go. You just need to figure out new strategy solutions for this new situation. So hope that helps. But I hope that feels good to think of it that way. You know, I feel like I'm back to my starting goals four years ago, and all that progress I made is gone. The progress isn't gone either. Again, there's a common thing people say, well, I'm starting from scratch. You're not starting from scratch because you've. You've changed your behaviors somewhat recently. So if you build on top of the ability that you have and the proof you have that you can change your behaviors but now change them in the new context, you know, you're not starting from scratch, because starting from scratch would be that you've never lost weight before, you've never changed your eating behaviors in any substantial way before. That's starting from scratch. That's all the progress goes. And good news for you, neuroscientifically, you never. You can't get rid of old wiring. That's good and bad, okay? That's what makes weight loss hard to some degree. But when you lose weight and then you put it back on, you still have that wiring for how you lost weight. The secret is you got to actively activate it. That makes sense. Yeah. Diana says it does. Thank you. You're welcome, Diana. Yeah. Diane, you should absolutely make sure you click the link in my bio. Go get the hypnosis session, watch the video training I made for you, and get in my email list, because again, I got a free community app coming out soon, and I will help you all this. And Jim AI is going to be in there. So it's like, it's literally for us. I'll give you an example how Jim AI would help you. Jim AI is my AI clone, and everyone's going to get access to it. Okay? So my clients will have unlimited access to it. And I will literally, I'm going to give you free access to it, you know, for a bit. I can't give you complete access to it. It's just too unwieldy. But so Diana could go to Jim AI and say, I'm struggling with this, right? Just like we talked about. But, Jimmy, I will walk you through getting more clear on the steps to get yourself back on track, help you break it down, help you understand it, look at it with different mindset, come up with better strategies, and walk you right through that process. And if you're in the program, it helps you create your blueprints and does the same stuff as well. So I can't wait. I can't wait till you see it. What's up, Regina? Regina says, what snacks work the best? I think in general, if you're going to snack, and I think ideally, you know, you want to get to a point where you're just relying on your meals. But if you're going to snack right through that process, and if you're in the program, it helps you create your blueprints and does the same stuff as well. So I can't wait. I can't wait to see it. So Regina, Regina says, what snacks work the best? I think in general, if you're going to snack, and I think ideally, you know, you want to get to a point where you're just relying on your meals. But if you're going to snack, my favorite snacks are fruits, vegetables, whole natural foods. Those are the best snacks. Barb says, I love what is the easiest way I can lose weight, because it makes so much sense. Yes, Barb, exactly. So much of our reality is dictated by the questions we ask. And we've all been conditioned to think like dieters and ask dieter questions. And dieter questions are basically, what's wrong with me? How can I lose weight as fast as possible? You know, so it's like the wrong questions. You ask better questions, you get better answers, get better results. Kuwait says, how to stop sugar craving. That's a big issue, but you know, some basic things. First thing I suggest is learn about sugar. Favorite snacks are fruits, vegetables, whole natural foods. Those are the best snacks. Barb says, I love what is the easiest way I can lose weight because it makes so much sense. Yes, Barb, exactly. So much of our reality is dictated by the questions we ask. And we've all been conditioned to think like dieters and ask dieter questions. And dieter questions are basically, what's wrong with me? How. You know, I think you have. You think about sugar, how you think about sugar, and if you eat a lot of sugar, you think about sugar in a benign way, right? So if you look at cigarettes, you know, for a hundred years people looked at cigarettes, they didn't think they were healthy, but they didn't think they were as bad as they were either. And if you're, you know, any, anywhere near the age I am, you remember going through the reconditioning with cigarettes, right? The education of how, what they really do to you. And so that changed the way you thought of them. And I think that's A good first, I lose weight as fast as possible, you know, so it's like the wrong questions. You ask better questions, you get better answers, get better results. Kuwait says how to stop sugar craving. That's a big issue. But you know, some basic things. First thing I suggest is learn about sugar. You know, I think you have, you think about sugar, how you think about sugar, and if you eat a lot of sugar, depth. Because if you're going to try and eat less sugar, but in the back of your mind you're like, ah, sugar's fine. I've been eating sugar since I was a kid. It's great for you, it's fine. Maybe I had to wait, but it's fine. It's harmless. It ain't harmless. And when you start to learn what sugar does to your body, it doesn't take much more than a 10 minute. You think about sugar in a benign way, right? So we can look at cigarettes. You know, for 100 years people looked at cigarettes, they didn't think they were healthy, but they didn't think they were as bad as they were either. And if you're, you know, any, anywhere near the age I am, you remember going through the reconditioning with cigarettes, right? The education of how, what they really do to you. And so that changed the way you thought of them. And I think that's a good first step because if you're going to try and eat less sugar, but in the back of your mind you're like, ah, sugar's fine. I've been eating sugar since I was a kid. It's great for you, it's fine. Maybe I had to wait, but it's, it's, it's fine, it's harmless, it ain't harmless. And when you start to learn what sugar does to your body, it doesn't take much more than a 10 minute search on Google and just see what it actually does to you. That's the first step. Then the obvious stuff, you know, start slowly reducing it, start replacing it with healthier options. You know, get your mindset right, get your lifestyle right, get your reading right. It all comes down to that. I know that sounds a little bit of a cop out, but I got to get out of here. So. I mean, I talk about sugar all the time and I'll talk about at some point a little more. Ari says being five foot tall and a young woman makes weight loss seem impossible. Well, Ari, let me put your mind at ease that it's, you want to feel impossible. Imagine being five foot tall and an Older woman. Not to make the older women feel bad, but again, everything's relative. That's a trick I like to do. A lot of times we think our situation's the worst. I think it's helpful to reference people that have much worse than us so that we can start to feel lucky and that we're, you know, in a good spot. Because again, the younger you are typically the easier it is to lose the weight. So, yes, I get how it's hard though, and, or how it can seem hard, but it's not in the sense that if you approach it systematically and strategically, it's not that difficult. And I say that with a straight face. Folks, I know you think weight loss is impossible, but it's because you have the shittiest strategy ever. Trying to lose all the weight at once instantly is a stupid strategy and feels impossible. If you, Ari, start to look at how you typically eat, that's your starting point. And then you systematically start to reduce calories from it. It's not hard to do. And the secret is, Ari, I know, because you're probably just thinking about cutting calories, but you can't do that, folks. You have to understand the concept of calorie density. And calorie density is the amount of calories in a volume of food. So the secret, especially when you're shorter, is to replace high calorie dense foods with low calorie dense foods so that you're still eating the same volume of food, but you're reducing your calories. That's how you reduce calories and lose weight without feeling hungry. So look that up and I think that'll probably be helpful for you if you don't already know about it. Ari says, is calorie counting a good strategy? I feel like it makes me think about food more. Yeah, I would never calorie count, and I agree with you 1000%. Calorie counting makes me think about food more. And it's just, I think it's a toxic ass mindset, very unnatural. I don't like it one bit. In program yourself, then we structure our reading and it's a looser way to kind of understand what we're doing and influence it. But it doesn't have that, that obsessive, you know, micromanaging nature of counting, tracking calories, which for the vast majority of people is not gonna be long lasting, not gonna be sustainable. So yeah, I agree with you, Ari, with that. I don't think calorie counting is a good strategy long term. Now, I do like calorie counting as, you know, maybe for like a couple days or a week or two, just to get to calibrate what you think the calories are in the food and what they actually are. Do you know what I mean? So to use as an eye opener to get a sense of what you typically eat, where the calories are with it, I think that's good. But I think for the rest of your life, you're gonna count every calorie you put in your body. This is so weird. And I would never want to do it. And I think, yes, it makes me think about food more, too, and I would never do that. So I don't recommend that. So, yeah, you're welcome. All right, everyone, I hope, again, if you're. If you're not in my email list, make sure you go click the link in my bio or go to programyourself. Then dot com, go get the free hypnosis session. Watch the training video I made, read the emails I send. I've got a free community coming. Gonna get to use gym. AI. Got more trainings in there. Jesus. I give you more free stuff than anyone on the planet to help you lose weight. So go check that out. And this. I'm here every live, every day. Monday through Friday is around noon Eastern. Happy to answer your questions. That's what I'm here for. And if you like listening to this and you missed the live, it's also a podcast, so I put it up every day. Program yourself, then go to any podcast platform, search it up, it's there. Listen to it and it will help you. All right, everyone, have a super duper day, and we'll talk soon. Bye.